Aarya Nakka

Candidate Number: 0003

Grade: 10
School code: IN656
Assignment number 1 Draft-1: Argumentative Writing

Statement of intent- The subject of space travel and colonization has always intrigued me. When I came
upon this article on our accused inability to live in space, it did challenge my principles. Thus, I shall be
writing a counter argument in the form of a speech as Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX. Elon Musk is an
ideal choice due to his wide reach to an audience and his mission to make humanity multiplanetary.

Title- Speech on Space colonisation

Good morning, I assembled this press conference today to take a moment and address an article by
Scientific American that cast doubt upon the grand endeavor of space travel. The article sheds light on
the inability of the human anatomy to survive in the merciless void of space and spending money on
space travel is not economically viable. Sarah Scoles, the writer, talks about how spending on interstellar
expeditions has an enormous opportunity cost and impact of a government's funds. Sarah additionally
raises ethical considerations about allocating a great magnitude of resources for space travel as a means
of escaping the problems here on Earth.

Firstly, Let's talk about the toll on the human condition and its endurance towards the brutal and hard
nature of space. It cannot be denied that radiation from cosmic rays is definitely considered deleterious
and cancer causing when it makes contact with the human skin. However, that is quite simply an
engineering problem rather than biological when it is looked upon with respect to space travel. At
spaceX we don't shy away from challenges. We face them head on, because innovation thrives best
under pressure. Spacecrafts like SpaceX Starship are reinforced with a deployed electromagnetic
radiation deflector shield that neutralizes and directs threatening radiation away from the crew on board.
Aarya Nakka

Candidate Number: 0003

Grade: 10
School code: IN656
Assignment number 1 Draft-1: Argumentative Writing

Other prominent physiological forms include the damage to the immune system, poor vision, and the
loss of bone and muscle density. These obstacles may seem insurmountable, but so is the human spirit!
We stand on the precipice of medical revolution. Utilizing advancements such as gene editing and
personalized medicine have the potential to prevail against immune aging in space which is not only
far-reaching in terms of space travel but also poses a solution for the aging population. Vision problems
could effortlessly be combatted through enhanced eye protection and refined treatment for sustaining a
healthy ocular health in space. Bones and muscles may be adapted to function well on Earth, but like
steel forged in fire, they carry the prospect of growing stronger through adversity!

There has already been a substantial growth in performing exercises under microgravity which have
resulted in a reduction in muscle loss. The burgeoning of potent equipment and customisable exercise
regimes for astronauts will utterly exterminate this issue. These complications may be challenging,
critical and inconclusive, nonetheless we shall rise above the challenge, rise against the decay, rise
against the impossibilities. We rise and push forward because that is who we are. We are pathfinders!

Secondly, I would like to implore the topic of the economic viability of the execution of space
exploration and ultimately colonisation. I completely disagree with the argument stating that spending
funds on space travel has a massive opportunity cost because it clearly only considers the near sighted
consequences of investing in space exploration. What we must collectively realise is that Earth may be
the home we were born on, although it does not necessarily have to be the land on which we impotently
die. From frequent natural disasters to climate change and soil infertility it can be concluded that Earth
would not remain habitable forever. SpaceX has dedicatedly been working on making space travel
cheaper and more cost effective by demonstrating the reusable rocket technology bringing cost down to
$60 million to a launch from $300 million.
Aarya Nakka

Candidate Number: 0003

Grade: 10
School code: IN656
Assignment number 1 Draft-1: Argumentative Writing

As we are on the topic Let's also face the allegations about being aided by government contracts and
wasting the taxpayers money. Well, it isn't an absolutely unknown fact that SpaceX is supported by
contracts from the government. But those funds are being spent to advance critical technologies, create
thousands of high-paying jobs, and maintain U.S. leadership in space exploration.

Lastly I would like to communicate my thoughts on the ethical and philosophical question brought up
upon by James Green and other writers. James simply questions the purpose of space exploration and
what benefit it serves to humanity as a whole. Why reach for the stars while so many on the planet are
still living in darkness? What I humbly believe is that us voyaging into the deep vacuum of space and
uncovering mysteries and locating new homes acts as a testament to our nature as members of the
human race. We were destined to be explorers ever since we came into existence from apes to the
neanderthals to the modern day humans. The quality that still remains deeply rooted with us is the
curiosity and courage to sail way past the horizon and convert unknowns to knowns. And then there’s
the most sobering question: Should we send people at all? The risks are not just high—they’re
astronomical. Space is no sanctuary; it’s a predator waiting to pounce. But I must ask you this: Is this the
first predator we have ever gazed upon? Is this the first call for battle we have heard? Or is it the first
time mankind has been faced with a challenge? I say with the synchronization of efforts and with
portrayal of the most strictest form of unity there is no predator that can not be slain, no battle that can't
be won and no challenge that can't be overcome!
Aarya Nakka

Candidate Number: 0003

Grade: 10
School code: IN656
Assignment number 1 Draft-1: Argumentative Writing

To conclude, I shall declare that Space exploration is not a mere form of escapism, but it frankly is
transcendence. Interstellar travel is not a retreat but a tribute to humanity’s unyielding essence. Earth
provided us with the exquisite gift of life, what also consisted in that gift were the principles of
ambition, curiosity and courage which are now deeply embedded in our souls. This planet will always be
our home, but it is not our prison! Humanity was born on Earth—but we are meant for the stars.
Feedback-

Your essay demonstrates a strong organizational structure with a clear introduction, body, and
conclusion. You effectively set the stage for the discussion by referencing the Scientific American article
and outlining the main points of contention. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument,
such as the human condition in space, economic viability, and ethical considerations. There are minor
areas for improvement, such as making transitions between discussing the human condition and
economic viability smoother. Your conclusion effectively ties the arguments together, reinforcing the
central theme of humanity's destiny to explore space.

Suggestions:
To enhance the organization, consider using more varied transitional strategies to ensure smoother
transitions between paragraphs. For example, when moving from the discussion of human endurance to
economic viability, you could use a transitional phrase that highlights the connection between these two
aspects. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a strong focus on its main point without
drifting into other topics.

To enhance your evidence and elaboration, consider integrating more specific data or examples from
credible sources to support your claims. For instance, when discussing the economic viability of space
travel, you could include statistics or studies that demonstrate the long-term benefits. Additionally, aim
to balance rhetorical language with precise, factual information to maintain clarity and persuasiveness.

To improve your command of conventions, carefully proofread your essay to identify and correct
grammatical errors. Pay attention to capitalisation, punctuation, and sentence structure. Consider
breaking down complex sentences into shorter, clearer ones to enhance readability. Additionally, ensure
that your language adheres to UK English standards, particularly in terms of spelling and vocabulary.

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