Expectations for High School Essays

and Paragraph Structure

Introduction
Hook: moves away from the “attention grabber” model. The first sentence or two brings the reader from
where they are in the world outside the argument and gets them to think about the general ideas or concepts
central to (eventually) engaging with the thesis – gradually draws you into the world of the essay.

Background: for analysis – SOAPS: speaker (author, rhetor, title of work), occasion, audience, purpose,
subject. (For persuasive or expository only – the context or background required to understand why the issue
is important and what is at stake / alternatively, an anecdote that illustrates the issue’s relevance to our
lives.)

Thesis: The reader should be able to anticipate the trajectory of the essay after reading the thesis and
introduction. The thesis needs to make an arguable claim. For analysis, the thesis should go beyond
identifying what the author does or what elements are present in the text. An analysis should identify the
effect that particular choices have on the audience (ideally, the authors specific audience – if there is a
particular intended reader/listener) and the purpose of this effect (how it helps the rhetor achieve the aim of
the work). In a persuasive or expository essay, the thesis should state the argument of the piece AND
acknowledge a counterclaim to that argument OR state the “so what” of the claim – why it is
relevant/important to the reader/the world outside of the text.

Body Paragraphs
Transition: The transition moves from the idea central to the previous paragraph to the idea central to the next.
This level of writing moves away from “In addition,” “Second,” etc. The transition might double as the topic
sentence.

Topic Sentence: The topic sentence itself does not have to be the first sentence. It will provide a general
articulation of the focus of the paragraph—all other sentences should nestle under the umbrella of this
sentence.

Support: In rhetorical or literary analysis, support should come in the form of paraphrase or quotation (for
analysis, each paragraph MUST have at least one direct quotation). Each paraphrase or analysis should have
the following elements:

Context: enough that the reader will know who is speaking, what is going on, where in the text it appears:
only to the extent that is necessary to comprehend the quotation and its purpose without having read the
text or having it in front of you)
Quote or Paraphrase: always integrated into the author’s own sentence and using a strong verb (if
appropriate). Avoid weak verbs: “says” “does” “is”
Analysis: At least two separate sentences of analysis that explains what the quote does, how it does it,
and why the author chose to do it this way.
For persuasive/expository: support/evidence and analysis that states what is important about this
information.

Clincher: A concluding sentence that ties a specific conclusion reached through the evidence to a broader claim
or connects to the thesis statement of the essay. The clincher should be more specific and more robust/content
driven than the topic sentence. At this level, it should not be a paraphrase of the topic sentence and the paragraph
should not simply melt away. The clincher helps strengthen/prepare for the transition at the beginning of the next
paragraph.
Address a counter argument (argument/persuasive essays only)
There should be a point (this may be its own paragraph) where the author addresses an alternative interpretation or
counter-argument to their thesis. This counter argument should not be the easiest counter-argument to refute, but
rather the one that might readily come to the mind of an intelligent and well-informed reader.

Conclusion
Summarize main point. Extend to a call to action, connect to a pressing issue, explain relevance to historical context,
or expand beyond this isolated analysis/example/essay.

Necessary Skills
An understanding of rhetorical situation: how one manipulates their speech/writing to achieve a
particular purpose with a particular audience. They must recognize that texts do not appear in a vacuum. Their job
is not only to understand what the author is saying but why they are saying it this way.

Coherence: sentences are logically connected (sentences pose old information first and new information last –
often by using compression nouns or pronouns). Paragraphs build upon one another: you should not be able to cut
up and rearrange your paragraphs--there is a logical progression.

Diction: command of formal language, but not bombastic. They should be able to use specific verbs and technical
vocabulary in order to achieve concise and specific prose. Proper word choice and formal register should not make
the essay wordy or convoluted, but specific, complex, and direct.

Analysis: ability to recognize the affective dimension of language—that words and metaphors carry emotional
and referential meanings beyond their dictionary or literal referents. They should recognize that metaphors and
allusions add emotional power to a text through the associations we have with the objects/historical events/texts
that are being referenced. The student should also be able to go beyond individual words/rhetorical devices to
analyze how authors manipulate ethos, text structure, and syntax.

Syntax: students should be able to manipulate syntax for rhetorical effect (cumulative and loose sentences, short
sentences and simples sentences for emphasis, clauses for modification, parallel form). Essays avoid repetitive
sentence openings (sentences do not repeat subjects, effective use of introductory elements). Avoids repeating
sentence types.

