Diagnostic Comparison/Contrast Essay

COMMENCEMENT
Carol Gladstone
New York City
LISTENING AND READING – James Monroe High School
ELA students will: 1300 Boynton Avenue
▲ read/form opinions

3
Bronx, NY 10472-1511
▲ evaluate their own strategies
(718) 893-5800
▲ analyze, interpret/evaluate
(718) 991-6904 FAX
▲ evaluate/compare their/others’ work
Grade 12

SPEAKING AND WRITING – students

will:
▲ express opinions
▲ present arguments for certain views
In my classroom, I regularly make
▲ monitor/adjust for competent perfor- allowances for different learning styles by
mance using visuals, graphic organizers, tactile
▲ present orally or in writing well-devel- experiences by having students draw, and
oped analyses of issues role play. I connect their learning to other
disciplines, use community resources,
bring in speakers, and incorporate tech-
nology into the curriculum.

Y
oungsters need to know how to
write an effective essay and back
it up with facts or evidence from a
literary work. The implications of stu-
dents’ ability to organize, analyze, state
an argument, back up the opinion with
relevant, concrete examples, synthesize,
and draw logical conclusions lead well
beyond the Advanced Placement English
Literature and Language Examination or
its applicability to expository college
writing. These skills are termed “habits
of mind” by Robert Marzano in his book,
Dimensions of Thinking. Today’s students
will face a complex world in which they
will have to think clearly about what
they hear, see, and read. Since writing is
thinking on paper, students are being
trained in using higher-order thinking
skills, in other words, making critical
thinking a habit of mind.

55
 Thus, the diagnostic composition is the
touchstone both for the youngster and
teacher. It illuminates the youngster’s
ability to organize, think logically and
sequentially, and create new ideas from
information at hand. It gives youngsters
the tools to transfer a pedestrian class-
room experience into a useful approach
to personal and professional, political
and social issues that will face them all
their lives.

To begin the term, the class listed,

reviewed, and defined elements of analy-
sis. For homework students read a chapter
in their textbook about how to write an
essay. Next they read and discuss an
excerpt from the Odyssey in which
Odysseus tricks Polyphemus, the Cyclops,
so that Odysseus and his men could escape.
The class followed a modified reciprocal
teaching model in this lesson to summarize,
identify what was unclear to each student,
and clarify by asking other students to sup-
ply information. At the beginning of the lesson, the teacher models the questioning technique.
Then the class is divided into small groups and students continue questioning one another.
Following this session, the class read the Bible story (I Samuel:17 ) of David and Goliath, and
again engage in the modified reciprocal teaching model. Students generalized similar characteris-
tics of each hero and listed differences in their charts. Some responses elicited for similarities
were: courageous, intelligent, faithful to men, faithful to beliefs. Students noted some of the dif-
ferences as: setting, choice of weapons (burning stake vs. slingshot), age of hero. The class sub-
stantiated both stories with evidence from the text. They reviewed how to write a
comparison/contrast essay from a thesis statement with the schematic.

Students analyzed the character traits of a hero from reading about the exploits of Odysseus and
David.

After class discussion about analysis of literature, specific analysis of Odysseus and David, and
what constitutes the elements of an essay, the students wrote a diagnostic comparison/
contrast composition about David and Odysseus.

Youngsters need to know how to organize an essay from a thesis statement and give supporting
evidence from a generalization.

The implication of their ability to do this leads beyond

Reciprocal Teaching Model: In the reciprocal teaching the Advanced Placement English Literature and
model, students first tap into prior knowledge about a Language Examination or its applicability to expository
subject and predict what will happen. After reading, college writing. It is what Robert Marzano terms “habits
summarizing, identifying ambiguities, and clarifying, of mind.” In short, students who can organize, analyze,
they check their predictions about what actually hap- state an argument, logically take a stand by giving evi-
pened and predict again. dence from the text, and synthesize the implications of
the point think more clearly.

