Communication

Science B1

Week 3

Lecturer: Ms M. Nethengwe
 Overview Weekly Overview

Learn about Throughout this week you will learn about interpersonal communication.

Refer to the Overview and Objectives for a detailed breakdown of the

Refer learning outcomes and assessment criteria.

Week 2: Interpersonal Communication

 • Discuss how conflict can be resolved in interpersonal
relationships.
• Discuss self-disclosure, the Johari-window of self-
disclosure and the impact of self-disclosure on
personal relationships.
• Explain the influence of dominance, power and status
on interpersonal relationships.

Objectives • Use examples to illustrate the various needs and

motivations for engaging in interpersonal
communication.
• Illustrate the importance of assertiveness in social
interactions and interpersonal relationships.
• Discuss Goffman’s theory on presenting the self in
everyday life.
 Interpersonal relationships with friends, family,
colleagues and even strangers are thus
significant to a meaningful, quality life.
Communication is the foundation of all
3.1 interpersonal relationships as we establish,
Introductio develop, maintain and terminate relationships
n with the use of communication (Tubbs, Moss &
Papastefanou 2012; Steinberg & Angelopulo
2015).
 3.2 Conflict in relationships
3.2.2 Conflict Management
The way conflict is dealt with in relationships can make a world of difference. The Exit-Voice-Loyalty-Neglect model demonstrates the
different ways available to deal with conflict:
· Exit
· Neglect
· Loyalty
· Voice
Figure 2.2 The Exit-Voice-Loyalty-Neglect model (Steinberg & Angelopulo 2015, p. 174)
3.2.3 Conflict and Culture

Our culture influences the way we experience and handle conflict. Even our gender influences our experiences of
conflict: women and men deal with conflict very differently. Men tend to keep quiet about issues that bother them
while women want to talk about these openly.

3.2.4 Developing effective Communication Skills for Managing Conflict

Conflict management is a skill that can be learnt. It does, however, require you to pay close attention to your own
communication in a relationship, as well as to the communication of the other person. In your prescribed textbook
you will find a number of useful hints that can assist you with developing effective conflict management skills.
3.3 Developing effective
Communication Skills for Managing
Conflict
Earlier in this chapter you learnt about the stages in interpersonal relationship development.
One factor that is crucial for the development of any interpersonal relationship is self-
disclosure (Steinberg & Angelopulo 2015, p. 177).

3.3.1 Self-disclosure

Self-disclosure is defined as ‘revealing one’s thinking, feelings and beliefs to another’ (Gibson
& Hanna 1992, p. 129). When we engage in self-disclosure, we share private information
about ourselves with others. Sharing information about yourself that other people already
know does not count as self-disclosure, as the revealing of this information does not move the
relationship forward. How much and what information we share depends on the specific
interpersonal relationship. Self-disclosure is important for building relationships as you cannot
move along the stages of relationship development without getting to know someone better.
 3.3.2 A Model of Self-disclosure
The model of self-disclosure, also called the Johari
window, is a useful tool for assessing how much
information people share during self-disclosure. This
model shows four panes or quadrants, each
representing four areas of the self. These four panes
are interdependent and a change in one quadrant
affects the other quadrants.

The figure above illustrates the model of self-disclosure.

You have to be able to draw, explain and give examples
of this model. Refer to your prescribed textbook for a
detailed discussion of the Johari window. Figure 2.3 The Johari window (Luft, 1982, p.1, Figure 1).
3.3.3 Attachment Styles
An attachment style refers to a person’s ability to form and maintain intimate
relationships. There are three different attachment styles, each differing in
terms of our beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships.

• Secure: Secure individuals are comfortable and content with intimacy and
being dependent on others.
• Avoidant: These individuals feel uncomfortable being close to someone and
fear growing intimacy, often shying away and depending only on themselves.
• Anxious-ambivalent: These individuals have a craving for intimate
relationships. Their fear of being rejected or not loved is overwhelming,
causing them to shy away from others.
 3.4 Dominance, Status and Power in
Interpersonal Relationships
In most interpersonal relationships there is usually one dominant partner who holds more status and power in the relationship than the other partner. The
three concepts of dominance, status and power thus feature regularly in interpersonal relationships.
3.4.1 Dominance
The concept of dominance is a continuum with total control on the one side, and submission on the other.
Figure 2.4 Degrees of dominance (Steinberg & Angelopulo 2015, p.181)
In a relationship there might be one person who wants absolute control over everything in the relationship, while the other person will be completely
submissive, giving in to the dominance of the other partner. Individuals with strong self-concepts tend to be more dominant in relationships than those with
weaker self-concepts. The degree to which a person is dominant gives rise to three relationship structures:
· Complementary structure: In a complementary relationship, one partner is dominant while the other is submissive.
· Symmetrical structure: In symmetrical relationships both partners are the same: both partners are either dominant or submissive.
· Parallel structure: A parallel structured relationship makes use of both complementary and symmetrical structures, depending on the particular aspect
of the relationship. One partner might be dominant when it comes to finance, while both partners might be dominant when it comes to decisions about the
children.
3.4.2 Status
Individuals in relationships have different statuses. A status refers to the position of one individual in
relation to the other individual. Status influences the content and style of communication. In a lecturer-
student relationship, the lecturer has more status, thus he or she will get to decide the topic of a class
and the manner of discussion to be followed.

