PERSONAL

DEVELOPMENT
Q4: PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Activity 1. STATEMENTS ON RELATIONSHIPS
Instruction: State whether these statements
are True or False.

 1.It is important to work on

communicating our feelings in
relationships.
 2.
To love someone, we must love our
self first.
 3.Trying to understand where other
people are coming from rather than
judging them helps us build and
maintain relationships.
 4.
Having a good relationship does not
contribute anything to us having good
health.
 5.
When people listen deeply and let us
know that they recognize the feeling
behind our words, more likely than not,
our relationship is doing good.
 6.
In our relationships, it is vital that we
practice forgiveness when a loved one
has hurt us.
 7.
Our loved ones cannot help us when we deal
with stress.
 8.
Using positive methods to resolve conflict will
more likely help us maintain good relationships.
 9.
Expressing gratitude to our friends and family
help us maintain good relationships.
 10.
Significant differences in core values and beliefs
never create a problem in relationships.
 11.We are happy in our relationships when our
loved ones stay connected by spending time with
us and letting us know that they love us.
12. Excessive reliance on social media can be
a cause of tension in relationships.
13. Relationships are static; they are
unchangeable.
14. Being compassionate, forgiving and
grateful contribute to healthy relationships.
15. To fully enjoy and benefit from
relationships we need skills, information,
inspiration, practice, and social support.
 Processing questions:
Instruction: Please answer the
questions on the space provided.
1. Why
are relationships important to us
humans?
2. Whatis the difference between family,
friends/friendship, and
partnership/romantic relationships?
WHAT DO WE MEAN BY PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS?
The concept of relationship is very broad and
complex. In our model, personal relationships
refer to close connections between people,
formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
These bonds often grow from and are
strengthened by mutual experiences.
Relationships are not static; they are
continually evolving, and to fully enjoy and
benefit from them we need skills, information,
inspiration, practice, and social support. In our
model there are three kinds of personal
 Family
 The concept of "family" is an essential
component in any discussion of relationships,
but this varies greatly from person to person.
 TheBureau of the Census defines family as
"two or more persons who are related by birth,
marriage, or adoption and who live together as
one household."
 Butmany people have family they don't live
with or to whom they are not bonded by love,
and the roles of family vary across cultures as
well as throughout your own lifetime.
Family
 Some typical characteristics of a family are
support, mutual trust, regular interactions, shared
beliefs and values, security, and a sense of
community.
 Although the concept of "family" is one of the
oldest in human nature, its definition has evolved
considerably in the past three decades. Non-
traditional family structures and roles can provide
as much comfort and support as traditional forms.
Friends
A friendship can be thought of as a close tie
between two people that is often built upon mutual
experiences, shared interests, proximity, and
emotional bonding.
 Friendsare able to turn to each other in times of
need. Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, social-
network researchers and authors of the book
Connected, find that the average person has about
six close ties—though some have more, and many
have only one or none.
 Notethat online friends don’t count toward close
ties— research indicates that a large online network
Partnerships

 Romantic partnerships, including marriage,

are close relationships formed between two
people that are built upon affection, trust,
intimacy, and romantic love. We usually
experience this kind of relationship with only
one person at a time.
BASIC DEFINITIONS
1. Relationship
- a relation between people - a state of
connectedness between people (especially an
emotional connection)
2. Personalrelationships - relationships between
people, especially those between friends, lovers and
family members
3. Love - strong affection for another arising out of
kinship or personalities - attraction based on sexual
desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers -
affection based on admiration, benevolence, or
common interests
4. Commitment - the act of binding yourself
(intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action
- a message that makes a pledge
5. Attraction - the act, power, or property of
attracting - attractive quality; magnetic charm;
fascination; allurement; enticement - a person or
thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices
6. Responsibility - the social force that binds you to
the courses of action demanded by that force - a
form of trustworthiness; the trait of being
answerable to someone for something or being
responsible for one’s conduct
A RESEARCH STUDY ON
RELATIONSHIPS
Reading: 25 MOST COMMON
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
 Here is a list of the most common relationship
problems most often encountered by couples:
1. Affairs/ infidelity / cheating. This includes
emotional infidelity, one-night stands, internet
relationships (including ‘sexting’), long- and
short-term affairs and financial infidelity
2. Sexual Issues, particularly loss of libido and
including questions around your gender, or your
partner's gender
3. Significant differences in core values and
beliefs
4. Life stages – you have ‘outgrown’ each
other or have ‘changed’ significantly for
whatever reason
5. Traumatic and/or Life-Changing Events
6. Responses to prolonged periods of Stress,
such as Work-Related Stress, longterm illness,
mental health issues, Financial Problems,
problems with the children, infertility and
many more
7. Bored in or with Your Relationship
8. Dealing with a jealous partner
10. Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as
physical abuse: THE most serious relationship problem.
11. Knowing you should not have got married in the first
place!
12. Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children,
health and many other issues
13. Unrealistic Expectations- still thinking your partner /
spouse is the princess / knight and not seeing the 'real'
human being
14. Addictions - substance abuse
15. Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of
the relationship
16. Lack of support during particularly difficult
times from people that matter to you
17. Manipulation or over-involvement in your
relationships with family or friends
18. Lack of communication about important matters
19. Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of
responsibility for chores and tasks. It is not always
women who complain about this relationship
problem!
20. Perceived lack of concern, care and
consideration / attentiveness: feeling the
relationship is one-sided is a big one!
21. Significant personal disappointments and
traumas that lead to a change in relationship
dynamics
22. Long term depression or other mental health
issues suffered by one partner or both
23. Significant differences in opinion on how to
discipline / deal with the children
24. Long-term stress, particularly when not taking
responsibility for doing something positive to
address the cause, or about learning to handle it if
it cannot be changed
25. An unsupportive partner during pregnancy and
/ or significant problems after the birth your baby.
Processing Questions
Instruction: Now that you have already knowledge about the
basic terms and definitions in a relationship, let us appreciate
our lesson by answering the following questions below.

