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Gibbs Writing Sample

The document explores the creation of devised theatre as a personal and relatable expression of the author's journey with queerness and mental illness. It discusses the challenges of expressing emotions and the impact of societal expectations on identity, particularly through the lens of the male gaze and compulsory heterosexuality. The author aims to reverse the narrative of objectification and empower their story through performance, highlighting the importance of audience interaction in the process.

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Ella Gibbs
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2 views3 pages

Gibbs Writing Sample

The document explores the creation of devised theatre as a personal and relatable expression of the author's journey with queerness and mental illness. It discusses the challenges of expressing emotions and the impact of societal expectations on identity, particularly through the lens of the male gaze and compulsory heterosexuality. The author aims to reverse the narrative of objectification and empower their story through performance, highlighting the importance of audience interaction in the process.

Uploaded by

Ella Gibbs
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Why Devising?

According to Camille Oswald, devised theatre “is based on the real-life experiences,

feelings, ideas, and reactions of the artists. It’s personal. It’s immediate.”1 I set out with the goal

to create something personal and relatable in regards to my journey with queerness and mental

illness. In developing the set list, script, and costumes, I drew inspiration from my life and

therefore, my story. What was the closeted version of myself like, and how can I translate that to

the stage through my song choices and dialogue? How far can I border on the truth versus the

fantasy of the made-up world I’ve created for myself and the audience?

There is something incredibly captivating in creating something from nothing, and further

developing it into something true and impactful. In my own life, I try not to take myself too

seriously, because if I did, I imagine I’d be rather miserable. When approaching this project, I

found it challenging to express anger, frustration, or sadness without being judged; when I have

expressed more “negative” emotions in the past, I often resort to laughing or self-deprecation to

make myself feel better and convince myself that my situation is comedic in its own way. I

wanted to utilize this feeling in my piece, specifically in the overtly sexual moments (Let Me

Entertain You) and moments of depression and anxiety (the self-harm sequence shown before

Clean).

For example, in Act II of Gypsy, Louise is pressured and forced to perform burlesque to

keep her mother’s performance slot in the theatre. In this case, Louise must sing; the stakes are

life or death (at least in the eyes of Rose). Initially, Louise is terrified, which is understandable:

she’s extremely young and has been shoved on stage to show off her body and sexuality, traits

that have remained a mystery to her for years. She begins to sing a jazzy version of Let Me

1 Oswald, Camille. “What Is Devised Theatre?” Court Theatre, September 26, 2023.
https://www.courttheatre.org/about/blog/what-is-devised-theatre/.
Entertain You, a song that has plagued her childhood after seeing her younger sister June

perform it over and over. As the song progresses, Louise’s confidence grows. She begins to

realize the power she has, after being so vulnerable at the beginning of the song. By the end of

the song, she has seductively interacted with the audience, throwing gloves at her adoring fans

and teasing them with her costume pieces. Louise leaves her naivete to gain her true power. I

was particularly drawn to songs and characters that are highly sexualized (Gypsy and Singin’ in

the Rain) due to their exposure to the male gaze; in Singin’ in the Rain, the first All I Do is

Dream of You performance features showgirls in frilly pink costumes in a packed room. The

women are purely there for entertainment and to please the men in the room. Now, the song in

itself is not sexual, I am simply stating that the environment in which the women are in becomes

objectifying. In the context of my show and this essay, I define the male gaze as the perception

and objectification of women/femme-presenting individuals. This is different from patriarchal

standards and heteronormative behaviors. I saw part of myself within them, and the feeling of

having to perform for men without prioritizing myself first. In The Tragedy of a Bisexual

Primadonna, I am reversing the narrative; the performative nature of the songs has now become

empowering and focused on my own journey.

In an interview with Lisa Kron about queerness in the theatre industry, she delves into the

process of creating a show and how one’s “primary relationship is with an audience.”2 This idea

is something that I have attempted to understand better as I moved forward in the devising

process. Whether I chose to perform as the character version of Ella or tell the truth as the real

Ella, audience interactions were important factors for me to consider. Another theme in my show

is objectification, and how I am viewed by other people. The audience is crucial to establishing

2 Toy-Johnson, Christine. LGBTQIA+ Artists on Inclusivity in Musical Theatre. Other. Digital Theatre+,
November 1, 2020.
this theme; in fact, I have taken the influence of the male gaze (in my experience as a queer

individual) and applied that to the role of the audience.

Growing up, I always felt like there were rules to heteroromantic relationships, unspoken

or spoken: you will grow up and get married to a man, have his children, cook, clean, and live

happily ever after. Now, this sounds rather outdated, but it’s a fear I’ve have instilled within me

for years. If I marry a man, will it be more satisfactory to my parents than if I marry a woman?

Some queer individuals are left with this indescribable need to be validated and liked by men,

whether or not they choose to admit it. Heterosexual women may not even think about this

concept too intently, but for a queer person, abiding by the straight relationship norms to satisfy

or please family, friends, and of course, men is a looming worry and fear. This framework is

linked to compulsory heterosexuality, the little voice in a queer non-man’s brain that eggs them

on in forms of denial, embarrassment and invalidation of one’s sexuality.

According to Adrienne Rich, “it is lesbian sexuality which (usually, and incorrectly,

“included” under male homosexuality), is seen as requiring explanation.”3 While I do not

identify as a lesbian, similar parallels can be drawn between lesbian and bisexual identity.

Compulsory heterosexuality, or comp het, takes elements from one’s fears about their identity

and becomes a loud, upsetting source of hate. In my performance, I show an example of what

comp het has looked like in my brain. It is a hovering presence of anxiety, that one day I’ll wake

up having never lived my true self. Specifically, that I’m 40 and I’m married to a man, with kids,

and realize I never got to have a relationship with a woman.

3 Rich, Adrienne. “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.” Feminisms, February 19, 1998, 320–24.
https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780192892706.003.0054.

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