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LESSON 3 - Interpersonal Relationship Skills

This document discusses interpersonal relationship skills and communication. It covers key topics like forms of interpersonal relationships, the importance of communication, transactional analysis, active listening skills, and barriers to interpersonal relationships. The document emphasizes that communication is essential for any relationship and that developing empathy, assertiveness, and listening skills can help strengthen interpersonal connections. It also introduces models like the Johari window model and different ego states in transactional analysis.

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Lucena City for Leni
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54 views49 pages

LESSON 3 - Interpersonal Relationship Skills

This document discusses interpersonal relationship skills and communication. It covers key topics like forms of interpersonal relationships, the importance of communication, transactional analysis, active listening skills, and barriers to interpersonal relationships. The document emphasizes that communication is essential for any relationship and that developing empathy, assertiveness, and listening skills can help strengthen interpersonal connections. It also introduces models like the Johari window model and different ego states in transactional analysis.

Uploaded by

Lucena City for Leni
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Interpersonal

Relationship Skills
A CLASSROOM DISCUSSION
Your viewpoint

 When someone forgets your name, how does it


make you feel? Are you affected or offended in
any way?
 If you see someone whom you met before, but
forget the person’s name, do you think it’s better
to ask for the name again or not admit that
you’ve forgotten?
Your viewpoint


 Ifyou’re being treated badly in a relationship
and you don’t express your dissatisfaction to
the other person, would you say you’re equally
responsible for the mistreatment?
Interpersonal relationship

 Reciprocal social and emotional


interaction between two or more
individuals in an environment
 Close association between
individuals who share common
interests and goal
Forms of IPR

 Friendship
 Family and kinship
 Professional relationship
 Love
 Marriage
 Platonic relationship
 Casual relationship
 Brotherhood and sisterhood
 Acquaintances
IPR for an individual

 Personal growth and development


 Growth and enjoyment
 Sense of security
 Context of understanding
 Interpersonal needs
 Establishing personal identity
Communication is the KEY

 Communication is the lifeline of any


relationship. Without it, the relationship will
starve to its death.
 Elizabeth Bourgeret
 Youcan change your world by changing your
words... Remember, death and life are in the
power of the tongue.
- Joel Osteen
Communication is the KEY

 Half the world is composed of people who have


something to say and can't, and the other half who
have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
 Robert Frost

 To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half


the art of diplomacy.
- Will Durant
How does communication fail?

 Thesingle biggest problem in


communication is the illusion that it has
taken place.
- George Bernard Shaw
Let’s share

 Think of any moment, incident in your professional


/personal life where you think that interpersonal
communication seriously broken down (intentionally or
unintentionally) and you had an important lesson for
your life.
 Share briefly in the plenary
Interpersonal Relationship
Empathy
 the ability to stand in another’s shoes, to
feel what it’s like there and to care about
making it better if it hurts.
 a hypothesis we make about another
person based on a combination of
visceral, emotional, and cognitive
information...an attempt to experience
the inner life of another while retaining
objectivity.
Six habits of empathic people

 Cultivate curiosity about strangers


 Challenge prejudices and explore commonalities
 Try another person’s life
 Listen hard and open up
 Inspire mass action and social change
 Develop an ambitious imagination
- Kriznaric(2012)
Assertiveness
 Enables an individual to act in his
or her best interests without
denying or infringing upon the
rights of others
 Allows people to speak their minds
without hurting or threatening
others
 Allows people to express anger or
disappointment without acting
aggressively
Assertive communicators…

 are open about their feelings


 are not anxious; deal with stressful situations calmly
 arecontentious; stand up and argue for their rights
even if this might entail a certain disagreement or
conflict
 arenot intimidated and are not easily persuaded by
others
Developing assertiveness

 Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own


behavior
 Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and
positive manner
 Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be
satisfied
 Value yourself and your rights
 Receive criticism and compliments positively
 Learn to say "No" when you need to- the key to assertiveness 
1 Minute Exercise

 List as much people as you can who you would


like most
 List
as much people as you can who you dislike
most
Transactional Analysis

 A transaction is any interaction or


communication between two people
 How people say something is just as
important as what is said
 People send and receive messages out of
and into their different ego states
Our Ego States

 We have three ego states or personality


aspects

Parent Adult Child


The Parent

 Life as it is taught
 Unconsciously acting
in similar ways to our
parents
 Nurturing: permission, security,
guidance
 Critical: controlling
The Parent

 A frown or stern look.