Questions:
1. Do all relationships have issues?
2. How do you address a problem in a
relationship?
 PERSONAL
DEVELOPMENT
Q4: NURTURE YOUR
RELATIONSHIPS
Connect with your family
 One of the biggest challenges for
families to stay connected is the busy
pace of life. But Blue Zones research
states that the healthiest, longest-
living people in the world all have
something in common: they put their
families first.
 Familysupport can provide comfort,
support, and even influence better
health outcomes while you are sick.
 Relationships and family author Mimi
Doe recommends connecting with family
by letting little grievances go, spending
time together, and expressing love and
compassion to one another.

 This is especially important if you don’t

have living family, or have experienced
difficult circumstances, such as abuse,
that would make it difficult for you to
connect with your relatives.
Practice Gratitude
 Gratitudeis one of the most accessible positive
emotions, and its effects can strengthen friendships
and intimate relationships.
 One 2010 study found that expressing gratitude
toward a partner can strengthen the relationship,
and this positive boost is felt by both parties—the
one who expresses gratitude and the one who
receives it.
 Remembering to say “thank you” when a friend
listens or your spouse brings you a cup of coffee
can set off an upward spiral of trust, closeness, and
affection.
Learn to Forgive
 It’s
normal for disagreements or
betrayal to arise in relationships, but
your choice about how to handle the
hurt can have a powerful effect on the
healing process. Choosing to forgive
can bring about a variety of benefits,
both physical and emotional.
 Fred Luskin, head of the Stanford
Forgiveness Project, says it’s easier to let
go of the anger or hurt feelings
associated with a circumstance if you
remind yourself that much of your
distress is really coming from the
thoughts and feelings you are having
right now while remembering the event
—not the event itself. Don’t be afraid to
clearly articulate why you are upset, but
once the other party has listened, be
willing to lay down your anger and move
on.
Be Compassionate
 Compassion is the willingness to be open to
yourself and others, even in painful times, with a
gentle, nonjudgmental attitude. When you feel
compassionate toward another person whether a
romantic partner, friend, relative, or colleague—you
open the gates for better communication and a
stronger bond.
 Thisdoesn’t mean taking on the suffering of others,
or absorbing their emotions. Rather, compassion is
the practice of recognizing when someone else is
unhappy or whose needs aren’t being met and
feeling motivated to help them. We are an imitative
species: when compassion is shown to us, we
return it.
Accept others
It is also important to be accepting of the
other person in the relationship. Obviously,
this does not apply in situations of abuse
or unhealthy control, where you need
foremost to protect yourself. But
otherwise, try to understand where the
person is coming from rather than judge
them. As you do for yourself, have a
realistic acceptance of the other's
strengths and weaknesses and remember
that change occurs over time.
Create rituals Together
 With busy schedules and the presence of online
social media that offer the façade of real contact,
it’s very easy to drift from friends. In order to
nurture the closeness and support of friendships,
you have to make an effort to connect.
 Gallup researcher Tom Rath has found that people
who deliberately make time for gatherings or trips
enjoy stronger relationships and more positive
energy. An easy way to do this is to create a
standing ritual that you can share and that doesn’t
create more stress—talking on the telephone on
Fridays, for example, or sharing a walk during lunch
breaks, are ways to keep in contact with the ones
you care about the most
Spend the right amount of time
together
 Gallupresearchers Jim Harter and Raksha
Arora found that people who spend 67
hours per day socializing (which could
mean hanging out with friends, sharing
meals with family, or even emailing a
colleague) tend to be the happiest. In
contrast, those who have zero
interactions (or an exhausting overload
of social time) feel more stressed.
Reading: TEN RULES
FOR FINDING LOVE
AND CREATING
LONG-LASTING,
AUTHENTIC
RELATIONSHIPS
1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST Your
relationship with yourself is the central template
from which all others are formed. Loving yourself
is a prerequisite to creating a successful and
authentic union with another.
2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE The choice to be in a
relationship is up to you. You have the ability to
attract your beloved and cause the relationship
you desire to happen.
3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS Moving from “I”
to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy.
Being an authentic couple is an evolution.
4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE
OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW Your relationship
will serve as an unofficial “life shop” in which
you will learn about yourself and how you can
grow on your personal path.
5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL The open
exchange of thoughts and feelings is the
lifeblood of your relationship.
6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED There
will be times when you and your partner must
work through impasses. If you do this
consciously and with respect, you will learn to
