Family Court

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An Exploration of the Impact of the Family Court Process on “Invisible”
Stepparents
Natalie J. Gately a; Lisbeth T. Pike a; Paul T. Murphy a
a
School of Psychology, Edith Cowan University, Perth, Western Australia

To cite this Article Gately, Natalie J., Pike, Lisbeth T. and Murphy, Paul T.(2006) 'An Exploration of the Impact of the
Family Court Process on “Invisible” Stepparents', Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 44: 3, 31 — 52
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An Exploration of the Impact
of the Family Court Process
on “Invisible” Stepparents
Natalie J. Gately
Lisbeth T. Pike
Paul T. Murphy
Downloaded By: [University Nevada Reno] At: 03:24 19 March 2010

ABSTRACT. Child custody decisions on separated families seldom
acknowledge the impact that such decisions have on subsequent partners
of the biological parents. New partners are thus “invisible” in litigation
in the Family Court. This project utilised a qualitative research method-
ology to explore this experience with a purposive experiential sample of
12 second partners. The primary themes identified in thematic content
analysis were exclusion and invisibility in a system over which they had
little control. The findings suggest that the negative psychological im-
pact would be lessened if a policy of inclusion was adopted in the Family
Court process. [Article copies available for a fee from The Haworth Document
Delivery Service: 1-800-HAWORTH. E-mail address: <docdelivery@haworth
press.com> Website: <http://www.HaworthPress.com> © 2006 by The
Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved.]

KEYWORDS. Stepparents, stepfamilies, remarriage, Family Court, ad-
versarial, invisibility, exclusion, Family Systems Theory, Equity Theory

Natalie J. Gately, BA (Hons), is a PhD candidate at the School of Psychology, Edith
Cowan University at Perth, Western Australia (E-mail: n.gately@ecu.edu.au).
Lisbeth T. Pike, PhD, is Associate Professor, School of Psychology, Edith Cowan
University at Perth, Western Australia (E-mail: 1.pike@ecu.edu.au).
Paul T. Murphy, PhD, is affiliated with the School of Psychology, Edith Cowan
University at Perth, Western Australia.
Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, Vol. 44(3/4) 2006
Available online at http://www.haworthpress.com/web/JDR
© 2006 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved.
doi:10.1300/J087v44n03_03 31

32 JOURNAL OF DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE

INTRODUCTION

Increasing parental separation over past decades means that approx-
imately one million children under 18 years of age will experience the
divorce of their parents (Smyth & Wolcott, 2003). This is reflected in
statistics indicating that one in four children live in an alternative family
form to both biological parents (Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS),
1997). Consequently, a greater number of parents are accessing the ser-
vices of the Family Court to litigate various orders relating to child resi-
dency and contact (Family Court Counselling Services (FCCS), 2002)
and property and financial settlements (Charlesworth, Neville, Turner

& Foreman, 2000). The Family Court of Western Australia (FCWA)
processes approximately seven thousand new cases every year (Kerin &
Murphy, 2003). A significant proportion of these cases (approximately
35 percent) involve disputes relating to children (Murphy & Pike,
2004a). Although the courts attempt to resolve these issues within an
appropriate timeframe, it is not unusual for any one case to span a
number of years (Fisher & Pullen, 2003).
Estimates project that 50-60 percent of couples in first marriages will
separate (Degarmo & Forgatch, 2002; Duran-Aydintung & Ihinger-
Tallman, 1995; Jones, 2003). Research has indicated that women
(mothers) ordinarily repartner within 3-5 years post-separation and men
(fathers) typically repartner within 1-2 years of separation (Hughes,
2000). This suggests that a number of parents will be negotiating the
family law process whilst simultaneously forming new interpersonal
relationships (Murphy & Pike, 2004b; De’Ath, 1997). Whilst these
relationships become established, the new partner inevitably becomes
integrated in bureaucratic systems such as the Family Court where a
number of issues associated with the dissolution of the previous rela-
tionship are still being resolved (Murphy & Pike, 2004b).
Whether living with a residential or non-residential parent, the new
partner in this reconstituted (step)family will inevitably assume some
parental responsibilities for their new partner’s children (Baum, 2003;
Funder, 1991). However these partners (stepparents) are notably absent
from the Family Court process, and are essentially hidden or “invisible”
when decisions are made about residency and contact regarding the
children (Edwards, Gillies & McCarthy, 1999). These decisions may
very well impact upon their own new lifestyle and relationship, thereby
placing an additional burden on the reconstituted stepfamily.
In this report the term stepparent will refer to an adult partner of the
biological parent who has no legal or genetic relationship with the

