Machine Translated by Google

Seungwan. Seungwan opened the package and opened his mouth wide.

“Wow, sir… … .”

There was a watch that sparkled beautifully even under the bright
blue light of the cell phone. Seungwan carefully took out the watch,
which was scratch-free as if he had never worn it before, and
wrapped it around his wrist. He bent down and found the brand
name written on the case. As soon as he noticed the brand name
written on the case, he looked at Haewon, who was lying diagonally
across, with a suspicious look.

I remembered Haewon's body I'd found that afternoon and quietly

approached. I removed the blanket and gently lifted my shirt, slightly
exposing my waist. When I turned the phone around and focused
on it, numerous wounds clearly appeared. At least my back was
clean, but that doesn't mean I was okay. Seungwan's expression
grew increasingly serious. Faint marks, as if he'd been hit hard with
a wide object, covered his back.

Seungwan looked at the clock, Haewon's back, and her soft face,
then sighed. Is there a reason why she was so sensitive to
insignificant touches and why she wouldn't show her bare skin? … .
When I put my imagination together into several branches, I came
to a conclusion.
Machine Translated by Google

Did you sell your body? If so, Haewon's suspicious behavior was clearly
explained. Seungwan looked at Haewon with a regretful expression and
shook his head.
So yes.

***

Since returning with someone else's clothes and shoes, Haewon has stopped
taking sleeping pills and alcohol.
The blessing of being able to sleep in the dark was over, but seeing the clean
soles of my feet made it bearable. As I suppressed the anxiety that something
was breaking, time passed and stopped at Christmas.

It was a day to decorate the end of the year with great splendor, and it was
also the day Haewon was born.

Haewon, who had carefully folded the blanket and placed it on the mattress,
sat in front of the mirror and cleaned the floor while avoiding Seungwan, who
was fixing his hair. I lowered my head to dry my hair, and when I straightened
up, I suddenly felt dizziness in my temple and left ear. The tinnitus resonating
over my eardrums continued for a long time.
Machine Translated by Google

Why do you like this? I frowned, slapped my palms against my ears, and waited. It
wasn't long before the tinnitus disappeared. Hae-won shook her head to clear the
residue, and Seung-wan, looking very elegant, came in and said there was promise
in Hae-won's eyes. The scar-like dimples deepened along with the wry smile.

"Brother, lend me this!"

"¿eh?"

Haewon had nothing to lend Seungwan. As she looked at him questioningly,

Seungwan gently shook her wrist. A wristwatch wrapped around her wrist with a dark
leather strap ticked within a gold rim.

Hae-won, who had never unwrapped anything before, didn't immediately notice
the watch on Seung-wan's wrist, so she looked at it blankly and then found a box
on the desk. As soon as the unwrapped box caught my eye, my expression
instantly hardened and my

eyebrows furrowed.

“… … “Did you open my bag?”

“I was cleaning and I happened to take a look. Right?”

Machine Translated by Google

Seungwan replied calmly as if it was no big deal.

Haewon's expression was so gentle that he couldn't help but reply, "It's not
impossible." Seungwan, who was one hand closer to the hesitant Haewon,
grabbed her arm and shook it playfully.

“You don't use it anyway. It's Christmas, just one day! eh?"

Haewon's eyes fell on the messy open box. It was a watch I had been
carrying with me, intending to sell it if the opportunity arose. Not only could I
not unpack the package that had already been released, but I also couldn't
say anything clearly to Seungwan, who was begging me like a child. I had
nowhere else to go, but I was so afraid of being kicked out. I wasn't the type
of person to tell him to leave so harshly, but Haewon, who was filled with
memories of being rejected and abandoned numerous times, found it very
difficult to say a simple "I don't like it."

This indecisive nature has always been a problem. If you hesitate, you end
up missing the right moment to say no. Biting the inside of his lip and
choosing his words, Seungwan waved his arms and acted puzzled.

Until finally, reluctant permission flowed from Haewon's teeth.

“… … "You have to use it and return it."

Machine Translated by Google

"Of course. I'll use it today and give it to you right now!
"Thank you very much."

I looked at Seungwan's brightly smiling face and lowered my

eyes. It wasn't even a watch I thought was mine, anyway. As soon
as he received permission, Seungwan quickly stood up, put on
his coat, and wrapped himself in a scarf.

I still have to ask something, though. Haewon rationalized as she

looked at the excited Seungwan.
Unconditionally, in a positive direction, often to avoid negative
thoughts.

Hae-won, who was seeing Seung-wan off at the front door

because he said he'd be late, felt a sinking feeling as she looked
at the sunken security window. It's been a while since I've had
such a peaceful birthday, so I felt a little strange. Since I didn't tell
Seungwan, I didn't receive any congratulations from anyone today.

"¿oh?"

Haewon, who had been thinking about leaving when the sun rose
for a moment, turned her head. Seungwan, who always left like
the wind as soon as the front door opened, looked down instead
of leaving.
Machine Translated by Google

"because?"

“I didn’t ask for anything to be handed to me… ….”

A cold wind blew from beyond the open door. The bitter wind
instantly froze my hair and chilled my cheeks. Seungwan picked up
something left in front of the front door and turned around. Haewon
took a step closer and then hesitated back. A chill coursed through
my veins and covered every inch of my body. The rather large
object in Seungwan's arms felt all too familiar.

"What?" "Brother, what did you order?"

Seungwan asked as she flipped through the item, but Haewon

couldn't come up with any answers. My throat tightened and my
fingers trembled. Seungwan looked at the tag hanging from the
wrapped red ribbon and tilted his head.

A strangely wrapped gift in red and green wrapping paper. That

wrapping paper, that gift that was left in front of my house every
birthday morning for ten years.

"'happy birthday'… … ? "Did I come to the wrong place?"

Machine Translated by Google

Lee Myung, who had stopped, stretched loudly. The noise was
similar to a siren. It was so loud that the words coming from
Seungwan's stunned lips couldn't reach my ears.

Haewon, gasping for breath, fell backward. “Don’t curl up, cover
your ears and scream!” I yelled. Embarrassed, Seungwan
dropped the gift and ran to grab Haewon’s arm. Haewon
struggled with her legs and distanced herself from the colorful
gifts lying on the floor.

It must be a dream. It must all be a dream. I hit my head with my

fist. My forearm was hit, my thighs were scratched and torn. I
didn't wake up. A horrible scream tore from my throat as if metal
was being ripped from it.

"Come on! Brother! Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"

I know. I knew you were here. Seo Hae-young knew everything.

“Fuck, bro! Byeo, do I have to go to the hospital? What? Why

are you doing this... … !”

Haewon rolled on the floor and hit her head on a hard surface.
Seungwan, who had tied her arms, climbed onto her waist and
prevented her from moving further, but Haewon screamed and
twisted her limbs even as he
Machine Translated by Google

They held me. If I didn't do that, I felt like I was going to die. What
hurt wasn't the skin where her nails were scratching or the head
that was pounding, but inside.

I wanted to forget everything and live my life. I wanted to forget Seo Hae-young,
forget summer, forget the village, and live a normal life.

As I was madly regretting that day I made a wrong decision, a

sharp fear pointed at the tip of my chin. I gasped. Seungwan's
urgent voice disappeared, and an unwelcome scene unfolded
before my eyes. Today, a sound from a few years ago crackled in
my ear, causing tinnitus.

It was a cold winter, Christmas and birthday.

As soon as I opened the door, picked up the gift and went to Seo
Hae-young's house, a cake flew towards my face. Ko Tae-gyeom,
who was facing a ghost face covered in white whipped cream,
laughed like crazy, and Joo Hyun-woo laughed and carried him to
the bathroom.

When I stepped out of the shower feeling irritated, Seo Hae-young

was lighting a candle on a new cake. The second one was always
one. The screen changed quickly, as if fast-forwarding, but then
slowed down from the moment it faced Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-
young leaned on the table with her arms crossed and held out a
cake to her.
Machine Translated by Google

The small light at the end of the candle flickered as if it were about to go out. Haewon,
mesmerized by the fluttering hospitality that wasn't just hospitality, smiled and sat
down opposite her. Seo Hae-young raised the tip of her red lips and pointed at the
candle with her index finger.

"Make a wish."

"It's obvious our speech is good, right?"

Tae-gyeom, who was punched in the side by Hyun-woo while making a

sarcastic remark, cursed and begged.
Hae-won exaggeratedly clasped her hands together and looked at Seo
Hae-young. As always, the thick knit she wore today made her white face
stand out even more, making her even more adorable. Haewon pressed
the corners of her mouth that were about to rise and closed her eyes,
earnestly and with all her heart, she made a wish. Then I blew out the
small burning flame. For some reason, I couldn't look Seo Hae-young in
the eye, so I looked to the side and saw Tae-gyeom, who was leaning his
crooked chin, asking.

“Why did you pray?”

"Please make me rich."

He replied curtly, shaking the drops of water from his bangs.

Machine Translated by Google

"Look. "It's so fucking obvious, right?"

I laughed along with Tae-gyeom, who was punching Hyun-woo

on the shoulder, but it was actually a lie. Hae-won, who had
hidden a wish she couldn't tell anyone, followed the direction of
a line of pale smoke rising.

"That will pass."

Seo Hae-young, who did not know the content of the wish,
unusually expressed her good wishes and took out a candle.
Haewon giggled secretly as she swallowed the whipped cream
in her mouth. I couldn't erase my immoral feelings, so I smiled
shyly. The wish I didn't want was short and simple.

Please let me stay by Seo Hae-young's side for the rest of my life.
Machine Translated by Google

Nineteen. The wish I made when I realized my love for Seo Hae-young
weighed on my entire body. My limbs stiffened, then relaxed as if melting.

The projector projecting the past slowly stopped with a creak. There were ten
years of film left.

***

It snowed on a strange Christmas night. As the sun set, the snowfall grew
heavier, and by 8 o'clock, it was raining heavily. Dusty streetlights emitting
yellow light, streets filled with exhaust fumes, buildings with cracks covered in
colored light bulbs... … . All the dirt was hidden beneath the white, clean grains
of ice. When the heavy snowball drowned out the noise, the noisy city entered
a quiet night.

An unused cigarette fell onto the white snowfield. The acrid smoke mingled
with the dark emptiness, and a long sigh covered it. Seo Hae-young, leaning
on the bench, stretched her long legs and stamped her feet. My eyes were
focused on the video playing on the broken screen.
Machine Translated by Google

“Oh, no… … ."

A low voice mixed with laughter echoed in the deserted park.

The camera's shaky lens slowly focused. Hae-won's cheek, smiling
with a frown, stretched as someone held it in her hand.

“It hurts, Seo Hae-young… … ! Ah… … I won’t do it. I’m sorry.”

The short video ended with Haewon smiling mischievously, reluctantly

clasping her hands together as if praying.
The white hand that pinched her cheek was his, and that day was one
of those normal days when nothing special happened. Days like any
other, when he wanted to see people in trouble and find fault with them.

Seo Hae-young played the video, which lasted less than fifteen
seconds, for the first time. On the small screen, Haewon laughed,
grumbled, and apologized. I lit another cigarette and replayed the same
video dozens of times. It was pure, gentle, and clean. A deep tooth
mark remained on the white filter.

'don't do it... … .'

"Go now! No, my older brother who suddenly lives with me… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

At some point, the sounds connected. When I looked up, I saw a young man
hurriedly running up the stairs from the building in front of me. I held my cell phone
to my ear and watched the man run, treading heavily through the drifting snow,
until he disappeared beyond the alley, and then I turned my head. The basement
window, covered by a blurry security window, was dark. The cigarettes were
getting shorter, and a bitter taste lingered on my tongue.

No one came out after waiting for more than two hours. Seo Hae-young crushed
the snow that had accumulated on her clothes with the sole of her shoe and turned
off the video she'd watched dozens of times. Then, I opened the text message
window, which hadn't been answered for several months, and tapped the keypad.
Two messages were sent, but there was still no indication that they had been
acknowledged.

[I miss you]

[When do you want to meet?]

Seo Hae-young stood up with a brief question and an even shorter grace period.
The snowfall was getting heavier, covering the footprints left in the alley without a
trace.
Machine Translated by Google

***

The contagious depression spread even to the bar.

dark.

Heesung leaned across the table, tapped his water-dripped beer glass, and sighed. It
was Seohyun's favorite shop. She'd already made a reservation and was waiting, so
why would a family event suddenly happen?

I didn't want to spend Christmas in silence, so I called someone, but the person sitting
in front of me didn't seem to be having a good time.

Tae-gyeom, who was sipping silently with his chin resting on his chin, wiped the
corners of his eyes. He looked tired. The long, ragged skin had soaked through and
settled naturally beneath his eyes. His original, not-pretty expression seemed even
more ferocious. The corner of his mouth was open as if he'd been fighting again,
which was perfect for people seeing him for the first time to misinterpret. Heesung
narrowed his eyes and was lost in trivial thoughts.
Machine Translated by Google

That's why I'm getting married. To be honest, shouldn't the person who hurt
you take it?

When I asked about the person who hurt me, one person came
to mind. I remembered standing precariously under a streetlight,
my back to the river, my face frozen by the cold wind. And the
emotions I felt one after another were uncomfortable doubts
and guilt.

I was caught in the strange situation of a dark alley, Haewon

running across a bridge in summer clothes in the middle of
winter, and a gloomy voice, so I couldn't make a proper
decision. If it was an excuse to discreetly share the address
with Seo Hae-young, it was an excuse. Heesung opened his
lips as if shaking off negative emotions.

"What are you doing these days? It's hard to see your face."

"You know what to do."

Even if it was just a joke, the moment I said I was worried was
a habit I regretted.
Heesung threw the small snack and it fell on the table.

"I'm not very curious, so say something."

Machine Translated by Google

"Honestly, I felt so sorry for Kim Seohyun."

I was amazed and looked at him with eyes full of curses.

Tae-gyeom raised his eyebrows and gaped, saying, "What?" I was criticizing
someone I was dating well, even if he wasn't "good." Hee-seong, who gave me a
negative look, put his forehead back on the table and grumbled.

Tae-gyeom, who heard Hee-seong's complaint that nothing was happening at the
end of the year with one ear, as if he was tired, and relayed it with one ear, turned
his pointless gaze to the table next to him. Since it was a side table, the seats in
the group that were farther away were quite noisy from the moment we entered.
People of all ages and genders gathered and talked, and it was so loud that even
if I didn't want to hear it, it flowed into my ears. The voice of the man in the center
of the group was particularly loud and annoying.

"I'm a little crazy... … . Is that so? But it doesn't seem like it at all!

"What does that look like? They said you brought him here. 'This is one funny
bastard.'"
Machine Translated by Google

"You're so handsome. I didn't know it was that much. My hands were

shaking like that, and I couldn't stop."

Laughter erupted at the same time. Among the tables where people
were chatting quietly, this place was especially noisy. The shop
owner, who strives for a quiet atmosphere, looked toward the table
and made a frightened expression, but he couldn't help it. From the
sidelines, the man's voice gradually grew louder.

"Elegant? How old is he?"

"twenty… …Was it two or three? What do you do if it's half and half,
sister? "Are you crazy?"

"Tell them to leave. If he's such a strange bastard, why did you bring
him here?"

“I didn’t know that… … . Ah. Look at this one. Is this your brother’s watch?”
This is fucking expensive, isn't it? I carry a lot of cash in my purse.
wonderfully."

It was an uninteresting conversation. But it was better than the boring

love stories that always come out of Hee-seong's mouth. Taegyeom
played with his earlobe and took a sip of his drink before putting it
down. Turning my head diagonally, I saw a young man showing off
his wrist in detail under the orange light. The man lowered his upper
body.
Machine Translated by Google

and he whispered in a low voice, but coincidentally, his voice wasn't low at all.

"No, but… …It looks like you're in trouble. The scar wasn't a joke. There are also
some bruises. "The reaction was a little strange, and I brought him here for no
reason."

"Where did you meet?"

“The neighborhood I used to live in! We worked together for a while when I was
working there part-time, and we met the other day when I came home. Did you
run away while you were working?”

Taegyeom massaged his aching neck and silently stared at the man who was
talking. The man, who was chatting away, oblivious to my gaze due to the dark
interior, was a good talker. He was moderately interesting and moderately
unpleasant to look at.

Normally I would have covered my ears, but it strangely bothered me. Familiar
words came out of his mouth. The neighborhood, the convenience store, and
the appearance of the man selling his body in his story. The features of a person
who wandered around the entire area without a single clue were revealed
everywhere. A dry, scarred body, a frightened gaze that flinches when touched.
Machine Translated by Google

you touch and look up, and even the habit of sleeping as if you were dead.

"Are you still at home? I'm curious."

"I just gave him medicine and put him to sleep. It's a bit
inconvenient to go to the hospital."

"The medicine you took last time? You can't just eat that."

"I know. But I can't help it... … .”

Tae-gyeom's mood gradually sank when he heard a story that

overlapped with so many things that he wanted to blame it on
his mood.

I've been in trouble like this several times over the past few
months. Even if you thought they looked similar from behind,
they didn't, and even if you thought the way they spoke was
similar, it was different when you actually saw them.
Simply suppressing the urge to run out and ask, my clenched
fists grew tighter.

Just as his carefully trimmed nails dug into his palm and carved
a dark red crescent into his palm, the man stood up.
Machine Translated by Google

Taegyeom, who was looking around as if he were going to the

bathroom and couldn't take his eyes off the man approaching
him, frowned when he noticed the familiar watch hanging on his
wrist, clearly visible under his rolled-up sleeves.

I could see my back walking away, holding the watch I bought

without hesitation because I thought the slightly pinkish gold trim
and the dark leather would match. At the same time, I felt
confident. Taegyeom closed his cold eyes, then opened them
and stood up unsteadily.

"¿cigarrillo?"

Hee-seong straightened and asked, but Tae-gyeom walked away

without time to answer. I followed the man as he headed toward
a corner hallway. Perhaps he'd been drinking too much, but his
hesitant steps were slow despite his impatience. Tae-gyeom,
who had passed the bathroom and was a few steps away from
the man lurking at the end of the hall, grabbed the handle and
opened the door. The man's face turned red in the light
illuminating the dark hallway.

"Oh gracias."

I entered the bathroom, following the man who ran toward me

and entered. As the man went about his business and washed
his hands, he crossed his arms and watched silently.
Machine Translated by Google

If it was an acquaintance of Yoon Hae-won, whose personal relationships were so

close they were nonexistent, there was no way I couldn't tell, but it was someone
I'd never seen anywhere. A bird stared at his youthful face, and a man humming a
Christmas carol and arranging his waxed bangs began looking at himself in the
mirror as if he'd noticed my gaze.

It could be a misunderstanding or an overreaction.

Taegyeom clenched and unclenched his fists, looked at himself in the mirror, and opened
his mouth.

"ey."

The voice was thick and dry. Seungwan, who was decorating the Christmas
tree, looked at the stranger with a puzzled expression. Out of nowhere,
someone called out to me informally, but I couldn't answer because I
couldn't immediately recognize who the person was. I squinted my blurry
eyes to see if it was someone I knew, but it was the first time I'd seen him.

Taegyeom approached Seungwan, who was shaking his head, and turned
off the lever that was still pouring water. When the strong stream of water
suddenly stopped, the only sound in the bathroom was that of the exhaust
fan running. Taegyeom personally took out a tissue and placed it in
Seungwan's hand.

“Yoon Haewon?”
Machine Translated by Google

"… … Yeah?"

"The bastard who sold his body before."

The wetness soaked into the rough tissue. Seungwan's cheeks stiffened at first
glance. The voice was too loud to be considered eavesdropping, and the
impression of Tae-gyeom standing upright and blocking the entrance to the
bathroom wasn't very good. Was it because of his furrowed eyebrows or the scars
under his eyes? Seungwan tossed the wet tissue into the trash and let out a
mocking grunt without realizing it.

“Suddenly, what…? … .”

I felt a little scared after speaking without thinking, but I shrugged it off as if
nothing had happened. As soon as I turned quickly to avoid him, a strong hand
grabbed me by the neck and dragged me.

"I haven't finished speaking."

"No, why are you like this? Please let me go."

Seungwan abruptly yanked his arm and tried to leave, but ended up only
imagining it. Tae-gyeom grabbed him by the neck.
Machine Translated by Google

and rummaged in the inside pocket of his coat with his free hand
without even shaking his head. The photo I always carry with me was
within easy reach. I pushed the crumpled photo in front of Seungwan
and asked again in the best possible way.

“Is this the guy who looks like this?”

"Ah-. “You don't know?”

As soon as Seungwan turned his head without looking at the photo,

his tense patience collapsed in an instant. He grabbed me by the neck
and shoved my miserable body. Seungwan, who was shoved so hard
he made a muffled sound, coughed, but Taegyeom paid no attention
and slapped him on the cheek with the hand holding the small photo.

“Look, you bastard… … . He looks like this, doesn’t he? Oh?”

Significantly insufficient sleep clouded my judgment. Tae-gyeom's

impatience with Hae-won, who left no clues, was so high that he
couldn't contain it for even a moment, and as a result, bad habits
emerged with the
hands.

There was no way he didn't know because the name that

Tae-gyeom spat out and the photo he showed was of someone who
was happily using him as a conversation piece, but
Machine Translated by Google

Seung-wan tried to pretend he didn't know. The atmosphere

around Tae-gyeom and the scars left on Hae-won's body made
it difficult for him to admit it easily. It wasn't an action based on
a superficial sense of justice, like saying he would protect
Haewon, who was likely in a deep sleep due to drug use. It
was a denial that came out without even thinking about it
because he just wanted to avoid this situation. Was it a mistake
to be complacent and think that I should be beaten for not
knowing?

Finally, when Tae-gyeom raised his hand and Seung-wan,

who was frightened, closed his eyes, the closed bathroom
door opened. Hee-seong, who came to look for Tae-gyeom
when he didn't return, rushed in as soon as she saw Tae-
gyeom with his fist raised.

"Hey! What a crazy bastard... … !”

Hee-seong grabbed Tae-gyeom by the shoulder and pulled

him away from him, and picked up Seung-wan, who had fallen
because his legs were weak. Hee-seong apologized on his
behalf, saying that his friend had drunk too much. Seungwan
couldn't even reply that he was fine and quickly ran out of the
bathroom. Hee-seong firmly grabbed Tae-gyeom by the collar
and pushed him toward the sink as he tried to follow. Tae-
gyeom, who was drunk and exhausted, was easily pushed
away and suddenly sat down on the sink, holding his head.
Machine Translated by Google

“Ah, shit… … .”

"Did you turn around? What are you doing now?"

Taegyeom, who buried his face in his palms, said nothing and remained
silent. My head spun from fatigue. At the same time, my vision became dizzy.
The Christmas carol playing softly in the clean bathroom was so annoying
that I frowned and pressed my temples. I felt like my head was going to
explode. The sensation of being stabbed by something sharp continued
unabated. So no matter what Heesung said, I didn't have time to respond.

“Why are you like this, really…? … .”

"Shit… …" "Try to be quiet."

Taegyeom gritted his teeth and cursed as if he had a severe headache. Hee-
seong looked at the guy who had barely managed to fix the problem, but
instead got angry and wiped the back of his neck as he stared at him in
bewilderment.

I thought this was something. Tae-gyeom, who was always sarcastic and
ridiculous, suddenly changed. He didn't smile, he didn't openly lose his
temper, and to boot, he didn't even respond in time.
Overall, everything became gloomy and cloudy.
Machine Translated by Google

Heesung sighed because he couldn't see the cause, he found

the photo that had fallen into the sink and took a step closer.
As I walked past Tae-gyeom, who was barely recovering his
senses, and he bent down, I could see the blurry photo in
detail. In the crumpled photo that had been taped up, the
person I had met a few days ago was smiling brightly. It was
also someone I remembered from a while back. Heesung
frowned slightly as if he was looking at something unfamiliar.

The person in the photo may or may not have been Haewon
as seen from the bridge. It wasn't just because I lost weight or
because my hair color was different. The person in the photo,
dressed in workout clothes and messy brown hair, had a
completely different vibe than the person I saw that day.
Different smiles, different expressions, different colors. It was
a completely different person.

"What are you looking at?"

The photo I was looking at disappeared in an instant.

Taegyeom nervously stuffed the photo into his inner pocket,
as if it would wear out if he looked at it, and violently kicked
the bathroom partition. Heesung was about to say a familiar
name, but closed his mouth as he left the bathroom. What left
me speechless was a vague memory. Seo Hae-young's words
at the end of a phone call a few days ago.
Machine Translated by Google

"Don't tell anyone."

Suddenly, a word occurred to Tae-gyeom whose meaning couldn't

be easily understood. Heesung bit his lower lip and was lost in
thought. It was subtle. It's carrying a photo of a friend, and that
person is Go Tae-gyeom. Uncontrollable doubts clung to me. Is
Go Tae-gyeom also included in 'For Anyone'?

A gloomy Christmas in which no one was blessed was coming to

an end.

***

The Christmas glow faded, and a strange feeling of emptiness

remained. Seungwan, who returned home after two days of
headaches, was surprised once inside the freezing house and
twice when he found Haewon boiling with fever.

“Brother, Haewon hyung… … !”

Machine Translated by Google

At best, only the disheveled bedding remained on the provided mattress.

Haewon, who had collapsed amid the open bag and scattered clothes,
seemed dead at first glance. As I hurriedly brought my ear to my chest and
held my breath, I could feel a faint heartbeat. Seungwan, who had managed
to drag Haewon alive and lay her on the blanket, wiped the cold sweat from
his pale forehead and let out a long sigh.

"going crazy… ….”

While cleaning the messy house, I remembered Christmas Day and my mind
became confused. Because he moved to his seat as soon as he left the
bathroom, there was no mishap, but judging by the man's aura and tough
attitude, the assumption seemed to be true. Furthermore, a gift was left in
front of the house. Seungwan turned his head, looked at the unknown gift
hidden behind the hanger, and scratched his chin.

nut.

In his opinion, it seems like it was delivered incorrectly, but what happened
that made him sick? Anyway, it was so uncomfortable that he couldn't unwrap
it or throw it away, so I had to wait until Haewon woke up.

"What should I do?"

I wanted to let him out before he got into trouble, but when I saw his heavy
wrists and pale face, I
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I asked if I should keep him for a few more days. Seungwan couldn't chase
away a sick person in the middle of winter, so he got up, went to the kitchen,
and frowned.
There was no trace of anything eaten in the dry sink and empty refrigerator. As
I was considering waking him up and giving him some food, I heard a knock
from outside the door.

- “Jang Seung-wan!”

The subsequent knock was loud. When I opened the door with my eyes wide
open, the manager I'd split up with the night before walked in, rubbing his
forearms against the cold wind.

“Wow, sir… … ! Cold. Hey, order some food. “Hangover fish with broth.”

"What's going on? You went home."

"Construction is continuing upstairs. Damn, I can't live there because it's so

noisy. Let's stay here for a while."

The manager entered the house, saying she had been worried all week, and
found Hae-won occupying a corner of the narrow house, rummaging through
the blanket with her feet.
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"Is this him? "Bastard."

“Ah, brother… … !”

"Why? "I'm sleeping."

The manager, who had sent Seungwan to the kitchen to quickly

order something, sniffed and walked away. When I pushed
Haewon's head, which was lying sideways, with my foot, her pale
face was clearly exposed. I crouched down in front of him and
turned his warm face. I grabbed the high bridge of his nose and
shook it, but it didn't seem like I had touched it in any way. The
manager, who was massaging Haewon's face with a hand resting
on her chin, muttered sarcastically.

"Life must be pretty easy for bastards who look like that, right?"

"What's wrong? I feel so sorry for him."

“Why do you feel sorry? If you give your body, you get a lot of
money. I feel sorry, I... … .”

The manager let go of the corrupt Hae-won's chin and sat against
the wall, turning on the antique-looking television.
I nervously pulled Haewon's arm away from her outstretched foot.
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and quickly fell in love with the flirtatious entertainment.

After ordering food, Seungwan went into the living room, roughly covered
himself with the rolled-up blanket, and sat next to the manager. Still, I was
secretly glad to have a customer who came to me with a problem.

“But should I send it? What if a gangster comes looking for me?”

"You can take it with you and then give it back to me. Don't you know again?
'You can pay for your troubles.'"

"What is money… … . "I hope nothing important happens."

The two people, unable to regain their senses, pushed Haewon, who was in
pain, to a corner of the room, laughing and making small talk.

As if continuing last night's party, we'd pour cold soju and share it. Sometimes,
when Hae-won opened her eyes, we'd add a spoonful or two of boiled rice
and leave it there.

As the frozen snow on the street melted haphazardly, Haewon wandered

aimlessly, unconscious. Sometimes she dreamed of happy times, sometimes
she dreamed of a summer where everything was ruined, and sometimes she
dreamed of a hazy future. For a long time, she didn't even know how many
days and nights had passed.
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***

The manager remained in the basement for quite some time, using the construction
as an excuse. This was largely due to Seungwan's indifference, as he felt no
discomfort if one or two people entered.

While the two were out, Haewon woke up from a long sleep and looked around the
room with a blank expression, as if she'd forgotten her Christmas nightmare. I felt
a little dizzy, and my body felt uncomfortable.

"ah... … .”

He cleared his throat, which was covered in darkness, and let out a faint moan.
Then I sensed something was strange, but I didn't have the presence of mind to
acknowledge it.
Haewon got up from the blanket, took her hands that were quietly shaking because
she hadn't eaten anything in several days and headed to the bathroom.
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As usual, I left the door open just enough for people to come
and go and turned on the shower. My head was spinning, and
I was still confused. I couldn't really tell what day it was or what
I was doing. I just wanted to wash, so I turned on the hot water
and poured it over my head. As my naked body became
drenched, I felt a sense of unease once again. I gathered my
dizzy vision and looked down.

Jets of water shot out in several directions, hitting the ground

and spreading out in all directions. As I watched the water being
sucked into the drain in a small whirlpool, I heard that sound...
….

Haewon didn't notice the front door was open or that someone
new was looking through the crack, but she followed the stream
of water in and out with her eyes.

The manager put his left wallet in his back pocket and looked
toward the bathroom, where white steam was rising from it.
Thanks to the water vapor escaping instead of accumulating,
Haewon's body and skin, which had been bathed in water,
were clearly exposed. Her black hair was wet and stuck to her
long neck, continuing down her straight shoulders and down
her straight back. As Seungwan said, he looked at her wet,
scarred back and slowly lowered his gaze. My eyes narrowed
as they scanned my raised buttocks and long legs.

After watching Haewon take a slow shower for a while,

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The manager turned around and walked out the front door, chewing the
gum that was crushed between his molars.

When the door slammed shut, blown by the winter wind, Haewon looked up
in surprise and looked back. I turned off the water and poked my head out
the door.

“Es Seungwan… … ?”

The house was quiet, but my left ear wasn't. As I ate, a pesky noise persisted
in my eardrums. Haewon covered her right ear with her palm and called
Seungwan again.

Is this Seungwan?

What I heard wasn't a voice, but the murky sound of dissolved water. It was
like a pool being dragged to the bottom.
As I sank, I could hear other people talking outside the water. After repeating the
words a few more times, Haewon dropped her trembling hands.

My left ear feels strange.

The sound is good... … .

Machine Translated by Google

***

Haewon came out after washing, put her forehead on the floor while
packing her bag, and lost consciousness. The heat that didn't go away
easily and the accumulated lumps denied my will. Even if I kept my eyes
open, it was only suffering, so it was an instinctive avoidance of wanting
to.
live.

So, around dawn, when the two returned home from a drink, Haewon
was asleep as usual. The director stumbled into the living room, pushed
Haewon into a corner, and made room for her.

"Hey. "Just take out one more bottle."

"and… … . Brother, you shouldn't drink too much. "Turn into a complete
dog."

"Bitch, don't pout."

Seungwan opened the refrigerator with a grunt and raised his voice.
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"There's nothing left! I think that's the end of what I drank yesterday."

"Then go out and buy it."

The manager turned on the TV, felt his ears, and looked toward
the entrance. Seungwan didn't want to go out into the cold since
it was approaching 1 o'clock, so he sat on the floor.

"The convenience store is too far away, brother."

Director Moon took out a cigarette, nudged Seungwan with his

foot, and thrust a 10,000 won bill between his fingers.

“Buy some snacks too. Hungry.”

"Wow seriously… …. Throw it in the ash bin.

"Stop dusting the floor."

Seungwan, who had suddenly taken the money, couldn't swear

and simply frowned and put on the padding he had removed. As
Seungwan left, making an unfulfilled threat that he would keep
the remaining money, the room was filled with a flickering
television screen and the sound of laughter. The manager lit the
end of a cigarette, took a drag, and looked down. The face
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon's rounded body was in a similar position to her feet.

"Oye, oye".

The manager kicked Haewon, who was wrapped in a blanket, with

his black sock. When there was no sign of him waking up, I threw
myself down onto the warm floor and gently lifted the blanket.
Haewon's legs, clad only in a loose T-shirt and tight underwear,
reflected the light coming from the screen and glowed white.

The director sobbed, reached out, and squeezed her thigh. There
was no dry, soft flesh, but the feeling of the firm flesh wasn't bad.
After sucking on the cigarette, burning it quickly, and discarding the
filter, the director's hand gradually grew thicker and deeper. As I
pushed it toward my thigh, the delicate skin stretched comfortably
across the back and palm of my hand. Haewon didn't open her eyes
even though I was curious and even touched her calf. I touched her
pale cheek, but there was no response.

"Are you sick…?" … .”

The director wiped his face under his nose and walked over to
Haewon, who was hanging like she was dead.
Machine Translated by Google

I've seen these guys doing it countless times. When I saw people
buying expensive clothes and other promotional items with the
money they earned from selling their bodies and alcohol, I clicked
my tongue and thought it was pathetic, but inside I felt wronged.
Seungwan said he felt sorry for this person, but he didn't. Compared
to my own life selling counterfeit goods and living a miserable life, I
can't help but envy the life of making easy money thanks to my
good looks.

The manager rolled up Haewon's shirt and looked at Haewon's

upper body, then narrowed his eyes.
Aside from his smooth face, his body was ugly. Some people might
like thin men, but somehow it was hard to understand. Curiosity
took a different turn.

The hand reached down. I grabbed the thin band of the drawer and
lifted it slightly. I lowered my head to look inside and frowned. My
groin was bulging. Thinking I might have seen it wrong, the manager
sitting closest to him carefully pulled down his underwear.

"Ey… … .”

It wasn't a mistake. Haewon's groin was clean. The beautifully

colored penis was reasonably large and well-shaped.
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“… … "Are you sure you wrote this?"

The manager, who was staring at my prostitute's pink genitals, put my

underwear back on me. I felt strange. My eyes were fixed on the TV, but
my attention was focused on Haewon's body. I never noticed entertainment
programs that used low-level comedy. The manager took a deep breath
and extended his hand again. No matter how you look at it, it's strange.

The hand that had entered the drawers returned this time. As I wrapped
my palm around the only soft buttocks, Haewon's face, sleeping soundly,
approached my groin. Warm breath touched my groin. The director
unconsciously swallowed dry saliva and gently touched his buttocks. My
brain, which was moderately paralyzed by alcohol, couldn't feel the disgust
of touching a man's butt. As I moved away, the director slid his hand
deeper and twisted his thin lips.

“Oh, bastard… … . He really was a faggot… … .”

When I felt the moist, lumpy mucous membrane on my fingertips, my

actions became a little bolder. When I slightly opened my buttocks to see
the hole I could easily suck my finger into, a nasty moan escaped me.

