Writing

Effective
Emails &
Long-form Messages
PGDM 2023-25

Richa Agarwal
5th August 2023
Learning Objectives
• Email
• Importance
• Elements
• Structure
• Purpose
• Groupwork
• Mini Case Analysis
• Routine Emails
• Emails Sharing Good News
 The jigsaw - called an
organization - remains
incomplete unless there
is communication
between individuals and
cohorts
 For Effective
Receiver’s Communication
Environment
• WIIIFM – Audience Buy-in
• Short • Give facts not vague
attention span impressions
• Distraction & • Present information in a
concise, efficient manner
Noise • Clarity in action agenda
• Write for optimizing impact
 Resembles
conversation
Casual
Best limited to
Categories Of close friends

Written
Messages Semi-formal Organized and
well-
Informal constructed

Formally
Formal Structured
Like a Report
In the Communication Mix
Emails are an important
format
Email Advantages / Disadvantages

- Quick - Not confidential

- Wide reach - Can be misunderstood
- Low on cost - Can be used to avoid
- Eliminates telephone tag difficult live conversations
- Speeds up decisions - May miss writer’s
emotional intent
- Written record
- Can get lost
- May be ignored
Purpose

Positive / Neutral Give/Seek

News Information

Bad News Persuade

Refusal Recommend
Email Structure
1. Header: To, Cc, Bcc
2. Subject: Short (5–7 words)
3. Salutation: formal, informal, or generic—depends on relationship with recipient
4. Name: Mr. Dr, Mrs. Ms.
5. Greeting
6. Message: to the point
7. Closing: informal or more
formal, in keeping with tone
8. Signature – no offending quotes
9. Attachment: include only what reader needs
 Riverview Plaza Commer…
------------------------------------------------
Please be advised that the Tow…

Is this mail important enough to demand immediate

attention?
The Message vis-à-vis the Subject Line
From: Henry Rodriguez
To: Riverview Plaza Tenants
Subject: Riverview Plaza Commercial Center - Town of Springfield - Building Closure
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please be advised that the Town of Springfield is asking that businesses stay closed if
possible due to the threat of a meteor strike in the area.

Please check your local news sources for updates. Please update your company’s
employees accordingly.
http://www.ourtown.ma.us/

Henry Rodriguez
Senior Property Manager
Riverview Plaza Commercial Center
Catch Attention!

Danger Alert: Meteor Strike

Riverview Plaza Commer…
------------------------------------------------ Imminent
Please be advised that the Tow…

Urgent Advisory: Closure

recommended
 How
to
Address When in doubt err
the on the side of
Recipients? caution
(Be conservative)
Greetings
• Greetings of/for the day • Do away with them
• Season’s Greetings Or
• Wish you a very Happy New Year • Use judiciously
• Happy Diwali wishes • Purpose
• Audience
• Happy Independence Day wishes
Opening Sentence
Consider where applicable
• I’m reaching out about…
• Purposeful
• Thanks for . . .
• Engaging
• Captivating introduction in Avoid
case of an exploratory mail • Can you do me a favour?
• I know you’re busy but…
• Let me introduce myself
Message
Content What | How much | What is the audience ask | Overall
length

Structure What comes first | How to open | What follows and so

on

Format Does the text need special formatting | Don’t over-format

From: Kayla Ross
To: Daniel Rhodes
Subject: Your deadline for MIRA report is noon next Wednesday (10/14)

Hello Daniel,
Our next deadline for MIRA is next Friday-please submit your updated
report by noon next Wednesday. Earlier would be better. Also, David is out
sick today, so I need you to present the deck he made about the REM study
(attached) at the 1 p.m. meeting with SleepWell. If you can’t, please find
another department head who can. I’ll expect you are taking care of this
unless I hear from you.

Thanks,
Kayla Ross
Director, R&D
Content No Data Dump Please!

One One central idea

mail +
A set of related ideas
Approach for Messaging
 Using the “You” Attitude

Instead of This Write This

You failed to deliver the The customer didn’t receive
customer’s order on time. the order on time.

You must correct all five Please send all five corrected
copies by noon. copies by noon.
 Active or Passive Voice?
In general, use active voice to make your writing lively and direct.

