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Guided Math in Action
Dr. Nicki Newton has been an educator for over 30 years, working both nationally
and internationally with students of all ages. She has worked on developing Math
Workshop and Guided Math Institutes around the country; visit her website at
www.drnickinewton.com. She is also an avid blogger (www.guidedmath.wordpress.
com), tweeter (@drnickimath), and pinner (www.pinterest.com/drnicki7).
Also Available from Dr. Nicki Newton
(www.routledge.com/eyeoneducation)
The templates listed below are also available as free downloadable PDFs, so you
can easily print them for your own use. They can be found on the book’s product
page on our website, www.routledge.com/9780367245740. Click on the “Support
Material” link to access the free downloads.
and by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, OX14 4RN
The right of Nicki Newton to be identifed as author of this work has been asserted
by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act 1988.
DOI: 10.4324/9780429283253
Typeset in Palatino
by Apex CoVantage, LLC
Contents
6 Kidwatching ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 59
◆ vii
Foreword for Guided
Math Second Edition
In 2013 while attending a math conference, I hung on every word of the keynote
speaker, Dr. Nicki Newton. I had never met her before, but I remember think-
ing immediately that knowing her would change me. I had never heard anyone
so well versed in educational research and so capable of making it accessible to
teachers. She spouted off researchers and studies effortlessly from memory and
easily connected them to classroom practice. What? Who does that? Dr. Nicki
does, and she does it effortlessly. As she shared ideas from her book, Guided Math
in Action, I knew that I had to have that book. I had to read it and I had to know
it. I had to bring it to life in my classrooms and in my district. That encounter
changed my life and my professional practice forever. Since then, it has changed
the experience of math instruction for countless schools, teachers, and students
across the country.
When I got my copy of Guided Math in Action, I devoured it. Dr. Nicki’s passion
was inspiring, and her words leapt off the page. It was evident that her ideas were
grounded in best practices and driven by a genuine desire to help teachers meet
the needs of all learners. As I read, I knew that what I was learning would serve as a
lever to achieve equity in math class long before it became en vogue. The idea was
to focus on what students could do and go from there to guide them through the
learning trajectory. It was a way to actualize Vygotsky’s zone of proximal develop-
ment. It was about making informed instructional decisions based on evidence of
student learning. It was about teachers knowing the math and how to teach it for
understanding. It was about creating safe spaces for students to think, wonder,
make connections, solve problems, and build competency in the fve strands of
math profciency. It was about providing a road map to give students mathemati-
cal power by focusing on agency, ownership, independence, and self-refection. It
was practically perfect in every way and I wanted to see it grow.
After developing a graduate course where Guided Math in Action served as
the text, I saw the model expand to many districts in my state. As more teachers
were implementing Math Workshop and Guided Math, the transformations were
incredible. Over time, I observed how teachers refned their practice and how they
made Guided Math work in their classrooms. Among their innovations were uti-
lizing menus in lieu of station rotations, shifting from “I Can” statements to “I Am
Learning” statements, and leveraging technology to capture student thinking and
make data immediately actionable. I also noticed some trends in the questions that
emerged as they dove deeper into differentiation, personalization, and progress
monitoring. Typically, questions focused on the same areas: collecting useful data
during guided math lessons, forming and managing groups (which change fre-
quently), skillful questioning, and overall planning and provisioning.
viii ◆
The second edition of Guided Math in Action brings us the answers to these ques-
tions and more! Dr. Nicki has gone back to the research to help ensure that our
efforts to implement this model yield high returns for all students. She debunks
the misconception that Guided Math involves the creation of “low,” “middle,” and
“high” groups, and she provides even more evidence of the power we have to use
this model as a lever for equity. She updates and refreshes our well-loved chapters,
and brings us new chapters that provide illustrative examples, address our burn-
ing questions, and offer clarity in areas where we need it most. She highlights the
importance and power of kidwatching, reminds us to value the whole child, and
examines the danger of placing labels on students. In short, she elevates her previ-
ous work by once again bringing us the research and best practices in practical,
accessible terms.
Guided Math in Action 2nd Edition is what we need to take our work to the
next level. It is flled with helpful tools, examples, and anecdotes from the many
classrooms that Dr. Nicki has visited. It is refective of the growth of her vision,
experience, and research and is truly a signifcant extension of the original. It is a
testament to her commitment to continuous learning. It has everything we loved
about the frst edition, everything we were waiting to learn, and things we may
not have thought about but will be thrilled to know! The second edition provides
an even clearer roadmap to develop, grow, and sustain a robust, effective, support-
ive, and productive math environment. Through her work, Dr. Nicki has left an
indelible impact, one that will infuence generations of learners and practitioners.
For some, this book will be the beginning of an incredible journey. For others, it
will be the springboard to enhance and refne what they have already built. For all
of us, this book further affrms the value of meeting with students in small groups,
knowing their strengths as learners, and nurturing their mathematical power by
offering them a learning environment that allows them to reach their full potential.
