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About the Author
Hannah Jane Thompson is a qualified meditation and mindfulness
teacher, and certified life coach, whose training is in mindfulness-
based cognitive therapy (MBCT), and the principles of Theravada
Buddhism.
She runs Breathe Like A Badass, an online personalized
meditation service helping ambitious-but-anxious women all over the
world beat stress and anxiety, calm their inner critic, do more of what
they love without burnout – and actually enjoy life.
Hannah discovered meditation herself over a decade ago, after
years of struggling with anxiety, low self-worth, bad breakups, lack of
career direction, and even less self-compassion or self-belief. It
saved her life, and now she helps others discover it too.
A Trigger Book
Published by Welbeck Balance
An imprint of Welbeck Publishing Group
20 Mortimer Street
London W1T 3JW
First published by Welbeck Balance in 2021
Copyright © Hannah Jane Thompson, 2021
Hannah Jane Thompson has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act, 1988, to be identified as the Author of this work.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owners
and the publishers.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
US eBook ISBN: 978-1-80129-038-8
UK eBook ISBN: 978-1-78956-289-7
Typeset by Lapiz Digital Services
Note/Disclaimer
Welbeck Balance encourages diversity and different viewpoints. However, all views,
thoughts, and opinions expressed in this book are the author’s own and are not necessarily
representative of Welbeck Publishing Group as an organization. All material in this book is
set out in good faith for general guidance; no liability can be accepted for loss or expense
incurred in following the information given. The author of this book has sought to be as
inclusive and sensitive as possible to people of all experiences, abilities, faiths, genders,
sexualities, ethnicities, backgrounds and beliefs. In particular, this book is not intended to
replace expert medical or psychiatric advice. It is intended for informational purposes only
and for your own personal use and guidance. It is not intended to diagnose, treat or act as a
substitute for professional medical advice. Meditation can work as a complement to therapy
and mental health treatment plans, but not as a replacement for them. Those with severe
mental health issues should approach meditation with caution; and if needed, only under
the supervision of a professional. The author is not a medical practitioner nor a licensed
therapist and professional advice should be sought if desired before embarking on any
health-related programme.
www.welbeckpublishing.com
To Oli, my rainbow in every storm.
To my parents, who always pick up the phone.
And to everyone brave enough to sit with ourselves, look inward and
choose compassion. We are all badasses.
Contents
Introduction:
What Does “Breathe Like A Badass” Even Mean?
Part One: The Basics
1 Why Should I Meditate?
(or, What’s In It for Me?)
2 Is Meditation Really for Me?
(or, These Meditation Myths are Holding you Back)
3 A How-to Guide to Beginners’ Meditation
(or, Put your Mind to It)
Part Two: Meditation in Practice
4 Meditation for Self-Compassion
(or, How to Stop Being Such a Bitch to Yourself)
5 Meditation for Anxiety
(or, How to Dial Down the Noise in your Head)
6 Working through Heartbreak and Grief
(or, Meditating when Life’s Even Tougher than Usual)
7 Meditation for Owning It
(or, Giving Fewer Shits about What Other People Think)
8 Mindful Productivity
(or, How to Get Shit Done Without Burning Out)
9 Meditation for Sleep
(or, Permanently Exhausted Pigeons)
10 Mindful Tech
(or, How to Put your Phone Down)
11 Meditation for Body Confidence
(or, How to Feel Better about the Skin You’re In)
12 Mindful Self-care
(or, Eating, Drinking and Moving Your Body a Bit)
13 Meditation for Good Sex and Relationships
(or, Safety, Solitude and Mindful Sex)
14 Mindfulness and Financial Wellbeing
(or, Money and Mindfucks)
15 Meditation for Activism and Actual Change
(or, Mindfulness in the Real World)
The End of the Beginning
Acknowledgements
Endnotes
Useful Resources
Introduction
What Does “Breathe Like A Badass” Even Mean?
“You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to
anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.”
Fiona Apple, singer-songwriter
It is bizarre that I am writing a book with the word “badass” in the title
because, for most of my life, I have not felt remotely badass. Ten
years ago, I wouldn’t have even known what it meant.
I was what I would call an “ambitious-but-anxious” woman. I was
a journalist working 9-to-5 in a central London office, with loads of
qualifications, supportive parents, and what looked like a great life.
But I was slowly suffocating under inexplicable sadness, anxiety,
depression, and what I felt was shameful misery; with a negative and
bitchy inner critic running the show, and a feeling that my life was
happening somewhere else without me.
