Building

Self Esteem,
Self Confidence
&
Self Efficacy

LECTURE - 7
Let us imagine a pot that is like the cup, only larger. Every one of us has one such invisible pot
inside us. The level of water in the pot
determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people.
This pot can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing
you as a worthy being, our pot is filled a little.
If they compliment your dress or on a job well done, the level in your pot goes up still higher.
There are a million ways to raise the level in other pots. - Writing a friendly letter,
remembering something that is special to them, and giving them a hand when their work is
heavy, are a few ways.
When one’s pot is full of this emotional support, one expresses warmth and friendliness to
people. Did you ever experience a series of very
favorable things that made you feel worthwhile, and want to be good to people? At that time,
your pot was filled.
But, remember; some people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your pot and
empty it. This, too. can be done in a million ways.
For instance, when a child's feelings are trampled upon (I don’t care about what you
think/want ), thoughts are belittled (What a lousy idea! and abilities criticized (you can
never do anything properly the pot gradually gets empty. Pots are emptied many times
because people don’t really think about what they are saying or doing.

When a person’s pot is emptied, he is very different than when it is filled. If you compliment
a person whose pot is empty, instead of accepting it gracefully, he is likely to reject it or
reply in a defensive manner: The story of our lives is the interplay of the filler and the
dipper.
Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the filler and the dipper is that when you fill
another pot, it does not take anything out of your own pot. The level in your own pot gets
higher when you fill another's and, on the other hand, when you dip into another’s pot, you
do not fill your own you lose a little.
 What is Self Esteem?
Self esteem is a state of mind. It is the capacity to
respect and think well of yourself.
— Self-esteem doesn’t mean you think you are better or more important than
other people are, it means that you respect and value yourself as much as
other people.
— Self-esteem needs to come from within and not be dependent on external
sources such as material possessions, your status, or approval from others.
— Having self-esteem also means you don’t have to put other people down to
feel good about yourself.
— SE varies from person to person.
Self Esteem Inventory
Complete the following inventory, noting the areas in which your self esteem is
strong and those that need strengthening.

Words or Phrases that describe you in the following life areas:

Education _____________________________________________________
Work _________________________________________________________
Friends _______________________________________________________
Family ________________________________________________________
Physical Self ____________________________________________________
Emotional Self __________________________________________________
Strengths/Talents _______________________________________________
Spiritual Self ____________________________________________________
Personality ____________________________________________________
 Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Nobody is born with low self-esteem; it’s something that is learned.
Some possible early causes of low self-esteem: -
⁞ Overly critical parents (never good enough, feelings of inferiority or self criticism)
⁞ Significant childhood losses (abandonment, insecurity)
⁞ Parental abuse, neglect, or rejection (unreliable family atmosphere resulting in
lack of trust, insecurity, inadequacy or worthlessness, anger, guilt, denying feelings)
⁞ Parental overprotectiveness (lack of confidence)
⁞ Parental overindulgence (feelings of being cheated and insecure because life does not
continue to provide what they learned to expect as a child)

Some possible later contributors to low self-esteem: -

⁞ Negative or controlling personal relationships
⁞ Negative experiences on the job
⁞ Messages from society such as social media or discrimination
 Common Causes of Low Self-Esteem
in Teens
• Insincere friends or negative peer pressure to do things that are
not in their interests.
• Poor performance at school or high pressure to get good grades.
• Social media e.g. unrealistic body image portrayal.
• Mental health problems may cause your teen to feel they are less
equipped to cope with daily life or new situations than their peers.
• Body image issues or worries about appearance.
• Unsupportive or critical family members, persistent hurtful comments.
• Chronic stress e.g. from bullying, family conflict or family financial
worries.
• Low physical activity levels (exercise releases endorphins and feel-
good chemicals such as serotonin which make us feel good about
ourselves).
Types of Self Esteem
Situational self esteem problems usually only exist in
certain situations (public speaking, establishing
relationships, at work).
— For example, someone might see themselves as a good
friend but expect to fail in work situations.

Characterlogical self esteem problems are more global

(across all situations) and probably began early in life.
This a problem of negative self identity and negative
thoughts about oneself that can be difficult to let go of,
especially if they have been held for a long time.
Activity - Personal Self Esteem Evaluation
The following exercise allows you to evaluate your self esteem using this scale:
5 = Always 4 = Most of the time 3 = Sometimes 2 = Rarely 1 = Never
____ 1. I feel successful in my present work/school activities.
____ 2. I feel satisfied with my present work/school path.
____ 3. I consider myself to be a risk taker.
____ 4. I feel that continuing my education is important.
____ 5. I consciously look for the good in others.
____ 6. I can do most everything I put my mind to.
____ 7. I am comfortable in new social situations.
____ 8. I appreciate compliments from others.
____ 9. I feel comfortable speaking in front of others.
____10. I enjoy telling others of my success.
____11. I am an optimistic person.
____12. I am goal-oriented.
____13. I am comfortable making decisions.
Activity - Personal Self Esteem Evaluation
____14. I am in good physical condition.
____15. I am respected by others for who I am.
___ 16. I project a positive self-image.
____17. I am an active listener.
____18. I like being responsible for projects.
____19. I enjoy controversial discussions.
____20. I find obstacles challenging.
____21. I am able to ask for help without feeling guilty.
____22. I can laugh at my own mistakes.
____23. I am responsible for my thoughts and actions.
____24. I am direct when I voice my feelings.
Activity - Personal Self Esteem Evaluation
____25. I am leading a balanced life.
____26. I am an enthusiastic person.
____27. I use eye contact when talking to others.
____28. I genuinely like myself for who I am.
____29. I take criticism well and learn from it.
____30. I exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet.

