St. John's Parish Magazine - September. 2024
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- 4. - 2 - PETER D HANNABY Painter & Decorator Interior and Exterior work Undertaken For competitive quotations Please call Mobile: 07765 250092 Home: 01442 288956 MAGAZINE ADVERTISING COSTS Why not use this parish magazine to advertise your business. There are eleven issues per year with double issue in December/January. Charges are: Full Page £115 per annum Half Page £80 per annum Quarter Page £60 per annum For part year charges are pro rata of the annual rate rounded up to the nearest whole pound (e.g. 1 month/issue full page 115/12 = 9.58 rounded up = £10 charge) To discuss your requirements or for further information, please contact Sally Bates, 01442 266912 or 07792 768236 or email: [email protected]
- 5. - 3 - THE VICAR’S LETTER Dear Friends, To my shame, I have realised that I have become relatively lax in sending people ‘Thank you’ letters on receiving gifts or acts of kindness. As a child, my parents drilled me and my siblings to always write and say thank you (and Emma and I are doing our best to instill the same courtesy and respect into our girls). But I have noticed this seems to be a dying trend. Are we just getting busier and therefore a quick email, text message, or conversation is seen as performing the same func- tion? More often than not these are now my go-to ways of corresponding but I’m not convinced it is better or carries the same depth of sentiment as an actual letter/card. Are we less ‘thankful’ for acts of kindness and gifts? I don’t think so, although there is certainly a growing air of entitlement in our wider society. When I arrived in the Parish 10 years ago a regular congregant observed that our prayers of intercession were becoming a ‘please do this list’ to God with very little thanksgiving for all of God’s blessings to us. I hope this has changed for the better over the last decade, but even still the temptation to ask rather than give remains high. Of course, the prayers of intercession on a Sunday morning are offered within the Eucharist, which itself is a service of Thanksgiving (that’s what the word actually means). During the service we follow Jesus’ example in giving thanks to our heavenly Father for the bread and wine he has caused to grow and be produced and for the way it becomes the Body and Blood of Christ – the food of the new Kingdom, where sin and death are no more – which sustains us in our journey of faith. And at Choral Evensong the Prayer Book bids us “most chiefly so to do, when we assemble and meet together to render thanks for the great bene- fits that we have received at his (God’s) hands, to set forth his most worthy praise, … and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary, as well for the body as the soul.” Cont’d…..
- 6. - 4 - Our worship encourages us to be thankful and to recognise all the bless- ings so lavishly bestowed upon us. And in response to this abundant generosity, our liturgies also invite us to think of ourselves and others and how we might be able to give or help those in need. The route of all this though is God’s generosity. It starts with God. But it does require us to have our eyes and ears open to see and hear God’s blessings at work in our lives, in the Church, and in the world around us. Perhaps that is the potential problem – as a society we have become less attentive in looking for, or hearing God’s involvement and goodness around us. Perhaps we have grown blind or deaf - or selectively so - and only have eyes and ears to hear what is going on in our lives? In our fast-changing world this is so easy to do. What might we need to do to regain our sight and the awe and wonder at God’s amazing generosity? How might we listen afresh to the stories of God’s involvement in the lives of those around us? Do we need to go to the Church’s equivalent of Specsavers? This autumn, I for one, intend to reacquaint myself with the habit of thanksgiving. Perhaps you might like to do likewise. Every Blessing, Monday 9 September- to Sunday 22 September 2024 we are celebrating 30 years of Fairtrade. Fairtrade is when you buy or sell products and items that enable those who have produced them, like farmers, to be paid fairly. This helps them to have better working and living conditions. We can support Fairtrade by buying bananas, chocolate, tea and coffee.
