emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 1

Barbara Bleiman, co-editor emagazine

We chose the opening of The Rainbow thinking that it was a wonderfully rich piece of
narra9ve, with complexi9es that we hoped A Level students would enjoy teasing out. Our
hopes proved to be very well-founded. There was a larger than ever entry, and the thinking
and wri9ng about the text was of a very high standard. It was probably, overall, the best set
of entries from A Level students that we have ever seen.
Why do I say this? Well, one interes9ng aspect was the willingness of students to come up
with a sustained interpreta9on that allowed for subtlety. There was no ‘it could be this…it
could be that…it could be something else’ but rather a serious aIempt to understand what
was at stake in the extract with a degree of thoughJul tenta9veness in probing the text and
coming to these conclusions. Students also recognised that this was the opening of a narra9ve
text and explored the wri9ng in rela9on to that - something that we haven’t always seen in
the past.
Another important aspect was the quality of the wri9ng. For the first 9me in many
compe99ons, it was quite rare for me to see students throwing in terminology for its own
sake, or spoOng literary features and wri9ng about them without any sense of their
significance. Students this year generally wrote about things that were genuinely interes9ng
and important in the text. They were addressing the key issues in the narra9ve opening and
coming up with an authen9c and plausible set of responses. It was par9cularly pleasing to see
how well students grappled with the contrasts between the representa9on of the men and
women and the significance of such details as the men looking down at the land and the
women looking outwards towards a world beyond, or the way Lawrence suggested the men’s
in9mate rela9onship with farming and with the natural world.
Where students used terminology, it was generally used appropriately and was well-judged,
and there were only rare examples of students over-using signpos9ng words like
‘thus…therefore…in addi9on…moreover…on the other hand…’ and so on. These, if over-used,
can make the wri9ng feel a bit formulaic and dull. The wri9ng was impressively controlled,
lively and expressive.
So, many congratula9ons to all of you who entered – we could have happily shortlisted many
more of you. And thank you for making the job of siQing through the entry to come up with a
shortlist for Nicolas Tredell such a great pleasure!
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 2

Professor Nicolas Tredell

It was both enjoyable and instruc9ve to read, and re-read, the fourteen shortlisted entries. All
of them were impressive, giving every indica9on that hard work and thought had been put
into them. They are a tribute to the students who wrote them and to their teachers. It may be
helpful here to offer some more general observa9ons derived from them that may serve as
guidance for future exercises of this kind.
All the entries showed a capacity to move between the par9cular and the general, between
analysis of a significant stylis9c or thema9c feature and the broader implica9ons of the
passage. It is important, of course, to keep those broader implica9ons anchored to the specific
details of a passage and not to allow one’s interpreta9on to become too abstract and broad.
It is also important to keep the focus on the passage under discussion; with this passage it is
appropriate, given its style, to refer to the Bible and the Book of Common Prayer, but in some
cases quota9ons from and men9ons of other texts, by Lawrence or others, were introduced.
This is usually interes9ng and can be effec9ve, but it requires circumspec9on, since it may not
always be easy to establish the relevance of the quote or text and it can take up space and
9me that could be bestowed on discussion of the passage itself. It may be useful here to bear
in mind the dis9nc9on between a close reading analysis and an essay; in an essay, it is possible
and permissible to range more widely and reference a range of other texts; in a close reading
analysis it can be a distrac9on.
It can also be effec9ve to draw on the technical vocabulary of literary cri9cism to discuss
stylis9c and structural features in a close reading analysis, but again it requires
circumspec9on. There is a rich repertoire of such terms available; in many instances, the
ancient Greeks had a word for it – for instance, anagnorisis [ἀναγνώρισις], meaning a sudden
recogni9on such as Pip experiences in Dickens’s Great Expecta9ons (1861) when he realizes
that his benefactor is not Miss Havisham but the convict Abel Magwitch; there are also terms
drawn from other languages that have entered into English – “sonnet” from the Italian
sonneto [liIle song], Bildungsroman [forma9on novel] from the German for a novel that
traces its protagonist’s educa9on by life. In using them, however, it is important to be sure
that one has fully grasped their meaning, which is not always a straighJorward process, and
that they are the most concise and fiOng words for the stylis9c or structural feature in
ques9on.
The entries were generally well-wriIen but occasionally there was some awkward phrasing.
One way to improve this (which you may already use) is to read it aloud to some sympathe9c
ear or to record it on a mobile phone or PC and then listen to it yourself. In the acts of reading
aloud and listening, awkward locu9ons can become more apparent, and one can devise ways
to remedy them. Obviously, this would not be possible in a silent examina9on room but it
could help to hone one’s style for exam use.
Close reading is both intellectually exci9ng and useful. The law, poli9cs, medicine and many
other professions are likely to demand, at 9mes, close reading skills. Such skills also remain
the basis of the study, teaching and enjoyment of literature.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 3