Add up your points and put the total here: _________________

You score indicates:
120 - 150 = Very high self esteem 90 - 119 = Moderately high self esteem
60 - 89 = Average self esteem 31 - 59 = Moderately low self esteem
0 - 30 = Low self esteem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj3Y8DCJwXQ
What is Self Confidence?
Two main things contribute to self-confidence:
- self-efficacy and self-esteem.
— We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others
similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter
in those skill areas.
— This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a
particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that
leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of
setbacks.
— This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general
sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that
we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that
the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be
able to control.
Levels of Self-Confidence
1. Optimal confidence
This involves being so convinced that you will achieve your
goals that you strive hard to do so.

2. Lack of confidence
Self-doubts create anxiety, break concentration, and cause
uncertainty.

3. Overconfidence (false confidence)

Confidence out of proportion to actual ability causes you to
prepare less than you need to in order to perform.
Impacts on Everyday Life
• Reduced performance at work
• Not reaching full potential because of the negative value they place on themselves
• Avoiding challenges for a fear of failure
• Believing that any achievements were down to luck, rather than a result of their
own abilities or positive qualities
• Altered relationships with friends, family or colleagues. For example: becoming
overly upset or distressed by any criticism or disapproval, trying to please others,
being extremely shy or self-conscious or even avoiding social contact
• Change in appearance. Some people may lack the motivation for personal care
whilst others may try to hide their perceived inadequacies by paying significant
attention to the way they look, and avoid contact with others unless they look
perfect.
• Altered food and or drugs intake. Some people may diet whilst others may comfort
eat or reach for convenience foods. Some people may use drugs to increase their
confidence, which in turn has an adverse affect on their self-esteem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wryYea1GMAY
 “Commercial of Me”
On a piece of paper, work out what you would say if you had to
create a commercial to “market yourself”.

What would you say about yourself? How can you emphasize
the positive characteristics and capabilities you have?

• Make up the text for a radio ad.

• The slogan for a billboard.
• Instagram Post
Self Efficacy
Self Efficacy
1. Mastery Experiences
The first and foremost source of self-efficacy is through mastery experiences.
However nothing is more powerful than having a direct experience of mastery to
increase self-efficacy. Having a success, for example in mastering a task or
controlling an environment, will build self- belief in that area whereas a failure
will undermine that efficacy belief. To have a resilient sense of self-efficacy
requires experience in overcoming obstacles through effort and perseverance.

2. Social Modeling
The second source of self-efficacy comes from our observation of people around
us, especially people we consider as role models. Seeing people similar to our-
selves succeed by their sustained effort raises our beliefs that we too possess the
capabilities to master the activities needed for success in that area.
Self Efficacy

3. Social Persuasion
Influential people in our lives such as parents, teachers, managers or coaches can strengthen
our beliefs that we have what it takes to succeed. Being persuaded that we possess the
capabilities to master certain activities means that we are more likely to put in the effort and
sustain it when problems arise.

4. Emotional & Physiological States

The state you’re in will influence how you judge your self-efficacy. Depression, for example, can
dampen confidence in our capabilities. Stress reactions or tension are interpreted as signs of
vulnerability to poor performance whereas positive emotions can boost our confidence in our
skills.
Steps to Building High Self-esteem & Self
Confidence
Step 1 - Communicate with your Inner Child – the little boy/girl inside you who
feels your deepest emotional needs for trust, love, affection, and security. Let this
inner child express themselves instead of suppressing/scolding yourself.

Step 2 - Schedule Self-care Activities

Step 3 – Write a Support Letter to Yourself

Anger / Hurt / Fear / Regret / Intention / Love

Step 4 – Surround yourself daily with positive, supportive, and encouraging

people.
Steps to Building High Self-esteem & Self
Confidence
Step 5 – Read, listen, and watch personal growth material.

Step 6 – Practice getting approval from yourself instead of from others.

Step 7 – Become skilled or knowledgeable in at least one subject area or thin

that you enjoy such as music, sports, politics, social problems, nutrition, art, par-
enting, gardening, spirituality, history, culture, cooking, etc.

Step 8 – Reward your achievements

Step 9 - Quit comparing yourself to others

 Thank You!!

Any Questions?