Deserve It

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/49692967.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Narcos (TV)
Relationships: Javier Peña (Narcos) & You, Javier Peña (Narcos) & Reader
Characters: Javier Peña (Narcos), Steve Murphy (Narcos)
Additional Tags: Grumpy Javier Peña (Narcos), Sad Javier Peña (Narcos), Angst with a
Happy Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Smut, Pregnancy
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-08-28 Words: 90,534 Chapters: 21/21
 Deserve It
by Creedslove

Summary

You and Javier have a cat and mouse game, you two like each other but it's hard to admit.
When Javi breaks your heart will you be able to forgive him?
 Chapter 1

You and Javi were focused on the pictures you received from the informants, watching them
closely and trying to draw any detail from them that could somehow help you guys get a clue
on Pablo's whereabouts.
You weren't Javi's partner, but since Steve's wife left him, you decided to step in to help out
Javi, as he was overloaded with work.
You two had grown closer in the past year, when you moved into the same apartment
complex as the other agents did.
You weren't an agent, but you were in charge of supervising all the paperwork and sending it
back to the American government.
Javi got closer to you just like he did with every woman: by throwing his charms on you.
Which would've worked if you weren't still hurt because of your last bad breakup.
When Javi made a final attempt at seducing you, you were straight up honest with him. You
wouldn't jump into his bed because you were still scarred from the last time you allowed
someone in, but you assured him you admired him for being honest as well, not playing with
anyone's feelings and getting straight to the point.
After that, Javi found a friend in you, and you found a friend in him.
He did everything he could to protect you and you did everything you could to make sure he
was safe, you often checked on him, made him meals when you knew all he had was a pack
of cigarettes and liquor.
And God, Javier was sweet. He still flirted with you, of course, and you flirted back, he knew
you had no intentions of sleeping with him, but it was kind of your thing, he didn't save up
any pet names for you. You were querida, cariño, princesa, cielo… you name it. You just felt
so at ease with each other.
He was the kind of guy who would leave chocolate on your table or a small flower he found
on the street, whatever he saw that reminded him of you. It didn't matter if it was something
small, it just made your heart melt and feel welcome there.
You also were aware of Javi's sexual behavior, and not only you, everyone was and you were
familiar with his reputation. You knew he slept around, had no strings and even paid for sex,
but you never brought it up. Some people called him a manwhore, and though in practice he
was one, it never affected how you saw him.
Javi also really appreciated how you never brought it up and on the rare occasions one of the
guys from the office made a comment or a joke about his lady friends or his favorite brothel
in your presence, you completely ignored it and began talking business instead.
You could tell Javi was trying his best to find something in those photos, but it seemed like a
dead end task. So you turned to the pile of paperwork he still had ahead of him and sighed.
"I'll help you with that, Javi… you can take a bathroom break or go for a coffee if you want"
Javier felt his heart clench in his chest at your sweet offer. That wasn't your job, you had no
obligation to do that, hell, not even he had the obligation of doing Steve's job but he had to
just because he was a little pussy after his wife left him. Javi looked at you for a second,
wondering why Steve couldn't be strong like you were. You'd had an awful breakup and
though he didn't know the whole story, he knew you enough to assume you just picked up the
pieces and started over again.
As if you read his mind, you smiled softly at him "I know you're pissed off at Murphy right
now, this is definitely not the best time to have a man down in our team, but cut him some
slack. He's going through a real hard time, and a broken heart can really take us down, I
know it did when it happened to me, but he'll get over soon" you reminded Javier and placed
your hand on his in a comforting way.
You both didn't notice one of the CIA agents approaching your table, and only realized your
hands were still touching when the man let out a laugh.
"Y/N and Agent Peña? What is this, holding hands in the office now?" Carlos eyed the two of
you up and down and shook his head.
"I can't believe this, Y/N… I expected more from you. You're the office's muñequita. All of
us wanted a chance to get you and you go and choose Peña?!" He scoffed.
"You could do so much better than this manwhore, you do know he can't keep it in his pants
and all the prostitutes in the country know his name, right?"
You stiffened in your chair and took a quick look at Javi, seeing he gripped the sides of the
table to the point his knuckles turned white, he was tense and angry, and yet he didn't dare
look up and face Carlos.
It took you a split second to realize Javi was ashamed.
You slammed your hands on the table and got up abruptly, dragging the attention of both
men. You stood at full height, though the CIA agent was taller than you, you wouldn't let him
intimidate you at all.
"When you say I could do much better do you mean yourself? Because that's hard to believe,
Carlos. Not only are you painfully unattractive but extremely stupid and rude" you spat at
him "you're married and you chase after women while your wife is waiting for you at home,
so I'm guessing you're the real manwhore here. Javier is single and he can do whatever he
wants, and trust me when I tell you he does it better than any other man and certainly better
than you ever will. Never talk about him like that with your filthy mouth or I swear I'll knock
on your door and tell your wife all about your little adventures" you groaned feeling your
blood boiling at that whole situation.
It was extremely uncalled for. You didn't care if Javier had troubles with some other agents,
he was your friend, he always protected you and took care of you when you needed and you
would never admit someone treated him like that in front of you.
Carlos gulped and left without a word. You sat back down and looked at Javi, he finally
looked at you in the eyes but remained silent.
"Y/N… I-" he started but you could tell he was still embarrassed about the whole situation so
you shook your head.
"I'll finish these tasks at home, can you give me a ride?"

•••

The ride home was silent and you respected that. You weren't sure if Javi got angry with you
or if he was just channeling his anger towards Carlos. Either way, you didn't want to bother
him.
Javier was still a gentleman and carried the piles of work you both needed to work on. He
placed them on your coffee table and sat on the couch, surprising you as you'd figured he'd be
back to his apartment.
You got him a drink and one for yourself and you both began working on the paper. He was
silent as his eyes scanned the papers even if his brain couldn't process what was written.
"You didn't have to defend me like that, Y/N"
He broke the silence and stared into your eyes.
"Yes I did, Javi. Because you would've done the same for me. Carlos is a pig and he walks
around that fucking place as if he was still in high school bullying every one he meets" you
told him "he had no right to talk about you like that, and he also doesn't have the right to treat
me like that… even if we were fucking, it's none of his business and I don't think you are bad
at all"
Javi licked his lips as he nodded.
"About what he said… about me being a manwhore… Do you agree?" He knew he was
stepping into a cloudy area, at the same time he wanted to know your true opinion. He was
also scared of hearing the truth.
You bit your lower lips and sustained his look for a while, thinking of how to answer his
question.
"If you asked me about any other man, you know… my opinion on your…let's call it sexual
behavior, I would agree… but I can't when it comes to you, Javi" you extended your hand and
touched his arm "what I guess I'm trying to say is that you are different. I like you and I
would never look at you differently because of it, I don't think it's a good lifestyle but I won't
despise you for that" your hand went for his face, cupping his cheek gently as his sad brown
eyes melted you on the inside and out.
"You really think that, hermosa?" You nodded
"I just don't understand why you do it… I mean, look at yourself Javier, you can make any
girl weak at the knees, you can have any woman in a heartbeat… I think you deserve a
relationship, a wife, kids…. The whole package, Javi. I don't know why you think you don't
deserve to be happy, when in reality you are the one who deserves it most"
You leaned in and kissed his lips so softly, at the same time his hands clung to your hips.
Javi's heart was beating so fast at that moment. All of your words, your kiss, your touch and
your lips, it all had a deep impact on him. He didn't know why someone like you could like
someone like him, but he continued to kiss you, even if he didn't deserve it.
 TWO
Chapter Summary

Javier has been acting weird ever since your kiss

Javi's hand gripped your waist, his fingers brushing against your skin as you deepened the
kiss.
You tasted his lips and loved how his mustache tickled you softly, your hands tugging at his
hair, and a soft whimper escaped your lips when you realized how good it felt.
No wonder all the women wanted a piece of Javier Peña.
And just like you initiated it, he stopped it.
Peña broke the kiss announced, he licked his lips, having one last taste of you and sighed
heavily. Getting up and walking to the door "I gotta go, Y/N" he swallowed and left.

•••
You could barely sleep at night, you were left confused and worried about what was going on
with Javi. He just broke the kiss and left without a second word. No sex, no goodbyes, no
apologies, no compliments, nothing.
You didn't know exactly what you expected, when you kissed him you knew there was a high
chance of ending up under him, and even if you didn't, you figured you were close enough to
avoid any awkwardness. You thought you'd laugh it off, shrugged it off or anything else but
Javier exiting your apartment like that.
You hoped things would be better in the morning, maybe he just got embarrassed after the
scene Carlos made the day before.
Morning came at a slow pace and you were anxious to get to work. You noticed Javi had left
earlier than usual and you thought it was a little odd. Of course he didn't have to give you a
ride everyday, but he usually did. Even if it wasn't his obligation, you helped each other out,
but no problem, you decided to not overthink things and focus on getting to work before you
ran late.
You rushed to your table kind of clumsy. You carried many files you'd finished after Javi left
and also two cups of coffee from a shop down the street. It was nothing like the American
ones you were used to, but there was something about that strong coffee from Colombia you
couldn't get enough of. Of course Javi was the one who showed you and promised you you'd
love it.
You managed to get everything on your table and walked to him, he had his head low,
focused expression, furrowing his brows at how attentive he read the documents. You figured
he was so deep into work he hadn't noticed you despite the noise the heavy files made when
they hit the solid furniture.
"Morning Javi, this is for you" you placed his cup of coffee next to where he was resting his
hand and smiled, but he didn't even raise his eyes from the paper
"I already had coffee," he replied coldly.
Your jaw dropped at the action, not even in the worst of his moods he had been that cold to
you.
You swallowed hard and looked around feeling slightly lost not knowing what to do or what
to say properly
"Is there a problem, Javi?" You questioned at the same time Murphy walked towards you
"Peña, Messina wants to see us now"
And with that both men left barely acknowledging your existence and let out saying goodbye.
You waited the whole afternoon, finishing the tasks you'd compromised to help Javi with but
there was no sign of them. Things were probably tense and whenever they had a meeting
with Messina you knew he got furious.
You saw Steve walking in and sitting down on his chair. You turned to him and waited for
Javier's entrance but he never showed up.
"Where's Javi?" You asked the blonde man who scratched the back of his neck and looked at
you
"I don't know Y/N… he said he had stuff to do"
You nodded and looked back at the brand new pile of paper Steve brought from Messina's
office.

•••

In the evening you got out of the shower and went to the kitchen to prepare yourself some
dinner. You were feeling very tired due to the stress at work and felt like making nothing
more elaborate than a sandwich, but when you saw the raviolis ready to be made, your mouth
watered. You quickly grabbed your cooking appliances and began working.
As food was almost ready, you battled yourself if you should knock on Javi's door and offer
him some. You knew he didn't eat well overall and you still remembered the first time you'd
made ravioli and invited him over. You'd never seen him eat so much before, he truly did
enjoy every bite he took and praised your cooking skills for days with no end.
You smiled at yourself at the sweet memory and figured some dinner would be the greatest
peace offer you could think of. Maybe over dinner you could talk things through and end up
with that whole awkwardness.
You knocked on his door a few times with no answer. It was kind of odd as you'd seen his car
parked in the garage and you didn't hear any noises coming from inside, and by noises, you
meant moans and whimpers, which meant he was alone. You frowned and insisted a little bit
more.
"Javi… I think you're inside, maybe you fell asleep, but if you're awake, I just want you to
know I made ravioli for dinner, and well, if you wanna have dinner with me, you're invited"
you still let out a smile and again you got no answer.
You sighed and walked back inside, still clueless about what was going on.
When you woke up the next morning, you were determined to find out what the heck was
going on between the two of you. Javier was simply ignoring you, pretending you didn't
existed and it hurt you to no end. He had never been like that, your Javi was sweet, lovely,
funny. He was a gentleman, but ever since you barked at Carlos for his stupid teasing and you
kissed him, Javier just acted as if he didn't even know you.
You didn't know what had changed and why he distanced himself, there was no reason for
him to treat you like that, you were upset to be ignored but you also couldn't deny you were
dying to have his eyes on you again, to have his attention, his sweet words, the pet names, the
spoiling, and above all, you missed your friend. You only realized how attached to him you
really were now he was pushing you away.
When you began getting ready, you went through your closet trying to pick something to
wear that would go with your recently done red blood nails. You knew Javier would say
something about it, he always did. Deep inside you thought it must've been some kind of a
kink, as he always praised women whenever they liked how their nails were done and to you
it wasn't anything different. His favorite seemed to be red, as he always said it suited your
sexy personality.
You smiled as you found the perfect dress to go to work. You remembered clearly the day
when you and Javi were walking down the street on a Sunday afternoon after you went out
for lunch a few blocks away from your apartment building. You'd stopped briefly in front of a
store, though it was closed, you could see the dresses in the window.
He had taken off his sunglasses and watched the dress closely.
"This one, cariño, it will match your body perfectly"
First thing you did that Monday after work was to stop by the place and buy the dress Javier
told you to.
When you got to the office, you were feeling pretty confident about yourself, Javi was right
after all, the dress did match your body, and it made you feel elegant and powerful. No one
could accuse him of not having a good taste nor not knowing the female body after all.
You could see several male gazes at you, following you around and watching every step you
took. Even Steve eyed you up and down, but not Javi.
In fact, he acted just like he'd been doing for the past couple of days. Head buried into work
and not bothering giving you the time of the day. He talked to Murphy or just answered the
phone, concentrated and not looking towards you. At the same time you tried your best not to
look disappointed, so you started working, in hopes things would be better through the day.
You were standing by the scanner printer when you felt a presence behind you. You finally
bit your lips to hold back a smile.
"Ay muñequita, me matas así" you were so deep in thought and expectations you were sure
he finally had acknowledged you. You turned to him and your smiley face turned into an
angry expression at the realization it was Carlos's disgusting words and not Javi's.
"Fuck you, Carlos" you told him as you walked away, feeling pissed at the man.
Another hour went by of hard work and you could feel it was your last chance of drawing
Javi's attention to yourself.
You'd finished the last paperwork Steve had left for you when he was going through his
depressed episode and you needed to hand it to agent Peña himself.
You walked to his desk confidently as ever and placed the paper flat on the table, holding it
with your fingers and sliding over to him, your nails extremely visible as you saw he stopped
whatever he was writing and stared at your hand, not at you, not into your eyes, but it was a
start.
"Where do I put this, Javi?" You asked as sweet as you could be.
"Wherever you want, Y/N. I don't care"
And just like that, you felt like a wave of freezing water crashed over you.
You felt some angry tears forming in your eyes and was so careful not to spill them there.
You went back to your table silently and pretended to work some more, though you couldn't
focus on anything around you.
It was Y/N now. Only Y/N. No cariño, no querida, no hermosa, no mi amor, just the distance
and unfamiliarity of Y/N.
When he got up some moments later, you mimed his action and kept your head low, not
bothering looking at him, holding your breath as you really thought for a second he would
stop by your desk. But instead he walked right past it and went to the secretary, giving her his
brown puppy eyes while he asked for a favor.
"This color really matches you, Colleen" he said in his sweet, charming, flirty way, sending a
deep flush across the secretary's face.
You couldn't believe your ears and when you finally looked at them, he was actually holding
her hand in his.
You gritted your teeth and if you could you would've slapped that bitch right across her ugly
face.
You weren't proud of that thought, Colleen was actually pretty nice to you and she probably
didn't deserve that. In fact, Javier deserved it more than anyone in that room, even more than
Carlos, but you didn't care about being rational at that point. You were just so angry and
jealous of her.
Javier got whatever he asked her for and placed it at his desk before heading to the restroom.
You felt a burning rage invading your body and you couldn't take that situation anymore.
You followed him not caring if anyone saw you sneaking into the men's bathroom, you shut
the door behind you with a loud thud making Javi turn around startled and stare at you.
"What the fuck Y/N?" He groaned in annoyance and you took a step closer
"What the fuck Javier? I'm the one who asks you what the fuck is going on with you? Why
are you being such a dick to me? What have I done to you?" You were so angry your voice
shook a little, wanting answers from him.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, looking at you and placing his hands on his
hips.
"You know what, Y/N? I don't need you bitching with Carlos for the things he says, I don't
want you to act like a savior, I don't need you to save me, Y/N. And I definitely don't need
you to kiss me out of pity" he let out trying to control his voice, though you could see a
popping vein in his neck.
"I never kissed you out of pity, Javi… I did it because it felt right…"
He scoffed and rolled his eyes
"Since we met you've been clear about not wanting to sleep with me but you do everything in
your power to act like my fucking girlfriend and then you kiss me?!" He slid his tongue
through his lips and sighed "I'm not a good man, for you or any other woman, you gotta take
that out of your mind. I know why you broke up with your boyfriend. He left you at the altar,
and guess what? I did the same thing with a woman named Lorraine ten years ago! Do you
really think I'm not as bad as the other guys are? I'm not as bad as your former fiance? Cut
the crap Y/N. You can't have these feelings for me, we'd better stop whatever this was now.
So you won't get even more hurt"
He gave you a last glance and exited the bathroom.
You stood there, watching yourself in the mirror, looking at how much effort you had put into
your outfit to draw the attention of a man who didn't deserve you.
Maybe it had been obvious from the start and you refused to see, but turns out Javier Peña
was just like every other man, and just like the ones you've had before, he broke your heart.
 THREE
Chapter Summary

Things go from bad to worse after a night of drinking

The walk back to your desk felt worse than any walk of shame after sleeping with some guy.
You didn't know if anyone had heard your argument with Javier, but you felt humiliated
enough to be under the impression everybody knew what had happened and now had their
eyes on you.
You avoided looking towards him, but noticed his desk was empty, he'd left and you would
do the same. There was no way you could work after the emotional whiplash you suffered.
You grabbed your purse and walked pass Colleen, rolling your eyes at her nails, thinking
about how Javier had complimented them.
Yours looked much better and probably made that filthy mind think about your hand wrapped
around his cock.
Your options were limited at that moment, if you stayed, you'd have to put up with people at
work, Steve's curious glances and there was a real chance Carlos would show up to continue
his daily teasing.
You decided to head into the first bar you found. It looked sketchy and kind of dangerous and
you didn't care one bit, you just wanted to pour liquid down your throat.

And you did it, repeatedly, probably way too many more times you should have.
But you needed anything you could get a grip on in order to soothe the pain you felt.
You were so disappointed in Javier you couldn't even explain.
He had broken your heart, he led you into believing you were actually important and
meaningful to him, he let you think you two could still be close, without wanting to get into
your pants.
You couldn't believe how naive you were to think a man like Javier would actually be
honestly and truly nice to you, of course not. He wanted to fuck you, like your ex did it, like
Carlos does and like Steve would probably have done if you'd given him any chance the day
you went to check on him to see if he was doing fine after not showing up at work and he
insisted you shared a bottle of aguardente. That was when you'd ended up telling him about
how you were left at the altar.
And then he went and blabbered everything to Javier in the first opportunity he got.
You had no idea Steve was one for gossip, but you also had no idea Javier was only a pig and
nothing more.
You never wanted to look at him again, you didn't even want to give him the time of the day,
but at the same time you wanted to go and tell him to his face everything that was stuck
inside. You battled yourself about whether you should do it, you knew it was probably a
stupid idea but you couldn't let him get away with him and live his life as if nothing had
actually happened while you were so hurt.
On your way home, you were so intoxicated you didn't even give the fact you were walking
alone late at night in the streets of Colombia a second thought.
You just wanted to get everything out of your system, if Javier Peña thought he could just
throw all that shit at you, he was about to be in for a treat.
You didn't even know how you got home, you were so into your own thoughts you didn't
even pay attention to where you went to and the next thing you knew you were banging on
Javier's door.
You didn't give one single fuck if it was loud or if it would bother any of the neighbors.
You were so impatient you wanted to kick that door open, and you only stopped when Javier
stood right there, looking at you not believing his eyes.
"What the fuck Y/N?" He asked angrily, shocked at the sight of you, drunk, making a scandal
at his door.
"What's wrong Javi, you're not happy to see me?" You tilted your head to the side and scoffed
softly "or do you think you're the only one who can say anything you like?" You went deadly
serious and stared at him.
"Can I come in?"
Javier crossed his arms in front of his chest and cleared his throat
"No, you can't," he said leaning against the door showing your entrance wasn't allowed
without having to use words.
"You don't have the right of doing this to me, you were my friend! Friends are supposed to
care for each other! And not ghost each other like you've been doing to me. I am not
worthless, I thought you liked me Javier! What has got to you? Have you ever been this
asshole or did I stir anything when I kissed you?" You asked angrily and he groaned even
more annoyed at your bratty attitude.
"Y/N, I already told you, the problem is you. You don't know the difference between
friendship and relationship, you want to act as my girlfriend all the time. We can be friends
on my terms, but I don't owe you anything, I don't owe you Sunday dinners, I don't owe you
explanations on where I'm going, I don't owe you anything, Y/N, do you understand that?"
Your eyes welled up with tears.
"Yeah? I never asked you anything of this sort, you did it because you wanted to!!! You left
me little chocolates, gave me flowers, lent me your sunglasses when it was sunny outside!
You did all of it! And you know what? Because you liked being treated like a boyfriend!!!
You liked when I cooked for you, when I wiped all your blood off you and took care of your
bruises, you liked walking on the street with me and having other guys watching us in envy.
Everytime Carlos gritted his teeth because he assumed you were fucking me after hours? The
muñequita thing, you think I don't know? You just told him I was your muñequita and that's
why he kept calling me that crap. How did I go from your muñequita to what we are now?"
You blinked some of your tears and stared into his eyes, but you were not satisfied yet.
"You fucking loved having me liking you, being attached to you, it must've been so good for
your ego, all because you are a selfish bastard who can't keep a girl by your side, because all
you do is take and feed your hunger and spit it out like it never happened"
You only realized you were yelling, when you heard footsteps coming from his living room,
and an arm snaked around his waist as a woman looked at you with widened eyes and rested
her head on his chest.
"Quién es esa, Javi?" She asked in a low voice and your jaw dropped at the realization the
prostitute he hired looked a lot like you.
You both had the same size, similar body type, hair and eye color.
You shook your head in denial at that disturbing image, it was pretty clear to you it was all
about sex, all Javier wanted was to fuck you and you refused the only thing he put all that
effort into treating you nicely to get. You swallowed a lump on your throat but then you
laughed dryly "I'm the original version, the one he couldn't get his hands on, so he went and
hired a cheaper version: you, sweetie"
You gave him one last glance "you disgust me, Javier. So much" you said and header towards
your apartment, but his strong hands grabbed your wrist and tried pulling you to his body.
"Fuck, wait a little, Y/N" he asked but you got rid of his touch
"Get off me, Peña" you yelled one more time "don't you ever touch me again, I don't want to
even remember you exist outside work, and if I may tell you one last thing, I want you to
know Lorraine is so lucky you left her at the altar, because she dodged a huge fucking bullet
by not marrying you"
You faced away from him and locked yourself in your apartment.
 FOUR
Chapter Summary

After the traumatic night you were doing your best to keep things to yourself, but when
a co-worker begins to bother you, you make a decision that brings consequences no one
imagine and now it's Javier's turn to take your side, despite the bad situation involving
the two of you

The reflection that stared back at Javier in the mirror disgusted him to no end.
He hated every single detail about it, its looks, its attitude, its job, its shitty choices.
Javier Peña hated himself.
He was a low life, he knew that and never actually hid it, but to know you now, not only
knew for a fact he was one, but told him to his face made it everything worse.
He wasn't a hypocrite, he knew you were right, he was never going to try to convince you
otherwise, there was no mistake, no misinterpretation in the world that could somehow lessen
what he'd done to you.
He'd ghosted you, ignored you, been cold, rude, he'd complained about how well you treated
him, even if that was the only good thing he had in his life. The kindness he received from
you without expecting anything in return was something he should've refused but he couldn't
bring himself to do it.
And he knew he should've kept to himself the moment you refused his flirting. That was what
he did to the very few women who refused him, but he just couldn't resist.
The way you laughed softly and bit your lips, an adorable pink spreading on your beautiful
face as you leaned closer and watched him up and down.
"If it weren't for the heartbreak I still got, I'd be under you right now" you chuckled "and then
I'd be on top of you and if you really played your cards right, I'd be on my hands and knees"
you burst out laughing, sipping the drink he'd paid you and looking down in embarrassment.
That was your first ever interaction outside the office and after you were bluntly honest with
him, he wasn't able to let you go.
You were too good, too pretty, too funny and too damn sexy.
After that, he promised himself he wouldn't let you get hurt, but he couldn't stay away. Each
time your face lit up when he said something about your nails, or how you smiled when he
called you a pet name and the next thing Javier leaving small gifts on your desk.
It was stupid, he felt so dumb when you arrived at work and saw the small chocolates, or the
flowers, but the moment you smiled at him and rushed to his desk to thank him, it made it all
worth it.
Then you began hanging out on the weekends too, at first it was a shy restaurant
recommendation, that quickly turned into a ride to the restaurant and that evolved into lunch
or dinner together.
During the week, the smell of food coming from your apartment was tempting, and though
Javi salivated just to picture how good it would be to have some homemade food again, he
was too embarrassed to knock on your door and ask for a plate.
As if you'd read his mind you knocked on his door, offering some and that became a habit.
You were right when you rubbed on his face he enjoyed being treated like your boyfriend, he
really did. That way he could be near you and daydream about how things could be if he were
a different man.
He never meant to hurt you, but he began hurting you by letting you in, by not pushing you
away when he had the opportunity to do so. He knew you, he knew you were past the
relationship feelings a long time ago, maybe you didn't tell yourself that, but he could tell you
liked him in a way it was fair to you, because he liked you just as much, though it took him
some time to bring himself to admit it himself he was in love.
But nothing good ever came from that.
Even the times Javier was actually in love, it faded as quick as it started. He was a guy that
had passions, but they never lasted. So he couldn't do that to you. He couldn't let you think
you two could be together knowing some day he would probably wake up and see his
feelings for you had changed, while you were stuck in love with someone who didn't deserve
you.
He couldn't be like your ex, he hated that motherfucker with passion. Since the first time you
mentioned your heartbreak, under all the amusement he felt at your words, he also felt a hint
of anger. He didn't understand how a man could hurt a woman like you.
You'd never told him exactly what had happened, and he never asked. It was pretty simple to
him: if you wanted Javier to know, you'd tell him eventually.
Of course he couldn't help wondering what he'd done to you. Several times Javi lay on his
bed thinking of your past relationship. He assumed the guy had cheated, that was a real good
reason for someone to become brokenhearted but he had a feeling that it could be more than
that. Maybe he'd got someone else pregnant? It was one of the theories Javi came up with.
When Steve had one drink after the other after work the day he actually got his shit back
together after crying over Connie for weeks, he got tipsy and talkative, and he blabbered
everything you'd confided in him.
You'd been left at the altar by your fiance.
You'd been left in front of everybody, family, friends, co-workers, while wearing a beautiful
wedding dress that you picked so carefully, in order to make that day perfect in every way.
Your fiance had publicly humiliated you just like Javier did with fiancee a decade prior.
Javier hated your ex with passion for what he did to you, and he hated himself even more to
know that in a way, he was also that guy.
He had to try and stop you from getting even more hurt by being around him, but just like
everything in life, he screwed things up.

When you woke up the morning after that horrible night, you wanted to disappear. You
groaned as a pounding headache reminded you constantly of your very poor choices the night
before and you closed your eyes wishing as hard as you could that what had happened would
be just an awful nightmare and nothing more.
But you needed to face reality.
But reality could wait a little, so you spent the weekend locked in your apartment, literally
playing dead, not wanting to see anyone as you thought about everything you were doing in
life, you were so tired of that situation, tired of Javier, tired of your feelings for him. You
were also tired of what was about to come, you just wished your heart would stop aching like
it did.
When Monday came, you ignored everyone and did your job. You went out for lunch on your
own and returned for another shift of not making visual contact with anyone and praying that
lump in your throat that suffocated you would go away.
Javier and Murphy kept their voices low, so you didn't distinguish what they talked about,
eventually you felt their gaze on you, which you also ignored.
Steve looked around nervously at Javier who just looked away, avoiding you as much as you
did him, but continued walking towards your desk, stopping right in front of it and rubbing
the back of his neck.
"Um… Y/N?" Murphy smiled nervously "Javi and I left some reports with you last week
because you were helping us with it and Messina wants them… where are they?"
You bit your lips at the urgent need of bursting out laughing at his face.
After everything they'd done, Steve had blabbered about your personal life and Javier… well,
you didn't even like to remember it, they still wanted you to do their job?
You thought of many ways you could snap in front of them, make a scandal and have the
entire office's attention on them, but you quickly gave up, instead, you raised your head with
a sweet smile
"Oh sorry Steve, I forgot them at home, but they'll be here first thing in the morning" you
assured them.
When both Javier and Murphy got to work the next day they found a huge pile of unfinished
documents to fill. They looked at each other in confusion but what you'd done quickly sank
in. For one second, they were both naive to the point of actually believing you would help
them do their job after what happened.

•••

Three weeks had passed since the Javier incident and you'd never been more isolated from
everyone. As Javi used to be your favorite person to hang out, you still talked to Steve and
Connie, and some other people from the office, but you ended up distancing yourself and
they didn't seem to be too eager to get your company, so it was not like they missed you.
Steve was still single, going to bars almost every night but also managing to be a functional
drunk by day and work as a cop.
As for Javier you didn't know and you didn't care, sometimes you could smell coffee coming
from his apartment, or cooking oil, which meant he was probably making himself some
french fries. He loved them just like the man child he was.
You also didn't hear any commotion from his place, which meant whoever he was fucking
was being silent.
You missed him on a daily basis, everything reminded you of Javi and sometimes it even
took you some time to process you weren't friends anymore when you saw something nice or
funny and wanted to show him.
But at the same time, you also felt proud of yourself for working on your emotional
detachment from him. The first few days you thought it was impossible to be away from him,
but you were getting by.
On the other hand, one consequence of Javi's distance from you was the fact that Carlos took
it as an invitation to hit on you.
He started small, discret, but consistent. At first he just left small chocolates around your
desk because he was so pathetic he had to imitate Javier, not being able to come up with an
idea on his own.
You always got rid of them by placing them on Steve's desk when he wasn't around which led
him to think they were a gift from Colleen. You chuckled to yourself when you heard his
theory. You knew the fire was about to spread in that department but you simply didn't care.
You wanted them all to fuck off.
Then Carlos left you post its with several messages. They started humble and innocent,
calling you pet names and other stuff, but after a while they started to become spicy, until he
left you full, explicit words of what he would like to do with you in that ugly, sloppy
handwriting of his.
You kept them all in your drawer, you knew when the time was right you'd be able to use
them in your favor.
The morning you decided to wear a pencil skirt to work was when everything began going to
shit. First, Javier's jaw dropped; he couldn't even pretend he didn't acknowledge your
existence anymore. Instead, he just followed you with his eyes all around the office, like an
animal and he didn't even care.
His jeans got tighter and he would let Pablo Escobar produce all the cocaine in the world if
he could only know if you were wearing panties along that skirt or not.
The mere idea of you bare under that teasing outfit in your workplace was enough to send
shivers down his spine. It was enough to take all his focus away and the only picture in
Javier's mind was to have you sitting on his desk, legs spread wide while he had his face
buried between your folds. At that moment, he wanted to be nothing but your fuck boy, to
make it up to you by fucking you like no other.
"We gotta, perv" Murphy interrupted his wet daydreams and reminded him they'd have to go
to the streets.
Carlos took their departure as an invitation to come closer, and as you grabbed yourself a cup
of water he slapped your ass.
"Ay que culo sabroso princesa" he whispered into your ear, without warning and making you
spill some of your water. He laughed softly "leaving a wet path for me already?"
Your blood boiled, if you had access to a gun you knew you would probably shoot that pig in
the face, you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs until someone actually put you out of
your misery.
You were so fed up, so tired, so angry with men taking everything from you. Your fiance,
Javier, Murphy, Carlos… you felt you couldn't even live your life without having one of them
ruining some aspect of it somehow. It stirred something in you and an idea popped into your
head. You took a deep breath and controlled yourself again, you were going to make him pay,
because if one of them got punished, the others would learn from the lesson.
You turned to him and smirked.
"You're all talk and no action. You've been dropping little dirty notes on my desk like a horny
teen and made no moves… are you even interested in me?" You batted your eyes at him.
Carlos frowned softly and chuckled.
"I thought you hated me, you went pretty feral when I talked about Peña a while ago, didn't
ya?"
"I did, but Peña is no longer in the picture and I heard hate fucks can be even better than love
ones… I haven't tried these yet, but maybe you could help me with that?" You smirked and
took his hand writing down the address to a shady hostel known by the cops who investigated
downtown.
"Eight PM. Bring a bottle of wine and a bottle of lube, ya que te gusta mi culo" you
whispered and saw the color drain from his ugly, pathetic face. "Nobody will suspect a cop
and an assistant carrying out an investigation there, right?" You winked at him and walked
away.
Carlos believed you so easily for a second you though he was the one messing with you, but
turns out he was just simply and straight up stupid.
The next step was easy.
You excused yourself to mail some documents and on your way back you also mailed the
collection of obscene post-its to Carlos' house, where his wife received them. The last one
had the time and the address she should go to.
And the rest was history.
When morning came, gossip spread through the office like wildfire, thanks to Colleen who
heard it from a cop, who heard it from another and by 9AM everyone knew agent Carlos
Galindo had been caught red-handed by his wife who immediately pulled out a huge scene
dragging attention from the whole block.
There was crying, screaming, slapping, scratching and accusations, and according to Colleen,
Mrs.Galindo had kicked him out of home and forbade him from seeing the kids.
Apparently a mysterious woman had set the whole thing up, and no one knew her identity.
Though Murphy had a pretty good idea, he shot you a smirk "don't you think it's a whole lotta
coincidence Carlos got into this shit now that he'd been harrassing you?"
You shrugged and smiled big, it was the first time Javier had seen you smile for real in almost
a month and he cursed himself to see his heart skipped a beat.
"Well, I know some men think they can get away with everything, but they gotta learn they
can't just play with women as if we were nothing" you accidentally glanced at Javier and he
caught your eyes. Shit.
You cleared your throat and hoped you weren't blushed "anyway, whoever did this knew he
deserved it" you winked at Steve and went back to work.
You were finishing another report, going over the spelling again to make sure there were no
mistakes when a commotion dragged your attention.
You could hear some muffled voices which became loud as someone approached the room.
You looked at Javier and Murphy, the three of you confused at what the heck was going on.
Colleen's voice wasn't much more than a nervous squeak, telling whoever the person that was
coming wasn't a good idea.
And then you saw him.
Carlos was standing there, fuming, with red blood eyes, looking like he hadn't seen a shower
in ages, still with his work uniform and staring at you with a death glare.
Anyone could see he was clearly out of his mind, but everyone seemed to look at him in a
mix of awe and curiosity.
You thought it was so amusing to see him in that shitty state, but your smile immediately died
when you saw him taking some steps towards you. He had a bottle of wine in hands and his
lips twitched in an attempt of a smile which turned into a sinister face.
"Buenos días puta" he said "I waited for you last night, but you never showed up, whore. My
wife did though and she wasn't happy about it, and I bet my heavy balls you were the cum
dumpster slut who called her" he said getting near your desk at the same time Javier stood up,
calling Carlos' name in order to draw attention to himself, but he was ignored.
"I'm such a gentleman I even brought you your bottle of wine, I hope you enjoy it, puta" he
said angrily before shattering the bottle against the edge of your desk and spilling wine all
over the floor. Carlos' hand immediately yanked a handful of your hair and pulled you against
his body, pointing the sharp glass towards your neck.
Murphy and Javier began trying to talk to him, in order to distract the man and get you safely
out of his hands.
The grip on your hair was painful and though you didn't think Carlos would do it, you
couldn't help but being scared.
"You're nothing but a bitch, a cum dumpster for the guys in the office, you are worthless Y/N,
you destroyed my marriage and now you'll pay, you'll s-"
Carlos was interrupted mid sentence when Javier elbowed his ribs as hard as he could,
ignoring completely his police training that was clear when it said the agents should keep
calm in a dangerous situation, he just went to action. He didn't give a shit if Murphy wanted
to follow the protocol, he wouldn't stand there and watch that motherfucker talk to you like
that, let alone try to hurt you.
Carlos dropped the sharp bottleneck and gasped for air, as you ran away from his grip and
didn't know what to do.
He immediately turned to Javier, all his anger focused on the man, as they began a real dog
fight, Carlos threw a few punches at Javier, but he stepped over the spilled wine and fell onto
the floor. Peña didn't think twice before kicking him, not caring if he was already down.
Carlos managed to stand up even though he struggled and laughed softly as found you
pressed against the wall, watching the scene with horror in your eyes.
"You're scared now? Don't be, malparida. Save your scared look for when I'm fucking all of
your tight pretty holes until you are crying and bleeding and whimpering for your manwhore
prince charming to save you" he said darkly "I'll do you worse than any Escobar men would"
Everybody went silent when you heard the click of a gun's safety. Carlos went dead quiet
when he felt the cold metal against his neck.
You could barely believe the scene of Javier standing there, pointing a gun at a fellow cop
just to defend you. Murphy also tried to calm the both of them down, but at that moment you
felt as if you'd gone deaf. All you could hear was Javier's words.
"Turn around, Carlos. Turn around nice and slowly" he commanded in a surprisingly calm
voice and the disgusting man who had just been making horrible threats looked like a scared
stray dog, obeying Javier, he meet his angry eyes.
"Now you listen to me… you will never get near Y/N again, got it? Never!!! You will never
step into the same room she's in, you will never call her those things, got it? She's not a puta,
she's not a whore, she's not a cum dumpster… You deserved what happened to you and if you
make Y/N slightly uncomfortable I'll shoot you in the face" Javi lowered his aim a little, now
his gun pointed right between Carlos' eyes.
"I'll do you worse than Escobar men would"
The man went completely silent as he remained at Javier's gunpoint.
No matter how many times Murphy and other people that arrived just in time to watch the
grotesque scene asked Peña to calm down. He would still hold his gun against Carlos, the
waves of rage flowing through his body as he thought of every second of what that animal
had done to you.
His heart was racing with adrenaline and he felt an urge to pull the trigger.
He just came back to his senses when he felt a soft, warm hand on his arm, looking at it and
recognizing the pretty nails done just like he loved observing.
"Javi… put the gun down please"
Your voice calling his name after so long of being ignored. He wasn't Peña, he wasn't Javier.
He was Javi. He was your Javi again, at least that was what he hoped for.
He looked at you and saw your scared eyes, finally putting his gun down just like you'd asked
for and nodded at you.
"It's okay, it's over now, cariño, I'm here to protect you"
 FIVE
Chapter Summary

You and Javier are sent to a conversation with Messina who determines you get
relocated to another department, which means you are drifting away from Javier even
more and that makes your relationship even more complicated

You sat on the chair looking away as Murphy handcuffed Carlos and made sure he wasn't
going anywhere.
Some other cops came over to find out what was happening but you just wanted to disappear
from that place and never come back.
You couldn't leave, you would have to formally declare a statement explaining your side of
the situation as you'd been attacked by a co-worker. Technically, according to the DEA and
the Embassy rules you hadn't done anything wrong. What the agents did when they were off
duty was none of their business and it didn't matter to them if you had set up for Carlos or if
he was just unlucky to be caught by his wife during one of his escapades.
With the war against Pablo Escobar getting worse each day, the organs couldn't care less if an
agent was having an affair.
However, they did care about agents attacking each other. That was why Carlos was
immediately suspended and had to hand in his badge and gun, which made you more relieved
than you'd like to admit. Now, you'd gotten away with the situation but Javier was still
unclear of what was going on. He'd immobilized the attacker and saved the day, with a lot
more violence and strength then required, he held him at gunpoint in front of an entire office
and that was something that didn't weigh in his favor.
You both would have to talk to Messina later that day, but all you wanted was to go home and
lock yourself up. You wanted to shower, change clothes and pretend that never happened, you
began feeling sick, nausea and shivers traveled through your body. You hated how your
emotional state affected your physical health. It'd always been like that: at the smallest sign
of emotional inconvenience, your body would take a toll on it.
You rubbed your arms in order to warm up, as the tip of your fingers were ice cold but as
someone had read your mind, a leather jacket had been placed on top of your back. You
looked up and found Javier trying to make you wear his jacket.
He had a cup in his hand and he lowered himself "have this Y/N… I asked Colleen to make
you some tea, your stomach is probably upset" he said with those stupid brown warm eyes
"Messina wants to see us soon, so you gotta be alright, cariño" he cupped your cheek gently
and got up again so he could handle Carlos with Steve's help.
Fuck Javier.
Fuck Javier Peña.
How dare he after all he did to you, after all he made you go through, after breaking your
heart just try and sweet talk you with this cheap act of pretending to care?
Yes, he had saved you, and you were thankful to him, you were not an ungrateful little bitch,
but he could have done his job without crossing any lines. Now he was offering you tea and
jackets as if he cared, as if he hadn't treated you like a total stranger for the past month, after
being so cruel and humiliating you like you never expected him to do.
You were not gonna let him win you over that fast, but first things first, you had an
appointment with Messina that could cost a lot to you, maybe not your job, but if she decided
to punish you somehow you'd be screwed.
Murphy walked to you and was just as gentle as Javi was and for a moment you almost felt
sorry for giving him the cold shoulder, so you thanked him for his reassuring words
"We'll go to Messina's in a while, I just need to go to the bathroom first" you informed them
and disappeared into it, locking the door and throwing some water onto your face.
You sighed deeply, watching your own reflection as you shook your head in disbelief at the
warmth you felt between your folds.
For a second you had hopes your period had come unannounced so you got into the bathroom
stall and pulled your panties down.
To say you were wet was an understatement.
You were soaked.
You couldn't believe yourself, you felt a mix of anger and shame at the realization Javier's
display of protectiveness and violence turned you on. The way he just went all feral towards
Carlos, punching him, using all his strength against him just to calm down and cold bloody
point a gun at him, for you, was enough to have you like a little puta for Javier.
Maybe Carlos was right on one thing: you were a slut, too bad you were it for the wrong
man.
If none of that shit had gone on between the two of you, you'd certainly spend the night
alternating between sitting on his cock and sitting on his face as a thank you.
You felt your clit twitching at the thought and immediately pulled yourself together, getting
decent again and washing your face once more, blocking these kinds of thoughts as best as
you could.