Gately, Pike, and Murphy 33

partner’s children (Murphy, 1999), and will be used for both legally
married (de jure) and defacto relationships, acknowledging that many
families seeking assistance from the Family Court in respect of chil-
dren’s issues are not formally married (Kelley, 1996; Ritala-Koskinen,
1997).
Research indicates that stepfamilies comprise an increasing propor-
tion of contemporary Australian families. However, the statistics do not
recognise the number of defacto partnerships that are formed after sepa-
ration by couples who are waiting for the legal processes to be com-
pleted before being free to re-marry or simply opt not to formalise their
new relationship (Fausel, 1995). Current statistics grossly underesti-

mate the number of couples who repartner after separation. Murphy and
Pike (2004a) suggested that when defacto families and non-residential
stepfamilies are accounted for, Australian stepfamilies are estimated to
be as high as 30% of all family forms. This reflects estimations in other
western nations (Jones, 2003; Martin, 1998). The research that has been
conducted suggested a significant increase in second marriage failure
(Olsen & DeFrain, 2000). This high rate of divorce in second and subse-
quent marriages puts children at greater risk of experiencing another
major disruption (Bray & Hetherington, 1993; Aquilino, 1994; De’Ath,
1997; Doyle, Wolchik & Dawson-McClure, 2002) with as many as two
thirds reportedly experiencing multiple divorces (Wallerstein & Lewis,
2004). As a consequence, issues associated with separation, divorce and
repartnering require extensive consideration.
Despite the need for research to examine the many issues that are
associated with repartnering, the current body of literature is quite nar-
row in focus. Existing research is dominated by child and adolescent
perceptions of stepfamilies (Amato & Bruce, 1991; Cartwright &
Seymour, 2003; Freisthler, Svare & Harrison-Jay, 2003; Gamache,
1997; Smart, 2000), to the exclusion of the more diverse issues that are
associated with family functioning. Also explored are the psychological
effects of marital breakdown and repartnering on mothers (Solomon,
1995), fathers (Frieman, 2002), and even grandparents (Lussier,
Deater-Deckard, Dunn & Davies, 2002). However, little is known about
the stepparents and their experience of Family Court processes.
The research that has been conducted into stepparents focuses mainly
on economic and family relationships, confirming that the experience
of the stepparent can be far from satisfying (Bray & Berger, 1993;
Coleman & Ganong, 1997; Kheshgi-Genovese & Genovese, 1997;
Visher, Visher & Pasley, 1997). It has been suggested that the negative
experiences of stepfamily dynamics may be due to the conflict and


stress that is experienced during its formation (Bray & Hetherington,
1993). One significant source of stress may well be the exclusion from
Family Court processes. A theoretical approach to the study of families
is the Family Systems Theory, which posits that whatever impacts upon
one member will inevitably impact upon all other family members
(Olson & DeFrain, 2000). This research therefore explores the impact
that Family Court decisions have on the new lifestyle and relationship
of stepparents and specifically seeks to address the following questions:

Does the Family Court process impact upon the partners of litigating
parents?

How does the Family Court process impact upon the partners of liti-
gating parents?

METHOD

Research Design

The current study is exploratory research that has utilised a qualitative
methodology incorporating a semi-structured interview process. A phe-
nomenological philosophy was adopted by the researcher as it was
suited to discovering the subjective experiences of individuals in the
Family Court context (Creswell, 1998). This enabled the identification
of common themes and meanings within the descriptive data in order to
establish the primary factors impacting on participants (Banyard &
Miller, 1998; Miles & Huberman, 1994; Patton, 1990; Punch, 2000).