3.4.3 Power
Closely related to status is the idea of power. Power refers to the ability to influence the behaviour of
others or to resist attempts to be influenced yourself. Power is often associated with certain positions in
the work place. According to Tubbs and Moss (2008) there are three bases of gendered power in
society. You will find the full description of these three bases in your prescribed textbook:
· Control of resources
· Control of ideology
· Unequal social obligations
• 3.5 Interpersonal Communication and Needs
• Have you ever wondered why we behave the way we do in relationships? Two theories have been developed to explain people’s
behaviours based on their needs and motivations. Schutz’s interpersonal needs theory and Homans’ social exchange theory both
explain how a relationship grows when people express their needs and motivations.
• 3.5.1 Schutz’s Interpersonal Needs Theory
• According to Schutz’s theory, people form interpersonal relationships to satisfy three basic human needs: inclusion, affection and
control.
• · Need for inclusion: Reflects the desire for social contact that makes us feel accepted, understood and worthwhile.
• · Need for affection: Desire for verbal and nonverbal affection.
• ◊ Underpersonal individuals: value privacy and have little need for affection.
• ◊ Overpersonal individuals: high need for closeness and affection.
• ◊ Personal individuals: able to express and receive affection but also maintain a distance when needed.
• · Need for control: Desire to manage and influence events and people around you.
• ◊ Abdicrats: people with a strong need to be controlled.
• ◊ Autocrats: people with a strong need to be in control.
• ◊ Democrats: people who are comfortable taking control and submitting to others when necessary.
• 3.5.2 Homans’ Social Exchange Theory
• According to Homans’ theory, all social interactions involve some sort of exchange. We strike a bargain during interactions, where we might offer
our friendship in return for some emotional support. According to this theory, we calculate the rewards we are likely to get when we invest
certain costs in a relationship, like our time, money or even love.
• 3.6 Interpersonal Communication and Assertiveness
• The way we express ourselves to others can have a positive or negative effect on the quality of our interpersonal relationships. You might
experience feelings of anger, fear, happiness or sadness and the ability to successfully communicate these feelings are significant in all
relationships.
• 3.6.1 Assertiveness Defined
• The ability to express yourself without harming ourselves or others is called assertiveness. An assertive person can communicate feelings and
opinions openly and honestly and they can justify their feelings or even offer suggestions without attacking or hurting the other person.
• 3.6.2 Assertiveness Styles
• There are three possible communication or assertiveness styles: passive or non-assertive style, aggressive style and assertive style. Each of these
styles is explained in more detail in your prescribed textbook.
• · Passive/non-assertive style
• · Aggressive style
• · Assertive style
• Read further Chapter 8 in your prescribed textbook on assertive styles to get further understanding.
3.7 The Presentation of Self in everyday life
Theorist Erving Goffman believed that when people meet in social situations, they play roles that are based on socially
established patterns of behaviour. These performances we play in front of others are called dramaturgical performances.
The theory of the dramaturgical metaphor sees communication as a ‘script’ that we use to interact with others while we
each act out our different roles, which are defined according to a shared social meaning. There are a number of concepts
associated with this theory of the presentation of the self:
People use masks to hide their real identities. This mask represents the image of ourselves that we want others to see and
believe.
We rely on ritual codes to shape a performance that matches the expected social behaviour as prescribed by society. If a
performance does not match the ritual code, people will not believe it.
Depending on the context, we play various characters, each with a unique mask. We play the roles of sons, daughters,
friends, lovers and even students.
Performances are given on the front stage – in front of other people where our masks can be seen and evaluated.
The backstage is where we go to prepare our performances. This is the place where you are alone and comfortable enough
to take off your masks and be your real self without others seeing.
The performances we give are referred to as our social or public self.
Activity
1. Define the following terms in your own words: a.
(a) I-it and I-you relationships
(b) Norms and roles
(c) Interpersonal communication
(d) Self-disclosure
(e) The dramaturgical metaphor
2. What are the characteristics of interpersonal relationships? Discuss each
characteristic and use examples to illustrate your answer.
3. What are the stages of relationship formation? Discuss each stage with
relevant examples.