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The Science Behind the Mind and Behavior

Master Your Mind, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2023 by Tommy Walker

Author: Tommy Walker – The Mind Engineer

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Introduction

Tommy Walker has been a mindset coach since 2009.

These tools he will share here changed his life and the lives of
thousands worldwide…

It can do the same for you.

He has written many books, but he keeps striving to improve his work
so that his teaching can help you transform your life forever.

The information he provides will question many of your beliefs and

what many are teaching out there. So, he invites you to come with an
open heart and open mind. He promises you he will do his best to
prove the different things he teaches in this book. As he is open to
being challenged, he also asks people to challenge themselves, to
experiment with his teachings and see.

He has worked with thousands of people around the world, and

although many see changes in the short run, others see changes after
some time.
Changing your beliefs varies from person to person.

He tells everyone that the challenges you face will bring your negative,
limiting, and false beliefs to the surface, which is why so many people
try to avoid moving away from their comfort zone.

Life can be challenging when you identify yourself with your belief
system. Most people cannot question their old beliefs because they
feel it’s a part of them, as a hand or a leg.

Tommy felt very different, and it was a struggle for many years of his
life. He has been criticized, judged, rejected, etc., but he would not
change it for anything in the world. You could be asking yourself: “Why

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would he not change it?” because when he learned these things, he
realized that being different has brought amazing things into his life.

Most people will tell you that you are crazy and that you should settle
for a “normal“ life if you have “crazy” dreams and goals. They will tell
you that you are not going to make it. They will project their own fears
and frustrations on you. It is like a confession of their unresolved
issues.

They might try to stop you because you are doing something that they
never did, and it scares them a lot. He was told this whenever he tried
something new in his life. Some family members and most of his
friends did not support him back in 2003 when he tried starting a new
business.

Most people do not want to embark on a “difficult” journey, and they

prefer the known and “safe” path.

So many people are struggling in their lives, not happy or fulfilled, even
feeling depressed. He has worked with people who did not have what
they thought would make them happy and were not happy, but he has
also worked with people who had most of the things that they thought
would make them happy and still were not happy.

He used to think that when he had a partner who loved him, the
acceptance and recognition he wanted, the title, money, job, house,
car…, etc., he was going to be happy.

Yes, he was happy when he achieved things, but it lasted very little
until he found himself looking for the next thing that would make him
happy.

We have been wired to look for happiness, success, and fulfillment on

the outside, and that is a big problem.

After working with thousands of people around the world and

understanding how the mind works, he can say that external things will
not bring true happiness.

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He has talked to many people who had amazing ideas or dreams, but
they never did anything about it. Many have spent months or even
years “planning” their idea but never executed. He has also talked to
so many people who were always running after the next thing that
would bring them happiness. He has been there, too, struggling for
years.

He really believes that ANYONE can have a successful, happy, and

fulfilled life if they have the correct mindset. He is not saying it is an
easy path… do not get him wrong, but it is possible.

In this book, he will explain to you how the mind works so that you can
understand why you are running after happiness, success, fulfillment,
or are stuck and how to identify your old patterns and start changing
them.

He wants to share the tools that will help you change your mindset and
have a successful life.

He has combined coaching, neuroscience, therapy, spirituality, inner

child connection, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. By
integrating the best practices from these fields, Tommy has crafted a
holistic approach that addresses the underlying causes of self-limiting
beliefs and empowers individuals to break free from their constraints.

Tommy guides you in accessing your subconscious mind with

unconditional love, facilitating a profound exploration of how and why
these negative programs were created. By understanding what these
programs are "protecting" you from, you gain the ability to heal and
reprogram past events, ultimately liberating yourself from their grip
forever.

Tommy wants to remind us that we are meant for greatness, and by

connecting with our true selves, we will be able to start living the life we
deserve. True love, joy, happiness, abundance, and freedom are our
innate gifts, and he wants to help you reclaim what belongs to you.

Here is what is inside and what you will learn...

How the mind works is explained in a comprehensive way.

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How to identify the parts of your belief system that are holding you
back.

How to discover your true self and unleash your greatest potential.

How to feel good enough and deserving, to achieve more of what you
want.

How to start changing your negative habits and create new ones in
record time.

How to prepare yourself daily for the challenges you will face.

How to believe in yourself to crush your goals.

How to reprogram your mind to become the greatest version of you.

Connect with your inner wisdom, expand your consciousness, and tap
into the universal energy that surrounds you.

Uncover your unique gifts, passions, and life's purpose.

All these tools will help you have the life you want.

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Bio

My name is Tommy Walker – The Mind Engineer.

Let me share with you a little about my own life story.

I had open heart surgery when he was only 3 years and a half. This left
big physical scars, also mental scars. I felt like the black sheep of the
family, and was the bullied kid at school. I had many failed
relationships, came from a failed marriage and also many failed
businesses. I was stuck, very negative, depressed, and playing it small
for many years of his life. I was different and “very” emotional, making
me very different from “regular” boys. I started believing that being
emotional was a curse.

I had many dreams and goals but struggled a lot. Could not seem to
make things happen for me.

I got into marriage for the wrong reasons, and that marriage went very
badly.
For some years I had thoughts about ending it all, because of all the
pain I had.
I had tried so many things, to try to feel better, but nothing seemed to
work. I was covering the problem, not dealing with it.

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It really hit me when my marriage ended, and I developed some health
problems. My cholesterol and blood pressure were going up and I was
developing a fatty liver.

Could not seem to find happiness in my life, no matter what I did.

I was only 30 years old; something was not right.

The doctor told me that I had to change things, or things would get bad
very soon.
Towards the end of 2008, a good friend of mine told me he had met an
amazing mentor / coach who was helping him with his life.

So, I decided to get to know her and see how she could help me. She
was a spiritual and mindset coach.

Since I was a kid, I knew there was something more than what we can
see. But never found the right path.

I knew I wanted to create an impact in the world, but the things I tried
were not getting me any closer.

My mentor / coach was specialized in several areas such as personal

development, inner child healing, Touch for Health, EFT, meditation,
and many other techniques. I started working with her and since then, I
have been transforming my life.

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I had to do a lot of work to change a lot of my belief system. I had
many negative beliefs; I had learned since childhood that I had no idea
I had. I tried ignoring and repressing the negative emotions and
thoughts, that is what many people out there teach, but it didn’t solve
the problem.

With the tools I learned, I was able to identify these beliefs and work
towards changing them into abundance in my life and work. When I
discovered how the mind works and how to start changing, it really
changed my life.

I moved to the mountains with my family, to my dream place.

I still work on my mind every day as it is an ever-evolving journey, one

that I have learned to love.
Many years later, I decided to help people with their mindset too, so I
put together some lectures.
I have been invited to offer these lectures or seminars in the United
States, Argentina, Chile, Colombia, Mexico, and The Caribbean.

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My main quote is, “It is not what you think you think that is holding you
back; it is what you don’t know you think that is holding you back.”

Sounds confusing, but what I want to say is that although people think
that procrastination, stress, anxiety, laziness, and low motivation are
the problems, they are not. The problem is normally something in the
subconscious mind that they are not even aware of (“what they don’t
know they think”). In this book, I will expand on this more.

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How the Mind Works

The mind is made up of the conscious and the subconscious mind.

The conscious is made up of around 10%, and it consists of the things
mentioned in the next picture.

When you are at home, searching for a movie to watch or what to eat,
you are focusing on your conscious mind. The subconscious mind is
always running in the background.
The subconscious mind is made up of around 90%, and it consists of
the things mentioned in the picture.

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Some people talk about the division being 95% and 5%, and it doesn’t
matter the numbers; the important point here is that the subconscious
mind runs the show.

The subconscious mind takes care of all the things we do not think
about, our automatic processes. Things like breathing and circulating
blood around our bodies.
Your subconscious mind is what enables you to do things like learn to
ride a bike; once you learn, you never forget, just like driving a car,
once you learn and you start driving more, you start to do it without
thinking about changing gear or indicating, you do those things
automatically. They become a habit. All your habits come from your
subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind has all your past experiences since

childhood.

Those past experiences are movies (memories) playing in the back of

our heads. Although you might not remember them all, they all created
the scripts / narratives in your mind. I call these programs. Most of the
time, we are not even aware of the background programs running in
the subconscious mind.
Have you ever woken up feeling stress or anxiety for “no apparent
reason”? Thinking, “How is this possible? I just woke up, but I feel this
way”. This is because there is something running in the background,
and you are not aware of it.

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Science has proven that the mind, specifically the right lobe, can be
playing a past memory thinking / feeling it is happening right now.
Studies have shown that a person could be feeling and experimenting
a past memory (with all the feelings, emotions, and thoughts from that
time), even without realizing this. So, a person could be in their house,
feeling unsafe, even when the environment today is safe.
Have you ever reacted “disproportionately” to a situation, or seen
someone do this?
Someone getting really aggressive because someone cut in front of
them with the car?
Feeling alone even surrounded by people?
Feeling very angry for something “small”?
Feeling sad or even crying for not apparent reason?
Overthinking what could go wrong, when actually it seems all is good?
Is your body in fight or flight mode, and you can’t calm your nervous
system?

I have worked with thousands of people around the world who have
negative feelings and tell me that there is no reason to feel this way. I
want to share with you that there is always a reason why we feel the
way we do; most of the time, you might not understand it, but there are
valid reasons. Yes, you read correctly, there are valid reasons to feel
like you do. Not understanding how the mind works makes most
people disregard those feelings, brining false positivity or false
gratitude to try to feel good, instead of diving in to understand what is
going on, to process, heal, and reprogram. It is not about dwelling in
the past; it is about dealing with these negatives.

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As there is no time in the mind, the mind could be running memories
with all its emotional charge, and by denying it, you are not actually
dealing and releasing. When the mind starts playing these memories, it
needs support to deal with them in a more loving way, it is aligning
mind and heart that will allow you to change how you feel, and that is
what I am going to share along this book.

If I ask you to close your eyes and go back to your childhood, maybe to
school or even at a younger age, you might have some memories
come up.
Maybe memories when you were playing at school, or being punished,
or being bullied. The memories are there, whether we remember or
not. And some of them have negative emotions attached to them;
these are all stored in the subconscious mind. Many times, the mind
“hides” them because we are not ready to face them.

The subconscious mind is in protective mode… This means it is

protecting you from pain.

Whenever you tell yourself, I am going to do this… or that, and then do

not do it, it is related to the subconscious mind.
Consciously, you tell yourself you will start a diet next Monday, or
sleep less, or meditate more, or take actions for your life or business,
but then you find yourself not being able to stick with that.
People start with a change consciously, but then their subconscious
mind overrides that.

Does this resonate?

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As most people do not understand how the mind works, they keep
pushing themselves to accomplish things, but many give up. The ones
that don’t give up they many times have nervous breakdowns.
If you understand how the mind works and apply these concepts and
tools, you will be able to start making changes faster.

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Learning about Our Beliefs

As babies, we come to this world with a blank slate in our minds. We

have no idea who we are, our unique gifts, and cannot see our true
self. We don’t have any type of beliefs, it’s just our core selves.
Imagine if a baby had a belief, I am not good enough, or I cannot do
this. They wouldn’t learn how to walk or talk. When we started
exploring the world, we didn’t have limitations. Those limitations started
coming from our parents and environment.

As babies, we start watching our environment and putting information

together. We also start looking at our parents as a mirror, to try to
figure out who we are.

Core Self

As our parents were not perfect, we started seeing a distorted image of

ourselves. Think about this: if you didn’t know what you look like and
you looked at your reflection in a broken mirror, you would create a
distorted image of yourself. Is it your true image? Of course not, but as

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you don’t know who you are as a baby and growing up, you start
believing what you see in the “broken mirror”.