The Winner
Toby Phelps, Eton College
DH Lawrence uses sexualised, biblical and philosophical ideas to explain the differences between the
men and the women. The men are seen as primal creatures who feel a natural <e to the land on which
they work. However, the women want to ‘discover what was beyond’. They are dissa<sfied with the
comfort of the land and want to embrace the change happening in the world around them.
As Lawrence describes the men’s rela<onship with the land, he uses sexual imagery to characterise
the deep connec<on, the most per<nent example being the descrip<on of the ‘body of the men’ being
‘impregnated with the day’. Through this gender inversion, Lawrence challenges the misogynis<c idea
that men can exert dominance over women sexually and instead gives this gender role to the land to
demonstrate its power over the men. The men also share a strong ‘blood in<macy’ with the land which
draws them to it. There is a symbio<c rela<onship between the men and the land where men are given
comfort and peace while the land flourishes from the hard work provided by the men. The men are
comforted by this and for them, 'it was enough'. However, at the end of the day, 'the brains were inert'.
The land exercises such dominance over the men that they are leG in a state of unconsciousness,
ignorant to the changing world around them.
The opening to Lawrence’s The Rainbow is oGen described as biblical in its style, however it is also
relevant to how Lawrence portrays his characters; namely the men as Adam and the women as Eve,
although even the Marsh farm with its ‘meadows’ and ‘alder trees’ mirrors the Garden of Eden. In the
Old Testament before the fall, Adam and Eve could be argued to be unconscious beings, ac<ng
perfectly in a perfect world and showered in comfort. However, just like Eve, the women search for
something more and look to push the boundaries of their perfect world. Eve eats the apple due to
wan<ng to be something more than what she currently is and similarly the women in this passage look
to something ‘unknown’ and ‘far off’ which draws them and becomes their ‘deepest desire’.
The women are not overcome by this ‘blood in<macy’ and (metaphorical) sexual dominance which
the land exerts. Their self-consciousness prevails over their unconscious bond with nature. Lawrence
explains that the women are not blinded by the ‘intercourse of farm-life’ and are instead ‘aware’ of
the ‘world speaking’. The personifica<on of the world not only demonstrates its power, but also the
nature of the men and women. The men’s sexual rela<onship with nature shows their simplicity while
the women are ‘awake’ and listen to what the world is telling them. This sensibility and ambi<on sets
them apart from the men and, par<ally through the semblance to the story of original sin, creates
tension as to whether this ambi<on for a ‘far-off world’ will prove to be brave or reckless.

