Conflict Management

Presented by:

Azhar A Jatoi
S. Raza Hassan
 Inside
 What is Conflict?
 What Causes Conflicts
 Categories of Conflicts
 Myths About “Conflict”
 Describe difference between Conflict Management Approaches
– Constructive
– Destructive
 Conflict as a Process
 Conflict Management
 Factors affecting our Conflict Management
 Conflict Management Styles
 Basic elements
 Five Steps in Assertive Behavior
 How to be Assertive
 REMEMBER!!!!!
 Questions / Comments are welcome anytime during
the entire presentation
BUT
To Avoid Any “CONFLICT” make sure to;
– Raise your hand to gain the attention of the
presenter
– Speak Loudly while asking questions
– Constructive Criticism is welcome BUT
Destructive Criticism will be considered as NOISE
– Keep your Questions / Comments as short as
possible
 What
is
CONFLICT?
 The Conflict is:
 A disagreement between Two or More persons that may
be the result of different:

– Ideas
– Perspectives
– Priorities
– Preferences
– Beliefs
– Values
– Goals
– Organizational Structures
 ‘Conflict’ as seen by others

Instead of suppressing conflicts, specific channels could be

created to make this conflict explicit, and specific methods
could be set up by which the conflict is resolved.
Albert Low

The most important of life's battles is the one we fight daily

in the silent chambers of the soul.
David O. Mckay

A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights
Napoleon Bonaparte
 Different Places
At Work At Home

In General
 Video

 Movies\conflict1.flv
 What causes Conflicts

Perceived breach of faith and trust between individuals

Unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an
emotional level
Miscommunication leading to unclear expectations
Personality clashes
Underlying stress and tension
Ego problem
Any Combination of the above
 Categories of Conflicts
There are basically Four different types of
conflicts

Person Vs Person
Occurs when a Person has an argument or
disagreement with other Person

Person Vs Society
Occurs when a person disagrees with societal
values, laws or beliefs
 Categories of Conflicts Cont..

Person Vs Nature
Occurs when a person has a problem with
outside forces, such as Weather Conditions,
Unforeseen Circumstances etc.

Person Vs Self
Occurs when a person develops an internal
struggle between his thoughts and ideas
 In a Broader Sense

 Pseudo Conflict (Individuals misunderstood each other)

 Can be a cause of misunderstanding
 Can be resolved with more information

 Simple Conflicts (Individuals disagree over action to pursue

goals)
– You want to go to Sea Side and not to some Noisy Concert
– You want to take the Taxi and NOT the Rickshaw
 In a Broader Sense Cont..

 Ego Conflicts (Individuals feel Personally attacked)

– Caused by making personal attacks
– Can turn a “Pseudo” or “Simple” conflicts into more complex
ones
– Can surface the sensitive issues we have for the opponent
Take the Test
 Myths About “Conflict”
Conflict can Always be Avoided
 They cannot be eliminated but can be avoided

Conflict always Occurs because of Misunderstanding

Conflictis always a sign of a poor Interpersonal

Relationship
– Not always, as “Free Expression” or “Honest
Disagreements” are the Hallmark of a healthy relationship
 Myths Cont..

 Conflict can always be resolved

– Conflicts are not stains on shirt that can be removed
– Sometimes individuals have to agree to disagree and
live with it
 Conflict is always Bad
– Healthy discussions give us insight of a relationship
– Conflict free relationships are sometimes labeled as
“Dishonest Relationships”
 Constructive Conflict
 Helps build new insights and establishes new patterns
in a relationship
 The airing of differences can lead to a more satisfying
relationship in the long run
 Can Suggest which elements of a relationship need to
be changed or improved
– Example: A couple arguing about talking all the
time but still not talking about the issues common
to them and then one of them suggests that they
should move to a solitaire location and talk out
their differences
 Destructive Conflict

 Dismantles relationships without restoring them

 Creates a lack of flexibility towards others
 Creates a ‘WIN-LOSE” perspective rather than
looking for a solution
 It is as destructive as a tornado churning through a
trailer park
 Blocks off opinions
 Conflict as a Process