As a kid, have you ever heard from your parents: ”You are mean”,
“You are stupid”, “You are grumpy”, “You are bad”, “You should
behave”, “Why do you keep doing that”? When this happens, you start
thinking that there is something wrong with you, that you are not good
enough, inadequate, not loved, etc. Each kid creates their own unique
stories.
As kids, we think we are the center of the universe, so if my parents
were fighting in front of me, I could think that I did something wrong
and that it was my fault.
When you didn’t feel listened to, supported, loved, understood, or
worst, being bullied, laughed at, hit, or screamed at, as a kid, that
creates negative self-images about yourself. We didn’t have the
maturity to think, “Oh, my parents are fighting, and it has nothing to do
with me”.

This is how we start creating most of our limiting, negative, and false
beliefs.

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This then causes people to be scared of being seen, scared of being
broken, speaking up, asking for help, of their inner darkness because
they think that their negative self-image is who they are. Others might
show self-centered, selfishness, or narcissistic traits. Many create
behaviors to try to compensate these negative self-images. We will
cover more about this later.

Lots of people have identified themselves with these new self-images

and have no idea who they really are underneath.
Through the next chapters, I want to help you identify the negative self-
images, but also recognize your true self.

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There are Many Minds

I know this might sound crazy, but as I mentioned, please open your
mind because I will prove my point if you continue reading.

Have you ever told yourself: “Tomorrow I will do….”. The next day
comes, and you keep thinking of doing it, but another part of you starts
pulling in another direction, and you end up not doing it. Does this
resonate with you?
Some call it different personalities, not thoughts.
This happens to most people that are not doing what they would like to
do. If you had one mind, one voice, you would say, “I am going to do
….” and go do it. So then, how can you explain that we sometimes
have wars inside of our mind between different voices? And no, don’t
worry, you are not crazy… it is normal; the problem is that most people
don’t like talking about this.

One part of you says you need to do this, and another says you need
to do another thing. It’s like two people, or more, inside of our mind…
The image below represents that a part of you in the center and other
parts of you pulling in different directions.

Do you think it will be easy for the part of you in the center to move
forward?

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 Other Part Other Part
Of You Of You

Main Part
Of You

Other Part Other Part

Of You Of You

It is very difficult, or nearly impossible, for a lot of people to do what

they want because they have these other parts of them pulling in
different directions. And they have a LOT of willpower. Think about that
for a second… when you think about doing something and then end up
not doing it, that part of you overrides your main idea.

It is very important not to go to war with those other parts; they are
NOT the enemy; they have a lot of power over us. We will cover more
on that later.

When we start understanding these concepts, it can make us feel more

normal. Remember, the core self-surrounded by all those negative
self-images can make us feel that there is something wrong with us.
The truth is that there is nothing wrong with you, there is a “problem”
with the beliefs you created as a kid, with limited information.

The great news is that when you start understanding how the mind
works, why, and how to make changes in a different way than most
teach, things can change.

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Your Belief System

As the subconscious mind gathers external information, it starts

drawing conclusions.
It creates scripts / narratives (programs, stories) around everything that
happens around you. Most of your belief system is created from when
you are born to around age 7.
So, it creates narratives around success, failure, money, rejection,
love, relationships, etc.
The belief system is dynamic, but as most people do not challenge
their belief system, most are stuck in the same patterns repeatedly.
If your parents struggled with money, your subconscious mind could
have created scripts / narratives (programs) like:
- Money brings problems.
- Money makes people fight.
- Money is bad.
- Money makes people selfish.
- And any other variations.

I have seen this with people without or with lots of money.

Many parents have told their kids:
- Money does not grow on trees.
- You have to work hard to make money.
- Millionaires are bad / selfish people.

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If your parents struggled loving each other, themselves, or you, your
subconscious mind could have created scripts / narratives (programs)
like:
- Love is painful.
- I am not lovable.
- I need to find someone to love me.
- Love is hard.
- Love creates problems.
- Love is screaming.

I have worked with lots of people who have relationship problems

because they are behaving similarly to how they saw their parents
behave. Imagine a woman who was brought up in a house where
screaming was the norm, marrying a guy that in his house yelling was
frowned upon. As they start living together, and the yelling comes out,
the guy feels disrespected and not loved, and the woman doesn’t
understand why he gets triggered every time she tells him something.

Most people do not even know what their beliefs are, because nobody
taught them how to start working on identifying them. If in your
subconscious mind, you have negative beliefs around love, success,
failure, and money, your actions will be aligned with that.

If your parents made you feel not good enough, you could have
created negative scripts / narratives (programs) about yourself. It could
have been by being hard on you when they punishing you for not
getting good grades or not behaving how they thought was the correct
way, screaming at you, hitting you, etc:
- I am not good enough.
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- I am not valued.
- I am not worthy.
- There is something wrong with me.

Maybe dad had a bad day and as he came back home tired, he saw
you doing something he did not like and screamed at you. That could
create a false belief about yourself.

Many people tell me: ”I was a difficult / bad kid”. That is what they
made you believe and is not true. You were just a kid, doing the best
you could. Some kids look for attention by doing things they are not
supposed to do, because they want to get attention. Even though it is
negative attention, it is still attention. Studies have shown that kids
prefer negative attention than no attention at all.

I have also worked with people who tell me: “Tommy, I had a good
childhood; my parents showed me love”. It is important to understand
that you could have had a good childhood, but that doesn’t mean that,
on some occasions, you could have experienced not being listened to,
understood, or supported. Maybe your mom was tired, and you said
you didn’t want to eat the food, and she told you to eat it all. That could
have made you feel not listened to or supported.

The negative images we create are not only created in an abusive

childhood, but they can also be in what people call a “good” childhood.
In whatever area of your life you are struggling, something happened
in your past that created a negative story.

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It is all about beliefs.

I always use this story to prove this point. There are three friends
walking down the street when they see a German shepherd dog
coming towards them. One of them starts running away from the dog,
the other starts crying, and the other runs to greet them.

Same dog, same street, but three different people with their unique
stories. The one that ran away was bitten by a German shepherd as a
kid; he is terrified of those dogs. The one that started crying was
because he had one for many years and had died, so it reminded him
of his dog. The one that ran to greet the dog had a German shepherd
and loved them.

In this example, you can clearly see how their past experiences
defined how they reacted to a situation. Why? Because each one of
them had created a unique story around the German shepherd.

So, if these three guys made their own story around a specific situation
from their past, imagine the different stories you could have created
around love, money, success, failure, mistakes, man, woman,
husband, wife, motherhood, fatherhood, work, etc.

I was working with Jenny, and she was struggling with doing things
around the house. She found it very difficult to do the things she
needed. When we started exploring the subconscious mind to find her
scripts / narratives / stories, when she was a little girl, her mom forced
her to do things around the house. She had very negative stories about

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these activities and would procrastinate because there was no one
forcing her to do them. As we started working on healing and
reprogramming, changing those negative stories, she was able to start
doing these activities around the house.

I use the example of the flower; in the center of the flower, you have
the word love, success, failure, laundry, homework, study, money, etc.,
and around it, you have the associations and stories you created.

Hard
Joy
Fighting

Love Compan-
ionship

Yelling Happin-
ess

As I mentioned in this chapter, someone who is exposed to yelling and

fighting amongst their parents associated that this type of behavior is
the norm in a “loving” relationship.

They then behave the same way in their own relationships, maybe
yelling at their partner and don’t understand how their partner feels a
lack of love from that.

We see the world in our unique way because of our past experiences.
If we don’t dig deeper into our past to identify the stories we created

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and why, it will be very difficult to make changes. You cannot fix your
car if you don’t know how it works. That is why so many people teach
mind hacks because they try to override their negative behaviors
instead of really understanding and going to the root of the problem.
If I have a headache because I am dehydrated, and instead of drinking
more liquids, I take a pill to take away the headache, I don’t solve the
root problem. This is what I have seen in the market for many years
now. People becoming professionals at repressing and forcing
themselves to change. I don’t believe that is the most effective way,
nor sustainable in time, eventually, something will give in.

Check the next image “The Mind Funnel” where I represent the
conscious and subconscious mind, the belief system.

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The colors do not represent anything in this picture; I used the
marketing funnel to represent the mind funnel.

So consciously, you think about taking an action for your life.

Example. You will start going to the gym three times a week. Or you
want to start working on your book or want to start dieting.

That idea goes into the subconscious mind, where you have the script /
narratives (your belief system) and will execute accordingly. So, as you
see in the “The Mind Funnel” picture, in the end, the person takes
small actions, or many times, no action.

The mind will run the programs in your subconscious mind,

whether you like it or not.

Imagine going to the movies and screaming at the screen so the actors
change their script, and the movie ends the way you want. That
sounds crazy and impossible, but most people are doing the exact
thing with their life… that is why so many are struggling with their
businesses but not getting anywhere.
The mind works the same way. Once it has a script / narrative, it will
run that over and over again.
So, if subconsciously you do not want money, as mentioned before,
your actions will be aligned with that.
If you feel you are not good enough, you will not take action to change
your life, because that is the script / narrative in your subconscious
mind.

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People Treat the Symptoms

Many people blame everyone else for their problems but do not realize
that the “problem” is within.
When people get stressed out, overwhelm, procrastinate, lose focus or
clarity, and have low motivation, they try many things externally to
change this.
External things might bring some change, although it does not work for
most.
What do I mean by external things?
Meditation, relaxation, breathwork, running, exercise, yoga, affirmation,
sleeping, etc., but never treat the root problem.
These things treat the symptoms, not the root cause. I always give this
analogy; it is like pumping air into a tire with a hole in it. It will start
inflating like it is fine (if the hole is not too big), but it will deflate again.

Pumping air into a flat tire is like pumping positivity into yourself without
getting the garbage out of your mind.

So, all these new amazing healthy habits people are practicing can still
be used as a way to “disconnect” from the pain.
If I feel sad and go and run / meditate / listen to music but never dive
deeper to identify why I feel sad, I am not treating the symptoms, I am
only covering the pain. Imagine your partner getting back home and
telling you that they are feeling sad, and you walk away. How would
they feel? Of course, it’s not good, so don’t do it to yourself.

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So many people use these healthy habits to convince themselves they
are doing something “good”, but the truth is, they are just covering the
problem.

Most people out there are teaching these things I mentioned above as
the solution to the problem; hence I call it “Treating the symptoms”.
Do you find yourself procrastinating? Feeling overwhelmed or stressed
out? Sad? Unhappy? Depressed?
Every single person goes through this, and most learn coping
mechanisms but never treat the root cause.

That is why so many people go through nervous breakdowns or

burnout along their life. I was there many years ago, as I mentioned
before, and I have worked with a lot of people who have experienced it
too.

If you want to overcome your struggles and start feeling true

happiness, you need to start identifying and changing the root cause.
If you keep doing the same things externally, it means that you must
change something internally.

Many people go from one job to another, from one relationship to

another, etc., trying to find happiness.
Whenever you want to do something, you find yourself stuck and
overthinking, procrastinating, feeling overwhelmed, sad, etc.
So, as I mentioned before, procrastination and other things are just the
surface problem. Most people try to work on procrastination,

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overthinking, perfectionism, and finding happiness outside, and things
do not change much.
Why?
This happens because they are not going into the subconscious mind
and changing the scripts/narratives that get them stuck.
To feel that true happiness and make lasting changes in your life, you
need to identify your own negative scripts/narratives.
So, what are the main ones most people struggle with?
I am not good enough. I am not worthy. I do not deserve it. I am not
valued. I am inadequate.

These are some of the main ones I have seen over and over again.
Most people feel deep down they are not good enough, so their actions
are aligned with that. That is why they cannot change their current
circumstances.
These scripts/narratives are creating surface problems.
Check this image below.