Dr. Alison Mello
There are ffteen boys and seventeen girls. There are a variety of students, from different
socio-economic backgrounds, different countries, different frst languages, different schooling
experiences, and different attitudes about school. Some of them were born in the U.S. and
others were not. Some of them have been to school since pre-K, and some have never been to a
formal school before. Some are working on grade level and others are just beginning to learn
basic concepts. Some come from single-parent homes and others come from two-parent homes.
Some have parents who are married, and others have parents who are divorced. Some are foster
children. Some have parents that are in jail. Some are homeless. This is a typical class in a
large urban city. While a few of the students have formal IEPs, a few others have undiagnosed
learning disabilities.
The students are talkative, inquisitive, and full of wonder. This diverse group of
learners need an environment where they can all learn and reach grade-level stand-
ards. But this is no one-size-fts-all situation. Most of the children are the same age,
but a few are repeating the grade and a few more were held back, and so some
students are older than others in the class. The teacher wants to teach everyone.
Guided Math—working with students in small, fexible, temporary groups—can
help the teacher reach that goal. Guided Math gives us the opportunity to teach
diverse students in their zone of proximal development, reaching toward high
standards for all. In rural areas, there might not be as many students from differ-
ent countries and different language backgrounds, but there is still a tremendous
amount of diversity.
The frst edition of Guided Math in Action (Newton, 2013) discussed:
• Introduction: Lessons, Goals, Beliefs
• Numerate Environment: Math Workshop
• Managing Math Workshop: Getting Started, Rules, Consequences, and
Rewards, Routines, Anchor Charts, Schedules, Teacher Toolkit
• Forming Groups: Flexible Groups, Record Keeping
• Balanced Assessment: Pre-assessment, Ongoing, Evaluative
• Framework: Before Lesson, During, After
• Building Mathematical Profciency: Conceptual Understanding, Procedural
Fluency, Strategic Competence, Adaptive Reasoning, Mathematical
Disposition
• What Are the Other Kids Doing? Math Centers, Grouping, Types of Math
Workstations, Logistics
• The First 20 Days: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4
x ◆
The book has helped teachers think about how they assess, teach, and use action-
able data so that students become competent, confdent, fexible mathematicians.
Seven years have passed since that frst book came out. I want to add to that ongo-
ing conversation in this second edition. There are new parts of the discussion:
• Beliefs
• Five Teacher Moves
• Planning
• Talking and Questioning in Guided Math Groups
• Book Study Guide
This second edition is based on my refections, research and work with students
and teachers around the U.S. and Canada. There are many similarities between
the frst edition and the expanded second edition, because the overall instructional
strategy of Guided Math is the same. If you are familiar with the frst edition of
Guided Math in Action, you may fnd the following table helpful:
Preface ◆ xi
Chapter 9 Chapter 13
First 20 Days The First 20 Days of Math Workshop:
Setting the Stage for Effective Guided
Math Groups
Not in frst edition Chapter 14
Book Study Guide
xii ◆ Preface
Meet the Author
◆ xiii
Acknowledgments
To my family To my editor
Thank you for being there for me Lauren Davis, thank you! You are the
always. Thank you for your daily best editor ever. You are patient and
support, unending love, and uplift- kind. You gently push me into new
ing cheerleading. I appreciate all of books and hold my hand along the
your love, kindness, generosity, sup- way. You advise me and support me.
port, words of encouragement, text You are an offcial member of my fan
messages, and voicemails. My cousins club, and I feel it whenever I talk to
Clinese and Tracye J., my Tia Mary and you. Thank you for believing in me,
my Tio Bill, my brother Marvin and my believing in my ideas, and believing in
sister Sharon, and my host of nieces, my books. Thank you for appreciating
nephews, and cousins, thank you! my messy, so non-linear process. No
one could ask for a better editor! You
are a superstar and I appreciate you so
very much!
To my colleagues (aka friends) both To the Routledge team
near and far It takes a team to put a book together.
I learn every day from working, talk- Thank you to the proofreaders, copyed-
ing, being, and knowing you all. Some itors, art directors, cover designer, mar-
of you are close by or just a phone call keting team, and everybody else who
away, and we talk on the phone and made this book possible. I couldn’t do
share stories, push each other’s think- it without you, and all of your help is
ing, and laugh out loud often. Others much appreciated!
I’ve met only once, at a conference: a
brief encounter that lasts a lifetime,
and short conversations that have
stuck with me. You tell me of ways I
have helped you, and I want you to
know that you too have helped me.
Stories help us grow. I’ve enjoyed the
hundreds of experiences I have had
with educators around the U.S. and
Canada.
xiv ◆
I would also like to offer a special
thanks to my dear friend Dr. Alison
Mello, who so graciously wrote the
foreword to this book. Thank you for
pushing my ideas and challenging my
thinking, and for your support through
it all. I appreciate you and cherish our
friendship.