 Source
– Prior Conditions
» The stage is set for conflict because of difference in the
individuals actions or attitude
 Beginning
– Frustration Awareness
» One individual becomes aware that the differences are
problematic and becomes frustrated and angry
 Conflict as a Process (Cont)

 Middle
– Active Conflict
» The individual communicate with each other about the
differences; the conflict becomes an expressed struggle
 End
– Resolution
» The individuals begin seeing ways to manage the
conflict
 Conflict as a Process (Cont)

 Aftermath
– Follow-up
» The individuals check with themselves and each
other to monitor whether both are satisfied with the
resolution
Result of Conflict
Conflict Management
 Conflict Management

 What’s your approach to managing interpersonal

conflict??

– Fight
– Flight
 How do you take it?

 Do you tackle conflict

Head-ON
Or

 Seek ways to remove

yourself from it?
 Factors affecting our Conflict
Management

 Personality
 Individual with whom we are involved in a
conflict
 Time
 Place of Confrontation
 Other situational factors
 Video

 Movies\Conflict_Intro.flv
 Two / Three Dimensional
Management

 Two Dimensional Management

– How concerned you are for the others
– How concerned you are for yourself
 Three Dimensional Management
– Non-confrontational (Avoiding, Withdrawing,
Being indirect)
– Controlling (Attempting to use power strategies)
– Cooperative (Seeking a solution suitable for both
sides)
 Non-Confrontational
Management
 Categories are;
– Placating
– Distracting
– Computing
– Withdrawing
– Giving in
 Placating

 Attempt to please
 Generally uncomfortable with negative emotions
 Fear rejection
 Seek Approval
 Avoid threats to their self-worth
 Never seem to get angry
 Seem unresponsive to the situation
 Quickly agree with others to avoid conflict
 Avoid confrontation at all cost
 Distracting

 Attempt to change the subject to avoid

conflict
 Don’t face the issues directly

They hope that eventually the problem will

just go away if it can be put off long enough
 Computing

 Remain Aloof and Cool

 Avoid emotional involvements
 Refuse to be provoked or ruffled even under
intense pressure
 Characterized by
– Low Empathy
– Minimal involvement with the issues at hand
 Withdrawing

 Either physically or psychologically

 Most common replies are;
– “I don’t want to talk about it”
– “It’s not my problem”
– “Don’t bother me with that now”
– “I am not interested in that”
 Give-in

 Consistently give in when faced with conflict

 Surrender before the conflict escalates

Your dad want to watch a “Documentary” on FIFA

“World Cup Final’s Day” but you don’t?

“OKAY, FINE”
 Controlling Style

 Almost always want to dominate others

 Make sure that the objectives are achieved
 Have a “Win-Lose” philosophy
 Claim victory over their opponent
 Play the blaming game
– “Don’t look at me”
– “I didn’t do it”
 Cooperative Management

 Separate the people from the problem

 Focus on shared interest
 Generates many options to solve problems
 Bases decisions upon objective criteria

This type of management is the most

commonly used and sought one
 Basic elements

 Manage your emotions

 Manage Information
 Manage Goals
 Manage the problem
 Manage your emotions

 Avoid taking actions when you are feeling

anger, frustration, fear, or even sadness
 Expressing your feelings in an emotional
outburst may;
– Make us feel better, but may close the door to
logical, rational negotiation
 Select a mutually acceptable time and place
to discuss a conflict
 Be Aware that you are becoming Angry and
Emotionally Volatile

 Characteristic of people who “lost it” is that

they let their emotions get the best of them
 Before knowing, they say and do which
they later regret
Seek to understand Why you are Angry and Emotional

 Anger Triggers might be because

– You do not think you have been treated fairly
– You feel entitled to something that is being
denied
 Think about your last anger, which must be related
to aforementioned reason
Select a Mutually Acceptable Time and Place to Discuss a Conflict