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When people treat the symptoms, they get more stuck or push the
problem down the road. Things do not change much; there is usually a
short-term gain, but the problem will come back again.

Example. You want to find a partner to feel loved and happy. But you
might find yourself not doing the things you need to do to meet new
people or ask them out.

You tell yourself that you need certain things to happen for you to be
able to start meeting people or asking someone out.
The truth is you are focusing on the wrong things… your mind is
making up excuses.
You need people to know you, but most are afraid of letting others in.
I am writing this book after years of doing Mindset Coaching. I did not
spend months or years writing things to then feel ready to write this
book.
Want to know why?
Because I have changed my belief system, if nobody likes this book, I
can learn from it. I am still happy because I gave it a try, no matter the
outcome.

The mind will try to complicate things or push you towards

procrastination, overwhelm, loss of clarity or focus, so you do not do
the things that make you uncomfortable.
Most people choose the “easy” path because it does not make them
uncomfortable. But you need to understand that your dreams and
goals are outside of your comfort zone.

32
The mind will push you away from doing uncomfortable,
overcomplicating things or just getting you stuck, as a protective
mechanism.
Further on, I will cover how to start identifying the root problem and not
just pumping air into a flat tire.

33
The Comfort Zone

Lots of people spend their entire life in the Comfort Zone, a zone
where it feels safe… but what they do not realize is that their dreams
are outside of that zone.

In the image below, you can see that the first zone is the “Comfort
Zone”. When you move out of the Comfort Zone, the next zone you go
through is the “Fear Zone”.

We have not been taught how to deal with fear. More so, most people
have been taught that fear is bad.

34
When we were kids, and we were scared or afraid of the dark, ghosts,
etc., our parents would tell us:

Do not be scared.
Do not be afraid.
So, we created scripts/narratives (programs) around being afraid or
scared as something very bad.
Maybe fear = rejection = pain.
Most people repress those feelings because mom and dad taught
them that. As they repress them, they get stuck, have high levels of
stress or anxiety, overwhelm, etc.

We are emotional beings; we cannot get rid of our emotions. We can

stuff them in till they explode.
An amazing mentor of mine once taught me: “Fear is a great advisor
but a very bad driver”. He explained that we need to embrace the fear,
learn from it, there is a reason why it is there. The problem is when we
ignore it, the fear starts building up till we might get a panic attack,
become paralyzed, etc. With this book, I am inviting you to learn how
to deal with fear the right way.

Back to the image, how are you going to go through a zone that your
mind is preventing you from going through?
The mind does not know what to do with the fear so it just pushes you
away from the task/situation/ person that is creating that fear, and
brings you back to “safety”, the comfort zone.

35
But as you can see in the image, the learning zone and growth zone
are after the fear zone. So, you need to go through the fear zone to get
to the growth zone. Right? It is NOT about pushing yourself through
fear. A lot of people use fear as fuel, but they don’t realize that fear has
more negative residue on your mind and body. Have you ever done
things out of fear and felt very tired, drained, or even exhausted?

If you want to grow in your life, you need to understand this at a very
deep level.
At this stage, your mind could be fighting back some of the things I am
sharing. That has to do with the ego trying to protect what it believes is
the truth.
This is a normal reaction, again, because you are moving out of your
comfort zone, and the mind wants to protect you.

36
How We Create our Habits or Behaviors

Most people are struggling to change their habits / behaviors. It could

be to stop procrastinating, wake up earlier, not get distracted, have
laser focus, etc. You need to understand that habits are the end result.

You cannot be more focused if you do not understand what is making

you lose your focus. As I mentioned before, we have created our belief
systems (our scripts / narratives) from past experiences. So, we have
VALID reasons to be doing what we are doing.

Our belief system then triggers emotions, and those emotions create
reactions. As you keep reacting the same way over and over again,
you create habits.

Belief >>>> Emotion >>>> Habit / Behavior

So, a positive belief like “I can do this”, will lead to positive emotions
and hence positive habits.
On the other hand, a negative belief will lead to a negative emotion
and hence to negative habits.
This is one of the most important takeaways from this book. If you
really understand this, you can start making changes in your life.

37
People try to change habits by pushing themselves to change them.
That does not work for most people, and they go back to old habits and
stuck in their life.

To have a successful life, you need to develop good habits.

If you keep trying to change your habits without understanding how

they were created, you will fail.
I have worked with many people who could not wake up earlier in the
morning. They wanted to, they put several alarm clocks, but nothing
worked.
See here how alarm clocks are just treating the symptom? Some of
them did not even hear the alarms, and others turned them off and
kept sleeping.

When we started identifying the negative emotions and then the

negative beliefs, and reprogramming the subconscious mind, he was
able to wake up earlier and be much more productive.

Some time ago, I worked with Ben, a marketing coach that could not
wake up earlier. He wanted to do a morning routine, do some exercise,
and then start working on his business.
He would set up several alarm clocks, trying to wake up at 6 or 6.30
am, but would wake up at 10 or 11 am.
He tried many things, but nothing worked. This was because he was
treating the symptom but not the root cause.

38
As we started working together, identifying the negative emotions and
then the negative beliefs and reprogramming the subconscious mind,
he started to see big changes.

39
Protective Mechanisms of the Mind

As I mentioned before, the subconscious mind is in protective mode.

It wants to prevent you from getting hurt or suffering mental or physical
pain. If you need to do tasks that make you feel uncomfortable, the
mind will try to move you away from the situation or person.

You should now understand a little more why you are getting stuck,
procrastinating, moving from one idea to another, and not taking the
correct actions your life needs.

The mind wants to protect you. If you have negative scripts/narratives

around failure, rejection, success, money, love, happiness, etc., the
mind will find perfect excuses for you to stay in the comfort zone,
without taking the actions you need. In many cases, it will give you
very logical explanations on why not to do this or that or why you
should do something else. A lot of people find themselves doing things
but not what needs to be done. So, they feel kind of o, because they
are doing something, even if it is not what they need to do.

If I have the script / narrative (false belief) in my subconscious mind, “I

don't feel good enough”, what do you think the mind will do?
It will protect me in any way it can because the subconscious mind
does not want me to confirm that externally.

40
Example. I want to be loved, so I ask a person out to start dating
someone, but they say no. I do not get the result I wanted from that
action, and that will confirm the false belief “I am not good enough”.

The mind will look for other things to do, will try to make up “perfect”
excuses not to ask someone out so as not to be rejected, and confirm
you are not good enough.
Most people do not even realize when the mind is doing that. They
have no idea what is going on.
They reach out to me saying they are procrastinating all day and
cannot seem to take action towards changing their life; they say they
do this because they are lazy.
That is not correct. Thinking they are lazy is the excuse the mind uses
to distract you from the real reason. Look at the image below.

41
As I mentioned before, beliefs create emotions, and emotions will
create reactions, and as we repeat those reactions, they turn into
habits / behaviors.

So, we need to look at the boxes on the right from the bottom up. A
person is procrastinating, and they try everything possible to stop
doing it, but nothing seems to work. They never stop to understand
why they procrastinate. What I teach is, to stop, breathe and feel your
emotions.

If you go up one box above procrastination, you will see it says Fear
and Frustration. A person is having negative emotions that then create
procrastination. So why do they feel negative emotions? If you go up
one box, you will see that it says that the person has beliefs of failure
and that they don’t do anything right.

Things happened during their childhood that created these beliefs, that
trigger negative emotions, then, in turn, create procrastination. So, this
person has VALID reasons to procrastinate and feel those negative
feelings. So, the mind will protect the person by creating a behavior to
avoid the pain. This is how the mind works… again, you can see it is
not the enemy.

Pilar reached out to me because she was not able to open up to love
and have a steady relationship. She had been single for many years;
she was in her 40s and did not like that at all. Could not find someone
to love her. She always fell for the wrong guys.

42
When I asked Pilar to describe the ideal guy, she shared many
amazing traits for a partner. But that list was very different from the
guys she fell for. Why was that?
We started working on identifying her deep beliefs around
relationships, love, men, etc. Deep in her subconscious mind she did
not trust men or believe in love. Pilar was looking for emotionally
unavailable, selfish, and narcissistic men.
Why was she doing that?
During childhood, her mom was always telling her that men were mean
and bad, emotionally unavailable, selfish, and narcissistic, and that she
was going to get a divorce. This person I was working with, made up a
list of these negative traits, in her subconscious mind, around all men
and that love was painful. So, she was always looking for those types
of guys.
As we started reprogramming the mind and changing the beliefs, a
couple of months later she could open up to love and met an amazing
guy, who was more towards the positive traits she wanted. As she
started loving herself, she was able to meet someone who could also
love her.

Another example is Kim, a marketing coach. He had the strategies and

tactics around marketing and sales but could not take action. Kim was
procrastinating all day. Whenever he got a possible client, he would
sound very doubtful over the phone, and nobody wanted to work with
him.
When I started talking to him about money, he told me he wanted
money, he felt he deserved money, etc. When we started going into
the subconscious mind and identifying his scripts/narratives he had
created in his past, we found that he thought he did not deserve
43
money, that he had to beg for money, and that having money could
make him a bad person.
His story was that he had to beg for money from his dad, and his dad
was not a good person, he had scammed the family with money.
So, this person had created negative scripts/narratives around himself
and around money.
Deep down, he did not want money; he didn’t want to be like his father.
We started working on changing those scripts/narratives in his
subconscious mind, and in less than 4 weeks he made 9 thousand
dollars with his business.
What I taught him is exactly the same things I am covering in this book.

That is how powerful the mind is, when working with you, not
against you.

44
Turning Healthy Habits into “Addictions”

Your ego grows as you grow. What does this mean? As you grow, your
ego finds more subtle ways to trick you. So many people out there are
convincing themselves that by practicing healthy habits, they are doing
good for themselves. They feel better about themselves because they
are practicing these healthy habits, but they don’t address the pain
inside.

Don’t get me wrong, it is really good that people practice Yoga,

meditation, breathwork, etc. It is much better than smoking, drinking,
etc… but for most people, the ego still uses that to move away from
the inner pain.

The key is the intention.

Protective mechanism. Someone is meditating to feel better and not

focus on the pain they are feeling… moving away from the pain.

Growth mechanism. Someone is meditating to connect with the inner

pain, to understand what is going on and to reprogram.

They both are doing the same practice, but one is using it in a negative
way.
The ego convinces them that they are practicing a healthy habit when,
instead, it is a way of preventing them from facing the real problem.

45
I have been asking in many social media groups, with thousands of
people, “What do you do when you have negative emotions?”. 98% of
people replied that they practice healthy habits, but very very few
replied, “Work on identifying why I feel these negative emotions”.

If you feel bad and go do Yoga, to feel better, but you don’t work on
identifying the negative emotion that was triggered and use it to identify
the negative belief, you are putting a band-aid.

When people use alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, eating, movies, social

media, etc. to move away from the pain to feel some kind of
gratification, it could be an addiction.
So, if people are using healthy habits so as to feel better on the
surface, it could be “similar” to what people do with alcohol, drugs, etc.

Many people think that these healthy habits are really helping, but the
truth is, that they are creating a bigger disconnection within.
They feel better, but for a short period of time, they then need to find
something else to make them feel good.
The most effective way to stop these negative patterns is to ask
yourself, “Why am I doing this, to face the pain or move away from it?”

46
Getting Rid of the Negatives the Right Way

What most people are teaching out there is the WRONG way to get rid
of the negatives. I know it is a bold statement, but I want to prove this
to you.

Many years ago, I was scammed us$ 10,000 from a company I hired to
offer me some services. Their services were really bad, and I tried to
get a refund of the money. As I had signed a contract with them, and I
never read the “fine print”, there was nothing I could do. For some
time, I beat myself up for this decision. I was angry and disappointed
towards the company for what they had done to me.