Paradigm and Assumptions

This research is grounded in the Family Systems Theory as it accepts
that family members are interconnected and any event that impacts
upon one individual will ultimately affect every other member in some
way (Olson & DeFrain, 2000). The principles for the Family Systems
Theory proposes that the family needs to be considered as a whole, that
family rules define relationships between its members, that there are
family boundaries, a structured hierarchy, and the family seeks to main-
tain balance by communication and feedback loops, which enable it as
an entity to evolve (Olson & DeFrain, 2000). Without biological ties,
stepfamilies can experience difficulties building the new rules, bound-
aries and cohesive relationships.


The Family Systems Theory has been utilised by researchers to dem-
onstrate how the family is affected as a whole by situations experienced
by individual family members (Olson & DeFrain, 2000; Murphy, 1998)
and is inclusive of different family forms. However, when exploring the
impact of the Family Court process there appears to be a disparity be-
tween the acceptance of different family forms and the new legal and bi-
ological ties created within second families. The Family Court process
assumes a biological model as a base for its policies and procedures.
This creates a perception of inequity. Equity refers to the perception of
balance in relationships (Larson, Hammond & Harper, 1998). The
social psychological Equity Theory devised by Walster, Walster and

Berscheid (1978) suggested that an individual seeks to maximize re-
ward whilst maintaining equilibrium. Therefore, if all factors are bal-
anced, the individual presumes an equitable relationship. However, if
the relationship is perceived as inequitable, individuals seek to address
the imbalance (Larson, Hammond & Harper, 1998). The inability to
correct the balance can lead to withdrawal and despair. This has impli-
cations for individuals enmeshed in a system where they are not ac-
knowledged and where the ability to create equity is not afforded to
them.

Sample

A purposive experiential sample of 12 participants was obtained.
Participants were recruited by placing notices on community and shop-
ping centre notice boards. Participants were over 18 years of age and in
an established relationship with a parent who is or has litigated through
the Family Court of WA. The final sample consisted of eight females
and four males between 25 and 50 years of age (M = 36). The partici-
pants had been in an established relationship with a litigating parent for
2-17 years (M = 8). All participants volunteered and no reward was
offered for participation.

Data Collection Procedures

The interview was conducted in an informal comfortable location,
where information sheets were provided and informed consent received.
Participants consented to the tape-recording of interviews. A short demo-
graphic questionnaire was completed, which allowed rapport to develop
prior to the interview being conducted (Smith, Hare & Van Langenhove,
1995). The participants were notified when the tape-recording was due to


commence and the recorder was placed between the participant and the
interviewer. The semi-structured interview schedule using open-ended
questions and encouraging prompts was used. For example, “What was
your personal experience with the Family Court?” . . . “tell me more” . . .
and “how did that make you feel . . . ?” The participant was free to ex-
press their thoughts and experiences.

Ethics

Interviews were conducted in an environment where the participant
felt comfortable and at ease. Confidentiality was addressed by advising

the participants that it was not necessary to use their real names, how-
ever, they were required to sign the consent form using their legal iden-
tity. Participants were further informed that they could withdraw at any
stage and on completion of the interview any concerns raised by the par-
ticipants were addressed. Interviews were coded and the transcripts and
consent forms were stored separately. Participants were informed that
the data would be destroyed after five years and were provided with
professional contacts on the information sheet in the event of emotional
distress arising from the interview process. The participants were also
made aware of the value of their contribution to the research and
appreciation of their involvement was reinforced.

Data Analysis

The interviews were transcribed verbatim to maintain the accuracy
of the participants’ responses. A question ordered matrix was constructed
with rows of coded participants, and columns of questions in order,
providing a matrix for corresponding responses and comments. As
qualitative research is a continuous interplay between the participants’
responses and the researchers’ interpretation, every effort was made to
ensure the consistency and soundness of the findings in the current study.
Therefore, the researcher acknowledged any personal bias, to allow for
more extensive analysis of the descriptive data. This was achieved with
the method of analyst triangulation. An independent researcher con-
ducted an analysis of responses simultaneously in order to ensure
inter-rater reliability (Punch, 2000; Miles & Huberman, 1994). A third re-
searcher then examined both sets of interpretations in order to determine
a percentage agreement measure (Shaughnessy & Zechmeister, 1990).
An inter-rater agreement rate of 82% was obtained. To ensure the phe-
nomenon under investigation was not compromised, responses were not


significantly reduced (Creswell, 1994; Miles & Huberman, 1994). Also
to guarantee phenomenological validity all participants were contacted
after final analysis to verify findings and confirm understanding of
themes, sub-themes and statements (Miles & Huberman).