 If you ambush someone with an anger

attack, do not expect him to be in a
productive frame of mind
 Give yourself time to cool off before you
try to resolve a conflict
 Make sure to discuss with the individuals
when they are ready to receive your
message
 Cont

 Plan your message

– Organize your message
– Identify your goals
– Determine the outcome you expect
– Don’t barge in and pour out your emotions

 Monitor Nonverbal Messages

– Can help reduce the conflict’s intensity
– Speaking Calmly
– Using direct eye contact
 Cont

 Avoid Personal Attacks, Name calling and

Emotional overstatements
– Can turn a simple conflict into an ego conflict
– When people feel attacked, they will respond to
defend themselves
– Avoid exaggerating your emotions
 Manage Information

 Clearly describe the conflict-producing events

– “I told you to do this job on Wednesday, when you

didn’t do it, you shifted it on Friday and its Saturday
now. When are you planning to do this job? I almost
got a warning from the boss due to your delay
 Cont

 Own your statement by using “I” language

– “ I feel upset because you posted the schedule without

first consulting me”
» People will get less agitated by using the “I”
language instead of “You” or “They” or “Them”
 Video

 Movies\Conflict_IStatements.flv
 Cont

 Use effective listening skills

– Give full attention to the speaker
– Tune-out your internal messages

 Use effective response skills

– Respond clearly and appropriately
– If you are unsure about the facts and issues
involved in a conflict then ask for more
information
 Manage Goals

 Identify your goal and your partner’s goal

 Identify where your goals and your

partner’s goals overlap
 Identify Your and Partner’s Goal

 After describing, listening and responding, the next

task is to identify what you would like to have happen
 Example:
– Problem:
Your boss approaches you and wants you to work
overtime; you need to give time to your family
– Goals:
You want to leave work on time; your boss wants
the work completed ASAP
 Identify Overlapping Goals

 Frame the problem as “How can both

parties achieve mutual goals?”
 Goals should be Measurable and of
Objective nature, rather than subjective
 Manage the problem

 Define the problem

 Analyze the problem
 If necessary get more information to clarify
issues
Problem Solving Structure
 When Others Aren’t Other Oriented

 Even if you master conflict management

skills, others may create irrational,
inappropriate demands

 In these cases assert yourself

Five steps in assertive behavior

Describe
Paraphra
se

Disclose

Be Silent

Identify
Needs
 Describ
e
Paraphr
ase

Describe
Disclos
e

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs

Describe how you view the situation

You need to be assertive because other person has not been

other oriented

Example: “I see you haven’t completed the report yet”

Calmly yet confidently define the problem

Avoid sarcasm or excessive vocal intensity

 Describ
e
Paraphr
ase

Disclose
Disclos
e

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs

 Disclose your feelings

 It will help to build empathy
 Example: “I feel the work I ask you to do is
not a priority with you.”
 Describe how you fells not others are
feeling
 Describ
e
Paraphr
ase

Identify Effects
Disclos
e

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs

 Next, you can identify the effects of the

other person’s behavior on you or others.

 Example: “Without that report, our team

will not achieve our goal.”
 Describ
e
Paraphr
ase

Be Silent
Disclos
e

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs

 Be silent and wait for a response

 Nonassertive people find this step hard

 Make sure your facial expression does not

contradict your verbal message
 Descri
be
Parap
hrase

Paraphrase
Disclo
se

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs

 After the person responds appropriately

paraphrase both the content and felling of
the message

 Example:
– Paraphrase Content: “So you were not aware
the report was late.”
– Paraphrase feelings: “Perhaps you feel
embarrassed.”
 Cycle

 If the other person is unresponsive or

aggressive, cycle through the steps again
Descri
be
Parap
hrase

Disclo
se

Be
Silent

Identify
Needs
 How to become assertive

 Visualizing can help

 Think of a past situation in which you wished you had

been more assertive and then mentally replay the
situation, imagining what you might have said
 Video

 Movies\how-to-be-assertive.flv
Thank You