Dull and Indirect in Passive Voice Lively and Direct in Active Voice

The new procedure was The operations team developed

developed by the operations the new procedure.
team.
Legal problems are created by This contract creates legal
this contract. problems.
Reception preparations have Our PR people have begun
been undertaken by our PR planning a reception for the new
people for the new CEO’s arrival. CEO.
 Use Cases for Passive Voice

• When you want to be diplomatic

• When you don’t want to give credit or place
blame
• When you want to avoid personal pronouns
Closing Line
• Action requested
• Timeline/Deadline
• An offer
• Help
• Make use
• Acknowledgement that is expected
Signing off

• Best • Cheers
• Sincerely • Yours sincerely
• Regards • Thanks & regards
• Kind regards • Yours truly
• Thank you • Many thanks
• Warm wishes/regards • Respectfully
• With gratitude
 Email Etiquette Checklist
Is your message needed?
Is your message for routine or for sensitive material?
Is your message spam?
Is your recipient list correct?
 Has everyone necessary been copied? | Have any unnecessary recipients been removed?

Have you proofread carefully?

Does your signature avoid offensive quotes?
Have you added the attachments?
Email Offenses
• Using vague subject lines such as “meeting.”
• Hiding the main point.
• Using the “bcc” field to be sneaky in communication.
• Not deleting strings of replies unnecessary to the recipient.
• Ignoring grammar and mechanics.
• Forgetting to attach required documents.
Groupwork
Case Analysis
Group Task
• Read the case assigned to your group
• Part 1 Identify and note the issues/gaps in the given table formats

• Part 2 Rewrite the email keeping in mind

• The Elements of business writing including Purpose & Audience Analysis
• The Email Structure
• You may creatively add (but not delete) any critical information if deemed
necessary for your message
• Format of Submission Submit
both Part1 & Part 2. Your text should
conform to a format that it is easily readable on being projected.
• One group – One Mail Please write your group number in your file name
• Submit
• Time: 10 minutes
Case A Finance
From: Rhonda Murphy
To: Raj Patel
Subject: Finance
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Raj,
Jake finished the quarterly report and distributed it to the executive committee for review. Although sales are down
3% this quarter, projections were considerably higher. The good news is that we have managed to pay off 30% of our
debt, 12 months ahead of schedule. And just yesterday Liza, one of our top auditors, gave her notice and will be
taking a position with a new company at the end of the week. Obviously, her accounts have been distributed among
her team members, and we want to make a smooth transition for our clients. Please review the resumes you have
for senior auditors and set up some interviews. It is imperative that we find a replacement for Liza as soon as
possible.

As you know, we are in the process of acquiring NJT company. Although the recent audit did not uncover any fraud in
the company, it did find some accounting errors, as NJT showed a pattern of aggressive accounting. Therefore, as
they become part of our company, their auditors must take a more responsible and conservative accounting
approach. To ensure this result, John announced that Bill Edwards will accept the position of Director, Corporate
Finance. That means that we also need a new Director of Special Projects. Please begin that search too, both
internally and externally.

See me if you have any questions.

Rhonda
Case A - Analysis
Type: Internal email What are the main problems in
this email?
Purpose: To update a colleague 1. Subject Line - Uninformative
about the situation and assign 2. Action Requests - Buried in
action agenda text
3. Structure - Confused
Audience: Individual known to the
sender; interested 4. Paragraphs - Multiple points
5. Lacks in - Headlines and
formatting, decreasing
readability
6. Sign off
From: Rhonda Murphy
To: Raj Patel
Subject: Please begin process for 2 new hires in Finance
Hi Raj,
We need to start the process for two new hires in Finance. But first, some
good news!
Sales projections are up: Have you seen the quarterly report? It was just
released. Although sales are down 3% this quarter, projections were
considerably higher. We also have managed to pay off 30% of our debt, 12
months ahead of schedule!
Liza is leaving: Please begin search for her replacement. Liza has accepted a
position at another company and is leaving at the end of this week. Her
accounts will be distributed among other team members. We need to hire her
replacement as soon as possible. Let’s make this a smooth transition for our
clients.
2nd search: New Director of Special Projects Bill Edwards has been appointed
Director, Corporate Finance, leaving open his current position as Director of
Special Projects. The NJT acquisition has finally gone through, and Bill will be
helping to smooth the transition. Although the recent audit found no fraud in
NJT, it did identify some errors due to aggressive accounting methods. Bill will
assure that, as NJT becomes part of our company, their auditors will take a
more responsible and conservative accounting approach.
Action requested for the week of June 22
1. Review the resumes you have for senior auditors, and set up interviews to
replace Liza.
2. Begin the search, both internally and externally, for a new Director of
Special Projects.
Please see me if you have any questions.
Best,
Rhonda
Use of
Headlines
 Case B Skipton Airport
Dear Mr Robert Mitchell,

I am writing in reference to the current situation with the Skipton Airport Project. We are having a number of questions which we hope
you could answer.

