Databases are the heart of most PHP projects but roughly TWO PERCENT of PHP programmers have had any real training in Structured Query Language, SQL. Then they wonder why their queries perform poorly, why they get N+1 problems, and suddenly the database becomes the choke point of the project. This presentation will cover the basics of relational algebra (no algebra, math or calculus skills needed!!!!), how to think in sets with Venn Diagrams, and how to let the database do the heavy lifting for you. So if you want to write high performing database queries and be admired as a database deity by your co workers then you need to be in this session!