Everyone’s Included – Insults

Session Plan
Learning Intentions:
• To understand the impact of insults and bullying behaviour
• To recognise the role of bystanders and ways in which bystanders can
intervene

Experiences and Outcomes:

HWB 1/2/3/4-05a
I know that friendship, caring, sharing, fairness, equality and love are
important in building positive relationships. As I develop and value
relationships, I care and show respect for myself and others.

HWB 1/2/3/4-08a
I understand that people can feel alone and can be misunderstood and left
out by others. I am learning how to give appropriate support.

HWB 3/4-45a
I recognise that power can exist within relationships and can be used
positively as well as negatively.

UNCRC - Children’s Rights:

Article 2 states that children have the right to protection against
discrimination
Article 29 states that children have the right to an education which
encourages them to respect other people’s rights and values.

Success Criteria:
• I can describe how someone might feel if they are on the receiving end
of insults
• I can talk about some of the ways in which I can be an active
bystander when I am aware of someone being bullied
RSHP: Second Level
https://rshp.scot/second-level/#protectingme

GIRFEC Wellbeing Indicators:

Safe, Healthy, Respected, Responsible, Included
Preparation:
• PowerPoint slides or handout sheet of scenario/train of thought/options
• Flipchart with Agree Disagree Unsure statement (if not using slides)
• Current relevant statistics from www.respectme.org.uk

Resources:
• Projector & PowerPoint (if being used)
• Flipchart/whiteboard
• Marker pens
• Your Group Agreement created during the Introduction session
(pin/tack this up in the room)

Introduction
Welcome the group and inform them that this session will explore the
impact of insults on young people. Insulting or bullying behaviour
can make people feel hurt, threatened, frightened or left out, and
possibly contribute to other forms of abuse against others.

Share the Learning Intentions and Success Criteria for this session.

Refer to Group Agreement and ask if pupils would like to add/change

anything.

Icebreaker
The purpose of this task is for pupils to explore how they can
make someone feel good and how easily it is to affect someone’s
feelings/mood.

Ask the group to split themselves into pairs/groups of 3.

Tell them that they have a couple of minutes to tell the other
person/people in their group what they like about them. Explain the
activity by saying ‘This could be a talent they have, or an aspect of their
personality that you really like’. Each person must receive at least one
compliment.
After a couple of minutes, ask for volunteers to share with the class what
compliments they gave. Ask those who received the compliments how it
felt hearing what their friends and classmates think of them, and
flipchart/whiteboard the responses.

Scenario
Remind the class that for this session they will be bystanders to an
incident involving a friend, classmate or someone they know.

Show slide and ask for a volunteer to read the scenario.

A friend of yours frequently insults and makes fun of another boy

you know. You've never seen your friend hit the other boy, but
you wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Key Questions

Ask the group:

1. Is this realistic; is it the kind of thing that could happen?

2. Put your hand up if you feel there is something wrong with

what is happening in this scenario.
If most of the group raise their hand, before they are lowered ask them to
look around the room and see how their friends/classmates have
responded. If most don’t put their hand up at this point – return to this
question after the discussion part of the session.

3. Since we’ve agreed there’s something wrong here, what are the
red flags; that is what are the key words or phrases in the
scenario which make you think something is wrong?
Ask pupils to discuss this for 30 seconds with the person beside them,
then ask class to call them out – note the red flags down on
flipchart/whiteboard as they are called out.

4. Before sharing the next slide, ask the pupils:

As a bystander to this situation, what questions might you have?
What might you be thinking?
This can be briefly discussed in pairs or groups and then shared.
 Train of thought
Ask for a volunteer to read the following train of thought:

Why is he doing this? I feel bad about what’s happening … But at

least it’s not happening to me … Why doesn’t the other boy stand
up for himself? … Is it my place to get involved? … If I do will I be
next? … But I feel really uncomfortable when I see someone
being treated like this … What should I do?

Key Questions

Ask the group:

1. What reasons might someone give for not getting involved in
this situation?
Suggestions may include: fear, think it’s nothing to do with me, don’t
want to get into an argument, don’t want people to pick on me etc.

Agree/Disagree/Unsure
Place your agree and disagree signs at opposite sides of the room (if
applicable).