- 7. - 5 - PARISH DIARY FOR SEPTEMBER 2024 Enquiries regarding baptisms weddings or marriage blessings are always welcome. Please contact the Vicar. Morning Prayer is said Daily at St John’s at 9.00am. You are most welcome to join the clergy in prayer. Evening Prayer is said privately for the life of the Parish unless details are below. St John’s is open daily 9.30am-5.00pm for private prayer (10.30am-5.00pm on Saturdays) The Parish Eucharist and worship resources will continue to be recorded and made available at www.stjohnsboxmoor.org.uk/suspended-services-resources Sun 1 Fourteenth Sunday of Trinity 8.00am BCP Holy Communion St John’s 10.00am All-Age Eucharist St John’s 10.00am Sung Mass St Francis' 11.30am Morning Worship St Stephen's 12noon Holy Baptism St John’s Tues 3 2.00pm Open Church: Sew, Knit, Natter St John’s Wed 4 10.00am Holy Communion followed by coffee St John’s 5.00pm Evening Prayer St Francis’ Thur 5 10.45am Mountbatten Communion Mountbatten Lodge 8.00pm Blessing of Marriage Rehearsal St John’s Fri 6 7.00pm Choir Rehearsal St John’s Sat 7 5.00pm Blessing of Marriage - Sue & Brian Bannister St John’s Sun 8 Fifteenth Sunday of Trinity - Sermon Series: God’s Good Gifts 8.00am BCP Holy Communion St John’s 10.00am Parish Eucharist St John’s 10.00am Sung Mass St Francis' 11.30am Holy Communion St Stephen's
- 8. - 6 - Mon 9 1.00pm Funeral: Fr Rex Merry St John’s 2.00pm Poetry Group 53 Beechfield Road 7.45pm Together on Monday Club St John’s The Buckingham Palace Garden Party Hall Speaker: Denise Chenelle Tues 10 9.30am Tiny Tots: Stay & Play and Service St John’s Hall 12.30pm Deanery Chapter Service & Meeting St John’s Wed 11 10.00am Holy Communion followed by coffee St John’s 5.00pm Evening Prayer St Francis’ Fri 13 7.00pm Choir Rehearsal St John’s Sat 14 Holy Cross Day All day Beds & Herts Bike & Hike All churches Sun 15 Sixteenth Sunday of Trinity - Sermon Series: God’s Good Gifts PARISH GIFT DAY 8.00am BCP Holy Communion St John’s 10.00am Parish Eucharist St John’s 10.00am Sung Mass St Francis' 11.30am Morning Worship St Stephen's 12noon Holy Baptism St John’s 6.30pm Choral Evensong St John’s Tues 17 9.30am Tiny Tots: Stay & Play and Service St John’s Hall 2.00pm Open Church: Sew, Knit, Natter St John’s 8.00pm Church Meeting: PCC Meeting St John’s Hall Wed 18 10.00am Holy Communion followed by coffee St John’s 3.00pm Friendship Tea St John’s Hall 4.00pm Baptism Preparation St John’s 5.00pm Evening Prayer St Francis’ 8.00pm MaSJ Board Meeting` Office Thur 19 10.30am Mountbatten Communion Mount- batten Lodge 8.00pm Church Meeting: Communications Committee Zoom
- 9. - 7 - Fri 20 12.30pm MaSJ Lunchtime Concert St John’s Charis Sykesud violin and Jack Redman piano 7.00pm Choir Rehearsal St John’s Sat 21 St Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist Sun 22 Seventeenth Sunday of Trinity - Sermon Series: God’s Good Gifts 8.00am BCP Holy Communion St John’s 10.00am Parish Eucharist St John’s 10.00am Sung Mass St Francis' 11.30am Morning Worship St Stephen's Mon 23 7.45pm Together on Monday Club St John’s Musical Evening - Musicians - Hall The Sitting Room Singers Tues 24 9.30am Tiny Tots: Stay & Play and Service St John’s Hall 8.00pm Church Meeting: Fundraising Committee Zoom Wed 25 10.00am Holy Communion followed by coffee St John’s 5.00pm Evening Prayer St Francis’ Fri 27 12.30pm MaSJ Lunchtime Concert St John’s Simon Watterton piano 7.00pm Choir Rehearsal St John’s Sun 29 St Michael and All Angels 8.00am BCP Holy Communion St John’s 10.00am Parish Eucharist St John’s 10.00am Sung Mass St Francis' 11.30am Morning Worship St Stephen's SMILE-LINES What ushers do Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud during the service. Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked indignantly. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers!”