Judge’s Comment
This richly packed entry explores, with relevant example and quota<on, the range of perspec<ves -
sexual, biblical, philosophical – in the Lawrence passage. Its special strength is its incorpora<on and
development of two key aspects of the passage – its “gender inversion” and its biblical resonances. It
registers the reversal of the conven<onal rela<ons of dominance and submission, ac<vity and
passiveness, between men and women, but argues for a further “gender inversion” between the men
and the land; it is the land, partly feminized but potent, which has “power over the men”, giving them
“comfort and peace while [it] flourishes from [their] hard work”. The entry acknowledges that the style
of the passage is oGen called “biblical” but contends that the characteriza<ons of the men and women
also have biblical resonances, though of a heterodox kind; they imply that Eve is an agent of impending
libera<on rather than catastrophe, who becomes aware before Adam does of a wider world beyond
the Garden of Eden, just as the Brangwen women are aware of a wider world beyond Marsh Farm. The
entry then concludes by iden<fying the narra<ve “tension” the end of the passage creates as to the
possible results of the women’s aspira<on.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 4

Runner-up
Cassia Stu>ard, St Paul's Girls' School
From the outset of DH Lawrence’s extract, the Brangwens are inseparable from the physical landscape
of Marsh Farm. Whilst the landscape is at first presented as <melessly unchanged, the ‘different’ men
and women point to the widening divide between tradi<onal labour and modernisa<on.
Ini<ally, Lawrence presents the existence of both the landscape and Brangwen men as stable. Just as
the men are ‘slow-speaking’, the landscape operates with a similarly steadied pace of movement as
the river ‘twisted sluggishly’ and the houses ‘climbed assiduously’. Even when ‘the weather is
changing’, the process happens in ‘stages’ with a seemingly plannable predictability, just as the men’s
eyes remain the same colour ‘blue’ whether angry or laughing. This ‘kind of surety’ is dependably
trustworthy and ensures that the landscape can be described in the past con<nuous tense using the
construct of ‘there were always children’. There is an asser<ve confidence in the tradi<onal way-of-
life; the family’s farming legacy appears secure in the safety of ‘ample’ produce (both of crops and
offspring).
The Brangwens’ most dis<nc<ve feature is their dedica<on to ‘working hard’. The men appear united
with the landscape through shared struggle and toil, as their ‘heaving of their horses’ mirrors when
the earth itself also ‘heaved’. Lawrence values the men’s labour; their sweat is glorified as ‘lustre’ and
compared to the shine of a precious metal. The men benefit from their animals in an ‘interrelat[ed]’
dependent rela<onship; their work is as essen<al as a ‘pulse’, and similarly rhythmic and repe<<ve.
The men become associated with this baseness of existence, as they deal with the primal and simplis<c
extremes of ‘pain and death’ and are concerned only with the pillars of agriculture. These
fundamentals are described in the easily comprehensible monosyllabic nouns of ‘earth and sky and
beast and green plants’. Lawrence uses the simple gramma<cal construc<on to slow the pace of the
sentence so we have to read with the same dogged determina<on as the men, leaning into the
repe<<on of words that take on the rhythmic ‘pulse’ of ploughing
Although the men’s work is repe<<ve and laborious, it is vital because it cul<vates fer<lity. Copula<on
is implied through descrip<ons of the cows’ reproduc<ve organs of ‘udder[s]’ and ‘teats’; the ‘breasts
and bowels’ of the soil; and the ‘nakedness’ of Autumn. The land takes on the presence of a body
bearing new life and the offspring of ‘young corn’ as its cycle revolves around seasons and celes<al
‘intercourse between heaven and Earth’. However, whilst the men look backwards to a tradi<onal
agricultural society cons<tuted of ‘farm-buildings and fields’, the women in their houses instead look
towards features of an aspira<onal modern civilisa<on. In the women’s outlook, the urban trademarks
of the ‘road’, ‘Church’ and ‘hall’ complete with ‘ci<es and governments’ replace the outdated ‘farm-
buildings. The Brangwens’ society shiGs towards modernity as impercep<bly as the slow changes to
the landscape (and ‘sluggish’ progress of the river Erewash). Whereas the men look to the inward
sensuality of their ‘pulse’ and ‘blood’, the women begin to look ‘outwards’ (a word which Lawrence
empha<cally repeats) to the changing ‘world at large’.