•••
You and Javier were placed in front of Messina for the past hour. The two of you giving your
own accounts of what had happened. She never interrupted you and eventually took notes
here and there. You'd downed the third glass of water by then, feeling nervous at the whole
situation. It felt like you were sent to the principal's office and while Javier handled the
situation smoothly throwing his charms at her here and there, you were obviously tense.
The woman analyzed the situation carefully, she knew the behavior on all parts were
extremely inadequate and even scolded you for coming up with your little devious plan.
What agents and employees of DEA did in their free time was their business, but they
expected those activities to not interfere in the daily routine of the investigations. You swore
you had to bite your tongue so you wouldn't ask her the same applied to Javier using the
contributors' money to pay for hookers with the horrible excuse of informative intel.
But you decided it would be best if you didn't make things worse than they already were.
Messina, on the other hand, was a powerful woman who had to struggle a lot to accomplish
things and work twice as hard just because she was a woman. So she definitely knew what
you went through with Carlos and though she couldn't really take sides, deep down she was
satisfied with the lesson he learned.
She scolded Javier some more for his reckless actions and reminded him he had better ways
to handle the situation, but when he promised he wouldn't do it again, she finished the
meeting.
"Uh, Y/N… before you go, I must tell you your request to be transferred to another country
was denied" you nodded shyly and saw when Javier's neck head snapped at you, shocked to
hear you'd asked for a transfer, he swallowed and licked his lips, as he couldn't get his eyes
off you, listening carefully as his heart raced and dropped at his toes to know you'd asked to
leave the country.
"With this war we have going on against the narcos we can't afford losing any members of
the team. You do a very good job and your reports are essential for us" she explained
"however, with this situation, you will be assigned to another department, the lower floor,
you can work for a couple of months in the crime division where things aren't as stressful as
your current job is… it is temporary, just so the gossip dies and you find a break from all the
stress" you nodded silently accepting her decision. On one hand you were disappointed to
know you weren't leaving Colombia any sooner, on the other hand, you were thankful things
went way better than expected, of course it was a demotion but you wouldn't have to work
directly with Javier anymore.
You excused yourself and left her room, going outside the building as you pretended you
didn't hear Javier's voice calling your name.
You stood at the sidewalk waiting for a chance to cross the street and felt his grip on your
wrist, pulling you to him and making you look at him.
"Goddamn it Y/N, not even today you can actually look at me and talk to me?" He asked
frustrated and pinched the bridge of his nose, when all he got from you was an eye roll.
"So you were just gonna flee the country and not tell anyone? One day I'd wake up to you
gone? Is it because of me?"
You sighed and looked at him, feeling a mix of exhaustion, sadness and impatience.
"I hate my job, Javier. I hate the people I work with, I hate Colombia. I know I sound horrible
when I say this, but I don't care about Escobar or what he does, I just stopped caring about all
this, I just stopped and asked myself what I was doing with my life, I'm not happy here, not
anymore, I have nothing to hold me back, so what's the point in staying anyway?"
He shook his head, he had no idea you felt like that, of course he knew he had hurt you,
pretty bad, but not to that extent. He felt a wave of guilt and regret.
"But what about us, cariño?"
You smiled sadly "there is no 'us' Javi. There never was. Listen, I'm very thankful for what
you did today, you saved me, you risked your physical integrity and your job just to make
sure I was safe, but we can't pretend things haven't happened between us" you explained to
him.
"Cariño, listen I want to apologize…"
"I don't wanna hear your apologies Javier, you don't mean them, it doesn't change how you
feel about me, so let's just get over this okay? Eventually I'll leave Colombia hopefully it will
be sooner than later and all this will be a fun story to tell your friends or something" you
shrugged.
Javi didn't let go of your wrist, he looked into your eyes, searching for some kind of breach
he could find affection or softness but there was nothing.
"No, you can't leave, I'll mi-"
"If you miss me you can just call that hooker I met the other night, she looks a lot like me,
you won't even notice the difference"
You turned your back to him and walked away, leaving Javier standing there, watching you
slip away from him even further.
•••
Your first day in the crime division started out great just by the fact you didn't have to see
Colleen's stupid face. You didn't know why you began hating the woman, she hadn't done
anything to you, in fact she'd always been kind of nice and very polite. But then, a memory
hit you: the day Javier complimented her nails and how every week after that she would show
up with a different nail polish, in hopes he'd pay attention to her again. Every time he took a
coffee break she would be there, lingering around like a ghost until she would find a pathetic
excuse to go and talk to him.
Then she would laugh too hard at his dumb jokes and would place her hand on his bicep,
pretending it was an innocent touch.
You groaned annoyed at the sudden memory and at the fact you were actually caring about
that, when you were literally not seeing them again. Of course you could still run into them in
the building, and mostly run into Javier in your apartment building, but you would have a
break from them from 9 to 5 and that was a good enough reason to be happy.
You shook your head clearing your mind and telling yourself you were just anxious about
working in a new division. Of course your tasks would be the same, but out go Escobar's files
and files and in come other police occurrences such as thefts and physical aggressions,
mostly coming from drunk guys who always got into fights with each other, or so you've told.
You were so distracted you didn't see a tall figure approaching you, you only felt that figure
when you bumped into him and almost lost your balance thanks to your high heels you put on
earlier in the morning trying to cause a good impression.
Of course you never hit the ground because the figure held by the waist, preventing you from
falling.
"Lo siento, señorita" he said and helped you up.
And then you looked at the mysterious figure.
He was taller than you, strong and had beautiful brown eyes. Not like Javi's, Javier's eyes
were from a deep brown, they made you think of chocolate, hot chocolate in a cold morning
to be more specific, but this guy… his eyes were light brown, the kind of color that shifts
according to the lights of the room, making them even greenish, and the eyelashes were
pretty long for a man, giving him an expressive look.
You were lost in his eyes. You fell for the stranger's eyes right there and then and your heart
raced when you noticed he had his hand on your waist.
"You must be Y/N, I'm agent Manuel Herrera, but you can call me Manu if you want" he
gave you a smile and you smiled back.
Manu explained you he was the one who was supposed to welcome you in the division but he
ran late after a new case came up.
You assured him it was fine and thanked him when he led you to your desk, helping you
empty your box and organize your working material.
"You know, Y/N, news travels fast here and we all know what happened to Carlos and rumor
has it you were responsible for it" he saw how you blushed and though you didn't deny or nor
confirm it, he could tell rumor was true. "Well, I just want you to say we are all relieved he's
not around anymore, he was an unpleasant guy and especially the ladies in the office really
appreciated what you did… or what you didn't do" he winked at you and excused himself.
And just like that, you realized you had a crush on Manu.
It happened fast, but it was so refreshing to know you could move on, you could get
interested in other guys. He was nice, smart, painfully handsome and for the first time since
you arrived in Colombia you hadn't thought of Javier's whereabouts or felt a pang of jealousy
to wonder if he would pick up a girl at a bar for the night or just call a brothel and have his
fuck delivered like chinese food.
After the first week, Manu gathered enough courage to invite you for lunch, he assumed you
would just hang out from the DEA people, but when he saw you were about to stay at your
desk during your lunch break, he invited you out.
First, he decided to take you to a small restaurant down the street, the food was good, the
price was reasonable but having his company was better.
Then, the next day, he took you to a small place that sold the best arepas you'd eaten in your
whole life.
Turns out, Javier really liked Arepas and he decided to have some for lunch, but when he was
about to step inside he saw you had another guy. He thought he'd seen the man before but he
couldn't remember exactly when, he knew he was a cop, but he just hadn't paid attention,
unlike you who had been clearly paying a lot of attention to him.
Javi felt his blood boiling at how beautiful you looked when you smiled at him and kept
telling him whatever you were so passionately talking about. He hadn't seen you since the
day at the Embassy, of course he'd caught glimpses of you leaving the building or arriving
when he was still in his car. He'd heard you at home, dragging your furniture around for your
monthly clean up, or when you put on some record and probably spent the evening singing
along. The smell of your cooking almost every damn night taunting him but none of that was
worse than when he caught just a whiff of your perfume in the hallway.
It was the worst part to him, because it reminded him you were still there, across the hall, a
few meters away from him, and yet you were no longer in his life. As if you were just a
memory, a ghost of his past, you were so out of reach it broke his heart.
And when he saw you smiling at that guy just like you used to smile at him, it gutted him.
He turned around before either of you could spot him and walked back to his car.
Javier couldn't believe that. You were really going on lunch dates with that guy? Sure he was
attractive, he figured, but didn't you like him? Then why were you out with that guy?
It just didn't make sense to him, he didn't want to believe you'd actually move on from him.
Javi hadn't really thought of the future, he knew the healthiest for you would actually move
on, you deserved someone good for you, someone who could make you happy, who could
treat you like you deserved being treated, someone that could give you a relationship where
you loved and you were loved, where you could trust your partner, where you could have a
family, get married, have kids, not someone who would screw things up in the first
opportunity.
But it stung.
Javier had no idea it would sting that bad. Saying had always been easier than doing, and
while he kept that protective speech over you, things were alright, but the moment the
possibility of it becoming true was presented before his eyes, god, that hurt.
He was at a loss of actions, he didn't know what to do or what to say. The rest of the
afternoon he spent off his game, with Murphy having to repeat himself over and over, Javi
asking the same questions, dropping his pen, fuck, he even spilled his coffee once. Because
all he could think of was you.
He decided to leave early and wait around until it was time for you to go home, feeling a
pang in his chest when he spotted the guy, Manu, he soon afterwards learned, walking you
home.
He hated that scene but he also couldn't look away, you seemed so happy, you talked and
smiled like you hadn't done it for months, like you hadn't done since he screwed things up.
And for the next few days that was what his routine turned into.
Javier would wake up early and watch you go to work, then he would take the stairs to the
lower floor when it was lunchtime and watch from afar as you and Manu went for lunch
together, then when you would come back, usually with a popsicle or a lollipop in hands, a
treat he always got you for dessert. On the weekends he would watch through the window as
you went out, knowing you were out to meet him. It was a habit that was consuming him, it
left a bitter taste in his mouth, it was like smoking a cigarette, no matter how harmful it was
to him, he just couldn't stop.
He only convinced himself it was time to let go when he saw Manu kissing your lips in front
of the apartment building. He wanted to yell, to drag you away from him, to make you
understand you shouldn't be with that guy, you should be with him, but he couldn't. There
was nothing he could do about it, he had lost you for good, he knew that, so he grabbed his
wallet, his car keys and drove downtown. He parked in front of the brothel he knew so well
and walked to the reception.
"Quiero a Mari y solamente a ella esta noche" he commanded, not wasting time in being
polite or flirty. He wanted a service, and it wasn't cheap, so he wasn't going to pretend he was
a nice guy. He wasn't one.
Mari showed up about fifteen minutes after, she had just washed her body and smiled at him
with fiery eyes, walking to the man and kissing his lips.
There she was, the version of you he could actually have, all he had to do was pay for it. She
resembled you, you both had a similar body type, similar hair and if he got intoxicated
enough, he could close his eyes and pretend he had your body against his.
"Vamos cariño, voy a llamarte de Y/N hoy" he whispered into her ear, pretending it was your
neck he kissed.
As they were both in the room, Javi sat on the bed and pulled her to his lap, kissing her and
burying his face between her breasts.
But she didn't smell like you, she didn't feel like you, and no matter how hard he tried
focusing and thinking of the night you'd kissed him, nothing happened.
Javi gasped and looked down ashamed and then back at the woman, who got off him and
didn't say anything. He ran his hands through his hair as he groaned in sheer frustration, he
just couldn't get hard.
She even tried to get him to action, but it wasn't happening, Javi was dragged each time to
your kiss with Manu. How he cupped you cheek and kissed your lips at the same time you his
tugged the hem of his shirt and pulled hid body closer to yours.
Javier left the brothel livid, he'd paid for the service he couldn't get and smoked a cigarette on
the street, blaming it on you and that man for everything bad that was happening to him.

•••
On Monday you separated a couple of files that had been sent to the wrong department and
got ready to take the elevator and go to upper floor. Ever since you started dating Manu, you
felt more confident about yourself and seeing Javier wasn't necessarily a problem. You knew
you'd made things pretty clear between the two of you and of course Colleen being the
envious puta she was, spread the news you were seeing a coworker to everybody, it wouldn't
surprise you if even Pablo's sicarios knew about your relationship.
It wasn't the first time documents had been misplaced and all you had to do was to leave them
on Murphy's desk and return, so you wanted to get things over with.
You passed by Colleen without giving her the time of the day, she annoyed you in a way it
was beyond words and you always preferred to think she didn't exist.
"Y/N!" She called a couple of times, making you stop and turn around "Steve and Javi aren't
here, so just you know…" you gritted your teeth and faked a smile.
"Thank you for your great service Colleen" you said and kept walking.
Your threw the files on Murphy's desk and couldn't help but glance at Carlos' old desk. As
you'd heard, apparently no one had been hired or promoted to take over his job, instead, all of
his investigation and internal job was assigned to both Murphy and Peña.
There was a time you would've probably got a great part of it, so you would help them with
the ridiculous amount of work coming in, but that time was gone and now you didn't have to
take over anyone's jobs, just doing your own and worrying about leaving work in time to
meet your handsome Manu.
However, you noticed some files and a big yellow envelope on his desk. You looked around
and saw the department was almost completely empty as it was almost time for the end of the
shift.
You didn't know exactly why you got so curious and let alone why you began fumbling
through those documents that certainly didn't concern you. But the yellow envelope dragged
your attention in a way you just felt attracted to it, as if your intuition was telling you to
check it.
You battled with yourself whether you should open it or not.
Correction: you shouldn't open it and you knew it, but for whatever reason you were so
curious about it and all you could read was 'CARLOS' written in capital letters, in red ink.
You told yourself it would be fine, just some intel from whoever Carlos' informant was.
Worst case scenario it would be something boring and you would just leave it on Steve's
desk.
So you took another glance around the room to make sure no one was watching you and
opened the envelope, gasping at the content inside.
After the stressful meeting with Messina, both Javi and Steve were in low spirits, Connie still
hadn't returned and the American agent had no motivation or reason to be home early, so he
invited Javier for a few drinks. However, Javi wasn't in the mood for that. He was tired,
stressed and the days seemed to be dragging on. He felt lonely and the less thing that still
brought him some pleasure was a delicate matter as he hadn't been able to get hard for any
women.
Sure, he could still rub one off thinking of Y/N, but each time he tried doing it with a woman,
it felt like he had some kind of block that wouldn't let him go further.
He dropped Steve off at the bar and drove home, shrugging at the idea Y/N was probably out
with her boyfriend on a cute date he'd rather think, because it was way more comforting than
picturing you sucking another man's cock.
He looked at your table and thought of knocking on it, maybe just to see you, hear your
voice, but he immediately gave up.
He got his key but frowned when he noticed his door was unlocked, which was alarming as
Javier was sure he'd locked the door before. He immediately got his gun, getting inside
silently and walking around, checking every dark corner for threats or unpleasant surprises.
Javier went speechless to find you sitting on his couch. It took him a moment to process how
the fuck you got inside, but then you remembered how you two had exchanged spair keys to
your apartments and completely forgot about it.
He was about to question you, when he heard your sniffs and saw you were crying. He went
completely soft and walked to you.
"Y/N" he whispered and knelt in front of you, concern flooding through his body as he
cupped your cheek and stroke it so gently. He wiped your tears with his thumb and you only
then realized how big his hands really were.
You shook your head and looked into his eyes, disappointment shattering your heart as you
gathered the courage to speak.
"What happened, cariño? Talk to me? Was it your boyfriend? Did he hurt you? Carlos?" He
asked as he stared at your with the biggest warmest brown eyes you'd ever seen.
You handed him the envelope and watched as Javi emptied it on his coffee table.
"Los Pepes, Javier?" You finally asked, as you both stared at pictures of him meeting up at a
bar with one of the group's sicarios.
"Since when you've been a double agent, Javi? Is all this a lie? How long have you been lying
to the DEA? To me?" You asked him, and the disappointment in your voice just ripped his
heart apart. You thought he was a dirty cop, he shook his head, feeling despair spread through
his body as he looked for words to explain to you the mess he got himself into.
But took his hand away from your face and wiped your tears.
"After everything that went on between us, I thought that at least you were a good cop,
Javi… I thought at least you would keep safe, but once again, I see I'm wrong" you
swallowed.
Javier couldn't handle you being that disappointed in him, it broke his heart and he just
couldn't live with you hating him as a whole.
He ran to you, pressing you against the wall and using his own body to trap you. He looked at
you and buried his face in the crook of you neck, taking in your intoxicating perfume, his
nose ghosting against your skin before you could feel his lips on it.
He mumbled something under his breath but you couldn't actually understand, you tried using
your arms to break free from his grip, but his kept yours in place.
He looked at you as he dragged his face over your cleavage, just in the curve of your breasts
he buried his face again, spreading small kisses all over your skin, he pulled your blouse
down exposing your cleavage a little more and kissed your breasts gently.
You were taken aback by his soft, gentle and desperate touch. Your body felt on fire but you
needed to fight that urge of submitting to him.
"I-I'm not gonna tell anyone, Javier. I promise" your voice was weak but you finally pushed
him away the moment he got distracted when he tasted your skin gently and panted.
"I'm not a dirty cop, Y/N. I'm not" he said looking just as broken and you realized that was
what he was mumbling against your neck, against your breasts. Javier was lost, when you
finally fled his apartment. He sat back on his couch, after pouring himself a scotch. He spent
hours staring into the void. There was nothing he could do to win you back. He had lost
everything, but most importantly, he'd lost you.
 SIX
Chapter Summary

You give Javi some time to explain his connection with Los Pepes and a conversation
makes you realize your feelings for Javier are still confusing.

Javier paced the room and rubbed his face, still not believing how all that shit happened.
He knew working with Los Pepes wasn't a smart move, but he was so done, so fed up and at
that moment, it was the only way out to stop Escobar's terrorism spree. If the cops weren't
strong enough, maybe the criminals who didn't agree with his ways could be.
He wasn't proud of it but after Carrillo's death he realized something should be done as fast as
possible. When a strong man like Carrillo was cowardly murdered in a trap, he saw anyone
could be killed like that. Fuck, Murphy and himself should've been there, they should've been
dead by then and the only reason they got away was pure luck.
He could deal with his self hatred, with his shame and how low he got, but he couldn't deal
with all that coming from you.
He wasn't stupid, you were both past that point, you did hate him, and you couldn't stand him,
but until then, no matter how bad he hurt you, it was on the personal side. Not that it hurt any
less, but he knew it was bound to happen, he always screwed things up and even if he hadn't
pushed you away at that moment, he would break your heart one way or another.
But he still had your respect as a cop, as an agent, especially after he'd saved you from
Carlos, you still admired him professionally, but now? He was sure he was nothing to you.
He didn't know what options he had now, if had any at all, you'd said you wouldn't tell
anyone, but were you telling the truth? Maybe he scared you off acting like a creep earlier,
but he couldn't control himself, it just happened and when he realized, he was already
pressing your body against the wall, he already had his lips on your skin, it was a sudden
need, his body ached for it and all he wanted to do at that moment was to show you he wasn't
a dirty cop and he still your Javi.
Your Javi.
He wished he was still your Javi, he missed that dearly.
He thought of lighting up another cigarette but gave up, getting the envelope in hands and
crossing the hall. He knocked on your door insistently. He knew you were there and he hadn't
seen any indications your prince charming was around, so he waited patiently until you
opened it.
His jaw tightened the moment he saw you wrapped in nothing but a towel, you had just got
out of the shower and his cock twitched inside his tight jeans. Fuck, you were gorgeous and
your body was tempting and inviting. If he could, he would just wrap his arms around your
body and press you against the wall. He wouldn't have strength to take you to the bathroom,
he would just get on his knees and eat your pussy right there and then before fucking you in
the middle of your living room.
You, on the other hand, managed to calm down after you locked yourself inside, you stopped
crying and tried to rationalize things instead of leaving it to your heart. You felt crushed at
finding out Javier was involved with drug dealers, you could never expect that from him, you
always assumed Javi was one of the best agents DEA had in Colombia, his work results were
really impressive, you knew how much this job took a toll on the agents, how dark and
depressed they eventually got, it was the kind of duty that often broke them, and yet you'd
seen Javier being so human at work more than once.
Before he treated you like garbage and you fell out, you had plenty examples of what a sweet
man he could be.
He was so kind to people, to you, to kids, and even if he insistently said he wasn't much of a
cat person, he still fed the stray one that walked around the building some leftovers.
So could he really be a double agent?
You weren't sure, but apparently he desperately wanted you to believe he was not a dirty cop.
He was so desperate he repeated that over and over, while his face was buried in the crook of
your neck and his lips dragging small kisses on your skin, or when he had his face buried
between your breasts and was getting so dangerously close to your nipples.
Just the mere memory of it was enough to bring that familiar tingle back in a place that
longed for a man's touch.
So when you realized Javier was working his sinister power of making you inappropriately
turned on, you knew it was time to go for a shower.
You even managed to relax and get your mind off that for a while but when you heard knocks
on the door, you knew your torment was about to begin again.
Funny how you just knew it was Javier knocking on your door, you didn't have any external
clue, just a hunch it would be him, and once you opened the door, there he was.
You could tell his monkey brain had forgotten absolutely every word he had rehearsed telling
you the moment he saw you standing there with only one towel around your body. Of course
it wasn't appropriate but at that point you were just so tired you invited him inside and told
him to lock the door.
You turned your back to him and disappeared into the hallway, leaving your bedroom only
when you were finally fully clothed. The disappointment in his eyes was visible and you just
wanted to scoff at his nerve in thinking that after everything you would still welcome him
naked and fuck him on the couch just like one of those cheap porn movies he probably
enjoyed watching.
"What are you doing here, Javier? I thought we'd already talked about everything… I know I
have nothing else to say to you"
Javi placed both hands on his waist and nodded "I know you don't, but I gotta tell you a few
things and you will listen to me"
You rubbed your forehead and weighed your options: you could either willingly let Javier
explain himself or you could ask him to leave and that would lead into another argument and
accusations and you were just exhausted of that, not to mention Javier has his ways of
making you hear, he proved that earlier by almost making you cheat on your boyfriend.
You were really enjoying your relationship with Manu, but you also knew Javier and how
powerful his touch was and you also knew yourself enough not to trust the two of you so
close like that. You just couldn't play with fire.
So you got up, grabbed a bottle of wine, two glasses and allowed Javier to start.
You listened through one, two, three, four glasses of wine.
Javi made sure to explain to you detail by detail, how he felt the night Carrillo executed those
boys and how he began losing faith in the police. Then Carrillo was executed in a humorless
action of destiny and he turned to the most unlikely ally to defeat Pablo Escobar.
You didn't interrupt him and once Javier had finished his account you could see he got even
more relaxed, of course it could just be the effect of alcohol but he was so relieved he didn't
have to keep that secret all by himself and he could finally feel like a weight had been lifted
off his shoulder.
He killed the rest of the wine and stared at you, waiting for what you had to say.
You shook your head and sighed, letting all his words sink in.
Javier wasn't a double agent, he kinda was actually, but he didn't benefit from that deal with
Los Pepes, and he didn't give them privileged information from the DEA unless it was about
Pablo's sicarios whereabout. The body count that grew each passing day had a lot of Peña's
doing. But none of those dead bodies when they were still alive were good people, and they
wouldn't hesitate to do much worse than what Javier was doing.
In conclusion, what Javier was doing was wrong, but you didn't really care, you knew he was
helping make the streets safer even if it was in a twisted way.
What really concerned you was his integrity. It was dangerous, and what if they thought he
wasn't useful anymore? What would happen to him? You remembered you left him waiting
for words of support or despise or anything at all, what he couldn't bear was the silence.
"I don't like this, Javi" you admitted and bit your lips "it's dangerous, if the DEA finds out
about it, you can lose your badge, you can go to jail! And that's not even the worst part: you
can get yourself killed!"
He knew you were right and he wished he could turn back in time and undo all the shit he
had done, he hated to see how worried you were, the hint of disbelief and disappointment that
still lingered there.
"Just like Steve's cat!"
You quickly added and saw how Javi let out some belly chuckles at your words. For some
reason that sounded inappropriately funny and you couldn't help but laugh as well, the best
example you could think of was a dead cat and for whatever reason it amused Javier.
It'd been a really long time since you two had shared a laugh and you only realized how much
you truly missed it at that moment. He was able to calm down and took a deep breath, going
oddly silent and took your hand, holding it in his
"If I were killed, would you care?"
He asked you in a low, shy voice and tried reading your expression, he just needed to know if
you still had any good feelings left for him or if he had just screwed things up royally and
there was nothing left of the two of you.
You stared at him in disbelief, biting your lips as you observed his sweet brown eyes, making
you melt on the inside. You liked Manu's eyes, but now you were so close to Javi, you were
sure no one could beat his warm pools of brown, looking like a lost puppy craving for love.
"Javi" you whispered and saw how big his hand was compared to yours, how his long fingers
stroked your skin in a caress "of course I would care… I-I think I would die too"
You admitted and saw how his expression got indecipherable this time, you felt so exposed,
so raw to admit that, but when he pulled you for a hug you knew you had done the right thing
by being honest with Javi. You also needed to be honest with yourself. You still had pretty
strong feelings for Javier, he was your everything, you wanted to make things work with
Manu, but Javi owned your heart in a way you thought no other man ever would.
"I think you should go home now, Javi" you told him gently and he nodded, he knew now
you still had feelings for him, and he had feelings for you, but Javier decided to do the
honorable thing and step away. For once, he was going to respect your decision and only if
you admitted to yourself first and to him you wanted him, he would be with you.
•••

"So, Connie's back and we're having a barbecue so we want to invite you, Y/N" Steve said
with a grin as you stood by his desk. Once more, some documents and files had been
delivered wrongly to your department and you had to take a trip to the DEA division to hand
it over.
You felt kind of guilty to think the last time you were there and you went snooping through
Carlos' desk and found the evidence on Javier. You knew the correct thing would be giving
them to Steve and reporting Javier for his illicit actions, but you couldn't bring yourself to do
it. Instead, you gave them to Javier and promised you wouldn't say a thing.
Still, your eyes ran around the room, silently checking for another yellow envelope like that,
whoever took those pictures and tried ratting on Javi could try doing it again.
You realized you weren't paying attention to Steve, so he just laughed softly, he'd been in
great spirits ever since his wife returned. So he didn't even care if the world was falling into
pieces.
"I said you can take Manu if you'd like, and maybe Javi can bring his girlfriend" he winked at
the two of you and thought it was even more amusing to see how Javi shot you desperate,
puppy eyes at his joke.
"I don't have a girlfriend…" he said embarrassedly and you nodded, rolling your eyes at
Steve "you're very funny, Steve, we missed that" you smirked and said goodbye to them.
After that night, you and Javi were on speaking terms again, though you didn't have much to
talk about - or the things you did want to talk about weren't so appropriate.
Steve looked down at his desk and noticed your forgotten your notebook. You often carried
with you taking notes and writing down important stuff.
He grabbed it and saw when something fell from inside of it. He frowned curiously and
laughed as he saw it was a picture from Javier.
"Hey Jav… Y/N forgot her notebook here, you should go and hand it to her" he called his
friend's attention and placed the notebook and the picture down.
Javier frowned and took it into his hands. He couldn't believe it. It was a picture of himself
and his horse, from the last time he'd been home. It was taken at his dad's ranch and he had
his characteristic sunglasses on and a big smile on his face.
Javi usually kept that picture in a portrait in his living room, he'd seen you staring at it before,
always complimenting his smile and making him blush, in a dorky way he always felt
embarrassed.
He had noticed the picture seemed to have disappeared a few months ago but didn't actually
care a lot about it, he had so many other things to worry about other than that.
However, the mystery was solved and now he knew where it'd gone.
He checked the back of the polaroid and felt his cheeks heating up and felt so thankful
Murphy hadn't paid attention to it, otherwise he would be teased for the rest of his miserable
life.
He recognized your handwriting immediately and he didn't understand why you'd written
that, but it brought a smile to his lips, feeling a warmth spread through his chest.

"Javi és el fuego que arde mi piel ♡ "

He shook his head and got up, taking the elevator and going straight to your floor. He felt a
sudden need to see you, it wasn't enough, he wanted to hand you the picture, see your face
when you realized he knew about your habit of stealing from his place.
He saw you focused on the piles of paper in front of you and took a second to admire how
beautiful you were, he cursed himself under his breath for the hundredth time for being such
a moron, if he had played his cards right, you could have been his by now and he would be
the luckiest motherfucker in the world, but now he only had crumbles of your attention and it
was already good enough because it was much more than what he deserve it.
"You forgot your notebook, cariño" he said with his usual smirk, leaning his body against
your desk and watching you.
You looked up at him and couldn't help but allow yourself to smile, it was just so Javi and it
reminded you of good times.
You took the notebook from his hand but he caught your fingers in his grip "rojo te sale muy
bien, cariño" he said, looking at your red nails and winking at you.
You didn't have enough time to answer, when Manu patted Javier's shoulder, drawing his
attention
"Agent Peña, I don't appreciate when you talk like that with my girlfriend, I'd like you to
keep respectful" the younger man said politely and turned to you, pecking your lips gently,
which caused Javi to look away.
You said goodbye to Manu, promising to meet him later, though the situation embarrassed
you a little, you also felt pretty good about the scene Javier just witnessed. One peck on the
lips would never hurt him as much as the image of him and a hooker that looked like you hurt
your feelings, but if he looked bothered and that was a victory for you.
You could tell Javi gritted his teeth and licked his lips softly, raising an eyebrow at you
"So you guys are an item for real?"
You tilted your head and nodded
"Well, yeah… it's recent, but it is a nice relationship"
Javier shrugged in disdain and bit the inside of his cheek
"It's surprising, I figured you could do better than Manuel"
You scoffed and laughed at the nerve he got, nor believing he had the guts to talk about Manu
like that.
"Yeah? And who would be better, you?"
Yes, me.
That was the first thing that crossed Javi's mind, squinting his eyes softly as a heat spread in
his lower belly, he felt so annoyed at your sassy, bitchy reply, before things happened you had
never been this bratty towards him, and at the same time he felt a hint of annoyance
something else woke inside of him.
He felt like he wanted to teach you a lesson, punish you so you wouldn't be all sarcastic
towards him, and more importantly, you wouldn't look for another cock than his. He would
bend you over his lap, lift that slutty skirt up and give you one, two, three swats, watching as
his handprint would be there, in a delicious shade of red, marking your beautiful cheeks as
his, at the same time he would pull your panties to the side, spread your legs a little and he
would shove his fingers into your soaked cunt, making you whimper as he finger fucked you
and you had to rub your clit on his rough jeans to help you get your relief.
Instead, Javier just sighed and placed his polaroid on your desk.
"I'm still a DEA agent, I could have you arrested for theft, Y/N" he said before straightening
up his body and walking away, leaving you mortified at the fact he'd found out you'd stolen
that picture of him.

•••
"So, what's Peña's deal with you?" Manu asked as he filled your glass of wine and got
comfortable on the couch. It wasn't the first time he had been to your apartment, but it was
the first time he was going to spend it there with you and that made you a little nervous.
Steve's barbecue would be the next day so you figured it would make sense to have your
boyfriend spend the night over, instead of making him drive back and forth.
You thanked him for the wine and took a long sip, finding the right words to tell Manu.
You didn't want to lie, but you also couldn't tell him the truth… how would he react to
knowing you were crazy about Javier Peña? You were sure he wouldn't take things well, who
wouldn't? Javier had such a reputation, it wouldn't work.
"Well, Javi-Javier and I were very good friends, we used to be close friends" you began "and
I know how that sounds, but I never had sex with him or anything remotely close to it, I did
develop some kind of a crush, but it faded with time" there it was, your first lie.
"We had some disagreements and we fell out with each other, then he kept his distance and I
did the same as he was engaged in some peculiar relationship…" second lie.
But you couldn't screw things up with Manu, you couldn't tell him the whole reason why you
fell out with Javier was because you kissed and he felt guilty about being a dick, and then he
made things even worse by hiring your lookalike hooker, how could you just dump all that on
him?
Luckily to you, Manu was a ray of sunshine, he was a truly nice guy and deep down you
knew he was way better than you deserved it. He softened up and smiled, leaning in and
kissing you.
One kiss led to a second, then a third and when you realized, Manu had you under him. His
cock was buried deep inside of your cunt and though you were wet, something was missing.
You didn't know exactly what, you rubbed your clit at the same time he pounded into you but
it wasn't the same you were expecting to feel.
It was weird, you couldn't exactly tell what was off, but something was indeed off and you
didn't know what to do.
You closed your eyes and tried focusing on moving your hips against your boyfriend's but
suddenly a flash of brown eyes appeared in your mind. You shook your head unconsciously,
but your mind wouldn't just obey you, suddenly you were imagining a mustache scratching
your skin, as familiar lips kissed you down.
Your imagination was so vivid you could practically feel Javier's fingers on your body, his
touch, his arms holding you and that set a fire into you you didn't think you were holding in.
And then you moaned. Loud.
You finally began enjoying yourself, each thrust you pretended it was Javier fucking you,
making you one of his whores and it wasn't right, it was disgusting and it sent you to a very
messy orgasm.
Javi walked down the hall carrying some groceries bag he got after postponing it forever and
now he finally had food to make himself dinner.
He got some drinks to take to Steve's barbecue the next day and also a bottle of your favorite
wine, maybe he could knock on your door later and invite you over for a glass, now you guys
were on speaking terms again and maybe you'd enjoy it, right?
He looked for his keys in his jacket pocket absentmindedly when he heard muffled sounds.
He thought it was odd and looked around, but this time the sounds were louder, enough to be
heard in the hallway.
He frowned as an anxiety crept up in his chest, as the possibility of a scenario formed in his
head.
But it couldn't be true.
It wouldn't, would it?
He swallowed and walked to your door, he didn't feel proud of it but he needed to be sure.
He placed his ear against the door and gasped when he recognized what kind of noises were
those.
You were moaning.
Javier didn't know how to describe what he felt, it was like his limbs went numb at the same
time he felt his whole body heating up in an unpleasant way as his heart raced.
Jealousy, anger, bitterness, rage, it all took over him.
He couldn't believe you were letting that boy fuck you like a bitch.
He wanted to break into your apartment and take that piece of shit away from you. He wanted
to pull you by the hair, bend you over on your cute coffee table and pound you from behind,
he wanted to make you moan like that. He wanted your red nails scratching down his back,
he wanted you calling his name as he brought you to the best orgasm you could have. He
wanted his sheets soaked with your honey, he wanted to be drowning in your juices, he
wanted his mouth on your nipples, on your clit, on your ass. He wanted his cum to drop down
every part of your body, but he couldn't have it because you were someone else's.
He stepped away from your side of your hallway as if it burned him and went to his place,
fumbling with the lock and just throwing the bags inside.
He immediately turned around and walked back to his car. There was no way he would stay
home that night, not when he could hear you being fucked by another man across the hall.
 SEVEN
Chapter Summary

Javier got jealous of you and you boyfriend and that leads to an argument, but once he
needs your help, you find yourself compelled to help him

You woke up in a great mood the next morning. You were naked in bed and you felt the
slightest hint of desire in your lower belly as you felt the presence behind your stirr.
You giggled happily and sank your face into the pillow, thinking of last night and the flashes
you had of his hands on your body, his lips, his mouth, everything… and the way the same
lips trailed kisses down your neck.
"Mm Javi" you whimpered and bit your lips.
"What did you say?" Manu's voice snapped you out of your drunk feeling of sleep and post
orgasm and you widen your eyes open. You closed your eyes again "shit" you mouthed and
slowly turned to him, giving him a wide smile as if nothing happened
"I said good morning baby" you told your boyfriend and blushed softly, hoping he would buy
it, after all you had whispered in a low voice, besides, who assure you you had actually said
Javier's name? Maybe you were still sleeping after all. However, as much as you would love
to trick yourself and pretend nothing happened so you wouldn't feel guilty, you had to face
the truth. You literally fantasized about Javier Peña while having sex with your boyfriend.
Not only that, you only came because you kept picturing Javier making you cum and wet his
bedsheets with your squirt while Manu tried his best, because you were sure that your
boyfriend wouldn't be able to make you do that, not even if he spent the whole day
overstimulating you. Javi on the other hand, would be able to make you pour like a fountain
in a blink of an eye.
Manu tried his best and you appreciated that… but then, that was his best? Which meant sex
with him wouldn't be anything better than what you experienced? You guessed the expression
you were looking for was just that. It felt so basic, so bland, and you felt so guilty about
summing your relationship up to only that.
You finally had met a nice guy, someone who treated you well and you could feel safe with,
so maybe complaining about sex was something shallow? But on the other hand, sex was
very important for a relationship, so it was a big deal.
Manu grumbled and nodded "morning princesa, I'll make us breakfast" he kissed your
shoulder and got up.
You frowned.
Princesa, he had called you princesa. It sounded so weird, usually Javier was the one who
called you that and you loved it, but another man using the same word caused you a weird
feeling.
You tried ignoring your own thoughts and went to shower, you wanted to get rid of the sweat,
the sticky feeling on your skin and get ready for your day. You still needed to work on your
potato salad and a batch of brownies for dessert, just like you'd promised Connie. You would
meet up in a few hours for the barbecue, it would be in the patio of your apartment building
and Steve was probably already setting up the grill outside, maybe Javier was helping him.
Javier.
He was back in your mind and you didn't seem to catch a break, you hadn't been that hooked
on him since you realized you'd fallen in love with that son of a bitch nearly a year ago, and
now, even if you had a boyfriend, you were going through a better phase in your job, he was
still there, haunting you.
You rinsed your hair and grabbed the soap, washing down your body when you got distracted
again.
Your mind went back to the night you found out about his involvement with Los Pepes, how
desperate he got, the way he pressed himself against you and began kissing your skin. How
got so close to your breasts and you once again let your mind wander and allowed yourself to
imagine what would've happened if he pulled your bra a little further, if he'd seen your
nipples hardening in front of him. He would massage your tits, you were sure of it, he would
squeeze them, pinch your nipples before kissing each of them and lick them.
But he wouldn't be satisfied with it yet, you were sure of it. You just knew he would suckle
on your nipples and make you whimper louder than one of his prostitutes.
An obscene thought occurred to you as you pictured Javi licking your tits: had he ever been
with a pregnant woman? If so, had he ever tried her breast milk?
You didn't know where that came from and it got you even more weirded out to picture
yourself, pregnant with his baby letting him try the warm droplets that dripped down your
breasts.
You scoffed at yourself, Javier wasn't trusth worthy to be fuck buddies, let alone the father of
your child, and yet, the scenario made your clit throb.
And before you couldn't stop yourself, you had your fingers inside of your slippery pussy,
pretending they were his fingers instead.
Coming back to the other night, you enjoyed picturing that if you hadn't pushed him away
and locked yourself in your apartment, you would probably get down on your knees and blow
his cock.
You hadn't seen Javier naked, but you felt his cock a couple of times when he hugged you
and accidentally let your body too close to his waist. His pants were tight and he was big, and
you were suspicious you occasionally gave him a boner or two by accident. So you felt he
was big, it seemed that way.
So you pictured yourself freeing his cock, watching his tip glistening with pre cum and taking
it to your mouth, sucking his dick while he would grip your hair and you would stroke his
base.
Then you just knew you would massage his balls and lick them too, his balls would be so
heavy carrying all the thick load he would empty on your pretty face.
And with that dirty, obscene fantasy, you managed to cum, biting your lips so you wouldn't
make a lot of noise. And without even knowing, Javier had sent you to a delicious orgasm for
the second time in less than 24 hours.
When you came down to your senses, you sighed disappointed in yourself, feeling another
wave of guilt. As if it wasn't bad enough you'd fantasized about the guy while your boyfriend
was on top of you, now you were finger fucking yourself thinking of him, your boyfriend just
a few meters away from you in the kitchen making you waffles for breakfast and you rubbing
one off for the guy next door.
You stared at your own reflection in the mirror as you brushed your teeth.
Just as guilt came, it quickly faded. You didn't know exactly what had changed in this whole
Javier-Y/N mess you'd been living, but after the Los Pepes night - you decided to call it that
way - it was like you were letting your guard down around Javier, and in the worst way:
sexually.
You felt so tired of behaving like a nice woman, like a decent person and there was a side of
you that just wished you could drop everything you had in life and surrender to Javier. You
literally felt like whoring around and of course, you'd learned from the best.
So what was really stopping you from knocking on his door and letting him fuck you?
Your boyfriend for instance, you reminded yourself. Manu was such a nice person, you liked
him, but you didn't desire him.
And the way Javier looked at you and asked you if you were gonna care if he got killed
maybe you want to slap him in the face. How dare he think otherwise? How dare he think
you wouldn't be utterly broken? Yes, he was an asshole, but he was your asshole and you
hated to even think of that possibility.
When Manu knocked on the door you finally went back to your senses. What the fuck was all
that that crossed your mind? It was like you were put under a spell while in the shower.
How could you even consider going after Javier after everything? Or when you had a nice
relationship right there?
You decided to lie to yourself some more, at least it was a safe space for now.

•••
Javier groaned as he stepped outside and immediately put on his sunglasses. The warm
weather and the sun bothered him deeply, especially at the little sleep he got the night before.
Well, not exactly the night before, because he'd spent the whole night drinking his anger and
jealousy away. After what he heard coming from your apartment, coming from your mouth,
he couldn't bear being in the same place as you, and especially not being in the same place as
your stupid boyfriend.
Javier wanted to kick that door open, get him away from you, but he couldn't do it. It wasn't
his place to do it anymore, you'd made your choice and unfortunately he wasn't part of it. So
he decided to go out and drink. Of course he could go to a brothel, find himself some
company, but he couldn't even trust his own self with that, he'd been so disturbed by
everything that went on that the last couple of times he tried doing it he just couldn't get hard.
It felt like you were haunting him, your image always lingered around and he couldn't break
free from your spell, your presence, your love…
But nothing really mattered anymore, you were with someone else, and judging by the noises
you were making you were enjoying every second of it. It pained him, but at the same time
he knew it was what you deserved it: someone to love you and make you happy.
Even if it was the right thing, it still hurt him pretty bad. It twisted his guts, left a lump in his
throat and the rush of adrenaline turned into a blinding rage he could kill your boyfriend with
just a few punches.
So Javier sat down at a dirty table in some sketchy bar and drank one shot after the other.
He managed to get home in the morning, god knows how, and blacked out on his couch.
He didn't sleep nor rested, he literally passed out. However, a shower and a cigarette later, he
was ready for Murphy's barbecue. He'd rather skip it and avoid facing you and Manu, but if
he did it so, he would have to explain to Steve why he wasn't there, or worse, Steve could just
knock on his door and make things more embarrassing for him. So he sucked it up and went
to help his friend with the grill and the burgers, greeting Connie on his way and
complimented her looks, being just the tiniest bit of flirt, as usual of Javier Peña, just a
respectful way to remind women how pretty they were.
You, on the other hand, managed to avoid Manu's kisses during breakfast and after putting
the brownies in the oven, you got to the egg salad. He was all the time hovering around you,
certainly wanting to repeat last night's activities but you weren't in the mood.
Correction: you weren't in the mood with him, but you couldn't simply fantasize about Javier
to get started so your boyfriend could have a quickie when you were just a couple of hours
away from seeing him. How could you even look Javier in the eye after all the dirty thoughts
you had of him? How could you act normal knowing the only reason why you had two mind
blowing orgasms was thinking of him touching you, making you his and treating you like a
slut?
You sighed as you finished peeling the potatoes and felt relieved to see Manu had given up
trying to make up with you and went to get changed.
As you got yourself into nicer clothes, you knew it was time to go and just hoped everything
would be alright.
Manu helped you carry the dishes as you went to the patio and found Steve, Connie and Javi.
Olivia was playing with a doll and as soon as she spotted you, she smiled big, extending her
little arms to you and wanting you to pick her up.
You placed the bowl with your potato salad down and went to pick up the little girl. You
lifted her up and twirled around holding her making her giggle "hi princess!!! I missed you!"
You said excitedly and tickled her small tummy, earning some other adorable giggles from
her.
Javier watched you from afar. His gaze wouldn't leave you for a single moment, hidden under
his sunglasses, he took in all of you, of your body, of your clothes and how carefree and
happy you were around Olivia. The way you smiled and played with her, as you thought no
one was watching you was making it very difficult for him to hate you. He scoffed at himself,
he could never bring himself to hate you, but he was trying to keep himself angry, because
that was the only way he could be away and not screw things up between you and your
boyfriend again.
But you always made his life so damn hard, especially when you were all gorgeous in your
summer dress holding a giggly little princess in your arms.
Javier suddenly was taken back to the green fields of his dad's ranch in Laredo.
He could easily see you there, playing with a couple of toddlers - a boy and a girl - as the
three of you would feed and pet the horses.
Then, when the sun was setting, the kids would all run to him calling him daddy and fighting
each other to be the first one to hug him.
And then you would walk to him, all sun kissed, smelling like jasmine and coconut and
would wrap your arms around his neck, welcoming your husband after a long day of hard
work. A golden ring around your finger would be more than enough to show the whole town
you were Mrs.Peña.
Where the fuck was that coming from?
Javier nearly dropped his can of beer when he realized where his mind wandered, he couldn't
believe his brain betrayed him like that.
Since when was he the kind of man who would envision himself as a good husband and
decent father of two? That was bonkers, he never wanted to be tied down, let alone be a
father.
You were standing a few meters away from him with your boyfriend, the kind of guy who
would probably give you that lifestyle because Manu was that kind of guy. Javier wasn't.
"Y/N… can you help me bring some plates?" Connie asked you sweetly and you nodded,
putting Olivia down and promising you'd be there soon to play with her.
You followed Connie upstairs and walked into her apartment, it was everything very
organized and cleaned. You couldn't help but smile at the pictures on the wall of herself and
Steve, on their wedding day, their honeymoon and also pictures with Olivia.
Connie separated the plates she wanted to take downstairs "so… new boyfriend?" She raised
her eyebrow and saw you blushing softly.
"Yeah… it's very recent"
"Well, he is very handsome… not Javier handsome, but still…" Connie chuckled at how
shocked and surprised you got.
"What do you mean, Connie?" You asked clearing your throat, trying to show your
nervousness
"Well, it was pretty obvious to all of us you liked Javi… more than friends, and Javi likes you
too, Steve told me so… I mean, Javier hasn't said anything but Steve sees a lot more than it
seems and he is positive Javier has romantic feelings for you. Judging by the way he was
staring at you earlier, I am sure he does too" Connie gave you a sweet smile "and I think you
still like him… listen, Steve told me everything that happened and honestly I think you were
very right to completely ignored him at first, but he also told me about Carlos and how Javier
protected you" Connie grabbed herself a glass of water and downed in one sip, she was
sweaty and you could tell she suffered a lot with the weather in Colombia.
"What I'm trying to say is that if you two like each other then sometimes it is alright to give
in and forgive. Look at me and Steve, I thought I was doing what was best for myself and our
daughter but it turns out all I did was waste precious time with my husband. Sometimes we're
too proud and we miss out on people we love, so maybe you should talk to Javier, see what
really goes on between the two of you" she placed her hand on your shoulder and smiled.
You carried the plates silently as her words wouldn't leave you alone. She did have a point,
maybe you needed to talk to Javier, the tension, the unspoken feelings, the fact that
sometimes it was so obvious you had feelings for each other and sometimes you couldn't read
him even if your life depended on it, was making you stressed out.
"I'm sorry honey, can you go grab some other silverware? I forgot to bring them downstairs"
Connie pouted and asked you very nicely, you nodded and quickly made your way upstairs,
you were lost in your thoughts and didn't really pay attention where you were going, so you
only realized you were standing right in front of Javier was when he stopped literally inches
before bumping into you.
You noticed how he towered you, he was strong and a bit intimidating even, being so close to
him and smelling his cologne got you thinking maybe Connie wasn't so wrong and maybe
you should talk to him. You realized you'd let your walls down a while back and you could
no longer act tough and unbothered by him, instead, each time you two saw each other you
couldn't help but smile brightly again.
"Hey Javi… you okay?" You frowned softly as you saw he was kind of pale and had dark
bags under his eyes, maybe he was coming down with something?
He frowned and shot daggers at you, he'd removed his sunglasses inside.
"Sure, just couldn't get to sleep at night with the neighbor across the hall moaning louder than
a pornstar" he spat and gritted his teeth.
You were mortified. You had absolutely no idea he could hear you from his apartment, you
didn't know you'd been that loud, no wonder Manu wanted a second round in the morning, he
thought all that was for him. If only he knew…
And Javier was pissed off too, that was unexpected.
"Oh god, that's embarrassing, I'm sorry…"
"You're right, Y/N, it's fucking embarrassing" he replied in a rude way which began bothering
you, who was he to talk about that? He was the guy who used to have girls over nearly every
week, it didn't matter if they were paid or not, but very often you heard noises coming from
his apartment, so he had no right to complain about that. "You and that dick shouldn't be
making that much noise, it bothers people. It's rude, it's not what decent women do"
You stiffened and returned him the same cold gaze, Javier Peña had such nerve it made you
want to stab him sometimes.
"You're right, decent women don't do that, that's why this kind of noises always came from
your apartment Javier and all the women you picked up, because you simply can't get in a
relationship with someone slightly decent, your partners reflect your personality!" You took a
deep breath "it hurts, doesn't it? It hurts to hear someone we like, someone we care about
with another person. Thinking that you could be there with them, but knowing you are simply
not good enough or not the best option" you said "I hope you heard me through the whole
thing, I hope you heard me cumming for my boyfriend…" Well, that was a lie, but Javier
didn't have to know about it. "... I hope it has hurt you, because that's exactly how I felt every
time I saw women come and go into your apartment when you knew damn well I was in love
with you!"
Javi didn't expect you to be so blunt about it, he thought you wouldn't admit it and you were
right, it did hurt, it felt horrible, he didn't want to ever feel like that again, and now he was
even more sure of the asshole he was to you this whole time.
"What's so special about him, after all? What makes like him to the point of acting like a wh-
"
He stopped himself right there before he could screw things up more than he already had.
"Like what, Javi? Like a whore?" You asked with hurt in your voice "I am not a whore, and
you know that. It's not my fault if you're jealous because you lost me… why do you do this?
Why do you try to push me away whenever things are improving between us?" You stared at
him "you wanna know why I like Manu? Take a good look at him, he's the whole package.
He's handsome, younger, stronger, taller, he's not a fucking dirty cop. I think the real question
here would be asking yourself why did I ever like you, Javier!" You spat back at him, not
having any of his shit.
You thought he would backfire at you, but instead, Javier looked down and nodded, putting
his sunglasses on one more time.
"You're right, cariño" he said in defeat "you shouldn't like me, I'm no good" surprising you,
he cupped your cheek with his big hand, stroking it gently, and against all odds you leaned
into it. "I tried pushing you away because it hurts less when you're not around, I lost you Y/N
and there's nothing I can do about it"
Javi turned around and grabbed his coat before exiting the building.