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- 12. - 10 - Parish Gift Day 2024: Sunday 15 September It is clear that St John’s holds a special place within this community as our Jubilee celebrations have shown. But we need to build on this legacy so that the church remains in good-order of future generations to come together for significant life-event moments. To help with this task we are committing to a Parish-wide Gift Day in September where all households will be invited to make a gift to the church. To advance our chances of success please can I… • Encourage you to pray for our Gift Day • Invite you to speak favourably about the Church to your neighbours and the work we do in the community. Choral Evensong Choral Evensong this month will be on Sunday 15 September at 6.30pm in St John’s. Everyone is welcome. Confirmation Service This year there will be a Deanery Confirmation Service at The Church of the Resurrection, Grovehill, on Sunday 27 November at 6.30pm. If you are interested in being confirmed, or would like to explore what this means, please speak to the Vicar. Four people have already expressed an interest in being confirmed. Dates for preparation sessions are being confirmed. Harvest Writing on a rare sunny and warm July day it doesn’t seem possible to be thinking about Harvest, and yet the fields are turning golden and the farmers are beginning to bring in the harvest. As usual we shall offer to God our thanksgiving for his gifts in creation and those who bring-in the harvest. Cont’d….
- 13. - 11 - Harvest cont’d. Our celebrations will include a special All Age Eucharist on 6 October; a Quiz Night on Saturday 5 October at 7.30pm, and a collection for the Bishop of St Alban’s Harvest appeal Thrive: Nutrition & Sustainable Agriculture in Sri Lanka in partnership with The Leprosy Mission. Autumn Sermon Series: God’s Wonderful World During September the Ministry Team will be preach a mini-sermon Series on God’s amazing generosity in Creation and our response to all that he has given us. We will focus on God’s abundant generosity, our care for his creation, the Climate Crisis, and ways in which we as Christians (and as a Church) can do more to care for God’s creation. This will also dove- tail with our ambition to become recognised as an increasingly Eco- Church. These sermons will be given on Sundays 8, 15, & 22 September. St Francis Patronal Festival and Open afternoon: Sunday 13 October On Sunday 13 October at 4.00pm there will be Sung High Mass with Benediction in celebration of the Patronal Festival of St Francis, Hammerfield. All are welcome to join in giving thanks to God for the life and ministry of St Francis of Assisi, and for the witness of the Church in that part of the Parish. Refreshments will be served after the Service. The service will be preceded by an Open Day at St Francis, beginning at 11.00am, with stalls and refreshments available throughout the day, including Cream Tea and a raffle. The will also be a short recital at 2.00pm. Please do come along and support. Feel the Spirit You might like to add to your diary a special Choral Service on Sunday 20 October: Rutter’s Feel the Spirit – a collection of seven familiar spirituals expertly arranged for soloists, choir, and orchestra. Jubilee Mugs During the Exhibition a limited number of 150th Anniversary Mugs were made available to purchase. A goodly number have already been sold but we still have some still left. If you are interested and would like a mug or two you can buy yours at the back of St John’s: 1x mug £6 or 2x mugs for £10.
- 14. - 12 - Junior Church – All things Junior Tiny Tots Picnic Thank you to all our helpers who organised a lovely picnic on Tuesday 13 August for our Tiny Totters. The sun shone and lots of fun was had – as well as plenty of yummy things and conversation. Many of the Tots who have recently left to go to school asked how they can keep coming and be involved – watch this space as we find a date for our next Messy Church. Tiny Tots resumes this month with the first session on Tuesday 10 Sep- tember, 9.30am–11.00am. Stay and play, refreshments, followed by age appropriate worship. Open to all pre-school aged children and their parent/carer. Sunday Junior Church resumes on Sunday 8 September during the Parish Eucharist. All children are invited to a special time in the Hall where Jesus, his disciples, and the basics of our faith are explored in an age- appropriate manner. Primarily for children aged 4+, but younger age children are invited to attend with their parent/carer. Bike n’ Hike The arrival of September heralds another Bike n’ Hike in aid of Beds & Herts Historic Churches Trust. Mark Harbour will once again be cycling round as many churches as possible on Saturday 14 September (Andy Fisher is sadly unavailable this year) and inviting anyone else to join him. Last year well over 20 churches were visited. All sponsorship money is split 50:50 between the Parish and the Churches Trust so please be as generous as possible. Incidentally, Canon Malcolm Grant (one of our assisting priests) was the chairman of the local branch of the Trust until this summer.