Judge’s Comment
This entry iden<fies the “shared struggle and toil” of the men’s farm work the passage evokes and its
importance because “it cul<vates fer<lity.” Style is frui`ully discussed, for example with the sugges<on
that the pace of a sentence may mimic the ac<on it describes so that the reader is “leaning into the
repe<<on of words that take on the rhythmic ‘pulse’ of ploughing”. The entry encapsulates a crucial
dis<nc<on between the men “look[ing] backwards to a tradi<onal agricultural society” and the women
“look[ing] towards features of an aspira<onal modern civiliza<on” and suggests how the laaer embody
a movement towards modernity.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 5

Runner-up
Oriana Hardingham, St Paul's Girls' School
Lawrence’s introduc<on of the Brangwen family, and their occupying of a myopic microcosm of rural
life, localises the universally significant fundamentals of man and woman, which Lawrence explores
and ironises through his self-conscious parallels to the Book of Genesis.
Having ‘lived for genera<ons on the Marsh Farm’, on ‘their own land’, the deep-rootedness and
entrenchment of the Brangwen family within their natural landscape is immediately established;
indeed, they become inseparable from their environment through the reflec<ons of the natural world
in their physicality: the ‘change in their eyes from… blue, lit-up laughter, to a hard blue-staring anger’
can be traced ‘through all the irresolute stages of the sky’. This deep affinity with the natural world
lends itself to the prelapsarian, almost Edenic vision Lawrence creates of the ‘liale country town’, one
which the Brangwen men are profoundly immersed in as they ‘mounted their horses, and held life
between the grip of their knees’ and ‘drew the heaving of the horses aGer their will’. And yet, despite
their communion with nature, there is a sense of the masculine scope being parochial, even limited:
they are described as having ‘brains [that] were inert, as their blood flowed heavy’ depriving them of
intellectual capacity and constric<ng them to the solely physical realm. Indeed, the idea of men as
purely physical is reflected in the overt sensuality of his depic<on of farm-life, through their ‘feeling
the pulse and body of the soil’ and ‘the cows yielded milk and pulse against the hands of the men’,
where Lawrence’s poe<c richness and incantatory repe<<on of ‘pulse’ gives the prose itself a
throbbing, rhythmic drive, furthering the sexualisa<on of the nature.
The women, conversely, display a desire for intellectual expansion, as seen in the disrup<on of the
flowing lusciousness of the prose with the frank asser<on that ‘The women were different’ (this
opposi<onal rela<onship between male and female is mirrored in other dialec<cs of the natural world,
such as ‘heaven and earth’, and the ‘rich land’ and ‘empty sky’). The depic<on of farm life becomes
restric<ve, even claustrophobic, through their ‘looking out from the heated, blind intercourse of farm-
life to the spoken world beyond’ as they ‘heard the sound in the distance, and they strained to listen.’
Progressive and visionary, yet stripped of personal iden<ty, (Lawrence first refers to ‘the women’, then
hones in on one specific, but s<ll unnamed ‘woman’) they appear mythical figures, paralleled with the
Eve archetype in their desire ‘to enlarge their own scope and range and freedom’. They suggest a
departure from the sefng’s prelapsarian idyll, yet limited parochialism, through the universal scope
of the ‘far-off world of ci<es and governments’ and ‘the ac<vity of man in the world at large’, and
indeed the whole passage feels energised with an an<cipa<on of social change and movement through
the sense of pregnancy, expectancy and regenera<on of their ‘expec<ng something unknown’ and
their ‘air of readiness for what would come to them’; much like the ‘empty sky’ which seems to
an<cipate the arrival of the rainbow itself.

