Scribd
Upload
5 views

Effective Discipline

Uploaded by

pryatrestaurant
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
5 views

Effective Discipline

Uploaded by

pryatrestaurant
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 22

EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR

CHILDREN OF ALL AGES

William Sharp
Boston Graduate School of
Psychoanalysis
617 216 3871
@DrwilliamSharp

What will our hashtags be?

“#”
K-W-L CHART: CONNECTING WITH
Children

 Know  Want to know


GOALS
At the end, you should be able to:
1) Identify feelings behind your disciplinary
interventions
2) Explain the importance of “understanding”
what behavior is communicating when
intervening
3) Apply the use of “questions” in between the
infraction of a rule and consequence

This work is heavy on YOU!


 How do you feel about discipline? Name
some feelings invoked.
WHAT ARE YOUR VALUES?
 List them:
Honesty
Integrity
Family
Loyalty
Hope
Financial Stability
“I believe…” change happens slowly
Talk is cheap.
HOW DO YOU VALUES GET
REFLECTED IN DISCIPLINE?
 How do you see them in your rules?

 How do you want to be truer to your values?


SELF CARE:
CHILDREN WILL ADJUST WHEN YOU DO.
WHAT IS YOUR OWN HISTORY…
 How did you know when people were angry in
your family? What expectations did you
develop about how people manage angry
feelings?
 What happened when family members were

afraid?
 What was the most significant loss your

family experienced when you were a child?


How did people grieve?
 When did you feel loved in your family? What

functions were you valued for performing?


 Who did you hate the most in growing up?

What did you do with your hatred?


UNDERSTANDING
 All Behavior is an attempt to communicate
something.

 Give examples of behaviors requiring disciplinary


actions.

 What might those be conveying? List at least 3


for each.
WHAT ARE THEY UP TO?
 The child’s tendency to try and recreate their old
home in your home
 Repetitions
 Trying to get themselves rejected if that is the only thing
they have to control.
 Inductions
 Is this the normal reaction they get? Or are you being
different?
 Acting out behaviors
 Manipulation: playing providers off each other
 Splitting, including Social workers and foster/kinship
placements
THE LION WON’T EAT
ME- I AM A VEGETARIAN

Remember, the more regressed, the more


likely it comes down to fight or flight.
WE BELIEVE WE ARE
THINKING CREATURES
WHO FEEL, BUT WE ARE
FEELING CREATURES WHO
THINK.
GOALS OF ENGAGEMENT
 Join their perceptions to get a
better understanding of the
communication.
 Remember, you are in charge

and just because you are listening


to them doesn’t mean you agree
with them.
SOLUTIONS
Maintain boundaries
You can be friendly, but you cant be
their friend

TALK TALK TALK.. .use your thoughts


and feelings to show words have a
power without a side effect.
SOLUTIONS (CONT)
Question- How should I respond when
someone misses curfew?

Question: What am I supposed to do if


someone can’t follow rules?

Question:
EXPLORATION WITH THE CHILD
 Objectoriented questions
Avoid YOU, use I or talk to the
universe
Share your adult ego with those
who are thin skinned.
Ask what you are supposed to do
when…
Read up on Active Listening…
AVOID!
“YOU KIDS BETTER SHAPE
UP, I AM IN NO MOOD TO
FOOL AROUND TODAY.”
 “Oh, I better behave, she means business
today.”
 “Oh, what have I been doing wrong so far, am I

fooling around now? Maybe I had better stay


perfectly still.” (Freeze or Flight into
themselves)
 “Oh, she wants a fight… I can give her a fight.”
HOW DO I USE ANGER?
(*MINE AND THEIRS)

Meet them where they are.

Be the mature adult.

Never work harder than them!

Optimal Frustration is the key to change.

Consultation, Training, Supervision,


Therapy ????
WHY DO THIS WORK?
Only work that promotes
growth and ego
development in both patient
[or child] and therapist
[care giver] is worth what
[it] costs both to do.
- Margaret Little
K-W-L AND EVALUATION
 What have we LEARNED?
DR WILLIAM SHARP
617 216 3871
[email protected]
One Harvard St., Brookline MA 02445
@DrWilliamSharp for Talk Takeaways

ANNE MCCAULEY
617 566 2200
School Based Counseling
Boston Institute for Psychotherapy
[email protected]

You might also like