As I started applying these tools, I was able to find the negatives I had
in my mind. In the beginning, I was trying to get rid of them because
what had happened to me was painful. Trying to get rid of the
negatives didn’t help me at all, I felt even more miserable, and I was
losing the opportunity to learn and grow.

I came up with this great example to help people understand why

getting rid of the negatives is not the best option. We all know what a
game of tug of war is.

So now look at the first picture below. Imagine yourself facing life in
this situation. There is a “team” life challenges on one side, and there
is your team on the other side. But as you look closely, you can see 3

47
of your team pulling in a different direction. This is not the best
scenario for you, of course. 7 against 1, no way you will win.

Life Challenges Negatives You

So, what most people teach out there is just to get rid of the negatives.
They say they are not you, that you need to ignore them, run over
them, kick them out, and many other things.
So let me show you in the next image what would that look like,
according to what I have studied and practiced for many years now.

Get Rid of
Life Challenges the Negatives You

As you can see, we got rid of the first negative team member. Now
let’s do the same with the other two, so you can have a chance against
life.
So, as you can see, now you have a “better” chance against what life
can throw at you.

48
 No More
Life Challenges Negatives You

But do you really think you have a chance against the other team?
Four against one, I see it nearly impossible for you. You might be
thinking that this was better than seven against one, and yes, you are
right. But what if I show you another way, that is much more beneficial
for you?

As you have experienced in the past, the part of you saying, “I will do
this tomorrow” doesn’t have too much power over the other parts,
right? So, we can agree that the other parts have a lot of strength,
because they are pulling you around, even when you try not to.

Let’s go back to the example I gave some time ago, where there is
your main you, and then parts of you pulling in different directions.

If you were stronger than the other parts, we would agree that you
would move in the direction you set your mind to go. But it doesn’t
happen… so who seems to be stronger?

49
 Other Part Other Part
Of You Of You

Main Part
Of You

Other Part Other Part

Of You Of You

Please, take some time to reflect on this idea. If you need, re-read this
chapter because it is very important for you to understand what I am
sharing here.

So, in the tug of war, if I get rid of those parts pulling in the wrong
direction, it may seem I have a chance, but I still have all the odds
against me. Getting rid of the negatives might seem right, and we have
been taught to do that our entire life, and we see big names out there
teaching that over and over again, that is why we might think it is
correct. I want to prove to you that it is NOT correct.

I will show you another way, that will give you a better chance to gain
the strength you need to make the changes you desire.
I invite you to try to understand why those team members are pulling
the other way. Don’t go into a fight with yourself, you will always lose. It
is like punching one hand with your fist, because the hand hurts. I
know it sounds stupid, but going into war with the part of you that is
supposedly playing against you, is not good. That part of you is playing
supposedly against you, because, as I mentioned many times already,
it is trying to protect you from the pain.

50
I hope that by now you are getting what I mean, because it is important
to now move forward into changing the negative the right way. What I
teach is, to grab the negative part of you, and love and accept it. I am
not saying it is easy, but if you are starting to understand that this part
of you is protecting you from feeling pain, it might be easier to love and
accept that part of you.

We will do an exercise in a little that will help you understand this even
more, but first let’s go through the process that I teach.
Again, love and accept the part of you that is procrastinating. It has
valid reasons to do that, according to your deep beliefs.

So, for the sake of the tug of war example, check this out. You can
start yelling at the first guy telling him he is stupid and that he is doing
all wrong. How would that guy feel? Would that guy be open to
listening and learning the correct rules of tug of war? Or would they
shut down and walk away?

Now imagine yourself loving and accepting that part of you, and then
asking them why they are pulling that way. What is the benefit of what
they are doing. The first guy tells you that he has never played tug of
war, and that the other team told him to position himself like that. So
now you have your AHA moment… that guy is not purposely doing this
against you, it is trying to do what he was told. Now that you
understand what is going on, you can explain to that guy, that he is
part of your team, and that he needs to pull the other way.
51
The guy turns around and starts pulling your way.

Now, move to the next person. You love and accept what is going on
and ask them why they are pulling that way. So again, you love,
accept, and then understand that part of you, to figure out why that part
is having that reaction or behavior.

You do that till you align those parts, and they pull with you. We will go
deeper into how to work on understanding and reprogramming those
parts to play the game in your favor, but for now, I need you to
understand the general concept of understanding and integrating the
negative parts, so they start playing for you.

Look at the image below, where all your team members are pulling the
way, you need them to.
Now that you have seen this, and I hope you understand this concept,
isn’t this better than getting rid of the negatives?
One mind pulling or pushing in the same direction will make all the
difference, so you become one, one will, one idea, one goal.

52
Going back to the scam I went through; I was judging myself for the
bad decision I had made. That was a partial truth, not the higher truth.
Reflecting on that, I was able to see that the higher truth was that I had
made a good decision at the time I did. I always use this phrase “With
the information provided at that time I made the best decision
possible”. With my knowledge and experience at that time, I made a
good decision.

It is so easy to fall into judgment once you get more information the
next day, week, month, or year. It’s like judging myself that I chose the
wrong number from the Lottery after I see the one that came out the
next week.

With the knowledge and experience I have now, I would never make
that decision again, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad decision. I
know it can sound strange, because we are so used to judging our
decisions, instead of realizing the higher truth.

I have learned so much from that experience that I wouldn’t change it

for anything in the world. It helped me grow so much that I see it as the
best decision in my life, seriously.

Was it easy going through that at that moment? Of course not. I went
to a dark place, like a caterpillar when it gets into the cocoon, and I
came out transformed.

Life will bring opportunities that will put you in your own cocoon, to help
you transform yourself. It is not a bad situation; you are seeing it as
bad because of your own negative stories.

53
Negative Emotions are Not Bad

We all speak about positive or negative emotions, and that is okay.

The problem is that people see negative emotions as something bad.
When we were kids, we didn’t understand anything about the emotions
we or others were going through.

What we learned from those experiences is how to tag these emotions,

as good or bad. If your dad got angry, that brought pain to you and the
people around you. If you got angry, you could have been judged or
criticized too. So, you could have started learning that anger is bad.

When you were scared, that emotion might have not been
acknowledged and accepted by your parents. As I mentioned in other
parts of the book, they could have told you not to be scared. That
again, starts creating the idea that being scared is bad.

The example I use to make it easy to understand where I am going

with this is that there are no good or bad emotions, there are just
emotions. We have attached a story / program to the different
emotions, that is when they become good or bad.

Potassium in the body has a positive charge and bicarbonate in the

body has a negative charge. That doesn’t mean that potassium is
good, and bicarbonate is bad, they just have different charges, and
both are an important part of the body.

54
Feeling negative emotions is part of our human experience. But as we
have been taught that negative emotions are bad, we tend to have a
hard time feeling them. We judge and reject them, exactly what we
were taught as kids. As we judge ourselves and reject those emotions,
we bury that part of us deep inside. As we do that, we disconnect from
those parts of us.

People have become professionals at repressing and burying their

negative emotions, but that doesn’t mean they will solve anything.
Even big gurus teach this. As you deny the negative emotions, you are
missing the opportunity to identify the negative story / programming
behind them and grow.

This is what is holding most people back, the denial of their negative
emotions. Remember what I shared in previous chapters, the belief
emotion behavior formula. We need to embrace ALL our emotions, not
just our positive ones. If we don’t deal with our negative emotions, we
will not be able to change the negative stories behind them, and these
will keep us stuck.

55
Loving and Accepting What Is

A very important thing we need to do, to be able to make changes, is

to love and accept what is.

What helped me get over the us$ 10,000 scam was to love and accept
what it was. I had to first love and accept my negative emotions to then
go deeper. When we find it hard to go deep, it’s because there is a part
of us not wanting to accept the negative emotions.

As I mentioned before, it was not easy, but it was possible. Love and
acceptance put me in a place of learning, and that then brought the
growth and transformation of my being in ways I wouldn’t have ever
imagined.

The example I always use is, if you have a partner who is not behaving
like you would like to, would it work if you start screaming at them to
change? Bulling, demeaning, screaming, etc., most sure make them
close up, and not open up to have a nice conversation. If you want
someone to stop smoking or drinking, and you treat them like shit,
there are low probabilities they will stop it.

So, if it is not so productive to treat someone like that, if you want to

help them change, why is it okay to do it to yourself? If you are not
behaving the way you should, or feeling negative, instead of treating
yourself badly, try something different.

56
A lot of people confuse that if they love and accept, it will encourage
the behavior to stick around. They think that because they don’t really
understand the mind. We are not loving and accepting the behavior;
we are loving and accepting the part of us that created the behavior in
the first place.

As I mentioned several times before, many behaviors are there to

protect us to avoid feeling pain.
If by now, this still is difficult to grasp, I would recommend you don’t
continue reading, and go back to previous chapters. You need to really
grasp the idea that the mind is trying to protect you, not harm you. No
matter the behavior, even for a drug addict.

There are two main human drivers.

1- Seeking for love.
2- Seeking to numb the pain from the lack of love.

I believe we are spiritual beings living a human experience. So, our

spiritual side, will always have good intentions. But our human side,
because of the childhood we had, the unresolved issues, and negative
self-images, will have a hidden agenda. Yes, there is nothing wrong
with that; it is what it is… love and acceptance. A lot of people find it
hard to accept this because they think this can make them a bad
person, confirming their negative self-images and beliefs they have.

Going back to the example of a drug addict, they are numbing the pain
of the lack of love.

57
A person that becomes a people pleasure, could do it because they
are looking to receive love and acceptance through their pleasing. A
person looking to make a lot of money, have a nice body, could be
looking for love and acceptance.
Those things are there from our human side, we need to accept them.
If we don’t accept them, it will be very difficult to change.

Let’s try an exercise to see this about loving and accepting. I want to
invite you to close your eyes and allow yourself to feel any negative
feelings you might have gotten today, the past week, or month.
Whenever you were feeling bad, go to that moment. Imagine yourself
there, feelings…… and fill in the blanks.

Connect with the emotions, whatever it is or was. Allow it to be there. A

lot of people reject dealing with the negativity because they have been
brainwashed to think that if you think negatively, you will attract more
negativity. Sounds familiar?

I keep hearing this over and over again, and it is not true. I try to be a
loving dad, and if my kid is struggling, I wouldn’t just send him crap to
feel worst, just because, as punishment. If the universe is sending you
some negative things, it is an opportunity to learn and grow.

So, going back to the exercise, embrace the negativity. Become the
observer of that negativity; don’t deny, repress, ignore, push away, or
allow it to be there. Allow yourself to look at that part of you as a
separate part, and that observer is going to start loving and accepting
that other part.

58
Breathe in and breathe out… feel it, as if you were consoling your son
or daughter, or a loved one. No words are needed now, just be there,
present.

As you did this exercise, if you are able to separate yourself, be the
observer, and truly love and accept that part of you, the negative
emotions or thoughts should start becoming weaker. It might not go
away right away, but that small change is a BIG first step. As you
practice more of this, you will feel more and more different. In many
cases, our feelings STOP running our lives.

Love and acceptance will allow MOST people to be open to learning

and growing. So, let’s start practicing that for ourselves.

59
The Main Problem: Why Most Things Out
There Do Not Work

Many of the tools taught out there are just treating the symptoms.
There is a mindset coach born every minute. So many of them are
copying and pasting what other “Gurus” are saying, what other people
are doing. They have very little experience but want to make a quick
buck.

Therefore, many people are still struggling, no matter how much work
they do. This is because they are using the wrong tools. If I give you a
spoon and ask you to make a big hole in the ground, you will realize
that what I am asking you is crazy. That has to do with your knowledge
and past experiences.

But if you did not know that shovels existed, you would have dug a
hole with a spoon.
The same happens with mind work. So many people are trying old
things, that seem like they help, but are not making any big changes.

