Making Feedback Less Stressful (HBR Webinar, February 2015)
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The document discusses the importance of feedback in a leadership context, emphasizing that effective feedback should be delivered skillfully to reduce stress among recipients. It outlines key emotional factors that influence how feedback is received and suggests strategies for creating a feedback-rich culture that fosters safety, trust, and intimacy. Additionally, it provides practical steps for both giving and receiving feedback to minimize defensiveness and enhance communication.
![Making Feedback
Ed Batista, February 26, 2015
Less Stressful
Photo by Ana Karenina [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-1-320.jpg)
![Agenda
The headline
Emotion
Social threat
Feedback-rich culture
Questions
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-5-320.jpg)
![The headline
Feedback is stressful
So critique with skill…
Express more appreciation…
& build it into your culture
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-6-320.jpg)
![The simplest
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feedback model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-7-320.jpg)
![The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-8-320.jpg)
![The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
1st key: Specify behavior [X]
Clarifies what we’re talking about
feedback model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-9-320.jpg)
![The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
2nd key: Specify emotion [Y]
Creates interest & influences future behavior
feedback model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-10-320.jpg)
![The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-11-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-12-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Antonio Damasio, USC
What purpose do emotions serve?
What role do they play in reasoning?
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-13-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Emotions evolved to support survival
Uncontrolled emotion & bias can lead us astray*
But emotion is integral to reasoning
Essential for efficient decision-making
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-14-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Victor Johnston, New Mexico State
“Discriminant hedonic amplifiers”
Boost signals in our mental landscape
Emotions = Attention magnets
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-15-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Joseph LeDoux, NYU
“A quick and dirty signal”
Neural pathways 2x
But speed has a price
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-16-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-17-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Rapid triggering
Reflexive responses
Sensing ≠ Comprehension
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-18-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Display rules
“Don’t be so emotional.”
Disclosing feelings Vulnerable
Emotion management is key
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-19-320.jpg)
![Emotion
Photo by Tania Cataldo [link]
management](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-20-320.jpg)
![Reframing
Photo by Rodrigo Baptista [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-22-320.jpg)
![Self-soothing
Photo by Amanda Patsopoulou [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-25-320.jpg)
![Talking about
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feelings](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-29-320.jpg)
![Talking about
feelings
“Affect labeling”
Amygdala
Talking disrupts negative emotion
Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-30-320.jpg)
![Stress & learning
Photo by Sara V. [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-31-320.jpg)
![Stress & learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Arousal improves performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much stress stifles learning
Photo by Sara V. [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-32-320.jpg)
![Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
To review](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-38-320.jpg)
![Who cares?
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-41-320.jpg)
![Can I give you
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
some feedback?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-43-320.jpg)
![Why is feedback
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
so stressful?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-44-320.jpg)
![Feedback and
Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
social threat](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-45-320.jpg)
![Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-46-320.jpg)
![Threat response
“Fight, flight or freeze”
Photo by State Farm [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-47-320.jpg)
![Threat response
Physiological
Adrenaline & cortisol
Heart rate, blood pressure, respiration
Optimized for strength & speed
Photo by State Farm [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-48-320.jpg)
![Threat response
Emotional
Anger & aggression
Fear & anxiety
Primed for snap judgments
Photo by State Farm [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-49-320.jpg)
![Threat response
Cognitive
Negativity bias
Impairment & diminished capacity
Decision-making, problem-solving, collaboration
Photo by State Farm [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-50-320.jpg)
![Social threat
Photo by David Sim [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-51-320.jpg)
![Social threat
Some social situations ≈ Physical threats
Identical responses
Physiological
Emotional
Cognitive
Photo by David Sim [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-52-320.jpg)
![Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-53-320.jpg)
![SCARF model
Status
Photo by the National Guard [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-55-320.jpg)
![SCARF model
Status
Certainty
Photo by Amy Ashcraft [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-56-320.jpg)
![SCARF model
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Photo by Charles Hoffman [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-57-320.jpg)
![SCARF model
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Photo by Don-Pixel [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-58-320.jpg)
![SCARF model
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Fairness
Photo by JMTImages [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-59-320.jpg)
![Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
Use the model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-61-320.jpg)
![When getting
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-62-320.jpg)
![Photo by Garry Knight [link]
When giving
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-71-320.jpg)
![Photo by Harsha KR [link]
Relationships](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-74-320.jpg)
![When giving
Photo by Phil McElhinney [link]
Not like this
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-77-320.jpg)
![When giving
Photo by Oakley Originals [link]
feedback
Like this](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-78-320.jpg)
![Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
Relationships
& conflict](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-80-320.jpg)
![Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
Defensiveness](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-84-320.jpg)
![Defensiveness
Specific form of threat response
Generated by perceptions of unfairness
We feel misunderstood and want to explain
Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-85-320.jpg)
![Defensiveness
It’s useful data (Sign of significance)
But threat response Cognitive impairment
When triggered, we can’t take in feedback
Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-86-320.jpg)
![Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-87-320.jpg)
![Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
David Bradford, Stanford
How to increase perceptions of fairness?