I would also like to thank my cousin,
Jamil Lawyer for creating some phe-
nomenal illustrations for the book. He
is so kind, generous with his time, and
very creative. I appreciate him very
much.
Acknowledgments ◆ xv
1
An Introduction
Guided Math
DOI: 10.4324/9780429283253-1 ◆ 1
Teaching mathematics is about facilitating mathematical development. This means that you
cannot get all learners to the same landmarks at the same time, in the same way, any more
than you can get all toddlers to walk at the same time, in the same way! All you can do is pro-
vide a rich environment, turn your classroom into a mathematical community, and support
the development of each child in the journey toward the horizon.
(Fosnot, 2007, p. 15)
A while ago, I was working with a little boy named Lulu on some math problems. He
is up for most mathematical challenges even though he struggles a bit. He is quick and
sharp and often gets it right away, and if not, usually after a few tries. He has a founda-
tional understanding but very little automaticity. You know, those kids that know their
fves by counting up on their fngers. So, I said to him, “Get ready, Lulu, we are about
to do some tricky problems.” He looked up at me, with a broad smile and said, “My
middle name is Tricky.” I laughed out loud and said, “Well then, let’s begin.”
I think Guided Math is Tricky too. It has its ins and outs and hard-to-get-to
spaces. We have to stick with it, keep trying, and enter it with a sense of adventure.
We have to lay it out, have a plan, and follow it. And when the going gets a lit-
tle rough, we have to persist—much like we teach the children to do in our small
guided math groups.
Guided Math itself is a place where we get at the Tricky parts of math. We invite the
students to a front row seat, but as a participant, not a spectator. We want them to get
in the game, play hard, and learn lots. We invite them to talk, to show their thinking, to
question others, and to engage deeply in rich mathematical conversations. We want them
to get on friendly terms with numbers, to take risks, and to go from triumph to triumph
at that kidney-shaped table. We build mathematicians one problem at time in these small
spaces. Let’s take a look now at one of those lessons in action (see Figures 1.1–1.2).
A Guided Math Lesson in Action
Welcome to room 307. The students are in the middle of Math Workshop. Mrs. Chi has been
working with her math coach to fnd meaningful ways to engage her third graders. It is the
middle of the year and they are working on capacity. She has a diverse class of students; today
she has created a heterogenous group of students to work on learning about milliliters and liters.
Mrs. Chi wants students to do, see, and feel measurement rather than just working on a
worksheet about measurement or doing an activity with Peter Liter (Gallon Man’s cousin).
Mrs. Chi wants her students to play around with measurement in a real way. By having
An Introduction ◆ 3
Figure 1.1 Guided Math Lesson Part 1
Carl: 500 ml
Teacher: What could some possibilities for the recipe be?
Record of Thinking
1st Try 2nd Try
Checking for Teacher: Who can tell me about one of your recipes?
Understanding
4 ◆ An Introduction
Figure 1.2 Concrete Student Activity
Guided Practice/ The teacher begins to ask students questions about their
Checking for mixtures.
Understanding
Maria: First we tried mainly orange juice (400 ml)
(share) and little bit of pineapple (50 ml) and apple (50 ml).
We liked it but we wanted to try something with more
pineapple.
Set up for Teacher: What is the math that we have been working on
Independent today?
Practice
Tyler: Measurement.
Teacher: You all did great today. I like the way you
listened to each other, shared your thinking, and worked
together. We are going to continue working with the
measuring cups in the workstations and also do some
drawings. Are there any questions? Ok, if not you all
may go to your workstations.
An Introduction ◆ 5
the students do this at the guided math table, she can guide them through the activity as
they explore and discover different things about measurement.
Mrs. Chi then dismisses this group and begins to circulate around the room, where the
other children are working on differentiated, standards-based center activities. At the
frst table, there are four children working on subtraction problems with base ten blocks.
At the second table, there are six children and they are working in pairs playing a meas-
urement concentration game. They have to match the unit of measure with an item that
you would measure that unit in. At the third table, the children are working on problem
solving with manipulatives. At the fourth table, the children are working at a “hot topics
center” reviewing money. They are playing a money match card game where they match
the amount to the coins. At the ffth table, the children are playing a game where they roll
dice and round the number to the nearest ten, using the beaded number line as a support
if needed.
Mrs. Chi is walking around the room taking anecdotals on three children whom she has
chosen to observe for the day. She is getting ready to give the Big Switch Signal, where she
will play the xylophone (which is her clean-up signal), so that all the children will quickly
and quietly prepare to come to the rug to discuss their math work for the day. Mrs. Chi
makes a written note to herself that tomorrow she defnitely wants to do a math interview
with Daniel about subtracting triple-digit numbers, because she is thinking he might be
ready to move to a more challenging group.