•••
The barbecue didn't go much further than after Javier left. You guys sat down, ate and you
helped Connie with the dishes, Manu and Steve chatted about business as Olivia played
nearby. It could've been a real nice time among friends if you hadn't argued with Javier. But it
puzzled you, it wasn't a normal argument, it was something else, it felt almost as an apology,
or as a goodbye.
You shook that thought off immediately, a shiver ran down your spine as you couldn't even
bear the possibility of that happening. Still, ever since he left, you had an urge to see Javier
again. You wanted to check on him, make sure he was alright. You didn't know if it was a gut
feeling, your sixth sense or just good old anxiety keeping you company, but you didn't like
the way his eyes looked empty when he left, you would only calm down when you saw him
again. You knew he was probably buried deep inside some Colombian prostitute, probably
making her scream his name but you didn't care, you didn't feel angry after your argument,
you felt just sad.
It didn't feel right to rub Manu on his face, especially because you didn't even like Manu that
much, you just wanted to hurt Javier for being a cocky motherfucker and you felt really
guilty about it. You didn't know if it made sense you felt guilty about it, but you knew you
were past that point. You were caught in your own trap and at the same time you wanted to
kill Javi, he was the only one you craved.
So after Connie's dishes were perfectly done, you half lied to Manu saying you'd need some
time off because you had a headache. You just occasionally didn't mention your headache
went by the name of Javier Peña.
And Manu, being the sweetest and most comprehensive boyfriend on earth, gladly accepted
your excuse and went home. He was such a great boyfriend it was starting to become
annoying. Or you were starting to come up with reasons to break up with him, after all, you
had a good deal with him and you had a bad deal with Javil and of course you were leaning
towards the bad one.
So you spent the rest of your day by your door, you were completely silent, no TV, no music
just you and a book you were too distracted and anxious to concentrate and actually read it,
you just paid attention to every single noise coming from the hallway in hopes it would be
Javier arriving home. You thought of using the spare key you had - and you still hadn't
returned him - to wait for him in his apartment, but you stopped yourself at the fear of
witnessing him arriving with another woman. That would break your heart again, not to
mention it would be awkward to everyone as hell.
So you waited, and waited, and waited until you decided it was time to give up and go to bed,
it would be another night of the countless you'd spent before hoping Javier would be in the
comfort and safety of his home when in reality he was out whoring around.
You had changed into your nightgown and was ready to get under your blankets when you
heard mumbling and stumbling coming from outside. Your heart raced and you could tell it
was Javier's voice. He was cursing in Spanish and struggling to unlock his door and your
heart clenched at the thought of him making out with a woman outside. For a moment you
thought of not opening your door, but you realized you could hear only Javier and no one
else.
Curiosity took the best of you and you stepped outside your apartment, freezing at what you
saw.
"Javi!!!" You whined at the image of him covered in blood, bruised and beaten up.
You immediately teared up at the state he was in, he'd probably been punched a considerable
amount of times, a cut right above his left eye was responsible for the amount of blood that
stained his face and dripped down his neck and got to his cut.
You hated to see him like that, suddenly that horrible feeling that haunted you earlier made
all sense and you ran to him. You'd much rather see him Javier arriving home with a woman
than all bruised and broken like that, at least he wouldn't be suffering.
You unlocked the door for him and helped him sit down on the couch, which he did with a
groan of pain.
He looked at you in silence but smiled softly seeing your presence there, no matter if his
whole body hurt, if he had been beaten up by one of the Los Pepes sicario, seeing you there
made him better.
You didn't ask him any questions, you would have time for that later, instead you rushed to
his kitchen, getting a bowl and filling up with water and ice. You had no idea if that worked
for real, but you'd seen several times in movies and TV how someone would sink their face
into water to prevent it from swelling.
You also grabbed some cloth and whatever you thought that could be helpful and sat next to
him.
"It's okay Javi, I'm here don't worry okay? You're not alone" you reminded him and patiently
instructed on what to do.
You didn't know how long you spent wiping all the blood off his face, but you were both
relieved to see he hadn't broken any teeth nor his nose. Javi unbuttoned his shirt and removed
it with your help, making visible a darkening bruise on his ribs.
You touched it as softly as you could but he winced in pain
"Sorry honey" you said sadly and grabbed the ice pad, letting him place it over so you
wouldn't hurt him even more. You hope they hadn't broken any of his ribs.
"It's alright princesa, you're the best nurse in the world" he smiled sadly "you should go home
now, I can handle from here, your boyfriend must be waiting, you're all dolled up for bed" he
said finally acknowledging your nightgown. Even if he had just been beaten up, he still
smirked at your choice of clothing. Manu was a lucky son of a bitch, he thought to himself.
You shook your head "no fucking way I'm leaving you like that Javier. He's not here, and
even if he were, I wouldn't leave you" you assured him and saw how he opened his mouth
then closed again.
He licked his lips and stared into your eyes.
"Sit on my lap" he asked in a low voice which made you frown in confusion
"What?"
"J-just sit on my lap, I wanna feel you close, cariño, please"
And there they were: his puppy eyes again. How could you say no to broken, beaten, bruised
Javier Peña looking every bit vulnerable in front of you?
You didn't think twice before switching to his lap, sitting on top of him comfortably and
feeling one of his arms snake around your waist, holding you in place at the same time he
buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Javi didn't say anything, he just inhaled your scene quietly, feeling in peace and at home. His
body didn't hurt as much now, his heart wasn't aching at that moment. You were pressed
against him willingly, not because he grabbed you, but because you wanted to be there.
You took his big hand into yours seeing the dry blood on his knuckles and very softly you
began wiping it.
"Looks like you threw a few punches too," you said with a small smile and felt him place his
head on your chest. He was so close to your breasts, but he didn't make any attempt to touch
you inappropriately, he just rested his tired head against your soft skin and watched as you
devotedly wiped someone else's blood from his knuckles.
"I left earlier looking for trouble and found trouble with one of the sicarios of Los Pepes" he
explained briefly "he got worse than me, I promise" he thought it was best not to mention the
other sicarios shot him in the head right there, in front of him, because they had explicit
orders not to hurt the DEA agent who was collaborating with them, so he only chuckled but
earned a dirty look from you. He knew you were going to say 'I told you so' and probably
lecture you again on how stupid working with these people were, but instead, your eyes
softened up and he could only see compassion, affection and maybe, just maybe some love in
them.
You wrapped your arms around him, pressing Javier against your body tight, closing your
eyes and enjoying the moment.
You'd never been that close to him, it felt so intimate but it was good.
"You know, the guy who left you at the altar is a stupid dick" he suddenly let out, earning a
scoff from you
"Your ex's fiancee's current boyfriend probably says the same about you, Javi"
"It's her husband, and he is completely right. I was a dumb dick and what I did was terrible, I
didn't want to get married and instead of straight up telling him, I chose the cowardly path.
But I apologized to her and she forgave me, because she said if it weren't for me, she
wouldn't have met the love of her life and built her family" he smiled "maybe the same can
happen for you" his hand stroked your side, as he still held you tight against him.
You couldn't help but laugh softly.
"Who knows, right? Maybe someday I will have a nice husband and a baby of my own"
"I just know I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, Y/N, if you walked down the aisle for
me, I'd be happily waiting for you to be my wife"
Javier only realized what he'd said after the words were out in the open. He shouldn't have
said that, just a few hours ago he was trying to push you away and now he was low-key
proposing to you? Fuck him, he was stupid.
You giggled and stroked his hair
"Aren't you adorable when you aren't a dick?" You tilted your head and pecked his forehead,
seeing how hot his skin was "shit, Javi. You're burning up with fever… let me find you some
medicine" you tried getting up but he held you tight in place, which caused your hips to move
against his rough jeans and you let out a soft whimper.
Javi frowned at first but immediately smirked, his hand cupping your cheek again as the other
one rested on your neck, massaging and stroking your skin.
"Need a relief, mi amor? Go ahead, rub yourself against me, I'll be glad to help you… you
took care of me and I take care of you" he sweet talked you, his voice was a low rumbling
purr and it took you a lot of willpower not to accept his offer. But you shook your head
"I can't Javi, I'm not gonna hump you while you keep burning up" you replied with the same
sweetness he addressed you.
Eventually, you convinced him to take a shower and in the meantime you had to rush back to
your place to get a tylenol because of course his medicine cabinet was empty.
When he got fresh out of the shower, you gave him two pills and walked him to his bed. Of
course Javier wouldn't bother putting on clothes so he just got the towel out of his waist and
got under the blankets, giving you only seconds to turn around not to look at his naked body.
He chuckled at your reaction and raised his eyebrow
"What querida? Do I look like the kind of fucker who goes to bed in pajamas? I ain't no
Steve" you both laughed together and he took your hand in his, he caressed your knuckles
with his thumb
"Stay. Spend the night with me, just to sleep and nothing more, I need you here, mi amor"
 EIGHT
Chapter Summary

Javi is sick, bruised and beaten by Los Pepes and asked you to stay with him. You end
up giving in and you have a heartfelt conversation, but is he being honest or is just the
fever talking?

"Stay. Spend the night with me, just to sleep and nothing more, I need you here, mi amor"

You stared down at him, his pleading eyes watching you in so much expectation as you still
hadn't given him an answer.
You could spend the night with Javier, he was sick, he was hurt, nothing would happen
between the two of you. You had already sat on his lap and you had definitely crossed a line
you shouldn't have but it was done.
Now, you know you shouldn't spend the night with him. You had a boyfriend who was home
now, sleeping comfortably, probably went to bed a little disappointed he didn't get to have a
second round with you, but nonetheless your boyfriend.
It was wrong, and to you that was cheating. But if it was so bad why didn't you care at all?
You should care, you should feel guilty about doing those things with Javier, even if it wasn't
physical, it was emotional, a kind of proximity you shouldn't have with him.
And yet, when you thought of Manu, you felt nothing. At all.
You sighed to yourself and sat on the edge of Javier's bed "you're already naked under the
blankets, sleeping here is an awful idea, Javi"
He chuckled and nodded "I won't do anything you don't want me to, princesa"
And that was exactly the problem, you wanted Javier to do so many things to you. The
filthier, the kinkier the better.
You felt embarrassed at your own thoughts and he could tell you were battling yourself trying
to figure out what to do. He didn't want to pressure you, to insist too much, but he hoped
you'd give in and join him. Even if nothing happened between the two of you, he wanted you
close. He wanted to sleep while having you tangled around his body. He wanted to wake up
with your messy hair all over his pillow, with your back pressed against his chest and well,
Javi would be lying if he didn't want your ass pressed against his crotch as well. But just your
presence was enough for him, he was already thankful you took care of him, cleaned up his
wounds with no judgment. He knew it would hurt badly in the morning when he would wake
up to you, gone to your home and then back to your boyfriend and he would go back to not
having you, but before morning came, he wanted to enjoy the opportunity he was given. He
wished he weren't in so much pain, that way he would be able to show you how much he
cared for you. He would be able to get up, to cook you something, to wrap a blanket around
your body, to massage your back. Fuck, he would braid your hair if you wanted him to,
because he wanted to find a way to show you her cared about you. He wanted you to see you
weren't just a body to him - a gorgeous one in that matter, but he still didn't know how.
He couldn't hide his smile as you lifted the blanket just enough to join him under it. You felt
some awkwardness at first but it quickly dissipated as Javi placed his hand on your side,
showing you it was alright to come closer.
You were afraid of hurting him more as the bruise in his ribs looked pretty bad, but Javi didn't
hesitate to have you next to him.
You slowly placed your head on his chest, closing your eyes for a couple of seconds as you
adjusted your breathing to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
His ran ran through your soft hair, smiling down at you "falling asleep already?" He asked in
a low voice and you chuckled, shaking your head.
"No, I was just getting comfortable, Javi…" you told him looking up at him. You couldn't
help but wonder the amount of women that got into the same position you were, and yet, you
still felt special. As if he was reading your mind, he kissed your forehead.
"I'm happy you're sleeping here, I don't get to sleep with people very often" you frowned and
he laughed softly "you know what I mean, I don't spend the night with women… unless they
are mine" he said nuzzling your hair and pecking your forehead again.
Fuck, your stupid butterflies were awake and making a turmoil in your stomach.
You hid your face in the crook of his neck and kissed his skin gently, sighing at how
comfortable it felt and then stared at him again.
"What about your ex fiancee? Lorraine, right?"
"Gee, you ain't letting that go, right?" He saw you shaking your head and nodded
"Well, Lorraine was my highschool sweetheart… she was gorgeous, blue eyes, silky blonde
hair and it knocked me down on my feet" he laughed softly and smirked at your frown, he
could see the hint of jealousy in your expression, but his hand squeezed your side softly.
"And we started dating… I really liked her, I didn't love her, but I liked her, cared about her
and well, I guess I just went with the flow… everyone talked about how beautiful of a couple
we were and how gorgeous our kids would be… and that suffocated me. At the same time I
didn't want that, I didn't find a way to tell her. Only later, I understood I was being a coward.
Then, on our wedding day, I did go to church, I saw her, she was gorgeous, but I couldn't do
that to her. She wanted a family, a good husband, kids and this is something I could never
give her… so I took the easiest way out and hurt her like a motherfucker" he stared into your
eyes, wanting to read your expression, but you offered him nothing, you wanted to hear the
rest of the story "and Lorraine hated me, she was right of course, but she made sure to show
the whole town how much she hated me, and no one can blame her, right? Well, my pa got
really embarrassed about what I'd done and well, eventually I left town and ended up here"
You took in his words, you'd stirred the curious pot inside of you and now you had all the
time in the world to be like that
"So, do you regret leaving her? You didn't want kids?" You asked him, your hand resting on
his belly as you faced him, eager to learn more about this personal side of him.
"I regret leaving Lorraine the way I did, she deserved to be treated respectfully, I should've
been a man and broken up with her in a conversation between the two of us, and not the way
I ditched her. But I didn't want to be a husband and I didn't want to be a dad, I mean, can you
imagine me coming home like I did earlier tonight and scaring the shit out of the kids
because daddy got beaten up by some cartel sicarios?" He scoffed and shook his head.
You nodded and cupped his cheek gently, you felt his hot skin under your touch and smiled
softly
"I know that was just the fever talking, but you wouldn't run away from me? If I were your
bride, I mean?" You asked finding amusing to picture the scene. Javier laughed softly
"I sure wouldn't. I promise you with my heart, I would never let you go, cariño… then after
the ceremony we could head to my pa's ranch and settle there. No more cops, cartels or death.
Just us taking care of the ranch… until the kids come along, first our little boy, he's gonna be
tough like his daddy and then our beautiful little princesita, gorgeous like her mommy, and
you will be the happiest woman on earth, Mrs.Peña" he winked and watched as your jaw
dropped.
You knew he was joking, or even if he thought he was being serious, it was just the fever
cooking up his brain. You laughed softly, a shade of pink spreading across your cheek as you
looked at him.
"I know you don't mean it, but it sounds pretty good to me… what about our jobs?" You
knew it was just a joke but you wanted to hear more of it, it wouldn't do any more harm to
you than everything that Javier had already done. He wouldn't simply become a decent man
in the blink of an eye and you would live happily ever after. And yet, it was nice to daydream
about that.
"Well, we could both quit DEA, with your talent and experience you could find a job in the
city hall or some big company and I'll take care of the ranch" he winked and watched as your
burst out laughing.
He smiled at your reaction and his hand traveled to your back, stroking it softly
"You know what's the funniest part?" You asked "you say all this as if you had already
planned it… as if it was going to happen" you shook your head in amusement and saw Javi
leaning closer
"Who says it won't? Maybe I have good intentions with you, maybe I want to become a better
man for you, maybe after I met you I realized how bad I want to settle down, how much I
need a normal job and how good it would be to become a husband, maybe a dad in the
future… who says you aren't responsible for that?"
Your smile died and you looked down, raising your body from his and sitting in bed.
"It's not funny, Javier" you said "it may be funny to you, but it's not funny to me"
"Who says it's funny? I'm not joking, I am being honest… I want you to be my wife some
day Y/N '' he confessed "I know it's too late now, you have a boyfriend and he will always be
a better man than me. I swear I would have made it up to you already if I knew how to do it, I
hurt you too many times, sometimes it was on purpose so you would keep your distance, not
only because I didn't want you to fall for me, but also because I couldn't risk having you
around after I got involved with Los Pepes" Javi's watched you closely, admiring your beauty
and still not quite believing you were so close "and sometimes I hurt you by accident,
because I'm a dumb fuck who can't do things right"
And like that Javier melted you like butter, turning you into a puddle of softness for him.
He was sweet talking to you but you didn't care at that point, sometimes illusions are better
than reality and though you didn't believe a word he said, you wanted to believe because you
wanted them to be true.
You relaxed instantly and placed your head back on his chest, you searched for a better
position for your legs and accidentally brushed your knee against his cock.
"Careful cariño, it's hard enough to keep myself in check without you touching me" he
smirked and saw the embarrassment on your face, cupping it gently "it's okay, don't be shy,
just relax and get to sleep" he assured you. Javi's hands ran up and down your back and so far
he had done a pretty good job at pretending you weren't lying on top of him with a painfully
thin nightgown while he was naked. He sighed at the thought of you leaving in the morning
and going back to your boyfriend, to the life you had successfully managed to keep him away
from. He knew tonight was a one time thing and even if he didn't get to have you, he would
enjoy every single second of your presence.
"Manu is really lucky… I hope he knows that" Javi let out which made your heart tighten
with guilt for betraying your boyfriend like that and also the pain those words carried. You
knew you were about to hurt one of them, but you didn't know who it would be.
"Don't talk about him now, Javi… it feels weird" you asked, watching his face and taking
your hand to his forehead, he wasn't as warm as before and you felt glad to see his fever was
finally breaking. Your gaze wouldn't stop analyzing his features and your eyes landed on his
perfect lips. They were so kissable, you didn't remember meeting a man with such kissable
lips before, the way he wetted them with his tongue from time to time was such a small
action but somehow it always set your core on fire. You didn't know how to explain, but
those small details were the ones that often got you so hooked on him. It just made him
irresistible and you couldn't fight that any longer.
You leaned towards him, your breath was shaky with anxiety and anticipation but you didn't
stop yourself, instead, you closed your eyes and pecked his lips.
Javi was taken aback by your action, he figured if something were to happen between the two
of you, he would initiate it, but instead, there it was, you kissing him.
He thought maybe it was a fever dream, but when he felt your body pressed against his, he
saw it was indeed reality.
His ribs ached like never in his life, but he didn't care. He embraced you and returned the
kiss, deeply, his tongue finding yours in an urgent kiss.
Javier's hands traveled through your whole body, feeling you up and lifting your gown. You
broke the kiss and bit your lips, he stopped and cupped your cheek.
"We don't have to do that if you don't want to" he reminded you but only earned another kiss
in return. You didn't want to stop, you never wanted to stop, it was wrong, risky and dumb
and you wanted all of it.
Javi's hands ran their way up to your breasts, they traced a path on your sides, going through
your ribs and squeezing your tits like he fantasized many times.
His fingers pulled the cloth down, the straps sliding down your shoulders as the view of your
beautiful, inviting breasts was revealed to him.
He watched them fall free, as your perky nipples looked so tempting to him.
You felt his mouth on your skin, soft kisses at first but the way his lips wrapped around one
nipple and he began sucking on it, while his hand played with the other, was enough to make
you moan.
And that was loud.
You didn't care. Just that stimulation alone was better than anything your boyfriend made you
feel all the times you slept with him, and now you were one of Javier's girls, you were in his
bed, you were his whore for the night and you would be lying to yourself if you said you
didn't love it, at least in the heat of the moment, you would have the whole morning to regret
it, but now, his mouth on you was driving you insane.
You looked down at him and stroked his hair, loving how eagerly he was sucking on your tits.
His hand found its way down your waist, going down onto your core, though your
inconvenient panties were still in the way.
He caressed you over it and earned more whimpers for you. He loved how you sounded.
"Fuck Javi, don't tease me please" you begged him, at the same time he found your wetness,
pulling your panties to the side and sliding one finger through your folds. He gathered your
juices and spread them over your hard needy clit.
You looked at him and bit your lips, moving your hips at the same pace his finger taunted
you. Two of them, ghosting at your entrance and finally making their way inside of you. Your
inner walls clenched around his thick fingers and you moved your hips faster at the same
time Javi fingered you.
You whimpered and called his name, gripping his hair and pressing his head against your
chest.
"Oh fuck Javi, I need you" you whimpered and moved closer but you felt him stop everything
the moment he growled in pain.
You looked scared at him not understanding what was going on.
"What happened?" You asked concerned and saw him grip his ribcage, where the dark wound
was so visible.
"Oh shit" you got off him and saw him panting "are you okay Javi? We don't have to do it,
I'm sorry" you said feeling guilty knowing you'd pressured the wound with your knee again.
He chuckled, though you could see he winced in pain "sorry cariño, can't bend you over and
fuck you tonight" he said with sad eyes but gripped your waist once more, a devilish smirk
apprearing in those sinful lips as he licked them softly and eyed your tits again.
"Come on princesa, I can still make you feel good, don't worry about me, tonight's just about
you" he took your hand, kissing your hand and helping you straddle his neck.
"Just relax for me, mi amor, don't think about anything else, just sit on my face and enjoy
yourself" he coached you, biting your inner thigh just enough to make you squeal and laugh
"fuck you Javi" you whimpered "you're right, chiquitita, fuck me" he winked softly and
licked your slit over your soaked panties.
"Now, I think you're wearing too much, aren't ya? We want you to be my sweet little puta
tonight, right?" You nodded obediently and gasped the moment Javier tore your panties aside.
They were thin and he didn't want to wait any longer, so it was the easiest way to get your
pussy free for him.
And what a gorgeous pussy.
He helped you lower yourself down his face, the way your folds opened and your clit
twitched for him was enough to make his cock throb, but he reminded himself it was all
about you that night.
He could tell you were still a little hesitant, so he forced your hips down until he was covered
by your cunt.
Javi began slowly, his tongue slid up and down your folds, the amount of wetness was
already enough to make a mess on his chin, but he loved it and wanted to drown in your
juices.
His tongue teased your hard clit, wetting it and feeling it twitch for him, before going as deep
as it could down into your pussy hole. His hands squeezed your ass, parting your cheeks as
he pulled you forward, showing you it was time to move your hips. You obeyed him, feeling
more confident each time you moved your hips and you grabbed the headboard, using it to
sustain your weight as you moved faster.
"Oh fuck Javi, just like that, please don't stop" you whimpered as you rubbed your clit against
his beautiful nose, you've always loved his side profile and now you finally knew what it was
capable of doing to your poor, abused clit as he used his mouth to tongue fuck you.
He pulled you forward some more, his mouth now having free access to your ass, where he
licked your sensitive tight hole, feeling it gape softly against his tongue at the same time you
moved viciously against him.
You didn't even think of how Javier was going to breathe, but you wouldn't last it very long.
Just a couple of strokes more shot you to your orgasms.
You gripped your tits as you felt how weak your legs got, taking a look at the mirror he had
by the bed, you saw the mess Javier put you in.
You called his name in pleasure and felt all your holes clench in an intense way they never
seemed to have done it before.
You could literally feel your juices dripping onto his face, you wondered if you'd squirted,
but it didn't feel that way.
You finally managed to get off him, Javi's face was definitely a mess. He was glistening with
your wetness and yet he licked his lips as if he had tasted the finest cuisine.
He smirked at you, caressing your thighs "fuck mariposa, you came hard for me" he praised
you "fucking love this cunt, fucking love your taste" I fucking love you, Javier thought, but
didn't dare say.
"Next time you'll squirt for me, I'll make you fucking rain for me" he slapped your ass and it
made your lower belly warm again with need…
Next time… there would be a next time with Javi.
Eventually, he helped you come down from your bliss and snuggle him. You kissed his neck
up and down, loving to feel his thick neck, the heat of his skin. You were feeling so satisfied,
so happy. Even if you'd just done something terribly wrong, you thought it was unfair it felt
so good, so right.
Your hand went for his cock, it was rock hard, tenting the blanket and no matter if he took
your hand away and placed a kiss on it, insisting it should be all about you, however, the way
his cock twitched at your touch, made you so eager to do it more.
"Please Javi, I really want to, I won't hurt you" you told him, being so careful to stay away
from his bruise and rubbed your thumb over his glistening tip. You spread his pre cum all
over his length and moved your hand up and down.
The grunt that left his throat was something that sent shivers down your spine, it was so
primal, so erotic, so beautiful. Your teeth scraped his skin, biting and kissing all over his neck
and throat, you didn't care if it left some bruises, in fact, you wanted to, because if it was a
one time thing, you'd remember it every time you shot a glance at him and saw the marks
spread all over his skin.
He bucked his hips towards your hand, a sharp pain hit him like cold water, but he could
barely pay attention to it as you fastened your pace.
You wanted to return him all the wonderful bliss he made you feel, you kissed his lips again,
never getting enough of it, Javi was definitely a good kisser, but again, he was good at
everything so it was difficult to decide which of his talents were your favorite.
You sank under the blankets and wrapped your lips around his tip, jerking him off and feeling
his balls quiver under your touch, you knew he wasn't going to last long and you wanted all
of him, just like he had all of you.
Javi couldn't hold it any longer. His big hand was buried in your hair, in a tight grip as he
tried standing still as much as possible, maybe he had one broken rib or two after all, but his
mind went blank when he finally came.
His load poured hot and thick in your mouth and you swallowed every of it, until the last
drop.
He panted, catching his breath while he wrapped his arms tight around your body. The bed
was big, but neither of you wanted to let go of each other. You relaxed completely at that
moment, absolutely calm, bliss and love ran through your veins and your mind. Nothing and
no one existed in the world besides you and Javi.
You were the only thing that mattered to him, and he was the only thing you cared about.
It was only after he made sure you were deeply asleep, he kissed the top of your head and
sighed, still holding you tight.
"Te quiero, cariño" he admitted to the silence of the room, feeling for the first time he meant
those words and that he believed in himself enough to be the man you deserved it.
 NINE
Chapter Summary

The morning after you spent the night with Javi arrives and you both need to deal with
what happens next

For the past couple of months, every time Javier would lie his head on his pillow and try to
get to sleep, he thought of Manuel Herrera and how that cabrón was the luckiest
motherfucker in the world. To Javi, Manu was a mediocre cop, there were worse cops than
him, and there were better cops than him. His grades weren't the best, and he didn't graduate
with all the honors, Javier found out when he convinced Colleen to access his personal file
and hand it over to him. He wanted to know everything about the man, all the good and all
the dirt, because there was no way in hell he would sit down with his arms crossed and let
you get involved with someone he didn't know. You didn't want anything to do with him, was
one thing. He couldn't interfere, he couldn't force you into taking any other choice, but the
least he could do was to make sure you were safe with your new man.
Javier spent days talking to his peers. He was gathering as much information on Manu as
possible but still, he couldn't find anything. He didn't find any dirt, any gossip, not even when
he tried running his name through the brothels, he couldn't get one single piece of
information. It seemed you'd found yourself a good guy and he thought he could never
compete with that. It was time for him to accept that Manu was a better man in every aspect
than him. Unlike him, Manu wasn't a dirty cop, he didn't have agreements with Los Pepes, he
wasn't the most known cop in Colombia's whorehouses and above all, Manu had you, while
Javi could only dream of that. Your face was the last thing he saw before sleeping and that
first thing that came to his mind when he woke up.
Even though he told himself he was fine with you moving on, he wasn't. He couldn't really
accept the fact you were with someone else, of course he didn't really have a choice but his
heart was broken.
While you kept your distance from him it'd been somewhat easier, but the moment he had to
face you across the hall, making that much of a noise for another man, it really hit him: he'd
lost you and there was no turning back.
Javi felt a pure rage like nothing hit him before. He felt betrayed, he felt someone had stolen
from him and he couldn't bear being near you if you weren't his.
So he went out to drink, but when the morning came, he had to face you at Steve's barbecue,
which was a mixture that shouldn't have happened.
And that was why you had argued, and for the first time you had admitted your feelings for
him, he knew it, in fact, pretty much everybody knew it, but hearing you say you were once
in love with him made him realize the mistake he'd made.
He loved you, and you used to love him, and due to a matter of time, place and stupidity, you
couldn't be together anymore.
So Javier went after trouble and he got it, the sicario didn't miss one single punch and Javi
went back to his senses, he was coughing blood and limping his way through the hallway.
And then you showed up, looking like an angel, sent from heaven, just to help him, with your
grace and kindness.
And right then, without expecting anything in return you were there for him, after everything
bad he'd done. After all the pain he made you go through you were still there.
He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with love.
He had it bad for you, he was in very deep.
For the first time in his life, Javier Peña admitted to himself he felt truly and deeply in love.
If he didn't know any better, he would've fallen to his knees, begged you for forgiveness for
everything bad he'd ever put you through and he would have to control himself not to beg
you to be his wife.
Because from that moment you sat on his lap, through the moment you sat on his face and he
finally tasted your sweet honey, so addictive and intoxicating, to the moment you finally fell
asleep in his arms, the only thing that crossed Javier's mind was making you his forever.
He hadn't planned on touching you, he wanted to show you he wasn't looking after sex, he
wanted you to see he lingered your presence, he craved your affection, he just wanted to fall
asleep feeling safe and happy for the first time in years, but you'd kissed him, and from that
moment on, the two of you couldn't stop. The way you wanted him, the way you touched him
after he'd brought you to your orgasm, showed him you desired him as much as he desired
you. It wasn't just love, just affection, and it wasn't just sexual attraction either. It was all
those things combine, the whole package, suddenly, after a lifetime of seeing himself as a
lonely guy, unable to have lasting relationships or intimacy, after all that time of accepting he
would never settle down like everyone else did around him, he realized maybe, just maybe he
had a chance to do that. It was what he'd ever heard of and for a long period he assumed it
was just bullshit, he thought it wasn't more than cheap plots for movies and soap operas
because he never thought loving someone like that could be real.
Javier had heard his pa talking about it whenever he mentioned his ma, and though he did
believe his parents had such a beautiful love story, he was sure that kind of thing wouldn't
happen to him. He just wasn't the guy for it, no one that left his bride waiting at the altar
would be worth of being loved by any other women.
When the realization of that hit him, it felt something inside of Javier had died and he only
looked for women when he needed sexual satisfaction, at first they were hookups he would
pick up at bars, but as soon as he learned his way around informants in Colombia, he turned
to hookers as well, he would pay them for information and only information, until one of
them asked him why he wouldn't enjoy the rest of the time if he'd paid for the full hour. And
after that, he was doomed.
It was an endless parade of nameless, faceless and heartless women, because he never
remembered any of these features, though he was always respectful towards them, they were
just a means to an end and that was it.
He'd lived his life like that, tricking himself. He was somewhat happy or pleased by it, until
you came into the picture. And that rocked his little world.
You'd put him under your spell, and as much as he tried fighting you as hard as he could, now
that he'd had a taste of you, he'd surrendered completely. He didn't want anything else in life,
but you.
So when you fell asleep in his arms, he realized for the first time in months he didn't have to
picture your face before sleeping in hopes of dreaming of you, because you were right there,
in his arms, the place Javier Peña never wanted you to leave.
Morning came too fast, and with that, a heavy weight placed itself in his chest. He knew his
time with you was almost over, but the scene he woke up to prevented him from getting
upset, as the first view that came to his eyes was you lying naked in his bed, on top of him.
Javi could swear his heart ached at the sight of you. You were so gorgeous, too good for him,
but he loved how your body weighed against his, your skin and how soft it felt.
He buried his face into your hair and inhaled your delicious scent. He allowed himself to
relax and made sure you were covered so he could close his eyes and go back to sleep.
When someone banged on the door repeatedly. Javi immediately groaned and rolled his eyes,
a lot of possibilities crossing his mind.
What if it was Manu? What if somehow he found out his girlfriend had spent the night over?
Of course it wouldn't be the first time Javier would have to face an angry boyfriend or even
an angry husband after a lay, but you weren't just a lay, you were his now, Javier felt he had
you and the only one who could say otherwise was you. If you wanted to go back to Manu
afterwards he would just pick up the pieces of his heart and keep on living his miserable life,
but if you chose him over your boyfriend, you were about to own him, because Javi had
accepted he wanted to be tamed by you.
His blood ran cold when he realized it could be one of the prostitutes he hired, technically
they would have no reasons to knock on his door on a Sunday morning but anxiety still crept
up because things were just going too good for him, what if one of them showed up at his
door, asking him for any favor and giving you those eyes that in another time would make
him weak at the knees, you would certainly be pissed off, and he would have no other way to
get you back. He sighed and thought of closing his eyes one more time and ignore the noise,
but another bang on the door caught his attention.
"Damn Peña, wake up!!!!" Steve said in a loud voice as he was getting impatient at the
amount of time he'd been trying to get Javier out of his apartment.
Javi felt relief and carefully rolled you to your side of the bed, before jumping off it, just
putting on his jeans - with no underwear at all - and opened the door.
Steve raised his eyebrow and looked at him before rolling his eyes.
"They called from the office, we got a lead on La Quica, I give you one hour to get ready and
meet me by the car or I'm going alone" he said impatiently and saw as Javi nodded.
Steve closed his arms and scoffed.
"And for the record, the lady friends you used to bring home weren't as loud as the one from
last night… We fucking heard her from our apartment, Connie got pissed" he said "no
wonder Y/N hates your guts" he shook his head and walked away.
Javi took a deep breath, to control his anger at Steve's harsh words and closed the door
"Fucking hillbilly" he mumbled under his breath and was surprised when two arms wrapped
around his body.
You chuckled at their interaction and kissed his neck and then all over his broad shoulder.
"So Steve thought I was one of your hookers?" You raised your eyebrow as he turned around
and placed his hands on your waist
"He's a dick, hermosa, don't mind him" his voice was nothing but a low purr as his thumb
caressed your skin. Javier took a good look at you, loving to see you were wearing nothing
but one of his shirts you found discarded in his bedroom. It barely covered your modesty but
you didn't care, it felt so good to be wearing his shirt, it was not a big deal, but at the same
time it represented an intimate act.
You shook your head and bit your lips to hide your smile "well, Steve wasn't wrong though, I
guess I made a lot of noise" you chuckled and squealed when Javier's hand gripped your ass
cheeks and lifted you up, you laughed excitedly and immediately wrapped your legs around
his waist, pressing you against the wall for a kiss.
You gripped his hair and looked at him
"Morning, hermoso" you winked and giggled at his surprised expression of being called that
way.
He chuckled and sustained your weight once more, carrying you to the kitchen and placing
you on the counter.
"I'll make us some breakfast, you heard Steve, we only have one hour" he winked at you and
began preparing everything as you watched him.
That was an image you could definitely get used to, domestic, shirtless and bed haired Javier
Peña cooking you breakfast. You admired the way the outline of his muscles were visible
each time he moved around. You bit your lips and let yourself be taken back to the night
before, when Javi still drunk, hurt and feverish, low-key proposed to you. How he'd talked
about a life you would share as a couple, as a married couple, as if he'd already planned
things. Of course he didn't mean any of that, you were sure, but it had felt so good to allow
yourself to dream, for a least a second, pretend it could happen, it could work. It just made
you so happy and warm on the inside to picture yourself as his wife. Maybe living in the
ranch he'd mentioned, you both with easy jobs, nothing traumatic or stressful, just living your
lives together among nature, animals and happiness, until baby Peña came along…
"Y/N?" Javi asked you, seeing your mind was far away, but he needed to get you back into
reality, at least for breakfast.
You looked at him surprised, you hadn't realized you were so distracted.
He pointed at the two big plates he was carrying, one of them with pancakes and the other
one with scrambled eggs, because he knew you liked them both.
You giggled and jumped off the counter, walking to the table and deciding to sit on his lap.
You had already cheated on your boyfriend, done some kinky shit with Javier, you figured
having breakfast all over him wouldn't change your status to a worse person than you already
were.
He chuckled and rested his arm on your thighs, silently enjoying your closeness.
You checked on his bruise and saw it was darker than the night before, but he didn't seem to
be in as much pain as he was.
"So, I'll go with Steve after the lead on La Quica and you can stay if you want, cariño…
there's not much you can do to entertain yourself but if you'd like to hang out you're more
than welcome…"
You looked down at your own hands and sighed, as a sudden wave of guilt hit you.
As much as you'd love to stay and explore Javi's entire apartment, you knew you had to talk
to Manu as quickly as possible.
Javier got the demeanor of your behavior and bit the side of his lips, taking a deep breath and
nodding silently.
"I have something to do, I'm sorry Javi…"
There it was. The goodbye he had dreaded from the beginning, he had to give in and admit
that for a second, he really didn't think it would happen, maybe he was reading too much into
your behavior or maybe he had just been too hopeful for the development of the relationship
you two could have, but of course, it was just too good for him. He should've known better
than to have high hopes.
You looked into his eyes, he was staring at his plate, silently as he chewed slowly and sipped
his coffee.
"I need to talk to Manu, what happened last night… between you and me… it was wrong, it
shouldn't have happened…"
"Do you regret it?"
"What?"
"Last night. Do you regret it, Y/N? Yes or no?" He cut you off, needing to know, he wanted
to know if you were misleading him or if you'd been honest, as honest as he was with you.
"I cheated on my boyfriend, Javi… but no, I don't regret it, I can't lie to you nor to myself, I
don't regret it at all, and I would do everything again, in fact, I want to do everything
again…" you admitted and placed his hand closer to your inner thigh.
Relief poured all over his body and allowed himself to go soft, his muscles relaxed and he
realized he'd been slightly rude to you.
"Sorry cariño…" he kissed your shoulder and you nodded.
"I'll break up with Manu, Javi… I can't be with him anymore, I don't love him, I never did,
and what happened between us, it made me realize I don't wanna live a lie, I can't do this to
him, it's not fair, and it's not fair to me either, and it's not fair to you" you sighed and watched
as he remained silent.
"Can I see you tonight again?" Javier nodded at your question and stroked your thighs "my
place?" He shook his head "your place?" Another negative sign. You frowned and felt a small
anxiety in your chest.
Javier laughed and held your chin between his fingers "I'll take you out on a date, a real,
proper date…" he said "because you deserve it, you ain't just any woman, you're mine now,
Y/N… you're my hermosa, my muñequita, you're mi amor" he said as his heart raced with
anxiety, he knew he'd been too forward and he feared it would scare you away. He just hadn't
done that in so long, to him, relationships were resumed to either picking up a girl at a bar
and bringing her home or hiring another for an hour or two and that was it, so now, he was
still getting used to it again, he didn't know if his moves were still good enough or if he was
just embarrassing himself in front of you. All he wanted to do was not screw this up this time.
Your heart also skipped a beat, he'd called you mi amor as a pet name many times, but for the
first time, it felt like he meant it. You smiled and you were about to reply when another
sudden bang on the door interrupted you.
"I swear to God, Peña, if you aren't ready yet I'll personally ask Messina to fire you" Steve's
screaming voice came from the other side of the door.
You immediately got off Javi's lap and handed him a shirt. He put it on and grabbed his
wallet, car keys, sunglasses and turned around, facing you once "I'll pick you up tonight, as 8
PM" He said and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips, but you held his face between your
hands "take care, mi amor" you whispered against his lips and noticed his dumbfounded
expression as he exited the apartment - being careful enough when opening the door so Steve
wouldn't be able to see you there.
As you were left alone in Javi's apartment, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You
were giggly, excited, and it felt like you had just been invited to prom, as pure happiness
flooded you to think of going on a date with him. His words, not yours.
It was Sunday and you had so many hours to kill and though you still needed to be honest
with Manu, you didn't actually want to think of that.
Instead, you scanned Javi's place, realizing you could explore it as much as you'd like, taking
your time and even snooping around a little.
But you decided to start by doing the breakfast dishes. You figured you would keep your
mind busy while you left everything organized. It was sweet enough he made you breakfast
so it would only be fair if you didn't leave a mess behind. As you washed the plates and cups
of coffee, you thought of the night you spent together. Funny how only 24 hours ago you
were still angry with Javier, if someone had told you just a day later you'd be more excited
than a schoolgirl to go out with him, you'd call them crazy.
But you just couldn't even see him hurt like that, you had a real bad feeling about the whole
Los Pepes deal when you found out, your worst fear was Javier ending up killed by them, it
was enough to bring you nightmares, so you always avoided even thinking of that. The
moment you saw him so vulnerable, so hurt, you just couldn't turn your back to him, you
needed to be there, to show him things would be alright because he wasn't alone, and one
thing led to another to the point you just couldn't hide it anymore. You were madly in love
with him.
You smiled at yourself and moved to his bedroom, just a couple of hours ago you two were
tangled in that bed, as if you were only one. You'd slept so well you couldn't even remember
the last time you didn't wake up in the middle of the night, Javi's presence was so soothing, it
felt right, and when things feel right no matter if they are wrong, they still make you happy.
You knew you were wrong, you shouldn't have done what you did to your boyfriend, he
didn't deserve it and if it had been the other way around, you would've been crushed. You
couldn't make things right to Manu, but you owed him honesty. So you'd made up your mind
to go after him and explain why you shouldn't be together anymore. You couldn't undo the
damage done to him, but you didn't know exactly what you'd tell him. You couldn't just throw
Javier under the bus, after Carlos, you couldn't let your guard down, even if Manu wasn't a
psycho who would try to kill you, you couldn't afford being involved in yet another office
scandal concerning private relationships.
But just because Manu was respectful of you, it didn't mean he wouldn't take it out on Javi,
after all, he never literally liked Javier before, for once because of his infamous reputation
and also for the time their departments had a feud in one of the cases.
You sighed, making the bed as thinking of how you left your perfume all over those sheets,
and even if by any chance Javi didn't want to see you again, he would still have to handle
your scent in his bed for at least a few days. You chuckled at the thought and focused on your
task.
The bed was perfectly made when someone knocked on the door, you frowned, suspicious at
who could
possibly be knocking on Javier's door, when you eyed his badge on the coffee table you
chuckled, Steve had rushed Javi to the point he forgot about it.
You quickly grabbed it and opened the door, being sure he was there to get it before he could
go into his full cop mood.
"Listen, Peña, I'm here to talk about Y/N, I-" Manu's words disappeared mid sentence as he
stood there in complete shock seeing you had opened the door to Javier's apartment, the man
he hated the most in the whole, completely naked under his shirt.
It was an inexcusable situation, Manu was the last person you expected to be knocking, and
you swore you would talk to him, you would come clean with him, but now it wasn't
necessary as he had found out about your dirty little secret.
Manu just couldn't process the fact you, the woman he was growing to love was Javier Peña's
puta.
 TEN
Chapter Summary

You are forced to hear what Manu has to tell you, and a surprise at the office makes you
rethink your relationship with Javier