How to minimize defensiveness?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-88-320.jpg)
![Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
Use the model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-99-320.jpg)
![When getting
Photo by Francesco [link]
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-100-320.jpg)
![When giving
Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-107-320.jpg)
![When giving
Avoid crossing the net
Focus on what you know
(Observed behavior & your response)
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-109-320.jpg)
![Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
To review](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-112-320.jpg)
![To review
Minimize social threat
The SCARF model & the net
Reframe, self-soothe, talk about feelings
Build the relationship
Manage defensiveness
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-113-320.jpg)
![Feedback-rich
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
culture](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-114-320.jpg)
![Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
Read More](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-119-320.jpg)
![Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Abraham Maslow
What motivates us as human beings?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-120-320.jpg)
![Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Physiological
Safety
Love & belonging
Esteem
Self-actualization](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-121-320.jpg)
![Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Parallels in working groups
relationships &
organizations…](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-122-320.jpg)
![Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Experiments, risk-taking &
vulnerability
Learning, self-
awareness & change
Parallels in working groups
relationships &
organizations…
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-123-320.jpg)
![Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
THE FOUNDATION](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-124-320.jpg)
![Positive feedback
Photo by Scott Cutler [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-133-320.jpg)
![Positive feedback
Practical steps
Start small
Acknowledge & appreciate
When you do [X], I feel [Y].](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-137-320.jpg)
![Normalcy
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-140-320.jpg)
![Normalcy
Make feedback normal
Not a performance review
Leaders = Role models
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-141-320.jpg)
![Normalcy
Practical steps
Don’t wait for special occasions
Work in public (riskier, more trust & intimacy)
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-hbr-feedback-slideshare-150224194648-conversion-gate01/85/Making-Feedback-Less-Stressful-HBR-Webinar-February-2015-142-320.jpg)
![Accountability
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Making Feedback Less Stressful (HBR Webinar, February 2015)
- 1. Making Feedback Ed Batista, February 26, 2015 Less Stressful Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
- 2. Photo:SethAnderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB Write @ HBR.org & edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
- 3. Photo:SethAnderson Why feedback matters to me Touchy Feely Changed my view of myself Impact on my clients & students
- 4. Photo:SethAnderson Why I believe it matters to you Soft skills are hard Leadership is evolving Feedback = The most efficient way to improve Read More
- 5. Agenda The headline Emotion Social threat Feedback-rich culture Questions Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
- 6. The headline Feedback is stressful So critique with skill… Express more appreciation… & build it into your culture Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
- 7. The simplest Photo by Ed Yourdon [link] feedback model
- 8. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model
- 9. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. 1st key: Specify behavior [X] Clarifies what we’re talking about feedback model
- 10. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. 2nd key: Specify emotion [Y] Creates interest & influences future behavior feedback model
- 11. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model
- 12. Emotion Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link] Read More
- 13. Emotion Antonio Damasio, USC What purpose do emotions serve? What role do they play in reasoning? Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
- 14. Emotion Emotions evolved to support survival Uncontrolled emotion & bias can lead us astray* But emotion is integral to reasoning Essential for efficient decision-making Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link] Read More
- 15. Emotion Victor Johnston, New Mexico State “Discriminant hedonic amplifiers” Boost signals in our mental landscape Emotions = Attention magnets Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link] Read More
- 16. Emotion Joseph LeDoux, NYU “A quick and dirty signal” Neural pathways 2x But speed has a price Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link] Read More
- 17. Emotion Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
- 18. Emotion Rapid triggering Reflexive responses Sensing ≠ Comprehension Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
- 19. Emotion Display rules “Don’t be so emotional.” Disclosing feelings Vulnerable Emotion management is key Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
- 20. Emotion Photo by Tania Cataldo [link] management
- 21. Emotion Not “suppression” Reframing Self-soothing Talking about feelings management
- 22. Reframing Photo by Rodrigo Baptista [link]
- 23. Reframing “Cognitive reappraisal” James Gross & Rebecca Ray, Stanford Kevin Ochsner, Columbia How do our thoughts influence our experience?