"eww... … .”
Machine Translated by Google

The director, who had stopped moving, simply rolled his eyes and looked at
Haewon. Haewon turned her head while lying face down, and her eyebrows
furrowed slightly, then straightened again. The manager breathed a sigh of relief,
his eyes fixed on my buttocks. The wrinkles that had been biting my fingers as I
shuddered steadily tightened, as if I could comfortably fit up to three or four of
them.

"It's so impressive… … .”

A trembling laugh escaped her crooked mouth. I'd heard of

babies who did it anally, but when I witnessed one in person, it
was both hilarious and shocking.
The director's left hand circled the buckle of his pants as he felt
the inner wall and anus of a man he'd never experienced before.
I wanted to try it, but I was worried about the fact that he was a
boy, so it was a very unpleasant move. In the end, the director
clicked his tongue and pulled his finger out of her wet hole, and
at the same time, Haewon's eyes opened.

Haewon, blinking sleep-clouded eyes, was startled awake as

soon as the Drawers Band hit her pelvis. As I hesitated and
raised my upper body, my eyes began to roll. I remember
finishing showering and packing, but after that, it was completely
dark.
Machine Translated by Google

"Hey, are you awake?"

As soon as an unfamiliar voice reached my ears, my body automatically

kicked the ground and retreated to a corner.
Haewon, hugging her knees and pressing her back against the wall,
stared at the unknown man with bewildered eyes. I urgently looked
around the room, but Seungwan was nowhere to be seen, and a man
quietly got up from the floor, turned on the living room light, and
approached me, caressing me.

"Why are you avoiding me? I'm a brother who works with Seungwan
Jang."

Haewon tensed her shoulders and looked at the man waving his
hand. Since he'd been sleeping so soundly for a few days, it was only
natural that he didn't know. The man, who looked about 40, never
made a good impression. He seemed mean and gloomy. This was
the type she mostly saw when she worked as a waiter at a pub. In
short, he looked like a thug. Although he was striking, his appearance
was fundamentally different from Go Tae-gyeom's, who couldn't hide
the fact that he was born and raised in a good family.

The manager looked at Hae-won, who had closed her eyes and was
looking at his back, as if appreciating her, when she finally opened
her eyes. The pale color of her eyes and the expression on her face were
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white ones looked exactly like my crotch. He looked pale and innocent. The manager
squatting in front of Haewon roughly stroked her black hair and opened his mouth.

"What are you afraid of?"

“Ah, before… … .”

Haewon, her shoulders hunched, squeezed her eyes shut, then opened
them. The area around my buttocks was warm. I could clearly feel the
hole opening and closing, but before I had time to think, a cigarette-
scented hand pushed against my forehead.

“I tried to put some clothes on you because you went to bed without
anything on.”

Just as Haewon lowered her head, unable to respond due to her deaf
ears and confused emotions, the front door burst open.

"I'm here… … , oh! "Are you awake?"

Hae-won hurriedly dragged himself to the entrance and looked at the

manager, who was hiding behind Seung-wan and looking at him with a
puzzled expression. Seungwan said no.
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There was such a thing, and she made a belated statement. Haewon
didn't even listen properly or say hello, but immediately grabbed her bag
strap.

"I want to go… … . We're going."

"This time? Where are you going?"

“Anywhere. You shouldn't be here.”

A simple piece of luggage came out of the open bag. Haewon, who was
kneeling on the floor, sweeping things, kept shaking her upper body
back and forth even though no one was shaking her. The manager, who
grabbed her arm and pulled her back before her unbalanced balance
was broken, smiled gently.

"Well, is it because of that gangster? My brother scared everyone away.

"I'm not going, I'm not going."

Hae-won's eyes, which had been staring at the floor, darted around. The manager,
who had made eye contact with Haewon, raised his eyebrows and joked. The
manager removed the cap from the soju and poured the liquor into a cup, then
winked at Seungwan, who was looking at him indifferently. It meant kissing in
moderation.
Machine Translated by Google

“This high… …Anyway, I'm looking for you. You can stay here.
Oh? "Do you understand?"

The manager who raised the cup to Haewon, who was rolling
her eyes and couldn't calm down, waved his hand as if to tell
her to drink it quickly. Seungwan, who was opening a bag of
snacks while watching the manager who was lying cleverly,
scolded him.

"Ah! Brother, Haewon is sick... … !”

"Bitch, I'm just suggesting it!"

The manager, who had hit Seungwan on the head with a loud
bang, took the cup away from her. The manager, who drank
soju in one gulp, raised his arm and wrapped it around
Haewon's shoulder. Haewon, surprised, secretly glanced at
the manager and Seungwan, who were laughing while watching
My stiff cheeks trembled. I said it was because I was sensitive,
so I gripped my forearm tightly and pulled it away.
softly. I reminded myself that Seungwan's kind and caring friend couldn't be like
that. It's all an illusion. At that moment, the hand on my left shoulder moved slightly.
As he grasped the round bone and gently stroked it, goosebumps rose on my skin
for a moment.

"That guy is fucking funny these days."

Machine Translated by Google

The manager's voice, laughing and cracking his neck, was full of
moisture. Haewon clasped her hands together and pulled off her
hangnail. Blood oozed near her itchy thumbnail.

“If you go out with just anyone, you're screwed. Okay?”

Seo Hae-young's warning rang in my ears. Haewon shook her head as

if to dispel an illusion. My head wouldn't turn. It seemed damaged
beyond repair. It wasn't a good feeling to be stupid, and my left ear was
still numb.

***

The dream was the same as always. Seungwan and the director took
turns on the mattress, while Haewon lay on the floor.

After swallowing two sleeping pills given to her by the director, Haewon
lay down in front of the clothes hanger. The clothes hanging on it were
close enough to touch the tip of my nose. The smell of cheap fabric
softener was faint, and the smell
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The carelessly layered perfume floated in the air. I fiddled with whatever clothes I
could find while listening to Seungwan snoring as he quickly fell asleep.

I don't think a director with a different physique would have pursued Seo Hae-
young. Seo Hae-young isn't someone you can squash like a fly. Once they took a
liking to something, they'd stick with it until the end, and if they had the intention
of attacking and dragging them in, they would have been caught long ago. The
reason he might be hiding here is because Seo Hae-young either doesn't have
the will to do so yet, or she doesn't intend to find him in the first place, but she's
pushing and harassing him. It was one of two things. So, should he get out of
here or wait?

I gently stroked my chest, which held a heavy stone, with the palm of my hand. I
was still afraid of the cold wind.
I am afraid of strangers and unknown spaces.
I'm finally getting better after meeting Seungwan, but what else can I do here...?
….

My eyes grew hot. Haewon, unsure of what to do, pulled the blanket up to her
neck. It was a cautious move because the director was covering himself with a
blanket. I thought I shifted a little, but then I heard a shuffling sound behind me.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon stopped breathing and quickly closed her eyes. The manager's
breath fanned the back of her head as he turned around. When the hot breath
touched her sensitive skin, the hair on her neck stood up.

As the force of the drug pressing against my eyelids penetrated every corner
of my body, making it difficult to even lift a finger, a hand slid under the blanket
and wrapped around my waist. The arms that were wrapped around it felt
heavier than if they were wrapped up.

"Mmm… … .”

The creaking grew louder. The director's chest was pressed against her back,
and his weak hands touched her lower abdomen. Haewon, feeling a chill run
down her spine, moved slowly toward the hanger and closed her eyes.

This is all the fault of those three. It's because I've become sensitive to people
who don't hesitate to poke holes in me.

I counted without opening my eyes. The hand on my waist didn't move.

Before Haewon could even count to 30, she slowly fell asleep. The medicine's
energy was strong. Haewon, who had been dragged to the ground where she
couldn't reach, didn't even notice her hands lowering and lowering her stiff
shoulders.
Machine Translated by Google

As the sound of even breathing spread, someone else's hand entered

my underwear and touched my bare crotch. After losing interest in the
unresponsive genitals, my hand slipped between my soft thighs.

Haewon had a long sleep without even realizing that someone else's
hands were smoothing her sticky skin.
The dream that I would completely forget when I woke up was also a
happy dream.

***

The manager, who was lying on the floor, ended the noisy phone call
with his legs shaking at his knees.

“The repressive measures are increasing. Hey, fuck... … .”

"How much does it cost? They are also very diligent there."

Haewon, who was quietly clearing away the empty plates so as not to
disturb them, looked up. The two talked about things they didn't know
and regretted playing catch since the New Year. Haewon, who wasn't
very curious,
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He cleared the table and headed into the kitchen, looking up as

he threw the dishes into the sink one by one.

The small window above the sink was covered with a cloudy
safety screen, but the outside was still visible, albeit faintly. The
distance people walked was at eye level, so sometimes you
could see someone's shoes, and sometimes you could see a
stray cat wandering around. As I scrubbed the bottom of the
bowl with a brush, I suddenly remembered the stray cats that
visit me every winter, and my hands slowed down.

Is there a new person living in that house? They always put out
boxes when it gets cold, so they'll be back this year, but the
new residents probably won't know. I hope you don't get hurt
too badly. The reality of how I ended up losing my home with
my cat was really sad.

Haewon, who had put down her rinsed rice bowl, sighed and
then jumped. The rough fabric of my jeans rubbed against my
buttocks, which were clad in thin sweatpants. There was a thin,
unlit cigarette in my fingers pressed against the sink, and a
creepy voice followed it.

“Wow, you're good at washing dishes too… … . Come over to

my house. "It's an apartment, an apartment."
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon smiled awkwardly at the manager who was scratching his neck
and laughing, then lowered her head and cleaned her plate thoroughly.
There were times when Seungwan also used excessive contact, but the
manager was a bit harsh. Once I was bitten, the men started scolding me
for being so sensitive, so I had no reason to avoid it. Seungwan also
defended herself by saying that her hands were dirty, but that wasn't her
true intentions, so she had no choice but to keep her mouth shut.

Haewon gritted her teeth slightly and asked casually as she placed the plate
on the shelf.

“… … “When are you going?”

"Bitch, are you kicking me out now?"

The manager, who was holding his shoulder as if he were about to crush
him, frowned. Haewon, who hadn't known she'd sounded like that, shook
her head and blurted out the words. The director, who had remained silent
for a moment, suddenly burst into laughter. The hand that had hit my back
again subtly brushed against my wing bones and flowed down. The hand
that went down my waist gently squeezed my buttocks and then fell. When
I flinched and inadvertently took a step forward, the manager's palm lightly
hit the back of my head.

“Wash it well. Oh, go out and buy some soju.”

Machine Translated by Google

The manager, who had stuffed a crumpled bill into Haewon's pants
pocket, turned his back on her. As I let out the breath I'd been
holding, my head started to spin.
Should I just leave? An impulse surged through my troubled mind,
then subsided.

Haewon finished washing the dishes, took off her rubber gloves, and walked around
Seungwan. The fear that Seo Hae-young might be outside made it impossible for me
to leave through the front door. However, Seungwan seemed to want to enjoy his
long-awaited vacation to the fullest. Since the sun was out and there were no
strangers around, Haewon bit her lip as Seungwan reached out and reluctantly put
on his sweater. It was so bright that he didn't want to go outside anymore.

As I hesitated to hold the bill, the squinting manager raised his

voice and yelled at me to buy it quickly. For a moment, Hae-won
looked at her father, who was dead and gone, in shock, and headed
for the front door. However, I couldn't leave immediately, so I
searched the small entrance and the shoe rack for a while. There
were no shoes. In the end, I cautiously called Seungwan, who was
engrossed in the television.

“Seungwan… … . “Have you seen my shoes?”

Machine Translated by Google

“Hyung’s shoes? Didn’t I clean them?” “Take a good look at them.”

Seungwan, who didn't even look at me, responded half-heartedly.

Haewon looked closely at the shoe rack again, but the shoes she
wore the first day were nowhere to be found.
Also, sneakers that I don't know who owns. My eyes rolled back
and landed on the manager.

The manager sat on the hot floor, looking at his phone and
cursing. No matter how much of a gangster he was, there was no
reason to steal shoes of the wrong size. I had no choice but to
put my feet in Seungwan's slippers and leave.

Haewon opened the door a crack and poked her head out first.
Weekdays were quiet in the dilapidated residential area. Haewon
took a step outside, frowning as the sunlight hit her. The wind
blowing from the alley was still chilly.

It was quite far from the nearest convenience store, so she had to hurry, but
Haewon's steps were slow. I didn't speed up because she was looking around
flowerbeds, alley corners, and badly parked cars. She flinched at the mere
sight of a person's shadow and hurriedly hid when she saw a man with a
shadowy back. Since I could only back out from around the corner after
checking my face, I spent more than
Machine Translated by Google

twice the distance I could have covered in ten minutes. In the middle of
winter, beads of cold sweat formed on my forehead.

It took Haewon a long time to get to the convenience store, and as she
stood at the end of the checkout line with three bottles of soju in plastic
bottles, a sleek car pulled into the shabby neighborhood. The afternoon
radio was playing in the car, but only one person was smiling. Still, I
kept an eye on him.

“Put out your cigarettes. It stinks.”

After leaving the narrow alley and turning the wheel onto the main
street, Hee-seong playfully scolded him. Tae-gyeom didn't even
pretend to listen, but instead stretched his arm out the car window and
inhaled the filter. A fierce wind blew through the fully rolled-down
window. Turning on the heater, Hee-seong clicked his tongue in
frustration and said, "Do whatever you want, you frustrating bastard."

Taegyeom asked dryly, turning down the annoying volume of the radio.

"Where are you going?"

"just… … Drive."

"Damn… … . “Somewhere like this?”

Machine Translated by Google

Taegyeom laughed and looked outside. The residential alleys, which

could barely fit a single car, were filled with dirty trash under every
electric pole. That's all? Rusted and cracked walls, messy electrical
wires, and even frozen food waste.

None of that went well with the word impulse.

“Well, I’m just going from here to there… ….”

Heesung answered awkwardly and turned his gaze forward.

On Christmas Day, I didn't say anything to Tae-gyeom, who went

crazy as soon as he found out the man he caught in the bathroom
had left the store. I don't know why Seo Hae-young and Go Tae-
gyeom are looking for Hae-won, so I decided to keep quiet for now. I
can't bear to say that I saw Haewon around here, and while I was
pretending not to know, Tae-gyeom's screwed-up state caught my
attention, and the innocent Hee-seong, who was caught in the
middle, did his best to remain neutral. If we meet again in passing,
fine, but no. If we're lucky, we'll meet Go Tae-gyeom. Heesung
shrugged and changed the subject in a light tone.

“Hey, can you contact Hyunwoo Joo? I don’t have any New Year’s
greetings and I don’t know anything.”

However, it was not a very pleasant topic for Tae-gyeom. Tae-

gyeom, who exhaled thick smoke beyond the
Machine Translated by Google

window and wrinkled his eyebrows, looked at Hee-seong with irritated

eyes and turned his head out the window.

Joo Hyeon-woo Now it didn't matter whether that bastard was shot
there or drowned at sea. I would go to the funeral out of respect for
the past, but I didn't think there would be tears.

"If you've been playing this much, it's time to study. You have to lock
him up and make him do your bidding."

Taegyeom silently and sarcastically brushed the ash off his cigarette and leaned
his dizzy head against the window frame.

I should have properly punched the guy I met in the bathroom at that
moment. I had no idea they'd escape at that moment, and the only
clue to finding Haewon evaporated. I felt like I'd been circling in the
same place for months.

In fact, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, and I've even
forgotten what emotions I look for in Haewon. I just wanted to see
him at least once. Is he alive? If so, how is he?

I left the narrow alley and came out onto this lane, but the road was
still narrow. Tae-gyeom, who was watching the smoke disappear
when the car stopped in front of the intersection,
Machine Translated by Google

pedestrian with the traffic light on, focused his eyes on the convenience store
located across the intersection.

“Anyway, he’s not that kind of person, so I’m worried something’s up. Hyeonjeong
didn’t say anything either. Wonderfully…”

Heesung's voice drifted in one ear and out the other without stopping. The bright
blue umbrella swayed gently in the wind. Tae-gyeom inhaled the cigarette filter and
let out a long breath as he watched the store door open with a cheerful ringing of
the bell. A man carrying a black bag rolled up his sleeves and held the large bag in
both hands. His exposed wrists were slender.

I couldn't take my eyes off him because his rather tall height and slender body
reminded me of someone. The man lowered his head and checked the inside of the
bag. Taekyeom was confident even though I couldn't see his face. He wasn't the
person I was looking for now. The jet-black hair flew in the same direction as the
umbrella fabric.

Haewon Yoon's hair was a brilliant color. From the first time I saw it, I was so
amazed that I grabbed the guy who said I didn't like him and pulled him hard. Even
the roots were pale. I wanted soft brown hair and tried to get a similar color, but I
failed every time.
Machine Translated by Google

No matter how much he gave, it seemed artificial and messy.

After making a fuss about it for a while, I covered it up because I didn't want
to see it and my hair was completely damaged.
Hae-won frowned as she picked up the other person's hair, thinking it was all
going to fall apart, and probably stuck her middle finger in his face to tell him
to "fuck you."

As I reflected on the past that wouldn't return, my head ached. Taegyeom

rubbed his forehead and flicked the ash off his cigarette as if clearing away
random thoughts. Anyway, it's all in the past. It's an old incident that somehow
ended with Haewon Yoon.

Taegyeom, snapping back to reality, tried to look away from the man who
caught his attention. However, just before the signal changed, the man who
had moved the bag to his left looked up.

A white face was revealed. Next, a brilliant iris appeared, shining like crystal
in the sunlight. The sun was stinging, so my squinted eyes stared into the
distance, and then I slowly turned around. A long, white neck, huggable
shoulders, and slow steps. Everyone, everyone… … .

The shortened filter fell to the road. Smoke continued to rise from the burning
ashes, and Tae-gyeom's mind instantly became a mess. At the moment
Machine Translated by Google

As Heesung noticed the change in the signal and shifted gears, all sorts of
thoughts ran through his head.

Why is that here? I've been wandering around so crazy, why is it here?

“… …hey! Did you turn around? Hey, go Tae-gyeom!”

I opened the door of the car that was starting to move and jumped out. My
legs moved haphazardly. As I crossed the crosswalk with the red light on, the
sound of tires scraping the road echoed here and there. A curse word came
from the car that suddenly stopped. Without turning around or apologizing,
Tae-gyeom ran toward the alley where Hae-won, whose hair was dyed black,
had entered.

No one passed through the dimly lit alley. Instead, a dark shadow and a knife-like
wind attacked Tae-gyeom. The sounds of labored breathing and a loud heartbeat
combined to shake what was visible. Hae-won's slowly walking back appeared in his
shaky vision, and Tae-gyeom's expression distorted uncontrollably. He grabbed
Haewon's forearm and spun her around as she walked carefully, making sure not to
hear the sound of her running.

"oh… … !”
Machine Translated by Google

The black bag that fell from Haewon's hand, who let out a gasp
of surprise, rolled down the alley, and the soju bottle that fell
from the bag rolled away. Haewon's eyes widened, and her
black hair fell over her forehead. For a moment, Tae-gyeom
suspected he might have mistaken someone.

The combination of his fine, defined lines and his black hair
made him look like a completely different person.
The clear, mellow atmosphere disappeared. The man who was
as wet and damp as a swamp was someone I didn't know at
all. Facial features, height, and fair skin. All the same, but
different people. I saw myself reflected in the astonished eyes
of a stranger.

Tae-gyeom, who came to his senses belatedly, pursed his lips,

which seemed to be stuck together and wouldn't let go. There
were so many things I wanted to ask, like what he ate, how he
slept properly, and how he lived, but I couldn't open my mouth.
I wonder if I would have lived well if I had been screwed like
that, but when I met the skinny body with the face
white and bloodless, I instantly felt miserable.
It was impossible to say that I lived well.

The two people looked into each other's eyes and stared at
each other without saying anything. Tae-gyeom looked at Hae-
won's face and the exposed skin, which showed no signs of
having been hit, and Hae-won looked at the dark scar below
Tae-gyeom's eye and his rough lips.
Machine Translated by Google

The first person to move after being frozen like a statue was
Haewon. When I pulled on the grabbed forearm, my strong grip
loosened so easily it felt useless. Haewon, who was squatting
on the floor, scooped up the rolling soju and carefully put it
back in the bag.
I wish I had bought a bottle instead of a bottle, but the road
would have been littered with glass shards.
When I picked up the soju that had fallen at Tae-gyeom's feet, I felt a wave of
resentment.

That's why I didn't want to go out. It was the first time I'd ever gone out during
the day with the sun shining. I only went out one day... … , I'm not lucky either.
Hae-won, who wiped her dusty hands on her pants and stood
up, turned her back to Tae-gyeom, who looked at her with
confused eyes, without even looking at her.

I took a step, and before I could take the remaining step,

someone grabbed my arm and spun me around. Hae-won,
who was quite shocked by the simple tug on her arm, tried to
shake off Tae-gyeom's hand. However, the grip remained firm
and didn't loosen as easily as before.

“Put this aside. Why… ….”

Even though I struggled and pulled at his arm, Taegyeom held

strong. As I struggled to pull him out, a laugh echoed above
my head.
Machine Translated by Google

"… … because?"

Tae-gyeom released his blood-damaged fist and clenched it again. I

practiced saying the words several times in my head to keep from
getting angry. As I practiced, I had to ask them how they were doing.
Then he said he was sorry for treating me so carelessly and leaving
me without helping him. That's what I had to say.

However, Haewon's appearance, dressed only in a thin sweater and

the wrong size slippers in the cold weather that was so cold it stung
her eyes, wasn't much different from the alley she thought was in
bad shape.
He looked like someone who was born and raised in a damp, smelly
alley. I felt like I was going to run away and scream, asking why I'd
run away to live like this. Tae-gyeom, his teeth so sharp his jaw
ached, pulled at Hae-won, who was struggling.

"Sígueme."

Hae-won, who was helplessly dragged away, immediately sat up and

shook her head as if she thought it wouldn't work.
Tae-gyeom, frowning, grabbed her wrist and tried to lift her up, but
Hae-won held her so tightly that she couldn't even laugh and acted
as if she would die if she left the alley.

"Shit… …“Aren't you getting up?”

Machine Translated by Google

Hae-won escaped Tae-gyeom's reach and ran without looking

back as Tae-gyeom adjusted his arm after mindlessly cursing.
I ran like crazy, forgetting that my arms were tingling. As I ran
toward the alley, holding the noisy bag in my arms, Tae-
gyeom's scream reached the back of my neck.

“Yoon Haewon!”

The sound of exhaling and inhaling could only be heard clearly

in my right ear. After leaving the alley, Haewon turned the
corner and entered a narrow street. The sound of footsteps
hitting the cement followed. I hit my knee on an old dresser
that had been removed, but I ran without any pain. Before I
knew it, it reached my chin, and labored breathing mixed with
crying mingled with it.

I didn't want to bump into him, even by chance. I didn't even

want to talk to him for a moment, so I went up the stairs at a
sharp angle. Perhaps in my hurry, I didn't see the bicycle tied
under the electric pole. Hae-won, whose ankle was caught in
the wheel, fell forward at the last moment. I couldn't even
scream, and I fell down the stairs. The wheel of the fallen
bicycle spun with a loud noise.
Machine Translated by Google

A pair of sneakers with a broken sole after getting caught on a bicycle flew far
away, and a bottle of soju in a bag rolled back into the dust. Haewon couldn't get
up and fell to the ground, groaning. When I fell, my knees and palms were pressed
against the cement floor, and my sprained wrist was throbbing.

“Ah, eh... … .”

In an instant, blood formed on my open palm. Haewon, crouching beneath the

blue slate roof, didn't even notice the sound of urgent footsteps approaching and
clutched her trembling hands.

I couldn't understand Go Tae-gyeom, who was now trying to do anything. Every

word he tried to assuage my guilt was awful. All Go Tae-gyeom wanted was to
make things like this go away. Since I don't want a mediocre apology or
compensation, I hope they go away.

Unlike the wind, the footsteps didn't stop and came closer. As soon as someone
else's shoes came into view, Haewon grabbed the scattered soju bottles and bit
into them. When I raised my head, a bored face appeared. Haewon started to
turn around and back away. However, because there was no room to back away,
it was no different from wandering in place.
Machine Translated by Google

***

Tae-gyeom suppressed his anger as he stared at Hae-won, who

looked like she was about to run out of breath. Although he never
raised a fist or kicked, the sight of him displaying displeasure
seemed like subtle sadness. Tae-gyeom, pressing his palm against
his aching temple, slowly bent down and sat down in front of Hae-
won, who was so pitiful and miserable that she hurt herself and
couldn't run properly.

"Don't touch it."

Tae-gyeom tugged on Haewon's arm, which was on high alert,

and silently stroked her red wrist with his handprint before moving
up her wrist. The crisp sweater was wrinkled beneath my hands.
A slender forearm was trapped through the thin fabric.

It wasn't just my face that was dry. When I placed my forearm,

which felt like I could break it with a little effort, and cupped my
cold cheek, I could clearly feel my body trembling. Tae-gyeom
approached Hae-won, who was about to turn her head away,
swallowed a sigh, and asked in a low voice.
Machine Translated by Google

"Why don't you go?"

Haewon couldn't focus her gaze on one spot and rolled her eyes. The
plastic bag she was holding in both hands was wrinkled. Haewon raised
her eyes and watched Tae-gyeom's movements, slowly opening her lips.

"Watch… …, I'll give you back your watch. So don't come looking for me."

For a moment, Tae-gyeom frowned, unable to immediately understand what Hae-

won was talking about, and then he laughed. I was speechless as I remembered
the watch the immature boy wore as if it were his own. It didn't matter if he sold
the watch or gave it to someone else. It's not like he'd worked so hard for months
just to get that back.

Tae-gyeom held her shoulders with both hands, which trembled at the
slightest laugh, and hesitated for a long time, unable to choose just one
thing from the many things he wanted to say and the many things he had
to say. The more Haewon worried, the more Haewon tried to escape,
pushing off the stone-strewn alleyway with the sole of her remaining
slipper. Tae-gyeom shook her shoulder and told her to wait a moment,
biting his lip hard and letting out a calm voice.

“… … "I won't do that anymore."

Machine Translated by Google

It was a phrase that came out after much thought. Taegyeom hesitated
for a moment and carefully released the words he had practiced.

I'm sorry for treating you so carelessly and leaving you without help.

I did my best not to use profanity or harsh language, but I wasn't sure if
it sounded sincere. Haewon just looked at him with anxious eyes and
hugged the plastic bag in her arms. Tae-gyeom's ambiguous attitude left
a deep furrow between her eyes, unsure whether he understood or not.

“Because I did everything wrong, damn it…” … . “Please, let me do

something.”

Tae-gyeom, who ignored the clumsy plea, shook Hae-won's shoulder.

Hae-won had a blank expression on her face, asking him to give some
kind of answer. As if she had suddenly come to her senses, her long,
downward-facing eyelashes lifted. Her trembling lips parted, but it wasn't
the answer Taegyeom had imagined. A question filled with strange
confidence flowed from lips that were expected to burst with resentment,
anger, and sadness.

"Is it because you want to do it?"

Machine Translated by Google

"… … that?"

"sex. I think I do it because I still want to, but I don't have to. "You
probably don't want to do that."

Taegyeom felt dizzy for a moment and gritted his teeth. Haewon
grew impatient and quickly rolled up her sleeves.
I said, “Look at this,” and lifted it to my elbows, revealing the
wounds hidden by the clothes. The white skin was horribly
covered in red scratches and teeth marks that had been scratched
randomly. Haewon pointed out each wound one by one and
looked at Tae-gyeom with a look in her eyes, hoping his interest
would cool.

"Look at this one. Here… … , here too… … . I have a lot of things

like this. It's disgusting. "It's dirty."

When Tae-gyeom didn't say anything, Hae-won pulled at his

stretched collar, revealing his collarbone. When I stretched my
neck, the skin on my nape and chest was exposed, as were my arms
My skin, which had once looked and felt clean and soft, was a mess.

It was a punishment I inflicted on myself every time I thought

about Seo Hae-young and wanted to get back with her. Those
feelings were so deep that it was a struggle to resist the urge to stab
Machine Translated by Google

with a sharp knife and pour boiling water over it. Haewon lifted
the corner of her stiff mouth and smiled awkwardly.

“Now I don't even feel like doing that. Okay."

At the same time, he repeatedly showed off disgusting scars.

Tae-gyeom said it was creepy and that he hated it. I remembered
it very clearly. If they see dirty, worn, and messy things, they'll
stop coming, even if they don't have anyone to fuck with.

"Did you see it? Can you see it? "Find someone else besides me."

Tae-gyeom could only stare at the wound, which was deeper

and thicker than before, unable to even touch it. Hae-won,
carelessly stroking the wound that itched even if he touched it,
calmly straightened his disheveled clothes as if he knew this
would happen.

"Please leave now."

Hae-won gently pushed his shoulder, but Tae-gyeom couldn't

tear his eyes away from the long cut on his bruised palm.
The skin cut by the blade that day was healed. Tae-gyeom's
eyes, filled with regret and remorse, scanned Haewon from
head to toe as if separating them. Soon, hollow laughter
followed.
Machine Translated by Google

Well, all right. I wanted to lick that obviously dirty wound.

I wanted to suck on each and every one of the scars, which
would normally be so gruesome I didn't even want to look at
them. I wanted to jerk my cock against his grim face and spread
the sticky semen over his pale cheeks. Even when I was
confronted with the clearly visible wounds, the disgusting thoughts
that arose weighed on my head and shoulders. Now I couldn't
understand what this feeling was. Tae-gyeom squeezed his eyes
shut, opened them, erased the afterimage of Hae-won, bruised
and panting, and did his best to assume a low posture.

“If you don't like it, don't do it. They don't even touch me. Because I've
thought about it a lot... … .”

It was a somewhat rushed story, but the ending was vague.

Tae-gyeom, who was more used to scaring people than
whispering tickling promises, couldn't find the right words to say
next.

Haewon, who looked up with bright eyes full of

Anticipation and anxiety lowered her long eyelashes. The resentment, anger, and
sadness that hadn't flowed from her lips pooled on her dry face. Silence fell in the
alley where the cold wind blew. The two people didn't open their mouths, just filled
themselves with what they wanted to say to each other.
Machine Translated by Google

As the sunset glow reached the alley, cold fingertips tickled the back of my
hand.
Dry fingers covered the back of the hand holding the necklace and slowly
lowered it. As Tae-gyeom looked at the back of his hand, which felt as wet
as a swamp, Hae-won's lips, which had been tightly closed, opened.

"I am… … , I am. "I hate you so, so much."

I've said it several times, but no matter how many times I say it, it's not
enough. Haewon twisted her face and shook her head countless times. My
heart tightened as I felt like I was committing a sin just by looking at her
expression of disgust and fear.

Ah. The small, low exclamation that came from Tae-gyeom's teeth didn't
signify enlightenment or acceptance. I'd been immersed in it for a long time
without even knowing what was wrong, but when I looked at it from a step
away, I felt like I was facing the result of everything having gone off track.
The result is that you give up because you don't know where to start to solve
the problem.

Since I couldn't find a solution, the scar under my eye began to burn as if it
had been on fire. A headache followed, splitting my head into dozens of
pieces.
Since Haewon disappeared, at some point headaches appeared that
disrupted my daily life.
Machine Translated by Google

“… … Haewon Yoon”.

Taegyeom leaned forward as if collapsing and rested his forehead

against Haewon's chest. Unlike the cold rejection she'd given him, her
embrace was warm. I dug into my chest, which had no room to hug,
leaned against my shoulder, and closed my eyelids.

"I… … , What should I do? Please talk. I don't know anything, so

please tell me. Fuck, please… … .”

The bright rising sun was setting behind the commotion. Haewon, who
was staring at the rooftops of the residential area turning red, pursed
her lips.
dried out.

"Leave it. You're good at that... … .”

Haewon lifted her drooping arm and clumsily wrapped it around

Taegyeom's back. She slowly patted her back with her raw palm and
murmured softly.

You started it all. Complete.

The breath that touched the back of my neck filled with moisture and
my arrogant shoulders collapsed in a pitiful state.
Machine Translated by Google

Hae-won couldn't feel any emotion and patted his old friend and guilty man on the
back like a machine. He wanted to stop now. Seo Hae-young was enough to break
the line between dreams and reality.

The icicles hanging from the slate roof melted and dripped with
water. The cold drops that fell cracked Haewon's cheek. The ice
flowing through her tear ducts seeped onto Tae-gyeom's
shoulder.

Tae-gyeom, with his back to the sunset, gradually revealed his

unfiltered feelings. I want to drag the barker out, I can strip him
naked and put him here too, so I'm so sorry.
He said he couldn't sleep and was looking for it and was going
crazy. So, can you take a look?

However, Tae-gyeom was resting his forehead on her left

shoulder, and what Hae-won heard was the gentle sound of
water. Like the pool Seo Hae-young was dragged into, deep
waters where a layer is blocked and only ripples are transmitted.
Haewon still couldn't leave the villa and the pool that summer,
and she gently rubbed Tae-gyeom's calm back.

Time passed slowly for Tae-gyeom, who could neither easily let
go of Hae-won nor recklessly drag her away.
Machine Translated by Google

In the limited time, Taegyeom asked many questions.

Where do you live, who do you hang out with, and do you sleep well?

Haewon didn't answer any questions. All Taegyeom could do was

promise to wait for Haewon, who remained silent. But they both knew
it even if they didn't say it.
That I can't wait long and that there's no turning back.

A year in which nothing was gained and only losses came to a belated
end. Memories, people, faith, and time. We have lost something that
will never return.

The sun was setting behind the mountains in the distance. Now it was
time to say goodbye. The hand caressing Tae-gyeom's back slipped
away, and the last greeting nearly escaped Hae-won's mouth.

“… … "Come get me now"

Before he could finish speaking, a loud voice came from the end of a
dark, blue alley, mercilessly breaking the awkward silence.

"¡ey!"
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon's head turned slowly to the right. The manager came from the
end of the alley to find Haewon, who hadn't returned for over two hours
after sending him on an errand for alcohol. Tae-gyeom looked at Hae-
won's embarrassed expression and then followed her gaze. At the end
of his line of vision, the director walked with a shaky gait, his neck bent.

"What is this bastard?"

As Tae-gyeom slowly stood up, Haewon hurriedly left and walked

towards the manager. 'song… … .'
Though he whispered softly, the director pushed Haewon's shoulder
and took a step forward. The director, who wasn't tall enough to make
eye contact with Tae-gyeom, lifted his chin, scratched his neck loudly,
and spat on the alley floor.

"¿OMS?"

As her eyes looked at Tae-gyeom, the question was directed at Hae-

won. Hae-won, holding the soju bottle in one arm, put on the manager's
clothes and tried to take them off Tae-gyeom, whose expression was
gradually crumpling.

“Come quickly… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

“No, shit! Let him go!”

The director opened his arm and pulled his hand away, hitting
Haewon in the head with his palm.

"Bitch, stay still..." … !”

As soon as a sound was heard, Tae-gyeom grabbed the

manager by the collar and pulled him down with a tired look.
Finally, a burst of laughter erupted. I was so surprised I started laughing.

Before smoking, my hair was shaved and coarse, and my eyes

were blurry. It wasn't easy to stop staring at Haewon, who had
just been hit on the head and was fidgeting and tugging at the
manager's arm. I was speechless when I saw Hae-won
struggling to stand next to a boy she'd never had the chance
to speak to in her life.

“Now this bastard… ….”

Haewon rolled her eyes, unsure what to do between the

manager spewing profanities and Tae-gyeom grabbing her by
the neck.