This scenario shows the benefts of a guided math group. Mrs. Chi understands
the benefts of differentiated, targeted, standards-based practice. In this structure,
she has the fexibility to pull small groups and provide instruction at their cur-
rent level of understanding while the other students stay engaged in meaningful
practice in standards-based math centers. This lesson also reinforces the idea that
guided math small-group experiences are about the experience. It is an opportu-
nity to learn about math by doing it. It’s not a worksheet, a test, or even just a game
or perfunctory activity: “We need to reconceptualize small groups as meeting
places for thinking about, doing, refecting on, and talking about [math]” (Wright
& Hoonan, 2019, p. 3).
6 ◆ An Introduction
Figure 1.3 Benefts of Guided Math
Inspired by Fountas & Pinnell (1996), Guided Reading: Good First Teaching for All
Children.
Source: Inspired by Fountas and Pinnell (1996).
An Introduction ◆ 7
Goal of Guided Math
The goal of Guided Math is for students to become confdent, competent, and curi-
ous mathematicians. Guided Math aims to get students comfortable with numbers
and operations and mathematical concepts so that they can independently work
with them in new and different contexts independently (see Figure 1.3). Guided
Math is also a space to grow student communication so that they can listen to oth-
ers, consider ideas, refect, and engage in lively discussions.
In guided math groups, students can work on both developing content knowl-
edge (standards) and “habits of mind” and “ways of doing” math (mathematical
practices/processes). Guided Math provides “close encounters” with our students.
It allows teachers to look at the work they are doing, listen closely to what they
are thinking, and probe deeply into their inner thoughts. The proximity we have
with our students in a guided math group provides us with the chance to get up
close and personal with our students, their talk, and their work so that we can see,
hear, feel, and know what they can do and then what we need to do next (Wright
& Hoonan, 2019). Guided math groups allow us to look through the window to see
what’s next in students’ learning journeys (see Figure 1.4).
8 ◆ An Introduction
Key Points
• Goals of Guided Math
• Benefts of Guided Math
• Upgrading Guided Math
Summary
Guided Math provides a powerful opportunity for students to learn math. As
Yates reminds us, “Guided [math] is more than a level and a kidney table” (cited
in Wright & Hoonan, 2019, p. 24). In small groups, we can meet learners where
they are and take them to where they need to go. We get everyone talking within
and among themselves. We coach learning. We facilitate thinking. We orchestrate
masterful conversations. Everyone is invited to engage as thinking mathemati-
cians. We get to hear how others are doing it and also to hear ourselves make
sense of the math that we are doing. We also get immediate feedback so we can
stay on track. It is a time for students to make more and more sense of math in its
growing complexity at a pace that is appropriate for them. Guided Math is good
for all students. It allows everyone to reach their next level of learning and become
profcient in the grade-level standards.
Refection Questions
1. Currently, in your class, do all of your students feel like they can learn math?
2. What do you do with the students who are frustrated?
3. Does everyone participate in mathematical conversations? Who does, how,
and under what terms?
4. How do you promote perseverance in your classroom?
An Introduction ◆ 9
2
Beliefs That Frame
Guided Math
DOI: 10.4324/9780429283253-2 ◆ 11
If we are deliberately growing and changing as professionals, our cutting-edge beliefs are often
ahead of our practices. We grow new beliefs and then strive to live into them.
(Wright & Hoonan, 2019, p. 33)
Learning Math
The guided math lessons I discuss in this book are framed around the fve
NCTM content standards, as mentioned earlier, as well as the fve NCTM pro-
cess standards (2000). The fve content standards are Number Sense, Algebra,
Geometry, Measurement, and Data Analysis, and the fve process standards
and eight practice standards include Tools, Models, Communication, Structure,
Patterns, Precision, Connections, Reasoning, Problem Solving, and Representa-
tion (NCTM, 2000; National Governors Association Center for Best Practices
(CCSSM)). The process standards are woven throughout students’ immersion in
the content area; for example, in Number Sense, the tasks require the children
to communicate their learning, make connections with their lives, reason, solve
problems, and represent their thinking. Guided math lessons are created so that
students make meaning of their learning by engaging with the materials, work-
ing with their peers, and being guided by adults as they construct knowledge
(NCTM, 2000).
While engaging in guided math groups, students engage with the material and
therefore are better able to understand and recall what they have studied (Bruner,
1961). In guided math groups, it is important that the activities are both physically
and cognitively engaging and that the students are accountable for their learning;
it is important that they demonstrate their engagement with the material through
their math artifacts and/or through discussion (Mayer, 2004).
at its most basic level, differentiating instruction means “shaking up” what
goes on in the classroom so that students have multiple options for taking in
information, making sense of ideas, and expressing what they learn. In other
words, a differentiated classroom provides different avenues to acquiring con-
tent, to processing or making sense of ideas, and to developing products so
that each student can learn effectively.
(2001)
DOI: 10.4324/9780429283253-3 ◆ 21
Teacher moves keep students moving forward.
