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How to Write Concisely

The article by Jane Rosenzweig provides strategies for writing concisely, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unnecessary words and avoiding repetition. It suggests three key approaches: cutting superfluous words, reducing overlapping sentences, and focusing on the main message without prefacing it with the writer's process. By adopting these techniques, writers can create clearer and more effective communication.

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3 views

How to Write Concisely

The article by Jane Rosenzweig provides strategies for writing concisely, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unnecessary words and avoiding repetition. It suggests three key approaches: cutting superfluous words, reducing overlapping sentences, and focusing on the main message without prefacing it with the writer's process. By adopting these techniques, writers can create clearer and more effective communication.

Uploaded by

aceng.solucoes
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Business Writing

How to Write Concisely


by Jane Rosenzweig
June 17, 2022

Ohad Ben-Yoseph/Getty Images

Summary. It’s not the end of the world if you use an unnecessary word now and
then, write the occasional overlapping sentence, or tell us what you’re doing in a
sentence before you do it. But the extra words add up. In this article, the author
offers advice for how to make your... more

Whether you’re back in the office or still working remotely, you’ve


probably found yourself in more than one meeting this year that
could have been the inspiration for one of those “I survived
another meeting that should have been an email” memes. But you
have probably also read more than one email this year that should
have been … a shorter email.

If you have something complicated to say, you should always take


the space you need to say it. But when your prose is unnecessarily
wordy and repetitive, you tax your readers by asking them to
focus their attention on figuring out what you’re saying rather
than thinking about what you’re saying.

In those cases, it’s time to edit.

Although it may seem counterintuitive, writing something long


often takes less time than writing something shorter. Case in
point: The first draft of this article was 500 words longer than the
version you’re reading. Back in 1690, John Locke captured this
challenge in “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding,” of
which he noted that “to confess the truth, I am now too lazy, or
too busy to make it shorter.”

It’s hard to carve out enough time to write effectively. But even
when you only have a few minutes to edit, you can try these three
strategies to pare down your prose.

1. Delete words that don’t add anything to your sentence.


Many workplace documents are weighed down by the following
words: generally, basically, actually, kind of, really, virtually,
totally, essentially, completely, practically, literally, and just.

We’re (literally) so used to (just) writing these words we may


(actually) find that our writing sounds (totally) odd without them.
But (generally) once you get in the habit of cutting these words,
you (really) won’t miss them.

If one of these words is essential to the meaning of your sentence,


keep it! But if not, let it go. To decide whether the word should
stay or go, ask yourself these questions:

What is the word adding to your sentence?


If you cut it, does your sentence lose anything?
If you keep it, will you dilute your message?

Consider this example:

Because the pandemic completely strained our hospitals, we had


to essentially reconsider the role of telehealth in our medical
system.

To decide if I want to keep that “completely” and “essentially,” I


can ask what those words are adding to my sentence. Did the
pandemic “completely” strain our hospitals? Can they be more
strained than just … strained? Is there a difference between
“reconsidering” and “essentially reconsidering”?

What if I want to suggest that we did some reconsidering of the


role of telehealth, but we didn’t rethink everything? Does
essentially help make that point? Not really. Saying we had to
reconsider doesn’t imply we had to reconsider everything, so
essentially doesn’t help.

In this case, I can’t make the case for either the “completely” or
the “essentially.” Rather than adding to my sentence, they dilute
my message by making it less direct.

So, should you ever keep one of those words? Let’s consider this
example:

When we want to change suppliers, we generally hire an outside


firm to vet our options.
What are we trying to achieve with “generally” there? If we cut it,
do we lose anything? If your point is that we “generally” do this,
but in some cases we don’t, then you may want to keep the
“generally.” But a better solution may be to rewrite the sentence to
make that point clearer:

When we want to change suppliers, we hire an outside firm to vet


our options unless one of our partners has already vetted suppliers.

Bottom line: Keep the words you need; cut or replace the words
you don’t need.

2. Cut the overlap.


Because we figure out what we think by writing, we often repeat
ourselves as we get closer to the best version of our ideas.

Consider this example from my first draft of this article:

When we’re figuring out what we think, we tend to repeat ourselves.


Sometimes we say the same thing again because we haven’t figured
out what we want to say.

In the first sentence, I make my point. (We repeat ourselves.) In


the second sentence I elaborate on that point by adding the causal
link. (We repeat ourselves because we haven’t figured out what we
want to say.) When I revised, I was able to make that causal link
into the first sentence and cut the repetition:

Because we figure out what we think by writing, we often repeat


ourselves in early drafts.

The revised sentence is almost half the length (16 words) as the
original overlapping sentences (29 words).

To find overlapping sentences in your documents, try


highlighting repetition as you edit. Here’s an example:

Our current staffing problems have been exacerbated by a


combination of low salaries and the rising cost of housing. Because
it has become more expensive for employees to rent or buy homes in
our target cities, we are not able to attract employees with our
current salaries, which leads to staffing difficulties. (52 words)

In the first sentence, the author is making a claim: We can’t find


staff because we aren’t paying people enough to live in our area.

In the second sentence, the author repeats that claim but adds
new details. Housing costs have gone up for renters and buyers in
our target cities.

If we combine the ideas from both sentences, we end up with this


sentence:
Our current staffing problems have been exacerbated by a
combination of low salaries and the rising cost of housing for
renters and buyers in our target cities. (27 words)

This new version is much shorter.

3.sentence,
Instead just
of telling
do it. us what you’re going to do in a
Consider these two sentences:

I will now offer you three steps we should take to improve our
onboarding process. (15 words)

We should take three steps to improve our onboarding process. (10


words)

When we read the first sentence, our attention is focused on the


writer, who is about to offer us something, rather than on the
recommendations for the onboarding process. It makes sense that
writers include this kind of commentary when they draft a
document. We’re thinking about what we’re doing, and so we tell
our readers what we’re doing.

But your readers don’t necessarily need to follow the journey you
took while you were drafting the document. They just need to
know where you ended up.

Here’s another example, based on one of the sentences we looked


at above:

I want to point out that our current staffing problems have been
exacerbated by a combination of low salaries and the rising cost of
housing for renters and buyers in our target cities.

Readers will know you’re pointing out the staffing problems


because you’re the author of the document that mentions that
staffing problems. You don’t lose important information if you cut
those first few words and start with “Our current staffing
problems…”

It’s not the end of the world if you use an unnecessary word now
and then, write the occasional overlapping sentence, or tell us
what you’re doing in a sentence before you do it. But the extra
words add up. If you make a habit of using these strategies, your
writing will be shorter and sharper.

JR
Jane Rosenzweig is the Director of the
Harvard Writing Center and the author of the
newsletter Writing Hacks. Follow her on
Twitter @RosenzweigJane.

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