Findings and Interpretations

This exploratory study was conducted in order to determine if and
how Family Court processes impact upon the partners of litigating
parents. In order to address research question one, a thematic content
analysis was conducted revealing one major theme . . . the adversarial

process. Additionally two sub-themes of invisibility and exclusion were
identified, demonstrating how the Family Court process impacts upon
partners of litigating parents. Data indicated that invisibility and exclu-
sion facilitated a perception of inequity leading to psychological conse-
quences such as resentment, anger and guilt. The interrelationships
between the themes and sub-themes that emerged from the data are
presented diagrammatically in Figure 1 below.

FIGURE 1. Effect of the Family Court Process on Unacknowledged
Participants.

Adversarial Process
Knowledge/No knowledge
time/cost

Exclusion Invisibility
No defence History/involvement
family unit opinion
no consideration hidden children

Perceived Inequity
Roles of supporters/parents
unfairness
powerlessness

Consequences
Resentment
anger
incongruence/guilt


Adversarial Process

The principle theme extracted from the descriptive data was identi-
fied as the role of the Court process itself. Specific elements of the
process dominated participants’ narratives, in particular knowledge or
no knowledge, time/cost and the terminology used. Participants ex-
plained how they experienced feelings of shock and fear as a result of
their unfamiliarity with the Court process. Many participants shared
these feelings. However, those with prior knowledge of the system (by
having a friend or family member who had supported a partner through
the process), did not experience the same level of shock or fear, as those

without prior knowledge of the system. Examples indicative of the
shock and fear experienced by those with no prior knowledge included:
. . . the system was full steam ahead and there was nothing else I
could do. . . .
. . . I had no idea, I was so shocked that the system allowed this to
happen. . . .
This is evidenced in research into criminal court proceedings that
demonstrated that individuals with no knowledge experience difficul-
ties in dealing within the Court process (Mandell, 1995). Conversely, it
can be assumed that individuals who do have prior knowledge do not
experience the same levels of shock. This was demonstrated in the
current study with responses such as:

I knew that prior to this, that all parties are trying to win at all costs,
at all costs.
. . . the biological parents go through the process . . . with the rest of
us excluded.

Participants consistently remarked on the amount of time that was
taken out of their lives because of their involvement in the Family Court
process. They had not anticipated the protracted nature of disputes
regarding children (Cohen, 2002; Wallerstein, 1997), nor the costs
associated with litigation (Beck & Sales, 2000). For example, one parti-
cipant’s experience was typical:
This whole court thing is all consuming. You have to have time off
from work, my employer was pretty good but they soon get sick of


you needing time off . . . you need to work to get the money. . .
to pay for the court cases . . . and the lawyers . . . and to put food on
the table . . . but you need so much time off.

A further concern was the very nature of the adversarial process with
participants commenting that the legal status as a spouse was afforded
to the ex-spouse and not to them as the new spouse or current spouse.
This was reflected in responses such as:

. . . she’s not the wife, she’s the ex-wife. I am the wife, not the
current wife, not the partner, but the wife, and I have been for eight

years now.

The consequences of failing to acknowledge the existence of steppar-
ents are revealed within the two sub-themes of exclusion and invisibility.

Exclusion

The sub-theme of exclusion suggested that although partners’ pres-
ence was acknowledged, their input and participation was not permit-
ted. This exclusion was evident in all stages from initial mediation to the
process of trial, intensifying for those who had no prior knowledge of
the adversarial process. The feeling of exclusion was demonstrated
within the following statements:

I wasn’t included in anything, very much apart . . . just sat outside,
alone . . . left outside on my own, not knowing what was going on?
excluded . . . was always excluded. . . .

The desire to be included is a fundamental human trait (Baumeister &
Leary, 1995). When obstructed through social exclusion results can
manifest in the forms of stress, anxiety and aggression (Twenge,
Catanese & Baumeister, 2003). This observation surfaced when the par-
ticipants felt they had no defence in protecting themselves against what
they described as “character assassination” commenting:

They took her word for what I was like . . . I wanted to fight back
over all the lies written about me . . . have slandered my name and
written it in dirt. . . .