Is this what you finally chose? Taekyeom's eyes seemed to

ask that question. Haewon, with her face
Machine Translated by Google

contorted, shook his head and told him not to, but the manager,
with his heel raised, raised his eyes menacingly and raised his
head.

"Scam? Come on, you damn idiot. Oh?"

The top of the manager's head unpleasantly touched Tae-gyeom's

collarbone. It was shocking. At least in Haewon's opinion. Hae-
won, who had been tugging at the manager's clothes, telling him
not to, quickly stepped between them as soon as Tae-gyeom
raised his hand and closed his eyes.

Tae-gyeom's fist barely stopped near Hae-won's trembling cheek.

Hae-won, who narrowly avoided being hit, was terrified, and with
her free hand, she ripped off the hand holding the boss's neck.

"low… … , don't do it."

Hae-won was disgusted and shoved his shoulder as if facing a

villain. Tae-gyeom was helplessly pushed back even by a hand
that didn't exert any force. Hae-won, who was hiding the director
behind her back and blocking Tae-gyeom, put force on the
corners of her mouth to prevent him from getting up.

"go… … . Please leave me alone. Please… … .”

Machine Translated by Google

The smile created by the trembling mouth was infinitely miserable and serious.
Tae-gyeom tried to look at Hae-won through blurred vision. The more I stared at
the servile, pitiful face, the more each of my fingers trembled.

It wouldn't be difficult to beat that gangster to the brink of death and drag Haewon
along with him. However… …So, will Yoon Hae-won like him? The question
dominating Tae-gyeom's mind entangled his reaching hand.

The old streetlight in the middle of the alley flickered a couple of times and then
emitted a dim light.

Haewon, who had been shaking her heart for a while as if there was no chance
of being hit, turned around without saying a word of greeting. Only the director,
who was almost hit, spat on the ground and glared at Tae-gyeom, who was left
behind. Taegyeom couldn't do anything. I didn't have the courage to face the
hatred, nor the courage to reverse it, so I was stuck there like a pumice stone.

A pair of slippers with torn toes illuminated by a streetlight at the end of the alley
the two people had come out of. That was the last greeting left for the hesitant
Tae-gyeom.
Machine Translated by Google

***

For the director, who remained attached to him like a leech even after a few
weeks, Banjiha was no different from his own home. After meeting Tae-gyeom,
he gained a strange sense of trust, and his words and actions grew harsher by
the day. He secretly treated Hae-won as if she were his lover. By rubbing her
dry back or massaging her bottom, he subtly touched Haewon, who hadn't
stepped through the front door day or night since running errands.

It was a shame that Haewon, who had been completely absorbed for most of
the day, didn't notice, and even Seungwan frowned. Seungwan, who was in a
worse situation, called the manager aside and told him not to do that too much.

"The map didn't say anything, so why are you being such an idiot?"

The answer came back. As I said, Haewon didn't resist. If he tried to scold her
or raise his hand, she would immediately flinch, and the sight of such an ordinary
guy sitting there unable to resist even once made the director strangely excited.
Machine Translated by Google

It couldn't have been more fun to look at the baby, rub his heated groin with the
palm of his hand, and scan his pale neck or bruised forearms with his eyes. Of
course, most of what happened happened while Seungwan was out or sleeping.
When Haewon is awake, he just looks at her, and when she takes sleeping pills
and is fast asleep, he uses his hands. As Hae-won let go of the awkward
situations, the manager gradually became bolder. So, the same amount of time
passed over and over again.

Haewon, who had a happy dream last night, finished washing the dishes,
crouched in a corner of the living room, and rolled up her pants.

I have a large scar on my knee. The round bone was tinged blue, and the skin,
which was so dented that the pink interior was visible, seemed to take a long time
to heal. Haewon was lost in thought for a moment as she squeezed out less than
half of the remaining ointment. Tae-gyeom's voice came through my tinnitus,
saying he'd be waiting for me because I could contact him anytime. I tilted my
head slightly, applied some ointment, put on a fresh bandage, and then smiled
slightly.

Now that… … . It was a statement that provoked nothing but laughter. As he was
already removing Taegyeom's blurred face and carefully applying the bandage so
it wouldn't fall off, an unpleasant commanding tone sounded in the narrow living
room.
Machine Translated by Google

"ey. "Ven aquí."

Since Seungwan was out of the house, there was only one person the
manager called. Haewon, who was throwing away the wrapping paper, looked
at the manager, who couldn't bear even that brief moment and was waving
his hands wildly. The manager, lying on the mattress, was engrossed in his
cell phone, which he had propped up horizontally.

Three or four bottles of soju were rolling around on the headboard of the
mattress. Haewon pulled her pants down to her knees and pushed out her
buttocks to approach the manager, who had been addicted to alcohol since
morning. As soon as I approached, the manager immediately raised his upper
body and wrapped his arms around my shoulders without saying a word.

Haewon lowered her head because she hated the rough stubble that brushed
against her cheek instead of heavy arms, but instead of letting go, the
manager placed the cell phone on Haewon's thigh.

“It must be fucking painful, but this bastard is standing here. Watching.”

Hae-won's eyes rolled back as she looked at the manager's notice, unable to
immediately understand what was being said.
Machine Translated by Google
"ah... … .”

My lips were rounded. A video played, showing pieces of flesh randomly

tangled up on my thighs. It was only then that the familiar noise that
reached my right ear became etched in my head. Soft moans coming
out when flesh slaps against each other. The camera panned between
the legs of a man who lay prone like an animal, holding his penis
between his buttocks. Every time my groin collided with my buttocks, a
thin liquid dripped from my stiff penis. As soon as I realized there were
two men tangled up in the poor quality of the footage, resembling grains
of sand, I broke out in a cold sweat.

“It’s good to do it later to relieve the pain in the anus…” … .”

The manager chuckled, unable to tear his eyes away from the video. I
didn't know why they were showing me this, and I couldn't find the
words to respond. I wondered if he knew what he was doing, but I
couldn't ask him. When I thought about the kids who openly watched
videos like that when I was in school, my mouth went dry, even though
I knew it wasn't surprising.

"because… … ."
Machine Translated by Google

All Haewon could manage was a vague question. At that moment,

the camera moved up and zoomed in on the red-faced man's face.
Unable to avoid eye contact between the camera and the screen, a
hand reached down to gently stroke my frozen shoulder and circle
my forearm.

“Isn’t it amazing? Oh?”

Haewon's eyes rolled back again, following the sound of the fabric
rubbing together. Sreukssuruk. The sound was too vivid to be heard
on video.
Finally, my gaze landed on the director's crotch. The moment I felt a
hand massaging my bulging groin, I jumped and stood up as if struck
by lightning. The sight before me went black in an instant, and my
legs buckled. A tingling pain erupted from my knee, where the wound
had yet to heal. At the same time Haewon fell awkwardly, the
manager's cell phone, which had been resting on her thigh, rolled
across the living room. A wail, almost like a scream, came out
nonstop from the fallen phone.

"Why? You're used to it, aren't you?"

The manager casually massaged Haewon's groin and tugged on the

surprised Haewon's wrist. The sallow-faced manager opened his
eyes and took Haewon's hand, who was lying down.
Machine Translated by Google

on the mattress, up to his crotch. To a place where the erect penis is clearly
visible.

Haewon's eyes widened as he looked down at his hands rubbing

against his pants. The feeling of someone else's flesh against my
palm was uncomfortable and revolting. I did my best to pull my
hand away and then looked up in confusion.

“Why, why are you doing this…? … .”

The manager smiled gently, as if dealing with an angry opponent.

“Well, fuck… … . If you’re not doing anything, I can touch you,

bitch. Do I have to pay?”

Haewon couldn't understand the manager's words and actions,

so she stared blankly. His bright eyes and lips were saying
something, but she couldn't understand a word.
I was dumbfounded by Manager Koo's shameless attitude, as if
he had to touch me for granted.

The director, lying diagonally with his back on the pillow, placed
his palm on the back of Haewon's hand and slowly rubbed his
genitals. He laughed crookedly, inserting the glans between his
slender fingers through the fluffy fabric of his pants.
Machine Translated by Google

“Try it as a service. I'll give you the money if you like it.”

“What, why, why… … .”

Haewon couldn't open or close her stiff hands and assumed an

awkward posture. She didn't even know that the wide-eyed, sad
look on my face was attractive to the manager.

“Stop acting so naive… … . “I know everything, moron.”

If I had acted like that, I think I would have made a lot of money
off the bums. The director stood up, his eyes shining.
I began to regret having only touched him while he was sleeping.
As the feeling of rejection faded, my hands became more urgent
as I grabbed my pants and pulled them off.

The pants that stretched to her knees were ripped off and fell to
the floor, and Haewon's hand was pushed toward the manager's
crotch, who was wearing only underwear. There was no will of
her own.

"It's hard for a bastard who sells his ass." Don't you have to pay
me for saving my life when I almost got screwed? "Let's take
just one step before the baby arrives."
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon touched the soft flesh with her fingers, but Haewon just stared at the
director with a dumb expression as she muttered strange words. "Me? What
are you selling?" The same words were repeated several times, and question
marks filled my head.

Meanwhile, the director, who had forced his fingers to

bending over, panting, and fucking her palm wrapped around the pillar. The
soft, wet sensation stained my palms. The moist glans protruded between my
thumb and forefinger, forming a circular ring.

Ah... … . Only then did Haewon's lips open slightly. The stickiness on my
palms, my foul breath, and my discomfort all came together and shook my
brain. Tae-gyeom's hand grabbed her head and put it between his legs, Hyun-
woo grabbed her waist and lifted her from below, and Seo Hae-young's every
word and action immediately explained the manager's attitude.

"Ah, fuck... … . "Are you good at sucking?"

The director, who had been concentrating on rubbing his glans between his
fingers, raised his head. Haewon looked at his cloudy eyes and heated face
and bit her lower lip so hard that blood was visible.
Machine Translated by Google

It was very difficult to escape, but nothing has changed.

When she twisted her wrist, her crooked nails scraped the director's genitals.
She wasn't aware of it, and it wasn't intentional. It's so scary to hide your
hands and take a step back! The manager screamed and flailed his arms.
Hae-won, who was hit by a new face that took her by surprise, fell sideways.

"Shit! I told you to put it on, what did you do? I can't do it for free, that's all.
Phew, motherfucker!

The manager, who couldn't even straighten his pants, yelled loudly. Hae-
won, who had been punched for the first time in a long time, covered her
nose in confusion.
Red blood trickled down and stained my palm. The blood that flowed from my
nose spread to my burst lip. The scent of blood lingered on my tongue, causing
my saliva to reflexively moisten. It's something I've experienced dozens of times
since I was young, but it felt strangely unfamiliar.

"Oh yeah. Here's the money, money! Damn, it's fucking expensive. Oh?"

As Haewon stared at her with open palms, the manager reached into his
pants pockets and threw three 10,000 won bills in her face. The bills fluttered
onto the pooled blood on the floor, and the manager hit me.
Machine Translated by Google

once again on the back of the head and pushed me in the

shoulder. Haewon, who hit her on the butt, trembled as the
director grabbed her by the neck and shook her.

Is this a dream? Is this a dream about being beaten and raped

again? This was a thought I had while I couldn't hold my head
upright, as if the bones in my neck had disappeared. As I blinked
and closed my eyes because I couldn't accept reality, the manager
grabbed my stretchy pants and pulled them down. As I clutched
the fabric, I was punched in the face.

Hae-won, who hid her face with her arms as the hand mercilessly
hit her with its fist, couldn't resist even once and her pants were
taken off and then her underwear was pulled down.

No. I'm not like that. A denial no one would believe burst from her trembling
lips. The director, who was sitting on the back of Hae-won's thighs, grabbed
Heo-yeon's back and pinned her to the floor, sucking on her fingers and
coating them with saliva. When a glistening finger entered between her
buttocks, Haewon, who had been murmuring the same words, trembled.

"Not exactly. Fuck off, bitch... … . The hole is like this, fuck… … .”

"demon… … ! Ah!"
Machine Translated by Google

The manager moved his hand and firmly grabbed Haewon's back, who was
screaming. It wasn't difficult to get in, perhaps thanks to the pranks they played
every night. The smiling director scratched his neck as if he'd been given
permission and rubbed the tender area.

“Look, you bastard… …. I told you not to stick your dick in her, huh?
I'm pissed off that you're showing up like this. Because this cheap bastard is
pretty... … .”

"Ah Ah Ah… … !”

Haewon, whose eyes were wide open, struggled and twisted her arm to push
against the director's knee. As I tore at him with my nails and pummeled him with
my weak fist, the drunken manager mercilessly grabbed my wrist and broke it.

My wrist, which was twisted in the opposite direction, snapped and twisted. My
mouth dropped open, and tears flowed uncontrollably.

A terrible time followed. Every time Haewon resisted, she was beaten on the
back. The director, who repressed people to the maximum, didn't feel the slightest
sense of guilt.
Immediately afterward, the manager frowned as he placed his penis against the
slightly open, throbbing hole. It was slippery, and the entrance didn't fit at all.

“Hey, shit… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

At that moment, the sound of entering a password rang throughout

the small house. The manager, who couldn't hear the sound of the
cover being lowered due to the groaning coming from the video
playing, fell on top of Haewon and tied her shoulders. Haewon, her
limbs dangling, let out a shallow sigh and shed only hot tears. This
has happened several times before. What's the difference? Haewon
closed her eyes silently, and the manager, who had placed the glans
in the hole, was about to push it in when the door opened.

“Brother, I went out… ….”

Seungwan was frozen in place, unable to close the door properly. It

was too late to realize.

“S-Seungwan… … .”

As soon as I made eye contact with Haewon, who was lying on the
floor with a bloody nose and tears in her eyes, my stiffness
disappeared. Seungwan jumped up without even having time to
take off his shoes, pushed the shoulder of the manager above him,
and yelled in an unusual way.

“Oh, fuck! What are you doing now?”

Machine Translated by Google

As Seungwan sighed in embarrassment, Haewon, who had been

released, crawled behind the hanger and pulled up the underwear that
was below her buttocks. Phew, Seungwan looked at Haewon, who
couldn't even cry out loud, and grabbed the manager's arm while spitting
out two curses.

"Hyung, I think you're drunk. Don't do this, just wait..." … .”

The manager couldn't get over his anger at having the hole removed
from his eyes and suddenly screamed.

“No, fuck! What are you drunk? Hey. Hey, what did I do wrong? I gave
you money, you bastard!”

Seungwan hugged the manager tightly and tried to calm him down, but
the manager started waving his arms and scolding him. Hae-won wiped
her wet face with the back of her hand behind the clothes rack and with
trembling hands pulled the bag off the wall. I have to get out. I can't live
here anymore.

“Ah, brother! “Enough, really!”

"Shit... ... . You won't leave me alone. I'll make sure you can never sell
your ass again. Oh?"
Machine Translated by Google

The manager, who had stopped Seungwan in the face with his fist, stomped his heel
and approached the hanger. In an instant, he grabbed Haewon by the hair and
dragged her away, dropping the bag she was holding in her arms. Things fell out of
the open bag and scattered everywhere. Haewon's hair was tangled and trailing, and
her eyes were spinning in all directions.

"Uh, uh... … .”

A tingling sensation surged through my bent wrist as I tried to pull the director's
hand away, but I didn't notice and crawled toward my bag. Hae-won, who was
hurriedly gathering things and noticing that some items were missing, raised her
head. My hands were shaking uncontrollably.

There was no white envelope in the house account book.

I don't even have a bank account. I took out my wallet and opened it, but all I
found was a 50,000 won bill.
The sound of labored breathing covered the tinnitus.

“My, my money… … .”

I turned the bag over and tried to shake it, but it wouldn't come out.
nothing.
Machine Translated by Google

Seungwan caught the manager, who had been acting calm lately
but had turned into a dog again, and yelled at him to calm down.
The basement, where the sun didn't shine, became a mess, and
Haewon sat in the living room, shuddering. It was chaos.

"Money… …doesn't exist. It's gone… ….”

The household ledger fell from my hand. Haewon looked up at

Seungwan, and Seungwan, who had suffered a nosebleed from
being punched, shifted his suspicious eyes to the manager.

“… … “Did your brother take it?”

“Fuck, was it just me? You’re selling that watch too, you son of a
bitch!”

The manager grabbed Seungwan by the collar and lifted his chin
shamelessly. Seungwan, who had stolen the blood, looked back
and forth between Haewon and the director with a puzzled
expression, then quickly shook his head.

"No, I haven't done it... yet." … ! No bro… … ! "Stop hitting me!"

Machine Translated by Google

The manager who had kicked the struggling Seungwan raised his
bloodied face and looked at Haewon. Hae-won, who had turned away
from Seung-wan, who was rolling around clutching his stomach,
looked at the staggering manager and shed tears.
I needed the money immediately to leave. Money to take the bus, a
taxi, and stay somewhere sheltered from the rain.

“Well, that’s not my money. Please give it back to me… ….”

I felt completely humiliated. The manager who approached me with

his sleeves rolled up had the attitude that he wanted to see the end of
this.

“This bastard… … . Whose money is this? Bar? Oh?”

The director was different. It wasn't the fear I felt for Seo Hae-young,
but the fear I felt for my father. Hae-won, who was hesitantly taking a
step back, ran to the bathroom with everything she could find in her
blood-covered hands.
As I closed the door before the manager entered, the thick darkness
and the sound of raindrops came like a wave and hit my unsteady
mind. My breathing suddenly deteriorated.

"Ah ah… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon closed the door and sat down, fiddling with the phone in
her hand. My phone, which hadn't been turned on since the day
I ran away, turned on. It turned on quickly, quickly. Haewon
shook the screen where the phone logo was displayed and
prayed fervently. As soon as the screen lit up, the battery at the
top flashed red as if it was about to die. As the kicks on the door
grew more intense, my limbs began to tremble. Even though I
was beaten to death, I fiddled with the glowing screen,
suppressing the desire to leave this place where the cold pierced
my bones.

Among the hundreds of calls and texts, I clicked on the one

above. I made a call and a name popped up, but I didn't have the
strength to figure out who it was. Tears were blocking my vision,
and my mind was fading.

Not even a moment later, the sound of a lock breaking was heard
overhead. As soon as I looked up, the door was kicked down.
Haewon thrashed forward helplessly, and her cell phone fell onto
the tile and flew far away. The manager who came in grabbed
Haewon by the hair again and dragged her outside.

“Hey, all right. Let’s watch you die today. Any assholes out there
who want to use a manhole? You’re screwed.”
Curse… … ."

“I don’t like it… … . I don’t like it, fuck… … !”

Machine Translated by Google

Haewon made a futile protest with a trembling voice. The fists that
had once been able to easily knock out a classmate had suddenly
dried up and were nothing more than an annoying hiss. The
manager threw the struggling Haewon onto the mattress and
grabbed the cell phone where the video had cut out. He stepped
on Haewon's head as she coughed and tried to get up, muttering a
curse. Getting kicked in the head every time I screamed was a
bonus.

“I lost it, damn it… … . I'll turn it over and sell it. Oh?"

As soon as the manager called someone, he said, "Oh, it's me."

Seungwan crawled on the floor and grabbed the manager's arm.
The manager looked embarrassed and became enraged, slapping
Seungwan.

"Won't you let go? Hey, son of a bitch! Don't let this go!"

"Brother brother... … . Go out first. Go out quickly... … !"

Haewon, who was writhing after being stepped on by the manager,

let out a gasp. I saw myself in Seungwan, who smiled through his
bruised face and said he'd call me when he sobered up.
Machine Translated by Google

“No, fuck! I! I gave that bastard money! Please let me go!”

“Ah, brother… … . Drink less, really. Don’t do this… … .”

Seungwan winked repeatedly at Haewon, who sat there,

absorbed. His chapped lips parted in a deadpan expression.
'Park.' My head snapped to the side following Seungwan's words.

A messy living room, rolling liquor bottles, and bloodstains. And

the front door was open. A cold wind blew through the front
door, which seemed to close.
The wind pierced my tattered household ledger and touched my
bare legs. Get up and go outside.

Haewon tried to get up from the mattress, stomped on the bag

at her feet, and ran toward the front door.

"¡Oye, bastardo!"

I ran, leaving behind the screams that followed me. My bare feet
crunched through the unmelted snow, leaving footprints.
Blood appeared on the new bandage on my knee. The intense
cold scratched my skin and tore at my hair. As I wiped my face
with my wrist, my cheeks ached, now swollen and stained with
blood and tears. I wiped my blurred vision with the palm of my
hand. I climbed the cement stairs and ran across the courtyard
of the old house.
Machine Translated by Google

The alley forked into two branches: right and left.

As Haewon turned her head, a white breath escaped her lips.
Seungwan's voice came from behind her.
It seemed the director had missed it. Startled, Haewon turned left.

Haewon ran, lifting her chin and wiping her eyes, toward the cold,
clear sky. The diluted blood looked like paint smeared on white
skin. And Haewon thought. Why do you always have to get hit,
why do you always have to run away, why do you always end up
like this?

It felt like a small stone was rolling inside my recently sprained ankle. As I took one
step at a time, it became heavier, and I felt as if my feet were sinking into the ground.

The stone Taekyeom left behind that day was despair. It's an
indication that the same thing will happen again today no matter
how hard you try to escape, and it's a rebuke to understand the issu

On one hand, Haewon denied the stone, but on the other, she admitted it.
No matter where I go or how much time passes, I won't stay in
this state until I stop breathing. I spent my whole life like this,
afraid of the sound of water, small spaces, cold tiles, and someone
who never came.
Machine Translated by Google

“Ah, eh... … .”

A sound like the howl of an animal came from a throat that couldn't find relief no
matter how much I screamed. I stepped into a small pool of melted ice and lifted
my heavy leg.
There was nowhere to trust, nowhere to help, nowhere to live.

I gasped as I ran as if possessed by a dead park no one controlled. The sunlight

streaming through the densely covered trees blocking out the sky was stinging
and painful. As I passed the muddy snow-covered bench, past the rusty fountain,
and onto the forest path, I collided with something.

"ah... … .”

It was a person. Haewon, who was on the verge of collapse, barely managed to
keep her balance when something hard hit her face and something hard hugged
her waist. Haewon, who was dragged away gasping, froze, unable to inhale or
exhale.

My feet floated lightly in the air after stepping on tree branches, cement, and small
pieces of trash. My heels lifted, and only my stiff toes barely touched the uneven
ground. It was warm. The wide embrace that embraced my frozen body instantly
melted the cold and covered my body.
Machine Translated by Google

Soon, Haewon couldn't hold it back and took a deep breath, and a familiar, inviting
scent seeped into her nostrils like a flood. The brain-numbing scent spread to every
corner of my body. As the two arms hugging my waist pulled me in tightly, a gentle
but cruel breath touched my red, frostbitten ear.

"long time no see."

The gentle tone gave a sense of relief, but on the other hand, it was also very
scary. There was a moan, immediately followed by a silent scream. It was a loud
scream that broke my heavy heart. A white hand ran down Haewon's spine as she
cried. The palm near my waist patted my back slowly.

"I guess I feel like seeing him now."

My limbs trembled at the incomprehensible words.

I could barely hear my toes touching the ground.
When a large hand wrapped around the back of my head, the swollen bridge of my
nose touched my broad shoulder. The arm around her waist tightened painfully,
causing Haewon to take a deep breath and bury her face.
Machine Translated by Google

The scent of Seo Hae-young, who broke up in late autumn and

found herself again in winter, penetrated deep into my lungs.
Machine Translated by Google

Chapter 6

Seo Hae-young appeared in a winter park, undisturbed, and her

charming scent, her tight arms, and her resentful voice were still
there. I was scared but relieved, and although I felt alive, I felt
like I was going to die. The conflicting emotions finally gave way
to an answer.

I did my best to escape, but I couldn't escape for even a

moment. I lived in Seo Hae-young's time, dreamed of Seo Hae-
young, and played in Seo Hae-young's palm. The past few
months flashed before my eyes in the short space of time I was
in her broad arms. Empty times when I simply wandered around
with nowhere to stay.
Now I wanted to live a proper life.

"as… … ."

A broken voice escaped my barely open lips. My bare feet

landed lightly on the floor, and my body fell flat.

Haewon unconsciously clenched her fingers as she tried to

grasp the hem of Seo Haeyoung's clothes and lowered her
head. As Seo Hae-young's scarred instep and shoes filled her
field of vision, a cell phone appeared in view. A familiar name
floated up.
Machine Translated by Google

at the top of the screen while talking on the phone for over 15
minutes.

Three letter name with black heart.

My cell phone, which vaguely explained the reason, was taken

from me, and a white hand reached out and grabbed my neck
and chin. Seo Hae-young lifted her face in her hands and silently
stared at her bruised and torn face.

Every time Seo Hae-young's gaze passed over his skin, a chill
worse than cold spread from deep within him. Hae-won looked at
Seo Hae-young, also trembling, and her jaw, which had grown
sharper over the year, and the reddish surrounding her eyes threw
a stone at him as his anxious heart pounded. Seo Hae-young,
who had been smoothing her raw cheek for a while, seemed
annoyed at first glance.

"What does this look like… ….”

The hand that moved up my cheek gently tugged at my jet-black

hair. Seo Hae-young, who was running her fingers through her
scalp and watching her hair blow in the winter wind, suddenly
stroked her forehead. A hand ran through the bangs covering her
forehead and grabbed a strand of black hair.
Machine Translated by Google

"ah... … !”

Hae-won, whose head was thrown back, quickly grabbed Seo Hae-young's
arm. Seo Hae-young's face blurred as she approached, her eyes narrowing in
pain as if her scalp was being torn off. Seo Hae-young looked closely at the
roots of her brown hair and let her black hair fall with a stern expression.

"What is this?"

His cold gaze swept over Haewon, who was trembling, her teeth chattering.
Mottled arms, blood-spattered T-shirts, bruised legs, and dirty bare feet. Seo
Hae-young, who last saw her toes pressing into grains of sand, grabbed her
withered forearm and walked toward the path Hae-won had run away from.

Hae-won tried to keep up, but couldn't keep up with Seo Hae-young's striding pace,
so she stumbled from side to side. As soon as I wondered where I was going, a
terrible dream came to mind. A terrible dream in which several pieces of flesh were
pushed into each other and each hole was torn. Haewon, whose face was distorted,
burst into tears and pulled at the arm that was held captive.
Machine Translated by Google

This is a person who will immediately hand him over to the principal.
He was a human being who would laugh while watching him get
beaten, and he would still be capable of doing so.

As I gasped and cried, the entrance to the park appeared, revealing a

basement with a translucent screen. The sensation of the director's
limp glans sliding between my buttocks ignited my resistance.

“I’m not going, I’m not going… … ! Don’t be like that! That bastard hit
me… … ! It hurts. I’m sick, Haeyoung… … .”

Hae-won bent her back and braced her legs to hold on, but instead of
stopping Seo Hae-young's footsteps, they merely dragged her along.
Seo Hae-young naturally headed for the courtyard of the house, as if
passing by a place she had visited many times. The manager's
phlegmatic voice, shouting loudly, echoed in front of the iron gate.

Several people were peering out of second-floor windows in a closely

packed residential area. Hae-won, who sensed hidden eyes peering
in for fear of sparks, immediately raised her head. She begged for her
life.
When the hoarse voice reached me, my gaze shifted, but I quickly turned my head
when I saw Haewon. When Seo Hae-young looked back, the eyes in the window
of this apartment disappeared in an instant. Then a dark curtain covered the small
window. This is a very common everyday life in this neighborhood.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon looked at the blackened windows one by one and barely

let out a shaky breath. Yelling didn't solve anything. As always.
Haewon opened her mouth with a strange expression and
screamed silently. Only the manager greeted Haewon upon her
return with an unwanted response.

“That bastard, son of a bitch… … !”

Haewon, who had been clinging to the dirty iron gate, stumbled
and was pulled in. The principal ran out into the courtyard covered
in dried cement and raised his red eyes.

"Bitch, you play with people!"

The director was worried about Hae-won, who was being dragged away instead of
by an unknown stranger, and quickly took a step back. I pushed away Seungwan,
who was hugging my waist, and stomped my feet. His determination to make sure
he never sold that expensive anus again was clearly revealed on his yaksha-like
face. Hae-won stamped his foot and swung the arm he was grabbing, but Seo Hae-
young didn't move.

"Let it go! I don't want to do it, I won't do it... … ! I won't do it... … !"
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young, who looked widely at the approaching

manager in loose underwear, Hae-won crying like he was in a
match, and Seung-wan crying on the stairs, immediately
stretched out her arms.

Haewon closed her eyes, thinking she was going to be thrown

onto the concrete patio, but she wasn't the one who rolled into
the yard. The loud sound of something falling and breaking
pierced my right ear, but my body was fine. Haewon gasped,
catching the breath that had hit her chin and slowly opened
her closed eyes.

The director was lying on the ground. Wide-eyed, I returned to

Seo Hae-young, the manager who had fallen and broken the
flowerpot the owner had left in the garden.

Seo Hae-young took her hand away from hitting the manager's
temple and took off her thick coat as if she felt uncomfortable.
Haewon stared at the manager being dragged by the back as
she unconsciously hugged the offered coat. Drops of red blood
dripped onto the white cement as the boss was dragged away.

As soon as I saw the blood, a dry cough erupted from my sore

throat. While wiping her wet face and coughing, Seo Hae-
young dragged the manager, who was unconscious from
hitting his head, downstairs and kicked Seung-wan in the
shoulder while he was unconscious. Nodding, she pointed at
the open entrance to the basement. Seungwan stood up.
Machine Translated by Google

Hesitantly, he turned his head towards Haewon, not knowing what

was happening, and received a slap.

"Stop looking."

"Who are you?" … ."

I had no idea how things worked. Seungwan thought so, but Haewon did too.
Holding my thick coat, I stared at the front door of the house with dry, tear-filled
eyes. When I turned my body slightly, drying my frozen feet, Seo Hae-young, who
had pushed Seung-wan's head into the room, looked back.

"Vamos."

When Seo Hae-young, who had dismissed the manager, stepped

back without being able to approach, he quickly climbed the stairs in
a clumsy manner. Seo Hae-young was panting and shaking her head
because she couldn't breathe properly, but Seo Hae-young wasn't the
type to listen closely. Haewon was dragged into a semi-basement
where alcohol bottles were lying around. The door to the small room,
which seemed cramped even with just the two of us, was tightly
closed so no one could get in or out.

"If you go out, you will die."

Machine Translated by Google

After leaving a quiet warning, Seo Hae-young walked into the living
room with her shoes on. Haewon shrugged and sat down, covering
her head. I was very nervous because I didn't know when they
would drag me by the hair, but Seo Hae-young's purpose seemed
to be elsewhere.

The moment I buried my face in my knees, the sound of crunching,

shattering, and being thrown, Seungwan's voice stopping me, and
the manager's swearing when he came to his senses all mixed
together. Add to that the sobs of Haewon, who couldn't bear to
watch and covered her ears, and Banjiha was a complete mess.

It was also difficult to flinch and be scared every time something

bounced off the wall and landed at my feet. It's gotten to the point
where my weakened mind can't bear it anymore.
The hands covering my ears were covered in cold sweat. The painful moment
that made me want to faint didn't end at all.

It's a dream. It's better to be a dream. I squeezed my eyes shut

and kept telling myself I had to wake up. Every time I rocked my
body back and forth, my curved spine hit the front door.

"Haewon."
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At some point, a soft hand gently encircled my wrist. Even as the hands
gently rocked her back and forth, Haewon held on without losing strength.
However, the time I endured was useless as my wrist began to swell so
much that it easily fell off my ear.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Seo Hae-young's back and the messy interior
of the house in a blur. Haewon, who had been forced to stand up, was
dragged limping with numb feet and sitting in front of the fallen hanger.

I tried to get up from the floor, but a white hand pressed my shoulder and
forced me to sit down.

"Shit… … . That's not all… … .”

The manager's slurred voice came from a short distance away.

Haewon raised her head in surprise and immediately thrashed her limbs as
if she'd seen a ghost. A man with his nose, mouth, and everything covered
in blood was sitting with difficulty, his upper body swaying. I tried to widen
my distance, but the force pressing on my shoulder only strengthened.

“Uf, eh... … !”

The director's attention blurred as sticky blood mixed with saliva dripped
from his lips. He was muttering something unintelligible and waving his
arms, and he looked as if he were making excuses or cursing.
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Just looking at that horrible sight was so painful that I stopped crying the
whole time.

“Ssipal… … . Well, I just wanted to take you with me… … . Protected land,
protection… … . Chew, huh… … ?”

Seo Hae-young didn't seem to particularly hear the director's words. Seo
Hae-young, who was rubbing her skin with her index finger as if the fabric
covering her neck was uncomfortable, opened her mouth.

“Did you touch it?”

It wasn't clear who was being asked. At that point, neither Haewon nor the
director could answer. Seo Hae-young looked at Hae-won, who was
contemplating, and turned away.

Seo Hae-young blindly slid her hand between her scarred legs and pulled
down her thin underwear.
Haewon, who reflexively closed her legs, weakly refused and tried to push
away the strong arms, but it was no use at all. The lowered underwear
was on her thighs, and the fingers that skillfully slid between her legs
pierced the hole and stirred the stretched inner wall as if testing.

Haewon, grabbing Seo Haeyoung's arm, arched her back and bit her lip.
As the sticky sound of the
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The sound of buttocks hitting the palm of a hand echoed in the

quiet room, the manager's blank stare and Seungwan's astonished
gaze fixed between Haewon's legs, which was making a sticky
sound. Hae-won, whose cheeks were turning red from her cheeks
to her ears, couldn't even move her shoulder from Seo Hae-young
and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Ugh, ugh… … . Ha, no… … .”

"Do you think I put something in it?"

"Money! I said I paid money. Fuck you!

The manager immediately yelled. Seo Hae-young, who was

ruthlessly searching for loose holes, slowly bit her finger and
stood up. I looked back and forth between the director, who was
still unconscious, and Haewon, who was covering her butt with
the hem of her T-shirt, and then took a step forward.

Seo Hae-young grabbed the desk stand and hit the manager over
the head without even saying a word. Wow!
He couldn't tell if the sound of the crash was coming from the
podium or the director's skull. The clumsy support slammed into
the manager's head without stopping, and blood sprayed everywhere
Every time the podium was raised, red blood splattered in arcs on
the yellow wallpaper.
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hit, the sound of crushing rang in Haewon's ears again.

Haewon's eyes widened and her lips parted, turning as hard as a rock. Her rigid eyes
rolled back in her head as the director fell to the floor before he even had time to
scream.

“Tongue, brother… … !”

Seungwan, who had been hit several times and was frightened, quickly stepped out
from around the corner and grabbed Seo Haeyoung's arm. Seo Hae-young, who had
knocked over the broken stand and whose head was shaking, kicked Seung-wan
who was hanging and picked up a wooden hanger that was lying around. Although
his short, shaved head was stained with blood and it was impossible to find a clean
spot, Seo Hae-young raised her hand without hesitation.

Seo Hae-young, who was holding the neck of the manager who was bleeding from
his teeth, was about to hit her head when her right leg felt heavy. My eyes rolled
back, losing all sense of reason. The moist breath coming from my cracked and
swollen lips warmed my thighs.

"Well, don't do that, don't do that..." … .”

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Haewon, who was hugging his legs, was trembling and shaking.
Every time that happened, the tears hanging from my eyelashes
fell. Her eyes, which were open enough to make out a faint
outline, were consumed by fear.

"What if I die… ….”