Doing some research, I found that at least 80% of the people that sign
up in many group coaching programs do not get the result they were
looking for. They get stuck and do not show up to the group calls.
People are spending 2k, 5k or even 10k for programs and still do not
get results. So how is that possible?
Because the mind is not addressed correctly…

60
If you do not work on the mindset, you can give the best tools to
someone, and there is an 80 / 90% chance he will not be able to apply
them.

I have also found that a lot of people are teaching to push yourself to
do something you don’t feel comfortable with.
Most of us have been exposed to some kind of authoritarian parenting.

"Eat all your food"

"Study..."

"Behave”

“Don’t do this or that…”

We didn't have much power of decisions as kids, we were told what to

do.

That creates self-doubt, low confidence, and low self-esteem.

Doesn't this sound familiar?

Yes, most people struggle with this and most don't want to accept it.

So, when you deny, burn, toss a false or negative belief, that is a kind
of authoritarianism.

You are not understanding and accepting that there is a part of you
that feels like that. I don't mean accepting as giving up, I mean as a
stepping stone to make the change.

Let me give you a perfect example that happened to me some time

ago.

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When my youngest was 6 years old, he came to me and said: "Dad, I
am ugly",

An authoritarian response could have been: "Don't say that... that is

not true, you are beautiful".

Does this seem the automatic response most people have, deny a
thought or emotion????

As I am someone he looks up to, he would have denied and repressed

that belief, and pretend it never happened.

This is not reprogramming, although it might seem, it is just repression.

This creates a belief in his head that his thoughts are wrong, and he
needs someone to tell him what to feel and think.

Hence, self-doubt, low confidence, and low self-esteem, what most

people struggle with.

Instead... look what I did.

I said: "Ok, why do you feel ugly?"

Kid: "I don't like my face"

Me: "What don't you like of your face?"

Kid: "My eyes"

Me: "Why don't you like your eyes"

Kid: "Because they have a different color than my brother"

He had created a negative belief around being ugly, because his eyes
were different than his brother’s.

So, I listened, understood, and accepted what he was saying.

I NEVER denied or repressed it.

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I asked him about the color of my eyes, that by the way, are the same
as his.

I asked him if my eyes were ugly, to which he said no.

Then I said: "If your eyes are very similar to mine, and my eyes are not
ugly... are your eyes ugly?"

And he said no. I explained to him that our uniqueness makes us

special, that people are different...

He smiled and walked away.

THAT IS REPROGRAMMING....

Identify, accept, understand and learn from a belief...

As you get rid of the programs holding you back, and getting you stuck,
you will be able to create the life you desire.

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Understanding How Our Past Still Affects
Us

I have heard and read so many times people saying that the past is
gone and there is nothing you can do about it. That is so wrong, and I
am going to prove it to you.
I want you to check in the past week or month, something that
triggered you a lot. It could be your boss, someone at work, a client, or
your partner. Pick a situation where you got very angry, upset,
frustrated, etc.
Now replay that situation in your mind and grab a pen and paper to
write some things down.

How did it make you feel? Try to connect with your emotions, it might
not be easy.

Why did you feel this way? Explore the story that is playing in your
mind.
Example: “This person made me feel angry, I felt disrespected”.
Now, try to remember if when you were a kid, someone could have
made you feel like this. Your mom, dad, a sibling… at school. You
might not remember, it is fine if that happens, but at least try.

Many times, we replay a situation from our past today. As I mentioned

about the mind being divided into conscious mind and subconscious
mind, the subconscious mind has all our memories from childhood and
growing up.

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If, for this example, nothing came up from your past, keep searching,
or you can also find other examples.
I have seen this over and over again, where people are re-living their
unresolved past memories. Why does that happen?

Because as the mind is feeling the burden from that memory, it will
bring it up to the surface as a wakeup call, for you to finally deal with it.
So, the problem is not really what is going on today, but what
happened in your past.

Some years ago, I was working with Sophie, who loved her career and
was having a hard time sitting down and studying. I have seen this in
many people I have worked with. When we started diving into her past
memories, the subconscious mind, as a little girl mom, would try to sit
down and study with her, and her mom would get very frustrated and
yell at her and call her names.

Sophie was replaying her past as she tried to sit down and study, and
she wasn’t even aware of it.

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As we started working on her subconscious mind, loved and accepted
that behavior, and understood why it was there and what it was
protecting her from, Sophie was able to start sitting down more and
studying.
She realized she was being very hard and mean towards herself now
because she wasn’t sitting down and studying. That caused the
behavior of not wanting to sit and study to persist in time.

I worked with Rebeca, who was having anger management problems.

Each time her partner did something she didn’t like, Rebeca would get
very angry. She didn’t want to do this; it had created many problems in
her relationships. Whenever this happened, she would then get angry
and beat herself up emotionally and mentally. As we went into her past
memories, we found that her mom used to act like that. So, she had
learned that this behavior was the norm. We started working on
healing and reprogramming, and Rebeca was able to start changing
that behavior.

I also worked with Charles; a marketing coach that wanted to grow his
business but was making no money. He said he wanted to make
money, he thought he deserved money, and wanted to be a millionaire.
As we started diving into her past in his subconscious mind, we found
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memories where he had to beg dad for money and later in life, dad has
screwed the family over money. So deep down, he didn’t want to be
like his dad. So, he had associated in his mind, that if he made money,
he could become his dad. He was “self-sabotaging” to protect himself.
As we re-programmed the mind, he was able to start getting clients
and making money.

That is how our past affects us all, and most are not even aware of it.
As I have mentioned many times, there are so many people out there
teaching us to just let it go, there is nothing you can do.
If your car breaks down, and a person that doesn’t really understand
about cars tells you that it is useless and to get rid of it. What would
you do?

Many people out there don’t truly understand the mind, so they have
created hacks to get around to doing the things they need the mind to
do, but as I mentioned before, they are burning their motor faster, and
eventually, something will end up giving in, mind or body.

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The Power of The Mind

The power of the mind is unimaginable… nobody really knows the real
power.
The ego tends to deny things as a protective mechanism.
So, I want to invite you to be more aware of your thoughts as you read
this book because the ego might try to get in the way.
I am going to share an exercise so that you can experience some of
the power of the mind.
I will explain the exercise here, and then I want you to go through it in
your mind. So first read all the exercise, so that you understand what it
is about, and then you will do the imagining of it.

Exercise:
We all have a main food plate / dish, that we love. What I want you to
do is imagine yourself walking into a restaurant and sitting down to get
lunch or dinner.
I want to imagine the sound around you, other people eating and
talking. The sound of the silverware against the plate, the smells of
other people’s food.
Imagine the waiter coming over and asking you for the plate you are
going to choose. You are going to tell him your favorite plate.
He walks away now…
Imagine your excitement of getting this food for you.
Now, imagine him walking back to your table with your plate.
Smell the food as the waiter places the plate on the table.

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Now grab the fork, get a piece, and take it to your mouth. Feel the
texture and taste. Is it hot, warm, or cold?
Finish the exercise here.

Did your salivary glands release saliva? Is your mouth with more saliva
than usual?
Do you feel like your stomach got ready for this meal you were
imagining?
For most people, this exercise makes their body prepare for something
that was imagined.

With this exercise, I want to show you that the mind doesn’t know the
difference between real and imagination. For the mind, you are eating
a meal.
There have been many studies on this, even with athletes visualizing
moves and improving their skills.

Later in this book, I will talk more about the mind reprogramming using
this technique of visualization. That is why I shared this with you, so
you can understand better what I will share along the book.

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Training and Reprogramming the Mind

Working with my mentor, she taught me many tools to reprogram the

mind to make lasting changes. For many years, I studied and practiced
these tools.
I have seen so many changes in my life I have decided to share these
with you.

Many years ago, I started teaching them to others, seeing big changes
in their lives to.

I created Rapid Subconscious Reprogramming, a proven system

that combines coaching, neuroscience, therapy, spirituality, inner child
connection, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. By integrating
the best practices from these fields, I have crafted a holistic approach
that addresses the underlying causes of self-limiting beliefs and
empowers individuals to break free from their constraints.

In the next part of the book, I will start sharing many of these tools, so
you can start practicing them, and see the changes they will bring.

You need to understand that to reprogram your subconscious mind,

FIRST you need to know what is in there. It is very difficult to remove
old programs if you don’t know they are there, so first you need to
identify and acknowledge the programs (false, negative, or limiting
beliefs).

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The second step is to love and accept this, remember it is a program
that was created to protect you. Most people tend to deny what they
find in their subconscious mind because they do not know how to deal
with it or don’t like what they find.
Your subconscious mind does not like change, so it will do everything
in its power to try to prevent you from making changes.
By now you should be asking yourself, “ok, so how do I do this?”.

You need to work on developing unconditional love and

acceptance to work towards practicing self-awareness and
emotional intelligence.

What is Unconditional Love?

Loving without conditions. I know it sounds basic, but if you have a
negative behavior, unconditional love would be, loving the part of you
that created that behavior.

What is Self-Awareness?
Having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths,
weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivations, and emotions.
It involves being aware of different aspects of yourself, including
behaviors and feelings, to be able to discover your limiting, negative
and false beliefs.

What is emotional intelligence?

The capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions, discern
between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional

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information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust
emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal.
You must be open-minded and true to yourself to be able to work on
effectively reprogramming your subconscious mind, there is no other
way.
Self-awareness and emotional intelligence are used to get to know
yourself on a deeper level, identify your limiting, negative, and false
beliefs, and start working on getting rid of them.

What makes you lose focus, and clarity, gets you stuck, feeling,
overwhelmed, powerless, demotivated, stressed, or burnt out is a lack
of love, acceptance, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence.
You need to start acknowledging your feelings, the positive and the
negative ones. Ignoring your feelings will cause high levels of anxiety,
stress, and a negative mindset.

One of the biggest things you were taught incorrectly is how to deal
with your negative feelings. We were taught to shut them down, ignore
them, push through, or push harder… We treat ourselves with
authoritarianism, which resonates because it is similar to how we were
raised. Many people go from pushing themselves to do things, to then
go to rebellion and permissiveness.

Example. You push yourself to go on a diet. You stay on a diet for

several days, till suddenly you find yourself eating junk food for the
next couple of days, and the diet goes down the drain. People go from
authoritarianism to permissiveness. We need to learn to be in the
middle, love.

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Remember, our negative feelings have a reason to be there, so you
need to understand why. Accept them.
You will need a notepad to start writing the negative feelings, trying to
identify why they are there. LEARN from them, they show up because
of unresolved issues from your past. Do not deny them… it is ok to feel
what you are feeling, whatever it is.

Whatever you are struggling with today, it has to do with your mind.

All struggles are growing opportunities in disguise.

If you do not change that belief system, it will be very difficult to do

whatever we're trying to do. Your mind will keep you stuck.

What I will teach you, will work whether you are struggling in
relationships, with your job, business, financially, or any area of your
life.

These are the 5 steps I have developed with rapid subconscious

reprogramming:
Identify – Acknowledge – Accept – Learn – Reprogram

Imagine you are feeling stressed out because you have many things to
do.

Belief >>>> Emotion >>>> Habit / Behavior

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You already did the first steps, identify, and acknowledge the stress.
Then you need to accept it. DON’T deny it… Don’t try to explain why
you should NOT feel stress rationally. Now, work on identifying the
negative emotions.
Example. You want to ask your boss for a raise.
When you start getting ready to go talk to him/her you start feeling how
your heart is racing, your hands start getting sweaty, and you start
feeling extremely nervous.
You cannot say a word… you feel very little motivation, and you stop
trying to do it.

This could be because deep down, you doubt you deserve that, or you
are afraid your boss could get angry at you. Your self-doubt programs
in your subconscious mind are executed, and you freeze.