- 24. Reframing The meanings we assign Emotional response Re-interpret a situation Manage our emotions Read More
- 25. Self-soothing Photo by Amanda Patsopoulou [link]
- 26. Self-soothing “Physiological modification” Active steps to change our emotional state
- 27. Self-soothing “Response modification” Active choice in how we express emotion
- 28. Self-soothing Deeper, slower breaths Speak more slowly & monitor tone Sense our non-verbals & body language Shift focus of our attention
- 29. Talking about Photo by Ed Yourdon [link] feelings
- 30. Talking about feelings “Affect labeling” Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion Photo by Ed Yourdon [link] Read More
- 31. Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link]
- 32. Stress & learning Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves performance up to a point Some stress increases learning Too much stress stifles learning Photo by Sara V. [link]
- 34. Stress & learning Hans Selye, Université de Montréal Eustress & Distress Read More
- 35. Stress & learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress
- 36. Stress & learning Judy Willis Teachers limit stress Students learn more Read More
- 37. Stress & learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress Critical to avoid the tipping point
- 38. Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link] To review
- 39. To review Emotion Integral to reasoning Attracts attention Exerts influence A critical element in feedback
- 40. To review Emotion also… Fast-moving & hard to control Distress stifles learning Management practices are key
- 41. Who cares? Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]
- 42. 6 of the scariest words in the English language
- 43. Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
- 44. Why is feedback Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] so stressful?
- 45. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
- 46. Photo by State Farm [link] Threat response
- 47. Threat response “Fight, flight or freeze” Photo by State Farm [link]
- 48. Threat response Physiological Adrenaline & cortisol Heart rate, blood pressure, respiration Optimized for strength & speed Photo by State Farm [link]
- 49. Threat response Emotional Anger & aggression Fear & anxiety Primed for snap judgments Photo by State Farm [link]
- 50. Threat response Cognitive Negativity bias Impairment & diminished capacity Decision-making, problem-solving, collaboration Photo by State Farm [link]
- 51. Social threat Photo by David Sim [link]
- 52. Social threat Some social situations ≈ Physical threats Identical responses Physiological Emotional Cognitive Photo by David Sim [link]
- 53. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model
- 54. SCARF model David Rock, NeuroLeadership Institute What social situations trigger a threat response? Read More
- 55. SCARF model Status Photo by the National Guard [link]
- 56. SCARF model Status Certainty Photo by Amy Ashcraft [link]
- 57. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Photo by Charles Hoffman [link]
- 58. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Photo by Don-Pixel [link]
- 59. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Photo by JMTImages [link]
- 61. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Use the model
- 62. When getting Photo by Ed Yourdon [link] feedback
- 63. When getting feedback (Reframe the experience)
- 64. Offering feedback ≠ Higher status Emphasize choice & agency Remember the relationship* Manage defensiveness* When getting feedback
- 65. When getting Feeling threatened ≠ There’s an actual threat feedback
- 67. When getting Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Notice & arrest our threat response Slow things down feedback
- 68. When getting feedback (Talk about feelings)
- 69. When getting Feedback should be a dialogue feedback
- 70. When getting Feedback should be a dialogue Share feelings in the moment Manage threat response feedback
- 71. Photo by Garry Knight [link] When giving feedback
- 72. When giving (Lower the risk of threat response) feedback
- 73. When giving Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship feedback
- 74. Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships
- 75. Relationships John Gottman, University of Washington What characterizes successful relationships? Read More
- 76. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to “bids” Mutual influence A soft start*
- 77. When giving Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this feedback
- 78. When giving Photo by Oakley Originals [link] feedback Like this
- 79. Begin with authentic positive intent Emphasize mutual goals Manage stress levels Minimize risk of threat response When giving feedback Read More
- 80. Photo by Connor Tartar [link] Relationships & conflict
- 81. 5:1 positive to negative interactions Over time, not in every conversation “Emotional bank account” Relationships & conflict
- 82. Relationships Requires investment in advance Can’t “switch on” when needed
- 83. Relationships Goal isn’t just “warm fuzzies” Strong relationships Feedback is less stressful
- 84. Photo by Roger Alcantara [link] Defensiveness
- 85. Defensiveness Specific form of threat response Generated by perceptions of unfairness We feel misunderstood and want to explain Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
- 86. Defensiveness It’s useful data (Sign of significance) But threat response Cognitive impairment When triggered, we can’t take in feedback Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
- 87. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] The net
- 88. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] The net David Bradford, Stanford How to increase perceptions of fairness? How to minimize defensiveness?