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- 16. - 14 - The 2024 Harvest Appeal Prayer God of abundant life and grace, whose Son proclaimed good news to the poor, fed the hungry and healed the sick: we pray your blessing on the people of Sri Lanka, on their farmers and those struggling economically, and particularly on those affected by leprosy. As we rejoice in the abundance of our harvest, may our thanks overflow with the joy of giving. Give us the imagination and generosity to share our plentiful resources with those in need, that your Gospel of salvation be life-giving and life-changing, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. ********* How having faith in God can help you here on earth Anglicans are more likely to say that they are satisfied with their lives, and many older churchgoers say that they never feel lonely. A recent survey for the Belonging Forum, which supports dialogue between faiths, has found that there is a strong association between belonging to a faith group and having greater well-being and health. The survey found that religious people have higher levels of ‘social connectedness’ and friendships than the general population. They are more likely to speak with their neighbours regularly, and to have on average more friends than non-religious people do. It seems that faith communities can play an important role in providing a sense of belonging and purpose in the UK.
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- 18. - 16 - HALLS FOR HIRE ST JOHN’S HALL - Well equipped hall suitable for use by special interest groups, clubs and societies. Ideal for family parties and special occasions. Please contact Hall Bookings Secretary on 07939 226977 or email: [email protected] for further information and availability. ST STEPHEN’S HALL, CHAULDEN - (opposite Tudor Rose) - Sunny Hall with tiled floor suitable for dancing and exercise groups as well as being ideal for chil- dren’s parties. Please contact Jean on 01442 257023 for further information and availability. ST FRANCIS HALL, HAMMERFIELD - Well equipped hall suitable for use by special interest groups, clubs and societies. Ideal for family parties and special occasions. Please contact Hall Bookings Secretary by email: stfrancishallbook- [email protected] for further information and availability. More urgent queries can be handled by leaving a message on Paul Davies mobile phone: 07802 442908 Please Note: St. John's Church PCC cannot accept any responsibility for goods or services
- 19. - 17 - Toe-tal FOOT CARE Safe, hygienic, friendly service for all the family For the treatment of corns, callus, ingrown or thickened nails, nail trimming, cracked heels In the comfort of your own home Call Graham Spendlove, MCFHP, MAFHP Qualified Foot Health Professional Book now 07799 033974
- 20. - 18 - Herts Musical Memories deliver vibrant, therapeutic music sessions designed to help connect people to their memories through singing. The group is aimed at people worried about their memory or their voice, those living with dementia, their carers, or anyone who likes to sing and have fun - everyone is welcome! The Hemel group meets on Tuesday afternoons at St George's URC Hall. For more information please call 07515 633486. Prayer for September 2024 Lord, here we are in September – a beautiful month at the end of the summer, but before the autumn has taken hold. A month of excitement and new starts for many, a month when courage is needed for our children and young people. And Lord we pray for courage, compassion and integrity for our new Prime Minis- ter and our new government. We pray for justice and peace in our country and in the world. Help us Lord, to know that you are Lord of September; you are Lord and giver of every new month, every new day, every new minute. Help us to put our trust in you for our adventures and for our mundane everyday routines. You are our generous, loving Father and promise that you will never leave us or forsake us when we trust in you, through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen. By Daphne Kitching