(Wright & Hoonan, 2019, p. 6)
In a guided math group, we grow “stronger and smarter together” (Wright &
Hoonan, 2019). Teachers must guide students as they do the math, facilitating
conversations that build understanding. This is all part of a system of learn-
ing that includes one-to-one conferences, rich workstations, and whole-group
encounters that motivate students to learn. Doing great interactive, rigorous,
standards-based math helps motivate students to want to do math. When stu-
dents want to do math, they learn to do math. Papert (n.d.) tells us that students
thrive on “hard fun.”
In guided math groups, we are trying to foster a love of mathematics. We are
creating risk-taking spaces where students can discover and construct knowledge
by taking risks that teach. So in the group, teachers have to always ask themselves,
“Am I teaching math, or am I teaching my students to become mathematicians?”
There is a big difference. We can get at these questions deeper by thinking: Is the
focus on the problem? Is the focus on the student thinking, doing, and being? Is
the small group stuck in “telling mode” (Johnston, 2004) or “answering mode”
rather than “thinking mode”?
When you sit down at the table, what is in your “teaching bag”? Do you have a
repertoire of ways and means of teaching all of your students? Do you have fex-
ible thinking about what needs to happen in that group? Do you see the students
as doers, thinkers, and discussers of math? The goal of the guided math group is to
grow our students into powerful, productive, playful, fexible, confdent, thought-
ful mathematicians. In order to effectively teach small guided math groups, you
have to have a system in place to step back and ask yourself: What is working,
what’s not working, and for whom? Who’s getting it? What are they getting? Who
is not getting it? Why?
Depending on the purpose, a small-group lesson could look like other parts of
a balanced math component, like a strategy talk, a math aloud, or even a coaching
conference. When you are planning your group, you have to ask yourself: What
are you trying to do in this lesson? What are you trying to get the students to
know about math? How much support do the students need in this lesson? Based
Planning
Data-driven planning is essential to fexible grouping. We must know who goes
where, and when. Students move around based on the data. Not all groups are
planned. Some are spontaneous. Others are student selected. Some are teacher
selected. To coordinate all these groups takes a tremendous amount of planning,
and it pays off well.
Teachers should plan for what happens before the lesson, what happens dur-
ing the lesson, and what happens after the lesson. Teachers must plan what they
will do with both predicted and unpredicted student moves. Teachers must plan
possible questions and possible answers. Teachers must anticipate confusion and
misunderstanding so that they are ready to address these when and if they come
up. Planning is the key to making it all happen.
Scaffolding provides safety and risk-taking in both building buildings and build-
ing knowledge. In math, it gives students something to hold on to, something to
use to get from one place to another, something that provides a sense of security.
RESEARCH NOTE
The average student will be unable to recall
most of the factual content of a typical lecture
within 15 minutes after the end of class. In
contrast, interests, values, and cognitive skills
are all likely to last longer, as are concepts and
knowledge that students have acquired not by
passively reading or listening to lectures but
through their own mental efforts (Bok, 2006,
pp. 48–49).
In the guided math group, teachers should be working in the student’s zone
of proximal development. Vygotsky called this “the distance between fnding
the actual developmental level as determined by independent problem solving
and the level of potential development as determined through problem solving
under adult guidance or in collaboration with capable peers” (1978, p. 86). This
is about strengths-based teaching. We want to fnd out what students can do and
then teach to the next level. Knowing learning trajectories is a great help here
(Clements & Sarama, 2009/2014). Guided Math is not about determining all the
defcits that students have and then teaching to those defcits, but rather building
on students’ strengths.
In the guided math groups the teacher is scaffolding the work so that students
have supports. Scaffolding can be tricky because you do not want to over-scaffold
or under-scaffold. You want scaffolding to be just right. Dixon (2020) also talks
about not doing the “just-in-case” scaffolding either. She writes that “When you
provide scaffolding ‘just in case’ students need it rather than ‘just in time’—i.e.,
when students demonstrate the need—you are shortchanging the learning process
Empty Memories
Seventeen months after the day when he went out for the first time,
he was killed beside his mitrailleuse.
He had been home in the meanwhile twice on leave, and there had
been nothing changed. He had won many honours, and she
supposed the other woman had been proud of him. For herself she
had seen him very little and always pleasantly. She was glad now
that it had been only pleasantly.
But it was the day of that first August, the day of his first going, that
one day, that one hour, she kept living again and again through. It
kept being present with her, curiously.
He had arrived—he had telegraphed—about four of the afternoon,
she did not know from where. He would have to leave again before
five o'clock. She knew, of course, with whom he had been. She
thought, waiting for him, what an irony that it should be like this,
after all the bitterness, he was coming back to her, and to the old
house of his people, in the street of many gardens.
She thought it would be awkward for them both. What could they
say to one another?
She wondered if it had been terrible to him to leave the other
woman. Probably the other woman was beautiful. All those women
were beautiful. She thought, perhaps that other woman loved him
and cared what happened to him.
Her two little boys were playing in the room.
