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Assignment 1

The document provides examples of rewriting text to use more familiar, concrete, active and positive language. Some key changes suggested include replacing unfamiliar words with more familiar synonyms, using specific details instead of vague terms, changing from passive to active voice, avoiding discriminatory terms, adopting a conversational instead of formal style, addressing the reader directly using "you" instead of "we" and accentuating the positive rather than negative.

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maswood
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414 views

Assignment 1

The document provides examples of rewriting text to use more familiar, concrete, active and positive language. Some key changes suggested include replacing unfamiliar words with more familiar synonyms, using specific details instead of vague terms, changing from passive to active voice, avoiding discriminatory terms, adopting a conversational instead of formal style, addressing the reader directly using "you" instead of "we" and accentuating the positive rather than negative.

Uploaded by

maswood
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Available Formats
Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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USING FAMILIAR WORDS

Unfamiliar Words 1. We must terminate all deficit financing. 2. We must endeavor to correct this problem by expediting delivery. Familiar Words 1. We must stop all expenses over revenue. 2. We must try to correct this problem by speeding up delivery.

3. Business has an inordinate influence on Governmental operations.


4. Our expectations are that there will be increments in commodity value. 5. Peoples propensity to consume is insatiable.

3. Business has an undue influence on Governmental operations.


4. We hope that there will be growth in commodity value. 5. Peoples tendency to consume is not satisfy able.

SELECTING CONCRETE WORDS


Abstract Words 1. She makes good grades. 2. John lost a fortune in Las Vegus. 3. If we dont receive the goods soon, we will cancel. Concrete Words 1. She makes more than 95% score in the exam. 2. John lost a chance to win jackpot in Las Vegus Casino. 3. If we dont receive the goods by the end of December 31st, 2013, we will cancel the order # 777. 4. Here is a product with 5% markup. 5. We will need the packaging equipments by December 31st,2013

4. Here is a product with very little markup. 5. We will need some new equipment soon.

Limiting Use of Passive Voice


Passive Words Active Words

1. Our action is based on the assumption that the competition will be taken by surprise.
2. It is believed by the typical union member that his of her welfare is not considered to be important by the management.

1. We took our action assuming that the competition will be taken by surprise.
2. Typical union member believed that management do not consider their welfare important.

3. You were directed by your supervisor 3. Your supervisor directed you to complete this assignment by noon. to complete this assignment by noon. 4. It is believed by the writer that this company policy is wrong. 5. The union was represented by Cecil Chambers. 4. The writer believes that this company policy is wrong. 5. Cecil Chambers represented the union.

Avoiding Discriminatory Language


Discriminatory Words Nondiscriminatory Words

1. Any worker who ignores this rule will have his salary reduced.
2. The typical postman rarely makes mistakes in delivering his mail.

1. We will reduce salary of a worker who ignores this rule.


2. The typical mail carrier rarely mistakes in delivering their mail.

3. A good executive plans his daily activities.


4. The committee consisted of a businessman, a banker and a lady lawyer. 5. A good secretary screens all telephone calls for her boss and arranges his schedule.

3. Daily activities of a good executive is always planned / plan wise.


4. The committee consisted of a businessperson, a banker and a lawyer. 5. A good secretary screens all telephone calls and arranges schedule for their boss.

Using Conversational Style


Stiff and Dull Conversational

1. I hereby acknowledge receipt of your 1. I have received your July 7 July 7 letter. letter.
2. Anticipating your reply by return mail, I remain 2. I will be happy if you reply by return mail.

3. This is to advise that henceforth all invoices will be submitted in duplicate.


4. Kindly be advised that permission is hereby granted to delay remittance until the 12th.

3. Onward we will submit all invoice in duplicate.


4. We have granted your delay remittance request until the 12th.

5. I am submitting under separate cover 5. The report you requested for the report you requested. is enclosed under separate cover.

Using the You-Viewpoint


We You-Viewpoint

1. Company policy requires that you submit the warranty agreement within two weeks of sale.
2. We will be pleased to deliver your order by the 12th.

1. You are requested to submit warranty agreement within two weeks of sale.
2. Your order will be delivered by the 12th.

3. Today we are shipping the goods you ordered February 3.


4. We are happy to report approval of your application for membership. 5. Items desired should be checked on the enclosed order form.

3. Your order of February 3 will be shipped today.


4. Your application for membership has been approved. 5. You are requested to checked on the enclosed order form for the items you desire.

Accentuating the Positive


Negative Positive

1. Your misunderstanding of our January 7 email caused you to make this mistake.

1. According to our January 7 email, we will be responsible only when we service the equipment.

2. Your negligence in this matter caused 2. The equipment should last the damage to the equipment. long if you took care in this matter. 3. Even though you were late in paying the bill, we did not disallow the discount. 3. You will get the discount if you pay the bill by this week.

4. I regret the necessity of calling your attention to our letter of May 1.


5. We have received your undated letter, which you sent to the wrong office.

4. I appreciate your attention to our letter of May 1.


5. We have received your letter dated nil via our Chittgong Office.

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