Hae-won, who was clutching her pants leg, made eye contact
with Seo Hae-young, who was looking at her with a serious
expression on her face. My lips trembled because I was so afraid
of that incomprehensible look. I was afraid of being beaten and
raped, but more than anything, I was afraid that Seo Hae-young
would kill someone.

As I leaned my cheek against his strong thigh and cried, Seo

Hae-young, who had been staring at me, lowered her raised arm.
When I threw away the fainted manager and turned my head, I
saw a relatively healthy Seungwan crouching in a corner. His
mouth was slightly twisted. There was one more.
I've never forgotten Seungwan walking up the stairs on a snowy Christmas day.

As soon as Seo Hae-young left the hanger, Hae-won hurriedly

approached the manager and hesitated, unable to touch her
carelessly. What if I die? Is she breathing? The boss, who was so
covered in blood that he was
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unrecognizable from his original appearance, he was slightly shaken. No

reaction.

"Uh, what should I do...? … .”

I placed my hand on my chest and lowered my head, but unfortunately, I

didn't have time to check whether I was alive or dead. When I saw Seo Hae-
young's back walking toward Seung-wan, my heart skipped a beat. Seungwan,
whose face had already turned green after being hit by the manager and Seo
Haeyoung one after another, repeated that he had made a mistake as soon
as they grabbed him by the collar. He was a better choice than the manager
who was drunk and couldn't make sound decisions.

"Just because I don't have a place to go... … . I had it for a while. Money, I'll
give it all to you. I'm sorry… … .”

“So you took good care of him?”

Seo Hae-young, who had spit out an insincere word, hit the immature Seung-
wan hard on the cheek. Seungwan's left face was hit several times with such
force that it damaged his face. Seungwan couldn't swallow the blood flowing
down his throat, so he gulped and spat it out as if he were vomiting. When
Seo Hae-young, who had held his head and forced him to bend over, touched
the ground, Hae-won, who was crawling with blood oozing from his knee,
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scraped, urgently intervened between the two and blocked Seung-

wan as if protecting him. Then he knelt down.

"Mover."

Gritting her teeth, Haewon quickly shook her head and breathlessly
blurted out an excuse.

“Seungwan helped me… … . Tea, how good! Very nice. Don’t hit
me because I’m a good girl… … .”

Seo Hae-young, who snorted, pulled Seung-wan, who was hiding behind her, by
the collar, and Hae-won quickly placed her palms together. I prayed, rubbing my
hands that were shaking uncontrollably. Uncontrollable tears fell down my trembling
chin.

“I, I’ll pray like this. I did it wrong. I did everything wrong… … . I’m
sorry, Haeyoung… … . I’m so sorry… … .”

Hae-won, who had been robbed of all his money and even the
watch he'd planned to use as a lump sum, prayed miserably as if
he knew nothing. Perhaps he's praying for Seo Hae-young, not
Seung-wan. I admitted my mistake without even knowing what I was
talking about. I arbitrarily used credit cards, didn't answer phone
calls, didn't reply to text messages, begged for all my sins,
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both real and nonexistent. There was nothing to be ashamed of,

nothing to be ashamed of.

“You were wrong, Haeyoung. Just take a look... … .”

Seo Hae-young knelt down and looked at Rain Hae-won with a disgusting
expression. Haewon Yoon walked in with her head bowed, but instead of feeling
good, she just felt dirty. He carefully went over her tangled jet-black hair, her
bruised eyelids, the light blood stained her nose and lips, and even her soaked
cheeks, then grabbed Haewon's hands as she made a squeaking sound.

“What are you begging for?”

Haewon, who was being held by both hands, pursed her lips and swallowed the
lump in her throat. As my hand tightened until it hurt, it wasn't long before sincerity
leaked from my distorted lips.

“If you kill someone… … . Then what should I do…? … .”

This Banjiha was filled with fear and intimidation, so he didn't have
the confidence to lie. As soon as Seo Hae-young let go of his
hand, he pressed and rubbed her knees and looked at her as he
always did. His expression was cold. Hae-won
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He carefully reached out his hand and touched Seo Hae-young's

dangling fingers, saying, "Please, please."

Seo Hae-young looked at the fingers intertwined with her index

finger. The back of my hand, where the skin had been peeled,
was pale. As I slowly shook my fingers precariously left and right
and lowered my eyes, my dark eyelashes cast a black shadow
around my eyes. Seo Hae-young, who had been silent for a
while, asked a question in a low voice.

“Who are you worried about now?”

The soft knuckles gently stroked the nail of the bloodless index finger. The
finger sank into the space and repeatedly applied force as if pulling out the
nail.

"huh? "Who's worried?"

While I was distracted by the escaping finger, someone else's

bloody palm lightly slapped me across the cheek. Haewon, who
couldn't keep her balance and was pushed away, wasted no
time in responding. The moment Seo Hae-young sighed, stood
up, and firmly grabbed Seung-wan's hair as he crouched down,
Hae-won, who realized the situation, urgently raised her knees.
Seo Hae-young, who had used her arms to pull Seung-wan out,
hugged her waist and gasped.
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"You, you... … I'm worried about you. Now, what if I get caught?
How do I live...? … .”

He stopped abruptly and came out in half-sentences that made

no sense as to what was being said.

Seo Hae-young narrowed her eyes and looked down. For a lie
meant to avoid a situation, it seemed quite sincere. Every time
Haewon, who was clinging to her lower body, opened her mouth,
her crotch was subtly pressed.

"Ugh… … , sorry, sorry for everything… … . Haeyoung… … .”

The hand tightly gripping the clothes, the soft voice that kept calling out the name,
and the way she rubbed her cheek while pretending to be innocent made me laugh
out loud. As she threw the barely breathing Seungwan away and laughed, Haewon
looked up with teary eyes.

Seo Hae-young pinched her cheek as she stroked her hair that
had been damaged by the strong dye. Although Haewon gained
weight, she only frowned slightly. I also watched carefully. It was
a different reaction from the video I'd watched hundreds of times.
Seo Hae-young slowly shook the cheek she was holding and
wiped her wet eyes. The blood was
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scattered and looked pretty dirty, but now it looked pretty good on Haewon.

“Stuck again?”

"eh… … ?”

Haewon straightened her furrowed brow and asked foolishly. The tinnitus
piercing both eardrums worsened, and I couldn't understand it quickly, but
Seo Hae-young didn't say it again. At first glance, all I could see was that the
monotonous tone of voice contained laughter. When a smiling Seo Hae-
young even wiped her face, Hae-won, who thought she was relieved, laughed
awkwardly. Her swollen eyes were busy following Seo Hae-young's trembling
lips.

"You never thought about me, did you?"

I couldn't read lips, so I laughed stupidly. Even when the tears falling down
my cheeks wetted them again, I didn't take my eyes off the curved lips.

"It's nothing to laugh about."

When Seo Hae-young released the arm around her waist and turned her
head, it was unclear whether she was speaking.
He slowly raised his neck towards Seo Hae-young, who was
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sitting in front of him, and let out a voice that even he could faintly hear.

“I can’t hear you well now… ….”

"It's nothing to laugh about, damn it."

The sloppy smile and laugh that came out like an idiot's seemed to clear up when
he faced Seo Hae-young, and then they bloomed brightly again. For Hae-won, who
was momentarily deaf, Seo Hae-young's facial expressions were the only language
she could understand.

Seo Hae-young was smiling. Since Haewon couldn't hear the whispering voice, she
thought the smile meant forgiveness.
I thought it was a smile that showed forgiveness for having been deceived and
abandoned, as well as forgiveness for mistakes that weren't understood or
committed. Then I nodded and smiled, not understanding anything, but I didn't know
it was another mistake. Unaware that I had upset Seo Hae-young, she shrugged her
shoulders and smiled weakly.

"I complain."

I opened my lips to say I was wrong and ask them to stop, but a large palm covered
my mouth. Haewon slowly opened her eyes as she felt the warm, soft skin of his
sensitive lips.
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Seo Hae-young's expression, without her smile, was colder than ever, sending a chill
down my spine. Her pretty lips parted slightly as she spoke, but Haewon couldn't
respond. She couldn't hear it, and there was no one to listen.

The cold water rushing up my collarbone swallowed my brain. The disinfectant-

scented water clogged both of my earholes, covered my eyes, and made it impossible
for me to breathe even when I opened my mouth. Haewon flailed her arms as if she
were submerged in water. A thunderous scream burst from her open lips, but did Seo
Hae-young hear it? The challenge of swinging her arms and screaming lost its power
as soon as Seungwan's forehead hit the edge of the desk. Seo Hae-young tossed
the fallen Seung-wan next to the manager and turned around.

“I told you not to do that. 'Keep going, over and over again.'”

Sometimes my ears would prick up. Seo Hae-young's voice was recorded repeatedly
getting louder as if the volume control was broken, then quieter with the sound of
ants. Every time Haewon listened
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voices that conveyed responsibility and blame, I thought, "Oh, then," and
unknowingly took the blame.

“You ended up like this because you didn’t listen to me.”

Well. It seems that way.

The legs draped over his broad shoulders trembled helplessly. The bandage
he'd applied that morning flapped as if about to fall off, and the healed
wound was spurting blood.

Seo Hae-young was starving. Haewon, with long arms around her waist,
surrendered in a stiff-limbed position. A wide-open groin, a pert waist and a tilted
neck, one hand holding Seo Hae-young's forearm because there was nowhere
else to hold it.

"Damn… … ! Ugh… … . Well, I did it wrong, oops… … !"

The top of my T-shirt hung off my chin and sometimes covered my face.
Seo Hae-young, with her
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Dry chest clearly exposed, licked and sucked the wounds he had made from
hitting, pinching, and scratching himself with his fists. The wounds left behind to
avoid thinking about Seo Hae-young were devoured one by one by Seo Hae-
young, who knew nothing. To ensure it was not dirty and creepy, they even
covered it with dark teeth marks. As the violent caresses poured out unilaterally,
the movements of the waist did not stop for a moment.

“Don’t squeeze it. Where did I get this habit?…”

“Uf, eh... … !”

Haewon, who had been hanging like a dead body, twitched her
entire body. It wasn't possible to easily receive Seo Hae-young's
penis through a hole that hadn't been used for several months, and
the only thing inside was a finger.
Knowing that the inner wall that squeezed everything from the thick
glans to the pillar was too rigid, Seo Hae-young raised her waist
with the intention of tearing the mucous membrane from the
beginning.

"¡Ah! Duele, ah... … !”

My head, which had fallen off the mattress, was tilted back. Every
time the thin mattress rocked, the top of my head hit the old floor.
Haewon turned her head, gurgling as the accumulated saliva
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accidentally went down his throat, and made eye contact with
Seungwan, who was crouching face down.
Seungwan, who took a beating instead of Haewon, was also
similar to the boss. I couldn't tell if the eyeballs trapped in my
swollen eyelids were so swollen I couldn't lift them properly, or if I
was simply losing my mind.

"Are you worried again? Are you afraid of dying?"

Seo Hae-young, who swept Jeon Hae-won's sweaty bangs so

hard it felt like she was going to pull them out, whispered into her
right ear. The questions mixed with labored breathing continued
until her shoulders hit the ground. Haewon didn't understand the
question and turned back, gasping. Movement was limited. The
part connected to Seo Hae-young, whose body was crushed, was
twisted. Blood began to rush to my head, which was thrown back.
I urgently grabbed Seo Hae-young's shoulder, but the soft fabric
slipped from my hand.

“Ah, ahh… … . Hello, Haeyoung... … .”

My groin tingled as he pounded me hard. Every time he shoved a

warm piece of meat in, a throbbing sensation hit my stomach. The
person who opened the hole and the person who actually used it
were different.
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“S-sorry… … . Ah, I did it wrong… … . Ugh… … !”

“Do you know why he turned out like this? It's all because you're acting like an
idiot... … .”

Seo Hae-young, who had only just unbuttoned her pants, forced out a
distorted sentence along with her veins. Haewon, who was stretched out,
let out a light cough as she raised her upper body, her chest exposed,
and her ribs exposed. Her hollow lower abdomen twisted, and the narrow
hole contracted to its maximum. It seemed as if she was about to cut off
his genitals. Seo Hae-young grabbed her slender waist with both hands
and pulled her close. Her arm that slipped and her head that couldn't
hold its head swayed like a doll whose strings had fallen off every time
the two people's groins touched tightly.

Seo Hae-young, who buried her face in Hae-won's chest, bit down hard
on the pale nipple with her fangs, forced it straight, and sucked it until it
hurt. My curved back stiffened, then trembled.

“Yes, mmm… … !”

The slimy tongue flicked and licked the erect nipple. I bit it with my front
teeth and then dug into the center with my sharp tongue. Haewon
naturally gave strength to her entire body.
The wrinkles that held his genitals contracted and the
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The hands gripping the thin mat spread across the mattress turned white. Her
blurred vision also flickered into pure white. When Seo Hae-young's thumb
pinched her nipple and pushed against her lower body, her stiff toes curled.

"Ah ah… … , ¡Puja!"

The projector is working.

I've been taking medication every day for the past few months. So I could
always dream. Nine times out of ten, it's a happy dream. It shows a glorified
past.
It also showed a happy future that could not come true, so Hae-won waited for
a dream from which her memories were incomplete after waking up.

And the other one. Even though it was just one dream out of ten, Haewon was
very afraid of it. Every hole was covered up, and verbal abuse and violence
poured out. Reality was vague. Seo Hae-young, Go Tae-gyeom, and Joo
Hyun-woo also appeared, and they were all Seo Hae-young. Sometimes when
I had a dream like that, I would wake up covered in sweat, but I couldn't even
afford to wake up and always ran to the bathroom. and… … .

"You look like a fucking whore."

Machine Translated by Google

I had to wash my underwear, which was soaked with semen,

ignoring the voice echoing in the empty space.
While crying, he hit his erect penis, poured cold water on it, and
masturbated until the skin peeled off. And I cried again.
I couldn't ejaculate properly even once, so I tried poking my back
with my fingers. Of course, they all failed. I shuddered in
embarrassment, poured cold water on myself, and began to
tremble. At dawn, while the manager and Seung-wan were fast
asleep, Hae-won was alone in the cold bathroom, consumed by the
past, and did everything she could to move on.

I've been working really hard all this time. Something seems to be
wrong.

Fire coursed through my bruised and injured body. The area where
I'd been bitten was hot, and my penis, covered in clear fluid, was
stuck near my lower abdomen. Hae-won, who had already grabbed
Seo Hae-young's forearm, was pushing her stiffly toward Seo Hae-
young, who was between her legs.

When I lifted my butt off the mattress, a thick penis was shoved
into my squeaky hole, and when I lowered my back, it popped out.
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halfway through. I couldn't even recognize what I was doing. Is it

asking for forgiveness or seeking pleasure?

“Ugh, haha… … , ah… … . I did it wrong… … .”

Before insertion, the lotion Seo Hae-young had carelessly applied

dripped in white chunks. Haewon, who braced her legs on the
mattress, gradually increased her speed and sought pleasure by
pushing the thick penis directly into me and pulling it out.

I liked the hard glans and the veiny penis pushing against the inner
wall. I liked the shadow cast over me as if it could block it all out. I
liked the scent that tickled the tip of my blood-dried nose, and I liked
the rough grip. I felt terrible, as if I were having a wet dream in which
I was being beaten and raped.

“Ah, Haeyoung, Haeyoung… … . Haha, yes… … !”

Seo Hae-young, who was biting her lip, let out a long sigh and laughed.

"under… … . Hey, hey. Haewon… … .”

Haewon swallowed her accumulated saliva and slightly raised her

waist to move closer and allow the penis to enter her.
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Seo Hae-young laughed heartily as she supported Hae-won's

back, who clung to her in an awkward, pitiful way. The thin carpet
creaked, and moans and groans tangled together in confusion. I
was shocked by the clumsy movement of the waist that was just
breaking the surface. My thighs, which had exerted all their
strength, trembled. The mockery returned as she tugged on Seo
Hae-young's forearm and panted like an animal.

"Okay? Fuck, do you like this?

"Dami, I'm sorry... … . Fine, I like it... … .”

Under the ridicule that made my ears ring, the tears that had
stopped flowing continued to flow.
When I closed my eyes and opened them, my vision was clear,
then blurred again. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes
and ran down my forehead.

The basement area was narrow and no light entered.

sun. The house was so small that the sound of skin slapping
against skin, as well as the sound of viscous liquids mixing and
the flimsy mattress springs creaking, resonated throughout.

Blurry eyes rolled back in my head. It was a small room that could
only accommodate three people, and the manager was seen
lying near the coat rack. My face was covered in blood. I wasn't
sure if I was still breathing.
Machine Translated by Google

When I turned my eyes slightly to the side, I saw Seungwan backing away
from the wall, his mind spinning. The only thing visible was his swollen eyes,
his hand covering his mouth as if he were holding back vomit. Seungwan's
shocked expression seemed pointless and also felt like reality. Haewon
blinked and opened her bloodshot eyes.

'Bastard!'

'This stingy bastard... … .'

'Don't you have to pay me for saving your life?'

Although no one spoke, the voices that remained in my memory rang like
bells. Fragments of memories, perhaps similar to the meaning conveyed by
those eyes, sank into my eardrums.

Superimposed over his red eyes was a boy in a blue vest, running and
panting. Seungwan's face, which sometimes behaved awkwardly, but his
immature smile made up for it, shattered for a moment. The previous
apparition was nowhere to be found.

"Ah, ah, eh..." … .”

Machine Translated by Google

Haewon traced the vague faces and kindness in her memory and stopped the
desperate movements of her waist. I suddenly came back to my senses. Where
is this place, how many people are in this room, who's watching, what happened
just now?

Haewon, who had fallen onto the mattress, looked around, her legs trembling
from the heat that wouldn't easily go away. The texture of the fabric in her hand
was vivid, and the breath coming from my mouth was hot.

Although my vision was a little blurry, I could clearly see the messy basement. I
touched my face. The skin touching my fingertips was very lifelike, and the penis
slowly entering and exiting at the tip and the opening and closing of the hole were
also vivid.

“Uh, what should I do, Haeyoung…” … . I, I… … . oh my god… … .”

“Why are you stopping?”

I couldn't hear anything. Hae-won made strange noises like "ah, ah," then
mumbled as she tugged on Seo Hae-young's arm.

What should I do now? I don't think I'm crazy. Here, in the house I used to live in,
doing this with you. Seungwan, his face looks like this, and it's so, so weird to be
like this in front of him. This is a dream, right? Fuck, this isn't real, is it?
Machine Translated by Google

"What is he saying now...? … .”

Seo Hae-young laughed and grabbed her by the waist. Cold sweat
soaked my back. Hae-won wasn't even cold, but her limbs were
trembling, and she was tearing Seo Hae-young's clothes off. I was
scared to death. Even if something goes wrong, it will remain
wrong for a long time.

Please answer me. Am I weird?

My mouth was wide open, but I couldn't hear my voice. The chill
that started deep inside me spread through my veins, and as I
muttered and clutched my chest, the back of my head was wrapped
in a large palm.

As soon as my stiff head touched the mattress, my heavy lower

body sank, and my penis was suddenly thrust into the hole. The
interior was filled with a penis that opened the narrow passage in
a strange way. My limbs, which had been trembling uncontrollably,
stiffened as if struck by lightning.

"Puy… … ! ah... … !"

Machine Translated by Google

Dirty feet kicked the twisted, disheveled carpet, and swollen labia opened
wide. Without time to adjust, my testicles, perineum, and buttocks were
crushed. As our skin collided dozens of times, the penis that had escaped,
leaving only the glans, entered all the way to the root. The sound coming
from my lower body was similar to a loud bang. The penis, bearing its full
weight, pounded relentlessly against Haewon's organs.

"Eh… … !”

“Listen carefully, Haewon… ….”

Haewon, eyes wide open, could only gasp.

There wasn't even a moan. The wrinkled inner walls trembled along with the penis,
which was slightly curved upward and buried deep inside. Every time Seo Hae-
young's cock filled the hole, the sensation of falling off a cliff hit me like a tidal wave.

"¡Ajá! Puaj… … , ¡ah!"

Haewon tilted her chin, gasped, and squeezed the carpet. My mind was so
filthy that even if my nails were broken and torn off, I would feel pleasure. The
moment I pressed the thick part located deep inside the glans, my pelvis
became wet. Every time the genitals
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They pounded, his bulging lower abdomen stained with the expelled semen.
Haewon twisted his ankle and a thin fluid flowed from his erect penis as if he were
incontinent.

"Well… …"Remember that."

Seo Hae-young pressed her slender shoulders together and frantically

thrust into Hae-won's organ, which had yet to finish ejaculating. As she
thrust her waist so hard that her testicles were thrust into the hot, wet
hole, her delicate, tear-filled eyes were hidden under her fluttering
eyelids.

“Oh, huh… … Wow… … !”

“The reason you became like this… ….”

Even after washing my eyes, I couldn't find a pure, gentle, and clean
appearance. He often cries, rebels, and seems stingy, so he seems
like he was born and raised on the streets.
As he grabbed the disgustingly vulgar-looking black hair, his formidable
expression was revealed.
Haewon, her pale face covered in dried blood and tears, exhaling hot breath,
called out my name in a hoarse voice, sending goosebumps across my cheeks.
Her brown eyes, unsure of where they were looking, darted around in all directions.
Machine Translated by Google

“Well, you were wrong! Ah! Phew, do it... … Kid… … ! Sorry, sorry,
stop… … !”

Because of this, I couldn't take it anywhere. Seo Hae-young curled her

red lips and pressed her slender shoulders hard enough to break them
and avoid strangling her slender neck.

“That’s because you didn’t listen to what I said… ….”

My closed fist trembled. Seo Hae-young turned Hae-won's head to the

side and kissed his bruised temple before biting his reddened ear. She
licked the bleeding stain on his tooth and whispered so I could understand
him clearly.

"look… … . "That's what happens to all the bastards who help you."

Seo Hae-young squeezed her eyes shut and slapped Hae-won across
the cheek as she cried. Look intently, open your eyes, and see what
you've created. Haewon's eyelids lifted at the movement of his waist that
seemed to pierce the skin of her stomach rather than the multiple blows
of his palm.

"If you worry about other people in front of me, you'll end up like that too.
Okay?"
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young's voice piled up in my deaf ears.

Hae-won, clutching her stomach, which was in an uncomfortable pain,
looked at the manager and Seung-wan with frantically trembling eyes.
An involuntary moan escaped my mouth along with a gasp. I felt
unfamiliar with my own voice, which I had heard for over twenty years.

It didn't look like it was done by a human being.

"and… …It just shows what a whore you are. "Like today."

Haewon, who was lying on his back listening to a voice that sounded
like something was being crushed, stared at Seungwan. Seungwan
and the manager were having sex with Seo Haeyoung, just three steps
away. She was screaming like an animal while being fucked by a man's
cock in front of two people covered in blood and unable to leave the
house.

I was excited, I felt it, it felt good. At that moment, when the penis
pushed against the organ in my stomach and entered deeply, a tingling
sensation erupted.

"Eh, eh... ... . Breathe... ... !”

Haewon hugged her stomach with both arms and bit her lip. But it
wasn't long before she started laughing and shaking her chest. The
tears continued as well.
Machine Translated by Google

flowing. It was painful. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't hold it back,
neither laughing nor crying. Even though I rubbed my eyes with the back
of my hand and covered my mouth, the laughter that burst from my
throat spread throughout the room. Painful laughter spread throughout
the blood-stained living room, the small bathroom, and the old kitchen.
Hae-won struggled with her legs and pushed against Seo Hae-young's
stomach.

"I'm big… … ! I'm all… … , It's my fault. Ah! Hey, Haeyoung… … . My

fault, ugh, I was wrong… … .”

"funny? "What's so funny?"

Seo Hae-young, who was not rejected at all, but instead lifted her hips
forcefully, caressed Hae-won's cheek, who was laughing with an
ecstatic expression on her face.
The melted lotion left a sticky texture every time the lower body touched
and fell. The lower bodies, emitting a popping sound, showed no signs
of separating, as if they had been born connected from the beginning.

“Why, big one… … . Why are you smiling, Haewon…? … .”

Seo Hae-young, who was inserting his penis deeply and then pulling it
out, also began to laugh as if it were contagious. Her blood-spattered
cheeks turned red, and a low laugh emerged.
Machine Translated by Google

"Oh, no… … . Hey, Joe, I like it… … . because I really like it…
… ! Sorry, uh... … .”

Haewon laughed and shed tears, even though it wasn't funny at all. I
couldn't keep my body still. She swung her arm and shoved Seo Hae-
young's shoulder, then pulled her back and brought her face to face.

Seo Hae-young's smile filtered through their newly collided lips. Their tongues tangled
and then separated, leaving a smile behind. The lips that clung to each other while
making a sound were annoying, and when I pulled away, lingering kisses fell on my
eyelids and the tip of my nose. Hae-won cried and laughed like crazy when she
received the kiss from Seo Hae-young, whom she had once longed for.

“Oh, I… … , I’m… … , No… … ! Ugh, ah… … !”

It's a dream. It's all a dream, and all you have to do is wake up and
wash your semen-stained underwear.
Haewon tore at her dark-dyed hair and let out a bitter laugh. When Seo
Hae-young grabbed her wrist as she tore at her hair, she smiled even
harder and pressed her legs together. It was so hard to smile that my
brows furrowed. I ejaculated as the penis entered deeply, and my intact
body trembled.
Machine Translated by Google

I did everything wrong.

How stupid to have been born like that.

Yes that's it.

The lips that were torn and burst into shallow laughter were wet with tears.

***

A reddish glow from the sunset fell on my naked body, which had become a mop.
It was embarrassing to see my groin, glistening and soaked with semen and thin
fluid, but I didn't have the strength to bring my legs together or feel embarrassed.
My eyes were open, but I was unconscious.

"If you receive a gift, you should open it. Think about how sincere people are."
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young's voice echoed from afar. A gift wrapped in

colorful wrapping paper was presented to her, but Haewon
couldn't seem to roll her eyes. Staring up at the yellow ceiling, I
let out a small gasp and shivered. The heat rising from the
recklessly opened hole couldn't be easily extinguished.

I felt as if my internal organs were damaged beyond repair

because they had been so wantonly destroyed. A thin trickle of
tears fell from the corner of my aching eyes and soaked the
wrinkled carpet.

There was a rustle of wrapping paper being ripped, and he peeled

off the shirt that was barely hanging off one arm. The hand holding
the thin shirt reached between my legs and half-cleaned the
messy remains. Every time the fabric brushed against the hole,
my buttocks clenched and tightened.

“With what I did once… ….”

After enduring a pathetic taunt, he put on new clothes. A

comfortable sweater and soft pants hid his scarred skin, but his
feet were still black and bare. Instead of buttoning his pants, Seo
Hae-young reached into his loose waistband and wrinkled his
nose as if he didn't like it.

"Getting fat. "That's not right."

Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young, who had put on new clothes without much

effort, stood up and turned around, already dressed neatly.
I grabbed Seungwan, who was gagging, and tried to talk to him,
but I could only see his blurry back and couldn't hear the
conversation. Seo Hae-young shook something in her hand, but
there was no way to recognize it.

Hae-won closed her tingling eyes, and at that moment, she felt a damn flicker. A
strange illness that jumps at will through time and space has begun again.

If I blinked my bloodshot eyes once, I was in Seo Hae-young's

arms, and if I blinked twice, I was passing through a narrow
alley. I blinked three times, and the blue slate roof came into
view. The icicle had long since melted away, leaving no trace.

Four times, I was in the back seat of a family car.

Five times I stood in front of a large mirror.

There wasn't time to check what happened to Seungwan or if

the manager was still alive. Maybe I don't want to think about that.
A feeling of guilt of unknown origin pricked my tear ducts. If only
I had confronted her instead of running away like that, if only I
had ignored Seung-wan's offer, if only I had returned to Seo
Hae-young on my own.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon couldn't break the bad habit of assuming moments had passed and
staring at the hair being cut.

The long, uncut hair that tickled the back of my head was neatly trimmed.

The mottled black color faded to yellow, then took on a similar color. The image
reflected in the large mirror was eerily similar to last summer. Mi-jeong, who has
been cutting Hae-won's hair for several years, whispered carefully as she removed
the cut cloth.

“Don’t you like it? Why do you keep crying…?”

Haewon, who always smiled with an embarrassed expression and talked in a low
voice about her current situation, shed tears silently the entire time she fixed her
hair.
Even if you're wearing just a dress shirt, you'll be shivering like you're standing on
a winter street in a cozy room. Mi-jeong took out a handkerchief and dabbed her
puffy eyes, then sighed and patted Hae-won on the shoulder.
Machine Translated by Google

I made a reservation by phone 30 minutes in advance, and I can't express how

shocked I was to see Haewon being dragged barefoot. She couldn't even walk
properly, and her pretty face was covered in bruises. The only consideration Mi-
jeong could give Hae-won, who was so frozen she couldn't even answer when she
asked who had beaten her like that, was to give her slippers and a warm towel.
The director in charge was a guest who had accidentally taken over when he went
to the main branch, but the vague feelings of affection he'd had for so long made
him act unnecessarily.

"Would you like my sister to do it again? "Do you want something to eat?"

Seo Hae-young, who was sitting on the sofa flipping through a magazine,
replied without even raising her head.

"It's because it hurts."

“I didn’t ask you… ….”

My ears were also bright. Since it was late, Mi-jeong signaled to the staff
who were secretly watching to get ready for work and looked at Seo Hae-
young with an awkward expression. Seo Hae-young's face was gloomy
from the fight. Comparing the two's physiques, Haewon deserved to be the
unilateral winner. Mi-jeong, who
Machine Translated by Google

He turned his back on Seo Hae-young out of concern,

pretended to fix Hae-won's hair, and asked in a low voice.

"Are your parents at your house? Would you like to make a

phone call?" "If it's difficult, I can do it for you."

Haewon, who was tossing and turning in bed because she

found it difficult to sit up straight, lifted her heavy head and
looked at herself in the mirror. Mijeong's frown was filled with
worry. Mijung didn't know what everyone else knew. Haewon
is homeless and has no parents.

“Is there somewhere I can call?”

Mi-jeong, who didn't know anything, asked Hae-won again,

who just bit her lip without answering.

Where to call. Haewon searched her dazed mind as hard as she could, but
all she saw was Seo Haeyoung and the people involved in this situation. It's
not that she hasn't thought about contacting a completely different place
where she can get help. She just doesn't remember anything after making the
call.

In her lack of imagination, Haewon hesitated for a moment,

wondering what to say, and then hung up the phone. No
matter how many times I thought about it, the things I couldn't
say kept coming out, and my throat felt tight.
Machine Translated by Google

My teary eyes rolled slightly. Before we knew it, Seo Hae-young had closed
the magazine and was leaning her chin against it. The moment I saw long
legs moving in the mirror and white hands resting on the sofa armrest, fear
gripped me.

"That's what happens to all the bastards who help you."

The head and Seungwan, who was covered in blood, were gently placed
on top of Mijeong. Haewon took a deep breath, moved her stiff neck, and
shook her head. Crack, crack. I felt like a broken doll.

"No no. It's okay... … .”

Hae-won smiled slightly at Mi-jeong, who had an uncomfortable expression

on her face. Nothing was right, but I had no choice but to at least pretend it
was. Seo Hae-young, who made eye contact in the mirror, smiled slightly
as if she knew it would happen. The smile she had worked so hard to create
crumbled unpleasantly.

I couldn't tell anyone and it was something I had to face alone. Seo Hae-
young smiled lovingly and pushed her back.
Machine Translated by Google

repeatedly. Without pause, toward the cliff, people... …

.

As the long day drew to a close, Haewon's body was boiling.

Even the soundless dust felt like a needle pricking my skin. As
I rounded the last corner, the white sneakers I was wearing fell
out from under the back seat.

Unfortunately, the bag she had taken with her on the short trip
was left on the passenger seat. It was out of reach.
That's all I have left, but Seo Hae-young didn't even give me that. As I lifted my
chin slightly, the buildings I'd seen passing by flashed by outside the car window.

When the vacation ended and I drifted onto Seo Hae-young's lap, I had a
destination. Home. My small house is cramped and dilapidated, but I've never
felt ashamed of it. However, even when I closed my eyes, the house that was
clearly drawn within my eyelids was no longer a space where I could hide. I
looked up at the sky that was beginning to turn indigo and lay down in a corner.
I didn't know where the destinationless fate was taking me.
Machine Translated by Google

Before I knew it, the backseat door opened, and a cold hand was
placed on my forehead. Haewon rested her cheek against the hand
that was caressing her face as if taking the heat away, blinking through
half-closed eyes and breathing heavily.

“Does it hurt again?”

"eww... … .”

When Haewon saw the bag hanging from Seo Haeyoung's arm,
Haewon instinctively stretched out her arm. However, no matter how
far she stretched her arms, her hands only stirred empty air. Seo Hae-
young, tightly gripping her dry, twig-like fingers, whispered softly as if
to comfort the distraught Hae-won.

"It's okay now. I'm home."

Haewon raised her head slightly, which wasn't working properly, and
looked around. It was a garage she knew.
I remembered the bus number I'd been riding on, snacks in my arms, the smell,
and the sunlight streaming through the window. Even on Seo Hae-young's birthday,
memories based on emotion were filled with filth.

Haewon murmured softly, rubbing her cheek against the cold palm.
Machine Translated by Google

My home isn't here. This isn't my home.

However, Seo Hae-young raised her warm body, covering the

back of her neck with a strange expression that made it unclear
whether she heard him or not. Haewon, who had exhausted
all her strength, leaned her forehead against her shoulder,
which was covered by a layer of thin fabric. I couldn't feel any
affection from the palm that caressed my back. Haewon could
slightly anticipate the words that would come out of that mouth.

"Let's take a shower and take some medicine."

It is complete ignorance.

***

Steam rose from a bathtub filled with clear water. The bathroom
light was on, but the door was firmly closed. Seo Hae-young
sat in an armless chair, splashing drops of water on her pale
face.
Machine Translated by Google

"Do you want to keep doing this?"

I didn't laugh, I didn't cry. It wasn't funny at all. But if I were to say it was annoying,
it wasn't. It was cute watching him clutching his sleeves with his white hands
without answering the question. If you just stand like that, he'll get scared and
attack you. Seo Hae-young really didn't feel like doing that, so she placed her arms
on the edge of the bathtub, rested her head comfortably, and fully admired the
face revealed under the bright lights.

The hazy-lit eyes tore away every detail of his heterosexual

appearance. Drops of water dripped from my wet hair and cracked
my bruised blue cheek.

Seo Hae-young poked her head out as if possessed, sucked at

the drops of water hanging from her chin, and then naturally
pressed her lips together. She parted Haewon's lips and pushed
her tongue in, as she didn't react in any way. They exchanged
silent breaths, brushing each other's teeth clean and wrapping
their soft tongues around each other, which were filled with
warmth. A tickling sound filled the bathroom as the soft flesh was
carefully attached and then removed.

He didn't want to leave my lips. Seo Hae-young placed her arms

on the tub, which smelled just as sweet as her paper, and caught
her slipping body.
Machine Translated by Google

“Hey, Haewon Yoon. Haewon. Do it, Won.”

He said my name and continued kissing me and tickling me.

He kissed her cheeks, nose, eyebrows, and forehead in no particular order, but
Haewon closed her eyes tightly and didn't respond. Seo Hae-young, stuck between
two crossroads of regret and frustration, felt her bare chest for no reason. The area
around her pink nipples was riddled with red teeth marks. I pinched and pulled the
red nipples, which stinged just by looking at them, with two fingers.

"Answer me."