Consistent with the literature of Jones (2004) these people conse-
quently began to conceal their thoughts and feelings in an effort to re-
duce information being transferred to the child’s other biological parent
where it could be used as “ammunition” against them. Research has in-
dicated that in order to avoid emotional distress, individuals withdraw
and experience feelings of numbness (Twenge, Catanese & Baumeister,
2003; Larson, Hammond & Harper, 1998). This has a direct result on
intrafamilial relationships as it creates divisions in the family structure
and leads to individuals being excluded.
Olson and DeFrain (2000) suggest that strong family ties are facili-
tated by open communication without any member being excluded. The

Family Court process excludes some members, however, these partners
still experience the negative impact of the litigating parent. This sup-
ports the notion of “wholeness” as the event affects every family mem-
ber even when excluded from the event itself (Olson & DeFrain).
Furthermore, despite the exclusion of all but the biological parents in
custody disputes, the Family Court favoured the parent that can provide
a more traditional family household (Lambaise & Cumes, 1987). Once
again, this contradiction was evident in the participants’ statements that
the process did not consider the whole family as a unit (Wallerstein,
1997).

. . . didn’t take into account our family situation . . . not just my
partner and myself, there’s two other children . . . was going to
affect myself, my wife and my children as well. . . .

It is necessary for the court to place a child in the environment that
will best foster their growth and development (Liss & McKinley-Pace,
1994). However, the study indicated that the lack of recognition for
the family as a whole, fostered the perception that only “one child” is
important and that no consideration is afforded to any other family
member:

Never recognised . . . and to this day I’m not recognised?
I am married to him, I am the mother of his other children, the
forgotten ones?
. . . my child was never a consideration for anyone else but me. . . .

This violates the notion that the needs of one family member should
not supersede that of another (Wall & Amadio, 1994). Furthermore, it


was suggested that the focus should be on the best interests of the fam-
ily, rather than the best interests of the child (Wall & Amadio). This
would result in a feeling of “oneness” inducing unification, which is
considered necessary for stepfamily well-being and identification
(Banker & Gaertner, 1998). This is consistent with the Family Systems
Theory which supports the unity of the family as a whole (Olson &
DeFrain, 2000). Furthermore, it was proposed that if family members’
needs are taken into consideration then these individuals will be more
supportive of making the new family situation work (Wall & Amadio).
Therefore it is not unreasonable to assume the current process jeo-
pardises the strengthening of the new family and its overall well-being

(Melton & Wilcox, 1989).

Invisibility

The second sub-theme of invisibility was described as a failure to re-
cognise the participants’ presence (Franklin & Boyd-Franklin, 2000).
Research has consistently demonstrated stepfamilies are invisible to so-
cial systems (Coleman, Ganong & Fine, 2000). However, the degree to
which participants reported feelings of invisibility and a lack of identity
within Family Court processes was not anticipated. This is reflected
within the statements below:

I was a nothing in court . . . I didn’t exist . . . was a shadow . . . a
non-entity. . . .

Where stepparents were permitted to sit contributed to this percep-
tion of invisibility. The participants indicated that they were isolated
from their partner and the court process, being forced into a position
where they were;

. . . sitting down the back in the audience . . . up the back in the
peanut gallery. . . .
. . . down the back with the rest of the public. . . .
. . . I had no contact with him whatsoever in the courtroom, he had
no contact with me. . . .

Participants indicated that the Family Court failed to acknowledge
that they were significantly involved in the stepchild’s home life. The


Family Court also failed to acknowledge that the stepparent had formed
a psychological attachment to their stepchild, or recognise that they
were inherently important to the child (Liss & McKinley-Pace, 1994).
This was demonstrated by the following statement:

. . . my name was down at the school as an emergency contact, and
I was the one who used to go and get them when they were sick. . . .