When Manu left his home that Sunday morning, he was determined to face the man he hated
the most in the world.
He wasn't sure how he began hating that man, but it had something to do with the moment he
joined the police enforcement in Colombia.
He was a typical american guy, looking down at everything in Manu's beloved country and
always thinking he was above all.
Maybe it was his smug smile, those stupid tight pants as if he'd been trapped for over a
decade or how the office girls swooned for him. He hadn't exchanged more than two or three
words, but whenever they had some mission concerning Escobar and the DEA dogs, that
motherfucker walked around with that attitude, as if he was better than anyone else.
Manu just hated how pretentious he was, how he swore he had all those women on his feet.
Most of the time, he did, but the women he had on his feet weren't the kind of women Manu
liked. They were usually cheap, easy girls, or literally prostitutes. And then he saw you.
You were possibly the most beautiful woman Manuel had ever seen in his life, you were
always sweet and kind to everyone, politeness and efficiency were something everyone from
the office noticed, you treated everyone equally… except for maybe Colleen, it was
noticeable how you couldn't stand her, but no one could actually blame you as that woman
was kind of annoying. Manu watched you from afar every day, since you began working at
the station. He liked admiring you, he had never spoken to you, but in his mind, he was sure
you were a beautiful person, inside and out. He just didn't understand why you seemed to be
attached to Peña's hip, you weren't a cop, you weren't his partner and you certainly weren't
his girlfriend, as the word on the street said Peña didn't do relationships.
And yet, you gave him the heart eyes, you were always laughing together and very often you
giggled at whatever he had said.
Manu was always confused as to why someone like you, could orbitate around Javier.
Then, Carlos initiated his weird obsession with you. He still went after the girls in the office,
but you seemed to linger longer in his mind. One of the reasons was that, just like Manu, he
also couldn't stand Javier. And winning one of his girls would be a great victory for him. And
also because you never gave Carlos the time of the day, and it drove him mad. Not many
women refused him, but you did, so when flirtation didn't work, he turned his aim at you, and
tried making you the office's joke, which Manu immediately put an end to it, when he was
around at least. He didn't need people gossiping around and distracting themselves from
work.
So he just decided not to listen to any of that gossip and remind himself that everything that
came from Carlos was pure shit.
And then you were transferred to his department, and when he met you, he knew he'd made
the right choice by not letting any gossip about you influence him. You were everything he'd
dreamed of in a person and just the fact that you actually took a liking on him, was enough to
show Manu that sometimes good things happened.
During your brief relationship, Manu never really liked the fact you were once so close to
Javier, but just as he had his own past relationships, you did too, besides, you were always so
honest when you said you didn't have anything with him, you two were friends and nothing
else, and well, as for Manuel, he had no reasons to doubt you.
He was bothered ever since he woke up the day before, he'd spent a wonderful night with
you, you had finally had sex, he was staying at your house and that must've been a big deal,
right? But once he woke up, he heard you whimpering and moaning in his sleep. He smirked
happily, assuming you were dreaming of him and possibly wanted another round of him.
So he trailed kisses around your neck and your shoulder, which you sleepily welcomed with
more moans, but then he heard Javier's name coming out of your lips.
Manu didn't really believe it at first, he must have misheard what you said, and even after he
questioned you and you explained yourself saying you were just telling him good morning.
Once again, he believed you, he had no reasons to doubt you after all.
Then when you both got to the barbecue, he couldn't help but have that characteristic feeling
of hatred and anger spreading through his body. The mere presence of Javier caused that.
Everything about that guy bothered him, made his skin crawl and the fact he kept his stupid,
ridiculous sunglasses on all the time pretending he wasn't eye fucking you, was driving him
insane.
Manu couldn't lie about the fact he was a little disappointed when you asked him to go home,
he loved every minute of the night you had spent together and every fiber of his body was
longing for a repetition of that, he wanted to do it again, to have you lost in his arms, being in
so much pleasure you couldn't help but being loud as hell. However, he didn't want to
overstay, if you were asking him to leave you had a good reason, and for the third time,
Manuel Herrera believed in you because he had no other reason not to.
When he woke up that Sunday morning, he sighed as the side of the bed you were supposed
to take as your own was cold and empty. He hoped he could wake up to your sleepy, smiley
face, but that was not happening. He got up and made himself breakfast, taking his time to
think about your relationship and smiled at himself, he had something good going on and he
wanted to assure things would continue that way. An idea crossed his mind and after debating
it with himself, he decided to do it, as there was a slim, but consistent possibility it would
work out.
He saw himself driving to the place of the guy he hated the most in the whole wide world:
Javier Peña.
At first he hadn't planned it very well, but it was something pretty simple, he was going to
talk to Javier in a straightforward way, no beating around the bush, he was just going to
straightforward ask Javier to leave you alone once for all.
He wasn't trying to control your friendships, but he didn't trust Javier and since you seemed
to have been so vulnerable towards him, he thought it could be a nice request, a fair request,
even. Especially since Javier had been treating you like shit for months, Manu thought it
would be a decent idea. First he was going to knock on his door, have a chat with him and
then he would go to your apartment, kiss you on the lips and take you out for lunch.
He stood in front of Javier's door, knocking on it and as soon as the door opened, he recited
the words he'd rehearsed in his mind, until he went completely silent at the image of you,
standing there, naked underneath that shirt and Manu's world was forever changed by that.
At first, it took him a split second to recognize you, he'd eyed first the naked legs and only
then his gaze went up until the confirmation of who it was hit him harder than a train running
right off the track. His first assumption was that it was just another hooker opening the door,
but when he realized it was no one but his own girlfriend, it felt like the ground had
disappeared from under his feet.
"Manu?" You whispered in shock, he was literally the last person you thought that would
knock on Javier's door. You were even holding his badge, being sure Javi himself returned to
get it, but not your boyfriend. He just stood there, with a shocked and horrid expression, he
didn't dare say a single word, instead he saw as your lower lip trembled and your eyes
immediately filled with tears.
"Manu" his name was nothing but a ghostly whisper coming out of your lips "I'm so sorry…"
you began your apologies but he didn't want to hear any of it.
He ran his hands through his hair, in frustration, pain, heartbreak.
"How long, Y/N?" His voice was steady, he really thought it was going to break, show you
how gutted he really was, but to his own surprise, it came out as emotionless as it could be.
"Manu, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for anything to happen, I was gonna go and talk to you
later today, explain to you what's happening, I know I hurt you, but I don't want you to hate
me…"
The way he stood there, not moving, not speaking, just staring at you was worse than if he
was throwing a scene. So far, you had only met the good side of him, the side that was docile
and sweet, you had no idea how he'd react to the shock of catching you red-handed.
"How long, Y/N?" He repeated himself "how long have you been double dealing like that?
How long have you been cheating on me with Peña?!" He raised his voice and grabbed you
by the arm. His grip wasn't painful but it was strong enough so you couldn't simply break free
from it.
He took you inside Javier's apartment and closed the door, not wanting the neighbors to
experience that scene.
"I-I haven't been with Javier for long… it happened last night, but I was gonna talk to you
Manu, I swear. You are a great guy, and you deserve someone good to you, someone who
doesn't hurt your feelings and can love you…" you explained, as you couldn't control your
sobs, too many feelings flooding you all at once, finally the guilt and shame you had been
lacking appeared. It was completely different now, at the light of the day. During the night,
you'd been so caught on in your feelings for Javier, he was arms length close to you, he was
right there, you couldn't resist, and your boyfriend… well, at that moment he was just an
idea, a thought pushed away to the back of your mind. But now, Manu stood there, flesh and
bone, right in front of you, anger and disappointment all aimed at you, and he was right in
every single aspect. What you did to him was inexcusable, you couldn't even try to justify…
what could you tell him? You couldn't resist Javier? You were carried away in the moment?
You loved Javier and the whole reason why you dated Manu in the first place was because he
made you forget your heart break for a little while? Would all those excuses be enough for
you if the roles were reversed and you just found out your boyfriend had spent the night with
the woman you hated the most in the world? You knew it wasn't enough.
"Ay, eres tan dulce!" He scoffed and looked at you, before turning around and taking a good
look at the apartment "even when you were bouncing on Peña's cock you were still worried
about my feelings… aren't you a great girlfriend?"
"I'm so sorry Manu, I never meant to hurt you, I really care for you, but we are not right for
each other.."
"I'll give you one on that, querida, we are definitely not right for each other, because unlike
your new boyfriend, I don't go out with whores" he said in a low voice "you know, Carlos
always said you were one of those, a whore, a tiny little stupid girl who ran after Peña like a
puppy with stupid heart eyes in hopes one day he would pay the slightest attention to you,
and I always thought he was wrong… but now, I see he was absolutely right. I just came over
to have a small chat with him, about you, by the way! So he would leave you alone, and I
find you here, playing housewife, cleaning up after his mess, look at the way you are dressed,
for fuck's sake, I've seen Peña pick up prostitutes wearing more clothes than you are right
now! But I guess Carlos was right, you are not only a bitch, Y/N, but a real stupid one… out
of all the men you could get involved with, you go and choose Peña?!" Manu laughed softly
"I don't usually have hard feelings, and to be honest, if I could I'd wish you to be happy with
him, but the problem is that I know you won't. Because he is an asshole, he's a manwhore,
and you and your tight little pussy aren't gonna be able to keep him to yourself much longer,
eventually he'll grow tired of you, and he'll go after other whores to seek the pleasure you
won't be able to give him any longer, so I just know for a fact you won't be happy with him,
but it's fine by me, because you deserve every single heartbreak he's gonna put you through,
Y/N" Manu said giving you one last glance, a glance full of despise and walked out the door,
leaving you alone with your guilt.
Now, if Manu had slapped you across the face, or kicked you in the guts it would've probably
hurt less than his words.
You knew he was right, you couldn't even try and argue, he was just right. You had played
with his feelings, used him in order to feel better about yourself and pretty much just to make
Javier jealous.
You felt so ashamed of yourself and you wanted to curl up in some corner and disappear,
everything he'd told you echoed through your mind. You didn't regret your night with Javi,
not in a million of years, but now you saw you could have handled things better, not only
that, you should have handled things better, that was the bare minimum. Manu never
deserved the heartache you put him through and you would live with the guilt of that.
You walked back to his bed and curled up under the blanket, you wanted him there, you
wanted to assure yourself he was real, what you two had was something worth screwing up
your relationship for, but at the same time your ex's words were haunting you. Was Manu
really right? At some point, would Javi just get tired of you?
You didn't know when you fell asleep, but you certainly did so while you were still crying,
and only at the smell of Javier as you buried your face into your pillow was able to calm you
down.
•••
Now, Javier was annoyed.
He wasn't just annoyed, he was pissed off. If he were trapped in a room with Steve Murphy
and Pablo Escobar chances were he would shoot Murphy.
Javi felt he had been ripped off a dream, he'd spent the perfect night with you, the woman he
loved and craved and he had made plans to spend the perfect day with you.
He would bring you breakfast in bed, sit next to you and enjoy your company, maybe share a
cigarette with you. Then, he would invite you to shower and play with your tight, sweet and
beautiful pussy there, kiss your body and soap all over it, so his hand would be a lot slippery
when he explored your body.
Taking you to bed, he would probably rail you, and god, he wouldn't save any of his
fantasies, he would have you on top of him, doggy style, topping you, it didn't matter, he just
wanted your body against his, he wanted to spill inside of you and keep you to himself.
Then, as a gentleman, Javi would take you out on a date and finish this perfect Sunday buried
balls deep inside of you once more. But then, Steve began knocking on his door like a
madman demanding Javi to go check on La Quica information that led to nothing and
deprived him from a whole day of you.
He wondered what you were up to, though. As he drove through the streets of Colombia and
pretended to hear Murphy's words, as he blabbered about his wife, his kid and his life. But
Javi's mind… ohh that was elsewhere.
He licked his lips and focused ahead, but all he could think of was you. He wondered if you
went back to your place, if you'd changed clothes… what if you were on his bed, legs spread
and fingering yourself thinking of him? The thought made him groan and his jeans get a little
tighter.
"Wow, pay attention, man!!!" Steve suddenly said as Javi had run the red light and nearly hit
another car.
"Jesus… sorry" Javier mumbled as he got back to his senses, your sweet pussy nearly got him
killed, he smirked at himself.
It didn't take much longer to get home, he was just so eager to see you. Javi was convinced
you were getting ready for your date, maybe he should have bought you some flowers? He
wasn't sure, he hadn't been on a date in ages, what if you didn't like flowers? Was it possible?
Women usually liked flowers. He could always get some on your way to the restaurant, it
didn't really matter, he just wanted to be near you.
He barely paid attention to Steve saying his goodbyes and got into his apartment. He knocked
on your door first, but as he had no replies, he went to his own, maybe you were still there.
He silently walked inside, and headed to his bedroom, he called you in a low voice but didn't
get an answer, he didn't like that silence and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be taken
back to his pop's ranch, he was sure he would never be welcomed by silence, instead there
would always be music, laughter and giggles, coming from his loving wife, you and your
babies.
He shook his head, he couldn't keep having these thoughts, it was too damn early for that, he
didn't even know if you relationship would last. He wanted to, of course, but he also knew
you deserved better, so if you ever found someone really good and would like to be with the
new guy, Javi was sure nothing could be done.
But those self loathing thoughts died the moment he found you in his bed. You were still in
his shirt and his heart clenched at the image.
You were just so relaxed, so gorgeous, and he smiled at himself. It felt like a whiff of new air,
leaving the suffocating feeling he constantly had in his life, his job and just going home to
something good. Suddenly he understood what his dad meant, fuck, he understood what
Steve meant. It was about having something to come back home to.
Javi got rid of his shoes and sat next to the edge of the bed, he admired you, your hair, your
body. You were everything Javier ever wished for, and he was aware it was too much for him,
but it didn't matter at that time.
His hand went for your hair, caressing it gently, seeing how you barely moved in your sleep.
His hand ran down your back this time, he stroked you over the shirt, and saw how it rolled
up, exposing your cheeks. He bit his lips, your ass was so perfect, so gorgeous, inviting, it
was a sight that would always drive him insane, but at that very moment, he didn't want to
touch you inappropriately, he wanted to feel you closer. He lowered his body and sank his
face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent, it smelled like home to him. Javier
chuckled at himself at how pathetic he was, you definitely put him under your spell and he
loved every single minute of it.
When Javi wrapped his arm around you, you shifted and raised yourself startled as you didn't
even remember falling asleep in the first place.
You turned around and saw him, he looked puzzled, confused even, but you didn't care. You
just threw your arms around his neck and pulled you for a real tight hug. You tried controlling
your tears, but it was hard. That heaviness in your chest wouldn't go away, it seemed every
time you took your breath something stung inside and it was like a pool of tears were being
contained by a thin curtain that was about to burst at any minute.
Javi just held you, keeping you in his embrace as tight as he could, though he immediately
demanded to know what was going on. Through his mind the worst possible scenarios ran
freely, he gulped thinking of what could've happened to you, fuck, for a moment he feared
even someone from Los Pepes had tried to harm you in any way, but when your shaky, low
voice professed the name of your now, ex-boyfriend, everything made sense.
Truth was, Javier was so drunk in love, he spent his afternoon living in a world where only
you and him mattered and only you and him were a couple. No one else existed, no else was
in the picture, so of course he forgot about Manu's pathetic existence, and consequently, also
forgot you were going to talk to him.
"Shit baby, what happened? Did he hurt you? Did that motherfucker harm you? If he touched
a strand of your hair I'll go over there and I'll fucking kill him!!!" Javier raged, though you
didn't seem physically bad, he didn't trust Manuel at all. But your head shook and your grip
got tighter around his body, in a clear sign you didn't want him to leave at all.
So he patiently waited. He rubbed your back, pulling you so close you were now on his lap
again, and for the sweet coincidence of having you on top of him like that for the second time
in less than twenty four hours, he smiled. With the exception that this time you were the one
who needed to be comforted.
And eventually you started talking.
You told him in details, how you noticed Javi had forgotten his badge and you were just so
sure he was the one knocking on the door. You told him about Manu's shock, how silent he
was, until how he crushed you with his words.
But you didn't stop there, you looked into Javier's eyes, not hiding your tears and told him
how every single word Manu had told you was right, how guilty you felt and his heart
shattered, as he had no clue on how he could help you.
Javi cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears with his long fingers and pecked your forehead.
"Guilt is painful too, when you have conscious, it hurts to deceive someone you care about.
I'm sorry it is eating you up alive, cariño, but the damage is done and all I can tell you is that
I'm here for you… maybe it's too soon, maybe it's stupid but if you want to try, I want to try,
we can make something out of this situation… maybe what he talked about last night, about
the ranch, about leaving our jobs, maybe it could happen.."
Javier's eyes were so hopeful, so full of expectation you couldn't even believe in yourself. It
was just too much, too many feelings overwhelming you, crushing you and he was there,
wanting to date you.
Oh my god, the date.
You were supposed to go on a date with Javi, and there you were, crying your eyes out
because your ex barked a few mean words to you.
You felt so angry and so tired, you could feel another wave of hot tears threatening to spill
from your eyes, but his soft touch snapped you out of your crisis.
"Come on, princesa, let me get you home" he said in a calm voice, helping you out of his bed
and crossing the hallway with you. It was funny how close you two were living and how easy
it was to just come and go.
He closed the door to your apartment behind him and once more cupped your cheeks, holding
your head in place and making you pay attention to him.
"You need to rest, you're too nervous… it's just a lot of emotions, I ain't no expert, but I guess
it is making you suffer, so you should take a shower, put on some of your own clothes…" he
pointed at his own shirt that covered so little of your beautiful body "we can just go on our
date tomorrow or some other day, there's no pressure… I can also stay tonight, or not… you
can think about that while you shower" his voice was calm and he just walked you to your
room, opening the wardrobe and picking you something he thought you would enjoy
wearing.
That was some domestic Javier Peña you didn't think you would ever witness. It made your
heart warm, melting slowly and you suddenly felt like your chest had been cleared away, like
a wave of good, positive feelings were going through your veins and for a brief second, that
known feeling everything would be alright.
You didn't even bother looking at the clothes he pick vced for you, instead, you just got rid of
his shirt.
"Javi?" You whispered and waited as he turned around, you rested your arms on the side of
your full naked body, a little nervous, not sure what to do with them, as Javier stopped
everything he was doing and stared at your gorgeous, naked body.
He had touched you, and he had eaten you out, sure, but it was dark the night before, he'd
seen you but not as explicit as he was at that moment, and he loved it.
He could feel his cock twitching in his pants and didn't hesitate in walking to you, arms
around you, pulling you for a deep kiss.
You corresponded to it, wanting his body on yours. It wasn't enough, you were craving him
just as much as he craved you.
"I want you to shower with me, Javi… please" you begged against his lips, though you knew
you didn't have to beg, he would take you right there and then if it were to him.
As you helped him undress, you both jumped at the phone ringing.
You ignored it at first, your hands unbuttoning his painfully see through white shirt, giggling
as you kissed along his jawline and down his neck.
But then the phone rang again, and again and at some point, Javier sighed annoyed and broke
the kiss, walking to your living room and picking it up. He didn't care if it was your mom,
your dad, your sister or Pablo Escobar calling you, he didn't make any efforts to sound
remotely polite, he just wanted whoever was calling you to stop.
"Oh, hello agent Peña… I've been calling your apartment but I had a gut feeling you would
pick up Y/N's phone…" Manu's voice greeted the man with a sinister excitement, he sounded
way too happy for someone who had just found out he'd been cheated on.
"Anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt your night, but as Y/N might have mentioned, I got the
evening shift at the station tonight and we made an arrest… now our prisoner is asking
specifically for you, to see if you can help with the release"
Javier's blood ran cold.
What if they'd arrested someone from Los Pepes, that would explain why that son of a bitch
was probably grinning as he talked on the phone. In fact, the whole call was weird, it sounded
like a trap to begin with, but he'd called and asked for Javier himself, and not for you… so he
didn't really think Manu would try and do something against him, then yes, you confirmed he
had the evening shift that Sunday, which meant he might have been telling the truth.
And it also meant Javier would only find out when he got there.
At first he said no when you insisted on going with him, even if Manu had come up with an
evil plan, Javi was driving towards the office, there was no problem, there were always so
many people no matter what time of the day, so he couldn't really try to do anything against
him. But Javier wasn't comfortable with the situation, what if it was indeed someone from
Los Pepes, he didn't want you to see it, to witness it… it was humiliating, embarrassing even.
But then you gave him those beautiful puppy eyes of yours and he had to give in, he always
did when you begged him right.
As you both arrived not later than 30 minutes, you both saw Manu waiting at the door, he was
in his full uniform and smiling big as he realized you'd come along. Just like he had planned.
He greeted you both good evening, which was ignored as Javier rushed inside, getting to the
cells as fast as possible, you followed him right behind, being also tense and curious to know
who was the mysterious prisoner.
"So, as I was trying to say, the prisoner is an old friend of yours, Agent Peña…" Manuel
couldn't hide his excitement as the two of you stood in silence.
"JAVIIIII!!!" a squeaky voice came from the inside of the cell, where the prostitute was being
held.
"G-Gabi?" Javier stuttered, swallowing hard as he looked from you to the woman.
Gabriela used to be his favorite girl to go to when he needed a hand… or a mouth… or any
other part really. He'd spent quite a lot on her services over the years and the two of them had
the closest thing Javier could call a relationship before you came along. He'd paid for her
services, enjoy them and she would still linger around for a cigarette or two, there was even a
time she ended up falling asleep next to him, and they only woke up in the morning, and of
course, she didn't charge any extras.
Manu saw your jealousy expression and felt so much joy. He had predicted Javier would
screw things up with you, but he just had no idea of how fast he would do it. Even if Manu
was enjoying every single second of it, even he thought it was kind of ridiculous how quick
your fantasy of living a happy life with Javier was falling into pieces. Because even if he did
get his shit together - which Manu and everyone, even you deep down, doubt it, would you
still be able to deal with his past?
Manuel grabbed the key and opened the cell "here it is, the person you requested, ma'am" he
bit his lip to try to hide the smile the moment Gabi dramatically wrapped herself around
Javier's neck and began crying into his shirt, telling him a sob story of how one of her clients
refused to pay so the situation turned into a whole scene and the cops were called and she
was arrested even if it was unfair.
Your stomach churned at the scene and you tried your best to remind yourself Javier had a
life before you, a very busy one, but would that be frequent? From time to time you'd have to
handle ghosts from this past like that?
When that that woman who knew your man better than you did, intimately, more than you
did, wrapped her arms around his neck, you knew you had enough for the night, not only for
that, but for the whole weekend.
You turned around and walked out of the station.
 ELEVEN
Chapter Summary

Three conversations. One with Javier, one with Steve and one with Messina help you be
more honest with yourself and finally make up your mind on what to do

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

That was the only word Javier's brain could process when he realized what was happening.
He was sharp and intelligent, a skill demanded by his job, but at that moment his thoughts
slowed down and he wouldn't be able to decide what to do even if his life depended on it. He
simply had no action at the fact Gabriela, his… acquaintance was standing there, inside of a
cell crying for him. And not only that, that motherfucker of your ex-boyfriend came up with
the perfect bait so you would watch it everything. It didn't help when the cell was open and
Gabi wrapped her arms around his neck, crying for his help in a dramatic way, probably too
dramatic and giving him the pout and teary eyes so he would use his cop privilege to help
her.
And it definitely didn't help his case when he saw you turning your back and walking out the
hallway, refusing to watch the scene.
He had expected something along the ambush lines, maybe Manu wanting to beat him up, or
worse, beat you up, or some sicario from Los Pepes willing to blabber for a very low price
about their deal. His cop mind ran freely through all the horrible possibilities that encounter
could bring to him, and well, to you, but not in a million of years could he predict something
like that would happen. If it had happened to any other agent, he would be laughing his ass
off probably, but at that moment he just found out the hard way it wasn't funny. At all.
Gabi sniffed and placed her hand on his cheek, stroking it gently as she bit her lips, but
Javier's bigger hand wrapped around it and gently snapped it away. He didn't want her
touching him like that, it felt uncomfortable and god forbid if you walked in again and saw
that, he was screwed up enough as he was.
The woman smirked and placed her hands on her waist, taking a good look at Javier and
nodding "you're still looking so good mi amor, I miss you… did you find someone who does
the job better?" She asked with a smirk "that girl seems kinda plain to you, I don't think she
can make you feel like I do…" Gabi bit her lips and took another step closer, her hands going
for his sides, planning on trapping him in a hug, but Javi immediately held her at arms length
and shook his head.
"Don't talk about her, Gabi, it's none of your business, now if you want my help you'd better
shut up or you'll spend the night in this cell" he saw the surprise in her eyes. For all the years
she knew Javier Peña, he had never acted like that. He wasn't being rude, per se, but he wasn't
being his gentle, soft self either.
She thought it was odd, Gabi had never seen him with a woman nor mention one, so what if
that one was special to him somehow? She raised her eyebrow but knew it was best not to
screw up her best shot to get rid of that problem.
You on the other hand, just couldn't watch that scene.
You weren't dumb, you knew about Javier's behavior but it didn't mean it didn't sting to have
that reminder of his past behavior. It felt pretty uncomfortable to see a hooker get all handsy
and at ease around the guy you liked, as if they had shared a dirty little secret you couldn't be
a part of. You couldn't help feeling nauseous at the shredding jealousy you felt. She had
touched him, way more than you did, she'd felt him inside of her so many times, she'd known
his deepest, most lustful desires. His hand must have traveled her entire body, maybe he had
even memorized all of her curves, her details. You hated that. And you hated her for that.
However, that ugly, poisonous jealousy wasn't enough to change your feelings for Javier. You
still loved him just the same, but having to face that woman, the way she whined your
boyfriend's name and…
Wait.
Was Javi your boyfriend? You widened your eyes at the thought, it hadn't occurred to you
before. He kinda was, but he also wasn't, you didn't know. But it didn't matter, you hated the
way she called his name, you were the one who was supposed to whine, call, scream, cry his
name, not any other woman, and definitely not some lowlife skank like that. The way she
wrapped her arms around his neck, for a split second you thought she would get on the tip of
her toes and would kiss him, and god, if she'd done that, you would grab Javier's gun and
shoot her.
Well, not really, but you would definitely feel like doing it.
So you turned your back to them and went to the reception, what you didn't expect was to see
Manu right after you. He had that stupid smug smile on his face and you wanted to punch
him for that. You could tell how much fun he was having with that entire situation and you
weren't going to be quiet about it.
You folded your arms and stared at him, who just chuckled and raised his eyebrow.
"I can't even imagine what you must be feeling now, Y/N… your boyfriend being called by a
fucking prostitute in the middle of the night to come to rescue… in front of the entire team,
and someone will definitely tell Colleen who will spread the news first thing in the
morning… god that is embarrassing" he laughed "I'm almost sorry for you, Y/N… but you
deserve this" he shrugged and you scoffed, if you felt any guilt for betraying him at any part
of your day, now it had all gone away, you felt nothing but anger. Towards Manu, Javier and
mostly Gabriela.
"I'm not happy about it, I gotta give you that, but since you are into gossip, here's one you can
spread through the whole office first thing in the morning, honey" you took a step closer and
smirked "remember the night we spent together? Well, you couldn't make me cum because
you are a pathetic lover, so all the noise I made that night was because I was picturing Javier
fucking me instead" you smiled "and there's more… in the morning, when I woke up, I
moaned his name, because he was the one in my wet dream" you winked at him and saw as
his whole face went red with anger and the way he clenched his fist made you weary, but
before any of you could say anything at all, Gabi walked out the door with Javier. She held
some papers and her jacket against her body, while he looked annoyed and angry.
He immediately picked up the tension in the air and fastened his pace, meeting you in a few
seconds, a protective arm around your shoulders as he looked at Manu, who was clearly at a
loss of words but looking like he could burst in rage at any point.
He thought the best would be taking you out of that place, so he placed his hand on the small
of your back and guided you outside, without looking back. He didn't know what had
happened during that short moment between you and your ex, but whatever that was called
for an exit.
Javier felt the exhaustion in his body, it was just too much confusion for one day, too many
things happening all at once and to make things worse he would certainly have to face gossip
at work the next day.
He walked you to his car, but the sound of heels right behind you, made you both turn
around.
Gabriela was biting her lips and looking at Javier with the same dramatic and needy eyes.
"Javi? Can I get a ride back downtown?" She bit her lips, making sure to whine his name,
you felt a cold shiver down your spine, at the realization she probably moaned his name like
that during sex.
Your cheeks heated up and your heart accelerated with anger, you tried keeping that to
yourself but quickly gave up as Gabriela took another step towards Javier.
"Next time you need my services, I won't charge you anything, Javi" she whispered and bit
her lips, ready to place a peck on his cheek but you immediately stormed in blocking her and
looked at her
"Oh yeah? You gonna give him that good of a discount?" You lowered your voice, staring
coldly into her eyes "too bad he's not gonna take the offer, in fact, Gabi…" you whined her
name just like she did when she called Javier "if there's a next time Javier touches you, you
can bet your pretty ass he will do it while helping the other cops carrying your dead body out
of a crime scene" you said and gave him the same glare "are we going home now or sleeping
over at your desk so we won't arrive late for work, Peña?" You gritted your teeth and Javi saw
you were not joking.
He'd seen you angry, frustrated and upset, but he hadn't seen you pissed off like that. It was
like something took over you as you seemed so fierce, so strong and there was definitely
something sexy to it, which he thought it would be better not to comment on it. He knew a
great part - if not all of it - of your anger was caused by his familiarity with Gabi, and he
definitely didn't want to spark any other conversations about that.
He simply looked down, avoiding the prostitute's pleading eyes and got into the car silently,
not knowing what to tell you or what to say at all.
You, on the other hand, just stared out the window as the streets of Bogotá were nothing but a
blur as Javier drove fast through the night. A growing headache made you sigh in defeat.
Things were not supposed to be going like that at all. According to your first plan, you would
be coming back from a date with Javier, he would have given you flowers, taken you out for
dinner, maybe even danced a little salsa before heading home to a heated night of passion.
But then, things changed when you had your traumatic encounter with Manu, still, you and
Javi managed to come up with a backup plan, better than you thought you would. You were
going to fucking shower with Javi, you were going to be able to touch each other, see each
other, kiss each other's skin and with a little luck he would rail you in bed after railing you in
the shower, but of course things were just too good and too easy for you, so everything got
ruined by that horrible woman, so yeah, you were not happy at that moment.
You could tell Javi was just as tense, he was probably tired too, from all that happened the
past few days, the turmoil of feelings and everything they brought up caused the two of you,
the physical pain of being beaten up, not being able to rest and all the damn problems that
never seemed to go away. And he was also stepping on eggshells around you, it was obvious.
You couldn't blame him, you were actually glad he was being extra careful around you,
because as bad tempered as you were at that moment, you feared you'd snap at him at any
second.
Getting home then, was an awkward task, but you managed to accomplish it thanks to
Javier's great driving skills. He was fast and ran one red light or another, it didn't really
matter, and not too long after, you were finally home. Javi was kind enough to walk you to
your apartment, he wasn't sure what to say or what to do, but didn't actually want to leave
you alone. So he just stood awkwardly in the living room for a couple of minutes before
following you into your room.
You were undressing, kicking off your shoes and getting rid of your sweater. He noticed you
were picking from where you left off before you both had to rush to the station, but this time,
he was sure he wasn't invited to your shower.
"Are we gonna talk about what happened?" He broke the silence and swallowed. It was quite
hilarious Javier had arrested, fought and shot some of the most cruel men in the country
without batting his eyes and yet, there he was, anxious and worried about your next move.
You sighed tiredly and looked at him.
"There's not much we have to talk about, is there? I mean, too much happened in a short span
of time, right Javi? Los Pepes, you beaten up, us sleeping together, Manu finding out and
now your… friend, asking you for help" you bit your lips "it feels like we lived months, years
in just a few days, and it made me very tired… I promise you I am more tired than angry
right now. It was embarrassing for the two of us, having Gabriela getting all cozy around you,
offering you to fuck her for free… that made sick" you admitted "I never judged you for
going out with hookers, but I felt a little humiliated… she knows you more than I do, she has
touched you more than I did" you sighed and Javier could see there was more than just
jealousy in your eyes. There was sadness in them.
You two had been on the run for so long, sometimes chasing each other like cat and mouse
and sometimes you were just doing that dangerous dance, but it felt like you were stuck. As
much as you witnessed and learned things about Javier no one ever had, as much as you were
the one who made him want to grow as a man, who made him open up to love and admit he
was indeed so in love with you, he still hadn't even taken you out on a date, he hadn't
properly touched you, taken his time, given you pleasure and told you about his feelings for
you. Of course he had mentioned his little happy ever after fantasy, but you could have easily
interpreted it as a joke, which he was sure you had.
He realized you had assurance of absolutely nothing and you were now second guessing your
relationship and he couldn't blame you for that.
"So… should I stay or do you want me to go?" He asked you unsure of your answer.
You tiredly shrugged
"It's up to you, Javi… I'll shower now"
You wanted him to have stayed, but you didn't say so, whereas he wanted to stay but thought
he wasn't welcome.
And when you left the bathroom, Javier was already gone.

•••
You were finishing your coffee when someone knocked on the door, you were already all set
to go to work, and you could hear the heavy rain under the roof, the weather was so inviting
to stay in bed and be lazy the whole day, but you knew you had something to do, you just
couldn't remember exactly what it was, but after the whole shit storm that hit you and Javier,
it was natural your memory wasn't that great.
You got up and answered the door, growing surprised to find Steve there.
"Hey Y/N… Peña asked me to drive you to the embassy, he said you and him had meetings
scheduled with Messina but she ended up calling him earlier this morning and asked him to
go as fast as he could.."
Shit.
You had completely forgotten about your appointment with Messina. That's what was
bothering you so much but you couldn't wrap your head around it. You had an idea of what
she was going to talk to you but you had so much in your mind you couldn't even think of her
proposal. You sighed to yourself, already feeling an anxiety creeping up your chest.
"She's probably got something far up his ass now" he chuckled and took your attention away
from your own thoughts. "anyway, it's raining and traffic is crazy, so let's go"
Steve hadn't said much for about ten minutes, but the silence was awkward and you could
just tell he was holding something back. He ran his tongue through his teeth, trying to find
the exact words he could use in order to ask you, but they weren't very good. There was
nothing better he could think of other than the blunt truth.
"So… you and Javi?" He raised his eyebrow at you and chuckled at your surprised face "you
know, it doesn't take a lot of brains to figure that out, you and him have been in this will they
won't they situation for quite a while and it's nice things are getting into the right place" you
frowned and shook your head softly, wanting to say something but being at a loss of words,
so Steve took the opportunity to continue.
"Kinda fucked up I took you for a hooker on Saturday night though, but you were loud"
"Steve?!" You said angrily as you felt mortified at his words, though yeah, he was right and
yeah, you were loud. "Can we just not talk about it? I mean, I don't know what's with Javi
and me, we haven't talked about anything at all, I still don't know if things will work out or if
we should have done it… it's just complicated"
"Complicated?!" He raised his eyebrow and scoffed "complicated was my relationship when
my wife left me!!! That was fucking complicated, Y/N… you and Javi are just two idiots in
love who are too stubborn to admit it, there's nothing complicated about that, there's just you
playing hard to get and Javier having no balls to actually get you"
You were shocked to say the least. Steve had never talked to you like that, or about Javi that
way, out of all the people in the world, you didn't expect that coming from Steve Murphy. For
once, he wasn't one to give relationship advice and you had no idea things were so obvious
like that, were you and Javi that pathetic?
He took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead as he parked in front of the Embassy
"Listen, I didn't mean to sound like a jerk, but you gotta stop for a moment and be true to
yourself. You like Javi, and he likes you too… he isn't husband material, but what if he can't
become one? Maybe he does love you and maybe he does want to do things right, what have
you got to lose? Sooner or later this whole Escobar war will end and we will all go back
home, and you will spend the rest of your days daydreaming about what could have happened
between the two of you?" He asked "just… go with the flow, have fun. If it works you'll end
up with the guy you love and if it doesn't work, at least you get to live some days of
happiness with someone who makes you feel good" he said and looked outside as you opened
the door and exited the car without saying a word.

Peña looked around uncomfortably as Messina kept talking. He had honestly stopped paying
attention to what her boss was blabbering about for at least ten minutes. It was all about Los
Pepes and how they could come up with actions to stop them, at the same time they needed to
come up with actions to stop Escobar. He was just tiring of that labyrinth, because no matter
how much they ran and exchanged turns, they would never find their way out.
"...and lastly, I asked you to come earlier because I got a report concerning your behavior,
agent Peña…" she said opening a file and read out loud the written report about Gabriela's
arrest the night before and saw how he uncomfortably shifted in his chair "... Anyway, one
unidentified agent made allegations you had paid for this woman's…. Services, with money
from the embassy"
Javier's face felt like it was caught on fire. He couldn't hide his embarrassment and couldn't
even look Messina in the eyes. It was obvious Manuel was the rat who made those
allegations, which were not necessarily false, there were times Javier did pay the girls with
american resources, but only when he was pursuing info on the cartels, if the girls after
providing them the information offered their services to him, then he couldn't actually deny
it, but he thought he shouldn't actually tell Messina that.
"It's just that… Agent Peña, I know you have your personal life, but I thought you were
dating that young lady… Y/N… and I don't think that's the correct attitude. You two seem
like a lovely couple and I know our conversation is highly inappropriate, but you are one of
our best agents on the field and I also know how debilitating this job can be…"
Javier thanked the heavens for the knock on the door that interrupted Messina's lecture.
Deep down, he knew she was completely right but it was so painfully embarrassing to have
to hear her scolding him about that. It felt like his mother had to give him the talk all over
again and he couldn't hide his shame.
Messina licked her lips and also looked down at a bunch of paper over her desk, she realized
maybe she had gone too far on prying into one of her agent's personal business, but she was
just so exhausted of her job's impossible and frustrating demands at the same time she had to
handle small, petty feuds between agents like a school teacher would do when her students
were bickering.
Finally, she took a big sip of water and cleared her throat, commanding whoever knocked to
come in.
You took a step inside hesitantly, you could feel the thick tension and Javier's expression was
indecipherable.
Messina nodded at him, dismissing him without using any words and you watched as Javier
got up as fast as he could, wanting to get away from the woman. If you weren't so anxious
about your own meeting, you would have probably laughed at his reaction, he looked like a
naughty boy who was caught red handed and needed to get away before getting into trouble.
You walked towards the chair at the same time he moved towards the door, the two of you
definitely not in your best shape, clearly with your minds elsewhere, especially when Javier
bumped into you by accident, making you squeal softly and gripped his hands on your hips.
You locked eyes with him, as your bodies were so close and if you wanted to kiss those lips
all you had to do was to move a little further and get on the tip of your toes.
And God, you did wanna kiss those lips, you could practically feel them on yours already,
when Messica cleared her throat, clearly irritated at the scene she witnessed.
"Agent Peña, can you please close the door on your way out?"
Javi slowly let go of your sides, though he couldn't look away from you just yet, instead he
nodded at Messina quickly and grabbed his jacket.
You swallowed and tried catching your breath, sitting down and drying the small beads on
sweat that formed in your forehead.
"So, Y/N… I called you here to discuss your transfer to another country, just as you had
requested over two months ago and…" Messina eyebrows furrowed
"Agent Peña, do you mind, please?" She raised her voice, not hiding the anger as Javier stood
at the door, listening to the conversation. He couldn't believe you still wanted to move away
from Colombia. He knew you had filled that request when you both fell out with each other,
but was it possible you would want to leave now? Now that you two were so close to being
together?
You turned around and you had the impression that if you had kicked a puppy on the street,
the puppy's eyes would look less sad than Javier's. You swallowed and didn't say a word, as
he closed the door as quietly as possible and left you and Messina alone to discuss your
future.
Javi waited by the marquee as he lit another cigarette, he was impatient as he watched the
raindrops falling just a few centimeters from him. He wasn't sure if you wanted him to wait
for you, but he wanted to see you, to talk to you. He had been longing for it ever since the
night before. He wanted to have stayed with you, held you until you were asleep but he
wasn't sure if you would want the same, so he decided not to overstep things.
He could have waited inside, so he would catch you as soon as you left Messina's office, but
the anxiety was too constant and he needed a smoke to relax some more. No matter how
much he tried distracting himself or thinking about another thing, it all went back to you.
What if you were going to transfer… what would Javi do without you? He couldn't just quit
his job and go after you, would you even want that? So many things worried him to no end at
the same time his heart ached, he didn't have a good feeling about that at all.
You couldn't believe yourself when you left Messina's office. She had offered you the
opportunity you had been dreaming about for so long, even before going to Colombia, all you
needed to do was to say yes and hop on the first plane to Europe. You would leave that blood
splash behind. Escobar, Carlos, Manu and Javier.
It would all become nothing more than a distant memory, of a turbulent phase of your life.
You could start fresh, in a new city, a new opportunity to live your life.
But you would be loveless, because you would leave your heart with Javier and you couldn't
do that.
You looked around the Embassy and couldn't find a trace of him, you hadn't asked him to
wait for you, but you had a feeling in your guts and a small hope in your heart he would be
there. The rain had almost stopped and you thought of going outside, maybe he would be
there smoking a cigarette.
You fastened your pace, your heart beating so fast as you finally found him. You could
recognize him like that anywhere. His back, his hair, his tight jeans highlighting Javi's cute
ass. It all made you giggle and you rushed to him, you didn't care if you looked like a crazy
woman running under rain, you just stopped when you grabbed him by the arms, pulling him
slightly as you hadn't quite stopped at the right time and pecked his neck.
"Morning, agent Peña" you smiled as he threw the cigarette butt away and turned to you. He
was shocked to say the least. First, he hadn't expected you being so happy to see him, at all.
In fact, his pessimistic tendencies had already convinced you would rush home to pack your
bags and go back to the USA as soon as possible.
However, there you were, smiling, gripping his body. Shit, get it together, Javier. He told
himself and immediately placed his hands on your hips, tighter than he did in Messina's
office just some moments ago, pulling you closer, he watched your face, wanting to find any
clues of what was your final decision.
He licked his lips and felt his heart pounding in his chest.
"So? Did she offer you the job? Outside Colombia?" He swallowed and you nodded "is it
good?" He questioned, seeing you nod again.
"New York, Javi… big deal" you said and saw how his eyes lost the sparkle, you felt guilty as
he just assumed you had taken the job, you decided to end that torture, but he was faster.
"W-when?" His voice broke a little and he immediately cleared his throat, ashamed of
showing you some of that gutting feeling. "When are you leaving?"
You frowned at him and smiled.
"I'm a little confused Javi… I thought I was- actually, we were supposed to leave only when
we moved to your dad's ranch… isn't it what we talked about?" You asked and wrapped your
arms around his neck, pulling him closer "I'm only leaving Colombia when you leave it with
me, then we'll go to Laredo, right? You'll take care of your pop's ranch, and I'll get a job at
the courthouse or something… that until baby Peña shows up…" you smiled when you saw
Javier smiling.
All the tension in his body dissolved, pulling you even tighter as he couldn't believe his ears
at your words. You had actually listened to him, you had liked his plans. You weren't leaving
him, you were giving him a chance and he couldn't be more thankful for it.
"But it feels kinda weird to plan this huge trip without even going on a date first, doesn't it?"
You asked and grabbed his left arm, taking a look at his watch to see what time it was.
"So, you got two hours to figure out where to take me… I'm going home to get ready, and
remember, Peña… no date, no happy ending in our ranch with our family" you winked and
pulled him for a kiss, his big hand cupped your cheek, but you quickly said goodbye and
went home.
You had a date with Javier Peña before you could start your life with him.
 TWELVE
Chapter Summary

You and Javi go on your date and that leads to other activities and some confessions too

You ran home as if your life depended on it. You couldn't wait to get to your place, soak
yourself in a warm shower and pick yourself an outfit. You were giggling like a schoolgirl
and you didn't even care. After the talk with Messina, Steve and Javi himself you had never
felt more sure of something, but now you did. You were going on a date with the man you
loved, a man you began an unlikely friendship with and it evolved to a passion, unrequited at
first, as you thought but later found out it was just as flaming as on your side. You two had
gone through so much, it'd been only a year you had landed in Colombia knowing nothing
than a few expressions in Spanish, and no one, but against all odds, Javi took you in. Of
course, you were supposed to be just one of his many conquests, but you were honest,
straightforward to him, and you admitted that if you hadn't been so hurt after your latest
breakup you would definitely jump into his bed.
He took a liking on you, not only the usual liking he did when a girl was hot, but he actually
liked you, and your voice, and your laughter and your brains and you got closer, until things
went to shit, but that's history.
What mattered to you now, was that that whole cat and mouse catching game was finally
over. Of course, there's a thrilling feeling about it, with it's ups and downs, it's tensions and
certain moments, but in the end, it grows old, it gets tiring and all you wanna do is to be
honest. And that was your moment with Javier. It was the beginning of something special,
and the two of you could feel it. Of course, the ranch talk, the possible marriage, baby Peña,
it all was some kind of inside joke, you never put much faith in it, though at the same time a
part of you hoped really hard it would get to that point. But first things first, as you had told
him, you couldn't plan a whole life without going on a date first.
It wasn't a big deal as you had already slept with Javier, but at the same time it was a big deal
because Javi didn't take girls on dates, he fucked them and that was it, so if he was going to
actually go through all those stages, it was because he had good intentions.
After your showered, you made sure to apply lotion, makeup and get your hair in a cute style,
all so you could be pretty for yourself and mostly for Javi.

When Peña stepped inside the building, he was also in a hurry. He had to go back to the
office and have a meeting with Steve, but all he could think of was taking you out. He would
be lying if he said he wasn't excited, he didn't even remember when it was the last time he
went out on a date, and that also made him nervous. What if he screwed it up somehow? Or
what if you thought he was too old-fashioned… so many things haunted him as he felt the
anxiety build up inside of him, but at the same time, a longing to see you, hold your hand and
be seen in public with you was also growing. He didn't want to hide, he didn't want to keep
you just for himself inside the doors of your apartment, but he wanted people to see his girl
was beautiful, he wanted them to envy him and wonder how a guy like him could get a girl
like you.
He wondered if you shared the same feelings or the same thoughts, and if you were also
anxious. He also knew it was very recent and maybe even reckless to take you out literally a
day after you broke up with your boyfriend, but Manu felt like a bump on the road and
nothing more, it was like his participation in your life didn't even exist, besides, Javi and you
had been dancing that tango for a long time, it was about time things got done.
He still stopped by a flower shop and got you a beautiful bouquet of red orchards. He didn't
understand a lot about flowers, but he knew you found these pretty, and all the women in the
world supposedly liked red flowers, so he figured it would be a good choice. He walked
through the hallway and felt an urge to knock on your door, see what you were doing, what
you were wearing - if you were wearing something at all and maybe initiate the date a little
early. But at the same time, he wanted things to be classic, he wanted to follow the social
rules and make you feel flattered. So he only smirked when he heard music coming from
your apartment and got inside his.
Javi looked at himself in the mirror, he had tried several shirts before settling with his red
one, and yet, he wasn't sure if he should go with that one. He wanted to look good, he wanted
you to look at him and feel the same thing he felt when he saw you. Maybe it would match
the flowers? Or maybe was it too red? He wasn't really sure, but he glanced at the clock and
saw he was almost running late, so he just placed his watch back on, got his wallet, the car
keys and went for your door, knocking on it hesitantly.
He looked around, hoping Steve wouldn't show up climbing up the stairs, or worse, Connie.
He just wanted to get you out of the building and have a good night with you.
You opened the door on his third knock, you were just finishing getting your earrings when
you finally saw Javi. He was standing there, looking like sin, with those tight jeans that hung
so perfectly to his sexy body and that red shirt that made your core boil. You smiled big at
him, leaning in and pecking his lips as you saw a blush spreading through his cheeks and he
cleared his throat.
"Uh.. these are for you" he smiled softly and handed you the bouquet, which melted your
heart. You weren't expecting it, but it was a very sweet gesture. He was just your sweet lovely
Javi, there was no trace of that ruthless agent, or the guy who was a heartthrob and collected
broken hearts and women around town. You loved that, because it was all for you.
•••

Javi was nervous.

And he was embarrassed about the fact he was nervous. It was crazy, he was on a date with
you, the woman he loved and though you two knew that, it was still the beginning, you were
trying to do things by the book, because you deserved it, but there he was, looking like a
moron as he tried finding words to say.
He had drunk a whole glass of wine and still hadn't found something decent enough to talk
about. Work? Los Pepes? Messina? Nah, he didn't want to bother you with it and he didn't
understand why everything seemed easier when the two of you were just friends. It was like
you didn't have that pressure, or maybe he was putting too much pressure on himself. He just
worried you would snap out of the illusion being with him was a good idea and realize you
deserved someone better, a better looking guy, someone who didn't have such wrong ways or
someone who could actually make conversation during a date.
And as if you had been reading his mind, you placed your hand on top of his, giving him one
of your reassuring smiles and chuckled.
"You're nervous, agent Peña…" you said sweetly and stroked his hand with your thumb "you
know you don't actually have to be nervous, right? It's just me… your Y/N… your cariño"
you blushed softly "and you're my Javi… and you don't have to try to impress me, let's just
say you already won me over" you winked at him and watched as his shoulders relaxed and
he took your hand in his big ones. His thumb ran across his bottom lip like it often did when
he was thinking about something and he nodded.
"You're right, princesa… I was too worried about giving you a perfect first date, that I forgot
we could just be ourselves" he admitted "I wanted you to see that I take you seriously, that I
want you, for real, not just as a game…"
You thought it was adorable to see Javier like that, your heart was a melted puddle of love
and affection for the man who stared at you with the biggest brown eyes you'd ever seen,
seeking your approval and nervously hoping you were enjoying his company. If only he knew
how much you loved him, he would know he was acting crazy.
Yes, you were excited about the date, but now that you were there, in public, holding hands
and sharing a meal, you saw you were so much more than those vanilla couples who needed
to go out once a week to remind themselves they were in a relationship. You were in front of
Javier Peña.
You were in love with Javier Peña, and as far as you were concerned, Javier Peña was also in
love with you, and there was absolutely nothing more you could ask from the heavens. So
you simply moved to the chair next to his and hugged his arm, resting your head on his
shoulder, loving how close he was and how close he would be, without you fearing him move
away from you or push you away. He immediately softened up and lowered his lips, kissing
the top of your head
"I'm just happy you decided to stay here, I know New York was a big deal but I promise I
won't disappoint you and I will make your stay worthy" he said sweetly and your eyes met
his, leaning in and kissing his lips.
Javier had the best lips you'd ever seen in a man, the way they just clicked perfectly with
yours, being so soft and so smart, knowing exactly what they were doing, was something you
would probably never get used to, and you loved every single aspect of it.
When you broke the kiss, your hand stroked his cheek gently, as your nose bumped against
his softly, making the two of you giggle "I love our date, Javi… but I also know we are not an
ordinary couple, we don't have to do what other couples do and it's fine by me…" you said as
your hand went for his crotch, gently stroking it over his jeans as his eyes widened in surprise
"we can just finish our night somewhere else, if you'd like, mi amor" you winked at him and
leaned in, kissing his neck, lips just ghosting over his skin before you nibbled it gently.
Javi's tight grip wrapped around your fist, stopping your snoopy hand right there. He knew
you could be one feisty little thing, but he didn't take you for that kind of tease… and he was
loving it.
"¿Qué estás haciendo, mi amor?" He whispered against your ear as it was his turn to lean in
and spread kisses all over your neck. You groaned and giggled, biting your lips before
stealing a peck from him.
"I think we should go somewhere more private, Javi… like your car" you whispered to him
and saw how his eyes darkened with lust and eagerness at your suggestion.
It only took him a few minutes to pay the check and you were soon inside his Jeep. You
watched him drive, looking for a dark enough place to park, his handsome side profile
already making you so hot and bothered because you could never wrap your head around the
fact he was incredibly handsome.
You weren't sure you would be able to hold yourself back and ignoring completely any safety
guidelines you began kissing his neck.
"Shit, baby?!" Javi groaned as he stopped the car abruptly, not being able to focus on driving
and you touching him.
You giggled and slid your hand under his unbuttoned shirt. You felt his hot skin against the
palm of your hand and knew you needed more. Your free hand went back to his crotch, his
rough jeans were in the way and you were getting so impatient, you began unbuckling his
belt.
Javi still hadn't found a decent parking spot, but he was so eager to feel you, he took his hand
to your hair, stroking it softly as he couldn't get his eyes away from the road, but he also
couldn't get away from your touch. You smirked and bit his neck harder, earning a ounce of
pain from him and his arm running down your back, getting to your ass and giving it one
smack
"Fucking slut" he said through gritted teeth and watched as you opened his jeans, his boner
was so apparent your mouth watered.
"Javi, I wanna be your little puta, I need you…" you begged him, freeing his cock from his
underwear and watched as he bucked his hips.
Javier groaned and cursed under his breath, you saw his tip glistening with pre cum, using
your thumb to spread it all over.
Javi knew he wasn't going to be able to drive, so he just parked under a broken street lamp
and gripped your hair.
"Wanna be my puta? Go ahead princesa, show me you can do it, muñequita…" he said with a
tight grip on your hair, he was impatient and he didn't want teasing. You also didn't want to
wait any longer, so you took your mouth to his long, thick cock, giving his tip small, little
licks before taking his length down your throat as deep as you could.
His hand lifted up the hem of your dress, exposing your ass and caressing all over. He pulled
your thin panties to the side and found the curve of your lips, running a finger up and down
your slit, gathering your juices that pooled in your entrance. Javi threw his head back, your
hand massaged his balls as your tight throat made him feel so good. His thick fingers got into
your hot entrance and he pumped them in and out. He felt you squirm and the car was filled
by nothing but obscene and erotic noises.
He wasn't going to hold back and let you know his hot load was coming, pleasure and bliss
all over him as you willingly took all of it into your mouth and swallowed it.
He panted as you raised your head, you looked like a hot little mess for him and he could
only pull you for another kiss, not caring if he could taste himself in you.
"Go to the backseat, querida" he whispered against your ear and waited until you got in
position.
Javi followed you immediately, helping you get on your knees and hands and held your hips
in place "now you're gonna be my puta, got it?" He whispered and smacked your ass a few
more times, seeing the reddish shade spread but didn't give you enough time as he spread
your cheeks and stuck his tongue into your cunt.
You whimpered at his ministrations, his tongue explored your pussy, going as deep as he
could, finding your clit and suckling on it, feeling how your knees faltered but sustained your
weight with his hand. His tongue moved up to your ass, touching your muscly ring and
feeling it clench so sensitively at the unexpected stimulation.
"Javi" you could only whimper, but he shushed you, wetting your asshole and letting you
relax, enjoying the new experience.
His hand found your clit, rubbing it up and down, feeling how hard it was and knew you were
close. He shoved his fingers into you again, fingering you as fast as he could, thumbs
taunting your clit and tongue into your sweet hole until you were nothing but a puddle of
pleasure, shaking and cumming for him.