Most people choose amongst these two possibilities:

1) Push harder / force themselves to do it.
2) They do not do it.

Neither of these is good; Option 1 is bad for you, and Option 2 is bad
for your goals. Most people do not understand why option 1 is not good
for them.

When you push / force yourself, you are disconnecting from a part of
yourself, the scared part. So, it is not that you are changing your belief
system, you are forcing hacking the belief system to do something it
does not want to. When you do that, you are causing a disconnection
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within yourself, you are not reprogramming the subconscious mind, the
belief is still there, you just covered the problem.

Imagine I have pain in my ankle. And I decided to ignore it and keep

running. It might hurt more for a while, but eventually, it stops hurting. It
did not stop hurting because it was healed, maybe it stopped hurting
because I got used to the pain. Yes, that has been the way most
people have achieved many things in their lives, but eventually, the
problem explodes down the road.

In this book, I want to share another option that many people out there
do not even know exists. The 3rd option is, as I mentioned before, to
connect at a deeper level with yourself. Be open to love and accept
that part of you that is struggling.
I believe we are here to evolve, to become a greater version of
ourselves. So, the universe will bring challenges your way, to let go of
your old self (false self) and let your true self emerge.
The idea is to connect with yourself, to bring love, not disconnect as
most people out there are doing.

Using the belief, emotion, and habit formula, you can work on
recognizing what is going on.
You are not asking for a raise…
Ask yourself why? There is a “valid” reason in your subconscious mind,
that is making you get stuck.
You can practice a very simple exercise to help you start going deeper.
This can be applied anytime during the day and can help you connect
with yourself. Be aware of your breathing, become more conscious,

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feel the air coming in and out. This simple exercise can help you start
regulating your emotions and open to feeling them.
Start by asking, “How do I feel?”. Under the superficial problem
(anxiety, depression, procrastination) there is an emotion… it could be
fear… sadness… anger…

Feel that emotion, allow it to be there. Practice loving her, she has a lot
to teach you... Find a way to express it, talking about it, feeling it, if it's
anger yelling, etc. The emotion must be felt in order to be released so
that it does not continue to affect us in a negative way.

You can also ask yourself “Where in the body can I feel this emotion?”
Many emotions get stuck in the body. It can be in the stomach, in the
neck, intestines. Feeling it and trying to find where in the body it may
be stuck helps a lot. Many people have disconnected from their own
body, and they don't realize it. It may not be easy, but with practice it
can get easier.

At this point, MOST gurus are teaching you: “You should not feel
this…” “You should not let this affect you” and many other BS things.
You need to learn from that. There is a past experience that created
the negative beliefs and negative emotions. So, you need to learn from
it.
Remember, the subconscious mind is trying to protect you.
It is not the bad guy, it has created negative scripts / narratives
(programs) in your past, that make you see situations in a specific way.

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So then ask yourself: “Why do I feel this?” Explore, be open to
learning, and try not to judge yourself. Find the story behind the
emotion, there is always one. It might not come up right away, but it is
there.
Once you have that, you can go to the next question. “How does this
make me feel about myself?” Identify the false beliefs. It could be not
good enough, not valued, inadequate, not lovable, etc.

Then, ask yourself, “Where did I learn this in the past?”.

Let your mind bring a memory from your past where you felt in a
similar way, and where the belief was created. It might take time and
practice for the mind to open up.
As the mind brings that memory, imagine yourself walking into this
scene, yes, your adult self.
Remember, the mind is so powerful that it can now imagine your adult
version there in this scene, and the new interaction will be a new
memory.
Introduce yourself that younger self. Tell him/her: “I am you, grown up.
Sorry I couldn’t come before, I didn’t know how to.”

Now, ask your younger self the same questions, be open, no judgment
or criticism. Your need to be open to learn, if not, this won’t work.
1. “How do you feel?”
2. “Why do you feel this?”
3. “How does this make you feel about yourself?”

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You need to get as much information as you can of what happened, so
that you can then identify the false beliefs, and change them into the
higher truth.

Example of a past memory.

Maybe when you were a kid, you said something at school and kids
made fun of you. So, you felt angry, sad, etc.
Then the mind put this information together, “If I put myself out there
people will laugh, judge and criticize me”. This becomes part of your
belief system. A script in the back of your head.
As a protection mechanism, it will prevent you from getting out there
again.
The mind will not tell you, “I am scared of being out there”. It will trick
you to procrastinate getting out there, do other “more important” things,
so you don’t expose yourself. Your mind is trying to protect you and
doesn’t want to reveal the problem.

Since the mind does not have time, for the mind that episode may be
happening now, at this moment. The mind is confused, but denying it is
not going to help.
A while ago I traveled to the United States to visit my family. When I
was there, my brother was doing some things and asked me to drive
his car. Obviously, at 45 years old, I told him yes, there was no
problem. The moment I got behind the wheel, I started to feel very
anxious, nervous. A wave of fear overwhelmed me… fear of crashing
and destroying my brother's car. For a moment I didn't understand
what was happening to me.

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When I could, I put into practice this exercise that I share with you.
When I began to accept and love what I was, I did not deny it, my mind
showed me the situation from the past that was producing this
emotional state today. In 2001, I had gone to live in the United States
and went to visit my family. My aunt had lent me her car, and while I
was driving, a person who was driving drunk passed me and we
crashed. Even though I wasn't going very fast, I destroyed my aunt's
car. Since it was the company car, she didn't know they would give her
another one. So for several weeks we didn't know what was going to
happen. This was very traumatizing and stressful for me. Since I had
never resolved it, I had not released the negative emotions at that time
because I did not know how, it reappeared years later.
If you notice the connection, me visiting family in the United States,
driving a car that was not mine. The mind constantly makes
associations, it can be a place, people, colors, smells... anything can
activate a memory from the past and relive a situation as if it were
happening now. So, if it is happening to your mind, the best thing you
can do is help it process in a better and healthier way. It's like taking a
time machine and traveling back in time to be with that part of you. We
fuse the adult version of you with that smaller version of you.

Having said all this, the idea is that you help the mind understand what
is happening. As an adult, you're going to imagine watching a younger
version of yourself going through a difficult situation. In this way we
begin to help the mind process this past situation in a healthier and
more positive way.

It's time for you, as a loving adult, to love and accept that there is a
part of you that has valid reasons for feeling this way. If we lack the

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loving adult, this work will not have much effect. We must stop in our
loving adult.

Now, imagine yourself entering this memory of the past. Imagine

interacting with that part of you, ask questions, find out what's going
on. It is very important to identify limiting beliefs, partial truth.
Then, you'll tell that part of you that they have valid reasons for feeling
that way. What that little boy experienced was real to him/her.

Tell them again that you understand how they feel... (fill in the blanks
with what that party said). Try to really connect with that part, love and
accept what they are experiencing. Once you feel a little better, you
can move on to the next step.
Now, explain to that part of yourself what really happened. Try to
connect with a higher and more loving truth, the infinite wisdom of the
universe, God, etc.

For the example above, I would explain to that younger self that when
people laugh and make fun of others, it often has to do with their own
insecurities. They feel insecure, so they laugh at others to not feel so
bad.
I would seek the correct information (higher truth) to explain to that
younger self why this is really happening. It's not about forcing that part
of you to change, it's about allowing that part of you to choose to
change the story it made up, since that part understands what really
happened. You are putting together a compelling argument to HELP
that part of us see this differently. We are not looking to force change.

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Then, find areas in your life where you treat yourself in similar ways.
Acknowledge and accept that, tell your younger self that you are sorry
for doing that, and that you are learning how to change it. That he/she
doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.
As you imagine this, the mind starts getting this visualization as a new
memory, and if done correctly, you will feel a change.

The higher truth you bring should change that younger version of
yours. If you don’t feel any changes within, you might not be bringing
the correct information, some of you might not still believe you or other
parts might be in play. I have often seen other parts come up, like the
inner critic.
Keep working on this, till you start feeling something different.
These feelings could be feeling lighter, calm, relaxed, etc.

Every situation you face, that makes you feel bad, negative, stuck, is
associated with a negative program (story / memory from your past) in
your subconscious mind, a limiting, negative or false belief.
The subconscious mind will do everything possible to prevent you from
“confirming” those negative beliefs.
As I mentioned before, procrastination, being overwhelmed, high levels
of stress, anxiety, loss of focus and clarity, etc., ALL, are related to
your false belief system.
Now you understand at a deeper level why treating the symptoms is
not working for most people.

Life is a journey and will put your belief system to the test.

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You can use the challenges you face, to push yourself, numbing the
pain inside, or you can use those challenges to grow in consciousness.

By practicing love, acceptance, self-awareness + emotional

intelligence, and connecting with yourself, those challenges will bring
exponential growth in your life and business.

Behind every negative, there is a lot of wisdom.

Let’s review the steps then.

1. Identify and acknowledge that something is bothering you.
2. Love and accept what is, it is there for a valid reason.
3. Work on understanding, learning, and exploring. Find the deep
negative beliefs behind the struggle.
4. Find what is the higher truth. Address this as talking to a kid of
yours, nephew, or best friend. Practice unconditional love, and that
will bring growth and transformation.

Remember, a part of you created a behavior as a way to seek for love

or numb the pain of the lack of love.
When you love and accept the part of you that created the behavior,
you are giving that part of you exactly what that part of you needed in
the first place. That will help start changing that behavior. It will not
happen overnight; you will need to keep working on reminding that part
of you the new story. Eventually, you will see how things start to
change.

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83
The Main Roadblocks that get Most People
Stuck

Now that you understand how the mind works, we can cover the main
roadblocks that are getting most people stuck.
These are: Fear and Money.
If you do not deal with the programs (scripts / narratives) you have
around them, you will not be able to grow in your life.

I will cover these, explaining the connection with the mind, so you can
understand why so many people struggle in their lives and cannot
seem to get closer to their dreams and goals.

Money
This is one of the biggest roadblocks most people get stuck with.
Most people say: “I love money”, “I want money”, “Money is good”, etc.
But with many of the people I have worked with, when we went into the
subconscious mind to find the scripts / narratives they had, they were
shocked by what they found.

Many had “Money is bad”, “Money corrupts people”, “Money brings

problems”, etc. I have spoken with people that during their childhood
mom and dad struggled with money, lacking money or having money.
When that happens, the subconscious mind starts creating negative
narratives.

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I once worked with a Paul that was procrastinating all day, not reaching
out to get new clients. He was convincing himself that he wanted to
have a lot of money. But when we started working, he told me his
uncle had a lot of money and had screwed his family. So deep down,
Paul did not want money, because he did not want to become a bad
person. He had put together that having money could make him like
his uncle. It is amazing how the mind connects information.
When we changed those beliefs, he started taking actions and bringing
in clients. He was able to make money with his business. That is how
powerful the mind is in your favor or against you.

I used to have lots of limiting and negative beliefs around money, that
were holding me back. “Money is bad”, “People that have money are
bad people”. Each time I had money, I used to spend it and whatever I
could, traveling and then buying tons of things, many that I did not
even need.
I needed to spend the money because if I had it, I was a bad person. It
took me a while to be able to start saving money. I was making money,
but I was spending it because I felt bad about it.

A lot of people reject money at a subconscious level. They mess up

opportunities, or not take risks, can’t ask for a raise.

If you are struggling to take the actions you need, it means that most
certainly there is something in your subconscious mind that is stopping
you.

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Fear
As I mentioned before, as you move out of your comfort zone, you
enter the fear zone.
It is inevitable, you cannot miss this. So, if you are getting stuck, you
need to identify and face the fear.
Work on identifying the fear… fear of rejection, failure, success, etc.
You need to identify the exact program / narratives you have around
this, to be able to change it.
Consciously you are telling yourself you want to do something but
subconsciously, you are afraid, so as the subconscious mind has 90%
of the power, it will get you stuck so that you go back to your comfort
zone.