Hae-won stood out to the point that it was noticeable, but she gritted
her teeth and turned her head away as if he were being stubborn
again. The reaction, which was so indifferent it was hard to even snort,
didn't stop the awkward teasing, it only encouraged it. Seo Hae-young
rubbed her protruding nipples and leaned her forehead against his
wet shoulder, not even noticing that her rolled-up sleeves were getting
quite wet. The faint sound of my heartbeat and the round flesh I could
feel at my fingertips were strange.

“Don’t you want to answer?”

I know Haewon is in so much pain that he can't respond. He didn't do

that and for the past few months he's been bothering me every chance
he gets. When I gave him medicine, I noticed
Machine Translated by Google

He clearly had difficulty holding his head up like a sick chicken, but when his eyes
opened and he turned gray, I didn't feel good about him at all. It was an indescribable
feeling. It was a kind of illness I couldn't handle on my own, and it didn't improve no
matter how much education I received.

In moments like this, I learned that following impulses always leads to bad results,
but when I was worried about putting my finger on the trigger, Haewon pulled it
herself.

In a brief moment, the arm that had hit the hand hovering over my chest sank into
the clear water. Just like now.

"Ah... … .”

I put my hand under his armpit, lifted him up, and warm water flowed from the tub.
While wiping away the moisture with a large towel, I grabbed Hae-won's forearm as
his knees buckled a few times and stepped out of the bathroom.

I entered a room with a bed big enough for two people and opened the curtains.
When I opened the tightly closed glass door, a cold wind was still blowing even
though the cold snap had passed. Without a second thought, Seo Hae-young threw
Hae-won onto the terrace where there was an ashtray.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon, who hadn't completely cleaned herself and was left

with a wet towel, was trembling and trying to raise her upper
body. Seo Hae-young stroked Hae-won's hair, as she looked
up with bleary eyes, and scolded her.

"Think carefully. “How should you act?”

"Chu, it's cold... … . It's so... … .”

Seo Hae-young roughly pulled the hair from around her fingers
and left the terrace, leaving Haewon behind, who was unsteadily
crawling. As soon as I closed and locked the door, my wet
hand hit the glass window.
Even that seemed to be too much for him, so he leaned his
forehead against it and began rubbing his hands together, not
even realizing it was his fault.

Seo Hae-young slowly bent her knees and sat down, her face
expressionless. A dark gallery was briefly revealed through the
thick glass window.

Fear gripped Haewon's face as she wrapped herself in a large

towel as best she could. As the sound of knocking on the
window grew louder, the lips that had been closed the entire
time parted.
Machine Translated by Google

in silence. Only then did Seo Hae-young smile a little and comfort her crooked lips.

“… …You can’t hate me, Haewon. You can’t do that.”

Blackout curtains obscured the interior. Haewon, trapped on the

terrace at night, struggled to open the thick glass window, but soon
gave up. I tried opening the window, which seemed to have been
locked from the inside and wouldn't budge, but my frozen fingers
only ached as if they were going to fall off.

The open terrace with its transparent fence drained my body heat
instantly. Instead of covering my body, the wet towel gave me a
chilling cold. However, it was a difficult situation because it was
impossible to get rid of.

“Haeyoung… … , Haeyoung… … .”

No matter how hard I pounded on the window with my red-boned

fist, the shade wouldn't rise. I remember lying in the back seat, but
the rest was a blur. I roughly rubbed my cold forearm to try to
capture the
Machine Translated by Google

consciousness that came and went. Even though I tried to raise my body
temperature, my teeth chattered and my knees trembled.

"It's very cold in here… … . Open it. I did everything wrong… … .”

It felt like someone was grabbing my head with both hands and crushing it with
all their might. I couldn't pinpoint where the pain was, and it felt like I was being
cut from my hair to the tips of my toenails. As the heat rose from my forehead, it
was difficult to even open my red, aching eyes.

“I-I'm sick… … . I think I lost my mind for a moment. I'm sorry, sorry… … .”

When she looked back, there was a wide open space where she could flee, but
Haewon leaned her forehead against the window that couldn't be opened and
walked away from her foolish desires.
Beyond this glass window, where nothing is expected and everything is fearful,
lies one's reality.

No matter how difficult or painful a situation is, if you go through it for a long time,
you'll get used to it. The harshness that began with her father and was passed
on to Seo Hae-young through strangers eroded Haewon soundlessly. The
boundaries that were defined as 'cheeks, head, and stomach' have now
expanded to places beyond our reach. She couldn't feel the violence.
Machine Translated by Google

as violence and couldn't consider abuse as abuse. That's how

Haewon, who had nothing, survived.

Haewon let out a weak laugh and repeated that she was sorry.
As if doing so would allow me to endure any pain.

The sound of a knock on the window behind the curtain echoed

in the quiet room. Seo Hae-young, who was sitting facing the
terrace, set the timer on her phone and rested her chin in boredom.
The hoarse voice that repeated crying and crying was blocked by
the thick glass window, emitting a muffled sound.

Seo Hae-young's eyes narrowed as the number decreased. The

hand placed diagonally across her knee patted the hard bone as
if pressing a piano key.
Although he seemed indifferent on the outside, he wasn't like that on the inside.

Ever since I was born, a prickly lump grew inside my body.

Normally, it would move quietly through my veins, but occasionally
it would burst, but when that happened, my eyes would turn red
and the back of my neck would feel cold. The prickly lump was an
impulse that was transmitted through the blood. I simply sought a
Machine Translated by Google

way to hide it, but I didn't feel the need to fix it.
Therefore, the family history of not only the parents, but also the
eldest Seo Jae-young, the second Seo Ga-young, and Seo Hae-
young became smelly and fetid as time passed, like water in a
puddle rotting.

Even now, that strange impulse burns in my head. As the urgent

knocking on the window grew quieter and the crying voice grew
weaker, a feeling of joy akin to nervousness filled me.

Even though I knew it wasn't time yet, I wanted to open that door.

Seo Hae-young, who had been suppressing her desire by

clenching her fists, discovered that wasn't enough and covered
her ears. That subtle voice had the power to shake people.
Contrary to my thoughts that it would be peaceful, as I immersed
myself in the tranquility of a pool, the desire took a more vivid
form and began to emerge.

I want to warmly hug and soothe Yoon Hae-won, who's shivering from the cold,
but I also want to submerge his head in ice water. I want to touch those long,
straight limbs and bend them to the point where they hurt. I want to kiss your
knee, which has a small scar, and then scare you like I'm going to crush it at any
moment. Those brown eyes that put people in a strange mood are perfect when
you look into them with trust, but I want to hurt you so I never see you like that
again.
Machine Translated by Google

When I thought about Haewon Yoon, everything was contradictory.

It's always been this way. Not since the summer I first stuck my penis in a shallow
hole, but since the beginning of a long relationship.

A loud alarm shut down my overactive imagination. The imaginary Haewon, damaged
to the point where it was difficult to move, was scattered far away. When I checked
my phone, it was as if I had cut time, and twenty minutes had already passed. Seo
Hae-young, who was once again staring at the back of her hand, finally got up
belatedly.

I opened the curtain and knocked softly on the window. Haewon, wrapped in a towel
and huddled together, slowly raised her head. When I met the pitiful gaze of lifeless,
willless eyes, my long fingers twitched and flexed.

As soon as I lightly turned the handle, the terrace door, which hadn't opened no
matter what I did, suddenly opened. The night air mercilessly ruffled the two people's
hair. Haewon's upper body swayed and tilted slowly along with the strong wind.

A warm forehead touched the dry white instep, and a colorful breath that flowed from
the parted lips tickled my skin. Hae-won lowered her head in the position
Machine Translated by Google

lower and his lips brushed the top of her foot. Seo Hae-young looked down and raised
her voice, which had already calmed down.

"Have you thought it through?"

The tears hanging from my long eyelashes dripped and ran down my cruel feet.
Haewon, lying like a dog, kissed her beautiful skin and awkwardly begged for
forgiveness. Her frozen tongue spat out a slurred sentence. Stupefied, I gathered
words that would please Seo Hae-young and muttered them.

Saying I'm sorry, that I was wrong, that I like you, that I only have you.

The meaning was please save him, but I don't know if it came across well. As soon
as a hand passed under my armpit and lifted my body, I felt extremely dizzy.

Seo Hae-young threw Hae-won, head thrown back, onto the bed and removed her
blouse, which had damp sleeves. When I dropped my heavy jacket on the floor and
closed the window, the dim light coming from the hallway faintly illuminated the bed.
The light reached the chest, where reddish marks remained, and the dark-colored
bedding and scarred body created a strange contrast.
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young had no intention of pretending not to notice the

increasingly strong pull on her lower abdomen. I climbed on top
of Haewon, who was shivering, and instinctively pulled the blanket
up to warm her up, pulling it away.

"ey. Haewon”.

The eyes, hidden in shadows, were distorted with pain. When I

lowered my upper body to Haewon, who was shaking her head
as if worried, she frantically curled up in my arms, seeking some
warmth. The arms urgently hugging my neck and the bodies
lifting my waist were like ice. As I brushed against her cold skin,
she began to tremble and rub her cheeks. Seo Hae-young
pressed her thick, erect lower body against Hae-won's groin and
warmed her frozen ear with her lips.

"If you do it right, this won't happen to me either. Don't make me

angry."

He leaned his weight on her skinny body and left light teeth marks
on her thin chin. Instead of answering, Hae-won nodded violently
and brought her hand, which was frozen blue and didn't warm
easily, to her mouth and blew on it. He didn't seem very sane.
Seo Hae-young took her hands, which were trembling even as
she
Machine Translated by Google

were together, tightly, and continued talking while biting the middle finger that
was sticking out.

"We're going to get tired of seeing this now."

When I lowered my lips to Haewon's blank eyes, wondering if she couldn't

remember the words I'd said a few months ago or couldn't hear me, she
shuddered and squeezed them shut. Seo Hae-young laughed and kissed her
thin eyelids before sliding her lips to the tip of her red nose. The erect penis,
clearly outlined against the comfortable pants, pushed against Haewon's
perineum as if it were finding its way. Seo Hae-young naturally massaged the
hand she was holding and added slowly, but very quietly.

"At that time… … . "I was a little excited."

The smile, like a veil, concealed sincerity. The mischievous laugh was so
gentle that even the person speaking to him was fooled.

***
Machine Translated by Google

Just three blocks from the bustling university district, a quiet

neighborhood feels as if the world has turned upside down. Compared
to the neighborhood where the two grew up, the only difference is that
there are many empty houses at the end of a residential area. The
house, which had walls so high that even if a person died, no one would
notice, looked as if Seo Hae-young's original home had been reduced
to a smaller size after removing unnecessary elements.

So Hae-won, who came to meet Seo Hae-young in an unfamiliar

neighborhood, quickly became attached to her. The only thing was that
the interior was too clean due to the original owner's taste, so it seemed
boring.

Except for the dressing room and the bedroom, there are empty rooms
that look like warehouses and an empty living room with nothing to do.
Haewon, who had set foot for the first time in what at first glance
seemed like a new home, had doubts and asked carefully. I wonder if
my sister took all my luggage. Seo Hae-young, who was holding a
laptop and leaning against the headboard of the bed, shook her head
and gestured.

“When I get angry, I destroy everything. So I probably wouldn't have left

it at all.”
Machine Translated by Google

At that moment, Hae-won thought Seo Hae-young was very kind compared
to her older sisters. I lay face down next to Seo Hae-young, who was talking
as if it were someone else's business, and looked around the bedroom. A
large bed in the center of the room, tall bookshelves along the walls, and a
desk where I could do simple work. A boring room didn't suit Seo Hae-
young very well.

Hae-won, who was lying face down on his arms, looked at her profile
tapping on her laptop and then made eye contact with Seo Hae-young, who
turned her head. As I stared at him so intently that I let out an awkward
smile, Seo Hae-young reached out, found a piece of paper with small letters
printed on it, and handed it to me.

"To study."

Suddenly, Haewon picked up the pencil and looked at the paper lying on
the blanket. Even though I'd stopped studying for a long time, I felt safe
pretending to. Unless it was all written in English. The only things I could
make out were the numbers and the alphabet, so I turned it upside down
and held it up to the sunlight to see if a different picture appeared, then put
it back on the blanket.

Haewon, who had written her name at the top, thought about it and stabbed
Seo Haeyoung in the arm with the back of her pencil.
Machine Translated by Google

“Tell me anything in English. It's easy.”

It was a game I played primarily during my school days. As soon as she

raised her elbows and assumed a stance, Seo Hae-young opened her mouth
and continued writing without asking any questions. Listening carefully to the
low voice, I found the correct alphabet and drew a circle in it.

Dog, apple, sadness, school, bug, book.

It was still easy and I found all the words.

"storage."

The next moment, the pen moving smoothly across the paper stopped.
Storage? How do you say storage in English? I rolled my eyes and thought
about it, but I couldn't think of anything, whether it was because I graduated
from school or because I was a brainiac. I was embarrassed to say I didn't
know, so I drew a meaningless square in the corner of the paper and waited
for Seo Hae-young to say another word to me. However, the pleasant voice
didn't reach me, and the calm sound of writing ceased.

"¿No sé?"
Machine Translated by Google

When I raised my head slightly, Seo Hae-young, who had stopped holding
her hand, was quietly looking down with her eyes closed. Haewon, who
had slid the pen over, couldn't help but let out a faint smile as she stared. I
felt very embarrassed, but I wasn't born smart. This was a fact that Seo
Hae-young knew clearly.

“… …Something else.”

Then, just as I was about to ask for something as simple as a cat, I heard
a snap and a burning pain hit my forehead. Ah! Haewon clutched her
forehead and stared at the retreating hand with wide eyes. As I laughed in
bewilderment, Seo Hae-young, who had hit me out of nowhere, smiled.

"If you don't know, you must be right."

"I just… …“Are you just doing it?”

"¿No soy?"

Seo Hae-young, who shrugged and followed her witty comment, spat out
a new word before she could protest. Haewon wandered around looking
for the alphabet without realizing it, and before she knew it, the clean paper
was littered with small circles. As soon as I won
Machine Translated by Google

confidence, the difficulty level, which was that of elementary

school, gradually increased. Haewon's forehead instantly filled
with reddish marks as she uttered words like "consultation,"
"reinforcement," and "coordination" that would be difficult to
explain even in
Korean.

My forehead was hot and tingling, but oddly enough, I burst into a
fit of giggles. Before you knew it, Seo Hae-young had closed her
laptop, laid her head down, and settled in for the night, the paper
a mess, even the warm spring breeze blowing through the open
window. Seo Hae-young's new space was so full of fun things that
they came flooding back to me without time to stop.

It was like a rising tide. It came to me suddenly, and I definitely

felt happy.

The wide bed that had once evoked innocent smiles with just a
piece of paper and a pen now accepted sudden movements
without a single creak. The cold dawn illuminated the bookcase
filled with books. Haewon tore the blanket with her veiny hands
and let out a stifled sigh.
A scream that seemed to scratch my airways came out mixed
with a cough. My numb neck eased, but more pain awaited me.

“Ah, uh-!”
Machine Translated by Google

His head was tilted back, and his trembling thighs tightened around
Seo Hae-young's waist. The hand that had been strangling him a
moment ago quickly shook his erect, throbbing, yet soft penis, and a
thin liquid began to flow out. What I saw before my eyes was bubblegum-
colored. I couldn't tell if he was crying or moaning, so he didn't have
the presence of mind to face Seo Hae-young's laughing face.

"Joo Hyun-woo said something good to me, right?"

"Ajá… … !”

Seo Hae-young painfully grabbed Hae-won's waist and pushed against

her genitals, while she struggled between pain, pleasure, and moans.
As the penis deepened, the semen that had come a while ago was
expelled through the hole that had expanded to accommodate the
volume.

“Your fever has gone down a lot… … . “It’s not hot anymore.”

"Ugh, big... … . Come on… … !"

Seo Hae-young measured the temperature by inserting her index finger

into the hole and patted her bruised buttocks. As if you'd done a good
job.
Haewon trembled, holding the shallow boat. My body,
Machine Translated by Google

who was slowly recovering, could not bear it and suffered small
convulsions.

It's been two weeks since I walked into this house. It was normal morning sex.

Just fine.

I heard the sound of clean nails hitting my forehead.

My back trembled.

Just one more time.

"I should have studied… ….”

"Do it whenever you want."

“Will you pay my tuition?”

"If you like."

Haewon raised her trembling hand and gently touched her forehead, which was
clean and unbruised. Even though nothing touched me, it hurt a lot, like I'd been
hit with a chestnut.
Machine Translated by Google

***

My torn lips healed. The blue bruises covering my cheeks and eyelids turned yellow
and then sank beneath my skin, and new skin began to grow on my scraped knees.
Her carefully arranged hair fluttered gently whenever the wind blew, and a scent
similar to Seo Hae-young's gently emanated from her body.

Haewon, who seemed clearer than ever, skipped down the steps every time she
opened and closed her eyes. Unless you told me what day it was today and what
day it would be tomorrow, I had no idea, and I didn't really care. I stopped thinking;
I looked at the world with dreamy eyes, as if I were walking in a dream. If you can't
escape or don't have the confidence to do so, you have no choice but to obey.
Machine Translated by Google

The hot air from the dryer penetrated every corner of my scalp.
There were times when it felt hot, but instead of saying it hurt, her
soft lips closed slightly. Seo Hae-young brushed back her dry hair
and turned off the dryer, resting her chin on her dry shoulder.

In the full-length mirror, I looked at Haewon peacefully held in my

arms, then buried my nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled
her scent. Even though I was using the same product, somehow
a different aroma came out. The rich scent that seeped into my
nose wasn't bad. I parted my moist lips, gently sucking on the skin
left by the handprints that didn't disappear easily.

“Keep in touch, eat well… ….”

Although Hae-won pointed out each task to be performed, her

dark eyelashes drooped, her eyes fixed on the empty floor, and
she was lost in thought. Seo Hae-young clicked her tongue lightly
and touched Hae-won's forehead. The fever that had plagued her
for so long had subsided, leaving only a warm trace, but her eyes
were still dazed, as if feverish.

Seo Hae-young slid her hand and placed her two fingers together
right in front of Hae-won. Haewon, who was so surprised that her
shoulders bulged as she thought, raised her head.
Machine Translated by Google

"I told you to do something."

Hae-won, who had been mesmerized for a moment, stared

obsessively at Seo Hae-young's lips in the mirror and bit her lower lip.

My left ear was having trouble. After much suffering, Haewon lightly
rubbed her ears, which couldn't pick up even the slightest sound, and
let out a weak voice. I carefully pulled out the information Seo Hae-
young pointed out every morning. The instructions given while drying
my hair were generally similar.

“Well, after eating… … . Calm down… … .”

"That is not."

It was a cold tone. Hae-won, who stopped mid-sentence, quickly

looked back and made eye contact with Seo Hae-young, who had a
sullen expression on her face. "I'm sorry," which has become my
habit, came out first.
Just as I was about to ask him to say it again, a short laugh broke out.

"I'm just kidding. That's right."

Machine Translated by Google

The hand that had been forcefully pinching my stiff cheek fell
away. As I massaged my cheeks, which hurt so much I was
crying, Seo Hae-young stood up, organized the dryer cord, and
placed it on the table.

Hae-won raised her palm to discreetly touch her uneaten ear,

brought her disheveled legs together, and rested her chin on her
knees. Last night and this morning, my buttocks ached from
overwork, but this position was the most comfortable against an
unfamiliar chill.
Even after I got rid of the lingering feeling of dawn, it didn't go
away easily, and my fingertips began to tremble. It got worse day
by day. Is Seo Hae-young getting more skilled, or is she turning
into, as someone said, a cock-crazed slut?

"What do you want for dinner?" "I think I should get it."

As Seo Hae-young took off her shirt while heading to the changing
room connected to the narrow hallway, the scars from where her
nails had scratched his back were noticeable.
Haewon hid her disfigured hands under her elbows, which didn't
match her muscular back and forearms.
When she was strangled, new wounds were created that she didn't even notice,
but Seo Hae-young didn't say anything. As if that were okay.

Seo Hae-young's true intentions were still ambiguous. I thought I

was going to get beaten up every day,
Machine Translated by Google

But it was like before, except when we had sex. Some gentle, some
hard... …Just like I loved you.

"Huh? What do you want to eat?"

A bird, deeply in doubt, had a white finger tickling its ear. Seo Hae-
young walked past as if petting a pet and put on a dark-colored coat
in front of the mirror. Haewon, who had nothing else to eat, gave a
slightly better answer than "anything."

"Everything is fine... … .”

"¿I?"

The question that came out of nowhere stopped me from speaking.

The trivial, gentle joke instilled embarrassment. When Seo Hae-
young, who was fixing her hair, hesitated and couldn't answer
immediately, she burst out laughing. What was so funny?
The corners of my eyes widened and I laughed heartily.
I hurried out of the hall and looked back.

"Say goodbye."

Hae-won, who followed Seo Hae-young when she left the room first,
slowly stood up and limped behind her. I grabbed the handrail of the
stairs, leaned my
Machine Translated by Google

weight on it and carefully went down step by step, looking at the man who
was going down in front of me.

The clothes were light, as if indicating that the day was getting warmer,
but they weren't comfortable. From one day on, I had no idea what Seo
Hae-young was doing when she went out in a fancy suit and was out of
the house for more than half a day. Did she take advantage of her aptitude
for hitting people, or did she start working at a company Haewon didn't
know about?
Since the person involved didn't tell me or ask me, it was natural that I
didn't know.

Instead of leaving immediately, Seo Hae-young put her hands in her coat
pockets and looked at Hae-won, who followed her to the front door.
Haewon, dressed in dark blue pajamas that were just the right size and
revealed her white bare feet, looked pale. Her color rarely returned and
she grew increasingly somber, but she had an atmosphere that stimulated
people in her own way.

After mentally timing it, Seo Hae-young leaned in slightly instead of taking
off her loose pajamas at the entrance. Haewon held her head, which was
almost turned to the left, and lowered her eyes. Their lips moved closer
and maintained a close distance between them, as if they were about to
touch or not.

"Oh, try it."

Machine Translated by Google

A soft voice rang out. Haewon opened her lips just enough to fit a
couple of fingers. Soon, lips with a refreshing scent gently brushed
against my flesh. A red tongue briefly grazed the space between
the barely touching lips. The center of my palm itched.

Hae-won, fists clenched, shared a childlike kiss with Seo Hae-

young in the entrance hall where not even the sound of their
breathing could be heard. It was a very brief kiss, but it was a
strange goodbye, with time passing so slowly.

Seo Hae-young, who dropped her slightly swollen lips, looked at

Hae-won's body with a worried expression and then quickly turned
around. The view behind me as I walked out the front door without
a word of greeting looked like a tall, solid wall. A huge wall that
can't be broken or climbed.

As soon as Seo Hae-young left, Hae-won lived the day as planned.

It wasn't a big deal if she didn't follow through, but she no longer
had the strength to endure any unfortunate events that might
occur. Simple, boring routines quickly seeped into my hole-ridden
mind.

First, eat individually wrapped meals in the refrigerator, take a

picture, and text it. Of course, it was hard to eat it all, so half went
in the trash. I take out a handful of tissues and cover them up.
Machine Translated by Google

that people don't notice what I've thrown away. It didn't seem to have been
discovered yet.

Second, weigh yourself immediately. You shouldn't measure it right after eating,
as this will increase your weight.
Haewon compared the numbers on the electronic scale with the numbers written
on the note. 500 grams more than a week ago. Haewon wrote down today's
weight on the note Seo Haeyoung posted, brushed her teeth, and climbed the
long stairs.

Third and finally, kill time. This was the hardest task of all. When I opened the
tightly closed door next to the bedroom, a spacious room filled with sunlight
appeared. Home theater, video and board games, comics, and all kinds of Blu-
rays. A room filled with nothing but entertainment was a space that had never
existed before.

A few weeks ago, when I had a fever and couldn't regain consciousness, it was
also the spot where Seo Hae-young pressed a game console into my hand. I
couldn't bear to smile at her brightly smiling face, as if asking for a compliment.
She seemed to think I was crazy for this, but only Seo Hae-young knew she was
trying to like me more because she wanted to be with her.

Neither the games, nor the movies, nor the dramas were fun.
I put on a movie whenever I could, and after an hour, I took a picture and sent
another text message. The responses
Machine Translated by Google

They are usually slow when I go out, but today the confirmation
was quick.

[Write five impressions]

Haewon, who was lying on the rug with a beanbag, rolled her eyes as soon
as she saw the reply. That's because I only played it but never saw it. As
soon as I straightened my upper body, two texts arrived in quick succession.

[I'm joking]

[Enjoy]

Haewon, her mouth drooping, wordlessly raised the window and read each
and every text message exchanged. The tasteless jokes included in the
photos reporting on the day often made my heart sink. Although we don't
know much about Seo Hae-young, one thing is clear: she enjoys making
fun of people like this.

Haewon, lying on a beanbag, cried a little even though she wasn't sad
about anything else. I cried even while eating a normal meal at an empty
table, and I cried even while watching a movie I had no interest in. Seo
Hae-young hated crying, so she wanted to cry as much as she wanted.
Machine Translated by Google

when she was alone, but she didn't know why she was crying, so
she became depressed again. Haewon spent the whole day going
around in circles, constantly beating herself up and falling into
depression. Such was life without purpose.

***

Did you fall asleep crying? Haewon, who was lying on the carpet
without a blanket, woke up from a nap due to a bright light shining
on her eyelids.
As soon as I got up, Seo Hae-young turned on the light in the room
and came in, frowning.

"I told you not to take a nap. That's why I can't sleep at night."

I must have slept so long that the window outside was gloomy. I felt
dizzy from an untimely nap.
Haewon, rubbing her struggling eyes, looked down at her hands,
which weren't holding pre-packaged dinner items, but several
shopping bags. Since he was such a temperamental guy, it wasn't
really surprising.
Machine Translated by Google

“Aren’t you saying hello?” “Aren’t you happy?”

Seo Hae-young threw a shopping bag onto the wide carpet,

carelessly took off her coat and jacket, which were soaked by the
cold wind, and rolled up her shirtsleeves. She kicked the shopping
bag as if bothered by her striding foot. Seo Hae-young, who was
sitting so close that her knees were touching, finally reached eye
level. Haewon stuttered slightly as she tried to say hello quickly.

“Have you been there?”

Suddenly, a greeting appeared that hadn't been used for several

years. "Welcome" would have sufficed, but it said something odd.
Hae-won wiped his cold, sweaty palms on his pants and looked at
Seo Hae-young.
Fortunately, Seo Hae-young laughed and picked up the fallen
shopping bag.

"I'm not your dad."

"I made a mistake… ….”

"Who's fucking my son?" "Disgusting."

Machine Translated by Google

It was a bad joke. As soon as her expression hardened, Seo Hae-young,

who made eye contact and smiled, whispered as if to seduce her.

"Do you like that?"

Haewon shook her head frantically. Seo Hae-young shrugged as if

disappointed, and instead of pestering her further, handed her the
shopping bags she had lined up in a row. The stiff shopping bags came
in different sizes and colors. Some had familiar brand logos drawn on
them, and there were also shopping bags without any pattern at all. Seo
Hae-young took Hae-won's hand, which was looking at her questioningly,
and placed it on top of the largest shopping bag.

"Desátalo".

"Woe, está bien..." … .”

It was a polite thing to say when receiving something. However, Haewon's

"Okay" didn't mean she was accepting an excessive gift; rather, she
seemed hesitant because she didn't know what to expect.

And since Seo Hae-young had also seen Hae-won for a long time, she
wasn't so bored that she couldn't recognize the meaning of his
expression. As her scarred fingers played with the black tape, her
Machine Translated by Google

lips, which had been raised just enough to reveal something pleasant, parted.

"Why. 'You accept it from Go Tae-gyeom, but you don't like it from me?'"

It was a name that came out of nowhere. Haewon raised her head to see if her ears
were having trouble again, but then she pursed her lips. A look that went beyond
discomfort and seemed disconcerting settled on my face without hesitation.

“What do you pretend not to know?”

“I didn’t get any of that… ….”

Haewon, who reflexively abandoned the joke, straightened her back and then
slumped, clearly revealing her mistake. The hand that withdrew from the shopping
bag only grabbed the hem of my favorite pajamas. I had a watch that I kept as an
emergency fund, but I met Seo Hae-young before Seung-wan could return it to me,
and I don't want to think about anything after that. The answer may be in the bag
that has disappeared since she entered this house. Unfortunately, the only thing I
recovered from my bag was my cell phone.
Machine Translated by Google

By any chance, did you bring a watch? I may have mentioned the
watch's origin, but I don't remember anything.

“Didn’t you get anything?”

"ah... … .”

Haewon hesitated and rolled her eyes. If you say one thing, quite a
few things come out. The day I received the watch and various stories
about Taegyeom. Even if nothing else were known, it was clear it
wasn't a story that would please Seo Hae-young. Hesitantly, Hae-won
raised her chin, her gaze tangling with his eyes, which had a calmer
glow than expected. Perhaps because I was still half asleep or because
the early fear had paralyzed my thoughts, the person in front of me
had a different atmosphere than before.

The eyes surrounded by long eyelashes had a simple kindness, and

the beautiful lips said in a gentle voice, "Huh?", as if they were willing
to listen to anything.

"Say it. "I'm not trying to say anything."

As my sensitive nerves began to unravel, my stomach, which had

never hurt before, began to hurt. Haewon wrapped her arms around
her stomach and swallowed the saliva pooling on her tongue.
Machine Translated by Google

Dealing with Seo Hae-young was similar to walking on a floor littered with
thumbtacks. The pace was slow as I kept my heels up and dodged the sharp pins,
and I ended up stopping in place for fear of being stabbed in the foot at any
moment. I often walk aimlessly, not knowing which path is right, and find myself
faced with countless choices, and now that moment has arrived.

Would you rather speak up and get hit, or not speak up and get hit even more?

Being hit was fine. However, I was afraid of being trapped on the terrace or in the
bathroom, so I had no choice but to tell the truth instead of lying.

“Well, I got it… …I was trying to sell it. I never opened it, and that was it…”

I wanted to add that Taegyeom had slipped it into my hand, but my stiff lips closed
on their own. If you make excuses that don't work, you'll be more right. Hae-won,
who was gritting her teeth and preparing to be hit, looked at her hand, which didn't
rise as time passed. Then I looked at Seo Hae-young with a puzzled face. Are you
angry? Or is it okay to tell the truth? It was an expression that couldn't be guessed
at all.
Machine Translated by Google

"Would you like to sell what I gave you?"

Seo Hae-young raised her eyebrows and asked a playful question.

Haewon immediately shook her head and raised the corners of her
mouth. It had been a long time since I laughed, so the smile on my
face was awkward. As soon as she saw the ugly expression, Seo
Hae-young laughed and reached out her hand.

“Burn with me when I die. I'll see.”

The hand that touched my ear crushed the soft bone. The hand that
pinched my earlobe and then went down my neck reached the collar
of my pajamas. It was a natural touch, as if I were touching with
nowhere else to put my hands. Haewon, who couldn't shake the
uncomfortable feeling, quickly pulled the black ribbon and asked for
permission.

“… … “Can I open this?”

Seo Hae-young, with a reluctant smile, waved her hand as if her

efforts to change the subject had worked.
Haewon quickly unwrapped the package before another word left
her mouth. As soon as I pulled the black box out of the shopping
bag with the ribbon untied, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. The
familiar logo and the weight were similar to what I'd been carrying
on my back the whole time. When the lid of the box opened, Haewon
looked
Machine Translated by Google

inside without understanding and let out a belated exclamation.

It was an artificial and unnatural admiration.

"nice… … , nice. thanks… … .”

"¿Te gusta?"

I should have said I liked it, but my throat caught. The gold frame,
leather strap, and watch face, all identical to the one Seungwan was
wearing, gleamed in the bright light. Seo Hae-young took the watch
from Hae-won, who nodded firmly and rolled up the sleeves of his
loose pajamas.

"That's right. "It was hard to find."

The cold metal surface brushed against my skin, and the tight watch
chain squeezed my bony wrist. The hand holding the watch moved
away, looking aesthetically pleasing from the back of my hand to the
tips of my fingers.

"I suppose you have eyes to see."

Although the subject was ambiguous, both people represented a

person who wasn't present. The pain, like a needle being stuck in the
stomach, was getting worse, and the next gift was prepared without
time to rest.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon unwrapped the package with trembling hands and unwrapped

it again. As the crumpled packaging and empty boxes piled up, cold
sweat formed on my forehead.

Clock, clock, clock again. It was all clockwork.

They strapped watches with different straps, different colors, and

different sizes around both wrists. Seo Hae-young, who put the fourth
watch on her wrist and straightened her waist, was no longer smiling.

Seo Hae-young knew everything. Everything, from what you know to

what you don't know. It would have been better to say something, but
Seo Hae-young repeatedly clenched and unclenched her wrists with
two watches. Sometimes she wanted to know what was going on in that
head, and other times she never wanted to know.

When the white back of her hand covered hers, Haewon felt as if that
part had disappeared. A strange imagination, with nothing below the
wrist. Fantasies taken to the extreme gave rise to even worse and
crueler imaginations. The afterimage of the body being cut up was
superimposed on her arm, like a staple in the horror movies we always
watched together every summer. Then, the area covered by Seo Hae-
young's grip suddenly grew cold.

"eww... … !”
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon, surprised, twisted her wrist. As soon as my eyes fell on

me, my heart started pounding like it was going to jump out of my
head. Haewon, who was fidgeting, quickly twisted her hand forward
and stretched it out. The pain in my stomach worsened as I drew
my knees up, but I did my best to hug Seo Hae-young's neck and
bury my face in her trembling forearms. I was scared because I did
it unknowingly, but I had to open my mouth.

“I really, I… …I only have you. There’s no one around now, it’s just… …You know
that. I’ll listen carefully. I, I listen very well. Even if you hit me, it’s okay… … . Don’t
be angry… … .”

They say that if you repeat the same thing over and over again,
you'll subconsciously believe it, and Haewon began to vaguely
understand their meaning. For some reason, I feel like I've fallen
into an empty plain, and the only person standing next to me is
Seo Hae-young.

“Haeyoung, don’t be angry… … .”

Old friends who took turns holding their breath always said that.

“Haewon. “Be smart.”

Machine Translated by Google

It wasn't bad. My brain is messed up, I don't have anything I'm particularly good at,
I don't have a hill to rub against, and I can't even hear very well anymore. Even if
you work hard, how much can you earn? If you want to buy this watch, you'll
probably have to be prepared to starve to death. If you think about it that way, maybe
living like this isn't so bad. It might be a little difficult, painful, and heartbreaking,
but... … .

I wondered if it was right to think this way, but I didn't want to

delve any further. As Haewon's desire to escape her boring
thoughts grew stronger, she clung to the fragrant embrace that
had a faint scent of cigarettes mixed with it.

Soon, the dangling arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me up. The wrapping
paper under my knees crumpled and made a rustling sound. When the hand
holding her hip moved, Hae-won suddenly sat on Seo Hae-young's thigh, and a
conflicting sense of relief washed over her.

"Is this it?"

A hand moved up along her waist and gently separated her upper
body. The sinister gaze and low whispers led Haewon to the path
she needed to take. I slowly bent my head and first kissed her lips.
Machine Translated by Google

that instilled fear. When Seo Hae-young's tongue was pushed into the
naturally opening gap, the sound of slippery flesh smooshing together
caught in Seo Hae-young's mouth, and she accepted it willingly.

"And… … ."