Errors that I have noticed at this level

Idiomatic preposition usage (verb+preposition; Example: reminds me of, comments on) mistakes
Mistakes in complex tenses – subjunctive, verb tense consistency, switching appropriately between past and present
when talking about a text and its historical context.
Occasionally awkward syntax and diction when attempting tricky/sophisticated rhetoric.
Summary or explanation rather than analysis – we do not need to better understand WHAT the author is saying in
rhetorical analysis, but why they are saying it in that particular way and what the effect is on the audience and for
their purpose.
Sample Analysis Paragraph
In order to make the events of the holocaust more real to an audience that has never experienced them,
Elie Wiesel uses simile to make parallels between the terrible and unknowable suffering of his Jewish
community and experiences that are more familiar to his readers. Early in the book, when the Elie and his
family are still in the Jewish ghetto, his father is called away for an emergency meeting. The entire ghetto
community – understanding that their fate hung in the balance – waits anxiously to know what is being
discussed and what is to be done. Wiesel describes the courtyard outside the meeting as “turned into
something like an antechamber to an operating room” (13). While we have not all waited in a hospital
while a loved one underwent surgery, it is something that we can imagine happening to us and has
perhaps happened to those we know. This powerful use of simile helps the audience understand the
combination of dread and expectation that they must have felt, as well as their absolute powerlessness.
While we cannot fully understand what Wiesel’s community felt at this moment, we can associate it with
those things that we can understand: the fear of harm coming to those we love, the slowed time of waiting
for others to decide the fate of those closest to us, and even the faint hope that against all odds and all
evidence, there is a small chance that everything could still be okay.

Integrating Quotations
The Basics
Be meticulous & exact in the copying of your quotes. Change nothing in the original language unless
you’ve indicated that you’ve done so.
o Place quotation marks around copied words.
o A quote can be narration or dialogue. It doesn’t matter.
o Take the shortest quote necessary to make your point.
o ALL direct quotes should be CONNECTED TO YOUR WORDS with a LEAD-IN. This lead-in should
establish a CONTEXT for your quotes; in other words, you should indicate the SPEAKER (if applicable)
and SITUATION. For example, the underlined & bolded portion of the lead-in below provides
CONTEXT.
• When George tells Peter that he is locking up the nursery, Peter responds by saying, “I wouldn’t
want the nursery locked up” (14).

Citations
A citation will appear after any and all quoted material, whether it’s for literature or otherwise. The
citation tells the reader where the quote comes from.
o It will consist of at least the page number (and sometimes the author for multiple works).
o The citation of the quoted material follows the end quotation mark but precedes the end mark for the
whole sentence.
o The end mark for the sentence appears after the citation. See the example above.
o An exception occurs when the quote includes a ? or ! ; this punctuation must appear in addition to the
final end mark because it is part of the meaning of the quote.
• When Lydia remarks that the screams coming from her children’s nursery sound familiar, her
husband expresses concern: “Do they?” (14).

When writing about only one piece of literature, there is no need to include the author in the citation, as
we can assume that the reader has both read the work and noted the author. (For an essay about multiple
works, the author should be included in the citations. (Bradbury 14)
Complete Sentence Quotes
o Choose a complete sentence to quote.
o The quote will begin with a CAPITAL letter because it is a full sentence.
o Introduce your full-sentence quote with your words in one of two ways:
Formal Lead-in
Formal lead-ins are intended for complete sentence quotes only.
o Introducing the quote with a complete sentence/independent clause followed by a colon (:).
• As the aunts try to convince their nephew of the police officers’ kindness, the reader cannot help
but view the aunts as extremely misguided: “Mortimer…I don’t think [the police] would pry into
our private affairs if we asked them not to” (78).
Informal Lead-in/Blend
Your words introducing the quote will NOT be a complete sentence.
Informal lead-ins can be used for quotes that are either complete sentences or shorter than that; in other
words, use them for sentence quotes or key word/key phrase quotes.
o They will consist of a lead-in with a “launch word(s)” plus a comma OR a lead-in that transitions into
the quote with the word “that.”
• Mortimer says, “But if they found your twelve gentlemen they’d have to report it to headquarters”
(78).
• As Lydia expresses chagrin over the room’s unwillingness to change for her or George, she asserts,
“the room’s in a rut” (11).
o Sample launch words: says, asserts, thinks, believes, ponders, claims, reports, suggests, reasons,
thinks, writes, recalls, questions, expresses, denies, refutes, offers, asks (and many more).
o You should also use a comma when you introduce a quotation with phrases such as According to
Mortimer, "…” or Mortimer tells Elaine,”…”
Informal Lead-in with “that”
• Mortimer says that “The police have to pry; it’s their job” (78).
• Lydia points out that “the room’s in a rut” (11).
• The word "that" replaces the comma which would be necessary without "that" in the sentence.