Use that fear (negative emotion) to go deeper, to identify the program /

narratives you have about yourself. The fear could come from different
things.

Working for over 13 years with people all around the world, the main
subconscious beliefs I have seen are: “I'm not good enough, “There is
something wrong with me” “I am inadequate”.
Other being “I don't deserve”, “I'm not worthy”, “I am not lovable”.

All these negative beliefs (programs) in your subconscious mind are

holding you back.
They stop you from doing whatever you need to do because you are
afraid, afraid of “confirming” that you are not good enough.

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If you do not feel good enough, and you take an action but then get
criticized, that will “confirm” the false belief about yourself.

So, you need to identify the exact programs you have, to then be able
to change them.

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Dealing with Stress in a more Effective Way

Everyone deals with stress. Some know how to deal with it correctly to
boost their productivity and get more things done. But most have no
idea and get stuck.
The thing is, that most people do not have the correct tools to deal with
stress, so their levels are too high, producing complications in the short
and long run.

Truth About Stress and New Studies…

Stress is a natural response of our body... it is there to protect us when

we find ourselves in an emergency or a situation we are not used to.
Like moving out of your comfort zone??? Remember?
Imagine you are going to take an exam, and you are scared. This
strong emotion causes epinephrine to be released into the
bloodstream. This leads to an increase in heart rate, muscle strength,
and glucose in the metabolism. It makes the body more alert and go
into fight or flight mode.
If you have the correct tools, you can use stress to get to a more aware
state, this is one of the things I teach.

Another important fact about stress, is that new studies have proven
that how we think about stress matters.
If you think stress is bad, it will affect you more negatively, and vice
versa.

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We must understand that stress is a normal response, and it can be
harmful when we do not know how to deal with it or think it is bad.

When you deal with stress the right way you can achieve optimal
performance.

When you feel that your stress levels are rising, the first thing you need
to do is breathe. Take 30 seconds to one minute to breathe. I will share
how to practice the STOP – ABCDE technique to determine what is
producing those high stress levels.
High-stress levels are normally a byproduct of not connecting with your
emotions and understanding what the negative script / story is going
on inside of your mind.

Use my STOP ABCDE rule...

S - Stop what you are doing.

T - Think. What are you feeling?
O - Observe what is going on, face those negative feelings.
P - practice A-B-C-D-E.

A - Airway. Sit straight, to open your airway better.

B - Breath. Take a minute or two to just breath. This will help relax.
C - Connect with yourself.
D - E detect emotions. Reflect on them. Why are you feeling this?
Where does it come from?

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Try writing down those feelings and reflect on them. Connecting with
your feelings will help you better understand what is going on and
move forward toward reducing the stress.
Most people tend to try to cover up what they are feeling, that is what
we were taught since childhood and society. And many are afraid that
the pain can be so big that they won’t be able to manage it at all.

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To Make Changes You Need to Take Full
Responsibility

This is a difficult step for most people. Why? Because we need to

understand that we are choosing our habits and behaviors, and we are
also choosing to believe what we believe. We create the
circumstances in our life, and we are co-creators with the universe.

If you believe we are spiritual beings, then we need to understand that

there is a reason why we are here. I believe it is to evolve, to become
our greatest potential. I believe many avatars came to earth to show us
the way, Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, and Ram, among some of them.

Hence, we create our life, including our emotions and beliefs. Nobody
can “make you feel” anything, you make yourself feel the way you do.
When we start understanding it is our choice, we regain our power and
can start shifting the way we feel, think, and hence, how we behave.

If someone says something that bothers you, you need to understand

that it is not what they are saying that hurts, it’s what you are telling
yourself with what the other person said.

Imagine someone says, “Tommy, you are stupid”. My normal reaction

in my mind would have been, “Oh, what did I do wrong?” and I feel
disrespected. This comes from a place of doubting myself. If I truly
believed that I am not stupid, I wouldn’t react at all to that comment.

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If someone says something about you, that you are 100% sure it is not
true, it wouldn’t affect you. So, if it affects you, it is because deep down
you think it might be true.
So again, it is not what people say, it is what you tell yourself with what
they say. It is you hurting you, nobody else.

For most people, they are not even aware of their own deep thoughts.
At a conscious level, they can say they know they are not stupid, or
they don’t care what people say… but that doesn’t matter. What
matters are your beliefs at a subconscious level. Those are the ones
that run your life, as I have explained previously in this book.

That is why, to be able to make changes, you need to first understand

that it is ALL about you, no one else.
When you are able to become 100% responsible, then you can go
deeper into understanding why you have those beliefs and work to
make changes.
The understanding will not happen until you become 100%
responsible. Without true understanding, the mind doesn’t really
change.

In most cases, the universe will bring people and situations your way to
show you exactly how you are treating yourself or what you need to
work on. You are attracting this to you as an opportunity to learn and
change, to grow and become more your true self.

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Unleashing Your Mindset – Putting It All
Together

Now that we have covered how the mind works, let us put it all
together.
Now that you understand that the struggle is the end result, and that to
make changes you need to focus on the emotions, to identify the false
belief then and change it.

You can now focus on identifying the root cause of procrastination,

overwhelm, overthinking, self-doubt, loss of clarity and focus, etc.
Let us use procrastination as an example, a lot of people struggle with
that.
Remember how habits are created, this was mentioned before.

Belief >>>> Emotion >>>> Habit / Behavior

And let’s use the tool I developed as part of the Rapid Subconscious
Reprogramming.

Identify – Acknowledge – Accept – Learn – Reprogram

For example, we can think that a negative emotion can create

procrastination.

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That negative emotion can be fear, as I mentioned, when you move
out of the comfort zone. If you need to do something that makes you
feel uncomfortable, that is being triggered by a negative belief.
Now, use the negative emotion to identify the negative belief. It takes
time and practice.

Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling fear?” / “Why is this bothering me?”.

Start writing down… journal. Be open to what comes out.
Emotions are the bridge that will help us get to the false beliefs we
need to reprogram.

Not being >>>> Fear >>>> Procrastination

good enough

Not being good enough was created in your past. Things happened
that made you create these negative beliefs.
You can now go into the subconscious mind to find those memories
from the past, where you felt not good enough. Try to go back and
understand what happened, what is the exact narrative you are telling
yourself.

Example: “If I make mistakes, people will not accept me”. If someone
has this belief, they would not be action takers, they could doubt
themselves a lot and be overthinkers. Maybe as a kid, your mom was
hard on you, and when you made mistakes, she got angry at you. As
kids, we want and NEED mom’s and dad’s love, acceptance,
recognition, etc. So, most of the time, we want to please, so as not to
be rejected.

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Whatever false belief you find, write it down and reflect on it. See what
happened back then that made you create that belief.
Once you have all the information, the details are important, you can
now start changing the negative belief into a positive one.
Imagine I tried to help my dad, and I broke something, and he got mad
at me, and told me not to help. That made me believe what I
mentioned before.

I can now see that I was just trying to help and that his rejection talks
about him, not me. That I had good intentions and that if he rejected
me, it was not because there was something wrong with me.
You can then tell yourself: “I can make mistakes. I accept myself if I
make mistakes”. “If others don’t accept me when I make mistakes, it
talks about them, not me”.

For this example, I need to reinforce to myself that making mistakes is

part of the learning and growing process.
This is how this process works.
It is not about working on yourself today, but reprogramming your
subconscious mind, by dealing with your past.

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Rapid Subconscious Reprogramming -
Exercises

I want to ask you to grab the pen and paper for this next exercise.
These next exercises are key to the next topic I will cover, to I would
encourage you to take the time to do them to the best of your ability. It
will only take between 15 to 20 minutes for the 3 exercises.
If you want to get the best of this, I recommend you stop notifications
and center all your focus here.

Exercise 1.
Write down a list of things you admire / like from others. A list of
adjectives.
Example. Leader.
Write as many as you can, the more you write, the better this exercise.
Try to get to at least 8-10 things, and then move to the next exercise.

Exercise 2.
Write down a list of things you really don’t about others. A list of
adjectives.
Example. Selfish.
Again, write as many as you can, the more you write, the better this
exercise.
Try to get to 8-10, before you move to the next exercise.

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Exercise 3.
Write down a list of the negative things people have said, in the past,
or say about you.
Write as many as you can, the more you write, the better this exercise.
Example. Hard headed.

So now check this out…

Exercise 1 explained. When you wrote the things you admire in others,
whatever you see in others, it is already within you. Yes, although you
might be going through the list and thinking that many of the things you
wrote don’t describe you… I can guarantee they do. The problem is
that you are not aware.

Example. Many times, people say they wrote order. And they tell me
“Tommy, you should see my drawers or garage”. I get it, but what in
other areas? Do you have some order at work? With your kids?
Somewhere? As we start looking around, they start seeing some
places they have some order.
The main problem is that people have been programmed to compare.
“I am not as ____”, the person they look up to. Ok, I get it, but does
that mean you lack it 100%?

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No, not at all. If you saw something in someone else, you have it too.
The great news is you can start practicing manifesting more of that
quality in different areas of your life.
If you look at the image below, you will see that the things you admire
from others are part of your core, your true self.

Exercise 2 explained. When you write the things you don’t like in
others, whatever you see in others, it is also within you. It is NOT your
core, check the image below, it is your negative self-beliefs. So,
whatever you don’t like from others, has to do with your unresolved
issues. If you dislike people who are acting selfish, there might be a
part of you that sometimes acts selfish. I know this can make people
feel uncomfortable, but that is how it works. You might be acting selfish
towards yourself, or others, and the other option, is that you had
someone in your life growing up, that caused you pain with their
selfishness. But in most cases, we have some degree of that trait. We
need to embrace that part, not fight it.

Exercise 1 Exercise 2
Positive Negative
Traits Traits

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Exercise 3 explained. When people see these negative traits, in many
cases, it has to do with going overboard with a positive trait. In my
case, most of my life, people told me I was hart headed. I didn’t like
that at all and struggled to deal with it. Some time ago, a friend of mine
told me: “I don’t think you are hardheaded; I think you are determined”.
It was an amazing AHA moment.
Yes, sometimes I could fall into hardheadedness, but most of the time
it was determination. People could not see it as a good quality, but it
has helped me get far in my life. So, check the negative things people
have said about you, or say today, and find the closest positive trait
that could be behind that. That, again, speaks about your core.

I now invite you to write the adjectives in a list, one under the other, but
in front of each adjective, write I AM.
I AM Determined.
I AM _________.
I AM _________.

This can be your list of affirmations for when you start your day. This
will help you start owning more and more these and manifesting them.

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Awakening Your Divine Essence and
Finding Your Purpose

I believe we are spiritual beings living a human experience. I believe

our potential is unimaginable. Why is it that so many are struggling so
much in their life? Because we have no idea about our true selves, as I
have shared throughout the book.
I invite you to work on identifying and getting rid of the negative self-
images, with unconditional love, discovering your true self, and that will
allow you to start recognizing your divine essence.

When we start loving and accepting what is, we start experimenting the
divine within. We are love, that is our true nature, so by practicing self-
love, even the parts that are not behaving like you would like to, you
are connecting deeper with your essence. By doing this, we awaken or
deepen our spiritual connection.

In this journey, I have discovered many of my unique gifts, that I now

share with the world. When I was a kid, I was told many times that I
was too emotional, and I started thinking it was my curse. When I
started this journey, I discovered it was a gift, it is what helps me
connect with people at a very deep level.

There is so much information out there about finding your purpose.

