Positive Guidance

and
Discipline
 “OK, here are your options:
jump and discover the joy
of flight, or don’t jump and I
kick your butt out of the tree.

 Scaring and threatening

is NOT discipline.

 Discipline is teaching, training,

and guiding.

 The goal is to train a child who can

have self-control, self-discipline,
and self-guided
even when you are not around.
Positive Guidance
Suggestions: 6. Consistency is
the key to
guidance. It
3. Discipline should be helps children
relevant to the misbehavior feel secure.
2. Attention is a powerful
5. Children may rebel reinforcer to guide
when parents punish children: they often
rather than discipline misbehave for attention
7. Respond to aggressive behavior in
non-aggressive ways 4. Positive Modeling:
is a very effective
1. Children feel safe and secure way to teach children
when they have Limits. These desired behavior
help a child gain self-control
Positive Guidance
Suggestions: 11. Give reasons along with
rules to help them learn why.

9. Follow through with your

requests. Do not make
threats. 8. Use routines to help
children know what to expect
10. Focus on their and how to manage their
good behavior. behavior.

12. Treat children as 13. The purpose of discipline is to

responsible adults. Children learn self-control NOT
become what you believe they obedience. This is the ultimate
are goal of positive guidance.
14. Make sure the message of LOVE always
gets through:

warmth humor
Types of Guidance
Techniques

Marble tunnel
 1. NATURAL AND LOGICAL
CONSEQUENCES

Logical Consequences: Natural Consequences:

 should be relevant to the  occur without interference, child
misbehavior can see the result of their choices
 Imposed by the caregiver to  Cannot be used if the
make the punishment fit the consequence will cause harm to
crime. self, others or property, or too
far in the future.
 Short in duration, not imposed
in anger, provide opportunities
Example: If Billy leaves his bike
for children to learn from their
out, it will get stolen.
behavior
Example: If Sally spills the
paint, she must clean up the
mess that is made
2. Reverse Attention
 Ignoring the negative,
reinforcing the positive

 When a child’s behavior is

inappropriate, focus on a child
who is displaying the
appropriate behavior and
make a positive comment

 If the first child changes his

behavior, he should be
immediately reinforced with a
positive statement.
3. Redirection
 Children can be easily
distracted. Get him to focus on
something else.

 Substitute acceptable activities

for unacceptable ones.

Example:
If he is angry at the block area,
lead him to a different area of the
room and introduce a different
activity
 4. Positive •Let’s practice…….

Statements
 Clearly states what is
expected, then help them get
started
 When guiding children, phrase all
requests in a positive manner
 When giving directions
talk to children on their eye level
Example:
say, “Let’s walk to the blocks,”
rather than, “Don’t run to the
blocks”
 DON’T – PLEASE DO
NEGATIVE STATEMENT POSITIVE
STATEMENT

 Don’t sit on the counter  Please sit on the chair

 Don’t you ever clean your room  Please keep your room clean.
 Don’t hit your brother  ________________
 Don’t run  ________________
 Don’t go in the road  ________________
 Don’t yell at me  ________________
 Don’t put your dish in the sink  ________________
  Do not give him an
5. Limited unlimited choice unless he
can really have what is
Choices chosen.

 Give “Either – Or” and

“When-Then” choices
 Only give choices that are
available.

Example: “Do you want juice

or water for a drink?” rather
than, ‘What would you like to
drink?”
  Use a place where there
are no distractions or
positive reinforcers
6. Time Out
 When a child has
disobeyed a rule, she will be
sent to a predetermined
place to distance herself
from the problem and gain
composure.

 The time spent in time out

relates to the child’s age.
 Should be a last
option, limited use.
7. BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL

Remember that children imitate you.

 Don’t expect them to be different than what you are. If swearing is not
OK for them to do, then you shouldn’t swear.
 Be polite and courteous and treat them with respect.
 Treat them as responsible people.
 Read graffiti

8. Children become
what they are told they
are.
 TYPES OF
PARENTING
1. AUTHORITARIAN:
LIMITS WITHOUT FREEDOM.

 Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.

 Misconduct is punished
 Affection and praise are rarely give
 Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes
 They value unquestioned obedience
 Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to
do it, and when to do it.
OUTCOMES OF AUTHORITARIAN
STYLE

 Obedient
 Distrustful  Children from authoritarian
 Discontent homes are so strictly controlled,
either by punishment or guilt,
 Withdrawn
that they are often prevented
 Unhappy from making a choice about a
 Hostile particular behavior because they
are overly concerned about what
 Not High Achievers
their parents will do or say.
 Often Rebel
2. PERMISSIVE: FREEDOM WITHOUT
LIMITS.

 Parents allow their children to do their own thing.

 Little respect for order and routine.
 Parents make few demands on children.
 Impatience is hidden.
 Discipline is lax
 Parents are resources rather than standard makers
 Rarely punish
 Non controlling, non-demanding
 Usually warm
 Children walk all over the parents
 OUTCOME OF PERMISSIVE
PARENTING

 Aggressive  Children from

 Least self-reliant permissive homes
receive so little guidance
 Least self-control that they often become
 Least exploratory uncertain and anxious
about whether they are
 Most unhappy doing the right thing.
3. DEMOCRATIC: FREEDOM WITHIN
LIMITS.

 Parents set limits and enforce the rules

 Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all
 Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.
 Provides both love and limits
 Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their
own decisions
 Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.
 Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.
 Loving, consistent, demanding
 Combine control with encouragement
 Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.
 OUTCOMES OF DEMOCRATIC
STYLE

 Happy  Children whose parents expect

 Most self-reliant them to perform well, to fulfill
commitments, and to participate
 Most self-control
actively in family duties, as well
 Content, friendly, generous as family fun, learn how to
 Cooperative formulate goals. They also
 High-achiever’ experience the satisfaction that
comes from meeting
 Less likely to be seriously
disruptive or delinquent
responsibilities and achieving
success
 The way our family
functions at home and the KEY TAKEAWAY
values that we hold would
have an impact on our
child’s behavior and
eventually, how he relates to It all begins
the world. It is only right for
us parents to start parenting at Home…
by setting the right values at
home, to be involved and
responsive to our children, so
that they can learn the
values from us.
THANK YOU