I knew I had potential, and had always worked hard. I knew I
wanted a happy, big, juicy, successful life. I knew I wanted my career
to be meaningful. I knew there had to be more to existence than
feeling totally stuck in my job – unproductive, unfulfilled, numb,
constantly second-guessing myself and feeling miserable AF – but I
didn’t know how to even begin to calm the swirling anxiety inside my
mind. I’d worked for years for the life I had. I told myself this was just
“how it was” – I just needed to cope better. And I was utterly
ashamed for having such a privileged life, and still hating it.
Growing up, I’d believed that when things get tough, you should
get tougher. Try harder. Sleep less. “Get your shit together!”, my
brain shouted at me a thousand times a day. Like so many
ambitious, high-achieving people, throughout my life I’d believed that
if I was harsher to myself – stayed at my desk a little longer, forced
myself to keep going, ignored my feelings, suppressed the real me,
and tried to mould myself into who I thought I “should be” – or who
someone else told me I “should be” – that somehow, I’d succeed...
whatever that meant.
So I stayed small, stuck, jealous, bitter, anxious, scared, full of
self-doubt and pain and excuses, getting nowhere fast. And when it
got really bad, I thought I should just have a G&T or some chocolate,
have a laugh, and lighten up. After all, we can’t all be happy, all the
time, can we? That was it. That was the extent of my emotional
education. And it worked – until it didn’t.
A life problem
I never had a drinking problem. But I did have a life problem.
Depression, anxiety, panic, zero ability to cope with anything. I cried
on trains, got stupid stuff wrong at work, isolated myself from friends,
avoided mirrors in case I saw my own reflection, and fantasized
about maybe accidentally-on-purpose getting hit by a London bus so
I wouldn’t have to live inside my own brain for a single day longer.
I woke up crying every day, and felt like I was failing at
everything. I even developed this weird image of a terrifying black
whirlpool in my head. I didn’t know how to stop it. And I knew I was
privileged. So I reckoned the problem had to be with me.
I vividly recall standing on the platform of the District Line at
Victoria Underground Station, feeling the raised concrete dots
beneath my feet, my eyes transfixed by the yellow MIND THE GAP
writing at the edge of the platform, unable to muster the conviction to
jump in front of the train. I was so devoid of compassion for myself
that I didn’t think I deserved to die. I was too boring, stupid, lazy and
predictable for that. It would just annoy everyone, and I’d probably
fuck it up anyway. Maybe that’s a sign that I hadn’t yet hit “rock
bottom”. But it felt pretty damn low to me.
And if any of that sounds remotely familiar – from low-level
anxiety to full-blown depression – know this: You’re not alone, and
there is hope. I know there is, because on one random grey evening,
I saw an article poking out from one of my then-flatmate’s piles of
magazines. As I remember it, the headline said: “Think yourself
happy.”
I was sceptical, but something sparked in my brain. I thought
thinking too much was my problem. But this article said you could
actually use thinking to help yourself. What? Doubtfully, I read the
interview with this bald dude, a former Buddhist monk, about his
little-known London-based meditation app and events company,
Headspace. (Headspace is now a multimillion-dollar behemoth, with
more than 65 million downloads. But it wasn’t then.) The article
changed my life. Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t deserve to feel so
utterly crap, and could question that negative inner voice. Maybe I
could stop the swirling black whirlpool in my head. I learned I wasn’t
alone in feeling like this. The big questions I was struggling with had
answers.
Not to be dramatic, but meditation saved my life. Of course, it
wasn’t instant. It took years of unravelling and unlearning, of trying
again and again to be kinder to myself. The process is still
happening. But through the principles of mindfulness and meditation,
my life has transformed. I’ve learned to manage my feelings gently,
to be aware of them without masking them, to find calm and focus
even when anxiety and depression loom. I have rewired my brain so
it no longer says, “I can’t, I’m not good enough!” and instead asks,
“Why not me?”.
In so many ways, we are what we think. If we can change the
way we think and react – from negative and critical to purposeful and
positive – we can transform our own lives, breath by breath. This
book is all about how helping you to do that – to build a life that feels
transformative, purposeful and positive.
Fast-forward to now. I’m a certified mindfulness meditation
teacher, and specialize in helping high-achieving, ambitious women
– just like I was – to beat anxiety, stress and burnout. I work with
them to calm their inner critic, balance work and rest, and build
mindful success, so that they too can be successful and happy,
whatever that means to them.
I now know that taking care of your mental and emotional health
is the key to success, whether you’re trying to start your own
business – to go freelance or set up that side hustle – get promoted,
leave a bad job or relationship, find a brilliant job or relationship,
make more money than you believe possible, or simply want to wake
up feeling a bit less shit and anxious – and happier and more
confident in your own skin. And I’m here to help you do just that. I
call this process “transforming your inner voice from bitch to badass”,