We took advantage of the space where our lips parted to take a breath,
and then met again, sharing a shaky sigh. The hand that had been
touching the shell of my ear and caressing the back of my neck came to
squeeze my waist, demanding more. When the sun rose and set, the
beginning and end of the day were always the same, so I couldn't help but
notice its significance.

"Mmm… … .”

Seo Hae-young rested her body on the floor with one arm and leaned back
relaxedly. Haewon slid her hand in, continuing to rub and tangle her
tongue. With trembling hands, I unbuckled my belt and unzipped my
zipper, and a horrible bulge of erect flesh grazed my knuckles. As soon as
I lowered my drawers a little, as soon as I grabbed my protruding penis
with both hands, the hand inside my stretchy pants spread my buttocks.
They pushed their finger into the area where the aching, tingling sensation
wouldn't go away. Although they spent a lot of time together in a space
where they could touch each other at any time, their touch
Machine Translated by Google

Today he seemed impatient. His hands urgently rubbed each

other's sensitive areas, generating heat.

“Tsk… … "¡Paj!"

Haewon flinched every time his long fingers randomly poked at

the stuffy insides, and he quickly shook his tightly guarded arm.
The part located deep inside, so I couldn't reach it with my fingers,
tickled me with learned pleasure.

Hae-won, whose lips fell open with the sound of sucking and
releasing, almost collapsed, resting his chin on Seo Hae-young's
shoulder and letting out a shallow moan. Even the slightest pain
turned into pleasure. The two fingers that had reached the end
moved back and forth inside the inner wall, and the hand that
was jerking the thick penis stopped each time.

“Ah, eh... … !”

"Do it right."

The heated voice was more forceful and slower than usual.
Haewon forced her eyes open and rubbed the reddish glans with
her thumb. A slippery liquid oozed from the tip of the penis, where
I could clearly feel the pulsing, and my fingers became sticky and
wet. As if this weren't enough, the lower body, which had been
separated, moved closer, and there was hesitation. Seo Hae-
young got off.
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her pajama pants and looked ready to throw her out with nothing.

“Haeyoung, shit… … . Haeyoung… … .”

If it breaks, you won't be able to sit properly. Haewon, who had lifted her collapsed
upper body, leaned back slowly.

"Why again…" … .”

Seo Hae-young, who had lost the ear she'd been nibbling on, responded vaguely.
Haewon, unable to make direct eye contact and ducking her head, began by
asking permission as was her custom.

“Well, even if you do it with your mouth first… ….”

As soon as she heard a small murmur, Seo Hae-young relaxed her wrinkled
forehead, brushed Hae-won's hair, whose cheeks were turning red, and asked
in a low voice.

"Do you want to suck it?"

“… … eh."
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I had to wet it so it would hurt less when I put it on.

As I nodded helplessly, I heard a light chuckle. Fingers slid
through my hair and guided me downward, gripping it in a
slightly awkward position.

"If you want to do that, do it."

It was as if he was being nice to someone who was crazy about

sucking him off. Not knowing when he might change his mind,
Hae-won got up from his knee and fell between the legs of the
arrogant Seo Hae-young. The room was brightly lit, so my erect
penis was clearly visible. When I brought my lips to the tip and
licked it with my tongue for a long time, a low moan flowed into
my right ear. After sucking the tip of the shaft, I opened my lips
and gently hugged the glans.

The first time I sucked someone else's penis, I couldn't get over the embarrassment
and cried a lot, but now I feel like it's normal. The piece of meat sliding down my
throat wasn't unpleasant, and my aching jaw was quite comfortable.

"Ajá… … .”

Haewon relaxed her jaw, throat and tongue and pushed his
penis deep inside her body, moving
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slowly her head. When the glans touched the roof of my mouth
and uvula, I reflexively flinched, but quickly found my way in and
pushed it down my throat. The saliva that pooled in her mouth
dripped down the length of her tilted head. I grabbed Seo Hae-
young's thighs, but the soft fabric of the suit slipped through my
hands. In the end, Haewon, who had placed her hands carefully
on the ground, gave strength to her cheek and sucked it in with
the simple intention of keeping at least one foot out if possible.

“Phew, wow… … . defective… … !”

Haewon, whose cheeks were deeply hollowed, sucked the penis

hard, making a loud sucking sound. Seo Hae-young stretched
her long legs and bent her upper body, tilting her head crookedly
and looking down. As the brown nape of his head between her
legs rose, her lips tightened around the spine, and as it came
down, her moist upper hole swallowed his glans.

"And… … ."

Hae-won, who was able to swallow everything on her own without

having to press hard on her head, felt her prone back twitch and
tremble as her nose touched and pressed against his groin.
Rather than saying it was painful, it was a reaction as if she felt it
while sucking someone else's cock.
If you take off those pants, you will definitely see a big
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amount of fine semen oozing out of your soft penis. At first glance, a strange
feeling arose when I looked at my face, as if checking if I was sucking
correctly.

It's true that I didn't feel very well. If I see people continue to tell lies, I can't
help but feel angry. Hae-won, who had a habit of gently flirting with people,
wasn't that bad, so it seemed like she was gradually drifting away. Seo Hae-
young sighed and grabbed Hae-won's hair to pull Hae-won away, who was
sticking to her like a leech.

"Eh… … !”

The saliva dripping from the red tongue moistened the glans.
Haewon, whose penis she was sucking was withdrawn in an instant, looked
up with sad eyes.

“Stop and put it in. Don't use any measure.”

"Oh yeah… … . Sorry… … .”

Hae-won, who quickly wiped his wet lips with his sleeve, carefully grabbed
the penis that couldn't ejaculate and climbed onto his thighs. As Seo Hae-
young turned around and slightly pulled down his pants, Seo Hae-young
continued to play silly jokes, such as pinching his nose and playing with his
lips, and didn't offer the slightest help. Since the
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Most of the sex consisted of Seo Hae-young unilaterally

suppressing him, the position where Hae-won sat on top was
unfamiliar to him.

After hesitating, Hae-won put an arm around Seo Hae-young's

shoulder, raised his knees, and aligned the tip of his penis, which
had become slippery from too much saliva, with her hole. I took a
deep breath and slowly lowered my body. As the thickest part
opened a narrow path, wrinkles formed between my brows.

"Eh… … , ah… … .”

Hae-won, who opened his biting lip, hugged Seo Hae-young's

neck with both arms and sat up completely.
My stomach was completely full. Maybe I put it on too hastily, but
the itchy area suddenly flattened, and goosebumps appeared on
my tailbone and up my spine.

"Peace… … !"

Haewon, her face buried in his warm embrace, trembled and

brought her knees together. I barely reached the point of
ejaculating, but the taut pajama fabric was soaked. My dizzy
vision flashed brightly. Haewon clutched the dangerously low
water, held her breath, and slowly straightened her back.
He twisted his arms and touched the ground in a position similar
to Seo Hae-young's, then gritted his teeth and raised his buttocks.
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Disgust, self-destruction, relief, and shame were all intertwined in an

unrecognizable mess.

"Puy… … . ah... … !"

The groins of the two people, whose buttocks and genitals had been removed,
quickly came together and then separated. The sound of clothes rubbing
against each other was slightly louder than the sound of skin rubbing together.
The position of facing each other and overlapping bodies was more awkward
and stimulating. Hae-won, who wasn't allowed to close his eyes, had to look at
Seo Hae-young with his back tilted at an angle.

My dizzy mind became even more blurred when I saw the slightly parted lips
letting out a sigh, the half-closed eyes, and the smile on the face. The face I
loved, the scent I loved, and the smile I loved. The fact that there was still a
feeling of dirtiness that could be dismissed as past was proven by the fact that
the penis was erect and throbbing even without even touching it.

As Seo Hae-young's breathing became heavier, the glans, which was covered
in a clear liquid, became moist.

My head, which had been wobbling, fell back. The speed of my descent
gradually increased, and my arms and thighs, on which I had exerted a lot of
force,
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They trembled. A thin semen flowed from the tip of the penis that protruded beyond
the elastic band on his thigh.

"ah... … , pig… … !"

The blackened vision cleared. Haewon, feeling helpless, let out a deep sigh and
looked at the joint.
The penis, surrounded by an inner wall that tightened and loosened on its own with
the lingering effects of ejaculation, was still hard. It was a disaster.

“Yoon Hae-won, premature ejaculation? I’m disappointed, really…”

Laughter erupted. It was an irrefutable fact. Seo Hae-young laughed while playing
with Hae-won's genitals. Hae-won lowered his head, reached into the scattered
shopping bags, and pulled out a black ribbon a little thicker than his knuckles. A
large hand holding a ribbon shook it as if masturbating a dead penis.

Haewon, her shoulders hunched, couldn't overcome the overstimulation that

followed as soon as she ejaculated and cried. It seemed gentle, but every time my
calloused palm persistently rubbed against my skin, an unbearable pleasure arose.
Machine Translated by Google

"Oh, it hurts... … . It hurts, Haeyoung... … .”

"Hold on tight."

A painful moan escaped Haewon's teeth as she clenched her teeth,

eyes tightly closed. When the dark pink penis was half-erect, Haewon
felt a slippery sensation on her sensitive area and slowly lifted her
eyelids. My tear-filled eyes opened wide for a moment. A black ribbon
was wrapped from the base of the penis to the tip.

“Why, why are you like this…? … .”

I felt embarrassed and grabbed Seo Hae-young's forearm as she tied

the final knot, but the response she received seemed abrupt.

"Since it's so cheap, I'll help you."

"ah... … !”

As soon as the knot was tied, my erect penis was so tight that it felt like
it was going to burst. It was an unbearable pain. Seo Hae-young
touched the glans, which was already starting to turn red due to the
rush of blood, and
Machine Translated by Google

He smiled willingly as he unbuttoned his pajamas one by one.

“If you work hard, I’ll play with you tomorrow. Okay?”

Haewon, who was crying while looking at his genitals tied with a cute
ribbon shape, looked up tiredly.

“… … “Aren’t you going somewhere tomorrow?”

"Why. "Do you want me to go?"

"Fight… … ! duel… … ."

Seo Hae-young caressed Hae-won's dry chest and then pinched her
protruding nipples, flicking them back and forth and asking playfully.

"Or should I do it while I'm being beaten? 'I can't wake up tomorrow.'"

Seo Hae-young licked Haewon's nipples, which had become thicker

than before due to the amount of sucking, pulled down Haewon's
pants that were hanging uncomfortably on her thighs, and adjusted
her posture.
When I placed the hand with the watch on my lower abdomen and
separated my knees a little further, I was in a
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good position to look at him. Seo Hae-young, who was lying

comfortably with her head on a beanbag, rubbing her prominent
ribs, raised her waist slightly as if to respond. As Haewon's weight
increased, the glans, which was lodged even deeper, pierced the
swollen inner wall.

"Peace… … !"

“Do you want to leave tomorrow or start now?”

A large palm hit my trembling thigh. As Hae-won's delicate skin

immediately heated up with the red prints of his hands, there was
only one option for Hae-won, who was faced with a limited number
of choices.

The peak was falling. My shoulder, which was covered in teeth marks from this morning, was
soaked and glistening with sweat. Haewon sat with an expression as if in a state of ecstasy
and hugged his genitals deeply. The pain felt in genitals that couldn't ejaculate was stronger
than the pain coming from a hole that never rested. I thought I'd squeezed out all the tears I
had today, but they simply overflowed without drying.

“Ahhh… … ! Quickly, haha… … . Haeyoung, please… … .”

Machine Translated by Google

Since all she could do was eat, cry, and sleep, Hae-won, whose muscles had
already begun to tense, struggled as she tugged at Seo Hae-young's shirt. The
urge to rest and the urge to ejaculate mingled, and she didn't even know what
she was asking them to do quickly. If she tried to take a break, he'd lift her up
from below, and if she tried to loosen the tape tightening your genitals, he'd grab
your wrist and twist it. Haewon, helpless, cried and hoped Seo Hae-young would
quickly wrap her arms around her and let her go. It was difficult even to sit with
my knees up, so I had to awkwardly turn my back as if she were rubbing me, but
there was nothing embarrassing about it.

Seo Hae-young's lips parted as she looked at Hae-won, who was moaning, her
eyes, cheeks, and even the tip of her nose stained red. The sight of Hae-won
shaking her waist with her blouse unbuttoned and a ribbon tied around her clean
genitals, void of a trace of pubic hair, caused inexplicable irritation rather than
satisfaction. Once again, an unpleasant word came from my lips, which had
drawn a very thin line.

“What’s so difficult…? … . Hyunwoo Joo, he was also very good at it… … .”

The more hurt Haewon was and the more distorted her expression became, the deeper
her smile became.
Machine Translated by Google

“Go Tae-gyeom joined too? Ha… …He likes it too, huh?”

“No, I didn’t do it…” … ! Ugh… … !”

Seo Hae-young grabbed Hae-won's lukewarmly moving waist with both

hands and pushed up with as much force as Hae-won took her time.
Their collapsed upper bodies made contact. Seo Hae-young, who
placed her lips on the shell of her ear, let the dark imagination she had
heard about Hae-won flow little by little into her dark eardrums.

“Did you feel so good while your friends were fucking you?
You kept looking at them thinking that, right? Since ancient times… ….”

"Ah... … ! Come on, come on… … ! Haeyoung, ah! Slowly, eh... … !”

"That's right... … . So, so easily, if you... … .”

The sound of flesh hitting flesh grew louder. The blood-covered penis
was inserted into the gaping hole, until
the root, and then it was pulled out. Gritting her teeth, Seo Hae-young
pushed Hae-won off the ground and forced her to sit, squeezing her
back until it hurt. It was no use.
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struggle because they held my waist and I was shaking all over.

"Ah… … ! "¡Duele!"

“You said I… …, I don’t know why I’m upset.”

Seo Hae-young laughed slowly, but it wasn't a very slow laugh. It

was a laugh that was like an omen that erupted when she couldn't
control her temper, which was as foul as Tae-gyeom's.

Seo Hae-young instantly jumped up and crushed the oblivious

Hae-won. Haewon, whose back was bent, screamed in pain as
he grabbed her abdomen and lifted her legs. Seo Hae-young
spread her shapely legs and continued to thrust her hips violently,
intending to destroy all her internal organs. Haewon, buried
among the unpacked boxes, twisted her entire body.

My genitals, rubbing against the stiff shirt, turned a reddish color.

As the pleasure continued to course through me, my legs
trembling aimlessly in the air didn't feel right. Haewon let out a
frantic, animal-like moan and twisted her waist.
Machine Translated by Google

"Ugh, big... … ! It's heavy, eh... … Slow down… … ! Damn… …

!”

Seo Hae-young, who had completely suppressed Hae-won, put their

foreheads together and lifted her waist forcefully.

"¿eh? Haewon, ah… … .”

When the penis was completely inside the hole that had been moved here and
there, the movement stopped for a moment. I gritted my teeth at the sensation of
thick semen spurting out. Seo Hae-young held onto the trembling Hae-won and
pounded back until the whitish semen filled with greed, betrayal, and anger seeped
into every corner.

Although nothing came out of the end of the ribboned penis, Seo Hae-young
briefly kissed Hae-won's lips, and even her breathing stopped as if she had
reached climax, and she whispered in a voice so low that only the person in
front of her could hear.

“Do you know you took my baby?”

"Eh… … , ah… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

A sigh filled with quiet laughter fell upon my lips.

My eyes, which had never dried, were half-closed.
The pleasure and shock I felt only in my back lingered for a long time, so it
took me some time to understand the short sentence. As soon as the dizzying
lights covering my vision disappeared, my heavy eyelashes slowly lifted and
my cloudy brown eyes opened wide. It was because I finally understood the
sentences that had passed by. Seo Hae-young, with a faint smile, let out a
strange sound again as she lifted her chin and took a deep breath.

“You screwed me… … . But you’re not.”

Haewon, struggling to even make a sound through her hoarse throat, couldn't
say anything, but she knew what she was saying was a lie. Seo Hae-young,
who had never been introduced but had met quite a few people, was clearly
lying even though everyone knew her.

Haewon let out a hollow laugh as she shook her body slightly, unable to move
a finger due to lack of strength. At that moment, an irresistible feeling of
drowsiness swept over me. My cramped legs fell onto the carpet.

Seo Hae-young reached out, resting her hand on Hae-won's trembling

shoulder. When I took Haewon's wrist and lifted her flowing pajamas, a
sparkling watch was revealed. A confident murmur flowed from Seo Hae-
young's lips.
Machine Translated by Google

while fiddling with his watch, which was packed with new features.

“It was clean. All alone.”

so… …whose fault is it?

He bit Haewon's finger and asked, but there was no response.

The reason she didn't feel like waking him up by hitting him on the cheek was
because he was too withdrawn. Seo Hae-young let out a deep sigh, saying that
something big had happened, and the pale night ended with a wail.
Machine Translated by Google

Chapter 7 (1)

The weekend dawned with spring fast approaching. Seo Hae-young,

who confirmed it was warm even without outerwear, delivered
carefully laundered clothes. It was a day when the sweater I received
for my birthday matched very well.

"Are you eating well?"

Seo Hae-young, who was wearing a belt around her loose waist,
frowned as if she didn't like it. It seemed like she was blaming
someone, but Hae-won also had something to say. No matter how
many meals you eat a day, if you do it day and night, you won't gain
weight, but rather you'll lose weight.
Haewon, swallowing her bitter thoughts, simply shook her head.
She knew for sure who would suffer if she responded and I was hit.

"really?"

"uh… … . "The one in the refrigerator."

Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young, who was adjusting the hem of her pants that slightly
exposed her ankles, fell. Haewon put on a thick beige sweater and pants
that brushed her bare legs and looked at herself in the mirror. Because I
was so anxious, I finally got a good look at the clothes I received as a gift.
Needless to say, they were Seo Hae-young's taste. They weren't very
comfortable clothes for Haewon, who was wearing a hood over her head.
Seo Hae-young bought most of the hoodies that changed color depending
on her mood. Haewon, who was clumsily fiddling with the sleeves of her
sweater, which was a little too long, stumbled and turned around while
being held by the shoulders.

"Hey. “I told you not to lie.”

Seo Hae-young laughed as if she knew what he did during the day and
lightly slapped him on the cheek. Haewon rolled her eyes and looked at
the corners of the room and the corners of the furniture. There was no
camera, so how could Seo Hae-young know so much? Hae-won, who
hadn't even thought to reflect on her attitude of telling the truth when
pressed, secretly glanced at Seo Hae-young, who was wearing similar
clothes.

Seo Hae-young, who looked down as she put one of the watches she
received last night on her wrist, seemed to be in a pretty good mood, even
if she didn't know the details.
Even as I removed the carpet that had been dirty since morning and
organized the crumpled wrapping paper and
Machine Translated by Google

the shopping bags, seemed somewhat refreshed. Haewon, who

endured her fatigue alone, blinked her cold eyes and daydreamed.

I had absolutely no desire to go out, but I wasn't in the mood to light

a candle either. I think it would be better to spend time in a place
where there are people than to be in the same space with both of
them and be nervous the whole time. A ridiculous story I heard last
night suddenly comes to mind. Anyway, it was complicated. Rubbing
my blindfolded eyes, I followed suit and ended up sitting in the
passenger seat without even offering an opinion. As I continued to
answer Seo Hae-young's questions, I arrived at a new destination
that I didn't even notice. It was a completely unexpected place.

It was a building with many large windows that allowed sunlight to

stream in through every hallway. Neatly hung posters and flyers
placed here and there indicated the building's purpose. Although it
was a weekend morning, the quiet gallery wasn't a small building, but
there were fewer than 30 people there, including those who came in
pairs and those quietly looking around alone. I looked around and
tried to guess why she had come here, but I had no idea. Haewon
followed Seo Haeyoung a step closer as she entered the exhibition
hall and spoke timidly.

"like this… …"Did you like it?"

Machine Translated by Google

The person who usually visited these exhibitions was Taegyeom.

Joo Hyun-woo tended to follow him when he was bored, and
Seo Hae-young didn't. I didn't particularly like her.
Looking at him questioningly, Seo Hae-young opened the
pamphlet she half-picked up and shook her head slightly.

"not precisely."

"But why… … .”

I took the leaflet they handed me and opened the folded section,
but the author's name written in large letters was unfamiliar.
Haewon, who had only ever known the painters Picasso and
Van Gogh, folded the paper without much inspiration. Seo Hae-
young, who only knew that she was a foreigner, stood next to
her and whispered, her voice muffled as she stood in front of
the painting hanging on the white wall.

“I said, let’s play.”

A mischievous smile appeared on the slender face that had its

back to the painting splattered with bright blue paint.
Hae-won, who had no way of knowing about Seo Hae-young's
dating style, which had a somewhat old-fashioned side, thought
it best to just ignore it and say that he was just intimidating her
in a different way.
Machine Translated by Google

Unlike the hallway bathed in strong sunlight, the interior of the

exhibition hall, which was blocked by white walls, was deeper and
wider than it appeared.
Hae-won was dragged by Seo Hae-young as she entered a dimly lit
room. They were so light they could be thrown at any moment, and
their index fingers, tangled like in a game of house, acted as rings.
Haewon's expression didn't look good as she stared at the couple
admiring the painting from a distance. I couldn't see the image
because all my attention was focused on the tip of my finger, which
couldn't move at all.

While keeping an eye on Seo Hae-young, I hid the hand I was holding a little closer.
In fact, Seo Hae-young calmly crossed her fingers and played with the bone sticking
out on the back of her hand. Their tangled and rubbing forearms created an
uncomfortable warmth.

Hae-won looked at Seo Hae-young, who was standing in front of a

canvas larger than her height, and gently removed the hand she was
clutching. As soon as I met her gaze, I muttered softly.

“If anyone sees… ….”

I reminded myself there were people around me and tightened my

fingers. Seo Hae-young leaned in and whispered softly to Hae-won,
who scratched with her nails at the feeling of still being touched.
Machine Translated by Google

“Sex is okay, but holding hands isn’t?”

Haewon, whose expression was stiff, silently stared at the man who was
making an embarrassing joke. "Why don't you know that holding hands isn't
the problem, it's the location?" An extremely ordinary day was unbearably
unpleasant. Seo Hae-young, whose mouth was raised, added in a casual
tone, as if asking what he was looking at like that.

"Someone likes to watch."

“… … "No me gusta".

The conversation took an increasingly strange turn.

Embarrassed, Hae-won even shook her head and denied it, but
Seo Hae-young suddenly reached out and grabbed her waist
hidden under her sweater with one hand.

"No. I fucking like you."

Haewon, surprised, took a step back, covered her throbbing

side, and looked around. Fortunately, there were only two
people nearby, but she didn't feel comfortable. Seo Hae-young
wanted to move away a little, but unfortunately, Seo Hae-young
caught up with her in one step and wrapped her long arms
around her shoulders. There was something strange about the han
Machine Translated by Google

slowly rubbing and touching her shoulder, which is something you

can do between friends. A soft laugh permeated the sound of
footsteps quietly padding across the marble floor.

"It's a joke. Relax your expression."

It was beyond Haewon's ability to find sincerity in a word that was

cloaked like a joke. Although she forced herself to raise her head
and look at the image, her distorted eyebrows barely straightened.
Her gaze kept returning to Seo Hae-young, searching for a stable
place. Dark blue paintings decorated the canvas hanging in rows
on the white wall of the exhibition hall. The face, which matched
the color horribly, didn't reveal her true feelings as usual.

The striking appearance and slightly different attitude, as usual, tickled my tense
solar plexus to the point of nausea, and I felt as if a dry cough was coming out
every time. Haewon held her breath, swallowed the cough that tickled her throat,
and rubbed the floor with her trembling feet as if she wanted to escape somewhere.
The heels of my white sneakers panted slightly.

Sneakers from different owners that keep your feet spinning inside
out even if you tie the laces properly. Seo Hae-young, who
bought him everything he didn't want and need,
Machine Translated by Google

But he only took off her shoes, he was clearer about what he wanted than
Hae-won, who was wandering around confused.

***

Haewon sat with her back to the large window in a quiet cafe inside the gallery
and massaged her numb thighs.
After walking for so long, my face turned pale. Seo Hae-young naturally touched
Hae-won's forehead and smiled as she brushed his hair, which shone brighter in
the sunlight. Although he didn't have a fever, he was so weak that even if he
jumped, he'd be caught after a month, so he was fine.

It's also different.

"Can't you walk for even an hour? We exercise every day... … ."

Seo Hae-young fell silent as if it were strange, then slid her index finger into the
collar of her sweater. Hae-won, who was holding the hand that was gently rubbing
her collarbone where the red mark never disappeared, pushed it away with
enough force to avoid hurting her feelings. Although it was a corner place, Seo
Hae-young's behavior was too
Machine Translated by Google

brazen for a stranger. I touched the warm fingers and carefully opened my mouth.

“… … "That's why it's difficult."

The muscles inside my thighs, which had been stretched for a long
time, felt like they were going to tear soon, and my butt was still warm
when it touched the chair. It was easy enough to walk. Hae-won
expressed her opinion that it was difficult, but to Seo Hae-young, it
only sounded like tenderness disguised as complaint. My own
affection was evident in the hand that grabbed a handful of Heoyeon's
cheek and shook it back and forth.

"You? "I thought you liked it because you kept running."

"Oh, duele... … .”

It was a force so strong it brought tears to the eyes of the person

suffering from it. Seo Hae-young patted him on the cheek with her
handprint and walked away without regret.
Haewon, secretly watching the retreating figure, folded a crumpled
square pamphlet and swallowed the resentment building inside her.

If you're not going to listen to it, I'd rather not ask in the first place.
There were times when I seemed strong in accepting things as I
wanted, but these days I felt a little frustrated and
Machine Translated by Google

annoying. Seo Hae-young's whims, which range from affectionate to

embarrassing jokes, have never been as confusing as they were today,
so it took strength in my hands to crumple the brochure.

"ah... … .”

Haewon, suddenly startled by the thoughtless touch of the paper,

dropped the tightly folded bill. A long crack appeared above her knuckle
where the sharp edge grazed it. Hae-won, holding the bleeding wound
in her palm, watched as Seo Hae-young, who had vanished without a
second thought, stared.

He stretched his upper body toward Seo Hae-young, who was not
visible from a remote location, perhaps thinking of taking the drink she
ordered, and then stood up hesitantly.
I took some tissues and wrapped them around my fingers, but the
blood on my palms wasn't easy to wipe away. Feelings of shame
surged through her furrowed brows.

As Haewon looked around, a hallway connected to an open-air cafe

caught her eye. It was a clean hallway that seemed to have a bathroom.
Once in the palm of your hand, and once in the hallway. Haewon, who
was looking at herself in turns, circled her fingers and twirled her feet
without hesitation.

I took an awkward step and reached the end of the hall, but the
bathroom I was expecting was nowhere to be seen and the door to the
Machine Translated by Google

A white-painted warehouse occupied the empty space.

Disappointment increased. Also, since all the buildings were
painted white, I started to get confused about where was where.
Haewon took a shaky step and, without realizing it, slowly entered
the deepest part of the place.

Haewon finally found a sign pointing to the bathroom and ran to

it, washed her hands under running water, and wrapped a clean
handkerchief around her index finger. The cut was deeper than it
looked, and a sharp pain shot through my palm. It's not like I can
get better by just staring at the bad, but after staring at it for a
while, I shouldered open the bathroom door and stepped out.

The tiredness didn't disappear. The concept of time had long

since disappeared from Haewon's mind, and she'd made a small
wish to go to bed early just for today. I wandered the gallery's
aisles for over ten minutes, and I spent another ten minutes
procrastinating.

Unaware of how much time had passed, Hae-won patted her clean hands and
walked back to the cafe. Seo Hae-young seems to be in a good mood, so I hope
that if I can please her, I can postpone bedtime.

"oh… … .”
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When I walked over to the place where the family's outerwear

was placed, only the tray of drinks remained, and Seo Hae-young
was nowhere to be seen. Haewon, who sat down, took a tall cup
of coffee and placed it in front of her, then took her share of the
ade and made an ambiguous expression.
Every time I went to a cafe, I always got the same drink, but I felt
strange because Seo Hae-young, who seemed indifferent,
seemed to know something about it. Rubbing my chest, feeling
the same itch I'd felt in the showroom again, I picked up the box
containing the chewy-looking chocolates and put the tray away.

"Did you go smoke?" Haewon tilted her head and cleaned the place without
warning. Hae-won, who probably didn't even have her cell phone with her, looked
around boredly, then picked up the open flyer and folded it tightly. As soon as I
folded it, I lost interest, so I took a small sip of my drink and played with the corner
of the box containing the chocolate.

I waited, wondering whether I should eat it or not, but Seo Hae-

young didn't return. Only then did I feel the weight of the watch
on my wrist. When I clumsily turned my arm and looked at the
watch, I calculated that twenty minutes had passed. As soon as I
thought it would only take me ten minutes to smoke a cigarette,
my heart started pounding. I had a guess.
uncomfortable.

Haewon removed the straw from her lips and slowly lowered her
hands to her pants. As she checked her pockets
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empty, she realized she had no money or anything. Haewon, who was clearly
embarrassed like a child who had lost touch with her parents, rolled her eyes.

Could it be that she abandoned him? Even though I turned my head here and
there, I couldn't see a single strand of Seo Hae-young's hair, and my anxiety
increased. I slowly stood up and took Seo Hae-young's outerwear hanging on the
chair. Although I thought there was no way she could have left her clothes, I came
to the conclusion that Seo Hae-young could have, and my fingers grew impatient.

Hae-won put her hand wrapped in toilet paper into the pocket of her outerwear and
naturally searched inside.
I searched my clothes until the cuts hurt, but unfortunately, all I found was a brand-
new brochure. I even turned my clothes inside out and tried to take them off, but
there was no way I could find a wallet that wasn't there.

Haewon carefully folded the outerwear she hadn't gotten and placed it on her knees,
biting her nails and staring at the clock hands. When the short, movable hand
pointed to 3 o'clock, her hunched back straightened and the drooping corners of
her mouth lifted. The unnatural smile revealed ambivalent emotions.
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A tall, clearly standing-out man was approaching from the other side
of the café. However, the raised corners of his mouth gradually
lowered as Seo Hae-young drew closer. When my breathing became
heavier than usual, as if I'd been running, and my flushed cheeks
and cold eyes made it difficult to speak, I gave up on asking where
he'd been. Haewon, who was hesitant because she didn't know
what was going on, quickly brought him a cup of coffee with melted
ice.

"here… … .”

There was no bitter cigarette smell. I thought it was strange and

looked up to see Seo Hae-young, who had been silently looking
down without drinking or sitting, pulling back her hair that had been
disheveled by the wind. It revealed evenly textured eyebrows and a
straight forehead, and the strong atmosphere covered by the flowing,
drawn lines gave off an intimidating feeling.

Haewon, distracted by her hair falling from her forehead and her
sun-scrunched eyes, couldn't properly hear the question coming
from her parted lips. I didn't even miss the chance to answer, so I
ended up laughing awkwardly.

"… … Smile?"
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Suddenly, a hand reached out and held my temple. The right hand,
raised high, seemed to slowly fall, but it wasn't slow enough to prevent
it. For a moment, a light shone in Seo Hae-young's field of vision. The
pain, as if stabbed with an awl, spread, accompanied by tinnitus.

“Tsk… … !”

Not only did I bite my tongue, but I had to use all my strength to keep
my head from spinning with my large hands. As soon as Haewon's
hands left, she cupped her ears and cheeks. I looked up with eyes the
size of a flower lamp, but all I could see was light bouncing off a black
background. Embarrassment dripped from her aimless, trembling gaze
and mesmerized expression.

“Why, why are you like this…? … .”

Hae-won, who had been helplessly dragged away by Seo Hae-young,

who had shown her kind side so much not long ago, couldn't regain
her senses. The tears that had stopped today were interfering with my
vision, my nose was blocked, and a muffled voice came out.

“Here, out here…” … .”

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As the saying goes, it was a cafe with open spaces. The sound of
the slap on the cheek was not small at all, and it was enough to tie
the ankles of a man passing by. The man, who looked at the backs
of Hae-won, who was crying, and Seo Hae-young, who was
standing upright and frowning as if seeing something strange,
hurriedly left. Before I passed the wall, my gaze turned into a sharp
needle and pierced my reddened cheek.

"¿sin embargo?"

Seo Hae-young responded calmly, pulled up a chair, and sat down

opposite him. Haewon had a feeling she'd hate going out from now
on. It was starting to get scary.

Seo Hae-young, who was sitting crookedly with her arms on the
table, stared at the top of Hae-won's head, who lowered his head
as if he had committed a crime. Since he had committed a sin, it
was an appropriate attitude. But keeping his mouth shut wasn't
right, so I moved my knee and hit his slender leg.

"Can't we do this outside? We're always like this."

“Why are you doing this all of a sudden…? … .”

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Their knees touched, but Haewon couldn't bite her legs and remained
frozen in that position like a stone statue. Her hands clasped on the
table trembled.
I had no idea it would be like this outside. Since I'd let my guard down,
the shock was even greater.

"I asked. "Where have you been?"

Seo Hae-young, who covered Hae-won's hands with the hand that had just hit her
cheek hard, lowered her upper body and whispered softly. Before I knew it, the
tears streaming down my eyelashes fell onto the white table. Hae-won took a deep
breath that didn't calm down, then carefully pulled out the hand she was holding
and opened her palm. The tissue paper, which had been carefully rolled, was
clenched so tightly in my fist that it was completely crumpled and the ends were
loose.

"bathroom… …I went. They cut off my hand… … .”

"ver."

Hae-won quickly handed her hand to Seo Hae-young, who held out
her palm. When Seo Hae-young, who was sitting crookedly, unwrapped
the tissue paper tightly wrapped around her index finger, a neatly drawn
wound was revealed, as if measured with a ruler.
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As soon as she saw the ugly wound, Seo Hae-young twisted her lips
and muttered in a low voice.

“Why is this happening again?”

“Oh, I didn’t want you to come. I was gone for a while… ….”

Haewon accepted the pitiful look and wiped her tears with the back of
her hand. It was at that moment that I burst into tears several times a
day. I didn't want to cry, but I couldn't stop the tears that fell, so it got
ugly. Seo Hae-young, who saw Hae-won moaning and letting out her
sorrow, sighed deeply as if she could do nothing.

“Cry because you did a good job.”

It was sad that she was dragged out in the morning and had her finger
chopped off, and from Hae-won's perspective, being slapped in a
public place was incredibly unfair, but Seo Hae-young had nothing to
say.

Seo Hae-young cleaned the bleeding wound, wrapped the folded

pamphlet and the even more wrinkled tissues than before, and set
them aside.

When I returned with the drinks, Haewon Yoon was gone and all that
was left was a clumsy bill. Isn't it natural to be
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angry? He said he walked straight ahead without even thinking about waiting.
If you have a criminal record, no matter what you do, there will be suspicions.
After wandering around the gallery and garden for more than 30
minutes, it's only natural that doubt turns into certainty. The last time I
visited the source, Haewon, who had vanished without a trace, was
smiling brightly with a pale face. I couldn't help but feel hungry.

"Why are you going without permission? I'm going crazy because
people tell me I'm pretty..."

Seo Hae-young released Haewon's fingers, who was sobbing after

being hit just once, and unwrapped the chocolate with a sigh. The
contents were chewy, but her voice was rather muffled.

Still, that didn't mean it wasn't threatening.

Haewon, who was scared, gasped and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. My throat
throbbed as I tried to resist the urge to scream and ask if I'd ever been treated well.

"ah... … .”

At that moment, a square piece of chocolate touched my lips. It smelled

sweet. Seo Hae-young reflexively pushed the chocolate pieces one by
one into the moist space that had opened up. Seo Hae-young, who
had brought half of the remaining chocolate, put a straw in her mouth.
Machine Translated by Google

as he gurgled softly while chewing the chocolate that was steadily accumulating in
his mouth. He didn't know whether to call it consideration or torture.