Judge’s Comment
This entry starts with a bold and well-expressed claim that corresponds to the ambi<on implicit in the
Lawrence passage and catches the mixture of explora<on and irony in its biblical parallels. It iden<fies
the “entrenchment” of the Brangwen men in the landscape and suggests the prelapsarian elements
of their world. Key elements of style are noted, such as “the incantatory repe<<on of ‘pulse’”. The
entry explores the men’s limita<ons when contrasted with the women who are linked with “the Eve
archetype” and registers the expectancy and an<cipa<on of regenera<on that energizes the passage
and emerges most strongly at the end.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 6

Highly commended
Zen Nishida, King Edward VI Grammar School, Chelmsford
The Erewash twis<ng “sluggishly” through “meadows” and “alder trees”; a charming backdrop of
country houses “climbing assiduously” up to a hilltop church-tower; idyllic rural beauty, frozen in <me
and untouched by urban expansion, serves as the introduc<on to the Marsh Farm and its residents.
Referred to as one collec<ve unit, “The Brangwens” are given a myth-like status: a long dynasty of
“fresh, blond, slow-speaking people”, simple yet vigorous, prospering on their ancestral fiefdom. “The
pulse of the blood of the teats of the cows beat into the pulse of the hands of the men” employs
monosyllables and anaphora, mimicking the gentle rhythm of nature to which the Brangwens are
synchronised. Abundant sexual imagery, referring to various natural phenomena as “breast and
bowels”, “nakedness” and “intercourse”, further establishes the Brangwens as vibrant people with
in<mate knowledge of the natural world.
There are, however, clues of discomfort; their “hard blue-staring anger” seems fierce and predator-
like; the soil, which at first “clung to their feet” with “desire”, later lies “hard and unresponsive”,
evoking a strained rela<onship. Tension more clearly reveals itself when the ini<ally homogeneous
Brangwens divide into men, sifng down, “inert” and “impregnated” by the day’s work, and women,
who “moved about with surety”. The notable reversal of tradi<onal gender roles could signal growing
social decay and disparity, which becomes clearer as the men and women’s descrip<ons split into
separate paragraphs. The men display domineering, violent tendencies, such as maiming rabbits with
a “sharp knock of the hand”. They live “full and surcharged”, forever “turned to the heat”, being
presented as daring and passionate. But they are also passive and subordinate, “dazed” by and “unable
to turn round” from the sun and juxtaposed to the more “dominant and crea<ve” men in the “ac<ve
scope of man” beyond.
The women possess a ‘masculine’ quality, yearning for the greater “spoken world” of ideas and
innova<on beyond the mere physicality of life at the Marsh. Yet the daily “heated, blind intercourse of
farm-life”, indica<ng violence and submission, suggests that their bold, forward-looking desires may in
fact emerge from a reality of strict oppression.
The final image, man and woman standing back-to-back, is symbolic of division. The man, though a
strong and diligent provider, is emasculated by the men in “baale” on “the edge of the unknown”. The
woman, “strain[ing] her eyes” to watch, could conform to degrading stereotypes of female infidelity;
but she is also empowered, for she seeks to ac<vely join “the figh<ng host” of this baale, determined
to escape from perpetual taedium vitae. This summarises the curious ambiguity of the subversion of
gender roles: although it conveys strong unease, both the men and women are neither en<rely
shamed nor praised for turning towards their respec<ve, and opposite, ambi<ons. Returning to the
beginning, the sluggish river now seems more symbolic of stagnant rural habituality. The church-tower
looming over the men in the field, now associated with the “far-off world of ci<es and governments”,
perhaps foreshadows an impending transforma<on of the Brangwens’ way of life.