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- 22. - 20 - The Choir - News and Plans On (usually) the first Sunday morning of each month our prospering Junior Choir under the ever-enthusiastic leadership of Helen Isaac, produces an animated performance, adorned in matching blue, of a lively anthem at the end of communion, which is always a joy to watch and hear. Some loyal members have now been in the Junior Choir for several years, whilst others continue to join. It has been a pleasure to see this new venture maintained and developed. Friday rehearsals are a whirl- wind of activity, and clearly enjoyed by the children. There’s always room for more so please spread news around amongst families about this joyful company of singers. If you only ever attend St John’s on Sunday mornings you might be forgiven for asking, “Choir? What choir?” – in terms of the adult choir, which only makes rare appearances at Morning Services. However, at evening services – usually Choral Evensong, our current group has been on stunning form throughout the year. If you haven’t been, a musical feast is available on one Sunday evening a month in most months, with a number of outstanding additional services including Advent Carols, The Annual Memorial Service and with an ever-increasing reputation for excellence, the Service of Lessons and Carols with orchestral accompani- ment. In 2023 this service, along with the Christingle services saw record numbers attending. Recently, at Passiontide, we performed a Cantata, “The Saviour” by William Lloyd Webber. Some members have also sung services at St Francis Hammerfield. It remains an unfulfilled challenge, however, to recruit and maintain a 10am adult choir. Our splendid adult choir now comprises both longstanding members of St. John’s church, and also benefits greatly from regular visiting singers who contribute greatly to the choir, but who often attend their own churches on Sunday mornings. It is a different way of operating from the past, but has proved to be very successful. In the last year there has been a significant upturn in able singers joining. On my arrival at St John’s the last members of the then junior choir soon moved on to greater things. Most notably Vanessa who is now the ordained Precentor at St Albans Cathedral. This left the choir with few treble-line singers. Cont’d
- 23. - 21 - Fortunately, since then a considerable number of new volunteer members have joined, providing a very dependable soprano line. There have been increasing numbers in all the other parts except tenors, and we still usually need to import some voices – usually tenors, at a fee. The good news on this is that during this year the need for paid voices has been decreasing in number, and of those two or three that we use, most are now almost as regular as the regulars! Nicholas King continues to make an invaluable contribution to music- making through his accom- paniment of choral services, always with flair and panache. Overall then, I can report a happy past year in the choir, celebrated as usual, just before Lent, with a fine annual dinner, and another exciting year in prospect. If you have not recently attended a choral service, please come and hear for yourself. Alternatively come and sing with us. There is no audition as such, and while reading music is desirable, it is not essential, as several members demonstrate regularly. The vast majority of our services including choral services are readily available to revisit on the Website. The Autumn is always busy for the choir and this year, on Sunday October 20th the choir, with a small orchestra which we now usually call the “St John’s Ensemble” will sing John Rutter’s “Feel the Spirit” It’s a moving and exhilarating arrangement of seven very well-known spirituals- you will know all the tunes before it starts! This will be the final event in the 150th Anniversary celebrations. It will be entirely unmissable. Keith Beniston - Director of Music
- 24. - 22 - 'Music Percentage Club Update’ Congratulations to the winners of the July Music Percentage Club draw: Gill Williams 1st £15 Sally Bates 2nd £8 Marion Roff 3rd £4 If you know of someone who would be interested in joining the Music Percentage Club and supporting Music at St John’s in this way there are forms in church or please contact Mark Harbour on 01582 841019 or see him in church. *********************** BOOK REVIEW The Quiet Path – Contemplative practices for daily life By Andrew Rudd, Canterbury Press, £12.99 The Quiet Path is a book for the walker, or the arm- chair traveller, the clear-sighted tourist, or the bewil- dered wanderer. Blending reflection and poetry, it shows how the simple practice of walking can become a quiet path of won- der, and how a brief pause in a busy day can turn into contemplation. It explores how the ordinary practices of walking and noticing, recognising and writing can help us discover depth and spirituality in everything we encounter and find a deeper awareness of a Presence in all things. This book is not about the big idea, the motorway, the A-road, the bypass. It’s about snickets, byways, bridleways and gentle lines across the map. Every page is a signpost pointing down a quiet path, ready for you to take a walk through the landscape of the heart.