What is your purpose? I believe that what most people are teaching is
all wrong. Yes, I repeat this many times in my book. But I make these
bold statements, and will try to prove them, then you can draw your
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own conclusion. Most people teach that purpose is something external,
something you need to do.
We live in a world that is mostly performance-based, so they build on
that. But that is wrong, we are amazing beings just for who we are, it
doesn’t matter what we do.
So, I believe our purpose is to be who we are meant to be, and the
KEY is to pour who we are into whatever we do.
That takes a lot of pressure because so many people stress out trying
to find their purpose and go on a treasure hunt with no real treasure.

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Train and Reprogram Your Mind - Tools

Morning Routine
Here we will cover the best practices, to help keep our mindset
positive, or if it is negative, work on turning it into positive.
If you have the correct tools, you will find setting your Mindset for
success easier.

1. Breathe / Meditate. Studies have proven that by meditating, there

are positive brain changes.
It can be a guided meditation or breathing, but you will feel changes if
you start doing this every day for at least 5 / 10 minutes.
The more you practice, the more you will feel the changes.
I teach to sit straight (use the “Indian position”, sitting with legs
crossed), relax your hands on your thighs and breathe using your
abdomen. Inhale and elevate your abdomen, exhale, and lower your
abdomen. After some time “abdominal breathing” will become natural.
This increases lung capacity and helps oxygenate the blood more. As
blood is more oxygenated, the neurons oxygenate more.
While doing this concentrate on your breathing.
Thoughts will pop up, just let go and concentrate in your breathing. If
you expect not to have thoughts, that is too high of an expectation.

2. Affirmations. This helps reinforce positive things to your

unconscious mind. This is very powerful, but you need to feel what
you are doing.

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Create your own affirmation, not just copying and pasting someone
else’s. Try to feel which is for you. Just reciting affirmations will not
have the effect they would if you own them.
Examples:
- I AM confident knowing my actions today will create momentum
tomorrow, and the next day, I AM unstoppable.
- I AM free of the fear of rejection. Rejection doesn’t define me; it
means others can’t see the value I have to offer. Rejection happens
on the path to achieving success. I act without fear of rejection and
feel confident, strong-minded, and energized.
- I AM good enough to take up anybody’s time. Knowing I am good
enough makes me feel comfortable and confident.
- I AM free of the fear of mistakes and failure. Mistakes and failures
are not the end, just part of the process. They are part of the
journey towards success. I act without fear of failure and feel
excited, confident, and unstoppable.

3. Gratitude. Being thankful helps us focus on what we have, not

what we do not have. This helps keep the mindset positive.
We need to see how we are today compared to yesterday, last month,
or last year. We tend to compare with others, which sets us up for
failure.
We CANNOT compare ourselves to others, only ourselves.
See the small wins you have had yesterday, the week, the month.
Write them down.

4. Practice Self-Awareness + Emotional Intelligence. This involves

being aware of different aspects of the self, including behaviors and
feelings.

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We need to start acknowledging our feelings, the good and especially
the negative ones. We have learned to hide and cover the negative
feelings, and that causes high levels of stress and a negative mindset.
Identify – Acknowledge – Accept – Learn – Reprogram

5. Practice Acknowledging and Accepting Negative Feelings. This

can involve a lot of work, because we have been taught that
negative feelings are a menace.
You can use a notebook and start writing these negative feelings,
trying to identify why they are there. LEARN from them, they show up
because of unresolved issues from our past.
Don’t deny them… it is ok to feel what you are feeling, whatever it is.
Emotional Intelligence and Self Awareness is the new change in
paradigm.

6. Practice Forgiveness, Towards Others and Especially You. I

have worked with many people that have a hard time forgiving
other, and even themselves. This anger, hate, or any other
negative feeling will affect only themselves, not the person that
acted in a wrong way.
We have seen how the paradigm is shifting, but there are still many
people that have a hard time forgiving.
Forgiveness does not mean that we are saying that what someone did
to us is ok, we are just letting go of what happened. It is not easy; it
requires some exercise at the beginning, but this helps a lot to reduce
stress.
When we cannot forgive, we have these negative feelings inside of us,
which will stress us more.

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The same happens when we cannot forgive ourselves when we have
done something “wrong“.
We need to try to forgive others and ourselves.
We are not perfect, we are learning, and the “wrong” (not a bad thing,
but a growing experience), is part of our personal and / or professional
development.
Many of us have not had forgiving role models, that is why it is so
difficult to do. We do not know how it is done.

7. Set Goals. Set a plan for the day. Recheck weekly and monthly
plan.
Also set life goals and where you would like to be in the future.
Do not push too hard, that can lead to stress, feeling overwhelmed and
loss of clarity.
Set achievable goals… check and RE CHECK. People tend to set very
high goals and try to go for them.
Set high goals but be open-minded that they can change.
Make a Visualization Board, where you can put pictures of the goals
you would like to achieve. This will help you get closer to them.

8. Visualize Goals. Take a couple of minutes in the morning to

visualize your goals or dreams. You can get pictures of those goals,
to make it easier to visualize. Put together a Vision Board with the
pictures, that will help you visualize them more.

This morning routine will help you start working towards setting your
Mindset for success.

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Money Mindset Identification Tool
I recommend you do this exercise in a relaxed state, so that you can
focus 100% of what is coming out of your mind.
Focus on the little voices in the back of your head. Remember that the
mind will try not to reveal the false beliefs. It might take some time and
practice to be able to start identifying the negative or false beliefs.

1. Please fill out these sentences about money to uncover the beliefs
you have about your relationship with money.
+ People with money are…
+ Money makes people…
+ I’d have more money, if…
+ My parents always thought money would…
+ Money causes…
+ I’m afraid that if I had more money, I would…
+ Money is…
+ In order to have more money, I would need to…
+ I think money…
+ If I were really rich, I would…
+ My biggest fear about money…
+ To earn money you need to…

2. Circle any of your subconscious money beliefs that might be holding

you back, even if they seem unquestionably “true” (that you cannot
change) to you.

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3. Repeat this exercise daily for at least the next week. You may find
some of the deeper programs take a bit longer to come up to the
surface.

4. How was the financial situation when you were a kid? Did your mom
and dad fight over money? Did they struggle? Those things also create
limiting and false beliefs.

5. What did you discover? Are your beliefs and associations with
money those of someone who is programmed for poverty or for riches?

Remember, the subconscious mind is in protective mode, so it might

not be easy to identify the deeper beliefs. It may take time and
patience.

In the exercise above, you can now replace the word money with the
word love, success, etc. You can also make your own sentences
around rejection, failure, etc.

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General Struggles and Possible Solutions

I will list here many of the general struggles people are going through,
and then offer some insight on how to start changing this.
The explanation of each varies from person to person, but I focus on
the general rule I have found.

Procrastination
Procrastination is ALWAYS the end result.
Most people try to treat procrastination, but that is not possible.
You need to identify the root cause, to be able to overcome
procrastination.
As I mentioned before, remember:

Belief >>>> Emotion >>>> Habit / Behavior

Procrastination is a habit.
You will need to identify the emotion, and, from there, find the beliefe
to start changing it.
Want to know how to start working on that?
For this, you need to be very honest.

Ask yourself:
"What am I struggling with? Why am I not doing …… ? How do I feel
around doing ….. "
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Explore to identify the negative story. What happened during childhood
that could have created this negative story? Practice what you have
read in this book, and it will help you change the stories and your
behaviors.

Stress and Anxiety

This can be related to negative past experiences and trying to control
things that are out of your control.
It varies from person to person, but the general rule I have found is that
it has to do with that.
Stress is a normal response when we move out of our comfort zone.
The mind pictures the worst-case scenarios to prepare you for fight or
flight, trying to "protect" you.
If you have had negative past experiences, you might get stressed out
moving into unknown terrain.
Many times, stress levels spike because you are trying to control
outcomes.
You might try to control, because you have associated that negative
outcomes can define you.

Example.
If you make more money, it makes you feel good enough.
If you don't make enough money, you feel bad about yourself.
You try to control, to prevent the negative scenario from happening.

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You might be holding yourself back from trying to get a raise ar work
because if you don't get them, you will feel very bad about yourself.

It could be with dating, asking for a raise, etc.

Some people find themselves living in the future, and others in the
past. That is a behavior that people use, because they imagine that if
they could change the “bad” decision they made in the past, or obtain
something in the future, they will feel love, accepted, recognized, by
themselves.
This is why it is so important to work on identifying the story behind the
behavior, because it will help us change the negatives into positives.

Impostor Syndrome
This can be related to the emotions of fear of not being good enough
or fear of failure. Most people go through this, even experts, it is much
more common than you think. The thing is that most people do not like
talking about it.

You might feel:

You do not have enough knowledge.
That other people in the market know more than you...
Why should people hire you?
What if I cannot deliver?
I cannot charge x amount…

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To work on overcoming Impostor Syndrome, start working on
identifying your strengths.
Make a list of the things you have learned along the way.
DON'T compare yourself with others, you are unique.
What makes you UNIQUE?

What are your gifts?

Switch into learning mode...

Most people want to be experts and switch into expert mode. That
triggers the impostor syndrome because you start expecting too much
from yourself, to know everything... To be perfect.
So many people go from course to course, program to program,
waiting to have that AHA moment, that key missing information, to feel
finally good enough and take actions.
That is how your mind keeps you busy and not growing.

Loss of Clarity and Focus / Loss of Consistency

This can be related to some type of fear.
The mind tends to push towards this when the things you must do
bring back negative past experiences.
There might be a fear of repeating something from the past.
For example, I have to write a post, and I don't know what to write
about.
I feel lost and with no idea about what to write about.
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There is always something deeper that is triggering this.
Work on identifying the negative emotion behind this, so that you can
then identify the negative false belief.
Whenever you feel this, remember that the mind is trying to move you
away from that task, so as not to face the negative emotion.

Loss of Energy
This can be related to trying to control things that are out of your
control. Your energy is drained when you are pushing your limits, and
not being aware of your feelings / emotions.

Example.
I need to finish something for my work...
I try to control other people to finish their part of the work, so I can
finish everything on time. I try to control them, because if I don’t finish
on time, I will feel bad about myself. By the end of the day, I feel
exhausted... and "I don't know why".
You need to ask yourself what you are trying to control, and what is in
your control and what is not in your control.

Overwhelm
This can be related to not identifying and processing the negative
emotions. It varies from person to person, but the general rule I have
found is that it has to do with that.

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Overwhelm is a normal response when we move out of our comfort
zone. The mind pictures the worst-case scenarios to prepare you for
fight or flight, trying to "protect" you.
If you have had negative past experiences, you might get very
overwhelmed moving into unknown terrain. Many times, overwhelm
spikes because you are moving to unknown terrain, to the fear zone.

The mind is trying to protect you from confirming a false belief like "I
am not good enough" / "I am a failure". The mind creates this
overwhelm as a way to move you away from the things you need to do.

Example.
You have many things to do, but among them, you need to reach out
to more potential clients.

If you do not get clients, you feel bad about yourself. You become
overwhelmed to prevent yourself from reaching out and not getting
clients and being rejected. You might be holding yourself back from
trying to get more clients because if you do not get them, you will feel
very bad about yourself.
The fear keeps you stuck.
Although being stuck is bad, it is "worse" for the mind, to try and "fail".

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Conclusion

What is holding you back from having a successful life is yourself. Your
negative, limiting, and false beliefs created in your past, that then
produce procrastination, overwhelm, overthinking, stress, etc and so
many other things that get you stuck in your life.

As you work on identifying and reprogramming those beliefs that are

holding you back, you will start seeing amazing results.
Practice these exercises daily, be patient, and things will start
changing. You will be able to become an action-taker and keep
building a successful life.

Question your entire belief system, and get rid of what is holding you
back, so you can become more your true self.

The world needs more unconditional love and acceptance, this will
change everything.

Do this, and your life will start growing exponentially.

You got this.

Tommy – The Mind Engineer

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TOMMY WALKER
The Mind Engineer
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