First of all, could you please provide us with an update on where you are on the Skipton Airport Project. We would also appreciate it if you
could clarify what the current issues with the delivery system are, and confirm when you expect them to be resolved.

In addition, at the end of our last meeting we requested a copy of the latest project update report. Unfortunately, we have still not
received it. We would appreciate it if you could forward this to us.

Could you also please confirm whether the post-installation support covers the equipment 24 hours a day? And what is actually included in
the support? In particular, we would like to have confirmation if the cost of parts and labour are included in the package? We require this
information as soon as possible.

And lastly, we are considering extending the period of the post-installation support from your company from 6 months to 12 months. We
would be very grateful if you could provide us with a quote for this extension.

I would really appreciate it if you could deal with these matters urgently.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards
Yours sincerely,

Ian Rogers, Development Manager

Case B - Analysis 1. Subject Line - Missing
2. No structure for the
Type: External email information sought
• Confusing Paragraphs
Purpose: Asking a critical update • Two distinct requests – lost
from the service provider about • Status update | Quote

an important project and 3. Unnecessary words – “First of all”

possibility of some more work 4. No clear action timeline
5. Lacks in - Headlines and
Writer’s Tone: Not really in a
formatting, decreasing
happy state readability
Audience: Known to the sender;
Readers may be many
 Case B Skipton Airport Inquiry
Subject: Skipton Airport Project Update Requested by 13/08
Dear Mr Mitchell, (or Dear Robert,)
Please give us the following information on the Skipton Airport Project.
Project Specific
1. Update on current status and progress till date
2. Clarification on current issues with the delivery systems, and estimated date of resolving them
Post-Installation support
3. Complete details of what is included, specifically
a. Whether the support covers the equipment 24 hours a day
b. Whether the package includes costs of parts and labour
4. Quote for extension of period of Post-Installation support from 6 months to 12 months
Project Update Report Send us a copy of this report, please. It was requested at our last meeting, but
has not yet been received.
Please send all these by Thursday 13 August 2020, or earlier, as we need to discuss them at our weekly
senior management team meeting on Friday 14 August 2020.
Regards,
Ian Rogers
Development Manager
 Case C Riverdale Inquiry
Mr. Piper:
We saw the advertisement for 3,200 square feet of Riverdale
office space that you posted a couple of weeks ago on LoopNet.
As we are interested, we would like additional information.
Specifically, we would like to know the interior layout, annual
cost, availability of transportation, length of lease agreement,
escalation provisions, and any other information you think
pertinent.
If the information you give us is favorable, we will inspect the
property. Please send your reply as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Case C - Analysis
Type: External email 1. Not enough context for reader
to give right answers
Purpose: Routine, seeking
2. Too many questions but open-
information. Means business for
ended and unstructured
receiver
3. No clear action timeline
Audience: Not known to the 4. Lacks in - Headlines and
sender; Should be highly formatting
interested
 Case C Riverdale Inquiry (1)
Dear Mr. Piper:
The 3,200-square-foot Riverdale office suite advertised
May 24 on LoopNet may be suitable for the new regional
headquarters we are opening in November. Could you
please answer the following questions about the space?
• Is the layout of these offices suitable for a workforce
of two administrators, a receptionist, and seven office
employees? (If possible, please send us a diagram of
the space.)
• What are the dimensions of the office suites on the
first and second floors?
 Case C Riverdale Inquiry (2)
• Are housekeeping, maintenance, and utilities included?
• What type of flooring and walls does the office space have?
• Does the location provide easy access to mass transportation
and the airport?
• What is the length of the lease agreement?
• What escalation provisions are included in the lease
agreement?
We look forward to learning more about your property. Your
response by June 1 will help us secure a space that meets our
needs by June 30.
Sincerely,
Routine Request/ Positive
messages
Messages asking for information or action, asking for recommendations, and
making claims and requesting adjustments.