7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED
BY CHANGE Life will present turns in the road. How
you maneuver those twists and turns determines the
success of your relationship.
8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR
IT TO THRIVE Treasure your beloved and your
relationship will flourish.
9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY Happily
ever after means the ability to keep the relationship
fresh and vital.
10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT
YOU FALL IN LOVE You know all these rules
inherently. The challenge is to remember them when
BASIC RIGHTS IN A
RELATIONSHIP
• The right to emotional support
• The right to be heard by the other and to
respond
• The right to have your own point of view,
even if this differs from your partner's
• The right to have your feelings and
experiences acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and
blame
• The right to live free from criticism and
judgment
• The right to live free from emotional and
physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outbursts
and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather
than ordered
 Patience: Patience is essential to a healthy
relationship. There are times when others
will respond to us in a way that is
disappointing. When this occurs, it
important to communicate our
disappointment, but also to give the other
person space. Be willing to give the person
some time to reflect, indicating that you are
ready to talk when they are ready. If the
person is never ready to discuss the
situation, you may need professional help
to resolve the issue, or ask yourself
whether or not you want to continue the
 Honesty: Honesty is another essential
quality in healthy relationships. To build
honesty in a relationship, you should
communicate your feelings openly, and
expect the other person to do the same.
Over time, this builds trust.
 Kindness:Kindness is extremely important
to maintaining healthy relationships. You
need to be considerate of others' feelings
and other people need to be considerate of
yours. Be kind when you communicate.
Kindness will nurture your relationships.
 Respect:Respect is a cornerstone of all
healthy relationships. If you don't have
respect for another person, it will have a
negative impact on all of your interactions.
Think of a time when you encountered
someone who didn't respect you. How did it
feel? What are some ways that you show
respect to others?
ACTIVITY
Instruction: On a piece
of ¼ illustration board,
sketch, draw, or design
a poster which shows
one’s basic rights in a
relationship.
Activity: I KNOW THE SIGNS OF A
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Instruction: Put a HEART before
each statement that you think is a
sign of a healthy relationship; put
an X on each statement that you
think is a sign of an unhealthy
relationship.
1. You
can express your opinion without fear
or dread.
2. You
and your partner can make decisions
together and fairly.
3. Each
person takes responsibility for their
own actions.
4. Your partner respects your feelings about
sex.
5. Your
partner supports you and your
choices—even when they disagree with
you.
7. You give each other space to study or hang
out with friends or family.
8. You are able to make your own decisions
about spending your money without worrying
about your partner’s reaction.
9. You can discuss pregnancy and parenting
decisions and your view is respected.
10. You feel isolated from friends and family.
11. Your partner tries to control how you
spend time and who you hang out with.
12. Your partner tries to control how you spend
money.
13. Your partner doesn’t support your decisions.
14. You are sometimes forced to do something
that you’re not comfortable with.
15. Your partner threatens, insults, or humiliates
you.
16. Your partner hurts you physically or
emotionally.
17. Your partner doesn’t keep your secrets safe.
18. Your partner undermines your decisions
 Processing Questions:
 1.What were your thoughts and
feelings while answering the activity?
_______________________________________
___________________________
 2.In what ways do you express your
feelings, whether positive or negative?
_______________________________________
___________________________
Activity: Healthy Relationship Items
Set
1. What should you consider when making decisions
around sex and sexual limits?
A. Your Values
B. Your Friends
C. Your Family
D. All of the above
2. What is the best style of communication to use when
making decisions about sexual limits and boundaries?
A. Assertive
B. Passive
C. Aggressive
3. Name three important qualities of a healthy
relationship.
4. Which of the following is NOT an element of
a healthy relationship?
A. Trust one another
B. One Person makes all the decisions
C. Respect one another
D. D. open and honest communication
5. Name a reason why you may not make
healthy choices when it comes to sex.
6. Name three resources you can turn to if you are
worried about abuse in your relationship.
7. Name characteristics of an unhealthy realtionship.
8.What skills do you need to make healthy decisions
in a relationship?
A. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking.
B. Assertive communication, active listening, and
negotiation skills
C. Passive communication
D. None of the above
9. Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3
reasons.
10. Which of the following are signs that you
may be in an abusive relationship?
A. Bruises, scratches and other signs of
injuries
B. Avoiding friends
C. Apologizing for your partner’s behavior
D. All of the above