Key Word/Key Phrase Quotes

Choose less than one sentence to quote—a key word or key phrase. These lend themselves best to
Blending – Your words + quoted words = 1 complete sentence.
o Blending: smoothly combining your own words with the quote to create one unified sentence
o Punctuation often won’t be necessary before the quote
• Elaine describes her aunts as “the sanest, sweetest people [she’s] ever known“ (61).
• George and Lydia point out that they have begun to feel “unnecessary” in their own house (10).
• McClean reiterates that the Hadley children are too used to “creature comforts” and that they are
too fond of “Santa Clause” (16).
o The informal Lead-in can also be a kind of “lead-out” or “split lead-in” if you rearrange your words with
the quoted material.
o In these cases, the punctuation rules for writing dialogue apply.
o Lead-out - “My advice to you is to have the whole damn room torn down,” psychologist David McClean
tells the parents (15).
o Split lead-in – “My advice to you,” psychologist David McClean tells the parents, “is to have the whole
damn room torn down” (15).

Special Punctuation for Quotations

o Ellipses (…) may be used to indicate an interruption in the quotation.
• Original – Martha says, “Mortimer, we know the police better than you do. I don’t think they’d pry
into our private affairs if we asked them not to” (78).
 • Ellipted for essay – Martha says, “Mortimer…I don’t think they’d pry into our private affairs if we
asked them not to” (78).
No ellipses are necessary for short key phrase quotes or for key words.
Do not use ellipses to indicate that you have left out the beginning of a sentence; only missing words
from the end or somewhere in the middle of a sentence need to be indicated with ellipses. The same
applies to eliminated sentences in between other (parts of) sentences.

o Brackets ([ ]) may be used to indicate a small change in the quote (in order to make the quote
grammatically correct and clear, not to change meaning.)
• Original – Elaine says to Mortimer ,“Look at your aunts—they’re Brewsters, aren’t they?—and the
sanest, sweetest people I’ve ever known” (61).
• Ellipses added for essay – Elaine wants Mortimer to see that his aunts are “the sanest, sweetest
people [she’s] ever known“ (61).

o Single Quotation Mark ‘like this.’ Dialogue requires single quotation marks inside the double ONLY
WHEN BOTH NARRATION AND DIALOGUE appear in your chosen text. Avoid this if you can. Instead,
have your lead in clarify the speaker of the dialogue/quote.
• Dr. Smeltzer reported, “My honors English class loved the essay assignment. They called it
‘thrilling and edifying.’”

SANDWICH YOUR QUOTE - Explanation, Commentary

Step 1 – Provide a context for your quote when you lead into it – see above.
Step 2 – The quote itself
Step 3 - All quotes need EXPLANATION and/or COMMENTARY following the quote.
Analyze/explain/interpret the quote commenting on the importance/significance of the quote as it relates
to the broader point you are making. How might it support your overall thesis? This is your commentary
and it is MANDATORY!
See following commentary in bold:
The lottery is primitive, superstitious, and perhaps pagan. Although its meaning is forgotten on one
level, its connection with fertility rituals is suggested in Old Man Warner's repetition of the saying
"Lottery in June, corn be here soon" (705). Its use of a simple rhyme scheme that is centered
around a cause and effect implies the outcome of the lottery will be a crop. Blood begets life in
the form of food.

SPIES
Use the acronym SPIES: SIGNIFICANCE, PURPOSE, IMPORTANCE, EFFECT, or SUGGESTION. Using these
trigger words should help you create meaningful commentary.
Do NOT simply paraphrase the quote in your commentary. You should EXPLAIN why you put it in there.
What does it show? How does it support your thesis? Why is it significant?