- 25. - 23 - OCTOBER 2024 - PRICE 60p Please note the deadline for articles for the October edition of the magazine is Sunday, 1st September. You can e-mail direct to [email protected] or leave articles in magazine pigeonhole or deliver direct to 27 Beechfield Road. Please note any articles sent by email should be in A5/A4 format (MS Word or MS Publisher preferred). Thank you. Sally Bates, Editor, Tel No. 266912 or Mobile 07792 768236. PLEASE NOTE Website for St John’s Boxmoor is: www.stjohnsboxmoor.org.uk E-mail: [email protected] Website for Music at St John’s is http://masj.org.uk Facebook Page: St Johns Church, Boxmoor NEWSLETTER: If you would like to receive a copy of the weekly Newsletter by e-mail, please contact Alan Munford - [email protected] with your e-mail address and he will arrange to send it to you. Please send any items for inclusion in the Newsletter to the Parish Office at the email address: [email protected] SUBSCRIPTION TO MAGAZINE If you would like to receive a copy of St John’s Parish Magazine on a regular monthly basis, please email [email protected] or telephone him on 01442 242543 or complete your details below and return tear-off slip to: Mr. Alan Munford, 16 St Nicholas Mount, Hemel Hempstead HP1 2BB Name……………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Address ………………………………………………………………………………………………………... ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………... ........................................................................................................................... Contact Telephone Number ………………………………………………………………………...
- 26. - 24 - Whilst throwing sponges at Mike in the stocks at the Church Fair he asked me about my MacMillan T-shirt. He suggested that I tell you all about our fundraising efforts ……. We started doing MacMillan Mighty Hikes back in 2019 our first being The Thames Path. Since then we have walked The South Downs and our third will be The Wye Valley at the beginning of September. We are a group of friends, Theresa and Julie we went to college together, and Jayne, Julie’s work colleague and friend, we have all experienced family members, and or friends who have been supported by MacMillan Cancer Support. We started our hike’s in 2019 soon after Theresa’s Dad was diagnosed with cancer, he is still fighting, both of Julie’s parents lost to cancer, and Jayne’s mum and Julie’s aunt in remission, 2019 marked 10 years since my Dad’s (John Roff many of you will remember him) death. So you can see why we all want to do our bit for this great charity. So far we have raised over £4000 on our various events. If you feel able we would be very grateful for any contributions to our fundraising page. https://tinyurl.com/87vb3e9p Gill Hudnott
- 27. - 25 - *SEE BELOW *Please contact Andy/Dee Fisher Contact number 07776 183732
- 28. - 26 - 2024 IS PROVING TO BE A VERY BUSY YEAR FOR HEMEL HEMPSTEAD THEATRE COMPANY! Hot on the heels of last year’s pantomime came January auditions for ‘Allo ‘Allo, which proved very popular with our audiences; and that was swiftly followed by an arresting production of the musical Little Shop of Horrors. In August, came our annual week-long Summer School for children, which this year presented a colourful and energetic production of The Wizard of Oz – complete with the ruby slippers and a yellow brick road. Now we are looking forward to an exciting autumn with a cast of over 20 adults working their socks off on Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Noth- ing. There’s not long to wait now – performance dates are Wednesday, September 18 – Saturday, September 21 at 7.45 pm with a matinee at 2.30 pm on the Saturday. HHTC’s production of this well-loved romantic comedy begins with a band of officers and soldiers arriving back in England at the end of World War One and heading for a friend’s country house for some much- needed R&R. Unsurprisingly, romance is on the agenda; but one couple – Beatrice and Benedick – prefer to resume a long-standing verbal battle. Can they be persuaded to recognise their real feelings for each other? And will the more straightforward love affair between younger couple, Hero and Claudio, come to a happy ending? There are villains on the scene determined to cause trouble unless they can be thwarted by the actions of a bunch of amateur policemen with more enthusiasm than common sense. “I decided to move the action from its original setting in Italy to England, because the characters and the house-party setting have such a very English feel,” says director, Maggie Harvey. “It fits very neatly into the end of the First World War, a cross-over period between the Edwardian era and the Gay Twenties. Cont’d.