Give Necessary Close

Start
and Specific Action request
Main Idea/Request Details Goodwill
 Answering Requests for Information or Action
Three Main Goals

• Respond to the Inquiry and Answer All Questions

• Leave the Reader with a Good Impression
• Opportunity to build a relation
• Encourage the Future Sale
Asking for Recommendations

• Ask Permission

• Organize Your Request Using the Direct Approach

• State the Purpose of the Recommendation

• Remind the Reader How You Know Each Other

• Close with an Expression of Appreciation

 Providing Recommendations and References
• Candidate’s / Customer’s Full Name

• Objective Candidate/Customer is Seeking

• Nature of Relationship with Candidate/Customer

• Facts Relevant to Candidate/Customer and the Opportunity

• Comparison of Candidate/Customer to Peers

• Overall Evaluation of Candidate/Customer

Case D Protect-O Order
Dear Mr. Li,
Your April 4 order for $1,743.30 worth of Protect-O
paints and supplies has been received. We are pleased
to have this nice order and hope that it marks the
beginning of a long relationship.
As you instructed, we will bill you for this amount. We
are shipping the goods today by Blue Darter Motor
Freight.
We look forward to future orders.
Sincerely,
Case D - Analysis
Type: External email
1. Writer has completely missed
Purpose: Business, express the bus
thanks, delight the audience, build 2. Huge opportunity missed to
relation, ensure future sale build a relationship the reader
has already initiated.
Audience: Not known to the
sender; presumably open to the
message
Case D Protect-O Order (1)
Dear Mr. Li:
Your selection of Protect-O paints and supplies was
shipped today by Blue Darter Motor Freight and should
reach you by Wednesday. As you requested, we are
sending you an invoice for $1,743.30, including sales tax.
Welcome to the Protect-O circle of dealers. Our
representative, Ms. Cindy Wooley, will call from time to
time to offer whatever assistance she can. She is a highly
competent technical adviser on paint and painting.
 Case D Protect-O Order (2)
Use this opportunity to delight the customer & build
relationship
Here, at the home plant, we will also do our best to help you
profit from Protect-O products and to give you the most efficient
service. In addition, we’ll continue to develop the best possible
paints—such as our new Chem-Treat line. As you will see from the
enclosed brochure, Chem-Treat is a real breakthrough in mildew
protection.
We genuinely appreciate your order, Mr. Li. We are determined to
serve you well in the years ahead.
Sincerely,
Direct Order

• Begin with your objective.

• Cover the remaining part of the objective.
• End with goodwill.
Order Acknowledgments
 Begin with the good news.
 Include a thank-you message.
 Report problems with order (delays or more
info needed) directly.
 Emphasize the positive.
 Close with friendly words.
 Making Claims and Requesting Adjustments
• Explain the Problem and Give Details
• What is the Single Most Important Message I have for the Audience?
• Clear and Concise Opening
• Share Good News First
• Prepare Audience for Details that Follow

• Provide Backup Information

• Use the Body to Explain Your Point Completely
• Use the Indirect Approach
• Only Use Negative Information if it
• Will Elicit a Positive Response
• Provide Assurance to Customer

• Request Specific Action

• End with a courteous close
 Granting Claims and Requests for Adjustment

• Acknowledge Receipt of the Customer’s Claim or Complaint

• Sympathize with the Customer
• Take Personal Responsibility
• Explain How You Resolved the Situation
• Take Steps to Repair the Relationship
• Follow Up
Announcing Good News

External Messages
• News Releases
• Direct-to-Consumer Releases
Fostering Goodwill
• Sending Congratulations
• External
• Clients
• Network
• Internal
• Seniors
• Team
• Co-workers

• Sending Messages of Appreciation

• Offering Condolences
Thank-You Messages
• Begin with a direct statement of thanks:
Thank you for attending the Indian Cancer Society fundraiser lunch for Relay
for Life last week and for donating money to the cause.

• Follow with a relevant personalized comment:

With your support, the 2023 Relay for Life will be our most successful yet . . .
• Conclude with a forward-looking statement:
I hope you can join us for the running of the relay on June 12.
Your Email Projects Your Company’s
Image

• Communication Style
• Communication Guidelines

Image Source: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/in-the-name-of-development/csr-to-corporate-diplomacy/