The great closed rooms, to which she had brought them back
hurriedly from the seaside, fascinated them.
The bigger little one, in his sailor suit with the huge collar was
saying, "That's the old witch's cave, Toto, in the snow mountain."
The smaller one, with the curls and the Russian blouse, said, "Oh,
Zizi!"
"Yes; and, Toto, that big lump is the giant, sleeping."
"Oh, Zizi!"
Then their father came.
The little boys hung back and stared at him; they never had known
him really well.
Their mother stood up and went to meet him, across the wide room.
"You've had a horrid journey," she said.
"I've been fifty hours in the train," he answered. "Hallo, small boys,
there!"
"Toto," said Zizi, "he's going to be a soldier!"
"Oh, Zizi!" said Toto.
The bigger boy came over to his father. "I know a chap," he said,
"it's the son of a friend of mademoiselle's, whose father is dead and
cannot be a soldier."
"Poor chap," said his father.
His wife said, "Old Denis has got your things together. All the other
men-servants are gone. He has put you something to eat on the
dining-room table."
He said, "Will you come with me, do you mind? I've things to say to
you, and there is so little time."
But when they sat together at one corner of the big shining table, he
did not seem to know what to say. He tried to eat, but it seemed as
if he could not eat. He pushed the plate away and leaned his elbows
on the table and his head in his hands.
She thought she would like to do something for him, but did not
know what to do. Again she said, "It must have been dreadful in the
train."
"It was wonderful," he said. Then, sitting still with his face hidden,
he went on: "We were singing all the time. Wherever the train
stopped people gave us flowers; the whole train was full of flowers,
you know. They were most of them boys of the young classes in the
train. We sang the most absurd things—nursery rhymes, and old
cannons, 'Frères Jacques' and 'Cœur de Lise,' and those, you know.
What is the one about 'Papa Lapin'? None of us could remember the
one about 'Papa Lapin,' you know."
"I don't know," she replied. It had always annoyed her, his trick of
saying, "You know." She sat playing with something on the table.
He said again, "The whole train was full of flowers. 'Papa Lapin,'
'Papa Lapin'—how irritating, you know, when one can't remember."
He sat up suddenly erect, and said, "You'll take the boys and go
down to the old place and look after things. It has always bored you,
but after all it is for Zizi. And be good to my mother, will you, though
you don't like her—she, she remembers '70. And I've not been of
much use to her. I've not been of much use to you, nor to any one."
He stopped short.
It was odd that suddenly she, who never had thought much about
him, or felt things at all about him, should have known this thing.
She had known as she sat there with him, alone in the dining-room,
by the untouched things on the table, that he never would come
back. He was one of those who never come back.
Hospital
Often I am sad because I cannot worry enough about the 11,
Charles. I forget him even when I am in the ward. His is the bed I
see first when I look through the holes of the paint in the glass-
topped door, opposite, away at the far end of the ward. There he
has been, always, every day, through all the endless months since
the Marne, propped up against a table board and two pillows and a
sheet of black rubber. He breathes always more and more painfully,
and coughs always more and more. The fever lines on his chart
zigzag up and down, in long dreadful points. He has become very
cross and exacting. He scolds us in little feeble gasps, with little
feeble gestures. He is twenty-one years old, and has very long
eyelashes.
Yesterday when I went to say good-bye to him at the end of the day
he was crying there in his corner, quietly, all by himself. His long
eyelashes were all wet. I said, "Oh, little Charles, oh, little Charles!"
and kept saying it over and over, and had nothing else in all the
world to say. I patted his hands, that always lie both of them
together upon the strap which is fastened round the bar at the foot
of the bed, by which he is sometimes able to pull himself up.
His hands are white and thin and crooked, like the roots of things
that belong in the earth; while I patted his hands I was thinking that
they did not seem to belong in the light and air at all.
This morning I thought, "How absurd to have brought him a little
pot of cream!" A little pot of cream for a man who is dying.
Hautiquet
Hautiquet has gone back to the front. He would not let them tell me
he was going. I never saw him to say good-bye. Last night, I said,
as usual, "Bon soir, tout le monde, au revoir à demain!" And
Hautiquet said with the rest, "A demain, Madame." He left a little
package to be given to me after he was gone.
He was one of the older ones. He had been ill in the first winter with
rheumatism and pleurisy. He went back and fought all summer, and
all through the Champagne, and till Christmas. Then he got
rheumatism again, this time in his eyes. He has been nearly blind
since then, here in the hospital.
He was a clumsy peasant who never talked much. And of what he
did say I could only understand about half. I did not know that he
thought about me at all.
But in the little package he left for me there was an aluminum heart,
made out of the aluminum from a shell. Madame Marthe says he
had been nearly all the time working at it, because he had clumsy
hands and could scarcely see. He had had much trouble getting the
shape right. He had cut my initials on one side of it and his on the
other, crookedly, because he was so nearly blind.
Jean Fernand
He had curly yellow hair and big blue eyes. He got well terribly fast.