Wallerstein (1997) suggested that the adversarial process is not in-
clusive, leaving some family members without contribution, thereby
preventing the court from hearing information that will help them un-

derstand the full context of the child’s life. Many participants felt that
they had information which was important to the stepchild’s everyday
life and well-being but this was neither acknowledged nor sought dur-
ing the proceedings. The frustration at not being able to contribute was
evident in the following responses:

. . . told it’s none of my business, but at the end of the day they’re
living in my house. . . .
. . . I rang to discuss my concerns they were like, well, I can’t dis-
cuss this with you. . . .

The very nature of the adversarial process is problematic, as it cre-
ates a win/lose situation and fails to consider the child in the context of
the family as a whole (Wallerstein, 1997). It also fails to acknowledge
that typical family structures within society have diversified, with tra-
ditional nuclear families no longer being the dominant family form
(Olson & DeFrain, 2000). Stepfamilies now constitute up to 30% of
family structures thereby implying that a significant number of step-
parents will encounter Family Court processes (Murphy & Pike,
2004b). Currently the Family Court does not routinely include step-
parents in its process which has led to many indicating a perception of
inequity.

Perceived Inequity

Most participants proposed they had this equitable relationship in the
home environment and their roles as protectors and parent figures with
regard to their stepchildren. However, the Family Court process and its


perceived inability to accept the role of stepparents had created an
imbalance which was evidenced in the following statements:

My role was nothing . . . we’re nobodies . . . I’m playing the role
of a father . . . but I have no say . . . I’ve been a part of his life for
13 years. . . .

This lack of understanding of the role one assumes in the family
structure highlights the perception of inequality within the Court sys-
tem. This is incongruent for many participants with research indicating
that decision-making is more equally distributed in second marriages

(Coleman, Ganong & Fine, 2000). Equity is positively correlated with
commitment and higher levels of unity and permanence in stepfamilies
(Larson, Hammond & Harper, 1998). The ability to conceptualise this
inequity led the participants to identify an overwhelming feeling of un-
fairness within the process, an example of this expressed as follows:

She (ex-wife) was allowed to express her opinions, the kids were
allowed input, my husband was allowed input, but I wasn’t
allowed any input at all, nothing. . . .

Theories of social justice presume fair and equitable treatment of all
people (Ruger, 2004). This theory promotes that individuals have the
right to participate in any decision-making process that will affect their
own well-being (Ruger). The difficulties of achieving social justice oc-
cur when defining who are the principle players and therefore becoming
the included participants (Kobayashi & Ray, 2000). For example, in
custody disputes the assumption is that the principle players are the
biological parents. The definition of being non-biological renders step-
parents as invisible and unable to participate in the decision making pro-
cess (Kobayashi & Ray). Interestingly, most participants understood
this principle commenting that if they were in court over their own bio-
logical children, they would not wish the “new” partner to be having ex-
tensive input in the decision-making process. However, they justified
their position in that they are not “new” partners and after being in an es-
tablished relationship and a part of the child’s life, they become an equal
part of the equation and should not be excluded due to the lack of
biological ties. Participants believed this contributed to feelings of a
lack of control.
When an individual believes they have little control over their envi-
ronment it creates feelings of powerlessness and hinders psychological


well-being (Daniels & Guppy, 1997). This was observed in the
statements:
. . . don’t forget I’m a nothing and they can’t consider your needs
or address them if you don’t exist . . . I felt like things were my
right and important and they weren’t being dealt with.
The feeling of powerlessness was heightened by the fact that the
adversarial process was beyond their control and they were given no
opportunity to address the imbalance. Equality Theory suggested that
people will try to equalize the situation (Longmore & Demaris, 1997),
however, in the adversarial process a lack of control and powerlessness

are exacerbated by the inability to participate. As a result negative emo-
tional consequences of resentment, anger and guilt were experienced
(Larson, Hammond & Harper, 1998).

Emotional Consequences

All participants cited stress directly and indirectly as a consequence
of the trauma their partner was experiencing. Furthermore, significant
negative emotional consequences were reported by over half of all the
participants;
I had to crack one day before anyone realized how stressful it was
for me. . .
I had a stroke. . .
I had to get counselling as I couldn’t cope with the stress. . .
I am taking anti-depression medication. . .
I have recently been prescribed anti-depressives. . .
I tried to kill myself.
Those in inequitable relationships report insecurity, lack of self-
esteem and significant levels of resentment (Larson, Hammond &
Harper, 1998). Given this, it is not too surprising to observe equivalent
emotions being communicated by the present sample.
Absolute resentment, it’s just so unfair . . . so resentful, so very
stressful . . .
. . . resentful, other people are making you go through this
process. . . .