Seo Hae-young, who was staring at Hae-won's lips, who was busy crying, chewing
and drinking, with her chin resting on her chin, suddenly made a natural request.

"Give me a kiss."

Haewon raised her head stiffly and blinked her watery eyes.

“… … ¿eh?"

"Don't pretend you didn't hear."

I thought I'd heard it wrong, but Seo Hae-young, who lifted her chin slightly, dashed
any expectations with a cheeky attitude. Haewon swallowed a large piece of
chocolate and looked at the others out of the corner of her eye. There were no
people at the tables around us, but that didn't mean it wasn't a place where we
couldn't kiss suddenly. Hae-won, who was cornered, grabbed the coat in her lap
with one hand, touched Seo Hae-young's elbow with the other, and made a small
wish.
Machine Translated by Google

“Can’t we just go out and do it? Chana… ….”

"Si no."

Conversation and common sense gradually diverged.

Direct gaze, fingers tapping the table with regular noises, and even
the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. He often did that, but today
he didn't seem sane.
Are you brave or have you really gone crazy?

Seo Hae-young, who had been silently waiting for Hae-won's next
move while rolling up her sleeves as if pleading, helpless to do
anything, gave a light laugh and brought her outerwear. I took out
the leaflet that was crookedly tucked into my pocket and opened the
folded part. A shadow fell inside the leaflet, blocking the direction
where the people were.

"Can I do this?"

Seo Hae-young, who had created a small wall and smiled

mischievously, closed her eyes. Her long eyelashes concealed her
docility. Here, Haewon had no choice but to engage in unproductive
and useless deception. Have you met someone like this before? Or
is he just doing this to himself, who has no problem even if I treat him
recklessly? He treated me well, then slapped me, interrogated me,
and then asked me for a kiss?
Machine Translated by Google

"apurarse."

As the bird stared, it followed a command it couldn't refuse. Haewon

hesitantly placed her hands on the table and lowered her upper body. The
lightly touched lips felt soft and pressed together. The afternoon sun
appeared behind me, and an eerie chill hit the back of my neck.

The almost hidden mistakes came to mind one after another, and a hole
pierced my heart. The identity of the wound that smells of filth is a feeling of
disconnection armed with confusion, a helplessness that makes you want to
settle down, a murderous intent that makes you want to kill, and a love that
stings and is alive like a leech. And it was all a mixture of love and hate. As
we exchanged long kisses, Haewon didn't close her eyes at all. The melted
chocolate tasted like blood.

On a sunny weekend, Haewon left the veranda with puffed-out cheeks,

walked through the well-kept garden, ate at a nice restaurant, and took a
stroll through the countryside to return home. Just as chocolate seeps onto
the tongue and disappears, leaving a sickly sweet taste, a day with Seo Hae-
young left a dark aftertaste. Fingertips lightly bumped, feet touched under
the table, and her right hand naturally massaged the inside of her thigh
instead of her handle. It was a day so brazen and explicit that even a blind
person could understand its meaning.
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It wasn't until they arrived at the house they lived in that Haewon
realized what the day had been like and couldn't help but smile. There
wasn't even a laugh.

A typical, old-fashioned date. When the routine date, which I'd heard
about even though I'd never done it before, came to bed, Hae-won
hugged Seo Hae-young's neck, which was difficult to handle, and let
out the sadness she'd been holding in. Still, it was a good time, so I
cried my eyes out, saying things I didn't even want to say. Seo Hae-
young's dreamy smile at the perfunctory word "like" seemed genuinely
happy, and she was lost between misery and relief.

***

It was a sunny Saturday with spring rain. Seo Hae-young walked out
onto the terrace, looked at the blue garden, and wiped the back of her
neck. The weather looked as if a beautiful rainbow would bloom once
the rain stopped, but the fine raindrops never stopped. Some petals
that were barely hanging on were hit by the raindrops and fell weakly.
It seems the flower viewing I've been looking forward to for several
weeks has come to an end.
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As I entered the room with a regretful sigh, the sight of my legs

peeking out from under the white blanket instantly erased my
disappointment. Seo Hae-young, with a mischievous smile on her
face, jumped into bed where her sleepy housemate was sleeping.

"Yoon-Haewon-".

As I hugged the white blanket in my arms, warmth seeped through

the thin fabric. Seo Hae-young tightly hugged Hae-won, who was
tossing and turning, as if trying to wake up, and placed her forehead
against his bare chest. Far from being unpleasant, the sound of
another person's heart beating was pleasant, so she didn't feel like
shaking her awake.

"Sleep well?"

"eh… … .”

I also liked how she responded obediently even though her face
was covered in sleep. I didn't like the schedule being messed up,
but a quiet weekend wasn't bad either. Seo Hae-young raised her
upper body and rested her head, smoothing Haewon's hair as she
slowly opened her eyes, but then changed her mind and snuggled
into her arms.
Machine Translated by Google

"It's raining."

The whisper was an omen. Haewon's shoulders bounced as she blinked and tried
to shake off the sleep. The lips that had sucked on the ticklish hair on my chest and
the swollen nipple that had cracked my skin came away with a sloppy sound, then
reattached. As he touched the raised nipple with his index finger, his lips moved to
the left and took a large bite.

Hae-won, frowning, turned around, unable to push Seo Hae-young away from her,
who was sucking on her tingling nipple. Since there was nothing else to take off,
Seo Hae-young had nothing to worry about. I don't know what rain has to do with
morning sex, but trying to find logic in Seo Hae-young's actions was a waste of time.

In no time, Haewon was pushed to the end of the bed and could only moan in pain
without even being able to wake up.
The two legs dangling over his shoulders, shining white in the sunlight, squirmed
back and forth. I couldn't answer Seo Hae-young, who smiled and asked me if I
knew it would be warmer if I put it on as soon as I woke up. Not only did I not have
the heart to do so, but the force pushing me was so strong that it was difficult to
keep up even though it was morning.
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It would have been nice if I could have made it through at least once, but
the heartless Seo Hae-young said, "Let it go," grabbed the hand holding
the blanket tightly to keep from falling off the bed, and pulled it to the joint.
He made me touch the genitals embedded in my body and then made me
insert my fingers into the hole. Haewon, horrified by the growing wrinkles
and palpable inner walls, quickly withdrew her hand and struggled slightly,
twisting her upper body. It was only after I begged for help that I could
barely follow the slow movement of my back.

When I opened my tightly closed eyes, the overturned veranda appeared

before my trembling vision. The sound of rain hitting the railing filtered
faintly across the skin as it beat against it. Haewon rubbed her chest,
feeling the cool breeze carry away the heat.

We went out every weekend and always slept in the same bed... …Strange.
More than a deep relationship, it felt like a hole to process sexual desires.
Not a friend or a lover, just a hole to stick your dick in whenever you want.

That's why I hated weekends. It was just one day when my depression
deepened. Hae-won, who was staring wide-eyed at Seo Hae-young as
she lowered her collar and raised her waist, burst out laughing.
Machine Translated by Google

What's up... … . Maybe it was because it was raining, but I had too
many useless thoughts.

On a weekend afternoon that began with relatively casual sex, Haewon

sat in a chair at the dining room table, staring at his tall back with a
nervous expression. It was completely untrustworthy to see him bursting
into the kitchen out of nowhere, trying to make noodles he didn't like.
Don't you take the pasta noodles and measure them out?

Don't you wash the strawberries that don't fit in the noodles? It was hard
to do on purpose.

Hae-won, who was tired lying on the table, had no choice but to get up
and approach Seo Hae-young.
A fairly large cutter revealed a straight cross section beneath the sharp
blade.

“… …Should I put that?

"Tis the season."

"Yes, but… … .”
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon, swallowing a sigh with difficulty, wordlessly cleaned the

chopped strawberries, wrapped the pasta noodles, and put them
back in their place. As they slowly turned up the heat and poured
the broth, Seo Hae-young, who had taken a piece of strawberry
and eaten it, reached out with a disapproving expression.

Haewon chewed the strawberry that popped into her mouth and
looked for ingredients to add to the noodles. It's been a long time
since I saw a man come by during the day to stock the refrigerator.
As I looked at the zucchini and carrots I didn't know when I bought
them, Seo Hae-young came up to me, hugged my waist, and
whispered in my ear.
It was nothing special.

"Can't I put it in?"

"Next time… …Let's put it on.”

Haewon, with an awkward smile, washed the untouched

ingredients, desperately hoping there were no more left. Seo
Hae-young, who rested her chin on his shoulder, clung to him
throughout the preparations and subtly tormented him.
Maybe it wasn't the strawberries I asked if I could add. Hae-won,
who showed her discomfort with a frown, couldn't get angry and
just trembled with the hand holding the knife. It was a hot day, so
a hand slid down to the top of my body, which was wearing
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a loose-fitting short-sleeved T-shirt, and a thick crotch pressed hard

against my buttocks.

"don't do it... … .”

“What did I do?”

She looked at the knife she was barely holding, but Seo Hae-young
just laughed. Haewon bit her lip and gripped the knife's handle so
tightly her palms went numb.

As expected, what they said wasn't wrong. Every time Seo Hae-
young, who resembled everything bad, including Go Tae-gyeom's
low-level behavior and Joo Hyun-woo's persistence, slightly raised
her waist, the hole that hadn't yet closed contracted.

The carrots were cut crooked because the carrots were chewed so
well that the back of my neck had scratch marks that turned from
red to purple.

"Huh? “Do nothing?”

Haewon, who was dejected, pretended not to hear where the spirit
of hitting Go Tae-gyeom's head with a cabbage had gone and made
a side dish. It was a difficult moment for Hae-won, who was trapped
in the arms of Seo Hae-young, who laughed and played with her
reddened ears.
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When the noodles, which were quite difficult from start to finish, were almost
finished, the clear sound of the doorbell rang in the quiet room. The chopsticks
that were carefully placing the ingredients on top of the noodles in the concave
bowl were crooked. The sound of the doorbell, which had never rang since I
entered this house, touched my sensitive nerves. The shredded fat slowly sank
into the clear broth. Haewon, whose shoulders were stiff because she felt she had
made a mistake that couldn't be undone, despite her name being completely
messed up, looked at her intently.

However, Seo Hae-young, who had been leaning on her while hugging her waist,
dropped her body without saying a word. Hae-won, who was spying on Seo Hae-
young as she slowly walked out of the kitchen, muttered softly as she took out a
new bowl, leaving behind her share of the broken noodles.

“… …it’s annoying.”

It was a feeling that could only be expressed in a space where no one was around
to listen. The cause of the irritation was everything. It's been raining since morning,
I'm feeling awkward, I've put my feet up badly, and suddenly the doorbell rings. Or
maybe it wasn't all that.

Haewon, who felt a little more congested because she couldn't find the exact
cause, sighed and placed the noodles
Machine Translated by Google

beautifully placed on the table. When I looked up from the noodles, which weren't
very appetizing thanks to eating more than a handful of sweet strawberries, I saw
a sink soaked with water. Next to the cutting board Seo Hae-young had washed
and tilted, a dish soap in a clear container caught my eye. Everything around me
blurred, and my attention was suddenly focused on the detergent. Haewon,
standing in front of the sink as if fascinated, looked at the sticky liquid in the clear
container and played with it with her cold fingers.

Will I die if I eat this? As soon as a slight curiosity arose, my gaze returned to the
table. Two bowls of noodles and clear broth. As my eyes scanned the table and
returned to the clear detergent, I sensed a pungent smell lingering around me. As
my heart suddenly began to pound, my outstretched hands moved as if trying to
hold something.

However, as time slowly passed, Haewon didn't actually touch anything. There
were two bowls containing noodles, and as if unaware of the cause of my irritation,
she didn't know which bowl to put the clear detergent in. Hae-won, who was
rubbing her eyelids with the back of her hand because the detergent bottle
arbitrarily etched into her retina wouldn't come off, didn't realize that the sound of
approaching footsteps didn't belong to a single person. As soon as I let go of the
hand that was rubbing my eyes, a voice coming from behind caught my open ear.
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“My sister asked me how I was… …, place."

The voice that subtly erupted was not Seo Hae-young's.

As I slowly turned around, our gazes met in the air. At that moment, a word
came to Haewon's mind.

door intruder.

The only reaction one could give to an uninvited guest was a

small amount of elasticity escaping and a feeling of unease
skimming the surface. Perhaps because he was surprised, Hee-
seong fell silent and resembled the image in Hae-won's memories.
Yoon Hae-won himself was the reason he couldn't manage a
half-smile at Hee-seong, who quickly calmed his expression and
greeted him in an exceptionally friendly tone.

<Continued in Volume 5>

Machine Translated by Google
Machine Translated by Google

Chapter 7 (2)

“I suppose you combed your hair? Nice.”

"ah... … .”

As soon as he opened the door with an unfamiliar compliment, Haewon

hesitated at the soft greetings as if it had been a while and he wanted
to reach out to her, eventually looking down, unable to answer any of
the questions.
The nails extended beyond the fingers and reached the palm, splitting the soft
flesh and carving deep scars. I was so embarrassed that I didn't have time to pay
attention to the unnatural movements or the wandering, unsteady gaze.

Seo Hae-young, who had already returned to the kitchen, was staring
at him, and Hee-seong, who hadn't received a reply, was smiling
nervously. For Haewon, it all seemed like a burden to bear. While she
struggled with what to do, Seo Hae-young, who was simply staring with
a
unreadable expression, gently pushed Hee-sung's shoulder and took a
step away.

“What are you doing standing there?”

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Seo Hae-young, who was sitting at the head of the table, naturally
had her eyes on Hee-seong. When Hee-seong pulled out her chair
and sat down, Hae-won, who was left alone at the kitchen counter,
drooped her heavy head.
To him, he's an uninvited guest, but to Seo Hae-young, it seems
that way. At least Haewon felt that way. Just as I was about to turn
around and leave the kitchen because I just wanted to get away, a
brief question stopped me.

"Where?"

Haewon stopped in the hallway leading to the living room, looked at

her index finger where the cut had healed, and gave a small reply.

"… … "I'm not hungry."

"Sit down."

Sit down and do something. Just listen to them flirt? I didn't want to do that.

"Just above… ….”

Haewon rolled her eyes resentfully, shook her head, and took a step
forward, but before she could take a step, a silent warning came
over the back of her neck.
Machine Translated by Google

"Sit down while I speak politely."

"Hey… … . "Why are you saying that?"

Hee-seong, with a shy smile on his face, patted Seo Hae-young on

the arm. Haewon hesitated, then turned and slowly approached the
table. The embarrassment I thought had disappeared reddened my
cheeks.

When I pulled out the chair to Seo Hae-young's right and sat down, I
ended up sitting across from Hee-sung. The noodles with their
disheveled topping were in front of Hee-seong, and all Hae-won could
see was the smooth surface of the table. I rolled my eyes as I
scratched the back of my hand so hard that I was handed steaming
noodles. Also included were chopsticks stuck in the center of the
noodles, as if performing an ancestral rite. As I slowly looked up, Seo
Hae-young rested her chin on it and winked at her.

"comer."

"… … you?"

"You know I don't like it."

Machine Translated by Google

Those weren't words for a person who'd been frying people all
morning to make noodles. A bowl of pretty toppings was
delivered, but Hae-won wasn't about to touch it and kept staring
at Seo Hae-young's notice. It was clear I'd feel sick even if I
ate it.
While hesitating while holding the chopsticks, Seo Hae-young
lowered her upper body and asked slowly in a voice that was
not small.

"Why aren't you eating? What did you do?"

A nasty look crossed my cheek. A chill ran down my spine as

the thought that had crossed my mind earlier suddenly came to
mind. Haewon quickly shook her head and raised her slightly
trembling hand to remove the garnish. Heesung, who was
observing the strange atmosphere, happily joined in.

“Hey, listen. I'm going to eat well.”

Haewon lifted the corners of her mouth that hadn't risen and
smiled a little. Heesung's kindness, which he returned with a
bright smile, hurt my stiff heart.

When the bowl was half empty, Hae-won was completely

excluded from the conversation, just like on Seo Hae-young's
birthday last year. Hee-seong naturally delivered the question,
but Hae-won couldn't blend in at all and just floated by like a
Machine Translated by Google

Impurity. It was common for people not to understand the question, and
there were many instances of silence because they couldn't find the right
answer. Naturally, the conversation revolved around topics only the two of
them knew.
With her normal ears wide open, Haewon had difficulty grasping words
she could understand and swallowing them.

Heesung stirred the remaining noodles with chopsticks and leaned back in his
chair. Thanks to his natural friendliness, the subtle discomfort wasn't noticeable.

“Your teacher is really going all out. ‘When will school be back?’”

"In a month. There are also exams."

"Are you going to get a master's degree here? What a waste."

“It’s a little difficult to get out… ….”

Seo Hae-young, who fell silent, looked at Hae-won, who was chewing
noodles, and continued the conversation.

The conversation consisted of topics that college students of this age often
bring up, but there was no concern or uncertainty about the uncertain
future in their conversation.
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conversation. Haewon forced down the shredded noodles and stared at the table,
which seemed to have drawn a line that couldn't be crossed. That's why I wanted
to escape. The stories they shared were all unfamiliar stories.

While living in the same space and sleeping in the same bed, Seo Hae-young didn't
say anything. I wasn't curious anymore, so I didn't ask, but still. Can't you just say
it in passing at least once? Unless you're keeping it at home for sexual pleasure or
to relax whenever you feel like it, at least say a word.

It got to the point where I couldn't tell if it was natural disappointment or a

presumptuous request. 'What's wrong?' I couldn't help feeling angry enough to
make my stomach turn. It was a sense of déjà vu. A replay of miserable memories.
I couldn't take it anymore.

"everyone… …, He ate it all."

As soon as Hae-won opened his mouth, the gaze that had been fixed on Hee-seong
the entire time returned. Hae-won, who had been looking from the empty bowl to
Seo Hae-young, who had tilted her upper body to look, quickly stood up from his
seat. The two people's gazes met, but they couldn't stop their legs from moving
freely.
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Haewon ran upstairs, went straight to the bathroom, and threw up all the
lunch she had packed.
As I drank the water several times and vomited it until the gastric juice came
out, the pain stabbing in my stomach gradually subsided.

"Ah... … .”

Haewon lifted her shaky legs over the sink and quickly rinsed her mouth and
face in a hunched position to remove any traces of vomit. The water

that soaked my pale face and hair, washing away my complacency. When all
the warm water went down the drain, all Haewon was left with was a sense
of crisis.

A feeling somewhat different from deprivation gnawed at my weakened spirit.

As I sat quietly in the big house, killing time every day, I momentarily forgot
that the world was spinning. Time passes, and other people are slowly
fulfilling their tasks. The fact that Seo Hae-young's world functions better than
anyone else's is a little... … I was scared.

I struggled out of the bathroom, but my weak legs refused to let me walk any
further, so I slipped and sat down in the empty hallway. Haewon, with her
back against the cold wall and hugging her knees, bit her thumbnail as she
stared at the stairs where the two people's voices rose faintly. The sound of
soft bones against the
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crumbling was similar to the second hand of a clock that made me

anxious.

Maybe it was because it was still raining, but I couldn't shake off the
bad thoughts that were invading me.
The bloodshot eyes turned red as if blood was spurting out.

Seo Hae-young lived very well. If you earn a decent degree, there
are relatives who will help you get a decent teaching job at a
university or a job. Of course, that will happen over time, and you
might even meet someone similar to you and get married at the right
time.

If you don't do well as a "hole," what will happen to you? Where

should this unscrupulous body go, suddenly screaming, raging, and
talking nonsense?

There was a time when I hoped Seo Hae-young would tire as soon
as possible. Because back then, she had a place to return to. But
now? What's left now?

Blood seeped from the skin that had been bitten. The blood flowing
through my finger joints pooled in the bones of my wrist. Haewon
wiped the red blood from her jacket and bit her other hand. It didn't
hurt at all. It wasn't surprising.
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***

Just as the hard tooth began to bleed in his other hand, Hee-seong, who was
looking out at the quiet hallway, put down his chopsticks. I was polite in saying
it was delicious, but honestly, it was bland. It wasn't very pleasant sitting
across from Seo Hae-young, who was still feeling uneasy. The plan of handing
over an item was proving awkward. Since I'd run out of things to talk about, I
wanted to go back, but Haewon, who looked pale and tired and unable to
participate in the conversation, kept getting caught in my eyes.

I didn't know he'd be here, but I knew such a thought was absurd. As long as
I'm guilty of informing the person in front of me about my whereabouts in
ancient times. I don't know what happened between them, but I wanted to
meet Yoon Hae-won, who had always missed the chance to speak. Hee-seong,
who cleaned her utensils in suffocating silence, patted Seo Hae-young on the
shoulder as she rolled up her sleeves and stood up.

"I need to use the bathroom."

Machine Translated by Google
"Like that."

Hee-seong, who had placed the dishes in the sink while watching Seo Hae-young
clean the messy kitchen counter, put three clean cups in as a bonus and stepped
forward. As I left the kitchen, I didn't forget to secretly crumple some tissues and
throw them on the floor.

As I climbed the stairs, I wondered where to start looking, but

luckily I didn't have to open every closed door. Haewon, squatting
in front of the bathroom, looked noticeably smaller compared to
when she was standing. I wondered how thin he must have been,
but when I think of him running around like crazy in the middle of
the night, it was worth it. If you can call that exercise.

Hee-seong wiped his forehead and approached Hae-won, who

was muttering something with her face buried in her knees. He
squatted down in a similar position, but didn't seem to notice. Her
light brown hair looked soft, and he wanted to touch it, but it
seemed like it wasn't the right time yet. Heesung, feeling
unnecessary momentum, gently tapped the floor. Haewon raised
her head in surprise, her eyes wide.

It was similar to our first meeting. Hae-won, whose face was

covered in cake, came back to life and Hee-seong,
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Smiling, he leaned in and whispered as if telling a secret.

"I came to get some clothes."

“… … ¿oh?"

“I appreciate it. Oh, and the shoes too.”

While it wasn't something I appreciated, it was a fitting excuse to start a

conversation. However, doubts began to arise due to the confused look on my
face.
Heesung, who had been waiting silently until he remembered, lowered his eyes
for a moment and let out a short gasp. Without even having time to straighten his
frown, he grabbed Haewon's wrist. Surprised by the sudden contact, Haewon
straightened her bent back and tried to take a step back, but a solid wall stopped
her.

Heesung closed the distance to the same distance he had retreated without
hesitation.

"You are bleeding."

The blood that had leaked from the broken finger had dried onto the palm. Hae-
won, who was showing discomfort and licking her blood-stained lips, tossed and
turned as if trying to break free. I even tried to say 'let me go,' but was it because
my voice was too small or was it because my arm
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covered in ugly scars was stealing my attention? Without realizing it,

Heesung grabbed both of her thin wrists and gave them strength.

"That's all… … ."

Why is my skin like this? Heesung swallowed his unpleasant feelings

and looked at the inside of his arm, which was riddled with nail marks
and bruises, with a serious expression. His wrists and forearms were
left with blue bruises that looked like they had been squeezed tightly.
Because it was so reduced, the traces that hadn't been noticed
downstairs were clearly visible. And then my mouth fell open. Heesung's
expression grew increasingly rigid because he wasn't young enough to
notice the pale nape of his neck and the scars covering the inside of his
forearms.

"two people… … , ah, like that… … .”

I was so shocked that I found it difficult to continue speaking.

Seo Hae-young met a man? If Go Tae-gyeom had to name one person
he'd met, he might have stayed up all night, but no matter how much he
thought about Seo Hae-young's private life, nothing came to mind
clearly. I won't even introduce you. We'll be leaving soon. There's no
way you'll remember. It was surprising, but it wasn't something to say,
and the stiff expression on his face wasn't easily broken. This was
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Because Haewon's reaction of curling up and looking at me with scared eyes

as soon as I let go of my wrist felt strange. As I watched Haewon, who had
her back to the wall and on guard, the tangled clues coalesced into a
hypothesis.

A warehouse covered in blood, running down a street in the middle of winter,

whispers of being chased, Seo Hae-young and Go Tae-gyeom acting like they're
crazy, Joo Hyun-woo losing touch at some point, sexual remnants bordering on
abuse... … .

Pursing his lips, Hee-seong looked down, where the sound of running water
could still be heard, and squeezed Hae-won's shoulder. There were a lot of
strange things about dating.
Even if it was stupid, there was nothing to say. The wound must be quite
serious.

“We met then, right? Why, on the bridge?”

“Well, I’ve never met you. I don’t know.”

Haewon looked at the hand on her shoulder with an anxious expression and
shook her head. The last time I saw Hee-seong was at Joo Hyun-woo's
farewell party. I just remembered this.
For Hae-won, who had no memory of that night, Hee-seong's attitude was
simply embarrassing.
Machine Translated by Google

"… … I don't remember?"

Hee-seong, who was carefully examining the ignorant face, accepted

that it was not a lie after several interrogations.
Well, if he were in his right mind, there was no way he'd be walking
around like this. Heesung took a deep breath and grabbed the collar
of the short-sleeved T-shirt Haewon was wearing. When I suddenly
pulled it down, even worse marks were revealed on my straight
collarbone. Haewon, startled, threw her hand back and covered her
neck with her palm, covered in dried blood. The defensive stance
raised plausible suspicions. Heesung narrowed his eyes, touched the
scars on his elbows and wrists, and calmed his angry voice.

“Let me just ask you one question. um. Did Seo Hae-young do all of this?”

Lowering her eyes, Haewon looked at the ground and built a wall.

"It doesn't matter."

"Say it. So… ….”

“… … “What do you care?”

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Not only did Hae-won not want to know why Hee-seong was suddenly acting so
urgently, but she also felt uncomfortable talking to him face-to-face like this. If
someone showed up out of nowhere and ruined your day, you should be satisfied
with that, but it was intrusion that crossed the line.

Of course I know this well. What crime is Lee Hee-seong guilty of? I somehow
got caught up in that and became curious. Lee Seong defended Hee Seong,
but Haewon couldn't act rationally.

However, the aggressive tone that leaked out as if spit actually hurt him. It
was even more painful than the wound where the skin was torn off and the
pink insides were visible, so he couldn't understand what Heesung was saying
in detail. The hastily opened lips had good skin, and the eyebrows and
furrowed eyes were clean and without a single trace of dirt. He hated the
kindness that thought of others, unlike me, who was struggling because I
couldn't take care of my own body. The sympathetic gaze was annoying, as if
looking at something pitiful. The kindness shown as if it were a favor was
disgusting.

Was it like that then? When we met?

Did Seo Hae-young hit you?

Machine Translated by Google

Are you forcing this?

He didn't answer a single word to the questions that arose as if they were chasing
him. Once I turned around, my stomach started to boil. Then Haewon lifted her chin.
My ugly pride reared its head as well. When we made eye contact, Heesung raised
his eyebrows as if asking him to speak and gave the answer I'd been longing for.

"I… … , I like it. "It's because I like things like this."

"… … that?"

“I really like this kind of thing. So Haeyoung, Haeyoung too... … .”

My throat hurts. I didn't want them to find out that I was beaten every time I didn't
give the answer I wanted, every time I fainted from a heavy load on my back, or
every time I got bored. When a large palm hits my cheek or strangles my neck, it
hurts like hell, and sometimes I get aroused by the pain of my vision flickering
and the fear of others holding their breath. Haewon smiled slightly, realizing once
again that her body and mind were irreparably broken.
Machine Translated by Google
“… … "It's made to measure for you."

My hoarse voice shattered into several pieces. Shoulders trembled,

hands clenched, and yet, eyes lifted. Hae-won, who denied it with all
her might, looked pitiful and disheveled. Heesung, who had even
brought up the topic of informing his family, pursed his lips with an
absurd expression on his face. From his parted lips, a sigh of 'huh'
occasionally came out.

It was simply ridiculous. Hae-won, who was afraid she might even show tears,
lowered her head and stood up unsteadily.

"Wait a second... … .”

I shook off the hand that was around my wrist, walked into the room,
and closed the door. I turned my back on the door, slid downstairs,
and buried my face in my knees.

"eww... … .”

I was so embarrassed, upset, jealous, and angry that I couldn't stand

it. I wanted to scream, but my unpleasant, hoarse throat only let out
loud sighs. At that moment, a small sound of conversation was heard
beyond the door. It seemed that Seo Hae-young had arrived.

Hae-won, who was standing at the door, heard what they were talking
about, but with one of his ears broken, he couldn't clearly hear the two
people's voices. I put my forehead against
Machine Translated by Google

the cold door and exhaled softly. I felt a wave of regret.

Take detergent. Plus the broken noodles.

And I felt so awful for thinking such a thing that I clenched my thighs, my eyes
red. My pants were dented, and there was a round bloodstain on the dark fabric,
but it didn't hurt at all. at all.

***

Heesung opened his umbrella and stepped out into the drizzling garden. I couldn't
express how uncomfortable I was. I felt like I was witnessing something I didn't
need to know about. I should have left it at the front door instead of ringing the
doorbell.
Even if I regretted it now, it wouldn't have been enough of an impact to hit me in
the back of the head. Uncharacteristically, he went out to see Seo Hae-young off,
who was lighting a cigarette, and put his hands in his pockets.

That bastard was biting and sucking a man with the same dick. And beating him
too. I don't know if I should have
Machine Translated by Google

believed Haewon's somewhat strange words or whether he should have interfered

at all. Hee-seong, who was frowning deeply and rubbing his numb forehead,
stopped without any choice when Hae-won, who was covered in bruises, reminded
him.

"Are you hitting the child?"

"¿OMS?"

The thick smoke exhaled by Seo Hae-young, who clearly knew this and
was acting like a fool, absorbed the moisture and sank. After walking
through the rain and blowing away the trailing smoke, Hee-seong
opened his umbrella and looked up at the second floor. Inyoung, who
had been hanging by the window, was so surprised that she hid behind
the curtain. Will even the shadow be hidden like that? I didn't think I'd
do that if I really wanted people to pay attention to me, so I asked a
strange question.

“… … "Aren't we just friends?"

Seo Hae-young, who had been inhaling the filter, dropped the unsmoked
cigarette to the floor. She rolled her eyes as if thinking while stepping
on a weak ember, and then smiled.
Machine Translated by Google

"If you've just eaten noodles, you can understand it in moderation."

Hee-seong's words seemed so funny that he laughed out loud, but the corner of Hee-
seong's mouth didn't move at all. 'Oh, those delicious noodles?' He wanted to answer,
but it was because it didn't seem like a joke. There seemed to be no sign of him hiding
anything.

“… … Va."

Hee-seong, who hid his complicated feelings and turned his back on him, calculated
how long the boy who kept up with the teacher would be out of the house. Perhaps
he should talk to Go Tae-gyeom, who doesn't know if he's alive or dead from his
drunkenness.

I couldn't make a decision because I didn't know what happened between them.
Before I walked out the front door, fiddling with my cell phone in my pocket, I heard a
smiling voice behind me.

“But Heesung.”

When I looked back, I saw Seo Hae-young standing under the eaves dripping with
water, gently waving her hand as if to say goodbye.
Machine Translated by Google

“If you want to talk to Haewon Yoon, get permission first.

From now on."

It was a final greeting that deepened my concerns.

Heesung looked away and took his cell phone out of his pocket.

Hee-seong, who had come to deliver an item but only received

the luggage, left through the main door, and Seo Hae-young, who
had carefully finished seeing off the guest, headed directly to the
second floor. Passing through the living room, I went upstairs
carrying the small shopping bag I'd left on the table. The
hypothesis concluded in the desired direction.
I looked back at Haewon, who was looking at Heesung with a
visibly nervous look and a hint of hostility, and then I laughed
heartily.

Sometimes you need stimulation. Thanks to the remarkable

reaction, I opened the tightly closed door, wondering if I should
call him often. At the end of the room, where there was a pile of
playthings on the carpet, Haewon was sitting with her bottom on
the large windowsill, staring out with her head sticking out. The
long back of her head was mottled. He approached slowly,
scanning her neck where the red marks of
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the nails were drawn on the purple bruises.

Hae-won, who couldn't feel anyone approaching behind her, was busy chasing
Hee-seong, who was coming out of the alley with a bright blue umbrella.

Seo Hae-young, who had transferred the shopping bag to her other hand,
remained silent and looked at the scenery reflected in Hae-won's eyes, then
reached out her hand. The corners of my mouth naturally lifted when I saw
Haewon turn around in surprise. Immediately, I placed my thumb and middle
finger in my left ear. The sound was quite loud.

However, Haewon, who was preoccupied with the outside world, didn't show
a happy expression. Her soft eyes were gently wrinkled. Seo Hae-young, who
was silently watching Hae-won, who was standing near the window with her
knees up following Hee-seong walking away, snapped her fingers again.

A hand on the window, a head following someone, a motionless posture. The

sound of raindrops hitting the large window echoed in the quiet room.

Suddenly, my stiff hand returned to my right ear.

Once again, perfect.

"ah... … !”
Machine Translated by Google

The shoulders covered by the white T-shirt bounced shockingly.

Haewon, her eyes wide open, looked back with a face more beautiful
than expected.
My eyes, wet and glistening, probably from crying, quickly looked
away. Then, I wiped the moisture away with the palm and back of
my hand to see if my red, crushed skin was itchy. Everything went
as expected, but there was no laughter.

Haewon quickly straightened up as if embarrassed to be looking

out. However, Seo Hae-young didn't sit beside her or say a word,
just stared at her left ear, which had faint teeth marks. Haewon, who
was staring at him with an incomprehensible expression on her
face, was startled and touched her bloody hands and arms.

Seo Hae-young, who had been following her injured hand as it

moved around, pulled the chair closer to her and sat down. As she
placed the shopping bag on the windowsill and looked at it, Haewon,
who had been fidgeting, seemed to remember something and bent
down to pick up the pack of cigarettes that had been placed on the
windowsill.

"here… … .”

Haewon held a cigarette in front of her lips and extinguished the

lighter with one hand. The metal cap opened and
Machine Translated by Google

It closed with a clicking noise. With the filter between her teeth, Seo
Hae-young looked at her right hand and clenched and unclenched it.

Right hand, left cheek, right hand, left ear, boiling fever, I went to the
hospital, didn't I? Really.

As the thoughts continued, Haewon quickly lowered her upper body,

covered the flickering flame of the lighter with her palm, and lit the tip
of a cigarette. Do you know or not that it's indoors where not even a
single breeze blows? Seo Hae-young inhaled the smoke she couldn't
finish, swirled the cigarette between her fingers, and opened her mouth
tightly. Haewon spoke first before she could exhale the smoke that
filled her lungs.

"that… …“Are you very close?”

"¿eh?"

“Lee Hee-seong. I feel like I haven’t seen you before… … .”

He left the closed window ajar and murmured in a hushed voice. A

question I hadn't heard in a long time gave me a prickling sensation. A
cool breeze blew behind Haewon, who had been lying down as if she
were sick the whole time, but was reacting more favorably than
expected. Seo Hae-young,
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Hiding his satisfaction, he shrugged as he watched his thumb scratch the skin
near his nails where blood was dripping.

"That's all."

"So… … , But why… … .”

"Oye, mano".

Haewon raised her head and dropped the hand she'd been clenching with a
regretful expression. As I tried to relieve my anxiety, I grabbed the window
frame and kicked weakly. Somehow, the hubbub and distracting behavior
barely subsided. She hesitated, as if the question rose in her throat, and then
stood up from the windowsill. When Hae-won blocked the way for her to
extend her legs before she could take a step, Hae-won sat back in her seat
with a distorted expression. It was a little funny, and I laughed.