Judge’s Comment
This entry offers a percep<ve analysis of how the passage ini<ally presents the Brangwens as “one
collec<ve unit” but increasingly reveals the tension between the “inert” men and ac<ve women that
culminates in the “man and woman standing back-to-back”, “symbolic of division”. It iden<fies the
“ambiguity of the reversal of gender roles”, in that neither the man not the woman is wholly “shamed
nor praised”. The term “anaphora” is used accurately and appositely.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 7

Commended
Daniel Porri>, Bristol Grammar School
In this passage the beauty of family farm-life is married and contrasted with its frustra<ngly restric<ve
nature for those desiring a more ac<ve role in the shaping of society. While descrip<ons of men’s work
convey an almost spiritual connec<on between these labourers and their landscape, a suspenseful
longing is depicted in women’s ambi<ons as they look to the symbolic horizon and another level of
human experience beyond the farm.
Lawrence establishes the extract’s somewhat circular structure in the ini<al descrip<on of the church-
tower on the farm’s horizon; while the men remain merely “aware” that “something” stands beyond
them, the women of the Marsh Farm will later link the landmark to the “magic land” of “ci<es and
governments and the ac<ve scope of man”. The paragraph’s synde<c lis<ng and seman<c field of
enchantment highlight the vastness of the woman’s ambi<ons to break free from the less s<mula<ng
world of farming, but vivid descrip<ons are not saved for urban life—rather, Lawrence depicts the
Brangwen males’ contentment with this existence as the result of their understandably life-affirming
symbio<c rela<onship with the land. Corporeal imagery in rela<on to the sky and earth (“sunshine
drawn into the breast and bowels”) is mirrored in the par<cularly striking metaphor of cows’ “pulse of
blood of the teats” bea<ng into the “pulse of the hands of the men”, a phrase in turn connec<ng the
animals and men through parataxis.
The introduc<on of the Brangwen women’s ambi<on marks its significance, hal<ng the flow of mul<-
clausal descrip<ons with the short sentence “The women were different” in the second half of the
passage; the shiG in pace brought by the statement reflects the incongruity of the women’s thirst for
enrichment, going against the norm of acceptance on the farm. The narra<ve voice’s narrowing down
from “women” to “woman” near the end of the extract adds a level of in<macy to the focalisa<on,
furthering our understanding and ability to emphasise with the specified character’s dream. This
woman tries to see what “man had done in figh<ng outwards to knowledge”, the verb conno<ng
struggle and poin<ng to the baale against restric<ve ways of life already fought by those beyond the
farm. The encapsula<on of previous humanity in a singular male noun could allude to the patriarchal
frame of mind the character has internalised in a likely imbalanced society; a society enforcing passivity
on women naturally fuels the character’s desire for independent explora<on and achievement.
In balancing intensely engaging descrip<ons of the farm’s landscape and animals with depic<ons of
the rural environment’s shortcomings, Lawrence makes clear that it is not this way of life that is
inherently restric<ve, but rather the inability of the Brangwen men to cast their minds beyond it.
“Blood-in<macy” provides a level of connec<on with the planet and our origins perhaps unavailable
to the society beyond the farm—to whom the women “strain to listen”—but as long as the men “face
inwards”, their short-sightedness will not allow them to no<ce, let alone reach, the possibility of
furthering and fulfilling the growing human poten<al of their society.

Judge’s Comment
This well-argued entry is closely aaen<ve to details of language and to relevant rhetorical devices and
the meanings they support and is especially valuable for its stress on the balance the passage holds
“between intensely engaging descrip<ons of the farm’s landscape and animals” and “depic<ons of the
rural environment’s shortcomings”.
 emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 8

The following entries were also shortlisted by the emag editors and sent to Nicolas Tredell
Jasmine Benham, The Bri<sh School of Brussels
Rafferty Blake, Marlborough
Julieae Berry, Colchester Royal Grammar School
Coroico Boaomley, Waldegrave School
Olivia Church, Queens' School, Wa`ord
Eve Cumming, Barton Peveril Sixth Form College
Paola Hagen-Zanker, Godalming College
Chloe Joyce, Harris Westminster Sixth Form
Luke Roberts, Waldegrave School
emagazine Close Reading Compe//on 2024: Winning Entries & Judges’ comments 9