 Pointing of the index finger.
 Arms folded as to say “what are you doing?”
 Uses phrases like; “you should,” “you ought to,” “that
is right!”
 Words such as; sympathizing, punishing. moralizing,
judging, giving orders, criticizing.
The Adult

 Life as it is thought
 Living in the present
and responding to
situations through
rational thought.
The Adult

 Straight forward facial expression.


 Activelistener, eyes blink every 3 to 5 seconds
showing attention.
 Speaks of probabilities.
 Uses phrases like; “In my opinion,” “Based on
what I have observed,” “So far the facts seem to
indicate.”
The Child

 Life as it is felt
 Unconsciously reverting to
childhood behaviours
Primitive
Impulsive
Demanding
Creative
The Child

 Smiling, laughing, having fun.


 Soft tone of voice.
 Crying, having tantrums, getting into trouble.
 Childlike facial expressions.
 Uses words/phrases like; “Wow!,” “hurray!,” “I
wish,” “I feel.”
Complementary Transactions

Question: ‘What time is it?’

Answer: ‘Three o’clock.’


Crossed Transactions

Question: ‘What time is it?’

Answer: ‘Forget about what time it is, get that report finished.’
Ulterior Transactions

Question: ‘What time is it?’

Answer: ‘What time do you think it is?’

Question: ‘Hundred o’clock?’

Answer: ‘Exactly!’
Positive response
 Praise
 Positive feedback
 Compliments
 Expressions of appreciation
 Good reports
Negative response
 Non-constructive criticism
 Negative judgements
 Insults
 Expressions of disapproval
 Bad reports
Life Positions
 I’m not OK, you’re not OK

‘This is terrible, we’ll never succeed’


Life Positions
 I’m not OK, you’re OK

‘I wish I could do it as well as you do’


Life Positions
 I’m OK, you’re not OK

‘You’re not doing it right, let me show you’


Life Positions
 I’m OK, you’re OK

‘We’re making good progress here’


The Power of
 
Listening
                       
Worth of listening

 It is not the voice that commands the story; it is the ear.


- Italo Calvino

 The most important thing in communication is hearing what


isn't said.
- Peter Drucker
Thought of the hour

The biggest
communication problem
is we do not listen to
understand.
We listen to reply.
% time in communication modes
Mode of Formal years Percentage of
communication of training time used

Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few 45%


hours
Active Listening Requires…

 Definite Intent to Listen


 Focus on the Speaker
 Verbal and Non-Verbal Encouragers
 Feedback Loop to Insure Accuracy
Active Listening (3 Steps)

1. Listen

2. Question

3. Reflect-Paraphrase
Step 1: Listen

 To feelings as well as words


 Words – emotions - implications
 Focus on speaker
 Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
 What is speaker talking about?
 Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
 Look at speaker
 Use verbal & non-verbal encouragers
Step 2: Question

 3 Purposes
 Demonstrates you are listening
 Gather information
 Clarification
 Open-ended
 Tell me more?
 How did you feel?
 Then what happened?
Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase

 Reflect what is said (in your words)


 Reflect feelings
 Reframe
 Capture the essence of the communication
 Remove negative framing
 Move toward problem solving
THE JOHARI WINDOW MODEL

Known to All Known to


Self Only

Known to Hidden
Others
only

Joseph Luft, Harry Ingham(1955), A graphic model for Interpersonal


Relationship- University of California, Western Lab.
Known to

Known to all Self only

Hidden

Known to Others only


SHARING PROCESS
FEEDBACK PROCESS

Known to all Known to


Self only

Known to Others only Hidden


Barriers to IPR

Socio cultural

Situational personal
Sustainable Relationship

 Compatibility
 Caring
 Commitment
 Compromise
 Constructive disagreement
END OF DISCUSSION

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