"My bed tonight" Javi said as he opened the door to his apartment and immediately pulled
you against his body, kissing you hungrily as if he hadn't just fucked you in his car less than
an hour before. He just felt such hunger for you, the way you put your dress back on in a
sloppy way, not caring if your panties got lost in the backseat of his car, or how you couldn't
stop touching him. How your hands wrapped around his cock in your beautiful bloody red
nails and how you swallowed every drop of him. He just couldn't get enough of you, your
post orgasm messy hair, your beautiful smile and your intoxicating perfume.
He loved every part of you. And he wasn't scared of admitting anymore.
"I don't think I'll make it to bed, Javi" you bit your lips, and went for another kiss, his arms
wrapping around your body as he lifted you up and took you to the couch. He didn't want to
wait anymore, as much as he loved to be in your mouth and have your taste on his tongue, he
needed to be inside of you. He wanted to feel your walls squeezing and milking him dry, he
wanted to cum inside of you. He didn't even know if you were on birth control, but he didn't
actually care, he just wanted you.
Javier got on the couch, pulling you to him and touching your body, getting lost on you. He
finally stripped you out of your dress completely, revealing your beautiful breasts, perky
nipples that went straight to his mouth, licking and suckling on them, at the same time he
helped you lower down onto his cock, loving how your soaked cunt took every inch of him.
He held you by the neck, having a firm grip on it as he watched you ride him, as if you were
the most gorgeous piece of art in the world.
Javi threw his head back, hips bucking as you moved up and down onto his cock. He praised
you, cursed under his breath, he wanted you whole for him, at that moment and forever.
He felt his balls quivering and the knot on his lower belly tightened as much as yours did too
and you knew you were cumming for him again at the same time he came for you, his thick
hot load spilling inside.
"Te quiero, Y/N" he whispered against your lips, kissing you once more, never getting
enough of you. "I love you cariño" he whispered.
You smiled and tiredly rested your body against his, feeling a wave of happiness and pleasure
ran through your body
"I love you too, Javi"
 THIRTEEN
Chapter Summary

Some insight on your relationship with Javi, where everything is going perfectly, until
his secret with Los Pepes is out

You felt yourself waking up slowly at the same time you tried focusing back into your sleep.
You didn't want to wake up just yet, the blankets over your body felt so comfortably warm,
the mattress underneath giving you the complete relaxation you craved as you buried your
face in the pillow and tried returning to the dream you were having.
You didn't remember much about it, but you did remember you were in a big house, you
didn't know where exactly, but at the same time everything seemed familiar.
You walked through the hallways of it, taking in all the details that were so different and yet
so known to you, picture frames on the wall, that passed by as a blur though you had the
feeling you'd seen them many times.
You followed your instincts, going down the hallway and finding the kitchen, immediately a
small little girl rushed to you, hugging you as tight as she could and giggled "mommy!!!!"
she squealed happily and pointed at the counter, where Javi was standing, placing the dough
inside the small, star-shaped baking pans "daddy and I are making cookies!!!" The little girl
you quickly learned was none other than your daughter informed you with the happiest smile
on earth.
Javi smiled too, leaving the cookies on the counter and walked to you, kissing your lips
gently and caressing your stomach, that much to your surprise was round with a baby bump
"we missed you and our big boy too" he told you and held your hand, taking it to his mouth
and pecking it as well, just as you could see a wedding band around your finger.
Your heart raced and you thought air was lacking from your lungs when you immediately got
up and looked around, rubbing your eyes and looking for any traces of the scenario you were
just experiencing.
You gasped as it had been such a real dream, but now that you realized you were finally
awake, you could tell the images were already fading. Suddenly, the house didn't seem so
familiar anymore, you didn't remember any longer what shape the cookies were, and the little
girl's face was nothing but a fog, and god, it hurt because she was the most beautiful thing
you'd ever seen. Your heart clenched at the realization she was just a product of your memory
and you would never see her again. It was so upsetting to realize that and you wished you had
the ability to draw, at least you could maybe try to get a picture of her pretty face. You were
clueless to why that particular dream made such an impact on you, distractedly thinking of it
as you jumped startled when you felt a hand brushing against your hair.
"You okay cariño?" Javi asked you, staring into your eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed and
watched as you looked at him with the confused fog of sleep. You then nodded, smiling
gently at him
"Yeah, I just had a weird dream, that's all…" you bit your lips and ran your hand through
your messy hair before wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tight. You took a
deep breath, inhaling Javi's post shaving cream's scent and closing your eyes at how warm he
was against you. It always soothed you to have him so close to you.
Javi on the other hand didn't actually get why you were clinging so tight to him, you were
whimpering in your sleep and he worried you were having nightmares about him. He knew
how much you've been worrying about him and his connection with Los Pepes now that
Pablo's situation was getting unbearable and he felt both guilty and concerned that he was
putting you under unnecessary stress.
"It's okay princesa, I'm here… your breakfast is ready" he whispered to you and kissed your
neck gently. He smiled at you, loving your sleepy face and cupping your cheek, you laughed
softly
"You know what? I was just having a dream about a very domestic Javier Peña and now I
wake up to you making me breakfast?" You raised your eyebrow and got off bed, stretching
your body and not bothering getting dressed at all.
The way you moved your naked body caught Javier's attention immediately and whatever
thought he might have had in his mind just disappeared and everything went blank. He didn't
have any other reaction but get up and follow you, his hand on your hips as he tried pulling
you to him,
"Don't be a bitch, mi amor, I always make you breakfast" he purred, kissing your shoulder
but groaned as you got into the bathroom and locked the door. He sighed and went back to
the kitchen table, knowing you would only return after your shower and much to his
disappointment, fully clothed.
He poured himself a cup of coffee as he thought of the morning routine the two of you
established. You had been officially dating for a little over a month now, after nearly a year of
playing a cat and mouse game and Javi would be lying if he said that was the happiest he'd
ever been. He just loved to have someone to come back home to, someone he could actually
talk to, be affectionate with, someone who understood him and didn't demand things he
couldn't give. It was different this time, all the times he'd been in a relationship he was often
frustrated, or uncomfortable or feeling suffocated, but now? Javier Peña was a house cat who
loved waking up early to make his girlfriend pancakes even if he pretended the pancakes
were for him.
He just loved waking up to you all tangled around him, your smell on his sheets, his pillows,
your hair all over his face, he didn't care. He liked waking up next to you, he liked seeing you
smile at your breakfast plate ready for you, he liked how great you smelled after coming out
of your shower, if there was something he didn't like, however, was how you teased him
every single morning by leaving bed naked and walking past him, knowing how much he
wanted to touch you, but then, you would leave your morning shower and sit right on his lap,
and that could lead to many other things.
Even if the two of you would arrive late at work almost on a daily basis, it was still worthy.
You hadn't actually announced your relationship to anyone, but people figured it out
eventually, the first ones being obviously Connie and Murphy, and you actually liked it,
especially after you and Connie started hanging out more when the boys were out at work,
and that led the four of you to some double date nights, and it was nice. You liked that
coziness of the situation, how the four of you could act like friends and forget about work
while sharing a nice meal and some drinks.
And of course, that bitch you called Colleen walked on you and Javi making out during your
lunch break and made it public to everyone else. At that point, Pablo Escobar himself
probably knew you were banging each other.
What he didn't know - and no one, really did it - was that you and Javi weren't just banging.
You were dating, for real, because you two were in love, you were in love for real but it was
actually best no one cared for these details, it was none of their business at all, it was the part
of your relationship that was only about you and Javi and you two were happy like that.
You finally exited the bathroom, only one of Javi's work shirts over your body. You loved
how he eye fucked you whenever you wore any of his clothes.
You pretended you hadn't noticed it and walked to him, ignoring your own chair and sat on
his lap
"Buenos días, agent Peña" you said and watched his frown. He wasn't agent Peña to you, he
was Javi, your Javi. You pecked his lips and quickly sat straight, pulling your plate of
pancakes and dug into it with a big bite.
Javi wasn't a great cook, in fact, he was terrible, but there was something about his morning
pancakes you just loved. Nothing tasted better to you than them, just to think he made them
for you, it was enough to make you drool for it.
His arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder as he sighed "do we
really have to go to Murphy's tonight?" He mumbled and nuzzled your neck, making you
squirm softly at the sudden shiver
"Yes Javi, I already told Connie we're going, besides, it's lasagna night and you know no one
makes that better than I do…" you said and tilted your head to the side, so he could have
better access to your neck.
You closed your eyes as his mustache tickled your skin, before his lips got closer and you
whimper. Your hand went for the side of his head, fingers tangling into his hair as you
pressed him against you a little more.
"Why? You don't wanna go?" You asked feeling suddenly so bothered to be still and moved
your hips unconsciously. You felt him shrug against you
"I just wanted to stay with you tonight… but fine" he said in a low voice and then frowned "I
can't fucking believe you took the shirt I was going to wear to work today! I gotta see
Messina" he said though he felt a pit of guilt at that last part. It was a lie, he wasn't seeing
Messina, he was going to see Judy, the head of Los Pepes, but he often hid that from you. He
knew it made you anxious and worried, and he didn't want to ruin another day for you.
Besides, he was sure nothing bad would happen, he would go over her place, listen to that
bitch's claims and return to the office as if nothing had happened.
You chuckled and shrugged "well, your shirt was lying there, and you are shirtless now… I
figured if you wanted to wear it, you should have claimed it first" you laughed.
His mind snapped back from the concern about his later meeting and smirked, you were such
a little tease.
"Ay princesa, eres tan dulce…" he said as his hands went up and unbuttoned the shirt, one by
one, opening them slowly and letting your breasts spill out of it "... Pero también eres mi
puta" he whispered against your skin and quickly massaged your breasts. His fingers toyed
with your nipples, pinching them gently as his big hand ran it's way down your stomach,
obviously finding you completely bare.
"Fuck, Y/N… you didn't even bother putting on clothes… are you trying to kill me? Or is it
just your way to beg me to fuck you, cariño? Uh? You like to be such a filthy slut for me,
don't you? You like when people call you Javi's puta, don't you?" He whispered into your ear
while you only whimpered.
His right hand found your warmth between your legs, cupping it softly, feeling as you parted
your legs with no resistance so he could touch you. His left hand ran up again, wrapping
around your neck, holding you in a firm grip
"Come on, use your words, I asked you a question.."
"Yes…" you whimpered.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, I like when people call me your puta, Javi…"
He only groaned into your ear, at the same time his hand sank deeper towards your core,
being welcomed by your slippery slit, always so sinfully wet for him. Javi's long fingers
parted your lips, the wetness already coating their tips as he moved them up and down,
finding your clit and applying pressure to it. He could feel how your ass rubbed against his
crotch, his shirt being barely able to cover it for you. His rough jeans burning softly, in a
tempting torture, your body responding to his immediately, his touches always descending
you to madness at how well he knew you, how well he could manipulate your pleasure. There
was never a lover like Javier in your life, and there would be another one. Good thing you
didn't plan on leaving him, because if you ever did, you knew you were doomed.
You threw your head back at the same time his fingers went further into your pussy hole, you
gushed over his hand, feeling the pleasure build up, he could play you like a fucking doll, no
wonder he called you muñequita, you were completely his to be played with and you loved it.
He removed his fingers off you, the disappointed whimper that came out of your lips was a
lot louder than you intended, which made him chuckle.
His left hand went for your chin, holding it in place as you obediently opened your mouth to
welcome his coated fingers. You sucked on them, licking them clean and watched as Javi
finished unbuttoning the shirt, finally revealing your entire naked body "here's what we're
gonna do, cariño, you'll be a good girl for me, got it? You'll lift your hips and you'll sit down
on me nice and slowly, eating your breakfast while I'm shoved balls deep inside of you, got it
amor? You know you can do it, mariposa…" he teased, helping you lift yourself up, waiting
as Javi opened his jeans and freed his hard cock. Then, he helped you lower yourself on him,
moaning at how your slippery walls clenched around his girth. You, on the other hand, called
his name, every time he got inside of you, felt like the first time. You were so drunk in his
cock, but it was more than that, you were drunk in love and you couldn't even hide.
You tried moving your hips, but his hands held you in place, not allowing you to make any
moves. He meant it when he said you would have your breakfast while he was buried deep
inside of you, however, you couldn't bring yourself to actually eat anything, not when you
had that aching need of being touched, of bouncing up and down onto his cock, it was too
much for you. You asked Javier for mercy, tried to explain how much you needed him, and
though he tried not showing how his cock twitched each time you purposely clenched your
cunt around him, he wanted you to be a good little puta for him.
Javi handed you some fruit he kept on the table though they were never eaten in the morning,
but it didn't matter. He got some grapes, taking one to your mouth, your clit twitched at the
same time he gently rubbed it against your lips, before finally allowing you to chew on the
sweet grape. Repeating the steps with the remaining others he had in hands.
And only when you were finished with them, Javi's palms went for your hips, gripping them
and helping you to move. Now, he was tired of waiting, he was twitching inside of you and
he helped you up and down faster and faster, only stopping when you had come for him and
he finally spilled his thick load deep inside of you.
You relaxed your back against his chest, feeling tired but happy, also very thankful to
remember it was your day off. You had plans of maybe cleaning up the apartment a little bit,
as you often spent more time at his place than yours, but after he rocked your little world
during the most important meal of the day, you figured it wouldn't hurt to maybe go back to
bed and take a quick nap. You just wished you could drag him back with you, you hated to
have to say goodbye in the morning like that. Not when you wanted to rest your body against
your boyfriend's and fall asleep in his arms.
"You're amazing, princesa" Javi praised you and once more sank his face into the crook of
your neck. You still had him inside of you, though you could feel him softening. Javier
inhaled your scent again, he never got enough of how good you smelled and if it were up to
him, he would spend the rest of his day… no, the rest of his days like that.
And after that feverish, erotic need for each other, he was back to being your sweet Javi. This
was another thing you loved about your relationship: the hunger you had for each other
wasn't just sexual, though it represented a big part of it, the hunger you felt was physical,
emotional and sentimental.
You smiled and turned your head to him, kissing his lips, your heart was nothing but a puddle
of love at that moment.
Javi's hands went for your shoulders, sliding down the shirt off your body and helping you
get up. As much as he hated it, it was time to go to work, so he had to face his morning
torture, which was leave the safehouse you had built together and go outside and face reality.
It just didn't feel worse because he knew that at the end of the day, you would be there,
waiting for him.
You went to the bedroom and returned fully dressed, this time wearing your own clothes and
smiled as he put on the shirt that just a few minutes before was still on your body. Javi could
even pretend to be impatient about you stealing his clothes, but the moment he put his shirt
on and saw it smelled just like you, he smiled. It was one good thing to get him through the
day.
You walked Javi to the door and kissed his lips goodbye, reminding him you loved him and
couldn't wait until he was safely back home.

You got under the blankets and sighed happily, thinking of your life and how good things
were at that moment. A part of you was still skeptical, not believing things would work out
for you and Javi, you sometimes worried he would grow tired of you, maybe he would fall
into old habits, the temptation of having to get information from the women he often did, but
you immediately shook these thoughts off and reminded yourself that wouldn't happen,
because you trusted him, you showed him he was worth of love, he was worth of having a
life with, that he was a good man, who deserved a partner to support and love him no matter
what, and that man, in return, was at your feet. Connie's words, not yours.
But you felt it, you felt Javi cared about you, you felt he cherished you, he longed for you,
you just felt he loved you, and that always made your heart flutter. You were lucky to have
each other, no one believed Javier could have a connection with someone like he did with
you, maybe, at some point after meeting him, you wouldn't have believed it either, but there
you were, being his, just as he was yours.
You took his pillow and sniffed it, loving his to sink deep into his scent and smiled, you
thought of the weird dream you had had, recognizing the elements of it, as everyday things
you talked about. The place you were was clearly the ranch he lately had been telling you so
much about. It was the place he was born and grew up, owned by his dad and some day in the
future, it would be his. As far as Javier had told you, his dad didn't have a lot of money, but
life was good in the ranch, and after he retired from the DEA, he would be able to provide
you in case you didn't want to get a job.
You had jokingly discussed that, like you always did, like the very first time he suggested
moving into the ranch and leaving Colombia behind. You sensed there was some truth to his
words, but you didn't want to read too much into it, these were huge plans, and you were still
pretty recent, even if you were so drunk in love.
He had talked about baby Peña a couple of times too, both times you two ended up laughing,
as it was clearly just some amusing daydream, some inside joke that was part of your make-
believe future together.
The only time this joke got a little out of hand was about after a month you two made it
official and you had to leave your desk several times during the morning to throw up. You
just couldn't keep anything inside, and during your lunch break, when you were sat at Javi's
desk, sipping some water, looking pale and sweaty, Steve chuckled at the two of you "seems
like baby Peña is on its way" he said and made both you and Javier stare at each other in
shock and annoyance. You were nearly passing away out of dehydration and he was
insinuating you were pregnant. Neither you or Javi said anything, but you could tell the
nervousness in his actions. It hadn't even crossed your mind, and probably it hadn't crossed
his either, you knew you weren't pregnant, it was just food poisoning, not your first in
Colombia and definitely not your last one, but still, it felt like Murphy's comment threw some
kind of tension towards the two of you.
That night, after Javi got tired of hearing you throw up to the tenth time, he drove you to the
hospital, hating to see you sick. He had to wait by the reception and when you exited the
doctor's office with a prescription, he raised his eyebrow.
"So… baby Peña?"
"Baby Peña happens to be last night's fish you insisted on having for lunch" you told him,
showing him the prescription to the few meds the doctor recommended you.
The two of you laughed together, deep inside, you knew a baby wasn't exactly a possibility.
Well, technically, it was. You were on birth control, but contraception could fail like anything
else in the world, but at that moment it just felt like it wasn't a possibility, you two weren't
there yet, you hadn't even discussed the possibility of getting there, but it didn't matter
anymore, it had just been a misunderstanding.
Javier stared into your eyes for a while, he opened his mouth ready to say something, but he
quickly changed his mind. He wanted to have said he would be by your side if you were
actually pregnant, he wanted to have told you he would take care of you and your baby, but
instead, he just rolled his eyes
"Steve's really a dick"
So that was why your dream puzzled you, even if the baby talk was present in your life, a
baby was just a blurry idea, but seeing an actual child, a little girl and feeling her wrapping
her little arms around you and calling you mommy, brought a warmth to your heart you just
couldn't explain. It felt so honest, so beautiful and so pure. You figured it wouldn't hurt to just
dream of it, no one needed to know about it, not even Javi, not now, it wasn't the right time.
You shot your eyes open when you were hit by the sudden realization of where you'd seen the
pictures that appeared in your dream. If you remembered correctly, they were scattered on the
walls of the hallway you walked through and you knew you had seen them before. They were
all pictures of Javier's family. You knew he kept them in a box somewhere in his wardrobe,
you'd seen them briefly when he was looking for some extra ammo for his gun but couldn't
find exactly where they were. He didn't exactly show you the pictures but he didn't hide them
either and a suffocating feeling of curiosity began growing in your chest. What if you got the
box and watched the pictures? He wouldn't get upset, would he? Well, for starters, you didn't
even need to tell him you went snooping through his stuff.
Sure, they were personal stuff and you would probably be upset if he did the same to you, but
it was not like you were trying to find something to frame on him, or steal anything, you
wanted to take a look at the pictures and that was all. After all, it was just a weird coincidence
they happened to randomly appear in your dream.
You decided to just go for it, it wouldn't be too big of a deal, you would leave everything
organized afterwards so if Javi needed to check anything there, he wouldn't even notice.
You got off bed, folding the blankets and leaving everything organized, just like you and your
boyfriend liked it.
Boyfriend.
It still made you chuckle at times.
You didn't take much longer to find the box Javi kept his personal things, it was just in the
bottom of the wardrobe, under a couple of folded bedspreads Javier had but usually never
used. It wasn't a big box, but it was heavy and you would be lying if you said you weren't
excited and curious to dig into Javier's memory box. Sitting comfortably on the floor, you
crossed your legs and removed the lid, taking a peek inside and saw the many pictures you
recognized from your dream.
You carefully took them and watched them, taking your time as you were so entertained by it.
There were pictures of his father at his young age, his mom, whom he never spoke a lot
about, but when he did, it was always with so much love and admiration. She was truly
beautiful and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Javier had taken his mother's eyes.
A picture of them on their wedding day, another one where his dad had his hand around his
wife's pregnant bump. And the next picture made you squeal out loud, you gushed and
couldn't help but acting like a silly little girl when you saw a picture of baby Javier Peña. It
was the original, naked bum, baby Peña! You thought you would die of love at the picture of
Javi as a baby, he was so adorable and yes, he's always had the stray puppy's eyes. You were
loving each passing second of that activity. You went through all the pictures of Javier's
childhood, he was such a cute boy, his hair was a lot lighter back then, and his smile was
always bright, funny to think he would become a grumpy DEA agent just a few decades later.
You saw some other pictures of his extended family and another one of his group of friends.
You could tell it was his friend group from highschool, mostly because he had his arm
wrapped around the waist of a blond beauty. You rolled your eyes at the realization it was
Lorraine, probably from the time they still dated. You knew it was kind of stupid, but you still
felt a sting of jealousy. You hadn't even met her, and if you did, you would probably
sympathize with her, you two had been through very similar things in life and Javier had
broken her heart in a horrible way. Even if he had apologized to her, after all the years, it was
still a real bad situation. If you ever met her, chances were she would hate him for having
Javier and not the other way around. Besides, Javi had left her at the altar, if he ever regretted
breaking things up, he could have gone after her, but he didn't, he was with you, he just kept a
picture of his friends, it wasn't like he kept a picture of his ex and himself.
You felt a little shy for being jealous for a moment as you put the photographs back in place
when your hand accidentally hit a smaller box. You frowned curiously and took it realizing it
was a jewelry box. You opened it and found a beautiful ring inside, the one you immediately
recognized it as his mother's ring.
You knew he had inherited the ring so one day he would give it to the woman he loved and
had plans to spend his life with. No wonder Lorraine got the ring when they got engaged, you
remembered when Javi had a few drinks one night and told you between laughter she got so
pissed off she refused to return him his mother's ring, and the only reason they managed to
recover it was because Chucho had to personally go to her house and have an honest chat
with her dad, who then, made her return the ring.
You didn't know Chucho trusted his son with the ring again and you didn't know he had
brought it to Colombia.
Then suddenly, a thought occurred to you. Would you ever get his mother's ring?
You didn't know, but it was time you stopped snooping around his things, so you took one
last time at the beautiful golden band, adorned with a gorgeou red gem. It was simple, but so
heartfelt. You smiled at yourself and placed everything back into place.

•••
"Fuck this, I'm out!" Javier said angrily as he stared at Judy's cynical face. He was done
working with those people, they were as bad as Pablo Escobar. They were a cartel, who
brought as many problems as Escobar did, just because their power wasn't as extent as their
common enemy, they were still criminals. They were a cartel, they produced, sold and
profited from drugs, they killed people everyday, good and bad people and they only acted
upon Pablo, because they wanted to take his place in the drug cartel chain. When you use a
plague to exterminate another one, it doesn't mean they aren't plagues anymore.
Judy on the other hand just laughed as she nodded at her sicario, who immediately grabbed
Javier and shoved it against the couch
"I think it's too late for that, what would people say if they knew a DEA agent had an
agreement with Los Pepes? Do you think the american press would be pleased?" She asked
calmly taking a sip of her drink and watching as Javier stared at her.
"Besides, we know you have a girlfriend, you make a cute couple, I'm sure you as an agent
would do whatever it takes you to protect her, wouldn't you? Of course, Los Pepes would
never do anything to her, but we can't assure Pablo's sicarios wouldn't… you know what I
mean, Mr.Peña?"
Javi went pale at the mention of you, which didn't go unnoticed by Judy who chuckled and
shook her head "I'm just joking, agent Peña, you know how family is important to me, and I
would never risk anyone who matters to my alleys… as long as they remain my alleys" she
said.
Javier understood it perfectly and calmed down, nodding at her as they continued their
meeting. He wanted to grab his gun and shoot her in the face, he figured he would be able to
take down the men in the room but then, it would only take the men who stood outside
maybe thirty second or less before they could burst in and shoot him to death.
It wasn't worthy, he wanted to go home at night, he wanted to go home to you. He wanted to
leave that place, go back home, find you and forget about the world, about everything else.
He wanted to keep you safe, he wanted to hop on a plane with you, take you to Laredo and
initiate his retiring plan, but he couldn't. He was too deep in it and could only hope Judy kept
her mouth shut until they captured Escobar and Javi could find something else to do with his
life.
He was just worn out, stress pouring through every single pore of his body and he just needed
to get home to you, he needed you. Javi knew that was probably not healthy, not once in his
life he had such a deep need for a woman, but he wasn't in the mood to fight that off. He
groaned as he remembered you would have dinner at Steve's, checking his watch and seeing
you were probably there yet, but at least that'd give him time to shower, cool down and try to
get Judy and her threats out of his mind.
He walked into his building and distractedly looked for his keys in his jacket pocket. He
knew they had to be there, but for whatever reason he was taking long to find them, he didn't
see when Steve approached him and only felt when the other agent shoved him against the
wall. Javier frowned pissed off and his first reaction was to fight back, even if it was his
friend, he didn't hesitate before backhanding Steve just as hard "what the fuck man?" He
groaned at the other agent.
"I should be the one asking you, Javi. What the actual fuck? You had a meeting with Judy
Moncada?"
Steve saw the way Javi widened his eyes at his words and couldn't help but laugh at how
stupid he looked
"You really thought you would be working with Los Pepes and no one would find out? You
thought I wouldn't find out?" He pinched the bridge of his nose and waited for Javier to get
his key, so they could talk inside.
Steve sat through the whole explanation Javier gave him. It didn't matter if it made sense or if
he seemed to be right at some level, he didn't agree with that. They'd been discussing the
actions of the death squad through their latest meetings with the CIA and some people
insisted the problem was getting bigger and bigger. He could tell Javi was in deep shit, the
kind of shit he couldn't just break free, because if Los Pepes didn't try to kill him and that was
a long shot, he would certainly face legal actions from the US government.
"What about Y/N? Does she know?" Steve asked and couldn't help but feel disappointed as
his partner nodded, confirming the information "I bet she's fucking proud of you, Peña" he
groaned, but Javier immediately frowned.
"You can bet your ass she's prouder of me than Connie is of you, at least Y/N doesn't run
away when shit gets worse" he spat completely in the defensive and though Murphy's blood
boiled, he knew it was a stupid idea to bring the misses into the fight. Both you and Connie
were not to blame if both of them were a mess.
"You know, the girls are upstairs now, they're probably laughing as they share a bottle of wine
and talking about our dicks or the fact we are both morons…" Steve said "just let's have
dinner with them and pretend nothing happened and we deal with that in the morning" Steve
sighed and stared at his partner until Javier nodded in agreement.
When you saw Steve entering the apartment alone, you frowned softly "where's Javi?" You
tilted your head, curious to know why he wasn't there yet, and not hiding how eager you were
to see him.
"He's showering, he should be here soon" he simply said and pecked Connie's lips.
You could tell something was bothering Murphy, but you didn't actually think it was your
place to worry about that at all. Instead, you finished assembling the final layers of the
lasagna before putting it in the oven.
Another ten minutes passed, before Javi finally walked through the door. He had just got off
shower, you could tell by the way his hair was still humid. He glanced at Steve with certain
anger, and you were sure something went on between them, bur before you could actually
worry about it, Javier's arms immediately snaked around your waist, he placed a kiss to your
neck, as you had your back to him, while you washed some dishes in the sink.
"I missed you princesa" he whispered against your ear and made your heart turn into a puddle
of love. You had been away from him less than twenty four hours and yet, it felt too long.
You turned around and smiled big, the same smile that made Javier's poor heart skip a beat.
Kissing him immediately as you wrapped your arms around his neck. If it were up to you,
you would have just ditched dinner and went back to your place, or his place, or even his
Jeep, you didn't care, so you could be just the two of you together.
But Olivia's soft tugs on your pants made you break the kiss. You looked down at her and
chuckled as she extended her little arms to you so you gladly picked her up, nuzzling her
cheek and making her giggle. She looked at Javier curiously and gripped his hand tight.
"See princess? That's uncle Javi!! Do you like him? He's handsome isn't he?" You cooed at
her, who gave you both a sweet smile and continued holding his hand with her tiny one.
At that moment, nothing in the world disturbed Javier, no cartels, no violence, no uncertain
future in your job due to his poor decisions, because all he could think of when he saw you
holding that little princess in your arms, was the only thing he was sure, the only thing he was
proud of and the only part of the future he knew it was certain: his future with you and the
family you two you build together.
 FOURTEEN
Chapter Summary

Dinner goes wrong when Murphy can't control his anger over Javi's association with Los
Pepes and uses you as a way to offend him. Javier isn't pleased and ends up taking out
on you

Olivia chewed her food slowly, her content face as she savored the mashed potatoes and well-
cooked veggies and very so often shot you and Javi adorable little smiles. She was an
adorable child, eating her own food which you also prepared, while the adults enjoyed their
Italian and the bottles of wine.
You had already finished one with Connie before the boys arrived, so you really knew you
should stop yourself right there. You definitely didn't want to wake up vomiting all your way
to work, you were definitely not ready to have Javier holding your hair back while you
emptied your stomach in front of him. You knew he would do it without complaining, just as
you would do it for him if he ever needed it, but you got really embarrassed at the thought of
it. It wasn't a very sexy image. You were also in no mood to face any pregnancy jokes,
because it seemed women were only designed to have one condition which implied growing
a child in their womb, especially at your work environment where it was dominated mostly
by men and their narrow points of view or women like Colleen who would love to overhear a
juicy gossip and spread it through the country even if it had no proof of it being real.
And the third reason was because death would probably be sweeter than facing a hangover in
the Colombian heat.
So when Murphy offered you another glass, you politely declined, helping yourself to another
slice of lasagna, hoping you could filter the alcohol in your blood by putting something in
your stomach.
He shot a glance and raised the bottle at Javi who also shook his head, which you thought
was odd. Javier Peña never refused a chance to get intoxicated in alcohol.
You went back to focusing on Connie's story, though Javier's hand was restless on your thigh.
That wasn't common of him either. Of course he had the habit of touching you, but he usually
just rested his hand on your skin, however, you could feel how he squeezed your thigh softly,
you didn't mind it at all, but you knew him enough to tell it wasn't normal. There was
something bothering him, but not only him, Steve was also bothered, angry even, as he very
often made snarky remarks towards your boyfriend. It wasn't unusual for the two agents to
have conflicts concerning work, both of them were stubborn as a mule and if they didn't
agree on something, things could get bad between them, but at the same time, they always
managed to leave their work beefs at work, so whatever happened must've really angered
Steve.
Javi took a deep breath, side glancing at you as you ate. He was hoping you would be
satisfied enough so he could come up with any excuse to go home, at the same time he didn't
want to rush you, it wasn't your fault he was a dumbass who only took bad decisions in life,
well, not only bad ones, you were the living proof Javier could get some things right, but
other than you, the rest was just a long shot.
When Steve mentioned something about work, Javi began to restlessly trace patterns on your
skin. It was as if he had gotten into a nervous state, though you didn't get what exactly
happened, it was like the two of them had an inside joke going on, one that was not funny at
all.
You then remembered your interaction earlier that morning, when you put on his shirt and
Javi had told you he was going to wear that during his meeting with Messina and you
immediately relaxed at the same time you felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears heating
up at the immediate memory that flooded you of what came after he had mentioned the shirt.
The way he'd gripped your neck, touched you and filled you up with every inch of himself. It
felt like you had been lost in paradise. Also, it became a fair assumption the discomfort
between the two agents was their boss's doing. She must have been feral on them during their
meeting and Murphy probably blamed it on Javier, or Javier blamed it on Murphy like they
usually did.
The tension you felt dissolved completely and you actually enjoyed your boyfriend's little
touches under the table, they weren't erotic, - Javier wouldn't do that. Yes, he was the kind of
guy who would definitely finger you under the table in a crowded place, but no, he would
never even consider doing that if there were any kids nearby. But the touches were intimate,
affectionate. You bit your lips, pretending you were listening to every single sentence in that
conversation, but in reality you were trying to distinguish what exactly Javier's finger was
invisibly drawing on your skin, you could feel steady lines, following a rhythm order and you
couldn't help but smile big when you finally broke the code.
P
E
Ñ
A
That's what his fingers traced on your thigh.
It was so silly and childish, and yet a sweet reminder of your relationship. He marked you as
his even unconsciously. You couldn't lie at all, it felt pretty good.
Olivia yawned big and felt her little eyes closing on their own as sleep became so intense she
couldn't keep her little head from hanging low. Connie chuckled as she noticed her daughter
being so sleepy and immediately got up, picking her up gently and disappearing into one of
the rooms of the apartment.
Murphy took the opportunity his wife and daughter weren't in the room any longer and
smirked as he raised yet another glass of wine towards you before killing it in one sip.
"So, Y/N… you and Javi are a thing, for real now, huh? Remember just how a few months
ago he was a real dick to you? He treated you like absolute shit and even fucked a hooker that
looked just like you, or so I heard…" he laughed softly "good thing you are a real sweet thing
and you can overcome those ups and downs in your relationship, because trust me, sweetie,
I'll really need this resilience"
Just as shock was everything that went through your body, anger was the only thing that ran
through Javier's veins. You both could tell Steve was drunk from the amount of wine he'd
had, but he should've known better than to bring shit up like that. It was none of his business,
and still quite of a gray area for the two of you as you had pretty much ignored it and
pretended it never happened, when in reality you just hoped everyone else would do the
same. It had already been pretty humiliating and painful as it was and you definitely didn't
need anyone, let alone Steve bringing that up.
Javier slammed his hands on the table, immediately getting up and pointing a finger at Steve's
temporary madness. It was one thing if he was pissed off at him. If he wanted to punch Javier
in the face he could even do it and Javi would definitely not give two shits about it, but
teasing you and bringing you into that situation, that was too much for him.
"Shut the fuck up right now, Steve. Why are you even saying shit like that? I made a lot of
mistakes but this is none of your fucking business, I don't talk about your personal life, so
why are you doing this to us? To her?" He pointed at you, as you kept your head low, you felt
so ashamed at that moment, still clueless to why such thing had been brought up like that, but
Steve didn't care at all.
"Sorry Y/N, didn't mean to embarrass you, but I was also wondering if you know your
wonderful boyfriend is being threatened by the head of the Los Pepes death squad? Do you
know she has promised to end his career in the DEA by going to the american press?" He
asked "can you believe that?"
You didn't say anything at the same time Javier's voice filled the room initiating an argument
with Steve, hoping he would stop talking.
"Here's a great idea, Jav… instead of jeopardizing our entire mission, you could give in to
your impulses and fuck Judy, maybe it will help us all… I'm sure Y/N wouldn't mind, deep
down she knows she can't expect much from you… or maybe she would understand
perfectly, I'm sure she would take this bullet for the team"
You didn't know why Steve was acting that way, why he was suddenly so angry, you could
understand his frustration, of course but it didn't explain why he decided to use you as a
target to hit Javier. He could have just talked about his posture as a cop, insist on argumenting
how wrong associating with that squad was, but using personal elements to provoke Javier
was too much.
"Why are you doing this Steve?" You finally raised your head and stared at him, your cheeks
already wet with tears you couldn't control at the anger and shame of being treated that way
by someone you thought was your friend.
You could have raised your voice, defended Javier, defended your relationship with him, but
you felt so weak and small at that moment, as if you were just a stupid little girl who fell for
the Romeo's cheap tricks. You knew you couldn't let Javier's past intrude your relationship,
he had changed, he wasn't that jerk anymore, he was a good man, actually he had always
been a good man but he didn't believe in himself. You believed in him and that made him
believe as well, and that was why your relationship was working so perfectly, but no one, and
especially no one you considered a friend had the right to bring those things up. It was mean,
hurtful and you felt you couldn't stay there any longer. If Murphy had a problem with Javier,
he should solve it with him, and not drag you into the eye of the storm.
You got up and grabbed your coat, walking to the door at the same time Connie returned from
the room and watched the warzone her dining room became. She didn't understand why
Javier was screaming at Steve at the same time her husband pointed at you and mumbled
something she couldn't actually understand and you cried, but she knew it wasn't good.
She called your name, trying to make you stop, wanting to talk to you and ask you what was
going on, but you turned your back to everyone and walked away, running downstairs and
locking yourself up in your apartment.
Javier on the other hand was livid, he wanted nothing more than throw punches at Steve, he
didn't understand where that attack came from, Javi knew he had all the right to be pissed at
the Los Pepes association but that should have been handled in the office and not during a
double dinner date, and not by attacking and teasing his girlfriend. Javi also knew it was the
only way he would get a reaction from him. If Steve had said anything about Javier, he would
have probably shrugged it off, but the moment he brought you into the deal then Javi got
angry. To the point he didn't know any better and finally punched his friend, feeling Murphy's
face under his fist and blood immediately soaking his pained knuckles. He didn't want things
to go like that, but it was partially if not mostly Steve's fault for acting like a dick around
them all.
Murphy immediately fought back, throwing a punch at Javi, who groaned and was ready to
get back at the other man once more if it weren't for Connie screaming for them to stop. She
was terrified, in all the years they'd been together, she'd never seen her husband act like that
and especially not towards his partner.
She desperately asked them to stop, but Steve seemed to only had fallen back into his senses
when Olivia also screamed in fear, so scared at the commotion happening in the living room
and snapping her away from her sweet dreams.
Murphy finally stopped and looked at his wife's shocked face, then looked back at Peña, who
was panting and wiping the sweat off his face.
"See the shit you did, Javier? You can never do anything right!" He said angrily and paced
the living room, "my daughter's crying now, scared because of your fucking scene!!! Not that
you understand what that means, because you are never gonna have that, Javier. Never! You'll
screw up just like you did with your job, I don't even know why you still try it!"
•••

Javier immediately left the apartment and ran downstairs, the whole environment was
suffocating him, but not as much as Steve's words. He knew people didn't take him seriously,
not his friends, not his partners at work, not his hometown and not even his dad. And he
never really cared about it, or the part of him that actually cared was long gone and buried. It
was easier to handle things that way, Javier taught himself.
But lately he had learned to trust a little more in himself, because you had faith in him, you
were the only good thing he had in life and he hated himself to be brutally reminded he didn't
deserve you like that, he hated how you left the room crying, disappointment after
disappointment. Of course to some extent blaming it on Steve was the logical attitude, but if
it weren't for himself, there would be nothing Steve could have used against you. He had
done all those things, he had humiliated you with a fucking prostitute, not only that, one that
looked just like you, it was disgusting and low, and he honestly didn't know why or how you
had forgiven him.
Even if the whole death squad drama didn't happen, you would still have to face shame for
the rest of your life just because of the mere fact of being with him. It didn't matter where you
went, if it was Colombia or Laredo, people would always point fingers at you, whispering
and laughing at the fact you chose Javier Peña.
He wanted to disappear at that moment, it weighed so heavy in his chest, he felt so guilty and
ashamed of himself.
At the same time he needed to see you, he wanted to avoid you. He hoped you weren't so
upset, so broken at what happened, you were such a strong girl, but even he could tell Steve
stroked a delicate point.
He stood in front of his apartment and opened the door, walking inside and calling your
name, having no answer and swallowing hard, as he knew instantly you were back at your
place. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply, a bad feeling taking over him as
his heart raced at the absence of you.
He turned around and went for your apartment instead, an anger filling his body, running
through his veins. He knew he couldn't just aim his anger with Steve at you nor his self-
hatred, but god, it made his blood boil not to find you there. All that talk about love,
partnership and understanding just went to shit because of Steve's tantrum?
He didn't knock, instead he used his own key and burst the door open, making you jump off
the couch startled. You sniffed as your eyes were red and puffy, being obvious you'd been
crying for the past half an hour.
You looked at him, not liking how dark his expression was, he wasn't looking at you with
soft, loving eyes, you could see the burning rage and you didn't know what else had
happened, but you trusted he wasn't going to be childish and take it on you.
"What now?" He asked and folded his arms "is it because of Judy and her threats? Or is it
still because of the hooker?" He asked annoyed and looked at you up and down. He was just
so angry, at any other time, he would have wrapped his arms around your body, pulled you
closer and made you forget all about what was hurting you, but at that moment, Javier's
feelings were a turmoil and he couldn't control them.
You dried your tears and walked to him "why are you being so rude? It's not my fault" you
said and stared at him, why Javier was snapping like that was beyond you.
Javier scoffed and shook his head "I'm not being rude, I just asked you a question, are you
gonna cry about that too, Y/N? I thought all that talk about forgiving and believing I was a
better man was real, but every single time something about my past comes up you're gonna
cry like that?" He was visibly impatient at the same time he was willing to give everything in
order to shut himself up before he could screw things up.
You frowned and shook your head "yeah, I meant all that when I said I believed you, and that
I trusted you could be a better man, Javi… you are a good man" you said "but this is not the
way of talking to me, it hurts Javi… I don't hold it against you, but it does hurt… it is
something you did to hurt my feelings and you knew it… and now with Los Pepes… you are
in danger, your career Javi… what if they try to kill you?" You blinked some more tears, but
his expression was indecipherable.
He scoffed again and looked at you
"It doesn't make any sense, there's nothing any of us can do about it, cariño. I've always been
a bad guy, too bad you couldn't see it, or you saw it and that was why you liked it so much"
Come on, Javier, don't say it.
He begged himself and bit his lower lip softly
"I don't think this will work, Y/N…"
You shook your head and took a step closer to Javier, he couldn't just regress to what he was
before, no, you two had made such progress, you were so in love with each other, he couldn't
just do what you thought he was about to.
"What are you talking about, Javi? It is working between us" you said as your breath
accelerated and the blood in your ears almost made it hard for you to hear.
"It is working, but it's not gonna work in the long run Y/N"
"Are you breaking up with me?" Your voice cracked as you stared into his eyes.
No, never. He thought. He couldn't hold himself back now, he had made so much progress he
was just so happy, he just wanted to fall on his knees and show you he was yours and only
yours. But he didn't.
"Fuck this"
He said and turned around, walking out the door.