56
Teacher Model of Paragraphs
Comparison/Contrast Essay:
David and Odysseus
Paragraph 3—Contrast
Despite David’s and Odysseus’s similarities, there were a number of notable differences in their
status, settings, and professions. Odysseus was already a proven leader as victor in the Trojan
War. He had the respect of his men and enjoyed a following. David, on the other hand (transi-
tion) was a lowly shepherd. Skeptics among the Israelites doubted whether or not he could fell
the dreaded giant Goliath. On a journey back to Greece from Troy, Odysseus was engaged in a
battle on what is now the European continent. The Biblical story takes place across the
Mediterranean Sea in the Middle East between David and the Philistine.

Paragraph 4—Conclusion: What I learned about literature and others

What is most notable about these classical heroes is not so much their distinctions as their simi-
larities (transition). Perhaps the parallel stories set on both sides of the world as people knew it
before the time of Christ serve to indicate that great leaders come from the humble as well as the
mighty. The characteristics of David and Odysseus evoked a certain awe in those who observed
them, and continue to evoke awe in the modern reader. Leadership has not changed over the
centuries (universal truth). People still look up to men and women who demonstrate courage,
cleverness, and fortitude in the face of difficulty. Consequently (transition), stories written thou-
sands of years ago and their characters have timeless appeal (universal truth).

Rubric: Content
1. Essay has not addressed the question.
Assessment
2. Essay is illegible, i.e., includes so many indeci-
pherable words that no sense can be made of
the response.
3 Essay is incoherent, i.e., words are legible but
syntax is so garbled that no sense can be made
of the response.
4. Essay is a blank paper.
5. Essay is not turned in.

57
 Rubric: Content
1. Essay makes a superficial attempt to address the question.
2. Essay exhibits no discernible structure and lacks an introduction and conclusion.
3 Essay presents an unprovable thesis statement which is not supported by examples of simi-
larities or differences from both stories or contains irrelevant or inaccurate information.
4. Essay may lack either comparisons or contrasts between Odysseus and David.
5. Writer makes little attempt to analyze or synthesize information in essay. Writer makes no
attempt to draw logical conclusions or generalizations about self, others, or the world of lit-
erature.

Rubric: Mechanics
6. Writer employs vague, inappropriate, and/or incorrect level of language in essay.
7. Essay exhibits many errors in conventions of English grammar and usage.
8. Mechanical errors often impede communication of message.

Rubric: Pacing
9. Writer cannot produce more than a paragraph within a class period.

Rubric: Content STUDENT SAMPLE OF PARAGRAPHS

1. Essay attempts to address the question. ORIGINAL
2. Essay exhibits a discernible structure but may
lack either an appropriate introduction or con- Odysseus and David were two characters who
clusion. overcame an obstacle that lead them to a great tri-
3 Essay presents a tentative thesis statement umph. However, they had a few differences as to how
which is supported by one or two examples of
they went about obtaining such great success.
similarities and differences from both stories.
To begin with, Odysseus from Greece was an older
4. Essay may lack either comparisons and con-
trasts between Odysseus and David. man who was a sailor. His determination was to defeat
5. Writer cannot analyze or synthesize information a kyklops who was eating Odysseus’ people. he first
in essay. Writer cannot draw logical conclusions began by using his cunning skills. Odysseus told
and generalizations about self, others, or the Polyphemus that his ship got wrecked in a storm.
world from the literature. Next, he said his name was Nobody so Polyphemus
wouldn’t know his name. Then Odysseus and his men
Rubric: Mechanics waited until the kyklops fell fast asleep and they
6. Writer employs ordinary, often imprecise, level blinded him. This was done by taking out his eyeball
of language in essay. from his sockets. With this ascendancy Odysseus was
7. Essay exhibits errors in conventions of English able to free his people from a cannibal who was doing
grammar and usage.
harm to them and became their hero.
8. Mechanical errors often impede communication
David from the Bible story was a young child who
of message.
became a hero in Israel after defeating Goliath. Goliath
Rubric: Pacing who was a soldier fro the Philistines was more than
9. Writer can produce a partially developed, two- willing to go against anyone to defend his title and his
paragraph essay within a class period. people.
David who was a Sheppard for his father’s sheep,
went up against Goliath instead. His accomplishment
came about when David used his slingshot and hit
Goliath on his forehead knocking him down. He then
took Goliath’s own sword and stabbed him with it. It
was pretty ironic that a child was able to save his peo-
ple from becoming slaves, but it was done and fro this
reason he became a hero as well.

