3. Emotional Intelligence (EI) Defined
Ability to recognize
and understand
emotions
Using this
awareness to
manage yourself
and relationships
with others
4. Johnny Mac – Emotionally Intelligent?
http://youtu.be/C8Nyc9jzSDg
5. Aristotle says,
Anybody can become angry
– that is easy, but to be angry
with the right person and to the
right degree and at the right time
and for the right purpose, and in
the right way – that is not within
everybody’s power and is not
easy.
6. Science Behind EI – Brain Pathways
Spinal Chord
(enters brain here)
Limbic System
(I feel here)
I think rationally
(way over here)
EQ affected by our ability
to form & keep well-
traveled connections here
7. 4 Skills of Emotional Intelligence
Self-Awareness Self-Management
Social Awareness
Relationship
Management
Emotional
Intelligence
WHAT I SEE WHAT I DO
PERSONAL
COMPETENCE
SOCIAL
COMPETENCE
8. EQ Quiz Instructions
Read each question and select 1-5, based on your
immediate response to the item.
1 = Strongly Disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neither Agree or Disagree
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly Agree
9. EQ Quiz Scoring
Add up your score to determine where you stand on
Emotional Intelligence
119 or higher = Above Average EI
98 – 118 = Moderate EI
97 or lower = Low EI
10. EQ vs. Job Title
Supervisor Manager Director Executive C-Suite
Often promote based on intellect instead of EQ
11. EI Starts with Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness
•Ability to accurately perceive
your own emotions
•Stay aware of your emotions
as they happen
•Keep on top of how you tend
to respond to specific
situations and people
The greatest of faults
is to be conscious of
none
Thomas Carlyle
12. Improving Self-Awareness
Know Thyself
See yourself for who you are (what do you think and feel)
Watch your emotions like a hawk (even physiological signs)
Track & backtrack your emotions in a difficult
conversation or meeting – learn your tendencies in
emotionally arousing situations
Use paired sharing (peer or supervisor)
Own your actions – take full responsibility for what you
say and do
http://youtu.be/1bYO-mm_MvM
13. Use Awareness to Self-Manage
Self-Management
•Ability to use awareness of
your emotions to stay
flexible and positively direct
your behavior
•Managing your emotional
reactions to all situations
and people
The first and best
victory is to conquer
self
Plato
14. Emotional Triggers
What are the triggers that
make you want to blow an
emotional gasket?
http://youtu.be/mC_97F2Zn9k
15. Emotional Red Flags & Breakdowns
Angry tirades Door Slamming
Email letter bomb
Use of sarcasm and inappropriate humor
Withdrawal & Isolation
Holding grudges and getting even
Passive Aggressive behavior
16. Becoming Socially Aware
Social Awareness
•Ability to accurately pick
up on emotions in other
people
•Understand what is really
going on
•Understanding what other
people are thinking and
feeling even if you don’t
feel the same way
Resolve to be tender with the
young, compassionate with the
aged, sympathetic with the
striving and tolerant with the
weak and wrong. Sometime in
your life, you will have been all of
these.
Gautama Buddha
http://youtu.be/S2XvxDaIwCw
17. Social Awareness Requires Empathy
Empathy is the ability to see the world from
another’s point of view and to identify
and understand another’s situation,
feelings and motives
18. Improving Social Awareness
Spend extra time observing,
asking & listening
Maintain eye contact
Give the speaker your full
attention
Playback and summarize
Try on their shoes
Suspend your judgment
Read body language
Decipher emotions in speech
tone
19. Use Awareness to Manage Relationships
Relationship
Management
•Ability to use awareness of
your emotions and emotions
of others to manage
interactions successfully
•Ensure clear
communication and
effective handling of conflict
http://youtu.be/5SnSzo4AbRI
People aren’t either wicked or
noble. They’re like chef salads
with good things and bad things
chopped up and mixed together
in a vinaigrette of confusion and
conflict.
