Creating Space Through Silence
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The document discusses the importance of listening and the role of silence in fostering better communication and understanding in various contexts, particularly in user research. It explores concepts of active listening, inner silence, and shares practical exercises for enhancing listening skills. Additionally, it emphasizes the need to be mindful and present during interactions, while also addressing common pitfalls to avoid in listening scenarios.
Creating Space Through Silence
- 1. THE ART OF LISTENING CREATING SPACE THROUGH SILENCE
- 2. WHO AM I? AJARA ▸ 20+ years of analog and digital design work. Web and UX designer, App designer, Scrum Master, Project Leader. ▸ 15+ years of teaching tech to people from 8-80. HTML, CSS, Web design, Adobe CS, Social Media, MacOSX. ▸ 30+ years of meditation. Trained therapist: counselling, breath, primal, hara awareness . Meditation leader.
- 4. SILENCE EXPERIENCE OUTSIDE ▸ Being in close proximity to strangers e.g. public transport, lift, waiting room. ▸ Sharing space as a necessity, not by choice. ▸ Physical closeness to strangers is perceived as threat. The mind creates invisible boundaries for protection. ▸ Being in a group of people you don’t really know. Exit route: small talk. ▸ Question: Where are you silent with others and feel comfortable?
- 5. “THERE IS THE DUMB SILENCE OF SLUMBER OR APATHY… THE FERTILE SILENCE OF AWARENESS, PASTURING THE SOUL… THE SILENCE OF PEACEFUL ACCORD WITH OTHER PERSONS OR COMMUNION WITH THE COSMOS.” Paul Goodman
- 6. SILENCE EXPERIENCE INSIDE ▸ A calm and relaxed space where you are aware and present. ▸ Connection to your inner resource. ▸ 'Going in’ needs practice. ▸ Create experiences of inner silence through exercise. ▸ Integrate practice into your daily life. ▸ Silence is a key to presence! ▸ Question: When was the last time you were silent without doing anything?
- 7. “SITTING QUIETLY, DOING NOTHING, SPRING COMES, AND THE GRASS GROWS, BY ITSELF.” Bashō Matsuo SILENCE
- 8. THE ART OF LISTENING CREATING SPACE
- 9. “MOST PEOPLE DO NOT LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO UNDERSTAND; THEY LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO REPLY.” Stephen R. Covey THE ART OF LISTENING
- 10. THE ART OF LISTENING THE LOST ART OF LISTENING ▸ Mostly we don’t listen to understand. We listen to react. To share our thoughts, opinions - we are just waiting for our turn to talk. ▸ We think up to 4 times faster than we can speak. We are able to listen to 450 words a minute but the average person only speaks up to 175 words a minute. Mind the gap! ▸ We all want to be heard but hardly anyone wants to listen. Listening takes work. ▸ The ability to listen is one of our most powerful tools! ▸ Question: When was the last time you really listened to someone?
- 12. THE ART OF LISTENING ACTIVE LISTENING ▸ 1987 Carl Rogers and Richard Farson developed the term “active listening”. ▸ Active listening is defined as “the act of mindfully hearing and attempting to comprehend the meaning of words spoken by another person in a conversation or speech.” ▸ Listening in its purest form. ▸ The point of active listening is to just… listen! ▸ To become an active listener you have to practice.
- 13. THE ART OF LISTENING ACTIVE LISTENING ▸ A simple listening exercise: ▸ Sit comfortably ▸ Close your eyes ▸ Listen to the sounds that are furthest away from you ▸ Listen to the sounds that are closest to you ▸ Now listen to the sounds that are somewhere in between ▸ Practice for 10 minutes or more every day.
- 15. USER RESEARCH SETTING ▸ Consider spacial boundaries when arranging furniture and devices. ▸ Have somebody else taking notes or use a recording device. ▸ Actively prepare yourself. (Grimacing, Gibberish, Shaking) ▸ Focus on listening only with the true intent of understanding what the person is saying. No analysing, evaluating and drawing new assumptions. ▸ Replace concentration with awareness.
- 16. “WORDS ARE EVENTS, THEY DO THINGS, CHANGE THINGS. THEY TRANSFORM BOTH SPEAKER AND HEARER; THEY FEED ENERGY BACK AND FORTH AND AMPLIFY IT.” Ursula K. Le Guin
- 17. USER RESEARCH DO ▸ Forget about all your assumptions and ideas. ▸ Validate the contribution of the participant at the beginning. ▸ Listen from your 'inner silence' space. ▸ Make the participants feel heard. Keep eye contact throughout. ▸ Be a present observer. ▸ Be aware of your body language: sit straight, open chest, both feet on the ground.
- 18. USER RESEARCH DON’T ▸ Don’t try too hard to make everybody comfortable. ▸ Don’t use filler phrases for encouragement. Avoid pleasing mode. ▸ Don’t comment non-verbally with gestures or grimaces (eyebrows, hands, mouth). A slight nod is enough. ▸ Don’t fidget or display any unconscious behaviour patterns. ▸ Don’t make the participant your accomplice. Everybody wants to be liked. ▸ Don’t be afraid of silence. Let silence be part of the journey in a natural way. Don’t talk over it.
- 19. Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still. For once on the face of the earth, let’s not speak in any language; let’s stop for one second, and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines; we would all be together in a sudden strangeness. Fisherman in the cold sea would not harm whales and the man gathering salt would look at his hurt hands. Those who prepare green wars, wars with gas, wars with fire, victories with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers in the shade, doing nothing. What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it is about; I want no truck with death. If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death. Perhaps the earth can teach us as when everything seems dead and later proves to be alive. Now I’ll count up to twelve and you keep quiet and I will go. KEEPING QUIET Pablo Neruda
- 20. THE END THANK YOU FOR LISTENING ajara i. pfannenschmidt web craftswoman @ip_nagare [email protected]
- 21. INSPIRATION SOURCES ▸ Ursula K. Le Guin: “Telling Is Listening” found in The Wave in the Mind: Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader, and the Imagination. ▸ Paul Goodman: Nine types of Silence found in Speaking and Language – Defence of Poetry. ▸ Carl Rogers & Roger Farson: Active Listening. ▸ Dr. Stephen R. Covey: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. ▸ Pablo Neruda: Keeping Quiet found in Extravagaria. ▸ Bashō Matsuo: On Love and Barley: Haiku of Basho.