•••
You didn't keep track of how long you were crying by yourself. You couldn't believe and
wrap your head around what happened. Just as you had got Javi, you had made plans with
him, you had envisioned and fantasized a life of happiness and love with him, moving into
his ranch, living your life next to him, maybe getting married one day and even maybe
bringing a baby into the picture, all of that, it seemed so real to you and just like that he
walked away from you.
Anyone could see it coming, but you couldn't, because they didn't know Javi the way you did,
they didn't love him the way you did and they didn't know he loved you the way you did. He
was so affectionate, so in love, always in need of touching and feeling you next to himself, he
couldn't just walk away from you. Yeah, what had happened was bad, but all the path you
walked together couldn't be undone just by one simple occasion. Steve's words couldn't be
that powerful, could they? Or Javi wouldn't just break your heart with that stupid excuse of
keeping you safe or because he knew you deserved better. That grew old, you didn't buy
anymore. One part of you didn't believe your Javi, your lovely handsome boyfriend would
ever do that, but on the other hand that was exactly what it looked like. He had just walked
away with no further explanation.
You felt so lost, so alone as if the ground had disappeared off your feet and you desperately
needed to find a grip back to reality. The beautiful moment you lived with him couldn't be
over just yet, you couldn't accept that was ever all you would get of him because the cold
truth snapped you away from the fairytale you lived for the past two months.
Those two months of pure happiness and bliss, of affection and amazing sex couldn't be the
only thing to your relationship with Javi, because you were certain those two months would
ruin the rest of your life, you would never be able to be happy again.
You desperately felt the need of being close to him, even if he had just left you wanted to feel
his warmth, his embrace, smell his cologne, you wanted to cup his cheeks and make sure he
was real, he was still yours.
So you didn't think twice before walking into his apartment. It was where you were supposed
to be sleeping, where you should be tangling yourself into his body in bed, naked, rapid
breathing and rhythm moves bringing the two of you to the bliss you craved so much with
your man. Everything about that place hurt when you stepped inside. It had become so cozy,
your true home, more than your own apartment and yet, the desperate possibility of not
having free access to it every single day just made your heart tighten in your chest.
You didn't know where Javi went, a teeny tiny little part of your brain tried haunting you,
planting the jealousy and anxiety seed, reminding you of all the shady sketchy places he often
went to to pick up women before getting with you, but you quickly dismissed it. You had
hopes it wasn't nothing but a misunderstanding, and even if it weren't, you thought Javier was
better than that. Chances were he just went out to some bar to get drunk and forget that night
ever existed, and it was what you should do too. If he had the right to low-key break up with
you and go get drunk, then you also had the right to forget.
With the exception you we're already tipsy from all the wine you had had earlier, before
everything went to shit, and that you were in Colombia and that was definitely not a safe
place for a woman to walk alone at night.
Also, the fact you weren't a DEA agent carrying a gun for protection weighed on it.
A gun.
A gut feeling told you to immediately look for Javi's badge and gun, if he had left them at
home, it meant he left for a bar or somewhere else, though you really didn't want to even
think of that hypothesis.
You shook your head and got off his bed, going to the safe place he kept them both and
opened it, finding it completely empty.
Your mouth went completely dry.
He had taken his gun and that could only mean problem.
When Javier drove back home he wanted to punch and kick himself for being that stupid. He
couldn't even begin to explain to himself all the things he did wrong. Was it jeopardizing a
whole investigation by allowing a death squad to finish the enemies they had in common?
Was it letting his temper get in the way of his friendship? Yeah, Steve was a douche and he
deserved that punch, not only for himself but for embarrassing you like that. As Javi had
thought over and over: Steve could have talked about anything about Javier, but not about
you. Not when you were so good to them, not when you were his girlfriend and Steve's
friend. It was mean, cruel even and also a cowardly move coming from him. But now,
thinking clearer, Javier knew he could have handled things better, maybe he could have just
left and let the soberness of morning light handle the situation better. It would've been wiser
to do that.
But out of all the bad things Javier did that night, definitely his attempt of pushing you away
was the cherry on top of the cake.
He didn't know what had got into him, the whole situation led him to an unbelievable anger,
one he should have aimed at anyone but you, because you were the only good thing in his
life, you were the one who made it all worth it, you were the one he loved and wanted to have
a future with.
And yet, he acted like a real bastard. He purposely hurt you, he left you in the dark and now
he was terrified you had taken things to the letter, he just didn't know what he was going to
do if you walked out of his life. If you did it, he would deserve it, but he was sure he would
die.
Javi parked and got out of the car, his head pounding at the adrenaline and the booze, the
punch, the stress and the fear of being alone. He sighed, he shouldn't have done any of the
things he did that night, especially not after he grabbed his gun and left, but he saw no other
way out. Javier took a look at your apartment door, you were probably there, asleep or crying
yourself to sleep, as everything was dark and silent, so he just entered his place, knowing it
would be just as dark and empty as it was the first day he moved in.
And you were there.
You were there as if nothing had happened, as if you hadn't been treated like shit by Steve
first and then by Javier himself. He just couldn't believe it.
"Y/N…" he whispered and walked to you, seeing your puffy eyes, the tears caused by him,
still present. You were still wearing the same dress as earlier, and god, you looked gorgeous,
he wished he had told you before. When you were still having dinner with your friends, when
he had his hand on your thigh, tracing his own name on your skin.
You didn't move, as you watched him walk towards you, you didn't see the storm in his eyes
anymore, but you didn't see the joy in them, they were empty, sad… red.. was Javier tearing
up? No, you must've been seeing things, you had never seen Javi cry.
Suddenly, he felt a wave of disappointment in himself, he knew what that scene looked like,
even if he still carried his badge and gun, anyone who'd met him before would've guess he
had taken a quick trip to a brothel and he felt ashamed of that, of himself and the fact people
would always either laugh at you or would pity you for it.
"You're probably thinking I went to a whorehouse or something… Y/N I-"
You cut him off, shaking your head and whispering no repeatedly. Even if, yes, for a split
second your anxiety made you consider the hypothesis, but you dismissed it right away,
others could think whatever they wanted of Javi, but you knew him. You trusted him.
"No, Javi… I think better of you, I think the world of you and I trust you you wouldn't do this
to me"
And that broke Javi.
Because you were too kind, you were too good for him, you were everything he didn't
deserve it.
You always assumed the best of him, and he could never find anyone better than you. He
wasn't in a whorehouse, he was at a whore's house. He went over to Judy Mocada's and
against any better judgment he pointed a gun at her head, how her sicarios didn't kill him on
the act, he would never know, but she thought it was intriguing, amusing even. What made a
DEA agent hold her at gunpoint in the middle of the night definitely caught her attention.
He had made her an offer, she agreed and he needed to wait for her at the Embassy the next
day. A part of him knew it was easy, too easy, actually, but he didn't care at that moment. In
fact, he felt he should've blown up her head when he had the chance to.
And then he just wanted to go home and pick up the pieces of what he'd shattered.
And there you were, being too kind to him, being too loving, too affectionate. It just showed
him little of a person he really was.
And standing right next to you, Javi felt onto his knees. His head looking up at you, all the
love and admiration back in those beautiful brown eyes, his arms wrapped around your waist
and pulled you closer.
"Soy un perro a tus pies"
Javier told you, his breathing was uneven as he waited for an answer that never came. You
didn't have words to tell him, after all that happened in just one night you didn't know what to
say. So instead, he decided to apologize to you in the best way he knew, the way he could
speak beautifully without any words.
He sank his face into your core, lifting your dress up and quickly pulling your panties to the
side. He lips didn't tease when they wrapped around your clit and sucked on it, feeling your
characteristic warmth, your taste, and when your moans filled the room and your fingers ran
through his hair, tugging and gripping at them, he thought that maybe and just maybe things
would be alright again.
 FIFTEEN
Chapter Summary

Javier does his best to apologize to you, which isn't a lot but it is enough, especially
when he decides he needs an important answer from you

If you had the guess the cause of your death, you would have guessed: Javier Peña
Because that devilish man, was indeed, the death of you.
He chewed you up and spat you out and you didn't even complain about it because he could
make you cry and whimper and beg you for more.
And that was exactly what happened. After nearly giving you a heartache, of pretty much
breaking up with you, disappearing for several hours at night and making you sure you would
be alone, Javier got into his apartment, fell onto his knees, your knees, called himself a dog at
your feet and then started eating you out.
You barely reacted other than throwing your back against the wall for balance and
whimpered. Loud. And then you moaned and called your name. And a part of you had a petty
desire of screaming his name as loud as you could, so you could get in the way of Steve's and
Connie's fight because there was no way he could get away with that behavior without being
scolded by his wife, and then, in case they had already finished their argument and went to
bed, you wanted to wake them up, by showing them unlike what Steve had said, you and
Javier were going strong, that you were a real couple, that your relationship was for real, no
matter what Steve, or anything thought of it, you loved Javi and he loved you.
"Fuck you Javier" you whimpered as he only raised his brown eyes at you, but didn't stop his
mouth from wrapping around your clit, suckling on it and dragging another moan from you.
You gripped his hair, the same forceful grip he had on your hair when you blew his cock, he
often fucked your face, so it was only fair you fucked his face.
You looked at him and bit your lips ``listen to me, Javier'' you managed to mumble between
moans and pulled his head away from your cunt, watching as he swallowed and ran his
tongue over his lips, smearing with your wetness. Javi had the puppiest eyes in the world as
his thumb wiped a drop of your honey and he paid close attention to what you had to say
"you don't get to do shit like that and then come back here, so if you wanna make it up to me,
you gotta do it good, Javier. You got me? You gotta make me scream'' you said, staring
daggers at him.
He swallowed again and nodded once more, he would do anything you asked him,
commanded him, demanded him if it meant you would stay with him. He was so into you it
was pathetic and now he couldn't even hide it anymore, you were a necessity, an obsession,
something he craved and begged for every day and night.
You gripped his hair again and pulled it rather painfully "me has dicho que eres como un
perro a mis pies, ¿No? Entonces, muéstrame"
You didn't often speak Spanish with him, but when you did it was enough to drive Javier
Peña insane, it was like adding the code and pressing the buttons to set off a bomb.
He immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your center closer to his mouth.
Your back was against the wall, at the same time he leaned forwards, his big hands guiding
your legs to his shoulders, and his face back deep into your core.
His jeans were tight and his cock throbbed inside of his pants, but at that moment Javier was
so hungry for you, he was at your feet, savoring your sweet, juicy cunt and he wanted that
forever.
His hands went from the side of your thighs to your lower belly, your skin always felt like
butter under his rough touches and he carefully used them to spread your lips open, revealing
you entirely for him.
Javi could see your clit hard and sensitive, twitching at the air as he stopped to watch his
work of art. He smirked softly and gently kissed it, drawing whimpers from you.
"Don't tease me, perro" you gripped his hair again, feeling a little annoyed and gasped as you
felt Javier's teeth scraping softly against your bare clit. He very softly placed a love bite on it,
making you squeal and immediately suckled on it, as air escaped your lungs and you moved
your hips against his face.
His knees hurt and his shoulders burned but he didn't give one single fuck, he was having his
time with you and even if he had to take all the painkillers in the world it would be
completely worth it. The way he devoured you was something else, Javier had always been a
great pussy eater, but at that moment he wanted to blow your mind and he was achieving his
goal as your legs shook and you tried as best as you could to sustain your own weight.
Javi's tongue explored your pussy, sliding it up and down and finding your pouring hole, your
sweet juices floating his mouth as he tongue fucked you, going as deep as he could, feeling
your internal walls squeezing it at the same time his perfect curved nose brushed against your
clit, driving you insane.
You were so caught up in your pleasure, calling his name like a prayer and never wanting it
to stop, but the urgent knot on your lower belly sent shivers down your spine and before you
could even warn Javi you were cumming.
Hard.
For him, on him.
Javi couldn't sustain your weight any longer and as you came and convulsed in his mouth he
pulled you to his lap, the two of you on the floor, tiredly as you stared into his eyes, you
leaned in for a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips and wrapping yourself around him, wanting
him so close to you, your bodies tangled together, his scent on you. You broke the kiss and
cupped his cheek, staring into his eyes, as he helped you get your dress off, revealing your
naked form for him.
Javi's lips latched onto your nipples, one at a time, licking them and suckling on it, as your
hands ran through his hair, softly now, gentle even.
Javi was still completely silent, he hadn't dared say a word, but one simple command escaped
his lips.
"On all fours now, cariño" he whispered against your ear and watched as you got in position
for him, which you gladly did, spreading your legs wide for him. Your sex glistening with
your cum, all for him again.
Javi gave you one last lick, his tongue running through your slit, flicking your sensitive clit
and going to your asshole, circling it gently before he smacked your cheek with one hand.
The other unzipping his jeans and freeing his cock, pre cum glistened on his tip, as he was so
ready for you.
He didn't take long to get inside of you, getting his length as deep as he could and moving his
hips, fucking you as hard and fast as he wanted, on the floor, like the two animals you were.
When you finally got off the floor, Javi held you by the waist, taking you to bed, throwing his
body heavily against the mattress and pulling you for a kiss. Just as he predicted, his entire
body ached, but it was worth every second of it. He still hadn't explained or apologized, he
didn't know how to start. What was he supposed to say?
That he went nuts when Steve mistreated you? That the guilt he felt from his past actions
almost cost him his relationship with you because for a moment he really thought you'd be
better off without him and that he should leave you alone to live your life with someone who
actually was worth of your love? Or should he start by telling you about how he broke into
Judy Moncada's house and the only reason why he wasn't a dead body being dumped in some
shallow grave in the middle of woods was because she thought his attitude was actually
amusing?
No, he couldn't do that, he couldn't say those things. It would be just a mix of embarrassing
and stupid, but you read him like a book and you just knew he was avoiding talking to you.
"Javi… we need to talk" you said but he frowned as he looked at your knees and saw the
bruise forming on them from being on the floor while he railed you "shit, princesa, let me
take care of it…" he got up and went to the bathroom, returning some moments later with a
bottle of lotion you'd left there sometime shortly after you'd started dating and squirted
something onto his hand, sitting next to you and applying it to your knees, massaging them
gently along with your thighs.
"You do know we need to talk, Javier" you broke the silence though you could feel yourself
melting onto the couch at your boyfriend's ministrations on your skin. You had just had a real
tiring day, too many emotions all at once, and to finalize things, you had orgasmed hard,
more than once, so it was a fair assumption his little massage was making you less and less
willing to have a serious talk with him.
You knew it was his intention all along, but at that point, it felt like it didn't even matter. You
closed your eyes and relaxed but opened them again as your felt Javi's fingers on your clit,
circling it and making your legs twitch
"No amor, please… it's too sensitive now" you bit your lips and stared at him, who nodded
and kissed his way up your thighs, getting on your stomach and resting his head on it. Javier's
arms wrapped around your figure and snuggled there, falling into a comfortable silence. He
let his thoughts run freely and forget all about what happened earlier. He was taken back to
the warmth of the weather in Laredo, the green of the fields, the small city and the familiarity
of it. He liked picturing you there, always dressed beautiful in summer dresses, not so
different from Colombia after all, he liked imagining you running along with him, going to
the stables and petting the horses, because Javier was sure you would be the kind of girl who
would love to pet the horses, and he was also sure the horses would gladly let you pet them,
because you were impossible to resist, and that, he knew for a fact.
He sighed as his dreams were so sweet, he loved daydreaming about that, and when you
began playing with his hair, then he felt he had died and gone straight to heaven.
You loved to feel him nuzzling your womb, he looked like a lazy old cat sprawled all over
you, and it warmed your heart. It was something so simple, so domestic and once it seemed
so out of reach, when you thought you and Javier would never be able to have that, you even
thought you would never be able to be more than just a lay for Javier, but there you were.
You were with your man, in a sweet moment, late at night, giving him all the affection he
needed, he craved but he thought he didn't deserve it.
He was relaxed and kept his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn't asleep, so you thought it
was time to bring things up.
"Javi… we need to talk about tonight… I'm so sorry I acted that way, but I wasn't expecting
Steve being such a dick, and I know I told you many times I don't hold your past against you,
but I can't help being jealous of you, because you are attractive and handsome and even
hookers want you" you sighed "but I know you are mine just as I am yours, but it still makes
me jealous" you admitted as Javi opened his eyes and looked at you. He gave you a sad look,
and you knew what he meant. He couldn't erase his past, and he couldn't undo those things.
God knew he would have if he had the chance, but he was already thankful you loved him
without judgment.
Javi licked his lips softly and stroked your hand, as you continued
"And I got also very worried about you and what he said about Los Pepes, please Javi, be
careful, don't do anything stupid because if something happens to you I am sure I'm gonna
die"
He swallowed hard and got even closer, cupping your cheek and looking into your eyes. He
leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours, heart heavy in his chest at your words.
Javier Peña almost sacrificed himself so many times at work, but it wasn't just because he
cared about his job, about the people and the country he was currently living in. But it wasn't
just because of that, he was also lost, personally lost, he had nothing to actually live for,
nothing that held him back, but he was tired of it. He was tired of screwing things up, of
endangering himself like that, he wanted to be safe for once, because now he had something
good, he didn't want that life any longer and above all, he didn't want to make you suffer.
"Y/N I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to know that I ain't joking, I need an
answer, a real one" he said as he licked his lips once more and rubbed the back of his neck,
watching as you nodded, both on curiosity but also anxiety. You had no idea what he wanted.
"Will you marry me?" He asked and you felt your heart was bursting out of ribcage. You
couldn't even believe your ears and if he hadn't warned you he wasn't joking or if he wasn't
staring at you apprehensively, you would have been sure it was just a joke.
"What?" It was all you could whisper at him, tears slowly flooding your eyes, as the emotions
were getting more and more intense.
"Not right now, cariño and it doesn't have to be in Colombia, it can be when we get our
beautiful life in the ranch, and I get if you are afraid of answering me, I know you've had
your heart broken by someone you loved once and that you were left at the altar and fuck, I
also know I am a walking red flag but I need to know if we have a chance, I need to know if I
will have something to fight for, something to-"
You interrupted him by placing your lips against his, closing the distance between you two as
you cupped his cheek and deepened the kiss. You didn't need him to say anything else, it
wasn't even necessary and you didn't want him to fall into another round of self-deprecating
thoughts.
You broke the kiss, smiling as you stared into his eyes and nodded, feeling the happiness
overflowing you. Absolutely nothing else mattered in the world but you and Javier, who was
going to become of soon-to-be husband.
"Of course I'll marry you Javi"
 SIXTEEN
Chapter Summary

Not even all the domesticity with Javier in the world is capable to keep the two of you
together once his connection with Los Pepes is discovered

You made sure to wake up very early the next morning, your heart couldn't take the love you
were holding at that moment. Javier had asked you to marry him.
And you had said yes.
You still couldn't quite believe it, your head ached a little from the wine you drank the night
before, but it was way better than you expected, after all that went on as well, you thought
you'd be dead in the morning.
The amount of alcohol you had, the argument with Steve, then the situation with Javi
followed by his disappearance and the mind blowing sex you had together and finishing
things off with a marriage proposal. You were undoubtedly exhausted.
After he proposed to you and you said yes, you shared a passionate kiss. It was tender and
gentle, sweet and it spoke so many words about your relationship without having to use
words, and then Javi took you as his again, only this time he wasn't fucking you, he was
making love to you, because you weren't just any woman and you weren't only his girlfriend,
you were now officially his soon to be wife. A wife he wanted and craved because he wanted
to marry you, he wanted to build a life with you, and not because he felt pressured into doing
it, but because you were the one he wanted to share his life with.
Of course you weren't engaged yet, it wasn't official in the sense of having an engagement
ring or setting a date for the wedding, but it was official enough for the two of you. Javier's
mother's ring was in a box in the bottom of his wardrobe, but you didn't mind if he hadn't
handed it over to you, it was a beautiful memory he kept from his mom, you knew how
painful it was for both Javier and his dad when she passed and as much as a hard moment
like that could help them narrow their bond, it seemed it only split them apart further.
And after what happened in his first engagement, when Lorraine refused to return him the
ring and he almost lost it, you would perfectly understand if he got scared of giving it to
another woman.
But Javier had asked you to marry him and that was all that mattered to the two of you.
Javier had serious commitment issues and if he had overcome all of it, it was because he was
ready to tie the knot with you. You couldn't deny the pride you felt to know you were the one
who made Javier's heart beat faster, he didn't escape you like he escaped others, you weren't
just a fuck for him, you were going to be his wife, you were sure, because he would never ask
something like that just because, it had a meaning to it, you knew it.
You were going to marry Javier Peña. That spread a heat across your reddening cheek and it
made you giggle like a teenager, making you so distracted as you didn't even notice the
moment Javi got up and walked to you.
He didn't bother putting on clothes other than his jeans and walked to the kitchen after you, a
soft smirk on his lips as he remembered how you said yes to his proposal. He was a happy
man that morning, despite everything bad that was happening in his job and in the country.
Not even his fight with Steve bothered him, because all that mattered was that he was going
to be a married man and you would be his beautiful sweet wife.
Just his arms snaking around your body as he kissed your neck without warning and making
you squeal in surprise "distracted, cariño?" He raised his eyebrow at you and you chuckled
softly "a little yes… good morning mi amor" you replied immediately turning around and
watching his shirtless figure, one hand on his shoulder and another one on his waist. His
broad naked chest and his cute belly just there, exposed for your enjoyment. Javier was a
beautiful, handsome man, and as he was aware of his charm, you wondered if he knew how
handsome he really was.
He licked his lips softly and looked at you, feeling a little unnerving as you would barely
blink while looking at him and he felt… shy?
"What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked but you shook your head and chuckled
"No, I'm just admiring you because you are handsome"
Javi ran his hand through his hair and looked down, yes, he was definitely feeling shy. He
cleared his throat and looked at you "stop mariposa" he eyed over your shoulder and bit his
lips as he saw you were making breakfast. It wasn't his turn to make pancakes, instead, you
were making him eggs and bacon.
His mouth watered at the sight of it, he couldn't resist that breakfast, just like he often ate
when he was growing up at the ranch and he couldn't believe you were making that. He
smirked at you "practicing to be a wife?" He raised his eyebrow and tried stealing a bacon
bit, but you slapped his hand away.
"You can bet your cute ass, I am, Javier and my first action as a wife is sending you to
shower because after all we did last night, you are sticky with sweat" you said as your hand
ruffled his greasy hair.
Javi chuckled and shook his head "no seas tan mala conmigo" he mumbled and slapped your
ass, making you squirm before walking to the bathroom.
A shower later, Javi had also shaved and trimmed his mustache. He had great expectations
for that day. After all the shit he did the night before, Judy had promised him she would go
down to the embassy and would confess, ratting on all the other crime lords that brought so
much terror to the country.
It would be either that or she would go to the american press and rat on Javier instead. And
then, his career would be over if he got lucky. If he didn't, he would simply go to jail.
So he hoped really hard the only possible option would be to welcome Judy at the embassy.
He couldn't afford to have her tell the Miami Herald about the link to Los Pepes, it wouldn't
take the DEA long to connect the dots and figure out which long term agent she would be
talking about. As he dressed himself in his good suit - the one Steve often called Messina suit
- he thought of how things had to work out that day. It was the only option, he couldn't just
have that screwed up, his future depended on that, your future together depended on that. He
knew Pablo's situation was getting tight and it would be a matter of time to catch him. Peña
had thought of how ironic life really was. The biggest monster in Colombia had found his
ruin once he got separated from his family. It always baffled Javier how a man who could do
the cruelest things, could also be a loving husband and father. Of course it was common for
every agent to know about Pablo's escapades and his collection of mistresses, his own wife
probably knew about it and pretended she didn't, that was a part Javier didn't quite get, he
understood the appeal, the power Escobar had and how he could have any woman in the
country just because he was himself, and women wouldn't deny him, either for money or by
fear. But at the same time, he'd seen surveillance photos enough times to know his wife was a
beautiful woman, she'd given him two children, a family and he just couldn't understand how
Escobar could jeopardize that for a couple of hours of fun with someone else. Of course, she
probably didn't have much choice, she was married to him for life, and he would never let her
go. When you marry a narco, it is literally till death do us part.
Javi didn't approve that, he wasn't a cheater and despite what everyone thought of him, he
didn't just go and cheated on his girlfriend, of course most of his relationships didn't last long,
but the moment he ever got bored, he just broke things up, it was better than making them
suffer in the long run. The only he couldn't bring himself to do it was Lorraine, he was young
and stupid, clueless and thought he would be able to go through a marriage with her, and
when he was finally honest with himself and saw that no, he wouldn't be able to go through a
marriage with her, he left her at the altar.
It was a horrible thing, a real dick move and he regretted that every single day even if he had
already asked her for forgiveness so many times, he still felt bad about doing that to her. Even
more so when he learned you had been through the very same thing. He got nauseous to
know in a sense, he was the same as your ex-fiance was. It was something horrible to do, but
Javi still think it was better than putting Lorraine through a loveless marriage, she was a
good, decent girl, beautiful and she dreamed of a family, a family she got when she married
her current husband, a man who really appreciated her unlike Javi, and that turned out for the
best because she found someone she loved and years later, Javier found you.
He finished with his tie, groaning softly as it was early in the morning, he'd just left shower
and he was already starting to sweat. He hated wearing suits and above all, he hated wearing
them in Colombia.
But he would never hate the way you stared at him when he wore one. Ever since you arrived
in the country, when you two were nothing more than just friends, you couldn't keep your
eyes off him, he always thought it was amusing how you would look at him. And that was
exactly the look you gave him once you spotted him walking towards you.
You really thought that after you and Javier got together, he would stop having that effect on
you, but it turns out it hadn't ceased at all.
You were still mad for Javier, there was no way to fight it.
So you completely ignored the table you had made for him and wrapped your arms around
his neck, kissing his lips deeply, before going to his beautiful sharp jawline.
You giggled and chuckled as his hands went around your waist, gripping you and pulling you
closer to his body.
"So, are you dressed for our wedding?" Your raised your eyebrow and Javi nodded
"Yeah, and where's your wedding dress? Not that I'm complaining to marry you in my shirt
and panties, but I think the guests would be a little shocked" he laughed softly and you
slapped his chest playfully.
"Come on, I made you breakfast like a sweet little housewife, Peña, the least you can do is to
sit down and have it" you pouted and watched as he saw on the chair, immediately going for
his lap and getting comfortable.
You rested your head on top of Javi's feeling his soft hair on your chin and the scent of his
shampoo as he began eating. You were so happy you wish you could just take him away from
all the chaos and stress of DEA and hide away with him for a while. Maybe you two needed
vacation, or maybe you two needed to go on your honeymoon already.
Javi moaned as he tried your breakfast, he knew he was a shitty cook and you only liked his
pancakes because they were made by him, but your bacon and eggs were the best thing he ate
for breakfast in so long.
He used his fork with his right hand as his left hand rested absentmindedly on your thigh, still
tracing invisible lines on your skin with the tip of his fingers. You smiled at yourself, but Javi
sighed deeply, putting his silverware down and holding you by the waist, as he indicated for
you to sit on the chair next to him, he needed to look at you, into your eyes and be honest
with you.
Javi took your hand, caressing gently and took a deep breath.
"I need to tell you what happened last night…" he licked his lips softly and began his
account. He tried ignoring the worry and the fear in your eyes and didn't spare you any
details. Javi wanted to protect you from everything bad in the world but he knew he couldn't.
So as long as he could keep you physically okay, he decided he wouldn't hide any
information from you, he wouldn't keep secrets, if you were going to be his wife, then he
would be brutally honest with you.
So he told you all about that happened, about Judy, about her promise of going to the
embassy and how she would rat on Javi in the american press if things didn't work.
You shook your head, so many questions and comments nearly rolling down your tongue, but
you held yourself, you wanted Javier to tell you everything, you had the impression he was
venting, he was letting things out. For the first time he was honest about all the implications
that could happen to him and once Javier was done. You were at a loss of words, so the only
thing you thought of doing was kissing him.
It was the best way you could show him support and he understood it perfectly, kissing you
back, he accepted your offer. You both understood each other like no one ever would.
You washed the dishes as Javi apologized to you for not giving you a ride, but he would go
straight to the Embassy earlier than you would go to the office. You shook your head and
made sure to remind him not to worry about you at all, you would be fine, and you also told
him he would be fine, even if you weren't so sure, you had to be supportive, so you pecked
his lips and wished him good luck as he walked out the door.
•••
You were almost finishing getting dressed, as you put on your earrings and some lipstick
when someone knocked on your door. You thought it was odd as you didn't really get visitors
and neither did Javi, but you needed to check who it was, maybe it was just someone who
missed the right door or even the mailman, you had no idea, but you would definitely check
the peephole, as Javi had taught you and insisted you never opened the door to anyone you
didn't know, especially at his place. He had a deep, dark fear of you being caught in an
ambush meant for him. You shook those scary, depressing thoughts as you walked to the
door, taking a look at the peephole just like he'd told you many times. You sort of chuckled to
yourself: he would definitely be proud of you.
But you were in no mood to chuckle, as you saw Steve standing there. You groaned and the
annoyance of his presence was intense. You want to ignore him, pretend no one was at home
at the same time you wanted to open the door and let him know what you thought of him.
And it wouldn't be flattering, that was for sure.
"Come on Y/N, open the door. I need to talk to you right now. Please" he asked and rubbed
his forehead, sighing sadly "first of all, I want to apologize for being a dick, for offending
you but I want to talk to you about Javier" he added "it's important"
You thought of turning your back and finish getting dressed, but at the same time your
attention was caught by his words. If it was about Javier, it concerned you.
You sighed, taking a deep breath and opened the door, letting him in and looked at him
"What about Javi?"
"Y/N, I want to apologize for what I did to you last night, I was really bad to you, I shouldn't
have said those things, you were always nothing but nice and sweet to me, you've always
helped me and you are so nice to my wife and kids, I'm sorry if I ruined our friendship, but I
was mad at Javier. I was fucking out of my mind, and I drank too much and I wanted to hurt
him and I knew I would hurt him if I hurt you too" Steve sighed "I'm worried… I don't think
Judy will give in, she is probably in Miami now, and the moment her interview hits the street,
the DEA will be able to connect Javi with her accusations… he'll probably lose his badge,
and he'll go to jail…" he sighed "Javier is my friend too, he's the closest thing I have to a best
friend and I don't want to see that happening to him"
You nodded and bit your lips.
You didn't know what was going to happen, but you felt a killing anxiety in your heart and all
you wanted was to get to the end of the day and meet your handsome boyfriend.
You spent your hours at work unable to focus, no one could provide you any information in
order to calm you down a little. Colleen was a useless skank, all she did in that office was
gossip about everyone else and hit on Javier; Steve had gone to the Embassy too, though he
would be back as the tactical team was working on another ambush for Pablo.
Manu walked by your desk a few times, handing you papers here and there, but besides
addressing you in such a businesslike manner, he didn't give you the time of the day.
You were so anxious at some point you caught yourself with your fingers close to your
mouth, one step away from biting your nails. But you stopped yourself, thinking of how Javi
loved your well-painted nails. The sweet reminder brought a smile to your face and the sense
of calmness to your heart. Even if you knew it wasn't going to last, you were still thankful for
it. The hours dragged themselves and you felt every single minute you spent trapped in that
office was pure torture, you wanted to reach out for Javi and call him, even if it was only to
hear his voice, you wanted that purring voice calling you cariño or princesa, or any other pet
name that made your heart race. You even thought of going home earlier, but it wouldn't
work as Javier would always arrive later than you.
You then forced yourself to work, bury your head into a pile of papers, reading, analyzing,
correcting and redoing the process over and over. If you did that enough times, you promised
yourself you would feel a little better, by being distracted.
And it worked, it worked to the point you only realized you were the only one in your office
when you lifted your head up and looked around to see the other desks empty and the dark
outside the window, but that didn't stop you, you drowned yourself into more work, now not
wanting to face the possibilities and results of Javi's actions, you just couldn't lose him.
And you worked some more, only stopping when you smell the cigarette smoke and some
steps walking to your table.
He'd lost his suit jacket somewhere, his tie was loosened and he didn't look you in the eyes.
"Cariño… I-I'm going to Washington"
•••
The two days that passed were nothing much than a blur to you, that bitch known as Judy
Moncada had escaped to Miami and given her her interview. It didn't take a genius to figure
out which long term DEA agent she was talking about, so the Board Of Professional Conduct
wanted to see him immediately. You tried to be your best to your boyfriend, the two of you
knew things wouldn't be easy from that moment on and you didn't want to show him you
were gutted, even though you were. You just didn't want to add more guilt to him, he was
already going through a bad enough situation, Steve was now really close to catching
Escobar and after giving years of his life in order to chase him down, he was about to miss it.
He was just facing a nerve-wracking situation, Javi couldn't even sleep for the past couple of
nights, he would smoke one cigarette after another and no matter what you told him, he was
distant.
You didn't know if he wanted to push you away or if he was just doing it unconsciously, it
broke your heart to think of the little time you had to spend with him would be so impersonal.
You wanted to cry, to scream at him, at the same time you also understood the turmoil of
feelings he went through.
You even went to Messina's office to beg her for the position she'd previously offered you in
the US, so it would be a lot easier for you to be with Javi if you stayed in the same country,
even if he left the DEA.
The night before his trip, Javi pulled you to his body, he looked you into your eyes and asked
you for forgiveness, for every single thing he had ever done to you, from the time you were
just friends, to when you guys simply became nemesis, and then when you finally admitted
your love for each other. Javi made you promise him you would call and write to him, and he
would do the same. He also made you promise that one day you'd marry him.
So he got on his knees and opened a small ring box, offering you his mother's ring as your
engagement ring.
You'd said yes and kissed him deeply, not getting enough of him even when he was buried
deep inside of you. You two had made love that night, but nothing ripped your heart apart
than taking him to the airport.
The way he gripped your body and didn't want to let go even when the passengers of his
flight were being called and he shot you his puppy eyes one last time before boarding on the
plane and leaving you.
You were still stronger than you thought you would be, breaking down only when you got to
his apartment, seeing how empty it was now that Javier was gone.
 SEVENTEEN
Chapter Summary

Things go a lot better than Javier had predicted in Washington, but it's time to leave
Colombia behind and go home, at the same time you can't leave Colombia, which makes
you take a risky decision

"¡Por fin, cayó!"

Javier's heart sank when he heard these words through the TV. It was his fourth or fifth
scotch, he had already lost track of it, as there was nothing else to do in that place other than
get drunk and worry about what the future held for him. His meeting with the board would be
in two days, and Javi had received no other instruction besides a warning not to leave town.
He didn't know if he would have to get himself a lawyer, maybe he should have already done
it, the interview with Judy Moncada hit like a bomb and the media was pressing the
American government which pressed the DEA and it became a vicious circle. It actually
came in handy as the investigations around Escobar's location tightened and as far as Javi had
heard, they were very close to catching him. He looked around the shady bar he was in and
saw a few beautiful women having their drinks. If it were at any other moment of his life, he
would approach some of them with his charm and woo them to bed.
But that was before you.
Now, even if he tried picking up a girl on purpose, he wouldn't be able to do it, you had put
him under a spell, you were the only one who crossed his mind at all times of the day, your
face was the last thing he saw before falling asleep and the first thing to appear when he
woke up. His heart raced to think of you, the moments you two spent together, the way you'd
smile at him, kiss his lips, how your laughter was his favorite sound in the world - second
favorite, as the first one had to be your moans - and the way your face lit up when he
proposed to you, how you'd said yes without even thinking and when he officially got on his
knees and gave you the ring, you teared up and said yes once again, because that would
always be your answer to him.
He also deeply missed your body, he had memorized your curves, your freckles and your
weak spots. Night after night he fucked his own fist thinking of you, it wasn't enough, it
didn't compare to actually having you there, it offered him such a bittersweet relief because
once the bliss of his orgasm faded, he turned to an empty spot in his bed. It lacked your
warmth, your smell, your body. He missed holding you, he missed how you'd run your
fingers through his hair, how you'd sit on his lap to have breakfast. Even if he wrote to you,
called you, heard your voice, it wasn't the same. He could spend hours on the phone talking
to you, and it wouldn't be enough, as soon as you hung up the emptiness he felt returned at
full intensity.
Javier had never felt like that for any woman, but he felt that for you, he was sure he was
under your spell, but he never wanted to break free from it.
However, at that moment Javier's heart was broken; he couldn't believe that after so many
years of dedication and hard work he'd missed the capture and killing of the most wanted
man in the world. After so much he'd given to the government and to Colombia, he had been
forced to watch it from afar, as his entire career was going to be decided by a bunch of suited
men who never raised their asses of their comfortable cushioned chairs and taken a look at
what the real world of drugs was like.
Javi finished his liquor and paid for it, placing his jacket back on and heading towards the
end. He wanted to call you, he wanted to hear your voice and make sure you were alright.
That night was just one of those nights where the pang in his chest was too intense, he missed
you to the point it felt like his skin burned. Truth to be told, he didn't want to call you over
the phone, he wanted to have you there, with him, sharing a bed, sleeping together, kissing
and fucking. He craved your presence and your body, but for that moment, a telephone call
would be the closest he would get from you. However, he would call you from his hotel
room, he wanted privacy to talk to you, he needed the comfort of a bed, a pillow under his
head so he could pretend things were okay again. Where he'd close his eyes while you spoke
with your sweet, gentle voice and he could pretend you were just a room away from him,
taking long in the bathroom for instance, before you would appear wearing nothing but his
shirt just for him.
At that moment, there was another call Javier had to make, so he searched his pickets to find
some coins he could use in the phone booth. He needed to get a hold of Steve in order to
know everything about Pablo's death. He'd seen it through the tv but it was obvious it wasn't
the same as witnessing history writing itself. You could offer him some juicy details in a few
weeks, once you worked on your reports to send it over to the government, then you'd be
organizing your own report, based on the cops' reports and accounts who took part in the
mission, just as the necropsy reports too.
All in all, you would have a ton shit of work and you would have to compile probably
thousands of pages, to the point Messina would probably have to send over a team of people
to help you. Peña knew how stressed you were, about the whole Pablo Escobar and about his
own situation as well. He hated that he caused you to stress over what was probably going to
happen to him, and if he could, he would abduct you from that chaotic life and take you to his
ranch, so you two could get married and live your life in peace. He got lost in his thoughts
that were all about you and nearly forgot what he was doing when Steve's voice was heard on
the other side of the line.
After Javi had the confirmation he would have to go to Washington, he'd had a conversation
with Steve and the two of them apologized to each other and went back to being friends,
under the condition imposed by Javier: Murphy would have to take care of you while Javi
was gone.
He skipped the usual greetings and went straight for the account of what happened the day
they caught Escobar, not sparing any details; he told Javier everything that happened that day
until they took the infamous photograph of Escobar's dead body.
The burning feeling of jealousy and envy took over Javi's body even if he fought them as
hard as he could, he couldn't believe himself when he felt that, he should be happy, his friend
managed to catch Colombia's boogeyman and they probably made things a little bit better to
the world, and yet there he was, standing inside of a phone booth sulking like a teenage girl
because he couldn't be a part of it. It was pathetic and he felt ridiculous, but he also felt he
deserved to be there, he'd given so much of himself to that, and he deserved to have shot
Escobar at least once.
"So, how's Y/N doing?" Javi asked after Steve finished narrating his part of the story, after
all, you were still the most important thing that lingered on his mind the entire time, he heard
Steve's sigh and felt his heart clench.
"You know… she's doing alright, she's strong, she's been working a lot, Connie talks to her
everyday and well, she misses you and she's worried, but she knows the two of you need to
be patient" he told his friend "and for her sake, I also hope you are keeping your dick in your
pants, Javi"
Javier laughed as he could hear the smirk in his friend's voice and ran his thumb over his
eyebrow "fuck you Murphy" he said before hanging up.
Javi lit up a cigarette - because he avoided smoking them around you, as he didn't want you
to breathe his smoke, but now he was away from you he felt miserable and he figured he
deserved at least a puff - and walked back to his hotel.
He was gonna lie in his bed, call you and give zero fucks about how expensive long-distance
calls were and pretend he didn't hear your voice breaking while you tried to hold your tears at
the same time you pretended you didn't cry whenever you talked about him and the
uncertainty of your future together.
•••

Javier licked his lips as he tensely walked through the hallway. He didn't know what was
going to happen to him, but he knew it wasn't good. Just two days before, he had called Steve
wanting to know everything about Pablo Escobar's death. It'd been a few days since the task
force formed by the DEA, CIA and the Colombian police managed to take down the most
wanted man in the world.
Even if Javier still felt bitter about it, he was also relieved to see each time he grabbed a
newspaper or he tuned into the news channel, the DEA scandal about a long term agent
associating with a death squad was replaced by the joy and glory of the US government of
having ended the kingdom of terror of Escobar. As he placed his fingers between his tie and
his neck, pulling them a little in order to create some space and subdue the feeling of being
suffocated, that's all he tried keeping in mind as nervousness flooded through him. He was
about to have his life decided, he could be fired, go to jail, go back as if nothing had
happened, and the fact he had absolutely no clue which turn his life would take was nerve-
wracking.
He was told to get inside the conference room by a very rude secretary and rolled his eyes.
She had no idea who she was talking to, he was Javier Peña, former charmer of secretaries. If
he hadn't been tamed by a gorgeous girl back in Colombia he would make sure to lean
towards her desk and work his charms on her until she was giggling and blushing only to
invite her for a few drinks and after fucking her, leave her in bed. Javier was a gentleman and
he didn't think doing that to women was alright, but under those circumstances he figured an
entitled bitch like that deserved it. He chuckled to himself at the realization you were the only
one he would love to invite for some drinks, take to bed but instead of leaving in the
morning, he'd make sure to hold you tight the whole night, so he'd wake up with you. It ached
to think of the distance between the two of you, so he just sat down and gulped, tense to
know what was going to happen.
He nervously tapped his fingers on the table as a group of suited men walked into the room
and took the chairs in front of him.
With no introductions or whatsoever, one of the men grabbed a file and read out loud the
report about Pablo Escobar's death. It highlighted all the positive enforcement the american
government received and how positive it was for their image, Javier breathed heavily and
shifted uncomfortably on his seat, staring at the man and having absolutely no clue why he
was blabbering about that at all.
"Do I need a lawyer?" He asked and saw as the other members of the board laughed softly.
"Agent Peña, a lawyer is not required for the occasion. You see, morale was hanging low
once Miami Herald published that controversial interview, causing us a series of
inconveniences, hence why you've been called here. However, as your team managed to catch
Escobar, things changed, and we are all willing to forget about your… incident, let's put it
that way, with Los Pepes" anyone could see the relief in Javier, as his shoulders immediately
relaxed and the tension slowly floated away, he knew it was too soon to celebrate but thing
we're going way better than he anticipated.
"Still… after a long conversation with our Ambassador in Colombia, we came to the
conclusion you need to take some time off from the dangers of your job, so you are going to
be permanently removed from the DEA.."
"Am I being forced to retire or are you trying to kick me out?" Javi asked confused and
slightly angry, he didn't like the insinuations they were making. What were they thinking?
That he wasn't good enough for his job anymore or that he was getting too old?
"Excuse me, agent Peña…" another member of the board interrupted and glanced at his
colleague and then back at him "you shouldn't see this as retirement, it is just a paid leave, a
privilege really, and it has the duration of a year, after that you can choose if you'd like to go
back to the field, or if you'd prefer to get a desk job, and if you take a liking on the easy life
you can officially retire. Don't make a fuss out of it, agent… It is already much better than
what would happen if Escobar hadn't been caught. You could be heading to jail instead of
getting permanent paid vacation… it's just a small thank you as we all know that off the
record, your association with that group was what really enabled our men to catch Escobar"
Before Javier could say anything about it, the men got up and exited the room, leaving him
there dumbfounded and too shocked to say the least.
•••
"So technically you are on paid vacation for a whole year?" You asked as you held the phone
against your ear and took off your shoes, getting comfortable in bed and watching your
reflection in the mirror as you lay comfortably against the mattress. You had been staying in
Javi's apartment ever since he had to leave; it just felt like the most logical decision as your
own place never really felt like home and by staying at Javi's you felt somewhat closer to
him.
"Yeah, that's what it seems like, I still don't know if they'll take my badge and gun, but I
guess I won't be using them very much… but enough talking about that, it's good enough I'm
not going to jail" he smiled sadly as he tried picturing you on the other side of the line, his
body aching for yours at the same time you felt emotional, Javi had already told you
everything that happened with details at least twice and you still asked questions just to
double check it, even if it was an annoying habit you couldn't help but do it again and again
just to make sure it was real and not just a sweet dream, your spent weeks fearing having
your fiance taken to jail and now you were so relieved to know he would get paid to stay
home. Of course Javier's pride was probably hurt and he felt bad about being removed from
the job he dedicated himself to for the past years of his life, but after everything that went on
with the hunt of Escobar and Judy Moncada's interview you were more than thankful he was
actually being paid not to work. Not only that, but you knew it would do Javi good to be able
to step away from the stress, the rush, the violence and the constant danger. You weren't an
agent and you didn't work in the field and you felt you were often emotionally exhausted, so
you couldn't even imagine how tired Javi must've felt.
"And I'm guessing you can't come back to Colombia… So are you going home?"
"Yeah, the board strongly advised me to avoid Colombia for now, and well, I'm going to
Laredo, gonna see pa, check the things on the ranch… and I was hoping you could come?
Maybe meet me there?" He suggested and your heart clenched, as you could picture perfectly
the puppy look in his eyes as he asked you. You wanted to say yes, you wanted to scream yes
to him, you wanted to tell him you would pack your things and fly in the first flight to Texas
you could find and then later Steve and Connie could ship the rest of your things.
You wanted to tell him to wait for you at night because you would wear his favorite lingerie
and that you could even get married if he wanted to, but instead, you sighed sadly as you felt
your eyes watering and you tried your best so your voice wouldn't break and it wouldn't make
Javi feel worse than he did before.
"I-I can't. I really want to, I can't wait Javi, sometimes I even dream of being in Laredo with
you, even if I haven't been there, but I dream of us, of the family we'll build… but Messina
told me it will take us from three to six months to finish the Escobar case paperwork" you
said sadly knowing your heart would shatter if you heard the disappointment in his voice.
"It's alright" he said and there it was, the disappointment in his voice. He wasn't sad or angry
with you, of course, but it felt like everything and everyone was against the two of you. For
once, there was nothing Javier wanted more than to settle down with you and yet, it seemed
everyone betted against it. "We will figure something else… I just miss you, cariño and I
wish I could be there with you… or even better, I wish you could be here with me" he licked
his lips and told you about how he had booked a flight for the next day so he could go back to
his hometown and you smiled, trying to entertain yourself and not think of how unfair it was
that you and Javi were kept apart like that. You sighed sadly but then you had an idea that
could cheer the two of you up, you bit your lips, giggling softly.
"Javi?" You purred onto the phone knowing it certainly would draw his attention "what are
you wearing?" You chuckled
"What?" He asked confused at first but getting what you meant almost instantly "what are
you trying to do, princesa? ¿Quieres portarte como una puta?"
"Si Javi, siempre para tí" you replied chuckling "well, if you are gonna take too long, then I'll
start… I'm wearing your shit, that blue one, you know? I got off shower a while ago and I just
put the shirt on… with nothing underneath it"
"Fuck cariño, you are such a tease… you are trying to get into my pants, princesa?" He loved
how you chuckled, he could picture your beautiful face, your body and the expectation of his
touch.
"You haven't answered me yet, Peña" he could even picture your small frown as you called
him by his last name. Javi laughed softly
"Well, I am wearing my jeans and that's all… why? What do you want now, Y/N?"
"Um… I like that Javi… you're holding the phone with your left hand, aren't you? Well, then
where is your right hand placed?" Javier stroked his eyebrow with the tip of his thumb as he
heard your voice
"It's on my forehead, why?"
"Because I want you to run your hand down your chest, Javi… down your stomach too, and
get to your zipper, just as if it was my hand instead of yours, get it?"
Javi felt a spike of lust at your words. You often didn't give him orders, it was usually Javi
who took the lead, but for some reason that side of you pleased him, and he gladly obeyed,
getting to his zipper and gently tugging the button of his jeans.
"Done cariño… it doesn't compare to your hand, the real deal is way better, but I'm willing to
know what else you want"
"Go ahead Javi, mi amor, open your fly… free your cock, I miss it so much" you said "I miss
it how big and thick you are Javi, how you would stretch me real good, I miss you cumming
inside of me, your hot cum deep inside my womb, how I would convulse and milk you dry, I
miss you, te extraño tanto, amor" you whispered "are you hard, Javi?" you earned a grunt as a
response "of course you are, you're always hard for me, aren't you Javi? I fucking love it"
"Always hard for you, baby, you're the only one who owns this cock" Javi's submission
warmed your core and it made your pussy clench at the thought of him.
"Good Javi, me encanta saber eso" you purred, as he loved when you spoke Spanish to him
"now, I want you to rub your thumb over your tip, okay? I bet it's already wet with your pre
cum, isn't it?"
"Sí, mi amor" he purred back at you and did as you told him, groaning in pleasure as his tip
was so sensitive.
"Good Javi… now I want you to wrap your hand around your cock and rub yourself up and
down okay? Can you touch yourself for me, Javi?" He whispered a small yes as he wrapped
his hand around himself and fucked his fist for you. He thought of you, your lips, your cunt,
your ass, all of it for him, all the times you brought him pleasure and couldn't hold back any
longer, he came, making a mess on his hand, his stomach and a little bit on his sheet.
You were so glad to have made him feel good and you two ended the call by exchanging love
words. Despite the distance, nothing had changed and you two were going strong, because
your love was strong.
•••
Another week had passed and things hadn't changed much for you. For Javi, on the other
hand, things had changed a lot. He'd returned to Laredo and made sure to tell you every
single part of his adventure, because it was an adventure to him. After being away from home
for so many years, he came back as some kind of bizarre local superstar. Everyone he knew -
and people he didn't know - stopped him to congratulate him on the services for the country,
at the same time old girlfriends stared, glanced, frowned, whispered about him and some
even threw their charms.
But your absolutely favorite situation that embarrassed Javier Peña to death: whenever an
older woman came over to him and tried setting him up with a daughter, a niece or any other
girl he had absolutely no intention of meeting. You always burst out laughing when Javi told
you about these occasions, enjoying your amusement at how embarrassing those situations
were for him. You would give anything to be there with him, to see how warm people from
Laredo were when they saw your boyfriend and it made you proud to see he got the
acknowledgement he deserved after working so hard.
You were happy Javi was enjoying his time, apparently his relationship with his dad had
improved some, he got to take care of his horses and you couldn't hold back your hormones
at the mere thought of Javier as a cowboy. You could bet he looked every bit sexy like that
and you often daydreamed about it.
Because daydreaming about Javier was the only thing that made you happy, your job was a
real torture, if you weren't happy before while you still had Javi by your side, now there
wasn't even what to say about it. And when you got home it was worse, because you were
welcomed by loneliness. And then in the morning, you would wake up and start it all over
again.
Even when you got dressed, you didn't find joy in anything as everything reminded you of
Javi. The clothes you picked, the nail polish you wore, your engagement ring. It was a sweet
reminder of your Javi, but also a bitter reminder he was home.
You went to the office feeling bad like you usually did, you just had no will to do anything
else, and you often wondered what the fuck you were still doing there.
You were sat at your desk, stress already cooking up your brain as you could feel your
headache forming, when someone stood next to you, but you were too distracted to notice.
"Y/N?" You raised your head, shocked to hear that voice addressing you after so long
"Manu?" You said looking at the man, who's smiled at you just like he did when you first met
"c-can I help you with anything? I haven't finished the reports yet, but I can assist you"
Manu shook his head and pulled a chair, sitting close to you and taking your hand, watching
your engagement ring "I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to talk about you and Javier…
listen, I know shit went down between us and there was a time not too long ago I wanted to
kill him and probably you too for hurting me" he sighed "but the anger I felt faded… and
well, rumor has it Javier Peña proposed to you and judging by the size of this gem, I can tell
Colleen was spreading the true story" Manu laughed at the sight of you gritting your teeth to
hear about Colleen.
"But Javier isn't here anymore and I can see that you're sadder and sadder, and I don't like
seeing you like that, Y/N… I know I shouldn't even care about you anymore, but I still do,
and I know your heart belongs to someone else, but I also hate to see your light fading, you
aren't happy here, and I also know you've been wanting to quit for a while…" for once this
part of the gossip came from Steve, not Colleen, and you really didn't get why Murphy could
be such a gossip girl sometimes "so, I just want you to know that I think you should do it,
you should quit, hop on a plane and go after your happiness, because that's what I would
do… of course I would like your happiness to be here with me, but I know it's Javier… it has
always been him and there's no way I can compete with that" Manu offered you a sad smile
and knew it was probably the last time he was seeing you, as he was sure you wouldn't be
away from Javier for too long.
You felt so touched by Manu's attitude, you didn't expect that from him at all, among all the
people, he was the one who had all the reasons in the world to hate you and be glad to see
you that upset, and yet, he offered you nothing but kindness to the point it made you feel
ashamed and guilty for being such a shitty girlfriend to him, he definitely deserved it better,
but as he had said himself, you couldn't be the one to give it to him. Once again you
apologized to him for all the heartache you caused, knowing it would probably not gonna be
enough, but it made your heart soothed if he knew you at least meant those words.
You leaned in and hugged him, wishing him well because you also had the feeling that would
be the last time you'd see him.
The rest of the day wasn't much more than a blur to you: you ran late to your meeting at the
embassy because of the chaotic traffic and Messina wasn't pleased about it. She'd been acting
like a major bitch, which was odd as most represent of the government were nothing but
smiles ever since Escobar was dead, and yet, she acted towards everybody like she could
scold them like a fifth grade teacher over absolutely anything. It angered you and it was also
one of the no Peña related reasons why you were so unmotivated about your job, and the fact
that Manu's words wouldn't leave your mind and you couldn't quite focus on anything other
than staring down at your engagement ring and fantasize about leaving everything behind
didn't make things anything easy.
"I'm sorry Y/N… did I say something funny?" Messina raised her eyebrow as she angrily
addressed to you, snapping you out of your fantasies and making everyone in the room stare
"What?" You replied to her, having no clue what she was actually talking about.
"I wanted to know if you thought I had said something funny while we were revisiting the
case because while everybody focused on the reports you were just smiling at yourself, it
seems you don't care about your job"
You stared at her for a while as you didn't say anything, letting her words sink and looking
around the room, watching as the other people looked at you, everybody looking stressed and
miserable while sweating uncomfortably because of the heat and you realized you didn't
actually have to put up with that because you didn't actually care about that job and most
importantly because you were just a flight away from being happy.
"You're right, I don't care about this job at all, I don't care what page of the report you guys
are, I don't care if there's a typo or if you didn't like the final result, in fact, I would like to
quit and never come back here" he said throwing your papers onto her desk and walking out
the room, feeling the sweet taste of freedom.
The rest of the day went a lot smooth than you thought. You just went back home, packed all
your essentials in one big bag and then knocked on Steve's and Connie's door, to let them
know you were flying to Texas. They were shocked at first and even thought you were
joking, but when they realized you were dead serious, they made sure to assure you they'd
take care of your stuff and send them over to you whenever you or Javi needed. Connie
hugged you tight and made you promise you would visit, and you just giggled and told her
they were already invited to the wedding.
The couple drove you to the airport and after giving you their goodbyes, you boarded on the
plane, so happy to know in just a few hours you'd see Javi.
You flew overnight and got to Laredo in the morning, so excited to see Javi. It had been a
surprise and if you had told Steve he shouldn't tell Javi where you were going, you didn't
want to spoil things.
When you first got to Laredo, you realized you didn't know where Javi's ranch was but you
were so exhausted you couldn't even think straight. You realized you needed to sleep through
your jetlag and calm down from all the emotional rollercoaster you went through. Not to
mention the physical part that made your entire body sore.
You found a small motel just a couple of blocks from the airport and decided to book a room
for the day, - because you didn't plan to sleep there through the night - but much to your
horror, the moment you placed your head against the pillow you simply passed out and only
woke up in the evening.
You were so disoriented you had forgotten for a split second where you were, but you jumped
off the bed and went to the bathroom, showering and getting rid of all the sweat and tiredness
and changing into one of Javi's favorite summer dresses.
Then, you went to the reception and asked where the Peña ranch was, to which the young
woman smiled and explained you the location.
"Forgive me, but I don't think Don Chucho and Javier are there now, tonight's Danny's
wedding and pretty much the whole Laredo is gonna be there… I'm going there now myself
as my shift has just ended" you nodded at her and remembered that Javi had indeed
mentioned something about a wedding that week "but if you'd like, you could come with me?
I'll give you a ride"
•••
Javi had just talked to Lorraine and apologized to her again. It had been just a habit he got
into over the past decade as guilt still consumed him every time he saw her. It didn't matter
how many times she assured him she had forgiven her, he still felt guilty.
He felt guilty because he knew you went through a very similar situation and he could kill the
guy who made you go throught that, because he couldn't even imagine someone hurting you
like that.
When Lorraine talked about her family, Javi couldn't help but imagine his own, the one he
would have with you in the future. He sighed as he got distracted from thinking of a beautiful
little girl that looked like you as you had another bread in the oven and wore a golden ring
around your finger and went back to his seat. Javi was good to go, but his dad was still eating
and he didn't want to rush him.
He distractedly scanned the room and didn't notice when you came from behind, approaching
him quietly and placing your delicate hands on his shoulders
"Would you like to dance, Javi?" You asked him, as he turned around feeling slightly
mortified watching you stand there, just like he dreamed of for the last couple of weeks.
 EIGHTEEN
Chapter Summary