Lemony Snicket
20. Improving Relationship Management
Seek to build high quality, high trust relationships
Try to discover what role emotions are playing in
your interactions with others
If you sense tension or other emotional reactions in
a person’s body language or speech, ask questions
to seek to understand
Be quick to settle disputes, differences of opinion
and misunderstandings
21. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Self-Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions to stay flexible and
positively direct your behavior
•Managing your emotional reactions
to all situations and people
Social Awareness
•Ability to accurately pick up on
emotions in other people
•Understand what is really going on
•Understanding what other people
are thinking and feeling even if you
don’t feel the same way
Self-Awareness
•Ability to accurately perceive your
own emotions
•Stay aware of your emotions as they
happen
•Keep on top of how you tend to
respond to specific situations and
people
Relationship Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions and emotions of others to
manage interactions successfully
•Ensure clear communication and
effective handling of conflict
PERSONAL
COMPETENCE
SOCIAL
COMPETENCE
WHAT I SEE WHAT I DO
22. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Individual & Organizational Performance
23. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Organizational Engagement – Vital Signs
Trust: People have a sense of
safety & assurance to share and
go beyond their comfort zones
Motivation: People feel energized
and committed to doing more than
the minimum
Change: Employees and institutions
are adaptable and innovative
Teamwork: People collaborate
and communicate to take on
challenges
Execution: Individuals are both
focused and accountable
Fariselli, L., Freedman, J., & Ghini, M. (2013). White
Paper: Linking bottom line performance to emotional
intelligence and organizational climate. Retrieved
September 18, 2014 from 6seconds.org.
24. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Stakeholder Engagement
CI Management
Regulator
Contractors
Execs Direct Reports
25. Final Thoughts
If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if
you don’t have self-awareness, if you are
not able to manage your distressing
emotions, if you can’t have empathy and
have effective relationships, than no
matter how smart you are, you are not
going to get very far.
26. EI Resources
Websites
Talentsmart.com
Eiconsortium.org
Eisource.com
6seconds.org
Books / Articles
Goleman
Emotional Intelligence (1995)
Working with emotional intelligence (1998)
Bradberry & Greaves: Emotional Intelligence Quick Book
Anthony Mersino: Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
Emily Sterrett: Managers’ Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence
Editor's Notes
#2:-October 1995 issue – Daniel Goleman based on his book Emotional Intelligence
-Was initially studied in 1920’s during the IQ movement and called social intelligence. Researchers testing intelligence realized that IQ did not capture all of a person’s potential for success. However, the behavioral psychology movement stifled the study of emotional intelligence as it was considered taboo to explore this side of the human psyche.
-Intellect accounts for 20% of success in life (emotional intelligence, social class, and luck make up rest)
-Research at Yale in the early 1990s was conclusive that the EQ is a major indicator of achievement, which helped explain why two people with the same intelligence could attain vastly different levels of success in their work and personal lives.
#6:Our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures. We experience the emotional response to an event before it reaches the part of the brain that thinks rationally and reacts to the emotion.
The more we think about what we are feeling – and do something productive with that feeling – the more developed this pathway becomes. The more traffic in both directions the better.
This means if I typically yell when I’m feeling angry, I have to learn to choose an alternative reaction. I must practice this new reaction many times before it will replace my urge to yell.
#12:Physiological Signs: thoughts speed up, mind goes blank, feeling hot, feeling numb, heart beats increase, muscle tension, tunnel vision, tightness in throat, tingling, trembling or shaking
#14:What are your emotional triggers?
What are some of the emotional triggers of CI’s?
Do you know the emotional triggers of your stakeholders?
#18:Anthropologists make their living watching others in their natural state without letting their own thoughts and feelings disturb the observation. This is social awareness in its purest form.
Reading body language – emotional wheel
#21:Go box by box
Importance of empathy
Relationship management
What is fundamental to any relationship, which low EI could compromise: Trust
Do you think low EI in supervisors, managers or others could be correlated to employee concerns? (many of the issues we receive are because of what someone said or did and how it was perceived)