I was wishing all the time that he would take longer about it. He was
so young.
His eyes were so blue, and round, and had seen all the horrors of
the great retreat. The look of those things had stayed in his round
young blue eyes.
He told me he was afraid of going back, but that he was glad to go
because "tous les copains sont là." He said he couldn't bear to think
of them there, when he was safe out of it. "It is as if they were
fighting for me," he said, "and being wounded for me, and dying."
I don't know why I write of him in the past tense, for I have always
the most amusing letters from him, from there. He is near Verdun.
This morning I got from him a little snapshot a copain had made of
him, down on all-fours in the bottom of his trench feeding a baby pig
out of a bottle.
The New 25
He is of Morocco, brown and very lonely, and always shivering with
cold. He speaks scarcely any French. His great dark eyes look to one
with all the sadness of the eyes of animals that are dumb. Nobody
understands him. He smiles up at us, with his beautiful white teeth
and his big dumb eyes, and does not understand what we are
saying. He makes me little magic-lanterns out of orange rinds, and
tells me long stories about them, of which I understand not a word.
Once when I went back, just for an afternoon's visit to the hospital,
I was wearing a bright blue silk scarf, and he took it and held it and
cried over it, and would not give it back to me. I cannot imagine of
what it reminded him, why he cried, or why he loved it.
He has three tiny little wooden dolls, scarcely bigger than almonds
and wonderfully carved, that he never will let us touch. Madame
Marthe thinks that they are strange gods of his; but I think they
represent three children, far away, in lands where skies are blue, like
my scarf.
He is only slightly wounded; very soon he will have to unwrap
himself from my big white woollen shawl, and go away again to
battles.
And I suppose I shall never know anything more about him.
Marketing
He was standing half turned away from the others, the fat old
woman in the woollen knitted shawl and a girl with a pretty brown
bare head. He was holding a big market basket very carefully in both
hands. I thought there was something odd about the careful way he
held it and the way he stood, his head turned to one side and
hanging a bit.
The old woman and the girl were talking very much about the
cabbages, with the woman of the push-cart, also old and also
wearing a knitted woollen shawl.
In the stir and noise of the street market the way the tall broad
young soldier stood so still and silent did seem odd. And he was
holding the basket with such very great care.
There was a live white goose in the basket. It kept stretching its
long neck up over the rim of the basket and peering about, opening
and shutting its yellow bill and hissing at people.
When the old woman and the girl had finished their discussion and
selected their cabbage, they pushed the cabbage into the market
basket along with the goose, and all the time the soldier held the
basket carefully.
Then the old woman put her arm through one of his arms, and the
girl put her arm through the other. As he turned to go where they
would take him, I saw that he was blind; the wound had healed, but
it was as if his eyes were closed. He very carefully let go the basket
with one hand, and with the other hand, the girl's rather impatient
touch on his elbow, he made a salute to where he thought the
woman of the push-cart was standing, and then the old woman and
the girl led him away with the basket.
Hospital
The wards of "our" floor get always all the light there is. When there
is sunlight it all comes in and picks the dust motes up and sets them
dancing, down steep slants and ladders. When there is wind it sobs
and sings along the wards and corridors. The rain makes wide
sweeps of the great windows, and mists press very close against
them and get into the wards and drift there. When there was snow,
in these few days the rooms were all full of its whiteness. Almost it
was as if its silence were there, and its peace.
Same day
In the half dark I came home along the canal. In these nights,
coming home from the hospital, I have learned always more and
more that the canal is beautiful, curving down between its old poor
black tumbling houses, under its black bridges.
To-night the few lights of the quays and of windows fell into the
water of the canal, just odds and ends of gold.
I stopped and stood and looked.
It had been a bad day in my ward.
I thought, how beautiful ugly things are become!
Easter Day
It is wonderful that spring should come on Easter Day.
One waked—and lo, winter was over and passed. There was a
moment, in waking, of not being able to believe at all in
unhappiness.
The nightingale was singing, the sun was coming up out of the filmy
leaves of the garden, the bells of all the churches were pouring out
Easter.
The river was misty in the early morning, under the sunshine, mauve
and opal and blue. The trees of the quays, in their fragile leaf,
seemed to drift in the mist and sunshine. I could not tell if the trees
were gold or green in the Tuileries gardens. They were quite golden
against the long purple mass of the Louvre, and quite golden up the
river, where there is an especially bright blur of them under the
purple towers and gable of Notre Dame.
The Halles were full of country and spring.
My own poor ugly canal had colours and lines of spring about it; its
dingy, dark old houses were lifted into a sky so lovely that they
seemed to have become quite lovely too, and its water, under the
poor bridges, was full of gold and blue and purple and deep shining.
All the birds were singing in the great courtyards of the hospital, and
all the opening buds sang too, and the green, green grass in its
close bindings of stone.