When I tapped him on the leg and urged him on, he looked like he was going
to cry. When I touched his cheek and urged him on again, a tearful voice
came out.

"Just just…" … . I'm a friend too, but I don't know anything… … .”

The loose ball that came out after the hesitation instantly brought down Seo
Hae's mood-
Machine Translated by Google

young, who had been maintaining a pretty good line.

"Friend? Are you my friend?"

Haewon froze at the irritating question that arose as if she were in shock. I knew we
weren't friends anymore, but it was true that we were close, and it was just a word I
came up with because I didn't know how to express this relationship. I can't say with
my own words that I'm in a position to reciprocate.

"I'm sorry… … ."

My stomach was tight and I was short of breath. Seo Hae-young laughed and
moved a little closer, placing her hands on her knees. Haewon's eyes fell on the red
sparks contained in the cigarette between her fingers. My legs, which were wearing
thin pants that burned for no reason, trembled slightly. Seo Hae-young, who was
bending over, pushed her forehead and tilted her head back.

Our eyes met.

“You seem to be going back and forth a bit… … . "We're dating."

The low voice lingered for a long time, as if scolding a naughty child. The two eyes
that met
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were a dark mud. Haewon blinked her watery eyes and trembled. I wanted to
ask him what he was saying, so I bit my lip until blood started to flow. Until
morning, the man who had been strangling her neck and pressing her whole
body was talking strangely to himself. I don't know what kind of whim it is this
time.

"Okay? Do you understand, Haewon?

As if I'd drunk too much alcohol, my vision spun and my mind was all tangled.
Tears streamed down Haewon's cheeks as she swallowed her thick saliva with
difficulty. I searched for several months of memories and picked them out one
by one.

High-pressure dates, terrible sex, gifts you never asked for, and kisses every
morning instead of saying hello.

It was a strange day. There were also things that weren't necessary.
do. But that couldn't be possible. Normally, this kind of relationship wouldn't be
called "dating." Not only was this not the relationship he had imagined, but Seo
Hae-young didn't like him in the first place.

As the pottery rose, a shapeless spear pierced the shrunken stomach. I became
confused. Feeling like I was about to faint at any moment, I grabbed my thighs,
which were already bruised, and asked an absurd question. It was a question
that kept popping up as if
Machine Translated by Google

I would knock out my front teeth and throw up, and it was a question
I thought Seo Hae-young would never ask me.

“… … "¿Le agrado?"

Seo Hae-young, who was looking through her wide eyes, frowned
and burst out laughing.

The shortened cigarette burned not on my thigh but on the white

window frame. As I watched the cigarette ash fly and fall, one hand
slowly reached out and grabbed the back of my neck, and the other
covered my right ear. The scent mixed with the smell of cigarettes
tickled my nose. Seo Hae-young placed her lips against my left ear
and whispered something. The soft lips that brushed against my
earlobe opened and closed, then parted again, but I couldn't hear
anything.

Haewon floated for a long time, trapped in a quiet space where even
the sound of rain hitting the window muffled her breathing. Seo Hae-
young left a whisper that no one heard and faced Hae-won closely,
stroking her pale cheek. I looked into her empty, mesmerized eyes
and whispered softly.

"Did you hear?"

Machine Translated by Google

Haewon, whose face was wet with tears that never dried, slowly shook her head.
Seo Hae-young, whose upper body had been bitten, leaned back in a chair, crossed
and uncrossed her arms, clenched and unclenched her right hand, and smiled
vaguely after a period of silence.

“We are in big trouble… ….”

That was all. An appreciation for ears so blocked they can't even contain the
emotions being secretly conveyed.

A cool breeze blew in through the open window. Seo Hae-young stared at the
opponent in front of her, lost in countless thoughts. As I lost even the few things I
had one by one, growing helplessness piled up on my thin shoulders. The feeling
of helplessness was so heavy that the more I looked at the other person who
couldn't straighten their back, the more my peaceful mind began to tremble.

Yoon Hae-won, with her back to the light violet scenery and her hair fluttering,
looked like the rain that seemed to stop suddenly but then continued to flutter
without ceasing.
His eyes, with a gloomy gleam like rain soaking his trousers, slowly rose. The light
violet rectangle that smelled of rain had a strange feeling as if it were about to
disappear, so I had no choice but to
Machine Translated by Google

grab him with a sharp hook. Seo Hae-young's hook was a few
words.

"You now… … . "I really can't live without you."

He defined intense emotions in one word. The combination of

old-fashioned words united Hae-won and at the same time
organized Seo Hae-young's complex emotions. Seo Hae-
young let out a small gasp before wiping the back of her neck
and smiling. I didn't know how to stop the laughter that erupted,
so I shook my shoulders.

I found a reason to feel excited. It wasn't guilt or pity. It was

simply a feeling of absolute joy and satisfaction.

After taking just enough time to carve a purple square into her
pupil, she reached out and cupped Haewon's cheek, which
seemed to have been stuffed into place, and pulled her towards
her.

“You’re in big trouble, Haewon. You’re so screwed.”

He held his broad face between his palms, wiped his wet eyes,
and whispered a sly word. Have you ever experienced how
painful what happened to you was, and how many strange
people there were when you came out? The reprimands
Machine Translated by Google

based on facts permeated them all, redefining the essence of Haewon.

An idiot who has nothing, who can't do anything on his own, and who can't live
without someone's help.

The tears that hung from my drooping eyelashes fell.

Seo Hae-young, who sliced and diced his conscience, poured sweet temptations
between the open wounds. She promised a place to lie down, food to fill the
stomach, and luxuries that couldn't be obtained even if one lived like a child. There
was no response, but he was willing to be generous just for today.

“You don't have to worry. I'll take good care of you.”

Seo Hae-young, who had stopped pushing for the last time to kiss her pale cheek,
picked up the shopping bag left by the window and unwrapped it. I could have
come alone, but there was a reason I asked someone else to do it. Meeting Joo
Hyun-jeong, who had obvious things to ask, was just annoying. Joo Hyun-woo was
complaining about being stranded after having not only his passport but also his
credit card taken, but Hyun-jeong's frequent calls had been quite annoying lately.

Seo Hae-young took out a black case and looked at Hae-won.

Does Yoon Hae-won know how much Joo Hyun-woo struggles through the
Machine Translated by Google

sea? I had no intention of saying anything to her, so I dropped the empty

shopping bag on the floor and my empty gaze fell on the case.

My eyes widened slightly at the sight of a familiar case, then widened

unsightly. Seo Hae-young, with a friendly smile, placed the case in Hae-
won's hand and bowed.

"Do you know what this is?"

Unfortunately, it wasn't a gift for Haewon. Haewon seemed to know this

too, as she took a deep breath and stopped crying. Seo Hae-young
reached down, stroked her frozen shoulders, and opened the tightly closed
lid. As soon as I saw the object inside the opened lid, my wet eyes began
to roll back and forth.

“There’s no way he’s going to disappear…” It was a little strange, so I

looked him up. “Where have you been?”

"ah... … .”

A lump of regret flashed white in my trembling hand. Seo Hae-young

continued speaking while firmly grabbing both of Hae-won's forearms, who
was shaking her upper body due to a strong

dizziness.
Machine Translated by Google

"In front of the house. Someone abandoned him in front of the house. He's never
done that before, isn't that strange? Isn't it?"

When I gently shook my papery body, she stumbled helplessly. Seo Hae-young
straightened Hae-won, who was gagging as if she were about to vomit, and raised
the corners of her mouth. I tilted my head to look at her face as if asking her to take
a look, but Haewon's eyes were slightly crooked, and she was staring into space.
Her scrunched eyes clearly revealed her poor physical condition, but the work she
had to do today wasn't over.

"I don't want to buy a new one... …, so I fixed it.

"When you cheat on me."

Seo Hae-young took out a bracelet that had taken a long time to repair due to a
lack of accessories and smoothed out the small scratches left on the surface as
decorations due to bumps and rolling. It was obvious that this was where Yoon
Hae-won, who was ignorant of these things, had gotten the bracelet. Hee-sung
Lee and Hyun-jung Joo unlocked the bracelet, which had returned to its perfect
shape, and placed it on their white hands. Then, when I extended my arm so that
my palm was visible, my trembling hand held my wrist and wrapped the bracelet
around it, but the repaired lock showed no signs of being closed for a long time.
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young could wait no matter how many minutes or hours

passed. She had no intention of losing this tug-of-war.

The shiny silver bracelet was soaked just as the rain was about
to stop, just after the last drop of rain had hit the ground. As
always, it was Seo Hae-young's victory.

***

Heesung leaned against the wall of the rising elevator and looked
at the call list filled with missed messages. It was a contact I'd
received within the week. He ignores texts, hangs up on calls. It
wasn't just me who did this.
It seemed like I was going to school all the time, but I wondered if
that was why I was going to graduate on time.

Hee-seong arrived at the apartment where Tae-gyeom lived and rang the doorbell.
The hangover cure in the bag rattled. Ojiryan had a nature that
couldn't be hidden. Soon, the door opened with the sound of the
lock unlocking, and Heesung looked in over his shoulder before
waving and letting the corners of his mouth tilt.
Machine Translated by Google

to both sides. It was because the house I glimpsed was in disarray.

“Hey, what is this house…” … .”

"occupied."

"Get someone to clean it, you crazy man."

Hee-seong followed Tae-gyeom, who opened the door and walked in,
pushing aside the clothes stuck to his feet. The house was a mess, but the
smell of alcohol coming from Tae-gyeom was also unusual. Hee-seong
reflexively took the wheeled liquor bottle and put it on the shelf, but then
he noticed Tae-gyeom take out a cigarette and quickly open the window.
For some reason, the room felt muggy, and the ashtray was full of cigarette
butts.

As I fanned my hand and grumbled, Tae-gyeom, unusually obedient,

pulled up a chair and sat by the window with his back to me. It was
surprising that he was still obedient, as if he had a screw loose. Heesung,
who put the bag on the table, shook his head.

"I'm impressed… … . "Why are we doing this as a group?"

Machine Translated by Google

"Why did you come?"

"I came here because I was curious to know what you do."

There was a separate purpose, but I was still wondering if it was right to
say it, so I stopped talking. Since I had a lot of things to do to kill time, I
slowly cleaned up the surroundings and observed the atmosphere.

Tae-gyeom, who had been living a more distracted life since suddenly
jumping out of a car last winter, has been improving a bit these days. I
didn't know I was living with my house in this condition. Heesung
organized the thick books scattered on the sofa and placed them on the
bookshelf, opened the refrigerator, and spoke in a light tone.

"That… … . I heard Seo Hae-young is going to graduate school. Right?"

"Do I need to know?"

“No, whatever. Isn’t it okay to tell you the news? … .”

I thought his temper had subsided because he was acting calm, but it
turns out he hadn't. After putting the hangover cure in the refrigerator,
Hee-seong sat down on the relatively clean sofa and shook his legs.
Machine Translated by Google

Say it, don't say it. I was curious because I didn't say it, and Seo Hae-
young's instructions bothered me when I did.
I wanted to take a little more time, but turning around and trying to lift
people up was something Seo Hae-young was good at, not something
Hee-seong was good at. In the end, he ripped his black hair and
opened it.

“Yoon Hae-won… …Were you close to him?

Tae-gyeom, who was smoking a cigarette with his elbows resting on

the windowsill, straightened up. The expression on his face when he
turned around seemed quite unpleasant.
A suspicious look returned under his furrowed brows.

“How do you know about him?”

"Hey… … . I've seen him a couple of times. "Have a drink."

When Tae-gyeom looked at me silently as if he couldn't remember, I mentioned

"farewell party," and it was only then that he seemed to understand. However, that
didn't mean the boundary had been broken. My eyes were blurry because the
alcohol hadn't worn off yet.

“But why are you asking all of a sudden?”

Machine Translated by Google

“Just, whatever. I heard you went to the same high school.”

"No… …. Then why do you ask, you damn idiot?

An overly sensitive reaction aroused suspicion. Hee-seong bit her lip as she
recalled Hae-won's body covered in bruises. When I shrugged calmly and said I was
curious, I was greeted by disapproving looks. Hee-seong was sweating and asked
repeatedly, returning to the main topic. I didn't realize how awkward such persistence
was.

Taegyeom, who was quick to notice in the first place, laughed and lit his lighter. I
felt like I knew something, but my guessing skills were poor. Listening to a similar-
looking guy talk about Haewon Yoon, I felt dirty, so I smoked cigarettes all day,
forcing the smoke down my throat. I was in a position where I couldn't say it was
unfair even if I suddenly lost my life like this.

I went to school, ate, and slept day after day, but I was a little tired. I guess I was
haunted by the ghost of the drunk who died on the street and couldn't sleep unless
I drank. The headache kept getting worse, and when I had barely closed my eyes
and gone to sleep, what I wanted to forget came back to my dreams. Then they
kept showing the same scene from the same day.
Machine Translated by Google

Since it was something I could never forget, I went back to the

narrow alley where I'd met him, again and again. I didn't know
which house they lived in, so I knocked on all the doors I didn't
want to knock on, looking for Yoon Hae-won and the damn
gangster.

In fact, a sincere apology was in the background and there was

a selfish desire to keep him by her side at all costs.
I knew very well it was a disgrace. I knew very well it was pathetic.

It's been about a month since I was playing with a crumpled

photo and heard a story worth recording in a small supermarket.
I wonder if this person was really hit back then. It was said that
there was no problem because the ambulance would arrive that
day, and the story of Haewon, whom I had been searching for for
so long, came from the mouth of the supermarket's president.

The student who lived in that house returned to his hometown

and said his face fell. At the time, more than one person saw the
perpetrator, so the police remained silent. The person who lived
with them must have disappeared, and Haewon's whereabouts
and identity remained a mystery. They said she was a prostitute
selling her body or a gambler who owed private loans. It's not
something to say to a 20-year-old, but it was enough to be both
amusing and thought-provoking for him.
Machine Translated by Google

As I listened to the residents chatting and sitting together on a

small bench, only one person came to mind, and the thoughts
he had were simple.

That bastard lives a miserable life wherever he goes.

and, … …Fuck you, Seo Hae-young.

The montage created from the neighbors' mouths pointed to a

person. He pretended not to be in front of me, but for a player,
he was a natural child who quickly did his part.
While hesitating for a moment, I wanted to kill the guy who
robbed me. It was the fault of a person who was so jealous of
Seo Hae-young, who took care of Yoon Hae-won without doing
anything, that he took a long step and gave up at the entrance.

Haewon Yoon's doctor, who hadn't bothered him at all before, became extremely
annoying. I liked him so much that I sold him to my friend. I couldn't take a single
step because I wondered if I was happy anymore. The feeling of defeat that had
come over me without time to do anything about it vanished, and all that was left on
the surface of the sea was garbage.

Selfish, shameless, shameless trash. I wanted to open up.

I wanted to be comforted. The feeling of guilt and loss weighed
on my whole body and I couldn't bear it. He said no.
Machine Translated by Google

He did nothing wrong, so he should have been that repentant. I

hope Yoon Hae-won, who appears in my dreams every day, will
say that and offer me forgiveness.

Taegyeom looked out the window and flicked the ash off his cigarette. The city
lights, shining in all colors, reflected off the black riverbank. A group of people
dressed in school uniforms walked past the promenade, bursting into loud laughter.
The sound of laughter that reached the upper floors touched the pus that had been
stewing inside for months. A sudden burst of confession passed through my dry lips.

“… … "We were a little close."

As Hee-seong, who seemed to have nothing to gain, rubbed his

forehead, Tae-gyeom's mouth opened crookedly.
Hee-seong straightened and stared at the broad back, wondering
if he'd finally listen to something. I thought about throwing a
cushion at Tae-gyeom, who remained silent after saying only
one word, but it wasn't necessary. The words that followed
immediately changed Heesung's irritated expression.

“Raped you.”

"… … that?"
Machine Translated by Google

Taekyeom smoked a cigarette without looking back and continued saying

shocking words.

“He beat me and raped me. Lock them up... …with all those bastards.”

Last summer, which I couldn't reveal to anyone, he escaped in thick smoke.

"It was funny back then... … "Now I don't know why this happened."

There's no one here who can truly forgive me, so I don't know why I'm saying
this to someone who looks like me.

His empty gaze scanned the stretch of river. When you enter an alley so familiar
you can draw it with your eyes closed, you'll see an old house. When you arrive
in front of the rusty door, insert the key into the keyhole and turn it, a small
house is revealed, blocked by a wall before you can take a few steps.

Inside, there's a summer with a whirring fan and an old friend laughing and
talking nonsense. The sweat-soaked t-shirt, the soft skin in my hand, and the
scent of my glistening neck tickled my nose in the night breeze. Haewon wasn't
the only one trapped that summer.
Machine Translated by Google

The awkward silence stretched on. Tae-gyeom stubbed out his cigarette
and stood up, smiling bitterly like dying ashes.

"Go home, idiot."

I lightly hit Heesung on the back of his head, who was as stiff as a
stone statue, and headed for the refrigerator. I took out some cold
water and drank it, and the cold water went down my throat and cooled
my swollen emotions. It was clear who the obstructionist was, whether
it was three or four people, but if it was him who started it, I wanted to
end it too. It didn't matter if we couldn't return to the relationship we
had before. The selfishness of wanting to lighten the load was no
different from Joo Hyeon-woo, who ran away, so a helpless laugh
came out.

***

The scorching sun beat down in torrents. Haewon, lying face down,
pressed the game controller with her bandaged fingers. The cheerful
mechanical sounds coming from the speakers announced successive
defeats. No matter how many
Machine Translated by Google

I tried the easiest stage several times, the result was the same.
I lost, I lost, I lost again.

In the past, I would have laughed and said it wasn't the right day, but I couldn't do
that anymore. It seems like no matter how hard you try, you'll never win.

I stared at the window and asked if he wanted to try again and finally turned off
the game.

Thinking there was nothing I could do, I buried my face in the soft pillow and played
with my ear, which had been itching for a few days.

The words Seo Hae-young had been whispering since morning echoed in my
ears. After discovering I was deaf, whispering became Seo Hae-young's new
hobby. There were so many secrets that we constantly pressed our lips together,
and my left ear became a hole dug in the reed forest. A reed that doesn't tremble
even when the wind blows, therefore, secrets that won't leak out. Buried there too
was the answer to the hard-to-find question of whether you liked it.

I wanted to hear it, but I also didn't want to hear it forever. I felt hopeless even if it
were true, and sad even if it wasn't, so I felt comfortable not hearing it at all.
Machine Translated by Google

If they had asked me to go to the hospital, I would have refused.

I didn't want to be diagnosed with any problems.

That's why I liked Seo Hae-young's calm attitude.

I appreciated being treated as if there was no problem and
dismissing it as nothing. I was grateful, and it was okay. It had
to be that way. Even if I felt betrayed, it only made me sad, so I
had to do it.

Haewon held her breath as if no one was strangling her. I

clutched the pillow, pretending not to notice my lungs shrinking
and hurting. It would be better if I suffocated and died like this...
….

"Eh… … !”

Haewon, who had reached her limit, raised her head and took a
deep breath. The sound of my heartbeat echoed in my deaf
ears. And then the sound of the doorbell broke the silence and
pierced the narrow space.

As I walked down the stairs to the front door, the doorbell rang
continuously. There hadn't been any calls that someone was
coming, and no one had stopped by during the day on a
weekday. I went down because I was worried about being
scolded for seeing off Seo Hae-young's guest, but as soon as I
checked the intercom,
Machine Translated by Google

that was lit up outside the front door, I frowned.

The customer smiling and waving in front of the camera was an uninvited guest
from a few days ago.

"Isn't there a long line here?" It was already late when I left after
class. "There's plenty to give."

Haewon really wanted to cover her remaining ear. Not to mention

her cheerful, friendly voice, she talked too much.

"I skipped practice and bought it for you. Can't I have one?"
Seohyun... …A friend I met before liked this restaurant, so we
went there often and it was delicious.
Less sweet. Oh, you like sweets?

It was really serious. I moved my hand to rest my chin and lightly covered my ear,
and it leaked out to a certain extent, but that didn't mean my mouth would close. The
conversation started with the topic of whether it was too hot and then progressed
around dessert to talk about my girlfriend, whom I recently broke up with. In the
conversation that ran without a clear topic, Haewon didn't say a single word. It would
be more appropriate to say there was no time to do anything.
Machine Translated by Google

"But we'll meet again soon. Because we spent so much time together... … "We can't
finish each other off."

Heesung, who had been sitting on the floor, leaving the sofa behind, fell onto the
table. Haewon, who had been looking at her phone while biting her bandaged finger,
raised her head, and their gazes intertwined with his soft eyes.

Hae-won, who looked at Hee-seong while leaning his forehead against the cold
glass table, frowned with his red, swollen eyes. The feeling of entitlement that never
went away interpreted the look in my eyes as it wished and spread twisted thoughts.

Do you feel sorry for me? A miserable question was on the tip of my tongue. Instead
of asking directly, Haewon let out a short sigh, lowered her head, and lit up the
screen of the cell phone in her hand.

There were three hours and twenty minutes left until Seo Hae-young returned. I had
to send a total of four more texts, one per hour, but I lost track of time because
Heesung suddenly appeared.

[Don't you miss me?]

Machine Translated by Google

As soon as I read the text message that arrived on time like a ghost, I bit
my lip. Haewon waggled her finger and said, "I was playing," and after
thinking about it, she added another word. "Sorry." I've been busier lately,
so I thought I'd wait until I read it, but the check mark soon appeared.
Shortly after,

[Did you win?]

A brief reply came back, and I lied and said, "Yes." I put away my already
unresponsive cell phone and interrupted Hee-seong, who was talking to
himself again.

“Seo Hae-young is late. Come meet me later.”

It was a somewhat late wedding ceremony. He didn't hide his discomfort

and gestured toward the entrance with his eyes. I should have told him
before they came in, but they came so quickly and the wind was blowing
so hard that I didn't have the presence of mind to tell him. 'Oh yeah?' He
followed Hee-seong with his eyes as he got up from the floor, but instead
of walking out the front door, he sat down on the sofa with a gap of
distance between him and him.

Hae-won, who widened the ambiguous distance and retreated to the edge
of the sofa, moved away from Hee-seong, who burst into embarrassed
laughter and crossed her arms loosely.
A doll covered in handprints disappeared between the sides. Hee-seong,
who looked closely at Hae-won, who was
Machine Translated by Google

Crouching down and looking away, he checked the time limit and
got to the point.

"No vine a ver a Seo Hae-young".

"… … so?"

"fair enough. "I came to see if you were okay."

He kept smiling and talking about all sorts of things, but Heesung
felt equally uncomfortable facing someone who showed no signs of
welcoming him. Admittedly, I debated whether or not to come. Seo
Hae-young's openly showing-off attitude drew a line, and I thought I
might get hit or two if I crossed it without permission. However, the
story that wasn't even a joke I heard from Tae-gyeom, the cloudy
eyes, and the lingering feelings that filled the messy house led me
here.

Seohyun Kim did that once. You're going to have to pay for that
nonsense. But what can you do? The only thing I do after eating is
exercise, but I'm afraid I won't be able to avoid a blow or two. After
gathering her thoughts,
While massaging their joined hands senselessly, Heesung carefully opened his
mouth.

"WHO… …“Have you never come to visit me?”

Machine Translated by Google

Haewon shook her head with a blank expression. Ignorance dripped from her
exhausted face. Hee-seong stood up after watching Tae-gyeom's story, his face
deeply depressed. There were only about thirty minutes left until afternoon practice.
If you run, you'll be able to do well. While carrying a bag containing an extra set of
clothes, she suddenly reached out and ruffled her brown hair. The hair, which was
much softer than expected, tickled my fingers.

"See you later."

Hee-seong, who greeted Hae-won, who looked surprised and retreated, ignored his feeling of
unease and left the haunted house-like space. I was wearing slippers with bent heels, and I
didn't forget to tell them to eat them.

At the sound of the front door closing, Haewon, left alone with the dessert neatly
wrapped in a pretty package, repeatedly brushed and arranged her hair, which had
been touched by a stranger. For some reason, it felt like she was smelling a strong
perfume. She buried her nose in my shoulder, sniffed, and rolled her eyes from
side to side.

"Can't…" … ."
Machine Translated by Google

Seo Hae-young was sensitive. I had to wash it thoroughly before coming

here to get rid of the smell. Hae-won, who was hurrying up the stairs,
noticed a box of desserts on the table and pursed his lips. I grabbed the
bag and walked into the kitchen without hesitation.
The colorful dessert ended up in the trash can where the remains of lunch
were.

As the sun set and the time for Seo Hae-young's return drew near, I grew
more anxious. Haewon, who was pacing in front of the front door and
smoothing her dry hair, stood up with her hands clasped as soon as she
heard the sound of entering the password. As I took the greatest number
of precautions once again as the door opened, I raised the stiff corners of
my mouth.

Seo Hae-young approached me without even saying hello or asking how I

was. He lightly grabbed my butt and pulled me towards him. Immediately,
their lips met, and our warm breaths mingled. Just as I felt a little relieved
after sharing a kiss that was neither long nor short, the face that had fallen
suddenly lowered itself to the back of my neck. Breathing in the scent
gave me goosebumps.

"Have you washed?"

"ah... … , eh."

"I guess I washed it for a long time."

Machine Translated by Google

A hand slid from my shoulder and grabbed my wrist. The reason I felt
his gaze staring at me as I smoothed my wrinkled knuckles was
because of an unnecessary sense of victimhood. When I averted my
eyes, making a lame excuse that I'd taken a long shower because it
was hot, a strong hand grabbed my cheek and turned it.

"Do you want to lie again?"

"I'm not lying… ….”

"Tell me the truth. If you tell me now, I'll look at it."

Haewon, whose cheeks were pressed together, hesitated and was

dragged back. For some reason, I didn't want to immediately tell the
story that Lee Hee-seong had stopped by, so I didn't open my mouth.
Hae-won rolled his eyes at Seo Hae-young, his thumb and index
finger digging into her cheek with a grip that felt like it might break her
teeth. Strange delusions mingled in his eyes that had lost their luster.

If you say you came briefly during the day, they'll contact you and ask
why you came. They'll ask how you're doing and then have a
conversation that only they know about that day. In the future, maybe
I can meet.
Machine Translated by Google

to eat while I'm locked in this house and playing.

The two become friendlier and naturally a sense of distance
arises... … . I didn't like that.

Seo Hae-young, who raised her chin with a suspicious

expression while slightly shaking her captured face, pulled her
hand away without time to stop it. I reflexively bent my back and
took a step back, but a hand reached out without hesitation and
dug into my groin. Seo Hae-young brought her body closer,
holding her genitals and perineum, which had been touched so
roughly that her skin was cracked. Hae-won, who had hit her
back against the shoe rack, couldn't let go of the hand that was
massaging her until it hurt and she grabbed Seo Hae-young's
shoulder.

"Peace… … !"

"They chased me to the front door just because I didn't do it for a day. Wash
everything."

Seo Hae-young massaged the genitals hidden in thin trousers

without consideration and urged him to respond. The pain from
the pressure and the subtle pleasure that arose made my pale
cheeks blush. A playful sneer fell from his head as if he was
being scolded.

Hae-won had no right to dare confront Seo Hae-young, who

remembered telling him to wait at the entrance in time for his
arrival. I nodded.
Machine Translated by Google

endlessly, comforting myself with the fact that my lie was not
discovered.

“Ha, I want… … . Then, hands… … .”

"It's very revealing, really."

Seo Hae-young, having received a response she liked, willingly

gave him her hand. While he was busy pulling down the hem of his
shirt to cover his half-erect penis, she walked past him and even
slapped his buttocks. Hae-won, who stumbled and barely managed
to keep his balance, rubbed his sore buttocks even though he didn't
receive a very hard blow.

"Wait in the study."

Without looking back, I saw Seo Hae-young walk up the stairs alone
and silently touched her neck. When the figure behind him
disappeared completely, she let out a small voice.

"Did you have a good time?"

The greetings that should have come naturally when people were
dating only came out when there was no one to greet them. Haewon
opened her mouth again.
Machine Translated by Google

"How was your day?"

People ask questions like this in dramas and movies, but the conversation
between Seo Hae-young and her was a bit unique.
I was curious. Does everyone come out like that? Not excited, not
comfortable, scared, and sad.

My mouth, which had been blurting out a simple greeting as if reciting a

memorized script, suddenly closed. Haewon slowly moved her feet away,
toying with the protruding pole. One day, I wanted to cut my throat with
something sharp. I thought I could breathe a little easier if the flesh split
open and the rotten blood escaped through the gap. If you can breathe,
can't you find a reason to be sad?

***

The first day passed without incident. While Seo Hae-young worked
overtime, she sucked his cock without even noticing that her mouth was
being ripped open under the desk, and for the first time in a long time, she
lay face down and even exposed her butthole. Her tied wrists left bruises,
and her holes were nearly torn to shreds.
Machine Translated by Google

break, but I couldn't do this. It shouldn't be like this. My eyes were

slightly bloodshot as I stared at my phone.

[Save the number and call me when you're bored!]

Text messages from an unknown number were deleted as soon as they

were confirmed. Of course, I didn't save my contacts either. Today was
my fourth visit.
It seems he took the number while putting his phone down for a moment,
but his hand habits were worse than they looked. It got on my nerves
every day because Lee Hee-seong rang the doorbell every day or two.
It was clear the purpose wasn't to meet Seo Hae-young, since the
weekend didn't come, but I couldn't find a reason to visit. If the reason
really was to come see him, it was even harder to tell Seo Hae-young.
Maybe I should have said it then. The lies that snowballed bred regret.

"ey."

"Oh, yeah… …?”

Haewon, startled by the sudden call, flipped her phone over without
realizing it. Seo Hae-young, sitting next to her, pulled back her wet hair
and squinted. It was only after a brief silence that Haewon realized her
mistake, opened her mouth, and then laughed awkwardly.
Machine Translated by Google

"Surprised… … ."

“What did you do that surprised me?”

Seo Hae-young took the hand holding the blanket and squeezed it,
stroking the back of the hand with her thumb and suddenly giving it
strength. Haewon bit her lip and endured.
silently the pain he felt as if his bones were breaking.
Seo Hae-young, who twisted Hae-won's hand and climbed on top of
her, who behaved docilely without even saying that it hurt, kissed
her wrinkled eyebrow.

“Are you sure you're cheating again?

"¿Déjame?"

"ah... … !”

I felt a sharp pain in my sprained wrist. As I groaned and twisted, a

laughing voice and a stinging kiss landed on the back of my head.

“They say it's a habit. They say once you smoke it, you keep smoking
it. You're not a fucking person, are you?”
Machine Translated by Google

I didn't know if it was a criticism or a joke. Hae-won, who was struggling to turn
her head with her back pressed, saw Seo Hae-young's happy expression and
smiled weakly.
After bothering my neck and earlobes for a while, my body suddenly turned
around. Seo Hae-young, who had hugged his waist tightly, snuggled into the
tight embrace that didn't have room for others and closed her eyes.

"If you want to be treated like a human being, behave properly."

"eh… … .”

As expected, it was a conversation that had an unusual feel for a greeting at

the end of the day.
Haewon, resting her chin on the soft hair, closed her eyes for a moment, then
raised her upper body in shock. It was the red scene that colored my eyes.

"Why again?"

"No no... … .”

As I lay in the same position as the hand pulling my arm was guiding me, the
hand that brutally grabbed my face patted my back.
Machine Translated by Google

regularly. But the shaking didn't stop. Looking over Seo Hae-young's shoulder,
the room's black wallpaper was melting, and sticky blood was flowing from the
cracks. Red blood covered an unrecognizable face. The manager and Seungwan
were crawling around in the basement. The nightmare created by the white hand
stroking my back unfolded like a damaged film. Gritting her teeth, Haewon opened
her eyes wide and trembled.

Wind, Hee-seong Lee, Director, Seung-wan. There are no words that can be
grouped together. There's no way Seo Hae-young would put Lee Hee-seong in
that situation.

But why am I so afraid? I asked a question as I stared at the illusion, which shifted
as if the channel changed every time I blinked. Then, as if revealing the answer,
a loud sound spread from the small space where memories are stored.

"It's all because you're acting like an idiot."

I felt like I'd have a nightmare if I fell asleep now. I miss the insomnia that once
plagued so many people. When I gripped my eyelids and opened them wide, I
saw a monster, and when I closed them, nightmares ensued. And my prediction
was exactly right, as I woke up screaming several times during the night.
Machine Translated by Google

Even the grim face of Seo Hae-young, who skillfully climbed onto his thigh and
held his struggling forearm, was a nightmare. Blood dripped from the director's
insect-like face and wet his cheek. He screamed himself hoarse, was slapped,
calmed down, and woke up again.

It was a hellish night brought on by Lee Hee-seong, who invaded everyday life
without permission. And, although Hae-won doesn't remember it, it was a
family night for Seo Hae-young.

Haewon lifted her swollen eyelids and stared at the bracelet gleaming in the
dawn light. The hand that had arranged one of the pillows and propped it
against the headboard reached out and stroked my hair.

Sleep more.

A friendly but forceful command made my eyelids flutter shut. I thought he was
going to ask me to go outside and see him off, but for some reason Seo Hae-
young showed mercy.
After saying I'd be back that evening, I watched him leave the bedroom and
closed my eyes. My closed eyes didn't open even when the warm sunlight
pierced through the curtains.
Machine Translated by Google

Haewon, who was trapped in a state where a light sleep weighed

on her body and she could feel it but couldn't open her eyes, let
out ragged breaths. The deepening depression once again drew
my soul into a nightmare.

A damp, moldy basement, screams, fingers digging in holes, faces

covered in blood. Even if I wanted to wake up, there was no one
to wake me. I groaned and rolled over, but it was difficult to even
lift a toe, as if scissors had been pressed against it.

"Eh… … .”

At that moment, the large bed tilted at an angle. The rough texture
caressed my bruised cheek and brushed aside my disheveled hair.
It was too vivid, but it didn't seem realistic.
Haewon stiffened and snapped her fingers with all her might. As
soon as I moved my index finger, the chains binding my body
instantly came free.

I was exhausted and wanted to go back to sleep, but if I made a

mistake, I could have had an even worse nightmare.
I had no choice but to lift my eyelids because of the heavy weight.
My eyes, unable to adjust to the sudden brightness of my vision,
blinked and blinked. White curtains gently fluttering, windows wide
open, and the sun at my back... … .
Machine Translated by Google

“Haeyoung… … .”

I licked my lips and called his name, but there was no response.
Haewon reached out with her weakened hand and touched the wrist resting on the
bed. To think that the reality of having to rely on the cause of the nightmare is more
miserable than the dream itself.

When I lightly tugged on my wrist, a large palm caressed my cheek. Haewon buried
her lips in the palm of his hand, which felt strangely unfamiliar to her, and murmured
dreamily. I keep having bad dreams. Every time our lips brushed and collided to form
words, our lightly moving palms slowly rested on our eyelids. A slightly cool palm
covered my eyes. As the bed slowly tilted, my breath drew closer and tickled my lips.
The lips that fell together like feathers didn't push on the sticky tongue or suck on
the lower lip. All I could do was hold my breath and convey only warmth. A kiss that
felt like a light greeting calmed my heart that was pounding with fear.

The silence of a weekday and the warm lips made my solar plexus float. Haewon,
who had been silently receiving the kiss, suddenly lifted her eyelids. Her eyelashes
brushed against my palm and lifted clearly. Although the field of vision was dark,
Haewon was wandering elsewhere.