Carrion
Carrion
By Isaac Byrne
I of II
Characters:
II of II
Lights up on a blank stage.
JULES
Ooof.
DEAD ONE
Fat. Out of shape.
DEAD ONE
You’re doing it wrong. That looks gross. That’s not how you should set that up. You’re
incompetent. How are you so bad at this? This would be easier if you weren’t so fat. Bad.
Inadequate. You’re dumb.
DEAD ONE
You didn’t bring anything to drink. That’s bad for digestion. You’re gonna get fatter now. Gonna
choke. Alone. Sad and Alone. Idiot. No one will love you now.
JULES
Stupid.
GOLDIE
Ack.
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DEAD TOO
You suck at this.
DEAD TOO
Terrible. Terrible. Dumb. Wrong. Bad bad. Embarrassing. Total shit.
DEAD TOO
You’re a drunk. Everyone knows it. You forgot food didn’t you? Disgusting and careless. You’re
gonna get sloppy drunk, starve, and die. Alone. Dumb and alone. Hungover and bloated. Gross.
GOLDIE
Worthless.
DEAD ONE
Don’t. You’re fat and stupid.
JULES
(Coughing with food in their mouth) Hi.
DEAD TOO
You’re a drunken slut and they’ll never love you.
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Goldie takes a drink. Dead Too makes them cough
and spill it all over themselves. Goldie is mortified.
GOLDIE
Thank you.
JULES
Would you like some food?
GOLDIE
Okay.
GOLDIE
Would you like a drink?
JULES
Thanks.
Goldie and Jules sit and eat and drink while this
happens. They have a lovely picnic together,
laughing, helping each other, gentle sweet
flirtations building between them. They do their best
to ignore Dead One and Dead Too.
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DEAD ONE
No good. No Good. No Good. No good. NOT GOOD. FAT FAT!
DEAD TOO
Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. VERY BAD. SLUT SLUT!
DEAD ONE
(Singing) Ahhhhhhhh ahhh ahhhh ahh ahhhhhhhaaaahhhh
DEAD TOO
(Singing) Ahhhhhhhh ahhh ahhhh ahh ahhhhhhhaaaahhhh
DEAD ONE
(Overlapping) DUMB. STUPID. WORTHLESS. INADEQUATE. NOT GOOD. SO DUMB.
CAN’T. BE. LOVED. CANT CHANGE. WILL DISAPPOINT. STUPID FAT.
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DEAD TOO
(Overlapping) BAD. SO BAD. VERY BAD. WORTHLESS. NOT WORTHY. UNABLE. TO.
LOVE. CANT CHANGE. WILL RUIN EVERYTHING. BROKEN SLUT.
Jules and Goldie just sit and look sadly and with
disappointment at each other.
JULES
I thought…
GOLDIE
I wanted…
JULES
No.
GOLDIE
Can’t.
JULES
(Singing) Ahhhhhhhh ahhh ahhhh ahh ahhhhhhhooooooohhhh
GOLDIE
(Singing) Ahhhhhhhh ahhh ahhhh ahh ahhhhhhhooooooohhhh
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Dead One and Dead Too stop fighting and turn
toward them.
DEAD ONE
NO! NOT ENOUGH! TOO FAT!!
DEAD TOO
NO! SO STUPID!! TOO BROKEN!!
JULES
That’s not who you are.
GOLDIE
You’re not that person.
They grab Dead One and Dead Too and drag them
back on to their blankets.
DEAD ONE
Well Shit.
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DEAD TOO
Goddammit.
JULES
Wait.
GOLDIE
Hold on.
JULES
They had a good heart. Deep down.
GOLDIE
They had such wonderful hands. They taught me so much.
JULES
(Quietly to Dead One) You didn’t mean to. But you did.
GOLDIE
(Gently to Dead Too) You hurt. But you helped too.
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They turn to face each other, covered in blood and
body parts.
End of play
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