Tell the group you are going to show them a statement and they should
decide whether they agree or disagree with the statement, then go the
relevant side of the room. If they are unsure, they can stand in the
middle.

Statement 1 - Sticks and stones may break my bones but names

will never hurt me

Give a short amount of time for the group to make their choice then ask 2-
3 people in each group, without enquiring into details: Why did you
agree/disagree/Why are you unsure?

Key Questions

Ask the group:

1. Has anyone here ever been called a hurtful name or had someone
say something horrible to them? Can you remember how it felt?
You should note the feelings on flipchart/board.

2. Do you think the effects will be long lasting or just short term?
Reinforce that the effects can be long lasting. You can make use of personal
experiences if relevant.

3. What could this statement say instead to reflect the real impact
of insults?
Let group suggest alternatives, and agree a consensus – write on
flipchart/board (example: Sticks and stones may break my bones but
names can hurt for longer)

Insults – Discussion
Key Questions

Ask the group:

1. What are some of the reasons people might call someone
names?
Suggestions may include: Their appearance, their family, rumours about
what they have said or done

2. What reasons might people give to justify calling people

names?
Suggestions may include: They think it’s just a joke/just ‘banter’, the
other person shouldn’t have said/done what they did etc.

3. Apart from name-calling, how else do people make fun of

someone?
Suggestions may include: impersonating, embarrassing them,
laughing/sniggering etc.

4. How do you think the boy who is being insulted feels?

Refer to the feelings you noted earlier during the ADU activity.

5. Where are the places that people might insult someone?

Examples may include school, sports groups, youth club etc. If required,
prompt by asking: Does it always have to be face to face, how else
could this be done? Suggest that name calling takes place online/via
messaging/social media as well.

6. Does it make it any less harmful if it takes place online as

opposed to face to face?
Suggest it does not make a difference - both are equally harmful, and if
done online there is evidence of this behaviour for all to see.

7. Why might a person choose to call someone names online?

Suggestions may include: They want to embarrass them and for others to
see, because it is easier – they don’t have to see the reaction of the
person they are insulting, they may feel braver online, they don’t think of
them as a real person etc.

8. In the scenario it says “You’ve never seen your friend hit the
other boy but you wouldn’t be surprised if he did.” Do you think
insults can lead to other forms of violence? In what way?
If the name-calling goes unchallenged, or others laugh at it, your friend
might think their behaviour is okay or even funny. This might lead to
them thinking it would therefore also be okay, or even funnier, to trip that
person up or push them around.

9. In the train of thought it says “Why doesn’t the boy stand up

for himself?” Why might he choose not to stand up for himself?
Suggestions may include: He might be hurt or embarrassed and not want
to draw attention to himself, he may be lacking self-esteem or be afraid
he’ll make matters worse or be physically hurt if he challenges your
friend, he might want to pretend it doesn’t bother him even though it
does etc.
Note to staff: Learners might start to blame the victim, it’s important to
emphasise that the only person to blame is the one carrying out the
harm.

10. In the train of thought it says “If I get involved will I be

next?”. Might this stop people from helping others?
Suggestions may include: Some people are afraid of being targeted next
so choose not to draw attention to themselves, no one likes to be called
names; you don’t want to fall out with your friend; not knowing what to
do etc.

11. How is your friend’s behaviour impacting on you?

You may feel uncomfortable, annoyed, confused about what to do. He is
potentially silencing you, by making you feel you can’t speak up for fear
of being targeted next.

12. Do you think insults and name calling at school is still a

problem in Scotland?
Give current statistics from RespectMe with regards to bullying behaviour
in Scottish schools.

13. Do we have a responsibility to do something here?

14. Who do we have a responsibility to?

You may need to prompt group:
-Do we have a responsibility to the boy being insulted? Why?
Insults and bullying behaviour can have a long-lasting impact, and it’s
unfair.
-Do we have a responsibility to our friend who is insulting
someone else? Why?
Our friend needs to know this isn’t right, and that we don’t agree with
what is happening. He could get into trouble.
-Do we have a responsibility to ourselves?
We have a responsibility to keep ourselves safe, and to be able to say if
we don’t agree with something.

Explain to the group we are now going to explore some of the things we
could do in this situation.

Options
If you have time you might ask the group to consider the pros and cons
of these options in small groups first, before you discuss as a larger
group. Or consider role playing options/consequences.