Olson and DeFrain (2000) suggest centrifugal forces facilitate
cohesive relationships for family members, alternatively it can pull the
family apart. Resentment produces divisions in relationships as it re-
sults in participants withdrawing and failing to share positive feelings.
This is contradictory to the Family Systems Theory which proposed that
positive communication and feedback loops contribute to greater satis-
faction. This inability to share affirmative emotions can lead to individ-
uals failing to listen to, empathise, or care about their partners or
stepchildren’s feelings and opinions (Larson, Hammond & Harper,
1998). Reducing resentment can only be rectified with re-establishing
equality (Baker & Gaertner, 1998). The inability to achieve this resulted

in participants experiencing varying degrees of anger.
Although no participants in the current sample reported bouts of
physical anger, literature has supported the notion that anger, internal-
ized rage and frustration can produce depression and violence (Franklin
& Boyd-Franklin, 2000). Furthermore, the ongoing effort to manage
these feelings can eventually lead to a decline in the perception of an
ability to cope (Franklin & Boyd-Franklin). A representation of some
emotions experienced were:

Anger, anger and more anger. . .
. . . very, very angry. . .
. . . I became so very angry. . . .

This anger contributed to a direct avoidance of the stepchild. For
example:

I’m so angry that I don’t want to see my stepchildren anymore. . .
. . . will do anything and pay any amount of money not to have to
deal with them. . . .

This has serious repercussions as the avoidance of the stepchild can
impact upon the contact parent who gradually distances themselves
from their child. Research has indicated a detrimental outcome for both
parent and child when contact ceases post-divorce (Wall & Amadio,
1994). The participants who described intense feelings of anger also
experienced guilt due to the impact it had on their partners and
stepchildren.


Guilt refers to an unpleasant emotion associated with a person’s reac-
tion, which they believe they are not justified in feeling (Baumeister,
Stillwell & Heatherton, 1994). The feelings of resentment and anger
seem incongruent with the participants’ expectations of what they
themselves see as justifiable, such as:
Feel so resentful of my stepchild that makes me feel very, very
guilty. . . .
I felt so selfish in the end and that made me feel so guilty. . .
. . . felt so guilty for feeling this way. . . .

I will now do anything not to see my stepchildren, they are just a
reminder of all the exclusion all the bitterness, and I feel so guilty
about that. . . .
Understanding the cause of guilt is important as it is accompanied by
behavioural consequences (Baumeister, Stillwell & Heatherton, 1994).
Guilt has been linked to social exclusion, anxiety and disturbance of the
sense of belonging (Baumeister, Stillwell & Heatherton). Importantly,
the guilt experienced by the participants indicated genuine concern for
the children they felt resentment and anger for. When engaging in
self-judgment participants found those emotions incongruent with their
own expectations of what they perceived as “right” for them to feel
(Baumeister, Stillwell & Heatherton). A common strategy to relieve
guilt is to dehumanise the source thereby reducing discomfort (Baumeister,
Stillwell & Heatherton). This has similar implications to the conse-
quences of anger being the avoidance of the stepchild. This indicates
that some stepparents could use withdrawal as a way of returning to ho-
meostasis. They try to return the equilibrium to normal (Olson &
DeFrain, 2000), thereby avoiding the source of the discomfort. But this
has serious implications for both the stepparent/stepchild relationship
and the biological parent/child relationship.

INCIDENTAL FINDING

An incidental finding of this research was that of unrecognised or
“hidden” children. This was identified as singularly the most upsetting
for all the participants who had their own biological children and cre-
ated a feeling of “us” and “them,” confirming the impression of being
“hidden” in the process. Participants displayed disbelief that the courts


could ignore the children that were going to be affected by the decisions
made:
. . . my wife’s child was always spoken about as if it were the only
child in the relationship. . . .
. . . my children weren’t thought about once, they were hidden.
. . .we don’t exist, my daughter and I. . . .
It’s just like me, my children are second best. . . .
. . . my kids should have been important, and they’re not, they
never have been. . . .