- 29. - 27 - Although the costumes reflect the end of Edwardian England, the soldiers’ uniforms and some snatches of music indicate a change of mind -set and a reaching forward into the modern world.” Do come and see this production – it promises to be an interesting and lively evening. And remember that the Boxmoor Playhouse, home of HHTC, is just across the road from St John’s Church. Tickets cost £17 - £19 and are easy to book from the HHTC website, there is comfortable raised seating in the back half of the hall, and you can enjoy an ice cream in the interval or a drink from our bar, manned by trained volunteer members. A very special way to start the autumn! Maggie Harvey
- 30. - 28 - St James the Least of All On why you should never replace your hymn books The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren I am surprised you are considering buying a new set of hymn books for your church. I had assumed everything you sang would be projected on to one of those screens which are invariably placed to obscure the altar. In my – fortunately limited – experience of such devices, they provide the projectionist with endless opportunities for showing the wrong hymn, or the right hymn but from another edition, which will contain either one verse too many or one too few. Should the hymn run to two pages, then the turnover always takes place some milliseconds after that verse has started, so that the congregation is faced with the snap decision of either trying to sing two lines at double time, or just to join in late, making a nonsense of the words. When we decided to change hymn books some years ago, the reverbera- tions made the consequences of that little event in Sarajevo seem insignificant. The proposal was to move from Hymns Ancient and More Ancient to the more recent version: Hymns Ancient and Slightly Less Ancient. Colonel Wainwright said he would be happy so long as we continued fighting good fights and urging Christian soldiers onwards. The men wanted the hymns they remembered from school, the ladies those they sang at their weddings, and no one would consider anything that dropped ‘thines’ or ‘wouldsts’. The basses in the choir wanted hymns they knew the tenors found difficult and those who couldn’t read music wanted more hymns sung in unison. When a rumour started that the books may contain hymns written in the last 50 years, timetables were consulted for bus services to the next village.
- 31. - 29 - Eventually we reached a perfect compromise: doing something which made no change whatsoever. Miss Simpson was charged with buying yards of sticky backed plastic and repairing the current books. She put a note on the front of every copy that if the page for the hymn they want- ed was missing, they should share with the person sitting next to them – an experience which will be almost as traumatic as being invited to pass the peace. Yet another decision has thereby been deferred for a Church Council to make some time next century. Harmony reigns once again. Your loving uncle, Eustace
- 32. - 30 - at St John’s JULY 2024 HOLY BAPTISM 28th July Harriet Freya Franklin Cotterells Hill May the Lord of his great mercy bless this child and give her understanding of his wisdom and grace. BURIAL OF ASHES 20th July Diana Large George Street
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- 35. - 33 - SMILE-LINES Those Church Notices that didn’t quite make it… A talk on drugs will be given at the next Mothers’ Union meeting. This will be followed by a Bring and Buy Sale. A sudden gust of wind took all who were at the ceremony by surprise. Hats were blown off and copies of the vicar’s speech and other rubbish were scattered over the site. The Rector is on holiday this month. Local clergy will be celebrating with us all the Sundays that he is away. Don’t allow anxiety to kill you. Let the church help. Don’t miss the Young Wives’ Victorian evening next month. It will be a fun night and some of the women will wear clothes. Miscellaneous observations on daily life… The secret to a clean kitchen is simple. Don’t cook. Ever. The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Microchips: What’s left at the bottom of the bag. The inventor of the doorbell obviously did not own a dog. Unseen A small girl greeting her father on his return from a journey by air and learning that he had flown above the clouds, asked if he had seen God. “Well, no,” said her father, “you can’t see God like that because He doesn’t have a body.” “Oh,” she said, with pity and disappointment, “only head and legs?”
- 36. Produced and printed by the Parish of Boxmoor