OPTION 1: Do nothing. It’s none of your business.

Ask the group:

Is this an option that some might consider using?
We have already identified some of the reasons people might give for not
getting involved.
1. What might happen if you do nothing?
Responses may include: It could get worse, your friend might get into
trouble, the boy being insulted may be hurt/upset.

2. What does doing nothing say to the person who is being

insulting?
That you think what is happening is okay, that he is not supported.

3. What does doing nothing say to your friend?

That his behaviour is okay, that you agree with what is happening.

OPTION 2: Next time it happens distract your friend to stop the

behaviour.

Ask the group:

1. How could you distract your friend?
Suggestions may include: pointing out something you see, telling a funny
story, asking a question etc.

2. What might this say to your friend?

He might recognise that you don’t find the insults funny.

3. What doesn’t this option do?

It doesn’t stop it from happening again in the future.

OPTION 3: Talk to the boy who is being insulted to offer support.

Ask the group:

1. Do you think this would be an easy thing to do? When could you
talk to the boy?
Suggestions might include: next time you see him, after school, in the
next class etc.

2. How would you feel if you were upset and someone asked if you
wanted some support?
It would feel good, wouldn’t it? It’s nice to know others have recognised
something is upsetting you. Con: some people might feel embarrassed by
this option.

OPTION 4: Tell your friend you think he’s out of order.

Ask the group:

1. What might stop someone from choosing this option?
Suggestions might include: you don’t want get into an argument, you
don’t want to fall out with your friend, you don’t want to be targeted next
etc.

2. What could you do to make this option safer and easier to do?
Consider tone of voice and how/where you challenge him. Perhaps you
could tell him you don’t want him to get into trouble so he should be
careful what he says to others.

3. If you were insulting someone could you accept that your

friends might not agree with your behaviour and might challenge
it?
It is important you get the group to consider what may happen. Remind
the group that many of them agreed that this scenario was wrong and
that being a good friend is about being able to challenge, as well as
support, one another.

OPTION 5: Share with your friends what you’ve seen and discuss
what to do together.

Ask the group:

1. Why do you think that this might be a good option?
It may be safer to do something with your friends. Remind the group that
as most/all have already agreed that they see this behaviour as wrong,
their friends will most likely think this too.

2. What might happen if you did this?

Suggestions may include: Your friend might recognise that his behaviour
is wrong, and that people don’t agree with it; your friend might feel
ganged up on etc.

OPTION 6: Talk about what happened with a parent/carer, a

teacher/adult you trust and ask their advice on what to do.

Ask the group:

1. What might stop a person speaking to a teacher or someone at
home?
If required prompt: Is telling on someone always seen as a good
thing? You might hear the word ‘grass’ being used. Do you think being
called a grass might stop someone telling an adult?

2. Would telling a teacher that your friend is in trouble make you a

grass or a good friend?
Acknowledge that this might be difficult, however a friend looks out for
another friend.

3. What might happen if you did this?

Suggestions might include: It stops it going any further, your friend might
have to talk to someone about what he was doing, he might get into
trouble etc.

OPTION 7: Personal Option

Ask the group:

1. Is there anything else you could do?
Remember to explore the possible consequences for any additional
options.

Conclusion
Let the group know that as leaders, they have the opportunity to make
sure their school and community are safe, respectful and supportive.

Ask the group:

What have you learned from today’s session?
You might want to note responses on flipchart.

Reinforce key messages from discussion to include:

✓ Verbally abusing a person is wrong and hurtful.

✓ Insults can be hurtful in the long term.

✓ The effects of insults can be wide ranging and long lasting.

✓ There are a number of options we can choose from to challenge

behaviour when we don’t agree with it.

✓ We have a responsibility to help our friends and keep ourselves

safe.
 Where can I get support?
The last slide highlights places and organisations where pupils can access
support if they have been impacted by the lesson in any way or are
worried about a friend.

Ensure that in-school supports are discussed, but make pupils aware of
where they can get support outside of school, so that they have a range
of options.

You can add local supports to the slide, alongside the national ones
already included, that you feel are relevant to your community/area. You
can discuss this with your supports in school and partners also.

Leave this slide up as the lesson finishes and pupils leave.