You're finally in Laredo, ready to start your life beside Javi and the two of you couldn't
be happier together

At first Javier didn't want to go to Danny's and whatever was her name's wedding, but his
father had insisted, saying it was a good opportunity for Javier to see the people from Laredo
- as if he hadn't been seeing them for the past weeks, hence all the congratulations he was
getting from them, as well as the usual gossip spreading around town that Javier Peña was
back. Chucho then grunted and told his son it was a good opportunity for him to unwind,
socialize a little, dance and relax, as he'd been tense since his arrival. And then it was time for
Javier to scoff and roll his eyes, as if he was actually going to dance at that place.
"Well, why don't you go and meet a girl then? This is something that you used to like…"
Chucho suggested him, getting annoyed at his son's attitude and not understanding why he
still behaved like a naughty little boy even after becoming a grown man.
Javi laughed this time and shook his head, which caught his dad's worried attention at his
refusal, because Javier never refused women and if he had just done it, it was concerning.
"¿Qué pasa mijito?" He frowned and Javier just knew he would have to give him an answer,
however, he didn't know why he felt so anxious at a simple thing such as telling his pa he had
a girlfriend. No, not just a girlfriend, a fiancee. Still, it wouldn't be the first time he broke the
news to Chucho but unlike the first time, now he knew his dad had the right to second guess
him.
Javi's tongue ran around his lips and he sighed, pacing the kitchen softly and shook his head
"there's someone I met… a woman, we met in Colombia and I fell hard for her" and his dad
just took a deep breath. He had seen that movie once and wasn't pleased to know it would
repeat itself, at the same time it also puzzled him, because his son wasn't one to admit his
feelings, not even when he nearly married Lorraine, of course he'd say she was pretty and
things like that, but he never once admitted to love someone.
"What?" He asked and sat down at the table, as Javi lit up another cigarette and proceeded to
tell his father all about you. How you two met, how hard he tried to fight your love and then
you two pretended to hate each other's guts until you couldn't hold back anymore. You were
too in love to resist and the need of being together grew stronger and stronger until Javier
proposed to you.
Chucho then choked on his coffee, looking at his son with big wide eyes "you did what? With
your mother's ring? Are you out of your fucking mind, pendejo?" He raised his voice at his
son, who pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, knowing his dad would have that
reaction, and worse: he had the right to. He had lost the ring once because Lorraine was petty
and knew how much that ring meant to Javier and his dad, and then Chucho had to interfere
and ask Lorraine's father for the ring back, in one of the most embarrassing and humiliating
situations of his life, so he was not pleased at all to learn Javier had handed the ring to
another woman - one he hadn't met but was sure his son would break her heart just like he did
with every other girl he'd been with. Javier knew how little faith his dad had in him, and even
if a part of him still took it hard and felt offended, another part of him just couldn't blame his
father at all, there were things Javi couldn't simply fight and his evil ways towards women
were one of them. Used to be one of them, because ever since you came into his life, you
taught him how decent he could be, and he liked this version of him, where he could dream
about being a good husband and father without worrying every five seconds about screwing
things up and ruining his relationship.
"Dad… it's not like that, I promise you… Y/N is the real deal. I love her, like I hadn't loved
anyone in my entire life. She's the one for me and she was also the person who loved me and
accepted me besides my flaws. I've always wanted something like you and mom had and I
thought it wouldn't happen to me… But it did and that's why I gave her the ring, because she
deserves it. We'll get married as soon as she is able to leave Colombia, so far she's trapped in
the Escobar paperwork but we'll be together, she'll live here and maybe in a couple of years
you will be sitting on the same spot ranting with your grandkids instead of ranting with me"
Chucho laughed softly, that sounded too good to be true. Even if he wanted that all to be real,
he still had his doubts. Yet, seeing Javier as happy as he seemed at that moment, was worthy
and he decided to play along not wanting to disappoint him at all. He nodded as he rubbed his
hand over his chin and looked at him "if you say so, son, I'll make sure this girl feels at home
with us, if she'll be your wife she will also be like a daughter to me. But I ask you one thing
in exchange of that"
"What is it pa?"
"You come to Danny's wedding with me!"
So when Javi got to the wedding, after sitting through a really boring ceremony in a packed
church in a temperature almost as high as Colombia, he couldn't help but keep daydreaming
of you. He would like to have you by his side, for you to be his date, wearing one of your
beautiful dresses and holding his hand among all those people, but at the same time he also
liked to picture himself up there, at the altar, waiting for you. He was sure you would be the
most beautiful bride in the world, but he also felt anxious to think of it, knowing what you
went through in your last attempt and what he did in his last attempt, he didn't know exactly
how you two would make that part work, he was dying to see you in a wedding dress, so not
having a ceremony would was definitely off the table. He would have to talk to you about it,
maybe in your next call. He felt guilty to know he wouldn't be able to call you that night,
even if he had told you he would be at a wedding with his pa, he still felt sad about not being
able to talk to you. Little did Javier know you were literally on your way to see him.
You on the other hand, would be completely mortified to be crashing at someone else's
wedding at any other occasion. The idea of attending an event so meaningful like a wedding
as an uninvited guest was enough to make your skin crawl, but at that moment you couldn't
care at all. You had quit your job, left the life you've known for the past year behind just to be
with the man you loved. Some people might have said it was a mistake, that leaving your job
and the prospect of building your career over a man was just crazy, but what these people
didn't understand is that it wasn't just any man. It was Javier Peña and they wouldn't
understand it at all, because he was yours and only yours.
The girl from the motel - Camila, as you learned in the car, asked you why you were in such a
hurry to find them, and couldn't help but laugh softly when you told her the sweet truth: you
were engaged to Javier. She felt embarrassed as you frowned at her and she cleared her throat
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, it was disrespectful. It's just that Javier has quite the
reputation and nobody in town expected him to be engaged" and at your words you were the
one who couldn't help but laugh
"You think I don't know about his reputation? Honey, I've witnessed his reputation being built
with my own eyes… but the problem is that Javier is too much of a sexy motherfucker and
before I could help myself, I was madly in love with him and the best part is that he's just as
in love with me, believe it or not'' Camila smiled at your words and nodded "well, I have only
seen him from afar, all I know it's the gossip about him, but he looks good, his father is a very
kind man, a little rough on Javier, after what happened with his… you know… former bride"
she said blushing a little and you nodded, showing her you knew the whole story.
Once you two arrived, Camila wished you luck and went to hang out with her friends. You
swallowed as you looked around, the party was going strong, a lot of people were wearing
their best clothes, dancing, eating and cheering. You felt an excitement inside of you,
knowing seeing your man was just a matter of locating him in the crowd and you couldn't
help yourself but giggle at how appropriate your recounter would be at a wedding.
You walked among people, being careful so you wouldn't bump into the people who were
dancing and having their fun. You liked the energy of that place, people were so warm and
even if they didn't know you, they still greeted you as you passed by.
And then you finally spotted him.
Your heart drummed in your chest and relief flooded your body at the sight of Javier standing
a few meters away from you. He had his arms crossed and he talked to a blonde woman you
already knew, recognizing her from the time you went snooping through his apartment and
found pictures of Javi and his old group of friends. It was Lorraine. She looked better in
person, you had to admit that and there was a time your heart would burn with jealousy at
that sight, but not now, as you were so sure of Javi's feelings for you. Besides, you just knew
he was apologizing to her, he always did that out of guilt and it soothed your heart, because it
showed Javier had become a better person, it showed he would never do that again, break a
heart like he did before. Javi finished his conversation as soon as the man you pressured to be
Lorraine's husband showed up with a couple for children - probably their kids - and he went
back to his seat.
Next you know, you walked to him, placed your hands on his shoulder and asked him to
dance.
Javi was so distracted that among all the people there he thought he had smelled your
perfume and he shook his head softly, wanting to get rid of that painful impression, knowing
you were miles away from him and also slightly worried he was growing a little obsessed
with you, but he couldn't help himself, he was so drunk in love he didn't know how to act
otherwise.
He leaned his face on his hand, watching as the party went on and hoping he could get home
already when he felt hands on his shoulders and tensed up, he didn't usually like
unannounced physical touch like that and frowned, ready to turn around and face whoever
was touching him with no permission he heard your voice.
"Would you like to dance, Javi?"
It was a trick, it had to be a trick. Maybe he'd drunk too much, he was in too deep with you
and he was starting hearing things, but then, he felt the presence leaning towards him and
pecking his cheek gently, your lips on his skin as your arms wrapped around his neck and you
giggled
"Te extrañé tanto mi amor" you whispered into his ear and let go of him, giving him space to
get up and face you.
When he finally did it, you couldn't help but chuckle, smiling wide as your Javi took all of
you. He could barely believe as he took a step forward and placed his big hands on your hips
"Y/N…" he whispered still a little shocked to see you there but couldn't contain his happiness
the moment he felt your hot skin under the thin cloth of your dress, seeing you were real, and
you were there for him.
You nodded and took both hands to his face, cupping his cheeks gently, as you stroked them
at first, before finally running through his soft hair, tugging at it gently and loving to have
him so close to you.
"Yes, it's me Javi, your cariño, I came for you, I couldn't stay away any longer" Javier smiled
and leaned in, kissing your lips, his arms immediately snaked around your frame, pulling you
closer.
His kiss was so urgent and he really showed you how much he'd missed you. You moaned
into his mouth needing his touch as much as he needed yours, but you remembered you were
in a public place, and not only that, you were in a public place where everyone knew Javi and
he could easily become the town's gossip - more than he already had. And much against your
will, you broke the kiss, but your hands didn't leave his face, not yet, as you wanted to feel
his skin under your touch, you wanted to make sure he was actually there, standing next to
you. And boy he looked handsome. Painfully handsome like you grew to love each time
more and more, never getting enough of your man.
"How?" He asked, mesmerized, his grip around your waist was tight as he didn't want to let
go of you and you proceeded to briefly tell him what happened in the last few days and how
you simply quit and took the first flight to him. Javi just smiled and pulled you for another
kiss, he didn't want to stop touching you at any moment, but as his father cleared his throat,
he forced himself to break another kiss and turn to him.
"Pa, this is Y/N, my fiance… She left Colombia and she's gonna stay with us" he told him
and you blushed hard.
You realized you had just flew to a city you knew nobody and you were imposing your
presence in someone else's house. What if Javier's dad didn't want you around? You gulped
but still extended your hand to him.
"Mucho gusto, don Chucho" you said nervously, as the older man shook your hand and
observed you, seeing you were wearing his late wife's ring. He wasn't one to smile a lot, but
he gave you a nod
"Welcome home, mijita. Javier has told me a lot about you, but I think he forgot to mention
how truly beautiful you were" he added and it made the tension go away. Now you knew
where Javi's charms came from and it was soothing to know his dad was warm to you, after
all, he welcomed you home, so you assumed he was okay with you staying.
He turned to Javier and frowned, his expression hardening again "she must be hungry, take
her to the buffet and do this pretty lady a favor and dance with her" he told his son and you
held the urge of bursting out laughing. There was something just so amusing in seeing Javier
being treated like a child that even if it angered you, it was still adorable.
You helped yourself to the delicious food once Javi led you to the buffet table and you
explained to him how awkward you felt in being at someone's wedding without being
uninvited, but he just brushed it off assuring you there was no problem. He had so many
questions to ask you, but at the same time he just wanted to undress you from the pretty
summer dress you wore and touch you in the most inappropriate ways he could think of, but
at the same time he wanted to hold you in front of the whole town and dance with you, show
them Javier Peña had found someone he loved, someone he trusted and he would be happy
with. He wasn't just a manwhore, he wasn't the kind of guy women wouldn't want to preserve
their reputation away from, he was yours.
So he waited patiently for you to finish eating and then he took you by the hand, "come on,
hermosa, let's dance" he winked at you and led you to the dancefloor, his hands always on
your body, as you two swayed gently to the romantic ballad that played.
People stared and watched, some of them didn't care, but others were shocked and amused to
see Javier Peña tied to a girl like that. Some even managed to spot the infamous ring on your
finger and that would lead to some juicy gossip the next day, and you knew that if the people
from Laredo wanted a show, then you would give them a show. So you just kissed Javier
once more, mid-song, for everyone to see, so there wouldn't be any doubts of what nature
your relationship was.
•••
At the end of the party, Javi drove Chucho back to the ranch and then took you to the motel,
so he could help you get your stuff and you would also have some time alone to talk things
through. As he drove, you told him in details everything that went on the weeks he had been
absent and how you simply couldn't stand being away from him. You mentioned how fed up
you were with your job and how Manu was the one to apologize and suggest you went after
Javi, which surprised your man, but he felt thankful deep down inside, because then, you
were there for him.
Javi was just so happy, he couldn't hide the excitement about having you closer to him, he
couldn't leave his hands away from your skin, as one of his hand always rested on your thigh
as he drove. He was taking the road back home, when you bit your lips
"Javi wait…" you asked "I want to talk to you in private, before we get to the ranch" you said
and he immediately parked on the stretch of the road and a sudden memory of the night he
took you on a date in Colombia and fucked you in his car made you blush. God, you'd missed
that man.
"It's just that… I know we talked a lot about our future on the ranch and how we wanted it,
but we also stressed it was a plan for the future, so if you don't feel ready to have that, or you
think that us living together is too soon, let me know, okay? I don't wanna impose on your or
your dad and I can find a place for myself here, I saved a pretty good amount of money so I
can get by for some time until I find a job" you told him, but he calmly smirked at you "come
with me" he said exiting the car and waited for you to do the same, taking you to the back of
his truck, helping you up so you could sit down as he joined you.
Javi took your hand in his and stroked it gently, looking into your eyes and pecking your lips
gently
"Mi amor, if you want I can marry you tomorrow… you are my future, and I want whatever
you give me, all I need is you baby girl, so yeah, if it's up to me, you'll call that ranch your
home, and you'll pick a beautiful wedding dress downtown tomorrow and we can get started
on trying for a baby Peña tonight" he tilted his head and winked at you, his old charms
always there, which made you throw yourself into his arms and kiss him.
You thought Javi would fuck you in the back of his trunk, but instead he made love to you
that night. And as you rested against his naked chest, with only his jacket thrown over your
body as a blanket, you looked up at the sky and realized how clear and starry it was.
"Look how beautiful it is Javi" you pointed at the stars to draw his attention but he just
shrugged "it doesn't compare to how beautiful you are, cariño" he said in return making your
heart melt.
When you began shivering, Javier helped you get dressed and drove you back to the ranch. It
was dark and silent as his dad was already asleep, but you really liked what you saw. You
knew how happy your fiance had been there and you just wished you could be just as happy
as he was once, but you had a gut feeling telling you you would, as you'd live there with the
love of your life.
When you were in his bedroom, you and Javi went for another round, you just craved his
cock as much as he craved your entire body and when you came down from your bliss, you
two decided to set the date to the wedding. It would happen in a few months, so you would
have time to adapt to the city and plan things.
You knew you were the luckiest person in the world when you snuggled closer to Javier and
watched his side profile as he slept peacefully. That man was yours and you were his. You
two loved each other and would get married soon.
 NINETEEN
Chapter Summary

Gossip, wedding dresses trials and the visit of your mother who obviously doesn't like
your fiance makes everyone really question if your wedding will happen or not

The first thing you felt when you stirred in bed as you were trapped in that moment between
sleep and consciousness, was Javier's boner pressed against your body. It wasn't unusual, it
was a feeling you grew to love every single morning you woke up next to him, but with his
recent absence once he left Colombia, you had missed it. It was just one of the particularities
of your relationship that just made you and Javi… well, you and Javi.
You rubbed yourself against his hard on, dragging whimpers from his sleeping face, you
didn't mean to tease him, you just wanted to be closer, feel his warmth against your body, like
you had longed for all the time you had to spend apart. His arm was thrown over your body
as you felt him sinking his face further into your hair, giggling softly at how he just mumbled
something in his sleep. You hadn't seen Javi relaxed like that in months, you liked it. He
wasn't wary, his body wasn't tense or stiff and he didn't wake up at every move you made in
bed.
You opened your eyes and took in your surroundings, you were so used to the old routine,
you expected to find yourself in his apartment in Colombia, the old furniture, the mirror
facing the bed, the heat barging in from the window, but instead, you saw the room was still
dark, blinders closed, the disposal of the furniture was different, the decoration wasn't the
same, but the mirror by the bed… that remained. Dirty old Javier, always showing his
kinkiness in the slightest details. He mumbled again against your head and you chuckled, you
loved this new dynamics you two had established ever since you got to Laredo, it'd been a
few weeks now and you were adapting just fine.
At first, you were so worried and anxious about everything. First of all, terrified Chucho
would be annoyed at your presence, after all Javier just told him eventually one day you
would move in with them and just a couple of days later you showed up there without a
warning and he was forced to take you in. No matter how many times Javier tried assuring
you Chucho was fine with it, you still felt worried about bothering him, you didn't want to
make him feel uncomfortable in his own home and more than once you reminded Javi you
would be okay with going somewhere else.
But you father-in-law happened to be a real welcoming person; at first, he was serious, kept
to himself, and he very often glanced at you, as if he analyzed you, trying to figure out if you
were a good person or not. At first, it was obvious he didn't put faith into Javier's
engagement, that boy had been engaged once and things didn't end well for neither part, and
Chucho was terrified of another scandal and the inevitable humiliation that would come
together in case his son replicated his old behavior; that was until he noticed how head over
heels Javier was for you, and then his concerns changed: what if instead of Javier breaking
your heart, you broke his?
And that was why at first, all the older man did was stare at you and watch you quietly, trying
to get a glimpse of your intentions. He knew Javier wasn't a child anymore, his son was
strong, independent, and didn't get attached easily, but at the same time, Chucho had never
seen him act towards a woman like that, he could see the need Javier had of you, of your
touch, how he constantly had a hand over your body: on the small of your back, your thigh,
your waist. It was explicit to him how emotionally dependent Javier was on you and it made
him shiver to think of what would happen if you left him, he was sure his son would have a
hell to pay. Some would've said he deserved it, he had it coming, but Chucho would be
heartbroken too, he knew his son already came back from Colombia a little broken after
everything he witnessed, and he didn't want him to suffer anymore.
But you started waking up early every morning and made everyone breakfast and your father-
in-law couldn't deny the fact you were a good cook, and that breakfast was way better than
his and his son's. Then when Javi and him left for work, you'd stay, organize the house a little
and wait for them always with lunch and dinner ready and Chucho didn't hate that at all. But
what really got to his heart, was when you asked him about what Javier was like when he was
little. He saw it was finally his opportunity to speak, he'd missed that, having someone to talk
to and you and him were quick to establish a good, sweet relationship. He was fatherly and
protective of you and you were kind and patient with him. You understood the years of
loneliness made him harden, somewhat like it had happened to Javier in Colombia, but once
you showed him you were willing to listen to him, to what he had to say, Chucho became
almost a second father to you, he appreciated you for giving him the attention Javier didn't,
you listened to him, you paid attention to his advices and his life experience, and before he
knew, he was convinced you were the right girl for his son, because to Chucho, you were
already part of the family.
You also really enjoyed the times you spent with him, he was a wise man, he told you a lot
about his life, his deceased wife and of course, about your Javi. And that's how you learned
Javier was terrified of chickens when he was a toddler, and how he fell from a tree and broke
his arm when he was eight. And how Chucho walked on him losing his virginity with
Lorraine once when he came earlier from work.
And Javier wanted to kill himself, mortified and deeply embarrassed about being exposed
like that to you. He knew you had a deep admiration for him, and he worried that would be
ruined after the dreadful things his dad had told you about his life.
And all you could do was laugh, you loved learning more about him, each time you passed
by a chicken you couldn't help yourself but giggle, and whenever you saw Lorraine running
errands in town you couldn't help but cringe at the story you heard. No wonder she barely
looked Chucho in the eyes. You also felt pretty good to learn that Chucho never called
Lorraine 'mijita' just like he called you. You knew it was petty, she probably didn't even care
about the Peñas anymore, but you couldn't help giving into that small competition established
in your mind and fueled by people in town. Ever since Javier arrived, many people seemed to
be betting against your relationship, they didn't mean harm for real, but they just had their fun
by letting snarky comments here and there as if you and Javi were two tabloid celebrities
with a scandalous life.
In the first weeks, it bothered you a little, it was just so disrespectful to be walking around the
store and have people whispering about you, not even waiting for you to leave before making
their comments, but as you were getting used to the city, you began simply not caring about
things at all. Whenever you were out with Javi, you made sure to hold his hand, kiss his
cheek or peck his lips, if people wanted to comment, then you two would give them
something to talk about. So it stopped being annoying and it became funny, to the point of
you and Javi establishing a competition of gossip you'd heard about yourselves.
'Did you know Y/N is pregnant and she is trying to hide?'
'I heard Javier is going back to Colombia and leaving his girlfriend behind'
'They aren't a couple, they are both undercover to chase down Pablo Escobar who faked his
own death and moved to Laredo"
It always made you and Javi laugh, it was good to know your relationship was healthy
enough so you could joke about stuff like that, you felt good about it, and Javi felt his heart
swelling with pride to see you trusted him blindly.
While Chucho and Javi left for work, you often walked around town, sending out your
resume to companies you found interesting, you often went grocery shopping and you got
your library card done, so you could pick up a book and entertain yourself. Camila, the girl
who gave you a ride to meet Javi the day you got to Laredo became your friend, and you
sometimes hung out together at coffee shops or bakeries. Your life in Laredo was going better
than expected, you weren't having any problems, you enjoyed the place, the weather, your
relationship with Javi was just as good as it had been, he still couldn't keep his hands off you
and you had already fucked in places you probably shouldn't have. His truck for once, the
stables, the green fields behind his ranch… He also fingered you when you two went to the
movies. You didn't even pretend you didn't want to, or that you thought it wasn't a good idea
anymore… anywhere Javi wanted to take you, he had you willing to spread your legs for
him.
It was so good, the intimacy you had with Javi you never had with anyone and you couldn't
even if you tried. Though Javi's bedroom was away from his dad, you couldn't make as much
noise as you would like to, so every Sunday morning, while Chucho went to church as a good
catholic man, you and Javi enjoyed your alone time together. He would take his time with
you and you loved every single part of it.
So you were already awake, when the rooster crowed and you knew it was only a matter of
time for Chucho to leave for church. On the weekends, he established you didn't have to
make them breakfast, it was your time off, but you still got up and made it, because the
earlier he has breakfast, the sooner he'd leave you and Javi alone.
You were organizing the kitchen when Javi walked to you, arms snaking around your waist
and kissing your neck. You whimpered at his touch, always knowing your body so well.
"Come on Javi, have breakfast honey" you whispered as he kissed your neck, nibbling it and
not caring if he'd leave the mark of his teeth on your skin.
You groaned at his touch, Javier just had a way to touch and tease you, making everything
else seem so distant and meaningless. At his touch, it felt like nothing but him and his cock
mattered to you.
"You know damn well what I wanna have for breakfast baby girl" he whispered, his hands
going for your breasts, squeezing them softly and toying with your nipples "you know I'm so
fucking hungry… and thirsty for you" Javier whispered into your ear and sent shivers down
your spine. Ever since he'd made you squirt for the first time, Javi was addicted to it, and he
devoted his Sunday mornings to see you pour for him. There was nothing that made that man
go on more than drip down your sweet honey, it drove him mad and you both knew it. "Come
on cariño, the bed is all ready for you… everything is waterproof, your soft towels are in
place so you can make your delicious mess, mi amor" he whispered and took you by the
hand.
•••
Javi had been pounding into you for a while, you were feeling so worked up, your wetness
leaking out of you as your cunt was already sensitive and swollen. Javier had teased and
stimulated you, knowing just how to get you ready for him. A plug he had gifted you a
couple of weeks before, shoved deep into your tight asshole, because he just knew you
squirted when all your holes were filled. You felt so full, Javi's thick cock pounding into you
as he pulled and pushed your plug by its base, fucking your ass at the same time. You were
tired, sweaty, the knot in your lower belly getting more and more urgent and yet you still had
to be strong enough to hold back your orgasm because Javi would punish you if you came
before he told you it was okay to do it.
Your legs shook and Javi groaned at each thrust, the way your walls tightened around his
cock, making him even more sensitive to you, but he was determined, he wanted to have all
of your honey and he wouldn't stop until he got it.
Suddenly, his moves ceased and you felt empty as Javier slid out of you. You panted, trying
to catch your breath glad to have a small break, which didn't take very long, not with Javi
getting between your legs once more and breathing down your cunt "you're so perfect
hermosa, you look so beautiful all spread up and open just for me…" he praised, his lips
ghosting over your inner thigh, small gentle kisses, just enough to drag goosebumps all over
your skin.
"Javi please… don't tease" you whimpered and saw his frown, before his hand swatted your
cunt in one dry slap
"I can do whatever you want, cariño, this cunt is mine, this ass is mine, you are entirely mine,
aren't ya?" He questioned you and you just nodded at him, whimpering as Javi finally got to
your clit, suckling on it at the same time he used both arms to keep your waist in place, not
letting you escape him as he ate you out, your legs shaking as he locked you with one arm,
leaving the other free and shoving two fingers deep into your cunt, hitting your special spot
and speeding up. He smirked at the undeniable pleasure in your face, loving how you moaned
and slithered softly among the sheets. You felt that intense sensation building up once more,
your lower belly felt on fire and you knew you were too close now, Javi could tell you
weren't able to hold back any longer and softened up, giving your hard, soaked clit a gentle
kiss "come on princesa, pour for me, make it fucking rain" he whispered against your pussy
and you finally relaxed, reaching for your orgasm and letting the stream hit Javier.
You had only blurs of him waiting for your sweetness, you couldn't keep your eyes open, but
Javi stood right there loving to get your load all over his face.
You felt like you were melting in a puddle of pleasure, feeling tired and a little sore and yet,
Javi climbed on top of you, his face wet with your juices as he kissed you and got his cock
inside of you again
"Come on cariño, let's make our baby Peña" he whispered into your ear.
•••
You giggled as you entered the kitchen, Javi was right behind you, hands around your waist,
squeezing you and making you giggle as the two of you had dripping hair and the clothes still
hanging tight to your bodies, as you exited the shower not more than minutes before. You
should have made lunch at least an hour before, knowing Chucho would come from church
hungry and you and Javi could also eat after spending a lot of energy in bed, but the way he
couldn't keep his hands off you, really jeopardized the other activities in the house, and at the
same time you sort of felt guilty about it, you couldn't resist when it came to Javier Peña. He
was your addiction, you just needed and craved him at every hour of your day, the weeks
you'd spent apart you thought you were going crazy without him by your side, so now that
you could spend a lifetime with him, you definitely didn't want to let it go. As you got into
the kitchen, you stopped dead on tracks
"Mom?!" You nearly shouted, eyes widening as you saw how your mother stood up next to
Chucho, who had his hands on his waist - a classic Javier pose and you knew where he got
that from, you could chuckle to yourself at that new piece of information on your fiance, if it
weren't for the unnerving feeling your mom was giving you. The way she looked around
displeased with everything and everyone. How she eyed Javier up and down and couldn't
show the slightest smile or any traces of sympathy. "W-what are you doing here?" It was all
you could ask her, watching as she shook her head and scoffed
"What exactly did you expect? You simply write me a letter saying you quit your job and that
you were going to get married and live in this place?" She looked around "I needed to see
with my own eyes, and yes, Y/N, you are indeed out of your mind!"
"I'm not. I'm marrying Javier and I'm staying in Laredo, because Javi and Don Chucho took
me in and treat me like family. I don't care what you say, mom, I'm staying" you said and
frowned "how did you even get in here?" And it was Chucho's turn to clear his throat and add
his own version to the conversation
"I found the lady looking for information downtown, she wanted to know where our ranch
was so I offered a ride"
Javier saw how tense you got and tried using his charms to soothe your mom, maybe all she
needed was some flattering, just to get to know him, not many women could resists Javier's
sweet brown eyes, his beautiful smile and his polite manners, but the moment he tried
greeting him properly your mom made everything at her power to keep him away, not hiding
the disdain for him, which immediately made you angry and guilty, to have your uninvited
mom treating like shit the people who loved and treated you like family.
Everyone could feel the tension in that kitchen and yet it was a mystery how things would be
solved. Luckily to you, Chucho offered to take all of you out for lunch at a nice restaurant,
then he suggested you should take your mom to some shops and other sights of Laredo, and
though you were thankful for that, you felt really upset to know she was there only with one
mission: make you give up on your wedding.
You spent the rest of the day in a thick tension, you and your mom chatted briefly about
family, work, and one could see and think it was just an ordinary case of mom and daughter
catching up on the news, but you knew there was more to it. Luckily, Chucho's suggestion
worked and she was easily distracted during the day, getting to know the city and going to
bed early, being tired because of her trip. Javi also noticed everything and though he hadn't
questioned you through the day you knew you would have a conversation about it. For all the
time you've known each other, you barely spoke about your family, all you told him was that
you had a complicated relationship with your mother and that they used to really like your
former fiance, so when he left you, it all came out as a shock. You two hadn't discussed a
guest list because after a whole week of trying to plan the details, you had decided to have a
courthouse wedding. Not really you took that decision, but rather Javier and Chucho did. You
realized the two of them were terrified of another scandal concerning that matter and even if
you reassured Javier you trusted him and knew things would be different this time, he still
thought it was safer to go with his dad's idea. You did feel disappointed, you'd already
envisioned marrying Javier in a simple, but beautiful party, you had dreamed about inviting
Murphy, Connie and your other friends, your family of course, not everybody, but the ones
you were the closest to, and yet, you ended up agreeing to just signing the papers and
carrying on with your day. A party didn't matter that much, but you would like to celebrate it,
to put on a nice beautiful dress and show that whole town that yes, you and Javier loved each
other and you would work out, despite every mean thing that'd been said and spread by those
people. Your mom also agreed on having a discrete, small wedding, but it puzzled her to
know why everyone seemed to be insisting on it, you could tell she was suspicious of
something but you didn't feel like telling her everything that happened between Javier and his
first bride, it would only bring all of you chaos and arguments.
When you got in your bedroom later that night, you had hopes Javi was already asleep, you
didn't quite know what to expect, of course he was an intelligent and observing man and he
definitely understood from the very beginning you mom already hated him. You didn't know
if it bothered Javi or not, but it probably did a little, no one liked to be hated by someone else
and especially not without a good reason. You closed the door quietly, seeing Javi was lying
in bed and smiled relieved, though he immediately raised his head from his pillow and
immediately turned towards you
"Cariño?" He called you and you bit your lips "we need to talk" he told you and beckoned,
watching as you walked towards the edge of the bed and couldn't help but chuckle as he
pulled you by your arm, making you lose balance and fall on top of him. You watched Javier
closely, taking in how handsome he was, your heart not taking it as you admired his side
profile and gently you traced the shape of his nose with the tip of your fingers, smiling at
him, though you could see his expression was serious.
"Your mom doesn't want us to get married, does she?" He sighed as you nodded. "why? Does
she know about Lorraine?" You shook your head shyly "I need you to use your words,
cariño… come on" he whispered against your ear as if he was seducing you, like he often did.
"She doesn't, Javi… I haven't told my mom a lot of things, I haven't even called her, I wrote
her a letter, hoping we would've been married by the time she got it. It felt weird not to tell
her, but I knew she would have this reaction. She didn't like to know I was in love with you
when I first got to Colombia and she definitely doesn't like our lifestyle, you know like the
ranch and other things like this…" you said ashamed and looked down "I am not happy with
her visit Javi, and I pissed off at how she got here and she thinks she's the queen of the
world" you confessed and Javi straightened up his posture, rubbing his forehead and sighing
"if she stays here for a long time, she will eventually find out about the gossip… maybe we
should just go to the courthouse tomorrow, sign the papers and get this thing over with" he
suggested and you couldn't help but feel disappointed, your wedding was now 'this thing'?!
You shook your head
"Javi, do you really wanna marry me?" You asked worriedly and watched as he sighed again
"I don't wanna be annoying and insecure, that's just not us… but we went from leaving
Colombia and getting married, having a beautiful party, wearing a wedding dress for you, and
then we just thought of a courthouse wedding and now you tell me we should do it tomorrow,
just to get this thing over with?"
Javi held your face between his big hands and stroked your cheek gently, leaning in and
pecked your lips, before getting off bed and getting on his knees in front of you. He took your
hand, caressing it and watching his mom's ring "you're completely right, hermosa. I'm sorry if
I made you feel like that, of course I still wanna marry you. I was worried you wouldn't want
it after your mom arrived" he sighed "I don't want you to be upset… I want you to go out
tomorrow and get yourself a pretty wedding dress, the most beautiful one you can find… I
want you to be even more gorgeous to me, and once you get your dress we will figure
something out, okay? Something that won't be as impersonal as a courthouse wedding… I
just want you to be my wife, I want to have baby with you some day, mi amor" he said,
giving you his sweet eyes, and leaning towards your touch as you caressed his cheek.

•••
"You know mom, you didn't really need to come here with me, it's a simple task… I'll pick a
dress I like and buy it" you said as the two of you walked into the wedding dress store, the
only one in Laredo and that you were sure you wouldn't really like the options, judging by
what you'd seen in the window at least. You mom just rolled her eyes and scoffed
"You are already marrying this… man" she said "the least I can do for you is to help you pick
up a decent wedding dress, knowing your taste it will definitely be a nightmare, Y/N" you
gritted your teeth and before you could say anything else, a smiling girl came towards you,
introducing herself as the clerk and dragging you over to the wedding dresses section. No
matter how many times you'd said you were looking for a simple model, something
comfortable and pretty, all she did was show you layers and layers of white, flamboyant lace,
gigantic veils and your heart clenched to see you were having a hard time to even pick a
dress, maybe it was all a sign? No, you shook that thought away, you and Javi were meant to
be together, and no matter what was going on, you two would get married.
When you finally spotted a simple, sleeveless white dress, you sighed relieved. You didn't
like it very much, but it fit better the kind of party - if you were having a party at all - than the
other options and you insisted on trying it on, despite the comments coming from both your
mom and the clerk, who stated the dress was too plain and too simple. You felt your blood
boiling, but you didn't say anything at all, it was bad enough you and Javi were the constant
subject of gossip around town, and you figured a public argument with your mom wouldn't
favor either of you, so you forced yourself to suck it up and get inside the fitting room.
The clerk smiled at your mom trying to make small talk "so… ma'am, your daughter is
marrying Javier Peña… he's kind of a big deal here in Laredo, everybody knows him, he's
more of a lição hero, and it's cool that his first bride bought her dress here, and now his
second bride is doing the same, hopefully she'll be luckier than Lorraine" the young girl
shrugged, trying to sound innocent but also looking for some juicy details she could spread
on with her co-workers later.
Your mom's eyes snapped at the girl's words and she didn't stop inquiring until your mom got
the full, whole story. And boy, she wasn't happy about it.
You watched yourself in the mirror, you hated the dress. Maybe not the dress, but you were
hating that experience, that tension and the stress. You hated that store, you hated that sales
clerk who always whispered when she saw you and Javi passing by. There was nothing you
wanted more than to marry Javi, and he had been clear about wanting to marry you too, but it
felt like things weren't collaborating. Not even a dress you could find, and it made you
anxious. As you undressed, you couldn't help but stare at your stomach, picturing if you'd
look too different with a pregnant bump. You knew getting pregnant was just a matter of time
and quite honestly you were a bit surprised it hadn't happened yet, with the amount of times
Javi finished inside of you. Still, it didn't feel like the right moment just yet, but when it did,
you'd be very happy to have baby Peña inside.
You knew it was time to get rid of that horrible dress and head home, but you didn't think
your mom would be waiting for you at the door, her face seemed to have been replaced with
a mask of anger which puzzled you until you all got to the ranch.
Chucho and Javi were at the table having some coffee and a slice of cake when they heard the
commotion of the two women barging in. Your voices were loud but muffled and though it
was obvious you and your mother were having an argument, they still couldn't exactly
understand what you two were quarreling about. Both men got up and walked to the door,
getting to the living room where you were already crying and your mom made sure to tell
you horrible words, wanting to express her point of view which she considered to be the only
right way to see things.
Javier didn't like that distress, he knew you were out to see your wedding dress, it was
supposed to be a nice day for a woman, and he didn't need to be a genius to see whatever
happened ruined it for you. His first reaction was to wrap his arms around your body and pull
you closer, kissing the top of your head and stroking your cheek "shh calm down, cariño…
what happened?" He asked worried but your mom immediately walked to him
"You happened!!!" She yelled "you happened to disgrace my daughter's life, Javier! How can
she marry someone like you? You cannot even be called a man! You're a coward, a disgusting
person!!! And my daughter is the stupidest woman in the world!!! She was humiliated by a
man like you, but she seems to like your type because she is willing to make the same
mistake for the second time now!!!" Your mom yelled feeling so angry and wanting to inflict
as much pain as she could "and even if you don't abandon her at the altar, Mr. Peña… what
do you have to offer her? This house? A life on the farm? Taking care of kids and animals?
Until what? She gets too unattractive to you and you start chasing down girls half your age?"
"ENOUGH!!!" you finally roared, being fed up with that scene, that horrid act of cruelty
"enough!!! You have no right to say those things, mom!!! You weren't invited here, you
weren't even invited to the wedding, I just told you I would be getting married to Javi, well,
now I don't even know if there will be a wedding, but you are no one to tell me what to do or
what not to do!!! I love Javi and I want this life, we both do! I trust him, I wanna be his wife,
be the mother of his children and if you don't like it, just go away!!! I'm not asking for
permission or your approval!" You finally said and gently got rid of Javi's arms, not wanting
to be there any longer.
You ran out the door and went for the green fields, the ones you often made love with him
and walked until you were far away from the house, from that ranch that despite the large
size, made you feel suffocated. You and sat down on the grass and allowed yourself to shed
your tears, letting all the hurt out of your chest as you felt so upset at everything that was
happening. Your mom had no right to try to ruin everything for you, you were supposed to be
living the best of your relationship with Javi and not having everything spoiled by anyone
just because they thought it was fun to comment on your life.
You hung your head low and sighed, trying to find some inner peace.
Some time later, Javi watched you from afar as he squinted his eyes because of the sun and
placed his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath and walked towards you, climbing the
small hill you sat yourself on and reaching you.
"Hey" he said licking his bottom lip "your mom packed her things and decided to fly back
home, dad just took her to the airport…" he said carefully and watched as you nodded, your
eyes still red and puffy. It simply broke his heart.
"J-Javi I'm so sorry about what she said… about everything, this scene, this argument, about
the things I've told you… I'm just so tired of this, of having to step on eggshells all the time
when we are out because people gossip about us, it's not fair we have to give up our wedding,
our celebration of a new start because of a bunch of dicks around here… all the gossip was
funny at first, but now's just tiring. I'm tired of having people telling me you're going to
abandon me or you're going to cheat on me, because you're not" you held Javier's face
between your hands and stared into his eyes "I know you'll never do this, we both know it"
you sniffed sadly as Javi gently wiped the tears that insisted on falling down.
"You're totally right, cariño… I'm tired of that too, I understand if you don't wanna marry me
or if you don't wanna live in Laredo with me, but I thought of a solution to show these
fucking hillbillies how we're meant to be for real: I want to have a big ranch wedding, it can
be here, in the fields… we get a priest or whatever to bless our ceremony, we have a big party
so we can show everyone how we are getting married for real, the whole town as a witness to
our love, so they'll shut up about it. You can get your wedding dress handmade with the
seamstress who lives a couple of miles away…" he suggested it, his heart hammering his
ribcage as he watched you closely. "What do you say, mi amor? Will you still marry me?"
And then Javi stared at you with his stupid, deep brown eyes, you could tell at that moment
he would do anything for you and your heart clenched at how much you loved him, it just ran
through your body, your veins, your pores. You loved Javier with your whole heart and soul
and it was obvious you would still marry him.
 FINAL CHAPTER
Chapter Summary

