Editing and Revising

Recap
• Writing as a Process
• Pre-writing Techniques
• Organizing: Outline
• Writing the first draft
 Agenda
1. Characteristics of a Well-organized paragraph
2. Editing and Revising
 Characteristics of a Well-Organized
Paragraph
• Unity
• Coherence
• Cohesion
 1. UNITY
• Working with one idea only.
• The given details:
• are relevant
• support the topic sentence
• Irrelevant details should not be included.
 2. COHERENCE
• Movement from one sentence to the other must be ‘logical’ and ‘smooth.’
• Use of transitional words and phrases.
 3. COHESION
• Sentences are connected firmly. The entire paragraph is interconnected.
• 4 Ways to achieve cohesion:
A. Repetition of Key Nouns
B. Consistency in Verbs
C. Consistency in Pronouns
D. Parallelism
 A. Repetition of Key Nouns
• Easiest way to achieve cohesion.
• Used to keep the focus on the main idea.
• However, too much repetition may cause monotony- use pronouns instead
where appropriate.
 Repetition of Key Noun
Modern technology has brought great changes in the life of humans, by providing many benefits in
different fields. Firstly, modern technology has brought revolution in education system. For example,
internet is a vast source of knowledge for all, besides that, teachers now deliver lectures easily with the
help of projectors and digital boards in the classrooms. Moreover, with the help of modern technology,
students are now able to acquire knowledge at home through the means of online education facilities.
Secondly, modern technology has performed a vital role in the field of business. It is now possible to
make more products with good quality raw materials with the help of state-of-the-art machines.
Furthermore, with the advent of modern technology in business, we can now buy and sell various
products and services online from the ease of our homes. Also, agricultural advancements are evident due
to advance and efficient machines used in the fields. Finally, modern technology provides a reliable and
fast-paced transport such as via national and international flights that have reduced the travel time
significantly. Moreover, bullet-speed trains and metro trains have provided great comfort to the public in
various countries as millions of people travel by these trains every day to and from their work places. In
addition, luxury buses with comfortable seats and air-condition make the travel by road easy and
preferable for people of all ages. To sum up, modern technology helps to lead an easy and comfortable
life through its benefits in the fields of education, business, and transport.
Paragraph by Saeed Ali, BS-I Math, Fall 2023
 B. Consistency in Verbs
• When a writer keeps verbs in the same tense in their writing, that is
called verb tense consistency.
• Verb tense consistency helps the reader understand when actions are
occurring in a story and stay focused on the main points in a paragraph.
• When writers do not maintain verb tense consistency, their readers get
confused about when actions are happening, become distracted by
changes in tense, and lose focus on the main points in the paragraph.
 Consider this example of verb tenses
within one sentence:
• Inconsistent verb tense: My sister stayed at home while I walk to school.
• The writer has used inconsistent verb tense because 'stayed' is in the simple past tense,
but 'walk' is in the simple present tense. 'While' signals that these actions occur at the
same time.
• There are two ways to make the verb tense consistent. The solution depends on when the
two actions happened.
• If both actions happened in the past, both verbs should be in the simple past tense:
Corrected: My sister stayed at home as I walked to school.
• If both actions happen in the present, both verbs should be in the simple present tense:
Corrected: My sister stays in bed as I walk to school.
When writing a paragraph, choose one main tense and use it
consistently in that paragraph unless one action truly occurs
in a different time frame than the other actions being
described.
Which main tense is the correct one to use? Follow these guidelines:
Focus of the Paragraph Tense to Use Consistently
Events that occurred in the past
Past tense
Completed research studies
Something that is still occurring
Habitual actions
Facts Present tense
The writer's own ideas
Events in a book or movie
Events that may occur in the future Future tense
 C. Consistency in Pronouns
• When using pronouns instead of key nouns, make sure to use the same
person and number throughout the paragraph.
• Do not change from ‘you’ to ‘he’ or ‘she’, or from ‘he’ to ‘they.’
• Do not change the number from ‘one’ to ‘many’ or ‘hundred’ to ‘ten.’
• Examples:
• Asif complained that he was exhausted.
• Fawad left the party early, so I did not see him until Monday at work.
• Anjbeen and Surhan have been best friends ever since they were in school.
• If a student wants to return a book to the bookstore, he or she must have a receipt.
 Indefinite Pronouns and Agreement
• Indefinite pronouns do not refer to a specific person or thing and are
usually singular.
• A pronoun that refers to an indefinite singular pronoun should also be
singular.
• The following are some common indefinite pronouns.
 Collective Nouns
and Agreement
• Collective nouns suggest
more than one person but
are usually considered
singular. Look over the
following examples of
collective nouns.
Complete the following sentences by using the correct pronoun.
1. In the current economy, nobody wants to waste ________ money on frivolous
things.
2. If anybody chooses to go to medical school, ________ must be prepared to
work long hours.
3. The plumbing crew did ________ best to repair the broken pipes before the
next ice storm.
4. If someone is rude to you, try giving ________ a smile in return.
5. My family has ________ faults, but I still love them no matter what.
6. The school of education plans to train ________ students to be literacy tutors.
7. The commencement speaker said that each student has a responsibility toward
________.
8. My mother’s singing group has ________ rehearsals on Thursday evenings.
9. No one should suffer ________ pains alone.
10. I thought the flock of birds lost ________ way in the storm.
 D. Parallelism
• Parallelism refers to the use of identical grammatical
structures for related words, phrases, or clauses in a sentence or a
paragraph.
• To achieve parallelism, you must use the same verb, noun, adverb, or
adjective forms consistently throughout a sentence.
• Paul likes dancing, swimming, and running. (Parallel)
• Paul likes to dance, swimming, and run. (Not parallel)
 Some Examples
• Not parallel: The business accepts cash, credit cards, and you can even pay with a
check.
Parallel: The business accepts cash, credit cards, and checks.
• Not parallel: She aspires to finish college, and becoming an accountant would be
another goal.
Parallel: She aspires to finish college and become an accountant.
• Not parallel: Lily likes eating M&Ms and to binge-watch series on Netflix.
Parallel: Lily likes eating M&Ms and binge-watching series on Netflix.
Parallel: Lily likes to eat M&Ms and to binge-watch series on Netflix.
 Parallelism in Series of items:
Parallel structure should be used for items in a series, and be sure that three
or more items are separated by commas. The series can consist of words,
phrases, or clauses.
• Every Tuesday Sheila has chemistry, anatomy, and sociology. (three
words)
• Inadequate drainage, heavy rains, and leaky plumbing can all contribute to
a weak foundation. (three phrases)
• Some projects students will complete throughout the semester include
interviewing an elder, designing an exercise routine, and leading a group
activity in the nursing home. (three clauses)
Revising and Editing
 Revision
• Once your draft is ready, you must revise it carefully.
• Make changes to improve the quality and relevance of the paragraph.
• 4 Bases of Revision:
• Unity – One idea
• Support – Relevant and Adequate Details
• Coherence – Logical Flow of ideas
• Language Skills – Grammar, Punctuation, Spellings, consistency of
verbs and pronouns.
 Editing
means checking that your writing…

1. Makes sense
2. Addresses the topic
3. Is organized well
4. Is grammatically correct
5. Has correct spellings, vocabulary, and punctuation
6. Does not use clichés (commonly over-used phrases)
7. Meets other requirements of the paragraph such as word length
8. Coveys the idea/ideas concisely and effectively
Conveying Ideas Concisely and Effectively
 Task
• Revise and Edit any one of your first drafts…