Cordier—his face again bandaged, for he has been worse of late—
tried to tell me something. I could make out, Nouveaux, Verdun,
chez vous, très grands blessés," and then there was to open the
door upon the ward's new tragedies and glories.
Frogs
She, his mother, wished he wouldn't be so sweet. It was what she
had longed for since he was a little boy, an indifferent, cold little
child, and dreamed of. It made it difficult for her not to break down.
And how dreary that would be for him, who was so glad to come
home.
Always he had been very bored at home. He never since he was at
all grown-up—he was twenty-one—had stayed an hour more than
was necessary in the old dark sad castle. Now he had six days, just
six days, for his own, to do with whatever he chose, away from
those places of death, and it seemed that there was nothing he
wanted but the old dull things that always before had so bored him.
She had been coming up from the village in the soft wet April
afternoon, by the wide central avenue of the parterres between the
little clipped yew trees, when he came out to the terrace. She had
an instant's sick terror of thinking he was killed, and that this was
her vision of him. But he was calling to her, and laughing. She had
stopped, and stood quite still, and he had come eagerly, running
down the steps to her.
They had six days together.
Often she had thought of the old strong castle that it was a place
meant for great things to happen in, glories and disasters. Small
things were of no matter in it. There had been no room bright and
light enough for a little child to be gay in. Her baby's room had had
stone walls and a high carved ceiling and windows four feet deep. If
ever he had laughed and shouted, his little voice had been lost
among old echoes. How could any child not have been afraid of the
shadows that trailed and lurked along the corridors and upon the
stairs.
She specially remembered her little son standing with Miss on the
top of the terrace steps, under the great Watch Tower, never running
to meet her as she came up through the garden, the shadow of the
stern old house prisoning him, like some dark spell, in his little white
sailor dress.
Now, he had come to meet her eagerly, as she had so used to wish
he would.
In the six days he was all the things to her that she had ever
dreamed of. He was her little boy who needed her. He had wild gay
moments, when his gaiety swept her along, and moments that
needed her comforting.
Then it was their last day together, a softly raining day.
In the morning they went for a long tramp through their own woods
and on into the forest, deeper and deeper. All the forest ways were
full of wet blue hyacinths and songs of thrushes. The little rain made
music in the April branches, and the wet smells were as incense in
the forest aisles. When they came home he was hungry. Nothing
would do but that they should go down to the village to the Place de
l'Eglise and get spice bread and barley sugar from old Madame
Champenot, as he had used to do when he was a small boy to
whom his mother gave five sous for being good.
They must go down the terrace steps and along the avenue to the
Queen's Bosquet, where the old statues stood together dressed in
ivy, and through the little stern gate in the rampart walls, and across
the moat by the new bridge, that was so old, to the Place of the
church.
Thatched roofs and tiled roofs were touched with spring wherever
moss and lichen clung to them, green and grey and yellow.
He had gone into the little shop, and she had waited outside, not
able to talk to any one.
The great Watch Tower of the castle, and the low square grey tower
of the church, and all the crooked old tall black chimney-pots
seemed to swim in the blue of the sky.
Waiting there she felt that the coming of spring was sad almost past
bearing. She thought, soon the frogs in the castle moats would be
singing their lonesome song.
Afterwards they went round to the stables, from which all the horses
were gone, and he was sad to think how long he had forgotten his
little old pony, scarcely bigger than a dog.
In the afternoon he must go everywhere about the house, to all the
old rooms and corridors and stairways, that he never before had
known he loved. She must go with him, through the great dim attics,
and up the tower stairs, and out on to the battlements, to the
sunset; down into the great stone-vaulted kitchens, and the cellars
that had been dungeons. They went laughingly at first. But
afterwards they did not laugh any more. It had come to have the
sacredness of a pilgrimage, their small journeying.
He talked quite gaily while they were at dinner in the long dining-hall
under the minstrel's gallery.
But when they went to her little study afterwards together, they both
were very silent.
There was a fire burning, but all the windows were open.
And as they sat there, almost silently together, they heard the first
frogs singing in the castle moat. He laughed, and would have her tell
him the story of the Frog Princess, that he never had cared for her
to tell him when he was a little boy.
She knew that she would never listen to the frogs again without
remembering that night.
She wondered if the memory would become an agony to her. It
seemed to her strange that, caring so much, she could not know.
May 3rd
In other years also the spring was sad. There was always that
exquisite lovely poignant sadness of spring.
These days are too beautiful. It seems as if one could not bear
them.
I think it is because so much beauty makes one want happiness.
One cannot understand, in such loveliness, why one is not happy.
Something is asked of us that we cannot answer.
I remember Roselyne's saying, long before there was war, one
sunset, down by the sea in the south—
"So much happiness would be needed to fill the beauty of the day."
May 4th
Yet perhaps in this cruel year spring is less cruel. Not to be happy is,
in this year, the inevitable thing. One is less lonely in each his own
special lack of happiness. And each one may think he would be
happy, perfectly, if only there were no war.