- 99. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Use the model
- 100. When getting Photo by Francesco [link] feedback
- 101. When getting (Reframe the experience) feedback
- 102. When getting They will cross the net Impact ≠ Intent Our defensiveness wasn’t their intention feedback
- 104. When getting How do I respond when I feel unfairly accused? Down-regulate our emotions Slow things down feedback
- 105. When getting (Talk about feelings) feedback
- 106. When getting “I feel a little defensive.” Or embarrassed or ashamed Very difficult & very effective feedback
- 107. When giving Photo by Andrew Yee [link] feedback
- 108. When giving (Minimize the risk of threat response) feedback
- 109. When giving Avoid crossing the net Focus on what you know (Observed behavior & your response) When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback
- 110. When giving Remember that you will cross the net Intent ≠ Impact Intentions don’t guarantee desired impact feedback
- 111. When giving Disclose your intention Down-regulate their emotions feedback
- 112. Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link] To review
- 113. To review Minimize social threat The SCARF model & the net Reframe, self-soothe, talk about feelings Build the relationship Manage defensiveness Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 114. Feedback-rich Photo by Heisenberg Media [link] culture
- 115. Feedback-rich Social threat Many times/day Most commonly at work Individual skills reduce social threat Culture plays a huge role culture
- 116. Feedback-rich culture Individual skills ≈ Genes Environment determines their expression Skills are necessary but insufficient on their own Ability to deploy skills is culture-dependent
- 118. Feedback-rich culture Safety, trust & intimacy Balance Normalcy Accountability Read More
- 119. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy Read More
- 120. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings?
- 121. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Physiological Safety Love & belonging Esteem Self-actualization
- 122. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Parallels in working groups relationships & organizations…
- 123. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability Learning, self- awareness & change Parallels in working groups relationships & organizations… Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
- 124. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Psychological safety, trust & intimacy THE FOUNDATION
- 125. Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I won’t get hurt. Trust = I believe you & you believe me. Intimacy = We can make the private public.
- 126. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Safety It’s OK to be vulnerable. I’m open to criticism. We can discuss emotional topics without fear.
- 127. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Trust I believe in your good intentions. I know negative feedback is intended to help. I accept positive feedback as genuine.
- 128. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Intimacy I can tell you how I feel about you. We can invite another person into the discussion. We can have this discussion with the whole team.
- 129. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Practical steps Get to know each other Invest in relationships Build “emotional bank accounts”
- 130. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Practical steps Talk about emotions Expand your comfort zone Modify display rules
- 131. Safety, trust, intimacy & feedback Practical steps Make it OK to say “No” Or at least “Not now” Minimize threat response
- 132. Balance
- 133. Positive feedback Photo by Scott Cutler [link]
- 134. Positive feedback A paradox So important So often ineffective What’s wrong? Read More
- 135. Positive feedback Lack of trust We often praise the wrong things Read More
- 136. Positive feedback Often unsaid (Display rules) We don’t practice We never improve Balance over time is key
- 137. Positive feedback Practical steps Start small Acknowledge & appreciate When you do [X], I feel [Y].
- 138. Positive feedback Practical steps Praise effort & persistence Not innate abilities Builds resilience & determination
- 139. Positive feedback Practical steps Offer some positive feedback…and stop Don’t praise to buffer criticism Use a soft start instead
- 140. Normalcy Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
- 141. Normalcy Make feedback normal Not a performance review Leaders = Role models Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
- 142. Normalcy Practical steps Don’t wait for special occasions Work in public (riskier, more trust & intimacy) Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
- 143. Accountability Photo by Hector Alejandro [link]
- 144. Accountability Walking the talk Leaders’ behavior is key
- 145. Accountability Practical steps Be transparent Ask for feedback (Subordinates won’t volunteer it)
- 146. Thank you! Photo by Brett Casadonte [link] www.edbatista.com