One participant summarised her feelings as:
When my daughter was born it was like we don’t exist. It’s not just
me that doesn’t exist anymore, it’s both of us that don’t exist
now. . . .
This has negative consequences for stepfamily unity as it is divisive
in nature (Banker & Gaertner, 1998), and is damaging to both spousal
relationships (McKenna & Labozetta, 1997) and stepparent-stepchild
dyad relationships (Felker, Fromme, Arnaut & Stoll, 2002) and can
produce feelings of rejection, jealousy and exclusion (Rohrbaugh &
Bunker, 1992). The area of hidden children is unknown and warrants
considerable research.
In summary, increased levels of cohesion and the recognition of a
stepfamily as a legitimate group has resulted in reports of harmony and
accord (Banker & Gaertner, 1998). Further research has indicated that
unless the situation was highly conflictual, stepfamilies were found to
experience equivalent harmony to nuclear families (Banker & Gaertner).
Therefore consideration needs to be given to situations that cause families
to exist in conflict and what provokes members into withdrawing or fight-
ing for equity. Overall, when participants were asked how the experience
of supporting a partner through the Family Court process was for them,
the answers had similar negative connotations:
Excluded . . . it’s a terrible, terrible feeling, I wouldn’t wish it on
anyone. . . .
. . . going through this was the biggest mistake of my life.
. . . I’m considering at the moment whether to stay or whether to
go. . . .


The statements suggest that a stepparent’s experience of the Family
Court is difficult to understand and comply with. Regular contact with
lawyers and court systems is a stressful process. This is supported by
current literature that recognises disputes over children require families
to “live” within the legal process (Lebow, 2003).

CONCLUSION, LIMITATIONS AND DIRECTIONS
FOR FURTHER RESEARCH

This study has limitations as the sample was small and purposive

thereby specifically chosen. Those participants that replied to the post-
ers had experienced genuine distress due to their contact with the Fam-
ily Court process and therefore may have been motivated to contact this
researcher. Also, due to legislative differences between the states, these
findings cannot be generalised to all courts dealing with Family Law
considering the participants in the current sample dealt exclusively with
the Family Court of Western Australia.
Nonetheless current research has implications for bureaucratic agen-
cies as the insights gained should be of interest to practitioners, agencies
and their networks and families themselves. This research has identified
that prior knowledge of the Family Court could alleviate distress associ-
ated with misconceptions and a lack of awareness of the process. There-
fore, given policy change is lengthy, an immediate recommendation
suggests that the Family Court could employ the use of skilled profes-
sionals to educate and explain the current system and the role each
member plays within the process. The finding of exclusion suggests that
inviting all family members to participate in family therapy post-
separation could create a sense of inclusion. It may be necessary to
provide this as individual counselling, when factoring that subsequent
partners may exacerbate conflict. However, given that decisions made
will impact upon the life of the stepparent, support should be afforded to
them whether included in family mediation or as an individual. Further-
more, counselling should reflect the actual position and role of each
family member. The concept of invisibility could be addressed by iden-
tifying all family members, with a deliberate focus on uncovering those
that are affected by the process but remain hidden in the current system.
Due to stepfamilies becoming an increasing family form, further
research should continue to explore the issues surrounding stepparents
experiences. The impact of other bureaucratic departments such as the
Child Support Agency and the Australian Taxation Office, which were


highlighted by the sample but not addressed by the current research,
need to be explored. Further research needs to explore both what
impacts upon second and subsequent families. Furthermore, given the
current findings, what is the long-term affect of these experiences on
relationships between biological and non-biological family members?
In conclusion, the Family Court performs an unenviable task of de-
ciding what is in a child’s best interests. A child operates within a
bio-directional family system and ultimately what impacts upon the
whole family will inevitably impact upon the child. Therefore, the best
interests’ concept should extend to a family unit, recognising biological
and non-biological members. The inclusive nature of the systems ap-

proach is appropriate in alternative family forms as the very perception
of inclusion may eliminate the negative psychological consequences
which create division by promoting a focus within the family of healing
and cohesion.

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