58
Rubric: Content
1. Essay generally addresses the question.
2. Essay is organized into four paragraphs including an introduction,
two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
3 Essay presents a thesis statement which is supported by two
examples of similarities and differences from both stories.
4. Essay compares and contrasts Odysseus and David.
5. Writer analyzes and synthesizes information in essay and draws
logical conclusions and generalizations about self, others, or the
world, capturing some complexity of heroic traits in a person’s
actions from the literature.

Rubric: Mechanics
6. Writer employs ordinary level of language in formal essay.
7. Essay follows most conventions of English grammar and usage.
8. Mechanical errors generally do not impede communication of
message.

Rubric: Pacing
9. Writer can produce a developed-on-demand essay within a class
period.

Grade: 4
Rubric: Content
1. Essay addresses the question.
2. Essay is organized into four paragraphs including an introduction,
two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
3 Essay presents a focused thesis statement which is supported by
three examples of similarities and differences from both stories.
4. Essay compares and contrasts Odysseus and David.
5. Writer analyzes and synthesizes information in essay and draws
logical conclusions and generalizations about self, others, or the
world, capturing most complexity of heroic traits in a person’s
actions from the literature.

Rubric: Mechanics
6. Writer employs generally appropriate level of language in formal
essay.
7. Essay follows most conventions of English grammar and usage.
8. Mechanical errors generally do not impede communication of
message.

Rubric: Pacing
9. Writer can produce a generally-developed-on-demand essay within
a class period.

59
 Rubric: Content
1. Essay addresses the question.
2. Essay is organized into four paragraphs includ- STUDENT SAMPLE OF PARAGRAPHS
ing an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a
conclusion effectively linked with appropriate REWRITE
transition.
3 Essay presents a focused thesis statement Both Odysseus and David were nimble men.
which is supported by three examples of simi-
Odysseus used his cunning skills to distract
larities and differences from both stories.
Polyphemus the giant. He first got the cyclops drunk
4. Essay compares and contrasts Odysseus and
David. and blinded him by putting a stake through his eye.
5. Writer analyzes and synthesizes information in He then mislead Polyphemus by saying his name was
essay and draws logical conclusions and gener- “Nobody” so that he would move the boulder from
alizations about self, others, or the world, cap- the cave allowing Odysseus and his men to escape.
turing full complexity of heroic traits in a per- David, as well, skillfully used his slingshot to defeat
son’s actions from the literature. the leviathan Goliath. These two men had a strong
belief in their gods. David, in God; Odysseus in Zeus
Rubric: Mechanics and Athena. Due to their courage, their mental stabil-
6. Writer employs appropriate level of language in ity and strong faith, these men were able to save their
formal essay. Writer effectively uses sentence people as well as themselves.
structure and length to convey ideas.
8. Essay follows correct conventions of English
grammar and usage.
9. Mechanical errors do not impede communica-
tion of message.

Rubric: Pacing
9. Writer can produce a fully-developed-
on-demand essay within a class period.

Reflection
Students could have been asked to write a one- or two-paragraph summary of each story instead of listen-
ing to one another recount them. Several students were confused with the details, plot, and characters.

Current scholarship includes constructivism. Students make meaning out of what they read based on their
own backgrounds. However, I am a strong advocate of scaffolding and modeling. The literary charts provide
students with the framework of a composition. Models show the class what good student writing and pro-
fessional writing look like, and they provide excellent examples for the students to follow.

60