The well deserved happy ending Javi and his beautiful wife waited for so long

It didn't matter to you if you were walking around the house with your hair and makeup done
but still wearing a dress gown that covered your white lingerie before you could actually put
on your wedding dress. Your heart was hammering your chest, making your breathing uneven
and your anxiety kicking you in the ribs at every passing minute, you just needed to find Javi,
your Javi, your soon-to-be husband Javi, because in just a matter of hours, you would get
married, your dream would finally come true and after battling so long for your happiness,
building up your relationship, and against all odds you and Javi were about to have your
happy ending.
You knew a lot of people betted against the two of you; they were just so sure things wouldn't
work out, and that you and Javier were bound to break up, they assumed he would fail you,
he would just break your heart, take you for granted or cheat on you, and that couldn't be
further from the truth, as Javier took care of you as if you were the most precious stone he'd
ever seen. He was just hopelessly in love with you and there was nothing he could do. It was
simply love at its purest form, and even if it came later into his life, making Javi think during
countless nights he wasn't worthy of loving, of having a family, there it was, simply and
wholeheartedly, meant to be with the girl of his dreams.
You still had a few hours until the wedding, as the bride you had to start getting ready early,
but you needed to see Javier, even if he was busy, or if he was getting ready himself, you
didn't know, you'd been separated from him when you woke up, under the excuse he couldn't
see you before the ceremony, as it would be a sign of bad luck, though you didn't really care
nor believe those popular myths, nothing could ruin your day.
Still, you needed to get to Javi, it was just a real necessity to see him, to look into his eyes,
kiss his lips and tell him what you needed to tell him before you two tied the knot, you didn't
care if your clothes weren't adequate, - if you could call them clothes at all, it was just a
simple gown covering you barely, but you crossed the house, not caring if there was anyone
else there.
"What are you doing, mijita?" Chucho frowned softly as he spotted you and placed his hand
on his hips, he'd just left his room, the one Javier was using to get ready, just to check up on
his son and see if he was really going all the way, after all, even if Chucho believed his son
was really a happy man now, he still thought it was better be safe than sorry, not giving the
destiny any chances of repeating itself.
"I need to talk to Javi, don Chucho, please… is he here?" You asked him, smiling nervously
at him and that poor old man's heart couldn't take it. He loved you like a daughter already and
he knew how happy you made his son, so he only nodded and pointed at the door, "go ahead
mijita, he's as nervous as you are" the man who treated you like a father would cleared his
throat and walked away, wanting to give you two privacy to talk - or do whatever that dirty
mind of his son had planned.
You knocked on the door so Javi wouldn't be startled once you opened it, and with no more
waiting you got inside. Your heart raced and you could swear you fell in love all over again
with Javier. He was just so effortlessly handsome as he checked himself in front of the mirror,
his jacket suit was still open, allowing anyone to take a good look at his silky white shirt. His
tie lying on the bed as if he'd just discarded it, Javi had just shaved that morning, his cheeks
were smooth and soft as his mustache was meticulously trimmed, he'd brushed his hair as
well, wanting to look his best for you. He also knew there would be a crowd of people
watching him, well, the two of you really, but the main focus was him, because their money
would certainly be on Javier not showing up for his wedding again. At first he thought he
would like to show them how wrong they were, rub on their faces that Javier Peña was a
reliable, responsible man, not only that, he was a family man, the kind of man to have a
loving wife and build a beautiful family with their lovely kids, but as the days went by and
the wedding date got just around the corner, he realized none of that mattered to him; he
didn't give a rat's ass if people from town, Lorraine, or even his dad believed he was capable
of settling down or not, because the only thing that mattered to him was you. You were the
one Javi wanted to please, to impress and to hold on to forever, you were the love of his life
and he was the love of your life and the thought of spending the rest of his days with you was
enough to bring peace into his heart. So at the end of day, he didn't care what people thought
or said, he cared about you, about the family you would have together and about having the
perfect wedding in order to make you happy.
"Javi?" You asked, snapping him out of his daydreams and immediately turned to you. He
wasn't expecting seeing you before the ceremony but smiled as you walked to him, sensing
something was off, as you rushed to him, wrapping your arms as tight as you could around
his body and buried your face into his chest.
"Hey hermosa, did something happen?" Javi asked with a bit of worry as he felt you clinging
to his shirt, the way you sniffed and looked up at him with your teary eyes. You shook your
head, you didn't want to scare him or bother him at all just because you were anxious. He
held your head gently between his hands, holding you in place and analyzing your makeup,
how beautiful you looked
"You're gorgeous, you know that? I love your makeup, and your hair is looking very nice too,
even if you don't have your dress on, I could marry you just know, because you're perfect" he
smiled and took your hand, humming in approval as he saw you had your nails painted red,
despite everyone else saying it should be white, you just ignored them and went with your
future husband's favorite color "rojo te sale tan bien, mi amor" he took your hand to his
mouth, kissing it very gently, like the gentleman he was.
"I'm sorry Javi, I was feeling so anxious, I have something to say…" you took a deep breath
and stared into his beautiful brown eyes, the most beautiful pair you'd ever seen, because they
belonged to him and you loved everything that had to do with your Javi.
"Go ahead cariño, tell me anything you want, except if it's to tell me you don't wanna marry
me anymore, that I don't wanna hear it" he joked softly and pecked your lips once more,
dragging his lips to your law and going down your neck. You groaned, he wasn't playing fair
with you and he knew it. He was your weakness and you did take a risk by showing up in
front of him with very little clothing and yet all dolled up for him, but you ached for him, for
his presence and reassurance, maybe not in a sexual way, not at that moment at least, but you
still needed him close. You opened your eyes again and your hands went to the side of his
head, fingers sinking into his soft hair, feeling his scalp and massaging it, loving that feeling,
not caring if Javi would have to fix his hair again, it didn't matter to you and it didn't matter
to him either, because nothing was better than that affection. He closed his eyes and purred at
how you played with his hair, his hands were tighter on your waist and sat onto the bed,
pulling you to him and having you on his lap. He held you as if his life depended on it,
resting his face on your chest and listening to your heartbeat, closing his eyes as he was taken
back to Colombia and the night he got badly beat up and you took care of him, even after he
was awful to you, after he was petty, rude, jealous and bitter all of that towards you, you still
offered him love, comfort and warmth.
He didn't deserve you, and yet, he was gifted you. Something he would never understand,
how good things happen to men like Javier, but he wasn't going to complain, quite the
opposite, he was going to get on his knees and thank the heavens every single day of the rest
of his life. He thought of that night in Colombia and how it changed your lives forever. Back
then, you were dating Manu, and Javi had been connected with Los Pepes, after going out
looking for trouble because he couldn't control his jealousy of you, he came back home
bruised and bleeding, and you sat on his lap and wiped off the blood patiently, devotedly and
if he weren't in love with you then, he would've fallen head over heels, but after that night,
the way you simply held him, gave him love and comfort, without asking anything in return
just made him love you even more. At that night, he allowed himself to dream of a future
with you for the first time, he dreamed of you and him, back on the ranch, living a married
life and having a family together and now that things were finally happening, he wanted to
just hold you and cherish you forever, the same Javier that once thought the domesticity of a
relationship just wasn't for him, now realized he couldn't live without it.
He chuckled at how things changed and you frowned, snapping out of your own thoughts and
looked at him, he nuzzled your chest like a cat, you loved that about Javier, how he
responded to touch and how he couldn't stay away from touching you.
"What's so funny Javi?" You questioned him and felt as he shrugged
"I was just thinking of that night in Colombia, when I asked you to sit on my lap and how
hard I fell for you, even more than I had before, because you were so perfect to me and I said
I want to have a family with you and you told me it was my fever talking" he laughed "I'm
glad you saw I meant well" he said and kissed your cleavage gently, his arms wrapped a little
more around you, showing how much he enjoyed having you in his embrace.
"I'm glad you're here, cariño" his strong hand held your neck gently as he kissed your lips
"I'm glad the two of you are here" his hand ran down your chest and rested on your belly, as
you gasped and looked at him with anxiety and surprise. How could he even know?
"How?" You whispered and Javi smiled big at you "I saw the test in the trash can yesterday,
amor… I was waiting for you to tell me, but you didn't so I waited" he caressed your womb
gently "besides, I noticed your changes, I've had for a while now… your nausea, how
emotional you are when we watch TV, and this baby girl…" Javi whispered against your lips
as his hands went for your breasts, squeezing them so gently, making you moan softly at his
touch "... Do you really think I wouldn't notice your beautiful sexy tits being fuller and more
sensitive baby?" Javi purred against your skin "you know me" he said looking deeply into
your eyes.
"I was scared, Javi… we are going to get married and I was hoping we would enjoy our
married life before having the baby, bu-"
And Javi kissed you again, he wanted to shut your pretty mouth so you wouldn't overthink
and worry about things, so the best way to do so was by tasting your lips, breaking the kiss
only when he saw you'd calmed down a bit.
"Listen… things are perfect the way they are, we're getting married and our beautiful baby
Peña is already here, there's nothing else I could ask for, I have a loving wife and a baby on
the way, it's much more than I deserve it, but here it is and I couldn't be happier… are you
happy, hermosa?"
"Yes, Javi…" you whispered "then let's get married, baby girl"
•••
You had returned to your room to finish getting ready while Javi stayed behind, there wasn't a
lot he had to do to get ready as men usually had only to shower and show up to these kinds of
celebrations. He knew his dad was busy welcoming the guests and checking on everything
the catering people were setting, and there was no way he could knock on your door and ask
to hang out. He sighed as a lot was on his mind, how you two would be an official couple in a
matter of hours and you'd take his name, becoming officially Mrs.Peña and how in nine
months you would have a baby, your kid, in your arms. It was too much for Javi, but in a
good sense, he couldn't wait to finally do all those things, but he would be lying if at that
moment he wasn't feeling slightly nervous.
"Ready to tie the knot Javi? Honestly, I didn't think I'd live long enough to see that
happening…" Steve took off his aviators as he walked towards his friend and chuckled at
Javi's surprised face, giving him a hug "what? Someone had to make sure you wouldn't
escape your own wedding this time" Steve winked and Javi groaned, giving him the finger
but tiny arms wrapped around his leg, making him look down, as Olivia smiled big at him,
with her sweet face
"Avi!!!" She said excitedly still having a hard time pronouncing his name but being so happy
to be picked and lifted her up, she giggled as Javier tickled her small tummy gently and his
heart raced to think in a short while his very own little one would be able to run around and
play with Olivia.
"Where's your beautiful mama?" Javi asked and Steve chuckled "she's helping your girl get
into her wedding dress because apparently these are tricky as hell to put on" he explained
"now come on, it's time for you to get married" he said.
Javi had faced drug dealers, murderers, psychopaths, and all kinds of criminals one could
think of, he'd been inches from them, interrogating those types in a small room in a police
station, but none of them made him sweat with nervousness as having to walk down the aisle
and wait for you there, at the altar. He looked at his side, where he saw Steve standing up,
nodding at him softly, reminding him everything was going to be okay. Javi watched the
guests, recognizing many faces all over the rows, he could swear most of them were
whispering about him under their breaths. Well, at least they could see Javier Peña wasn't
leaving anyone at the altar anymore, if anything, you would be the one who would get the
chance to leave the infamous Javier Peña at the altar.
He chuckled at his own nonsense and looked down at his shoes, the waiting was killing him.
And then, a song started playing and he could swear his heart skipped a beat. He immediately
raised his head and licked his lips, seeing you from afar, his dad offering you his arm so you
would walk down the aisle with him, as your family wasn't around, Chucho decided to step in
and walk you to your husband, so proud and happy to see you and Javi were finally staying
together.
And the moment you walked closer and Javi could see you in your wedding dress, he was
head over heels for you, all over again, and he knew he would continue to do so for the rest
of his life. You were gorgeous, flawless in your dress, and all the wait made perfect sense, it
all led to that moment, it was meant to be.
When you got to the altar, Javi extended his hand to you, taking it and pulling you closer,
stealing a peck on the lips before you two turned to the priest who agreed to bless your
wedding - after a lot of Chucho's persuasion.
And after a brief ceremony, you and Javi got married in the green fields of your ranch, among
family and friends, after fighting a lot for your love, you were wholeheartedly his, his wife,
the mother of his baby and officially Y/N Peña.
And just as that night in Colombia when you two had your first fight and he stormed out, and
when he returned, he fell onto his knees for you because he said he was 'a perro a tus pies', he
got on his knees again, not giving one crap if it was in front of dozens of guests, he wrapped
his arms around your body and kissed your womb, so there wasn't any doubt to anyone that
Javier Peña was officially a family man.
•••
The months passed by faster than you ever thought they would, as your belly grew bigger and
bigger, and your baby evolved healthy and strong, you were also surrounded by love. Chucho
was all the time around you, so excited about his grandkid, he very often interrupted his work
to check on you, ask if you needed anything or offer you drinks or something to nibble on.
Every time he went to town he'd be damned if he didn't spend a good thirty minutes telling
whoever he encounter about his grandkid. And he also kept a small ultrasound picture in his
wallet too, willing to show people how cute the baby was - even if it was hard to distinguish
something in the image.
Javi wasn't as talkative and outgoing as his dad, and he didn't like talking about his private
life to the same people who very often spread gossip about himself and his pregnant wife, so
he kept all his love and affection for you and your baby. Javi was the best dad in the world,
and your baby wasn't even born yet, and yet, he made sure to come back from work and give
you all the attention in the world. Javi wasn't really happy while working on the ranch
anymore so when the opportunity of becoming chief of police showed up, he took it. It was
just enough adrenaline for him to keep interested in the job - arresting drinks and thieves,
break up fights between college boys - but safe enough to come back home to his family at
the end of the day. He couldn't complain about being a small town sheriff and you would
definitely not going to complain about the sexy uniform he wore - even if Javi hated wearing
them - and you couldn't even get started on his tactical vest, but just the mere thought of him
in one of those was enough for you to jump on him. He'd told you it was just your pregnancy
hormones making you overly sensitive to it, but you knew it wasn't, it was him wearing that
devilish vest, that was what made you sensitive.
Javi would get home from work and hold you tight, always stroking your belly and talking to
the baby. He wanted the baby to know her daddy's voice, because from the moment you two
learned you were having a baby girl, she had her dad wrapped around her tiny little finger. So
he just nuzzled your womb, talked to it and very often fell asleep with his head on your lap,
doing everything he could to be close to his princess. Chucho and Javi did all the heavy work
when it came to set the baby's room, painting, dragging the furniture around and leaving to
you the decoration part - though the two of them had so many ideas for it: Chucho thought
his granddaughter should go with the classic ballerina room, and Javi liked something to do
with butterflies after all, he was already calling his daughter mariposita.
You didn't want to take sides, so you decided your daughter's room would be bear themed,
the two men agreed reluctantly, but Chucho always bought ballerina related small gifts and
Javi did the same with butterflies.
The night you went on labor was one of the most chaotic of your life: Javi wasn't home, there
was an occurrence and he was called to the station, so you asked for your father-in-law's help
and you had never seen Chucho Peña that nervous. If you weren't in so much pain, you'd
definitely taken the car keys and driven yourself to the hospital. When Javi was finally
located and he received the news you were giving birth, he dropped everything he was doing,
leaving the things for the other cops to solve. He didn't give a shit if all the criminals broke
free at that moment, only you and your daughter mattered to him. He drove like a madman
and he would've certainly got a ticket for exceeding the speed limit if he wasn't the chief of
police after all, but he made it in time to follow the miracle of life, until the doctors decided it
would be better if you had a C-section, so they asked him kindly to leave the room, after all it
would be an operation. Javier paced the hallway, worry and fear running through his body, he
couldn't lose you nor the baby, even if no one had said anything remotely related to that, that
was definitely his biggest fear.
But everything went well, and at that same time, Analuz Peña was welcomed into this world.
Ana because it was his mother's name, and Luz because she was the light in his life, the light
that was brought in by you. He held his tiny little baby, a little afraid of hurting her, as he
couldn't remember the last time he held an infant for the last time, but when she opened her
tiny little eyes and looked at him, it felt natural, because that was his daughter.
And for the following months you and Javi met happiness in the purest form: you were
happily married, each day more and more in love with each other, now free from all the envy,
jealousy and the mean remarks about the two of you, your daughter was a beautiful and
healthy baby, loved by everyone and you couldn't have asked for a better life. To think you
had gone to Colombia to try and mend a heartbreak by diving into work and you met the love
of your life, and that the love of your life didn't think he deserved it, to think he had pushed
you away only to lose his shit when you tried to move on, which you both found out it was
impossible because your love was too strong and too intense, only to be together and then
separated by destiny. But you and Javi were meant to be and the proof of that was the
beautiful family you built as you two lived the happy, quiet life you two deserved on the
ranch.
Analuz was so lucky to have you as her mommy and Javi as her daddy, and her baby brother
who was still a tiny little dot in your womb would also be very lucky, because you were all
right for each other, and the happiness you all got, you deserved it.
 EPILOGUE
Chapter Summary

It's our favorite couple's anniversary, they deserved a celebration and we deserved a
glimpse into their lives.

Javi checked his wristwatch and sighed relieved to see it was still early, he definitely didn't
need to arrive late at work on his anniversary day, because that would mean he would have to
compensate by staying late at the end of his shift. Which, overall, was usually very calm, as
Laredo was a calm city. He barely remembered the last time he had to deal with a death, but it
was probably when Leonid had a few too many at the bar and ended up crashing his truck
against a cow that broke loose from one of the farms nearby. It was quite a ridiculous death
but not only did the old guy die but also the cow too, and Javier as the chief of police had to
show condolences to the family after treating the case with as much respect and tenacity as he
would treat a murder case in Colombia.
Colombia, he always smiled whenever he thought of that country, the one he very often
thought of as hell on Earth. It was nothing personal, he actually liked the country, the food,
the culture and for a few years he loved the women there too, but he had ups and downs, and
his downs weren't great, quite the opposite, they were traumatic, exhausting and very often
made Javi dwell in a spiral of depressing thoughts and heavy drinking.
But his ups were the best, because it was Colombia that had given Javier his wife, you, and
he would never trade that for anything in the world. It was that hot, distant country that had
provided Javier with the love of his life, and there he was, three years after his wedding day,
two kids later - Analuz Peña, two years old and nine-month-old Javier Gabriel Peña, your
little Gabe - Javi could tell the whole world he was a happy married man.
Nowadays you and Javi weren't the hot gossip of Laredo anymore, of course people still did
talk about the two of you, after all your husband ended up becoming a powerful man in the
city and many women were envious of your status, they knew the two of you made decent
money but you never spent on anything extravagant, it was a comfortable life, but what
people liked to talk about was how happy you always seemed, how Javier had proved
everyone wrong and took his marriage and fatherhood seriously. Besides, people had other
subjects to talk about, such as how everyone had learned that Leonid, the guy who died in a
crash with a cow happened to have two wives, who only learned about each other during the
funeral which led the two women into a fight and Javi had to put an end to it.
Later that day, when he got home, you two had shared quite a few laughs at the odd situation,
amused to know Laredo had other things to feel interested in.
Life was good for the two of you; you lived on a comfortable ranch, your husband provided
to the point you didn't need to get a job, you could stay home with your kids, of course their
grandpa very often spoiled them too much, but then, you couldn't complain as Chucho also
spoiled you a lot. Your husband was loving, caring, handsome and still every bit of horny for
you as he was when you two shared his bed every single night in a small, cramped apartment
in Colombia.
It always baffled you to see how happy you became, how good life was to you, and well,
even if you got down on your knees every night and thanked God for the family you were
blessed with, it would probably not be enough, your babies were your life, and their daddy…
wow, he was something else. You loved Javi with all your heart and you felt so proud of him
for the man he became, how he overcame his fears, his traumas and was able to make you the
happiest woman in the world. You two were meant to be and the clear sign of it was the
beautiful family you had.
Analuz was probably the most loved little girl in the whole world, when her grandpa didn't
linger around her the entire time, bringing her sliced apples, or ragdolls, or taking her to pet
the animals, she was all around Javi. She loved her dada with all her little heart, always
waiting up for him to arrive, even if he only got home after her bedtime and you had already
tucked her in. She still waited for him, even if it was against the rules, but she needed to give
Javi a hug before bed.
And your Javi simply melted. Whoever had met the infamous Agent Javier Peña during his
Escobar years, could never imagine a two-year-old would have him around her tiny little
finger. The man who helped to take down cartels, killed and arrested many, had to learn how
to braid his daughter's soft, silky hair. He had to learn to be patient and sit through animation
movies, to play with dolls and to read all the bedtime stories that had to do with fairies,
princesses and mermaids.
And he did an outstanding job.
For your anniversary, you and Javi decided to stay home and spend time with your family,
unlike the other years, you two wouldn't go out, even if you two had the tradition of going out
for a nice meal and some love making. The reason why, had been Gabe's recent teething,
which made him feverish and uncomfortable. Of course all you wanted was your baby boy to
be alright, but you had already gone through the same thing with Analuz when she was tiny
and you knew there wasn't much you could do other than give him the medicine and cuddle
your baby until he felt better.
You still felt a little upset about not going on a date for your anniversary but you would never
bother Javi with that, you two made a great team, but he also worked a lot and you didn't
want to exhaust him more than he already was, between the long shifts in the police station
and coming home to a feverish baby.
However, showing why Javier Peña deserved the title of best husband, he had surprised you a
few days before your anniversary, announcing he'd invited your aunt to spend a few weeks
with you on the ranch. Unlike your mom, your aunt was a kind, loving woman who actually
recognized how wonderful Javier was, and embraced your new family as part of her own;
being in Laredo with you when you first gave birth to Analuz and later on Gabe, and helping
you for the first few weeks, knowing how rough they were especially for new parents like
you and Javi were for the first time.
Also, the fact your aunt seemed to have a crush on Chucho might or might not have had to do
with the fact she accepted your husband's invitation so quickly, being on the first flight to
Laredo only two days later.
What your husband didn't know was that you had also planned a small anniversary surprise
for him, as your aunt kindly accepted to watch the kids pretty much the whole day, you were
able to put into practice what you had thought. Javi was a simple man, he loved sex and he
loved sex with you, that was a part of your relationship that didn't lack, but you knew there
was an even better taste to it if it was unexpected, to everyone who took a look at Javi, they
would see a respectable man and a good cop, but in the sheets, you knew damn well the beast
he was. Well, you and several girls from Laredo from his younger days, way before even
going to Colombia, but that didn't matter nor bothered you, as your man didn't look at anyone
but you.
So, to reward Javier Peña for being the best husband you could ask for, you had to come up
with a plan, a simple one but one you were sure would please him. First thing was to leave
home early in the morning, even before Javi to put your plan into practice, you'd asked your
aunt to watch the kids and in case your husband had asked for you, you'd told her to say you
had to go into town to find things for the special night you'd have but you wouldn't take very
long to return, perhaps he would think it was kind of odd, but he also knew how much you
loved celebrating your anniversaries, they were simply your favorite special days, the
milestones of the best thing that ever happened to you.
Parking behind the station and walking in, with the excuse your husband had asked you to
organize some things on his desk, the other cops knew better than to question you, the wife of
the chief of police. You chuckled at that thought and closed the blinders, so you could change
into more comfortable clothes.
When Javi parked his car and entered the station, he was welcomed by a few lazy 'good
mornings' here and there. As Laredo was a calm city, the law enforcement team was also…
calm, if he were nice about it, and lazy as fuck, if he were honest about it. If there was
something those cops didn't like doing very much, was definitely working; perhaps because
things were slow and they often didn't have to deal with nerve wracking situation, but still,
after all the stress Javi went through in his narcos years, he was more than thankful to be
worried about neighbors' quarrels or small thefts.
"Hey chief, there's a case for you because there's a woman waiting inside" officer Danny
informed absent minded and turned his attention back to the small TV they kept in the office
for entertainment.
Javier sighed heavily, what could be so important for someone to come after the chief of
police so early in the morning?! He was ready to carry on with his day without any bumps on
the road, he even ditched his uniform - actually Javier ditched the uniform after the first
month of work and stuck with the suits just like he wore whenever he needed to see Messina
at the Embassy. It gave him a real nice look, according to his very horny wife, and it was
more comfortable to work. That being said, Javier decided to ditch his usual, Javier Peña
trademark uniform and go for his tight jeans and pink shirt. He knew what that outfit did to
you, and he was hoping he would get a glimpse of your 'appreciation' for that outfit, but
unfortunately you'd been gone by the time he left home.
And that low-key annoyed him, it was your anniversary after all, he thought that was a
special enough occasion to have some morning fuck. So what he really didn't need was
having to deal with a grumpy old lady complaining about whatever it was Javier would
probably not care at all, because he assumed that was the kind of woman who would be
waiting for him.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?" He asked as he opened the door and entered his room, too
busy focusing on his hot steamy mug of coffee to take a look at the small couch before he had
the chance to close the window.
"I'm here to press charges against my husband, chief…" your voice hit him unexpectedly
some of his coffee dripped out of his mug and hit the floor, at the same time he abruptly
turned around to look at you; and the expression on his handsome face was priceless: big
brown eyes widened and jaw on the floor at the sight of you waiting for him in his office,
wearing nothing but a nightgown.
However, it wasn't just any nightgown, it was the same one you wore the very first time you
slept with him, back in Colombia, that night you watched him stumbling and struggling to
open the door, with his face completely bruised after getting himself into trouble.
It had become his favorite piece of clothing and you hadn't worn it in a while, but there you
were, displaying your gorgeous body with that particular outfit in honor of your anniversary.
He felt his blood going towards one direction, though his heart also warmed, thinking back
on how you had taken care of him that night, being so gentle and understanding of his
neediness, the way he asked you to sit on his lap, how he had craved your body after playing
cat and mouse for so long. The way his skin burned with fever, and yet he had never felt
better, because he was finally able to have the woman he loved in his arms for the very first
time.
"W-what are you doing here?" He managed to ask after catching his breath, devouring you
with his eyes as you stood up and walked to him, locking the door on your way towards the
man "I already told you, chief… I wanna press charges against my husband…" you licked
your lips as you stood in front of Javi, your hands on his shoulder, caressing them softly and
unbuttoning his shirt with a smirk
"Rosado te sale tan bien, jefe" you whispered against his lips, but instead of kissing his lips,
you went for his neck, your soft kisses running through his skin and causing goosebumps on
him. Javi's hands held your hips, squeezing them softly as he pressed you against his body
and you chuckled at the feeling of his hardening cock against your body.
"What's wrong with your husband, ma'am?" Javi finally got into the game, licking his lips
and smirking softly "word in the streets says you're happily married"
"Well, I don't actually have a complaint, he's a nice guy… but I've got my eyes on the chief of
police for a while now and I can't wait to have a taste of him too" you bit your lips and pulled
Javier gently towards the chair, making it clear you wanted him to sit down on his chair.
He gladly obliged and swallowed, his eyes darkening with lust the moment you unbuttoned
his shirt and kissed down his neck
"You know cariño, there's people outside, we don't wanna embarrass ourselves do we?
"If you don't to embarrass yourself, I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up chief" you winked
at him and opened his fly, his cock was already rock hard under his jeans because of course
Javier Peña was still going commando, that was a habit he would probably never abandon.
You got on your knees in front of him, a clear sign of submission and licked your lips at the
sight of his thick cock growing harder in your hands. You took it by the base, moving it up
and down and feeling it throbbing, you ran your tongue through his tip, tasting him and
savoring his whimpers. Javier Peña could never resist a blowjob.
"Fuck Javi, do you know how much I love your fucking cock?" You asked and felt as he
wrapped his hand around your hair pulling it and clenching his jaw "oh I know it mi amor,
porque eres mi puta" he smirked and you nodded with innocent eyes before sinking your
head onto his lap, taking his length as long as you could down your throat and using your
hands to stroke his base and caress his balls. You bobbed your head up and down, giving your
husband head, just as his employees were a few meters away from the two of you, the way
Javi was holding back his moans so he wouldn't be loud, you just loved the affect you had on
him, he was still yours, just as you were his and neither of you could fucking resist each
other.
When you felt his balls quivering under your touch, you knew he was close, it was just a
matter of time for Javi to reach his bliss, so you fastened your pace, resting your hands on his
thighs which shook slightly the moment his orgasm came and you welcomed his load into
your mouth swallowing it like the obedient good wife you were.
Javi panted, his hands left your hair and gripped the sides of his chair, looking down at you
and helping you up, pulling your body towards his and having you sitting on his lap. He
hungrily kissed you, tasting himself in your lips, at the same time he calmed down. His
fingers worked the straps of your gown down your shoulders and the thin cloth fell, revealing
your nakedness underneath.
"Fuck cariño, you're gonna kill me, you know that?" He whispered against your skin, his lips
touching your shoulder, trailing a path of affection that led to your breasts. You whimpered at
the feeling of his tongue toying with your nipples, one at a time, whereas his fingers found
their way down your core, spreading your soaked pussy lips apart and gently brushing against
your clit. You closed your eyes at his touch, your knees still weak for Javier no matter if the
years had passed and if you were a married couple, he still had the same effect on you as he
did when he was just the forbidden fruit from Colombia.
The way you whimpered with pleasure caused his cock to go rock hard in no time, his fingers
deep in your pussy now, seeing how prepared you were for him, so Javi lifted you up and
bent you over his desk, sliding his cock into you, making you take him inch by inch as he
fucked you in his police station. He played with your clit at the same place he moved his hips
in sync with yours, your walls squeezing him and the sounds of skin slapping against skin
were almost as obscene as the muffled pleasure sounds that came from the two of you. It
didn't take long for you to cum and milking his cock at the same time, you welcomed the
second load of his thick cum inside, clenching your pussy so you'd keep all of it in there.
Perhaps you would also welcome baby Peña number three after that, or maybe not; it didn't
really matter, you and Javi were already happy, with another kid or not.
•••
By noon, you were back home; of course you didn't want to leave Javi, but you had to, after
all, he needed to work or pretend he was working, while he recovered from your morning
round in his office. Besides, you two would have more time together in the evening, and by
then, the kids also needed their mom, especially Gabe who was going through his teething
phase. It was no secret Gabe was a mama's boy and Analuz was a daddy girl, of course your
daughter loved you as much as you loved her, but no one could ever top Javier in her little
heart; her grandpa Chucho came closer, as he was all the time spoiling her and doing
anything she wanted, he'd loved his grandkids ever since they were tiny seeds in your womb,
feeling happy and proud of the man his son became because of you.
From the moment Analuz heard the engine of your car, she rushed outside, a bolt of
excitement running through her little body in hopes to see her daddy arriving, she hoped
you'd bring him for lunch.
"Mommy!!!" She squealed and ran through the grass to meet you once you got out of the car,
and you just admired your beautiful daughter. Whenever she ran freely through the green
fields she did look like a butterfly, no wonder Javi would constantly call her 'mariposa'. She
hugged you tight but her eyes wandered all over the place, in hopes to see her daddy and her
disappointed face when she realized he wouldn't come for lunch, was adorable. If you had a
camera, you would've snapped a picture right there, as you were sure Javi's heart would burst
with love and pride to see his little mariposa so sad he wasn't around.
"I'm sorry baby, daddy is busy and he isn't coming for lunch today… did you behave well
with auntie Adelaide?" Analuz nodded with her honest, beautiful brown eyes. She had so
much from her dad, it was impressive. The way she sometimes pouted or how she tilted her
head, it was all Javi.
"And what about Gabe?"
"Gabe cwied, mommy!" She informed quickly. Analuz had trouble saying her Rs, something
common for her age which Javi confessed to you he was scared to death the day she would be
able to pronounce it correctly, because that would mean his mariposita was growing up.
You nodded and picked her up, walking back inside with her and being greeted by Chucho
"hey mijita! All this came up through the mail for you" he pointed at the box and the couple
of letters on the table as he extended his arms for his granddaughter, who of course, didn't
hesitate in going with her grandpa.
You nodded at him and promised you'd be right back, wanting to take a look at your baby boy
first, your heart yearning for your kids, first your beautiful mariposa, and then your sweet
Gabe. You walked into his room and found him there, sleeping peacefully in his crib, your
heart clenched in your chest just at the realization of how much you loved him, he was such a
sweet and well-behaved baby, he never fussed or cried unless he was in pain, and those his
cheeks were reddish, you touched his soft face and breathed relieved he wasn't sick anymore.
You grabbed his chubby hand and pecked it gently, not wanting to disturb your son from his
peaceful sleep.
As you returned to the kitchen, you could listen to Analuz and Chucho, he held her, telling
her all about the fun afternoon they would have along with auntie Adelaide, but she only
asked about her daddy. You knew Javier would be so cocky if he heard her asking for him so
much.
"So are these for me?" You asked as you saw some letters and a box over the table, seeing the
red, beautiful box had a card signed by your husband and something just told you you would
avoid any embarrassment if you opened it by yourself. Analuz was curiously watching it,
asking you if it was a box of chocolates, eager to have one, but it was pretty obvious that
coming from Javi, it wasn't anything appropriate for a toddler, however, you frowned
"Why are you asking about chocolate? You've never had any…" you always made sure to
keep your kids' eating habits as healthy as possible. Tiny kids didn't need sweets if they had
fruits, but at daughter's guilty silence, you could see Chucho cleared his throat
"I'm sorry mijita, I was eating a bar the other day and she walked on me and I couldn't say
no… it was just a tiny piece of chocolate but if it makes it any better, my Javi was also crazy
about chocolate since he was a niñito así"
A part of you felt quite frustrated at how Chucho simply did anything your daughter wanted,
even if sometimes he disregarded your instructions, he didn't do it on purpose or to piss you
off, of course, he just wanted to make Analuz happy and you couldn't take that away from
him, not after how amazing he'd been to you and how her birth helped him and Javier to get
closer again, like they hadn't been ever since your husband was a child.
"It's okay Don Chucho, I just prefer Analuz eating fruits because it's better for her health, but
a tiny piece of chocolate sometimes should be fine" you smiled at him, showing you weren't
angry "under one condition of course: that you bring me some chocolate too" you winked at
the older man who laughed out loud and Analuz giggled happily "you'we silly mommy" she
said reaching for you and hugging you gently, your mariposa just had the power to melt
everyone's heart.
Chucho cleared his throat again and looked at you "so mijita, I was thinking about taking
your aunt Adelaide and Analuz for an ice cream at that place near the police station, is that
okay with you?"
You held back your laughter and nodded with a sweet smile. Chucho had smoothly planned
out a date with your aunt, as he could simply leave Analuz with her dad and spend time alone
with your aunt. There was no denying the Peña charm ran in the family. You agreed to his
plan, and though Analuz was immediately overly excited about the ice cream and visiting her
daddy at work, you let her grandpa deal with it, taking your box and your mail to your
bedroom.
You placed them carefully on the bed and you were about to start it by the beautiful box your
husband sent to you, when one of the envelopes caught your attention: the stamps were from
Colombia, which was extremely odd as you hadn't spoken to anyone from there since you left
everything behind and went after your happiness in Laredo. Curiosity immediately caught
your attention and you opened the envelope, taking the letter in hand and reading it as
quickly as you could, you recognized the handwriting before you could even finish the first
sentence and the confusion as to why your ex-boyfriend Manuel Herrera had sent you a letter
was increasing, he was decisive for you to leave Colombia and go after Javier, he, out of
everyone, advised you to seek your happiness, following your heart, even after you'd been
such a bad girlfriend to him. You didn't regret any part of your story with Javi, you were just
meant to be and no one could fight that, but you know some things the two of you should've
handled better, and Manu was definitely one of them. You shook your head trying to keep the
guilt away and concentrated on what he had to say, reading about how his life had been in the
last four years you hadn't seen each other and how things had changed. He'd congratulated
you on giving birth to your two children, apologized for always saying Javier would never be
a good husband to you, and broke the news that he and Colleen - the receptionist you hated
and also never kept her eyes off Peña - were about to get married and already had a bun in the
oven. You laughed out loud at that information, thinking of how amusing life could really be.
It was funny how things fell into the right place without much effort and eventually everyone
found their own way. You couldn't wait to tell Javi that he would find it as amusing as you
did, and you made a mental note to write back to Manu sometime and wish him well in his
new life.
Setting aside the letter, you focused on the beautiful box you'd received from your husband,
you thought of Colombia again and how he would leave small chocolates or other stuff here
and there on your desk and how he got you flowers for your first date, you would never
exchange the life you had for anything else in the world at all, but you'd be lying if you didn't
say you missed those times, the flirting, the butterfly in your stomach, the desperate touches
and even the uncertainty about your future made you a little nostalgic even if it didn't make
any sense. Not being able to wait any longer, you just opened the box once for all, finding a
gorgeous pair of blood red lingerie. It was just so Javi you blushed like a schoolgirl, as your
fingers ran through the sophisticated fabric, seeing the beautiful sparkly details and even if
your husband had fucked you raw against his work desk just a couple of hours before, you
felt the wetness pooling in your underwear. The little note he'd sent with the present just told
you to wear it that night for him, he couldn't wait to spend some time away with you.
•••
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Analuz's happy squeals filled the police station the moment
Chucho stepped inside and let go of her little hand. She'd been there so many times already,
everyone at the station was used to the little girl always looking for her daddy. Javier was
doing some paperwork, nose buried in files with a pen in his hand when he heard his
daughter's lovely voice and stopped everything he was doing to open the door to her. His
heart skipping a beat at her presence and he would never imagine that someday in his life he
would experience the purest kind of love anyone could ever do: their kids' love. Analuz had
been his little girl since she was born, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. It was
funny for anyone who could see them, how Javier turned into a completely different person
around his kids. He wasn't a former DEA agent and current chief of police anymore, he was
just daddy. He was the father who would keep his daughter all the time with him, who would
do anything she wanted, would play with her and make her feel like the luckiest little girl in
the world. He watched her running towards him, like a beautiful little mariposa flying and
opened his arms, welcoming her small body into a tight hug, lifting her up and resting his
forehead against hers. His daughter was so gorgeous, being a tiny version of her equality
gorgeous mommy, Javi never got tired of reminding you how alike the two of you were and
how beautiful his girls are, he never thought he would be this happy before but here it was:
his perfect life.
Analuz giggled, wrapping her arms around her daddy's neck and snuggling him
"Miss you daddy!" She said sweetly, not letting go of him at all. "Mommy is home, painting
nails wed" she informed her dad and Javi approved your choice of color internally, he was
dying to see your nails matching your lingerie later, but that would be something for him to
think of later, because at that moment, he sat down, letting his beautiful Analuz get
comfortable in his lap and grab the first pen and paper she could see and began drawing for
him. When he worked in Colombia, he very often spotted kids' drawings on other agents'
desk and he never got why they were so proud of that bunch of incoherent lines scribbled all
over the paper, now he just couldn't get himself to throw away any of Analuz's drawings, they
seemed so precious to him, even if they didn't make sense, he knew his beautiful daughter
just put a lot of effort into them, so the solution was simple: Javi got one of those empty
evidence boxes and placed it by his desk, always keeping her drawings there, that way he
could always take a look at them when he missed his sweet mariposa during the day. And he
already had another box sorted for Gabe too, knowing it was just a matter of time before he
started experimenting with his papers and crayons.
"Whewe mommy and daddy going tonight?" Analuz raised her head from her drawing and
looked at Javi curiously, she'd overheard grandpa Chucho telling auntie Adelaide about how
her parents would have a date even if she didn't know what it was.
"Daddy is taking mommy dancing, because today is our anniversary, a few years ago on this
day, daddy married your mommy in a beautiful party on our ranch and you were already
there!" Her brown eyes widened in excitement to know that information though she couldn't
remember it "but you were a tiny little seed in mommy's tummy… but I loved you just the
same" and then former Agent Peña went so soft, especially when Analuz dropped her pen and
wrapped her skinny arms around his neck. Sometimes Javi felt his heart would burst with
love, there wasn't any other explanation to it, it was simple, pure and real love.
"I wanna dance too, daddy!!!" She asked excitedly and Javi grinned, standing up from his
chair and placing his daughter's small feet on top of his, at the same time he held both hands
"then follow daddy's steps like this…" he calmly explained as he began taking some dance
steps to an inexistent song, but it didn't matter, he smiled at how happy she got, and suddenly
Javi thought of how things would be in a few more years, he thought of his daughter's first
dance in her quinceñera and wondered if she would still be close to him; he really hoped so,
because he didn't know what he would do with himself if his mariposita distanced herself
from him just like Javi had done with his own father, he felt a wave of melancholy and
immediately pulled Analuz up, hugging her as tight as possible, listening to her happy giggles
and feeling his pain slowly going away. A knock on the door interrupted them when officer
Danny opened it
"Excuse me, chief… we just listened in the radio a big storm is coming and the mayor is
recommending everyone to go home because there's risk of flooding the roads"
Javi nodded and sighed. Storms were never good and he knew the next day would bring them
a lot of work, but for the moment, he got a free pass to go home earlier to his wife and
daughter.
"Alright, if my dad stops by, tell him we went home"
•••
By the time it took Javi to drive home, the weather had changed completely; the beautiful,
sunny day darkened in a matter of minutes, seeming the mid-afternoon had quickly turned
into night and the first raindrops hit the ground almost at the same time he parked his truck
and helped Analuz out of her seatbelt. He held her against his body and the two of them
rushed inside, avoiding being caught by the rain. He sighed as he didn't see Chucho's truck
and felt worried about his dad, but you immediately rushed to see your husband and your
daughter. Gabe was now fully awake in your arms, his fever had finally broken and he was
back to being the dweet, docile little baby boy you all were used to.
"Gabe!!" Analuz squealed excitedly to see her baby brother, she loved playing with him and
he gave her a big gummy smile. Javi placed his little mariposa down and picked his son,
holding him against his chest and kissing all over his chubby cheeks, before getting you with
a peck on the lips
"Chucho called, he's with aunt Adelaide and they both went to your uncle's ranch, it was
closer and they have shelter to wait for the storm to end, if it doesn't, they'll sleep there" you
raised your eyebrow and Javi gave you a knowing nod, the two of you thinking exactly the
same but not saying it out loud because of the kids, but yeah, probably something would
happen between his dad and your aunt.
"I'm very sorry cariño, but I don't think we'll be able to go out tonight, I know you were
looking forward to celebrating our anniversary…"
You shook your head and smiled "it's not your fault Javi, it's okay, we can't go out, but we'll
stay home, with our family, we'll celebrate it with our beautiful kids" you assured him,
nuzzling Gabe's cheek and making him giggle.
"Let me figure something out for dinner, my love, can you watch the kids?" You asked but
you knew it wasn't even necessary, Javi was a great dad and he often watched the kids
because he liked to, he enjoyed spending time and playing with them, and not simply because
he had to. Of course, going out would be nice, but eventually, you enjoyed the fact you had
the house for your husband and yourself, the kids wouldn't take long to fall asleep, and you
two could enjoy the time to be together without any interruptions or the need to watch
ourselves all the time.
Javi sat on the carpet with his kids, even if back protested against it, he just made sure to be
there, holding them close and helping them playing with their own toys - Analuz loved her
dolls and Gabe loved blocks - he just gave them attention, spending a precious time with
them while the rain poured outside. You made your family some dinner and of course it
wasn't a special menu like you figured you would have with Javi if you had gone out, but you
also knew you would have other opportunities for that, it was nobody's fault, the weather
could be unpredictable at times and no one could fight against the nature. After everyone had
eaten and he'd helped you with the dishes, you sat on the couch with Javi and the kids, the
four of you snuggling with each other, as the kids played happily with each other and you
admired your husband. He was so handsome, just like the first time you got to Colombia and
met the infamous Agent Peña, you couldn't wrap your head around the fact he was simply
gorgeously handsome and just a few years later, he would be yours and no one else's.
At the first sign of the kids being sleepy, you took Gabe and Javi took Analuz, taking them to
their shared bedroom. You placing your baby boy in the crib and Javi his little mariposa in
bed. Gabe fell asleep easily, just like every night he was tucked in, wrapped in warm blankets
and a couple of soft words from his mommy and he was happily off to dreamland. Analuz, on
the other hand, could only fall asleep if her daddy told her a story, which he patiently did, no
matter how tired he was, he would keep himself awake and tell her whichever stories she
wanted to hear; fairies, princesses, pirates, spaceships or anything at all, he would make it up
for her.
You wished your daughter goodnight and excused yourself, leaving father and daughter alone
in the bedroom, Javi's hand stroked her small face, earning a lovely smile from her
"I love you daddy" she said between yawns and held his hand with her tiny one
"I love you too, mariposa, so much…" he pecked her forehead and watched as Analuz closed
her little eyes and joined her brother in dreamland, the two of them being so safe and loved in
the Peña family.
You turned around to see Javi walking into your living room, he had no right to look that
devilish handsome in a pink shirt, but there he was: two buttons undone, strong arms exposed
and tight jeans, just like your hot Colombian summer dream was. You bit your lips and
smiled at him, you'd applied some red lipstick, matching your nails and the red gown you put
on, over the gorgeous pair of lingerie he'd gifted you. He was dominated by the sight in front
of him, you looked like a walking sin and it was all for him; he was a lucky bastard and
nothing would ever change that. Taking a step closer, he placed his hands on your waist,
pulling you closer and licking his lips at the sight of you;
"Fuck me cariño… How can you walk around being so goddamn gorgeous all the time?" His
voice wasn't much more than a low groan and he lowered himself enough to nuzzle your
cleavage, his lips ghosting over your skin. You had always looked incredible to him, but he
couldn't deny how much he loved your breasts after you got pregnant, it simply drove him
mad.
Javi's soft touches went for your neck, at the same time you let out a shaky breath, that man
knowing his shit and how to play you.
"I'm sorry our plans got ruined, I really wanted to have taken you out, I'm not complaining
about your sexy attire here…" he pointed at your body covered by some tempting pieces of
cloth "but I wanted to take you out, you spend a lot of time taking care of the house, the kids,
of me… I wanted you to have fun" he sighed and gave you the puppy eyes as another thunder
broke outside.
"It's not your fault the worst storm to hit Laredo in years happened to be on our anniversary
day, Javi… besides, you got to come home earlier, we spent some nice time with our kids and
the cherry on top is that the grown-ups are out and we have the house all for ourselves" you
winked and the two of you burst out laughing. You noticed Javi swayed your hips at an
imaginary step, and followed it shyly, dancing to the sound of rain.
"But just out of curiosity, where would you take me?"
"I'd take you out for dinner of course, maybe that steakhouse we like or the Italian place, it
would be your call, hermosa… then I'd take you out to dance, we would dance some bolero
and then I'd take you to the nice hotel, get ourselves a room and rail you into morning light"
You chuckled at Javi's sentence, seeing he had planned everything perfectly for that night, it
would have been definitely special, you weren't doubting that, but you also likes how it ended
up, just the two of you, intimate and cozy like it had always been, since the beginning of your
relationship.
"Well, the last part we can still make it happen, chief Peña… you can rail me for as long as
can take me" you teased and Javi's hand immediately went down on your ass, giving you a
well-deserved swat and making you squeak "in fact, I'm all ready for it, you are the one who
looks overdressed…" you undid another button of his shirt "but I'm a little curious: why go
out to dance?"
"I realized I was a bad boyfriend and never took you out to dance while we were in
Colombia, there were so many bars you wanted to have gone and we never did…"
"You were never a bad boyfriend, Javi, never. We just didn't have time, maybe because we
dated for five minutes before getting married and having kids" the two of you chuckled again
at your own inside joke "you've always been the best boyfriend in the world, you were so
good at it I ended up marrying you"
"Do you ever miss it? Colombia, I mean? How we were back then, how things were horrible
at work, but how good we were, how there used to be only you and me in the world once we
got inside our apartment…" he asked you curiously and you nodded, surprised to see Javi
held as much nostalgia as you did in your hearts.
"I do… it feels it happened ages ago, we were so young back then… well, I know it's only
been what, four? Five years we've met? But it was a marriage and two babies ago, and we
were very different people, I miss it too, as much as I love our family, it feels kind of sad
knowing these special moments won't ever come back right? I mean, this moment right here,
us dancing to nothing in our living room with a baby and a toddler sleeping peacefully in the
next room will only be a sweet memory in a few years and sometimes that makes me sad
becau-"
Javi kissed you. He knew how you had a habit of overthinking things and he didn't want it to
make you upset when you two were having a special moment together. He held you tight, as
if his life depended on it and though he understood perfectly what you meant, he knew you
two couldn't let the fear of time passing by and changing your lives become bigger than the
joy you felt in the present. He knew you two would be together for life and you had a
beautiful family, perhaps another baby could come anytime, or not, it didn't matter because
you were happy as long as you had each other.
"Mi amor, I was thinking… would you like to come back? To Colombia, like on vacation?
We have some extra cash and maybe the kids would enjoy it too, visiting a different country,
trying new food?"
"Do you mean, Bogota?"
"Well, I was thinking of Cartagena, with the beaches, the beautiful landscape… maybe we
could even renew our vows?"
"I'd like that, Javi… I really would, going back to the place where you became my Javi and
showing our kids that"
"Good then, Mrs.Peña, I can't wait"
That night Javi took you to bed, like many other nights you'd spent together, but instead of
railing you like he said he would, he made love to you, just like it happened on your wedding
day. He treated you like a delicate flower, with so much love, affection and appreciation, he
showed you how much he adored you, your body, your touch, your taste, everything about
you. You were his wife, the love of his life, the mother of his precious, beautiful children and
all he could do was to thank God, or destiny, or whoever was in charge of giving that
undeserving man so much joy and happiness in life. When you were more than satisfied,
being brought to your orgasm for the fifth time that night, he allowed himself to finish inside
of you, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours, mumbling love words under
his breath. He panted as beads of sweat formed on his forehead, your bodies pressed tight
against each other's. Javier rolled on his back and pulled you to him, you resting against his
chest, letting out a tired but satisfied sigh as you listened to his heartbeat. You never wanted
any other kind of life, looking back at all the good and bad you went with Javier, you knew
you wouldn't change one single thing, because that was what led you and Javier to what you
had now, a marriage full of love and a gorgeous family.
In the middle of the night, you woke up with Analuz poking your side. She wanted to tell you
Gabe woke up with a thunder and started crying, but before you could even get up, Javier
was already on it, walking to the kids' room and picking up his son. He checked if Gabe
needed a diaper change, but he was fine; perhaps he just needed a snuggle. He pressed his son
against his chest gently and pecked his forehead, the baby sniffed and buried his face into the
crook of his daddy, and by the time Javier was back to bed, Analuz was already tucked into it,
so warm. You chuckled at your husband and helped him get under the blankets. It didn't take
long for Javi to fall asleep with the kids and you stayed awake a little longer, admiring them.
The three of them were so peaceful at that moment, and you closed your eyes, joining your
family in the sweet slumber, knowing once you woke up, they'd be there for you.
You and Javi weren't the best people in the world, you've had your share of doing bad things
and hurting people's feelings, but you were just human beings with flaws and qualities, and
you found love in each other, both of you lost at first, but things fell into the right place even
if it took a while, and soon enough it all made sense, you and Javi were meant to be and
nothing could ever keep the two of you apart.
Your family and was the best thing you had and you deserved all the happiness you got.
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