Founder Communication Workshop
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The document discusses creating a culture where employees feel comfortable giving and receiving feedback. It emphasizes focusing feedback on specific observable behaviors, describing the impact on you, and asking about the other person's perspective. Examples are given for giving constructive feedback in a way that minimizes defensiveness, such as using a soft start to emphasize mutual goals. Tips for receiving feedback include looking for truths and acknowledging feelings rather than trying to be right. The importance of compliments and staying respectful is also covered.
![Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
Team & Culture](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-9-320.jpg)
![Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
Effective Teams
1. Participation
2. Collaboration
3. Cooperation (Commitment)
Research: All of these are correlated to
Group EQ
“Building Emotional Intelligence”, Wolfe & Druskat, Harvard Business Review, 2004](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-10-320.jpg)
![Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
“I’m starting to
feel defensive”
Inward
(my emotions)
Outward
(others’ emotions)
Emotional
Awareness
Emotional
Management
(“Regulation”)
“He seems to be
getting agitated”
• Take a deep breath
• “Could you give
me a sec?”
• Take a walk
“Are you ok?”
EQ (Individual)](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-11-320.jpg)
![Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
Inward
(Our Team)
Outward
(Other Teams)
Emotional
Awareness
EQ (Group)
Emotional
Management
(“Regulation”)](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-12-320.jpg)
![High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group
Group norms
determine group EQ
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
Group EQ](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-13-320.jpg)
![Photo by State Farm [link]
Social situations ≈ Physical threats
Threat Response](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-19-320.jpg)
![Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
David Rock
What social
situations trigger
a threat response?
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Fairness
SCARF Model](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-20-320.jpg)
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback
• Focus on specific, observable behavior
When you do [x]…
• Describe the impact of that behavior on you
I feel [y]…
• Ask about the other person’s motives or
intentions
Can you tell me what’s going on for you?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-23-320.jpg)
![Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
1:1 Feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-25-320.jpg)
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityTips for Constructive Feedback
• Use a soft start
– Emphasize mutual goals & positive intent:
My intention is… / This matters to me because…
When you do [x], I feel [y].
• Be aware of your own stress
• Goal is joint problem solving](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-28-320.jpg)
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLast Reminder
Stay on your side of the net
When you do [x], I feel [y].
Use the Vocabulary of Emotions.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/founderleadershipworkshopfeb2016contentonly-160204214612/85/Founder-Communication-Workshop-29-320.jpg)
Founder Communication Workshop
- 2. Why am I doing this? (Part 1)
- 3. One Big Idea
- 4. INTENT Needs Motives Stories Reality #1 BEHAVIOR Verbal Non-Verbal Reality #2 Common IMPACT Assumptions Feelings Responses Reality #3 The Net 3 Realities (The “Net” Model)
- 5. Feelings & Emotions – Why?? Everyone feels them; we just pretend we don’t. Convey crucial information; absence of emotion leaves out half the story. Emotions indicate importance. Most powerful motivator? They are an early warning system Feelings & Emotions – Why??
- 6. Self-Disclosure Will I be less liked, respected, influential (leader-like)? Is it relevant? Will it further the discussion – the relationship? Will others use this information against me? How will others see/assess/ judge me? “What in my ‘bubble’ should I share?” Self-Disclosure
- 7. “ VULNERABILITY IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF CONNECTION. ” BRENÉ BROWN
- 8. Authentic Leaders “The single factor distinguishing top quartile managers from bottom quartile managers was strength of affection.” --“Encouraging the Heart: A Leader’s Guide to Recognizing and Rewarding Others”, Kouzes & Posner Authentic Leaders
- 9. Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] Team & Culture
- 10. Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] Effective Teams 1. Participation 2. Collaboration 3. Cooperation (Commitment) Research: All of these are correlated to Group EQ “Building Emotional Intelligence”, Wolfe & Druskat, Harvard Business Review, 2004
- 11. Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] “I’m starting to feel defensive” Inward (my emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Emotional Awareness Emotional Management (“Regulation”) “He seems to be getting agitated” • Take a deep breath • “Could you give me a sec?” • Take a walk “Are you ok?” EQ (Individual)
- 12. Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] Inward (Our Team) Outward (Other Teams) Emotional Awareness EQ (Group) Emotional Management (“Regulation”)
- 13. High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] Group EQ
- 15. Exercise #3: Group Norms • On your own, rate your team on each of the norms in the handout • Then we’ll compare together as a group
- 17. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityWhy is Feedback Important? 1. Personal Development 2. Team Effectiveness 3. Stronger Relationships Bottom Line: Feedback is how we grow
- 18. Photo:RobbieGrubbs Can I give you some feedback?
- 19. Photo by State Farm [link] Social situations ≈ Physical threats Threat Response
- 20. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness SCARF Model
- 21. So… how do we communicate feedback while minimizing defensiveness?
- 22. INTENT Needs Motives Stories Reality #1 BEHAVIOR Verbal Non-Verbal Reality #2 Common IMPACT Feelings Reactions Responses Reality #3 The Net The Net (again) Feedback
- 23. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback • Focus on specific, observable behavior When you do [x]… • Describe the impact of that behavior on you I feel [y]… • Ask about the other person’s motives or intentions Can you tell me what’s going on for you?
- 24. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLet’s try some examples… 1. Joe, you clearly don’t care about this presentation. 2. Joe, I noticed that you are looking at your phone. You are clearly bored with this presentation. 3. Joe, I noticed that you are looking at your phone. I am feeling anxious about what message that might send to others in the room.
- 25. Photo by Ana Karenina [link] 1:1 Feedback
- 26. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityTips for Receiving Feedback • Look for “Grains of Truth” – Learning is better than being right – Goal is understanding, not winning • Listen and ask clarifying questions • Acknowledge your feelings • Gift mentality – Say “Thank you!”
- 27. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityTips for Complimentary Feedback • Give more!!! • Do not praise to buffer criticism – Avoid “The Sandwich” • Do not praise to overcome resistance • Avoid platitudes. Be specific: – Weak: “Joe, you’re killing it.” – Strong: “Joe, I’ve noticed you’ve been on time to almost every meeting this week. I feel grateful for the extra effort.”
- 28. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityTips for Constructive Feedback • Use a soft start – Emphasize mutual goals & positive intent: My intention is… / This matters to me because… When you do [x], I feel [y]. • Be aware of your own stress • Goal is joint problem solving
- 29. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLast Reminder Stay on your side of the net When you do [x], I feel [y]. Use the Vocabulary of Emotions.
- 30. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilitySuggested Topics For Feedback Work Product – Timeliness, quality, quantity, focus area Communication & Management – Too much/little – Choice of format – Email etiquette – Language choices, communication style with others – Transparency of project status, hiring/firing/promotions Role Modeling & Presence – What energy do you feel from this person? – How do they impact others? – What do they model well? – Anything you worry about? – Arrival/departure times – How they speak/listen/act/dress
- 31. Fostering a feedback-rich culture • Train your team on giving/receiving feedback • Schedule feedback-focused 1:1s (or begin 1:1s with two-way feedback) – And set expectations of managers/leaders to do the same
- 32. Thanks, good-bye, and stay on your side of the net